Like a ton of bricks…
So, it hit me today as I was watching a Jif peanut butter commercial. (Which is ironic in itself; I never watch television. I just happened to turn on the television in the kitchen as I was eating a bowl of cereal for lunch.) A teenager in college received a care package from her mother. She was calling to thank her for the comfort food and love from home. The mom answered the phone and said, “Hi college girl.” That’s when it hit me. In ten years, McCanless will probably have narrowed down her college choices. At 16, I was entering my junior year of high school, I thought I knew everything and was on a one way track to USC. I thought of the experiences I lived through, thank goodness, and thought of all that I had in front of me at that point in life, with so much to learn. McCanless will be there in 10 years. 10 years is not a long time AT ALL. I was in tears again as I thought, “Then Mary Clare is only three years behind her.”
Am I crazy?
Okay, so I know she is only six, but still I’m a mom. I want my babies with me forever. My tune may change as my “babies” grow into teenagers. For now, though, I wish I could freeze time and keep them with me always. I love the midnight sounds down the hallway when I realize that I’ll soon have an additional snuggle partner. (I find it fun to guess who it actually is. A thud and hard, slow steps and a pillow dragging behind mean McCanless is on her way. Quiet and quick pitter-patter foreshadows my youngest baby girl who will inevitably ask for juice as soon as she climbs into bed.) I love taking McCanless to school with me and love that she is proud to walk down the hallway hand-in-hand with her mother for now. And if only Mary Clare’s complete trust in me and belief that I, as her mother, can fix anything would last forever. I know so much of this will change, but I’ve got my fingers crossed. (We can always buy a king sized bed as they grow taller, right?)
I’ve found that I love each phase of our lives more and more as the years pass. I can’t imagine having more love and more fun with my little family than I do right now, so I can’t to see what is in store for us! Hopefully, I won’t have to face anymore peanut butter commercials any time soon.
4 Comments
Terri Woodham on January 7th, 2010
Trust me! I tried to keep my babies under hand as long as I could-until I was told “Mom, I don’t live here anymore!” or I’ve got things to do with my friends or somthing’s going on in Columbia” It was VERY hard to take, but I love my “grown up” babies just as much now-I just have to share them!
I treasure every minute I’m fortunate to spend with my grown babies and my little ones! Love you all, Mom/Nonnie
chaarlow on January 7th, 2010
You just wrote what moms think everyday! Sweet post. I am right there with you! Can you imagine life with those two as teenagers? You have to look back at this when they are!! Love your sweet girls!
Case
Shannon Mason on January 10th, 2010
Oh wow, now you have me crying! I guess I never really thought about it like that, I mean they ARE going to stay little forever right?!? And when you mentioned walking into school hand and hand…I LOST IT! I still have the privilege of holding Caiteyn’s hand as we walk to school as well, and I’m so happy that it is usually her grabbing for my hand…now I’m sure to get teary eyed every time it happens. Who really knows how long it will go on…can’t they just be little FOREVER?!
KATE on January 7th, 2010
crying now… I want to freeze time myself.. I love them both so much. Kiss the girls for me!! Love you Kerri!!!! You’re such a wonderful mother and person!