Yes, I choose to smile.
I know I smile a lot. Often others tell me to let my true feelings out, not to hide under my big smile. They “worry.” And maybe I am masking fear, anxiety, but isn’t it my choice to carry on how I know? I hate making others uncomfortable. I really don’t think it’s about me and hiding my feelings, it’s a little about protecting others. So, I smile.
I will smile. It’s what I do. Even when tears are streaming over something as trivial as a cheesy Hallmark commercial, or I’m at my wits end with the girls about to explode in anger, or even sitting quietly at MUSC holding my baby’s hand as she lay on a table solely supported by tubes and machines, I smile. It’s what gets me through. It is what has made me get to this point in life, without falling to pieces. A smile is my promise of hope to myself and anyone else who notices.
Sure, I have my days of feeling completely defeated and I sob. I sob to my husband, to my God. I think everyone has to let it all out at some point. But, I feel better when I smile.
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have” -author unknown.
So true.
I’m not strong. I do what I have to do to carry on because I don’t have a choice. If I did, my youngest daughter would have a perfect heart and a perfect brain. I would have hair, not cancer. McCanless would not have had to grow up so quickly learning way too much about how fragile life is. Mel would have hair. (Wink) But life is life and so much about life is amazing. I choose to focus on those wonderful days. I choose to smile and remember those wonderful days, not dwell in the hardships.
Although, those hardships do make us that much more passionate, and make us hold on to what truly matters most.
So isn’t that something so smile about?
11 Comments
Terri Woodham on October 26th, 2011
Keep smiling, my love. You are a remarkable young woman and very STRONG-don’t you ever doubt that. I doesn’t hurt to cry, and cry very hard and loud-just let it out if you need.
When you’re having a bad day, just lean on God a little more. I do more praying in the car, going back and forth to work everyday-that’s my quiet time when I can really talk to God.
I love you and pray for the day when all this is behind you. I’m here…
Mom
Rachel Medlin on October 26th, 2011
Amen! I’m with you on everything you said here, Kerri. Keep on just the way you are–you’re much better for it! Love, Rachel
Sissy - aka Sherrill on October 26th, 2011
and what a great smile it is!
Jenny on October 26th, 2011
Your smiles are so inspiring they bring tears to my eyes. You ARE a strong person. I completely agree with Alli- it takes strength to deal with the hands you have been dealt with a smile, instead of finger pointing, blame and bitterness. You are an amazing person Kerri and you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
mimi and bapa on October 26th, 2011
My mother always said ” smile and people smile back”. It is the one thing you can give away and always get back. We love your sweet smile.
Rebecca butcher on October 26th, 2011
Yes, indeed!
FYI…you put Demi Moore to shame! Smoking hot girlfriend! 🙂
Cathy on October 26th, 2011
you write soo well! you just made me smile 🙂
You are a strong person and an AMAZING example to others!
I think my daddy has the same thoughts as you… he loves to smile even though some days I know it is hard…BUT he has a choice everyday, just a little more worry on his plate….
He has a strong hug… just in case you might need one when you are taking a monday cocktail!
chaarlow on October 26th, 2011
You are amazing and so is your beautiful smile!
Carrie on October 26th, 2011
Don’t ever stop..I know your smile brightens my day and when I don’t feel like smiling, all I have to do is look at your beautiful smile and all is right again. You are amazing. With hugs and prayers.
Elizabeth Hall on October 27th, 2011
Keep smiling, sweet friend! We will smile with you! Much love!
Alli on October 25th, 2011
You are amazing, not matter what you try and say to deflect the compliment. Choosing to smile is just that, an active choice made by a great person. Many in this world choose not to smile when they experience trials and instead point fingers and blame everywhere they can find. You are an example.
Hang in there… you are probably feeling pretty nasty this week. I pray that it passes quickly so you can get on to a better week.
Hugs!
Alli