Still going…and going…and going…

I think I’m less like the Energizer Bunny and more like the batteries themselves at this point.  (wink) Actually, I’m having very little side effects from radiation.  I think the drive to Columbia wears on me each day, but honestly that doesn’t even hit me until I stop.  It’s when I actually sit down and have a moment to think about how long it takes me and how often I make the drive that makes me tired.  I do have a nice sunburn square on my chest and breast.  I’ll have a nice tan square when it’s all said and done, I’m afraid.  The clear, circular stickers that cover my paint pen marks (for alignment), also leave a nice little odd tan mark.  It will take a while to get these lines to fade and “even me out.”  More beach time will take care of that I’m sure.  My oncologist won’t mind at all.

I think it’s funny that my last post was #13 with 20 left.  Today, I received a call that my specific machine was down, so I was able to skip today. Monday was my #20 with 13 remaining to go.  Soon I’ll be down to two hands!

Life continues on.  The girls are busy with spring musicals, dance recital practice and end of the year cramming.  Honestly, I couldn’t have planned a better time to have ended chemotherapy and started radiation.  December 27th was my last chemo treatment.  It marked the end; a fresh start with a new year ahead.  Right now, I’m in the thick of radiation and Spring and I’m probably as busy as it gets.  A perfect time, as far as I’m concerned.  It keeps my mind and body busy, which makes each treatment speed by.

Today, after MC’s dance class we visited Ms. Janie’s shop.  Ms. Janie has probably altered every one of my Easter dresses, dance costumes, and prom dresses (back in the day) and even a few maternity dresses.  Now she also hems and stitches for my girls.  As Mary Clare proudly twirled in her new purple flowered, velvet recital costume that was no less than 4 sizes too big, I noticed myself in the wall sized mirror in the overfilled shop.

And I liked what I saw.

I actually liked my hair.

Sure, it’s not my usual long and light brown hair.  I can’t braid it or twirl it, as I long to do.  But for the first time, I saw it in a new light.  I’ve tolerated it, at best, up until this point.  I even got a hair cut last week.

I realized at that moment, that same mirror has seen me in so many stages of my life.  Like Mary Clare, usually at my proudest in my “Sunday Best” showing off  and spinning as Ms. Janie works her magic.

I haven’t felt my Sunday best lately, but today reminded me that everything is so very temporary.  I should enjoy it and like what I see in the mirror everyday.  Life keeps going and going whether you enjoy it or not.

So, when another customer walked into Ms. Janie’s shop and complimented my short haircut, I didn’t go straight into my “well… it’s actually not short by choice” story.  I simply said, “Thanks, I like it too.”  No explanation.  No need, because I do like it.  Finally.

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