I didn’t post picutres of my sweet Mary Clare in the hospital after her first open heart surgery. I was just too afraid to share that with the world on her blog. I barely took any photos, for that matter. I didn’t even post. Mel wrote all of the updates at MUSC for a while. I was focusing only on her and I really couldn’t tell you why I didn’t want to post or take photos. It was hard enough to remember to breathe.
I did post one sweet photo of her on the day before her surgery so that many of our friends and family could see her for the first time. I didn’t realize at the time that it would be the only photo of her precious body without the battle scars of multiple open heart surgeries. A few months later when I printed all of her MUSC photos and I was putting together a book/journal of her heart journey, I sat on the floor in front of my album, holding her and that one photo of her without her scar. Only one single photo shows her perfect and precious body. I cried and cried, knowing that she was marked forever. A scarlet letter adorning her chest. A constant reminder of her broken heart and this very difficult journey of life for her.
Then, I didn’t realize how much that one little scar would change all of us. It certainly is a constant reminder of many things. Now, however, I choose to see the beauty in that scar, for without it, I wouldn’t have my sweet, sweet miracle. It reminds me of all that is precious in our lives. It reminds me to thank God for every moment.
July 1, 2007
Mary Clare without her precious scar.
4 Comments
KATE on February 12th, 2010
I remember the very first time I saw our sweet MC.. It was a quick second – wrapped in her newborn blanket and hospital bonnet laying peacefully in her incubator.. She was such a beautiful baby. I still remember how badly I wanted to hold her during her first month of life while she was at MUSC.. Today I appreciate every single hug, kiss, smile, laugh, cry, tantrum and the occasional hit (or love tap..) I receive from sweet MC.. For having 1/2 a heart – She has one biggest hearts out of any and everyone I know!!! She has brought so much joy and love into my life and makes me so proud! I hope to one day to be able to find the words to truly explain what MC means to me.. I love her with all of MY heart Kerri!!! You are a wonderful mother and YES GOD is good and I thank him everyday for your sweet, sweet family! I love you..
Sissy on February 13th, 2010
Simple thought – any time I feel I’m having a bad day – I think of you, Kerri and Mary Clare – you are both strong and even in my “older” years, I can learn from you both…..I love you, MC, and McCanless. Each day I read your blog, it makes my day…..Sissy aka Sherrill
Shannon Mason on February 14th, 2010
What a sweet post…I only have a few pictures of Carlie without her scar as well. And like you, I was too afraid to take pictures during that time. But without those precious scars, out babies wouldn’t be where or who they are today (or us for that matter right?)!
Rachel Medlin on February 12th, 2010
I cannot imagine my baby boy having to have needed that scar in order for my being able to mother him, Kerri. Your words today remind me of all my many blessings. He was a very, very hyper-active child and even today he says he exhibits some autistic characteristics. That may have been the problem all along. But we carry on with the miracles God gives us to the best of our ability, knowing that it is only by His grace and mercy that we do so. You attest to this in your story to the world, and you never cease to remind us Who is in control! I love you and your sweet family; and I will always remember you as a child in Sunday School at FBC! Carry on. You are doing a marvelous job!