Although, today is a fantastic day, as I’m feeling wonderful, the dread of next week is looming.\u00a0 I keep telling myself, it’s treatment 3 and that’s half way there.<\/p>\n
I’m half-way there.<\/p>\n
But I just can’t shake that feeling of a constant countdown.\u00a0 Today, tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday.<\/p>\n
My life is now lived in weeks.\u00a0 Week 1 is horrible, week 2 is better and in week 3, my energy level is best, so I try to pack in as much as I can because the countdown is on.\u00a0 You see, it’s never out of my mind.\u00a0 My great days on chemo are still far from my normal days not on chemo.<\/p>\n
I catch glimpses of my round head in shadows at night, passing the mirror in the dining room, or in my car’s rear-view mirror.\u00a0 I’ve grown tired of “hiding” my head and I often leave it exposed.\u00a0 It’s just a nuisance to keep it covered at all times.\u00a0 If I do cover it, I’m typically in a hat.\u00a0 I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to it.\u00a0 I’ve accepted it, embraced it, even, but it’s still something so unnatural to me.<\/p>\n
I wondered last night if Mary Clare will even remember my hair.\u00a0 Even after chemo, my nurse explained,\u00a0 your hair begins to grow very slowly.\u00a0 So, I imagine it will be years before I have longer hair again.\u00a0 I may never have long hair again.\u00a0 I loved my short do.\u00a0 Time will tell.\u00a0 Mary Clare told her teacher that she was angry with her daddy because he shaved my head.\u00a0 Then I saw an art project she created with a portrait of me.\u00a0 Her teacher wrote her quote, “My beautiful bald mom.”\u00a0 My hope is that she and McCanless are learning from this experience, too.\u00a0 Hopefully learning tolerance, acceptance and compassion.<\/p>\n
I’ve prepared for next week in terms of schedules-Mel has a conference in Chicago, so I’m flying solo all week. I’ve planned a chemo party with a few friends on Monday morning who are kind enough to get me there and home.\u00a0 I’ve rationed out the girls and made dance, school, lunch, doctor visits, med checklists.\u00a0 I’m ready, but I’m so not ready.<\/p>\n
Regardless, it’s here.<\/p>\n
But.<\/p>\n
I’m half-way there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Although, today is a fantastic day, as I’m feeling wonderful, the dread of next week is looming.\u00a0 I keep telling myself, it’s treatment 3 and that’s half way there. I’m half-way there. But I just can’t shake that feeling of a constant countdown.\u00a0 Today, tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday. My life is now lived in weeks.\u00a0 Week […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7008"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7008\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7012,"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7008\/revisions\/7012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.babypennington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}