Often, I’m asked, or told rather, “I don’t know how you do it.”

Honestly, I don’t either. Not that I have a choice in the matter, anyway. I’ve always been a “laid back” sort of person and I’m sure that helps. Acceptance is another huge factor. I’ve come to realize that although life isn’t exactly as I planned, it’s far more than I could have ever dreamed it would be. It is truly amazing. I’m not really sure why I’m asked that, honestly. I feel so lucky and so blessed with our life. Sure, the easiest path wasn’t just placed in our laps, but what we are able to truly see because of all of the bumps and curves of the path we are on is spectacular. The view is amazing and I wouldn’t want to see it with anyone else.

Wednesday, McCanless learned to ride her bike without training wheels! She’s had bikes for years, just never had the patience to “go for it” without the security of training wheels. She’s an all or nothing kind of girl. If she can’t go all the way, she’s not going anywhere. Her bike was out at my mother’s house, with a big grassy yard. She was so determined to get it, she fell and cried, and fell and cried and was so angry until she finally got it! Then, she was determined to perfect it! She’s certainly a determined soul. I pray for my patience with her every single day. I’m starting now, so when she’s a teenager, I’ll have reserves.

Mary Clare is slowly gaining strength. She’s playing outside with her big sister often (probably a little too rough) and having fun getting back into the swing of things. She’s asked to go to school, so I think she’s a bit bored with me.

She also had another seizure yesterday. At the time, I was in a bit of panic mode because it was so very different than any of her previous seizures. She’s been having her “tics” every day since being discharged from MUSC, something we’ve almost become used to. I write them all down and note the time to have a record. There is really no rhyme or reason. In fact, she only had two on Wednesday. I was hopeful that Thursday would be “tic free” day, possibly. She woke up around 9 and had two immediately. She had them about every two to five minutes. Mel went to work, McCanless was at school. I wrote down every “tic” she had until about 10, when we were playing in the sun on the back deck. She was at her sand and water table, and I had gone into the kitchen for a few minutes watching her out of the window. She came walking into the kitchen and was staring at the wall saying nothing. When I got on my knees to talk to her, she was staring right through me with that all too familiar face. Immediately, I grabbed her and ran to the den, where her “emergency backpack” was. As I tried to talk to her, she still stared into space and never responded to me. After about a minute, she seemed to pop out of it and grew angry with me because I “took her away from her sand table.” I called Mel and he and I both watched her for about 30 minutes. She had two more staring “spells” and had very strange behavior. She would be dizzy and talking like a baby, running around silly, then go back to normally playing at her table. It was very odd and very scary. I put in a call to her neurologist and just watched her. After thirty minutes, she curled up into my lap and fell asleep. She slept in my arms hard for an hour.

After talking to her neurologist and realizing that it was definitely a seizure, I’m prepared. It wasn’t one I have seen before, and I was terrified. Now, I know. We altered her Depakote and plan to talk to her neurologist regularly about her seizure activity. She’ll have blood work soon to determine the levels in her blood and we’ll go from here. Just like every other day. Each day is a new adventure with both of my sweet girls and as I’ve said, this path may not have been what I planned, but the view is spectacular and I certainly wouldn’t change it for anything.

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