AgesThirteen and Ten

Today, I started Tamoxifen.

Honestly I only started today because tomorrow I’ll see Dr. Butler, my Oncologist, and I’m afraid of what he’ll say when I tell him I’ve only taken it for two days.  He wrote my prescription a couple of weeks before my radiation treatments ended (back in April) and told me to begin the day after my last treatment.  I really don’t have a great reason for postponing it.

I just did.

I guess, for the first time since last August, I didn’t have a treatment, medicine, or anything having to do with cancer on the docket and it felt nice not to worry about it.  I’ve never been much of a medicine taker, but I guess that will have to change. MC takes two different seizure meds three times a day, and an asprin everyday, and this week:  an antibiotic for sinus infection, nasal spray and eye ointment  4 times a day.  So why not throw in a little anti-hormone pill for me.

I have to take it everyday for the next 5 years.

When I complete my Tamoxifen, McCanless will be thirteen and Mary Clare will be ten, which seems like an eternity away.

Five years ago, I was nine months pregnant with Mary Clare and would soon begin  one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  I had no idea how much joy and pain her presence would bring.  Tonight, as I was in the kitchen, she clamored in on a pair of McCanless’s hand-me-down pink and purple skates two sizes too big, a green leotard, and hot pink Halloween gel in her hair as she ate a banana.

How different life would be without my tiny miracle.

How amazing the last five years have been.

So, cheers to the next five. I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us!  Bring on the Tamoxifen, hot flashes and all!

 

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