Back to School 2014

5th Grade and 1st Grade, here we come!

Mary Clare is seven!

Miss Manners Camp 2014

While big sister was away at Camp Tonawandah for three weeks, baby sister had fun at our local YMCA Miss Manners Camp for a week.  Each day she looked forward to dressing up, dancing and learning how to be a proper lady.

On the last day of camp, Mary Clare asked to put her new skills to the test at Yogi Bear.  Our lunch date was a smashing success.  (Notice her pinky?)

Camp Tonawandah

McCanless headed to Hendersonville, NC for summer camp this year.  Camp Tonawandah is where Aunt Liz attended camp and Mimi and Bapa spent several summers as counselors.  Mel loves the area and has looked forward to the day we would send McCanless.  (Three weeks is a long time for mommy, so I had to build myself up to it!!)  McCanless didn’t know anyone at camp and was counting down the days.  I am so very proud of her and thrilled that she loves overnight camp!

Pick Up Day!!

Happy 5K Graduation, Mary Clare!

 

 

 

no.

This morning as I chatted with a few mommy friends in the halls of THA,  I whipped out a video I just so happened to record yesterday afternoon.  It was only fitting as we had been chatting about sassy mouths and ugly words.

Just before I recorded the video, I had taken the girls to the local book store to purchase a book.  I made it clear before going into the store that we would each buy one book.    We walked into Burry’s and immediately saw my sister, Kacy, also shopping.  (Don’t you just love small towns.)  MC ran to the back of the store to the children’s section, McCanless wandered to the youth area and I chatted with Kacy for a bit.  What happened in the next 20 minutes could definitely go down as one of those “mommy moments” that you would love to erase from history (or least from memory.)

Screaming at the top of her lungs, “I HATE YOU!”  “I WISH YOU WERE IN PRISON!”  (Yeah, not sure where that came from…) “I WISH YOU WOULD DIE!” echoing throughout the store, all aimed at me.  Mary Clare was letting me know exactly how she felt,  simply for my refusal to buy her a doll hair brush.

I smiled, ignoring the mini tornado in front of me,  and placed our books on the counter to make our purchases.  What made it all worse was the fact that the two sweet ladies behind the counter were friends of ours.  One, a neighbor and one, a family friend since I was a child.  They both had that wide-eyed “deer in headlights” look about them as they watched Mary Clare.

We finally  made it  to the car, at which point I realized she had completely lost it-with no going back.  So, I did what every 2014 mother does, I used my cell to video the whole debacle.

I’ll spare you the video, but I’m keeping that little jewel for when she’s older and her own daughter is driving her nuts.

Over the years, I’ve tried to blog about their awards, funny comments, sweet surprises and also those “not-so-great” moments. (I’m no perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination and I should probably blog about those moments more often to spare my girls future disasters in their own mothering days.)  More importantly, however, I wish to provide them with a history of losses before accomplishments, of bad days leading up to good days.  Those, I feel, are all moments that mold us.

As I watched my baby, my heart,  scream, struggle to breathe  and hate me in that moment, I wanted so badly to cave, to give her exactly what she wanted, to please her.  I knew that her anger was temporary and that the lesson that she was learning was so much more important than making her happy in that very moment.

It dawned on me.  Saying “no” now is easy in comparison.  I know that as my girls get older, these times will only increase.  I’ll watch them hurt, disappointed and make many mistakes.

Last night as she lay curled up around me in her little bed,  I read the pink princess book that I actually purchased for her at Burry’s yesterday.   She leaned in, kissed me and told me it was her favorite book ever.

I think I finally allowed myself to know that her disappointment was okay and not in vain.   I hate allowing my babies to cry.  I hate disappointing them.

I’m sure she’ll cry over much more than a doll hair brush and I know I’ll say, “no” again, and again and again.  I’ll question my actions, she’ll hate me again, and I’ll accept her hugs at the end of the day.  Always.

I hope she knows this now and forever.

 

Academic and Athletic Awards Ceremony 2014

4th grade Student Government Representative, Duke TIP, Class Leadership Award, All A’s, Perfect Attendance, Art Show Award,  Published Author, Literary Meet Participant…Not too shabby, McCanless!  We are so proud of you!!

Elementary Basketball Team and Cheerleading Participant

A pink and purple sail boat “crafted by” Mary Clare.

Sisters.  Ipads.  Texting.

This girl keeps me on my toes.

 

Child’s explanation of how he/she solved the problem:

“i am smrt”

Mary Clare

So, to explain:  Mary Clare likes sparkling grape juice.

The Four Squares

So, I’ll admit, a class assignment has brought me to the blog tonight.  (Thankfully, we are crazy busy living “normal” life these days.)

Mary Clare has a clothesline timeline to complete.  With only four small squares to document and illustrate her life, I turned to the best (only) journal I have, babypennington.com.

You know me.  I could write an entire book on all that she is and has achieved complete with dramatic-mom vision-details and lengthy anecdotes.

We have four little squares.

The assignment asks for four major milestones.  A sentence to be written about each with her age at the top.  Simple enough, I thought.

Until I actually thought.

Milestones.  Wow, does she ever have them.

Everyday I struggle with wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, “She’s different, you know!  She has accomplished more than most can or ever will in a lifetime!”

Sure, she’s having difficulty with reading, potty training and focus.  She has fine motor “issues” and gross motor “issues” and still has her paci.  Trust me, I’ve learned so much about patience with others who just don’t get it.  I bite my tongue.   I hold my opinions.  I smile and know that I’m probably the only person who will ever get it.  She’s my Mary Clare and like every other mother out there, I’ll go down defending and fighting for her til the bitter end.

She’s at an age where she’d rather not mention her surgeries.  Maybe she’ll grow out of it, maybe not.  Either way will be her way and I’ll respect that.

As we brainstormed her first square, I suggested she draw a picture of herself as a baby with her little half heart.  She could write, “I was born on June 27, 2007 and had heart surgery at 5 days old.”

I promise, I try REALLY hard to keep out of projects and school work.  I do.

What she did next is no surprise to me.  She did as only Mary Clare will and told me to back off.  It’s her project.

She would prefer to write about going to school with her cousin Reese.  Receiving her Barbie Dream house, playing with neighborhood friends at the pool last summer and taking her crown to school for show and tell last week.  Those are her 4 timeline ideas and that’s what we’ll go with.

My crafty mom heart just broke a tiny bit.

As she colorfully illustrated her lifeline, her way, I scrolled through the blog, my heart ached.  She has been intubated, paralyzed, sedated, on heart lung bypass and that was at only one week old.   She has endured surgeries, seizures, enough medication to make a grown man sleep and yet, she is held at the same standards at all other “normal” six-year-olds.  And you know what?  She does it.

I’d love to complete the 4 squares for her and plaster them on billboards.

1-I saw her beating, stitched, pieced-together heart in the flesh at 6 days old when her chest was kept open 24 hours for swelling.

2-I held her arms down while she screamed as three 1 inch tubes were pulled from her chest after each of her three open heart surgeries.

3-I held her blue body in my arms while she seized for the longest 10 minutes of my life.

4-I have watched her run and gasp for air as she struggled to keep up with her friends at 80% oxygen levels.  (Try running around your house three times holding your breath.  That’s what that feels like.)

But those are my squares.  Those are milestones for me.  Thankfully, she doesn’t remember any of those.  So, as profound as those memories are for me,  they do not define her.  Ironically, they are more about me.

So, crowns, and friends, Barbies and Reese it is.  I love my little Rock Star and all of her own little sassy, glittery milestones.

 

Go Hornets!

My heart secretly swells when I see my girls don a cheerleading uniform.  I know, I know.  I just can’t help it.  Some of my fondest memories are cheerleading practices in summers with my best friends.   No make-up, girls being girls, learning to be a team, learning to love each other and our sport.  I’m hoping that whatever they decide to pursue, they learn as much about life and friendship as I did on my own team.

So proud of this chick!  (I’ll admit, she wanted to quit her basketball team when she realized she was one of only two girls, but she stuck it out!)  This was a step up.  Away games versus other schools.  Not like the usual basketball clinic days of her first, second and third grade year.  Fourth grade plays with the big dogs.  Fourth, fifth and sixth graders are combined to form the “Elementary Team” that plays other schools in our area.   She started in most of the games.  (Not really because she’s that good.  Just because her coach is that good.)  She gained so much confidence and experience and I feel sure next year, she’ll actually attempt a basket!

Happy CHD Awareness Week!

SNOW 2014

 

 

Lot’s of snuggle time when the power was out!  (Everyone, including Bally, was cold and wanted to jump in Mommy and Daddy’s bed!)

 

Rosy cheeks!

“Snow Days” mean “Friend Days!”

How “lake kids” play in the snow!  (Tubing behind golf carts!)

To pass the time…make-overs!

…and movies!

…and a little karaoke in swimsuits.

McCanless

 

Ho! Ho! Ho!

2013 Mayor’s Tree Lighting Ceremony

This little dancer laughed her way through, “We Need a Little Christmas” with her petite dance team.  They were the youngest bunch but were, by far, the cutest!

Reese and MC after daddy counted down to light the Hartsville Christmas tree.

 

 

O Christmas Tree 2013

 

Winter 2013

McCanless made this on the back of a math sheet while doodling in class one day.   I just adore her creativity.

…and speaking of creativity, I was one proud mama when I walked down the hall one afternoon and realized that two out of the ten THA State Art Show entries were created by my babies.

Mary Clare is  proving to be quite the little artist, just like her big sister.

Thanksgiving 2013

At 11:00 am on Tuesday, I received a call from Mel.  It was smack-dab in the in the middle of the THA Annual Grandparent’s Day program.  “Delta called and said they were worried about the weather for our flight out tomorrow morning.  We need to fly out today at 3:00.”

Don’t you love the south in the winter?  I think the forecast for the following day was 40 degrees.

Of course, I hadn’t packed.  I spent the night before making 8 dozen cookies for the grandparent’s day program, and the day before that, cooking for the Woodham Thanksgiving dinner, and the day before that….

I’m a procrastinator anyway.  I work best under pressure.

I left the girls with grandparents and headed home, not bothering to tell the office I was leaving a bit early.  I threw clothes in bags, all the while singing “Run, Run Rudolph” (just like in the movie, Home Alone).  I grabbed the girls,  picked up Mel and we hit the road.

We were headed to catch a plane to Florida so we could catch a boat to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving!

First sighting of the massive Disney Dream!

While the boat was still docked in Florida, MC stripped down to her bikini and dove into the pool!  (There was a chilly breeze, but she had to swim!)

 

Our  state room, with a fabulous balcony!

…and dressing table, to get ready for those fancy dinners.  😉

On the top deck (on Goofy’s put-put course) overlooking Atlantis in the Bahamas.  (It was warm, but the skies were dark.)

Nothing that an endless supply of Mickey Ice Cream can’t fix!

Castaway Cay

Daddy and the girls writing post cards from Castaway Cay.

 

Woodturkey Throwdown 2013

We made it official.  Challenge accepted.

The Woodham Thanksgiving Cooking Match

 

Mary Clare decided to enter a massive pot of Pioneer Woman Mac & Cheese.  McCanless made a Buttermilk Pie, which tied for second place.  I made the best-ever asparagus appetizer, which was gobbled up before anyone knew what was even going on.   (That’s the sole reason I’m accepting defeat.  They were so scrumptious, they were gone before anyone remembers eating them.)   Mel planned to enter a Ruth’s cheeseburger, but was on-call and worked all day.  We missed him, but had a great time!  Congratulations, Kacy, your sweet potato praline casserole won the trophy THIS year!  You better watch your back next year!  Girl’s Team will own that trophy.

Always a party in Ashland, sequins and everything!

 

My heart

After a 24 hour Holter monitor test, we discovered that…

this girl, who has my heart,

has a perfectly imperfect heart

that is rockin’!

 

Spiders and Pumpkins and Fairs, Oh My!

Mary Clare’s take on spiders…

State Fair Fun

After the Haunted House ride with Aunt Kate

The faster, the higher, the better for my tiny thrill seeker!

Neighborhood Pumpkin Painting Party

Prestwood Annual Weenie Roast

Happy Birthday PaPa!

Annual K spider web in the cafeteria.  Apparently, little MC has quite an arm.

McBee Fall Festival

Twin BFFs

THA Halloween Carnival

My Sea Fairy was a Cake Walk Queen!

MC and Kate at school

MC was a princess-beauty-queen at school on Halloween.

We finally carved our pumpkin on Halloween day.

…then she was a sea fairy-princess-beauty queen for Trick-or-Treating.  (McCanless decided to be Sabrina, the teenage witch.)

Trick-or-Treat

Hello Fall!

First Day of 5K and 4th Grade at THA!

5K friends

New glasses for the new year!

Cooler evenings out in the country at Nonnie’s house, roasting marchmallows and hot dogs.

My smart Duke Tipper!  We were so proud to receive a letter that McCanless qualified for Duke Tip Program.

Hello Dance Season!

Happy Birthday, Leah!

School Days

Great check-ups at MUSC!

Red Fox games

Canned food drive at school (5K won!)

Hippopotamus Sandwich

Breakfast at Carolina Lunch

Laughs with Friends

So long summer…

 

Hiatus

Dead Girls Team,

Mom has been away from the blog because dad didn’t update it and fix it — Dad is fixing it.

Dad will be updating it very soon.  Mom is going to get back to writing her blog that she has kept diligently for nine years.

Thanks to everyone for your patience and for being great readers!

Mel

Camp Gwynn Valley 2013

McCanless went to Gwynn Valley in Brevard, NC this year for two weeks.  All summer long, she counted down the days until camp.

 

Little sister begged to stay.

She came home singing camp songs (over and over and over and over) and talking non-stop of all of her new friends and rock climbing, candle making, and camp outs.   I’m so proud of her! Two weeks was a breeze for her, but this mama was sad without her for so long.

We’ve pool’ed it, beach’ed it, theater camp’ed it.  Mel and I went to Utah.  McCanless went to camp.  MC took swimming lessons and we had a fantastic, and busy summer.

The girls have one last summer trip with Mimi to Hilton Head Island this week, then it’s back to the grind with school, dance and tumbling and homework.

5K and 4th grade and Library, here we come!   (Did I mention I’m heading back into the classroom this year?)  Actually, I’ll be in the library, so we’re all heading back to school!  Ready or not, here we come!

Summer 2013 so far…

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Life in the fast lane…

Well, I did it.  I let a month go by with no blog post.  For nine years that hasn’t happened. January 2004-June 2013  Oh well, there’s a first for everything, right? I’d like to blame my lack of blogging to the simple fact that our little family of four is simply busy living life.  No big heart surgeries, no cancer fighting, no big mayoral election.  Life by the pool, by the beach, with friends, art, church, neighbors, family, travel and a few doctor appointments thrown in there for good measure.  (It is our family I’m talking about.)

Life is busy.

Life is good.

 

 

Mother’s Day Weekend

2013

2013 Mother’s Day Program at school with my little elephant!

2012

2012 THA Mother’s Day Program-It was one year ago on the day of the Mother’s Day program that I finished all cancer treatments.  Immediately after the program, Mel, the girls and I drove to Columbia for my final radiation treatment.  He dropped me off at the door of SCOA and 15 minutes later, I walked out alone, completely finished with my journey.  It was wonderful.   It was an uneventful and most amazing feeling.  The funny thing is, I didn’t even realize it was my “One Year Cancer Free” date until several days later.  I’m way too busy in this year!

Portrait of Mommy by Mary Clare

After school we hit the road and headed to the beach with Nonnie, Kacy and Sullivan for the weekend.

Happy Mother’s Day!

We continue to daydream of Disney days…

I’ve been downloading the hundreds of photos I took, the hundreds that Disney took and the hundreds of cell photos Mel took.  What an amazing experience!

Easter 2013

Nonnie and the girls created a Easter garden this year.  It turned out beautifully and I’m certain it will be an annual event.

Especially since this big guy will surely love to dig in the dirt next year!

The girls team did lots of baking…

And the Easter bunny brought us all of our Summer essentials!

McCanless and three other boys sang a beautiful little song in church on Easter Sunday.  It was such a sweet little song, and I was so very proud of her. 

A fun Easter lunch at BB and Papa’s house

And a super loud, crazy, egg-hunt and dinner at Nonnie and Bubba’s house.

And lots of outside time, despite the chilly and wet weather.

The golf cart is out and ready for summer!  (and has a brand new driver!)  We’ve only had one call from an elderly (and quite concerned) neighborhood lady so far.  Not bad.

A few days at the beach…

This girl is a mermaid in disguise, I do believe.  She was thrilled to be at the beach.  Pure bliss.

Just a taste of wonderful, lazy summer days ahead.  We are so excited!  Happy Easter!

 

So, there seems to be a trend here.

Mel started this blog over nine years ago, when this whole “mom blogging” thing was new.  I quickly took over the reins and haven’t looked back.  Well, except for the times I do just that, look back.  There are many months with numerous posts of mommy tales, girls team stories and loads of photos.  There are months of strictly heart-felt, pouring-my-soul-out, sappy posts.

My blog visitor rates are quite interesting.  They vary from 3,000+ individual visitors a day to one (hi, mom).  It’s typically in those “tough for me” months that the blog sees more visitors.  Those times that extra encouragement was such a blessing to me.

I certainly love looking back over the years and remembering moments.  I hope my girls do, too.  I’ve not let a single month go by without at least one post.  Some months, like March 2013 are (ahem) skinny, I’ll admit, but its usually those months that things are rolling along rather smoothly.

The trend is simple.  Less posts mean “normal” chaos, as opposed to “dramatic” chaos.

So, without further adieu, may I give a brief update of our little family, in the event that someone still reads my blog, other than my mother.

As I sit and type, McCanless is draped across the chair to my left with her Dr. Dre Beats (fancy headphones) and her Ipad.  (She hates to be alone and will do whatever it takes to be amidst others.)  She’s in her skinny jeans, one sock, one bare foot and  a turquoise and neon t-shirt.  She’s certainly grown into a little (pre-middle school) lady, especially after countless of mornings arguing over what shirt wasn’t too tight or too loose, what pants were perfect and seamless.  All of those mornings I begged her to just wear whatever would make her happy.  (I still say the same to her every morning-and some mornings are more pleasant than others-but typically, she gets it together rather well and doesn’t look like a ragamuffin (too often).  Whew.  Only took nine years.)

She’s quite sincere, extremely thoughtful and sensitive.  She’s a touchy-feely-needs-lots-of-hugs kind of person, much like her daddy and can play basketball like nobody’s business.  (From her mother’s perspective, of course.)

She’s an extremely talented writer.

Mom always told me that I was born 30.  I think McCanless was too.  Most days, she has wisdom well beyond her years.  She would rather die than upset a teacher (not the case in her attitude toward me) and continues to make all A’s.  She’s easy when it comes to knowing that she’ll get things done for school, but leaves a trail behind her at home.  I’m constantly asking her to close the fridge door, flush the toilet, pick up the four pairs of her shoes in the den, find her book bag, find her book.  I imagine that will only get worse.

She adores her little sister, but forgets sometimes that she’s much bigger than Mary Clare.  They don’t argue often, but when McCanless has had enough tormenting and taunting from baby sister, I typically have to step in and separate them.  McCanless has no idea how strong she is and Mary Clare wouldn’t back down if her life depended on it.

These days McCanless, or “Cannie” as most everyone at school calls her, is spending more time in the bathroom every morning, spraying her glittery-smelly spray all over herself and brushing her hair.  I asked her last night who her first kiss would be and without hesitation, she said Grayson Moyd, when she’s 16, and she promises to tell me when it happens.  (wink)

Mary Clare keeps me laughing every day with her quick wit and amazing sense of humor.  She definitely gets that from her daddy.  She’s fiercely independent and quite a handful at school.  She’s pretty “easy” for me and maybe that’s because she’s my second child; maybe I’m more patient with her; maybe its’ because she’s my baby; maybe I just “get” her.  Who knows?

She’s the child I have to remind to walk.  “Open the car door, Mary Clare, get out, Mary Clare, come on, walk with us, Mary Clare, hold my hand, Mary Clare.”  Her head is usually in the clouds and I’m certain it’s not that she’s intentionally ignoring the world around her, it’s just that she’s so engrossed in her own world of thoughts, she has little time for the real world.  She sees what most don’t allow themselves to see. Her imagination and creativity are simply amazing.

She loves to play alone in her room with her dolls and Barbies and would do so for hours.  She is still obsessed with all things pink and princess and girly and glittery and laughs so often.  She gets in silly moods and will laugh until she drops from exhaustion.

She has mad puzzle skills.

She adores our neighbor friends, the Nutts, especially their two daughters, Kaiti and Ann Frances.  We often check the Nutts house first if we can’t find her.  No matter how often we threaten, if she’s determined to go for a visit she does it.   That’s the thing about my little MC.  She’s a determined little person.  No one can stop her and I love that little spunk.  (As much as that same little spark infuriates me sometimes, I’m so glad it’s a part of who she is.)

I still can’t believe Mel and I have a nine-year-old and a five-year-old.  On May 19th, we will have been married for 12 years and life couldn’t be sweeter.  Our house still isn’t quite back to normal after our fall renovations and we have much to work on in the yard.  It seems lately; however, it doesn’t bother me as much as it once did-these unfinished, and insignificant projects.

He is planning his re-election kick-off soon and I’m counting down the days until Summer Break!  (Our golf cart is in the shop getting spruced up for a busy summer.)  We are looking forward to sunshine, beach days, lazy summer mornings

and quite possibly time for more frequent mommy-blogging.

Heart Day so far…

We’ve already had an eventful Valentine’s Day and it’s not even lunch!

This morning the girls dressed up for the THA Annual School-Wide Valentine’s Day dance.  It’s so cute!  All students, grades 3K-8th grade,  look forward to this day for weeks.  The girls and boys doll-up and have a ball dancing with each other and their teachers.  Mary Clare insisted on wearing “high-heels,” so we searched until we found them!  Who knew baby-heels could be found?

Last night, Mel surprised me us with a Sonos wireless music system for our house!  I woke up this morning to 50 Cent serenading me with “P.I.M.P.”  (Don’t ask me why Mel has that in his iTunes.)   So, as I frantically got two girls ready for a somewhat formal event (curling hair, teaching how to walk in heels, figuring out how to keep them WARM), Mel blasted everything from Taylor Swift’s,  “Love Story” to the Go Go’s, “Vacation” to Phish’s, “Bouncing Around the Room.”

 

Spring Fever

Oh, Summer, where are you?  This Spring-like weather lately is giving us spring/summer fever, big time!

Make-A-Wish South Carolina

Yesterday, Mary Clare was a Princess-for-a-Day, and while that may be the case most days, this was a extra special day for us, too.

Each year, the Student Council of West Florence High School raises money for Make-A-Wish Foundation of SC.  They set a goal and ask Make-A-Wish to provide a “poster child” to help students connect to the organization on a more personal level.  Mary Clare was just the Princess they needed this year.

As we entered the tall foyer of the school, we immediately saw a display fit for a Pinkalicious Princess and knew it was for our own MC.  Her picture was displayed on walls and pink balloons were everywhere.  We were immediately greeted by bubbly high school girls “oohing” and “ahhing” over Mary Clare, who didn’t skip a beat.  Mel and I could have left the building at that point.

After a student-led ceremony, she accepted a check on behalf of Make-A-Wish Foundation for $5,500 from the students at West Florence and a matching check from Trusted Choice of South Carolina.   $11,000 for Make-A-Wish South Carolina will bring so much happiness to many deserving children.  We were honored to be asked to be a part of it all.

Of course, Mary Clare loved the attention from all of the pretty girls and silly high school boys.  I honestly believe she’s never had so many cell phone photos taken of her.  (And we all know how photographed she is!)

We were certainly honored and humbled to have been asked to accept the generous donations on behalf of such an amazing organization.  We know first hand what an impact Make-A-Wish makes in the lives of children and their families.

 

 

 

Tomorrow is National Wear Red Day honoring those with CHD

And we are wearing red for these two sweethearts!

N-I-N-E

McCanless knows my obsession with parties and planning, and apparently I’ve rubbed off on her.  My girls have quite strong personalities and I take what they want to do and run with it…as long as they like it.  This skating party, however, was completely McCanless’s idea. We got busy over break tie-dying and tying tulle for tutus.  This week, she marched herself right into our local bakery and drew a diagram of the two-tiered box cake with a hot pink bow on top and pink and purple and lime green polka dots.  She created a menu of hot dogs with chili, chips and grape skewers.  I’m so proud of my 9-year-old little party-planner.

Everyone had so much fun!  Adults and kids…and no broken bones!  (Although, I’m sure a few of the, ahem, older guests feel like they have broken bones today!)  It was a magical night for my sweet McCanless.  She kept saying her party was the best party ever!

Happy 2013

“Look Mom, I’m gonna work at the Japanese restaurant.”

After Mary Clare tried her hand at a little Japanese utensil toss, she and I made cake balls.  Pink cake and pink icing, of course.  We did coat them in white chocolate with silver sprinkles to give them a New Year’s feel.  (You can’t always have pink everything.)

You’ll find no Germ-X in this house.  And yes, we lick spoons and bowls.

After a good bowl-licking, MC decided to get all dressed up for a New Year’s celebration.

We ventured to Bow Thai Kitchen downtown and the four of us had a nice not-so-quiet dinner out.   Nothing like ringing in the new year with three of my favorite people in the world.   We were all in the bed by 11:00; however, I was awakened by a loudly shouted countdown-to-midnight by McCanless.  She was in the den alone but I could hear the NYC Times Square crowd shouting with her.  She came running into my bedroom, glared down at me and shouted, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  Mom, the ball dropped and I’ve been dancing and I counted down and I just watched Taylor Swift and it’s 2013 and …….” she goes on and on until I drifted back to sleep.

My how times have changed.

Cheers to an exciting 2013!

My prayer for the new year

After such a reflective season’s passing, and many days spent with family, I know I’ve thanked God numerous times for our many blessings of family, health and prosperity.  I’ll admit, however, most of those prayers have been spoken hundreds, if not thousands of times.  Repeated. Rehearsed.  Routine.

Those moments that throw me back into times of complete despair are when I utter my most heart-felt words to my precious Christ.  I’m not proud of that-the fact that it takes such magnitude for my prayers to be real, raw and honest.   I think my new year’s resolution will be to pray with the fervent heart of my most trying times.

Tonight, Mary Clare and I were watching a movie on her iPad.  It was plugged into the kitchen wall, charging and I suggested we move to her bedroom.  She grabbed the iPad.  I grabbed the cord.  As we slowly walked into her room, she said, “Mom, this is just like when I was in the hospital and you carried my boxes. Remember?”

A suffocating memory crept into my chest.

I have no idea how much she remembers from her surgeries.  When I ask her, she always mentions her “cast,” which was a wrap of tape on her arm covering her IV.  I’m almost happy that of the months in the hospital and many procedures she has endured, a small IV is what she remembers most.  Sometimes she’ll remember the Atrium and specific toys with which she played.  Tonight she remembered being connected to her chest drainage “boxes.”

After her third open heart surgery, she had three tubes sutured into her chest which left their marks.  Other than the tell-tale zipper down her chest, these are the most prominent scars on her tiny body, two quarter sized scars where the tubes once captured fluid that drained from her chest.  The tubes were connected to collection chambers.  These two “boxes” were beside her bed, followed us to the Atrium, were with her day and night for weeks.  She has never spoken of them until tonight.

There are two memories, specifically, that bring about insurmountable pain, probably two of my darkest hours.  During these moments, I cried out with every ounce of my being.  I prayed with all that I am.

One of those memories was when Mary Clare’s drain tubes were being removed.  Hearing her screams brought a feeling of complete and utter helplessness, fear and anger.  I couldn’t take away the immense physical pain she endured.  It was necessary.  I begged God to give me the pain.  I prayed that she would remember nothing of it.  I prayed that she not hate me for allowing it to happen.  And honestly, I prayed for God to forgive me for hating him at that moment.

I was earnestly praying.

Another one of those memories was on the night of Mary Clare’s birth, June 27, 2007.

Mel was on a work conference call away from the hospital.  I walked from the maternity ward to PCIUC, where my sweet newborn was sleeping.  A few hours passed.  I relished in my time with her, breathing in her sweet breath, noticing every little wrinkle and admiring her tiny pink bow that Joy, her kind nurse,  placed in her hair.  Just before I kissed her goodnight and headed back to my room, I heard an alarm sound.  Immediately, I was alone, crouched in the hallway outside of the PCICU doors.  She coded and I had no idea if I would see my baby girl alive again.

I was so angry, sad, and confused, but I prayed.  I don’t even remember how long I was in the hallway.  I know I wept and  kept repeating, “Your Will be done. Your Will be done.”  It was a time that I  prayed for nothing and everything at once.  I didn’t see her awake until after her surgery 5 days later. I was helpless, scared and angry.

I earnestly prayed.

As life goes on and time heals, I find myself recalling those memories less and less.  Memories that have changed me, that define me, that shake me up.  I’m not sure how much Mary Clare will remember of her young life and honestly, I hope that as she grows she’ll not remember, only read about them here.  But those are two moments of many that I can pinpoint relying entirely on God to breathe, to move, to make it one step further; moments that I poured my soul into his.

Moments that I am thankful for.

Thank you, God, for bringing me to my knees tonight and for reminding me to pray fervently without hesitation.  Always.

Mary Clare blowing bubbles

Yep, we’re alive…

We’ve survived returning from an 8-day trip to Disney, moving back into our house, Nutcracker rehearsals and a four performance weekend-all within a week.   Needless to say, I’m a bit busy and the blog is taking a back seat to everything, as is the Christmas tree, laundry and spelling.  We’re slowly getting things back in order with the house.  (You realize Mel and I have never moved, so this is all new. Having boxes and frames all piled in our dining room is driving me nuts.)

But,

we are in our newly renovated 1930’s creek cottage.  I knew it would be a difficult process when we began telling others that we were renovating.  They would all look at me wide-eyed and with a look of complete despair, as if they wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  The process wasn’t difficult for us.  It’s the ‘moving back in and getting everything put away and FINISHED’ part that’s killing me.  We still have a long way to go.

But,

we are in.  And as soon as I don’t have to leap over boxes to get through the dining room, I’ll get around to posting our amazing Disney pictures!

Make-A-Wish Disney Trip

 

Color Run 5K 2012-Team Pinkalicious

Happy Halloween 2012

 

 

 

Updates…


The Hair:  My hair is still growing.  It’s still wavy and still dark.  (I’m growing used to the fact that I’m officially,  the “odd girl out” in my family.  I’m okay with that.  I match “Bubba,” my dad.)

The House:  We are wearing out our welcome still at Mimi and Bapa’s house.  If Mel tells me one more time that we’ll be in our house in a week, I think I’ll scream.

The limestone for the girls bathroom floor will be in a herringbone pattern.

We decided on walnut hardwood floors. (This photo is before staining/finishing.) This is our bedroom looking into our bathroom.

These two are just a little excited about their new PINK room!

It’s Fall Y’all!

McLeod Farms Fall Festival

2012 THA Halloween Carnival

McCanless’s winning poster design!

Madame Fortune Teller explained to Mary Clare that she would either live in Boston or Columbia, SC.

13.1

On Monday, October 24, 2011, I traveled to Columbia with three girl friends to my third chemotherapy treatment.

On Sunday, October 21st, 2012 I ran my first half-marathon with one of those girls.  A girl I’ve known since third grade.

I did it because Lee dared me to do it and was crazy enough to think that we could.

I did it to prove to my girls that cancer does not define someone.  It isn’t a sign of weakness.

I did it because I knew I could.

 

I was #1,608 of 2,251 runners.  No too shabby for 10 months post chemo!

 

Mary Clare, Soccer Super Star

 

 

Reminders

Yesterday, as I unbuckled Mary Clare from her car seat, I brushed her blonde hair aside to straighten the shoulder straps.   As she leaned to help me, I noticed them.  She was positioned just right and the sun hit her face and neck so that I could see the tiny marks on her neck, invisible to most.  Only I would notice.  Only I would know what they are.

Her tiny body has been through so much and thankfully she doesn’t remember most of it.  What is left behind are the scars of her fight.

The tiny scars on her neck are from central IV lines.  She has various marks and scars all over her body from years of hospital admittances and three open-heart surgeries.  Her claim to fame and tell-tale “zipper” are quite obvious and she has no qualms about her little half-heart.  She will tell just about anyone who will listen that she does, in fact, have a broken heart.  She’s quite proud.

Everyday life gets in the way, and I often forget about my little girl’s fragile heart.  I watch her play soccer and take gymnastics.  I fuss with her about leaving her Barbie clothes all over the place.  She rolls her eyes at me, trying to be like her big sister, and she has tantrums.  She sneaks into our bed at night after McCanless has fallen asleep.  She never leaves her braids or ponytails in her hair and would eat candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I allowed it.

Five and half years ago, I dreamed of this.

I could only pray for one milestone for her.  Birth. I asked God to please allow me to see her face once.

It seemed too much to ask for her survival, for her to even thrive.  I prayed over and over, “Your Will be done.  Your Will be done.”

It is what got me through every moment.  Every day.

Tonight, I sent an email to a new “heart mom.”  A friend of a friend, and Hartsville family, too.  I was thrown back into all of those emotions and memories of what seems like forever ago.  She will have her first child in January, a baby boy with HLHS.

It is a journey that will take every ounce of courage and strength you have, but it will also teach you more about God and life than you can ever imagine.   Thank you, Jennifer, for allowing me to share Mary Clare with you and for another little reminder to thank God for everything that she has given us.

Sparkle

McCanless asked once again, like she does every other week or so, expecting the same answer.

“So, Clare Bear, want to get your ears pierced?”

We were on our way home from a beach weekend with just Daddy and the Girls Team.  I guess with time in the car, McCanless ponders those important things in life that 8-year-olds think about.   When exactly would Mary Clare say yes?  Typically, MC presses her lips in a fine line, crosses her arms and refuses to even talk about it, answering, “NEVER!”

That’s why I’m still in shock about this.

“Mom allowed me to get my ears pierced when I was five.”  “You should so get your ears pierced.”  “We can share earrings and get lots of big sparkly earrings!”  (I think McCanless was six, but either way, I didn’t want to do it then either.)  Obviously, I have two girls who adore all things sparkly.  I can handle glitter hair, costumes, sequin jewelry even.    I do, however, draw the line at “long” earrings, or “hang down” earrings, as my girls say.  This natural obsession is rather ironic because I can honestly count on one hand how many pairs of earrings I own, and honestly, six out of seven days, I have on my standard pearls.

Big daddy pulled into the closest Belk he could find and when I asked him what in the world he was doing, he replied, “Don’t you go to the make-up counter to get this done?”

“Get what done?”

“Didn’t you hear her?  She said, yes.  MC wants earrings.  I’m taking her now.”

An hour and a half later, much closer to home and after plenty of time to back-down, we drove up to the Florence Mall.  Claire’s Boutique was the only place I knew of that would do this on a Sunday, and after I  asked no less than 300 times if she was sure and explained the process at length (needles, pain, maybe blood, the whole nine yards), she was more determined than ever to actually go through with it.  I even told Mel we should probably wait and ask her doctors.  He looked at me as if I had completely lost my mind.

My Mary Clare wanted real earrings and it would happen whether I was ready for it or not.

She climbed up into the tall stool and chose the sparkliest diamond earrings she could find on the “Beginning Stud” display.  McCanless was beside herself, excited.  (I silently told the young girl to down size them.  I tried to convince her to get the teeny, tiny gold balls, to no avail.  Bling it was.)

She smiled and watched wide-eyed, as two young girls pierced her ears.  I held my breath waiting for the tears.  Honestly, I just knew she was going to be furious with us once she felt it.

Just like that.  It was over.

She never hesitated.  Never frowned.  Nothing.  She jumped up and ran to the mirror to see, then happily chose two dozen cheesy multi-colored cupcake studs for her jewelry box.

I was in disbelief.  She was such a big girl and didn’t shed one single tear.  I, on the other hand, was an emotion wreck and a blubbering mess.  Not sure if it was the realization that my sweet baby is getting to be such a big girl, or something else.

This girl, who has been through so much,

this baby, who continues to defy odds,  and who teaches me so much, simply takes my breath away.

The big milestones, the everyday milestones, even sparkly diamond studded ones, remind me to thank God for each and every single moment.

Here goes nothin’

So, they say when you put it out there, you’re held accountable.

I realize I typically don’t post all that Mama and Daddy are up to (i.e. social events, moms-only weekends, nights-out sans girls team-we do have a life outside of you two girls, I just don’t share it on your blog-I’m sure you’ll be scouring my Facebook page in the near future anyway and will see for yourself.)  I do, however, post those big ticket items like Dad becoming mayor, Mommy’s cancer, etc. in hopes that you will learn and grow from our experiences.  There are also those few little events I like to post for posterity, just because.  One day, I’d like to think that my girls just might be interested in what their parents did, outside of child rearing, of course.

This isn’t really a big ticket item for some, but for me, it’s huge.

I plan will run a half-marathon in October.

There, I said it.  Now, I have to do it.

Remember back in June, I ran a 5K with one of my oldest and dearest friends, Lee?  Prior to that, on January 13th, 2012 I decided to use a Couch-to-5K program to get chemo drugs out of my body and get myself back into shape.  I finished my last treatment on December 28, I had a lumpectomy in January, radiation in February and March and started the Couch to 5K in April.  I was able to run the entire June 2012 Hartsville Lickety Split 5K, without stopping.  I finished in 31 minutes, but I did it.  I had a huge smile crossing the finish line and tears running down my face.

Lee had never run a 5K, and only did it after I guilted her into it I think!  (I pulled the cancer card on that one.)  I’m so glad I did, because now, she’s a running feen.  She’s now convincing me that I can actually run a half-marathon with her.  (Rather, she’s crazy enough to think that we can pull this off.)

We are both on week 8  of a 13 week half-marathon training program.  The cool thing about that is that it’s a “13.1 for PINK” app, with a portion of the cost donated to breast cancer research. (Don’t you love iPhones?)  It’s a run/walk interval running program.  We are both at the stage where we are consistently running 4:1s (that’s interval talk for run four minutes and walk one).  Yesterday, I ran 6 miles.

Yeah, that’s crazy to say too.  I could have never imagined myself being able to do that a few years ago.

Tomorrow is a long run for me and I hope to run 10 miles.

And that’s even more insane to think about.  I think once I run the 10 miler, I’ll finally register for the half marathon.  Or pass out, which ever comes first.  I’m still a bit skeptical, and Lee has to constantly remind me of how far we’ve come, but deep inside, I know I can do it.

Know how?

As I run, I listen to the constant in and out of my deep breaths.  I think about how my baby girl has struggled for 5 years, simply to breathe.  She’s laughed, danced, and played hard for as long as she has been alive, and never once complained.  Her cardiologist once told me to hold my breath and run around my house.  That’s what it has been like for her for five years.   So, as I run, I think of how easy it is for me and how hard it has been for her.  I should never complain.

If she can do it, I can do it.

So there. It’s out there.  I will run that half-marathon if it kills me.

It’s the least I can do.

Besides, what’s a little half-marathon when you’ve already taken down cancer?  (wink)

 

 

 

Labor Day Weekend

While drywall was going up in our house,

the girls’ team was busy at the beach!

It’s how we roll

A conversation between my hubby and me last Friday night went something like this:

Mel: So, did I tell you the builder starts on Monday?

Me: The builder you met with today?  As in today is Friday and we pack the entire house up and move out somewhere by Sunday?

Mel:   Yeah, I can ask Mom if we can move in.  I’m working all weekend.

 

So, last week we started school, dance, gymnastics, moved out, packed up the entire house, moved in with Mimi and Bapa and gutted the house.

This week, while the house renovations move at record speed, MC has her heart cath.

 

I’m just holding my breath waiting for Mel to tell me he’s decided to open a sandwich shop or something.

 

 

Last Step

We are in our favorite city (outside of Hartsville, of course) and we’ve settled into our typical MUSC routine quite nicely already.  It’s amazing how it all comes back to you.  We knew we’d only be admitted for a short while, but I guess as creatures of habit, we’ve hardly missed a beat.  We wake, order MC’s breakfast, shower, check out morning plan (echo, chest x-ray, etc.), visit Atruium, take meds, get on computer and update website, order lunch, etc.

We’ve had visits from some of our long-time nurse friends, Laura, Joy, and Brenna.  Joy was Mary Clare’s very first nurse in PCICU after birth. We laughed together last night remembering how she had to use gel to stick a tiny pink bow to Mary Clare’s head.  Mel has also had fun joking around with (tormenting) a few of the docs that have followed MC.  Dr. Hlavacek, who did my fetal ultrasound diagnosing her HLHS, Dr. Hamilton Baker, who has been her cardiologist and yesterday performed her cath, Dr. Andy Atz, who has followed and researched MC’s case since birth and of course, Dr. Geoff Forbus, MC primary cardiologist.  They’ve all become our friends.

MC had a scheduled heart cath yesterday.  She also had her fenestration closure.  And once again, in my non-medical terminology, I’ll try to explain it.  (I actually listened as Mel explained it yesterday to a friend and he did quite well.  I should have him do this.)  So, a fenestration is a hole intentionally left in the heart after the Fontan procedure.  The new circulation after her Fontan created added pressure, in which her little heart and body weren’t quite ready for.  Dr. Bradley left the fenestration (hole) to release some of that pressure with plans to close it when her body was ready.  Generally, this procedure is done about a year after surgery. We have been a tad busy this year, so it’s been 18 months for MC.

MC placed her EEG stickers on Daddy’s face.

MC laughing at her “Fuzzy Little Caterpillar” after taking her “Happy Juice” (Versed) before they wheeled her back.

This is where it hits me.  Every time.

The amazing thing is how they actually “plug the hole.”  We were shown a sample device exactly like the one that was used in MC’s heart. (Mel is stretching it apart in the photo above.  It can actually stretch out into a tiny tube.)  It’s made of mesh and metal material.  It’s threaded through the cath tube and popped into place. Once it’s where it needs to be, they release it and it flattens.  Tissue will eventually grow over the mesh material, making a tight seal.  That’s just crazy to me.  Right now some blood flows through the mesh material, creating a tad of mixture of O2 rich and O2 poor blood.  Still, her Oxygen saturation levels were in the mid 90’s.  She’s never had levels so high!  Once tissue grows over the patch and completely seals off the fenestration, she’ll have even higher levels!!  I hope Ms. Chure is ready for a higher energy Mary Clare.

How many nurses does it take to help Daddy?  Daddy nearly fainted as the nurses tried (using an infant needle, I think) to draw a tiny vile of blood for genetic research.  Mel and I have been participating in research studies since Mary Clare’s birth.  We realize that the information gathered may not help Mary Clare now, but we feel sure that one day CHDs will be a thing of the past and findings may help her future.  My grandfather had a blue baby over 50 years ago.  He selflessly gave his son’s body to be used for research. The knowledge and information gained from Mary Clare’s great uncle helped discover ways for her to live and thrive.  I know it makes a difference.

(A note to MC from McCanless)

This morning, we were invited to Camp Rise Above in the Atrium.  MC walked into the familiar playroom a bit timid.  Once she met the smiling faces of the staff and saw the activities waiting for her, she took off with her telemetry monitor dragging behind her detaching a few leads as she ran.

As we sat and played with the doll house, I noticed several other children.  One little girl clearly going through chemo, another tethered to an IV pole.  And while Mary Clare had a long day yesterday, she was feeling fine today with only leads and IV to show for her time here.  Memories and emotions came flooding.  Images of my three year old  barely able to hold her head up, sitting in her wagon trying to paint in this very room filled my mind.  I thought of the very night we were air lifted after seizures, we came to the Atrium to wait on Daddy.  As an infant, I walked her into this room to see the bright sunshine and listen to the older children’s laughs.  Amazingly, today Mary Clare was the healthier one. The Atrium has watched her grow and heal.  It has made this life of hers normal.  We had to drag her away kicking and screaming to get her echo, promising to return later.  Not too long ago, I dreamed of her having the energy to be able to do that.

So, this one last step of her Fontan is complete.  It’s a rather odd, but amazing feeling.  What a miracle my sweet girl is.

First Day of School 2012

 

 

 

 

 

The Chosen One

I have read five bed-time books, tucked and tucked and tucked the girls into bed.  We have flowers in vases waiting for teachers, new outfits chosen and lunches packed and waiting in the fridge.  Tomorrow is the first day of school, and it looks like it may be a long day, as it’s 10 pm and I still hear the girls whispering and giggling in their room.

McCanless is just beside herself with excitement.  She can barely contain herself.  She has been squealing since we completed her Summer reading papers today at exactly 4:30.  (Nothing like waiting until last minute.)  She read, “The Lemonade War” and “Mr. Popper’s Penguins” and completed two very detailed drawings and “reports” on her favorite scenes and characters.  Not surprisingly, her favorite part of the assignment was illustrating the papers.

Mary Clare is pleased as punch that she has been chosen as Ms. Chure’s special helper this year.  This summer after having a long conversation with Daddy, she excitedly explained to me, “Mom!  Dad says that Ms. Chure has chosen me and ONLY me to stay with her in 4K!!  I’m the only one that gets to stay!”

I’m so glad she has her Daddy’s confidence.

We decided last year that we would have her repeat 4K simply because we want to give her every opportunity to succeed.  She’s had a rough go the last 5 years.  With a late birthday and a bit of catching up to do, both emotionally and physically, we thought it would only be good for her.  We adore her 4K teacher, Ms. Chure, and are thrilled to watch her learn and grow even more this year with her.

So tomorrow, I’ll pack my girls up for yet another year of school.  I’ll have a third grader and a 4Ker!  Where does the time go?

Today

Today was our first teacher workday at school.

The girls had a playdate with Mimi.

When I got home,

we played outside,

we cooked,

we had a fashion show in the den,

we visited with neighborhood BFFs.

I bathed the girls and tucked them into bed and hopped on the treadmill.

Daddy came home after his meeting and crashed with MC in her little twin bed.

He wanted a few snuggles.

Today was a busy, soon-to-be back to school late summer day.

Today, last year, I was told I had cancer.

Today, I’m cancer free.

Sweet Sweet Summer…

with lots of lazy mornings and afternoons with time to play

too much sun

trouble times two

too many birthday parties with too many sprinkles

sometimes too much downtime for Daddy

These photos were taken on a spontaneous trip to Carowinds.  I pulled into the driveway on a Sunday afternoon (after a Mommies-only weekend)  to find Daddy and the girls team sitting in his car, ready to roll.  We headed to Carowinds for an afternoon of water slides and park rides.   (Good thing he didn’t tell me where we were going until half way there.  I may not have agreed.)

Cheers to a few more weeks of quiet, early morning coffee on my porch with no interruptions.  We do love summer around here.

Sullivan Thomas

The girls team has a new cousin in town.  (Literally)  My girls are thrilled to announce the birth of their new baby cousin, Sullivan Thomas, on July 9th, 2012.  Sullivan’s mom and dad, my sister and brother-in-law, also moved a few hundred yards from us this summer, too;  so to say the girls are excited is a huge understatement!  We’ve loved having them right around the corner and can’t wait to be able to teach Sully all about Barbies and costumes!

Remember this face?  It’s Sully’s older “sister,” Coker, who has a special heart.  She’s back home!  (Coker is the stray puppy with a heart defect that the girls and I found in our neighborhood in March 2011, just before Mary Clare’s third open-heart surgery.  Coker went to stay with my sister and brother-in-law out of town while we were in Charleston, and they immediately fell in love with her.  Once we were home, recovering and learning to cope with Mary Clare’s new diagnosis of Epilepsy, we knew we couldn’t give Coker the care and attention she deserved and needed.  (One heart baby per household for us.)  She’s found the perfect family, and will now grow up with Sully.  She has not needed heart surgery yet, but is doing well on Enalapril, twice daily.  (Which is a medication used to treat high blood pressure and heart failure.  It’s the same medication Mary Clare was on for so many years!)

Welcome Kacy, William and baby Sully and welcome back, Coker!  We love you all very much!

Who needs a diving lesson?

Apparently, not little sister.  After listening to McCanless explain the art of diving, she was ready to take off on her own.  She simply didn’t have the patience to wait for her own lesson and literally dove right in.

Happy 4th of July!

The Beginning

July 5th, 2007  Mel wrote, “Today we are beginning what they refer to as ‘Pap trials’ where she tries to breath on her own for short periods of time. She has tremors which they assure us is completely normal although it is rather uncomfortable for a parent to sit and watch. She is slowly coming off of her meds over the next day or so and we hope to be off the vent tomorrow night if she continues on the track were on right now.

We haven’t been able to spend as much time as we would like today because they keep bringing in new patients from the O.R. and we have to be out for the hour that they stabilize them.

Mary Clare is opening her eyes from time to time and yawned once today. She is sleeping most of the time and she has been holding daddy’s finger today.”

……….

The 4th of July will always mark a huge milestone.  It was the the night Mary Clare’s chest was closed and healing began.

When we learned of Mary Clare’s special heart, I knew we had a very long road ahead of us.  It was the fall of 2006 and it wasn’t until the 5th of July 2007, that I allowed myself to breath and accept that my baby girl could actually make it.  Sure, prior to that date, I told myself that she would be fine and HLHS babies survive and thrive every day.  Certainly my baby would be one of those few who do so well throughout infancy and toddler years and grow to be a beautiful little girl.

In all honesty, however, I never allowed myself to really believe it.  I guess it was a defense mechanism for to me face the odds and accept that I may be a mother to an angel baby.  I wasn’t okay with that, but I believed that.

On the night of July 4th, 2007, two days after the most difficult surgery our baby would ever face,  Mel and I strolled through the streets of Charleston, only pulling ourselves away from MUSC after we were asked to step out of PCICU as the surgical team closed Mary Clare’s chest.  Hand in hand, we listened as fireworks exploded around us.  We fantasized about having our family of four together next July 4th. We ducked into a little shop off of King street and stoically shared a pizza.

We never left Mary Clare’s side after that night.  We vowed that one of us would be with her for her every waking moment.  When she awoke the following morning, it was the first time she would have been awake since the night of her birth.

Seeing her open her eyes confirmed what every mother feels the moment they hold their newborn, fierce devotion.  She was mine, even if only for a moment.  This baby of mine, whom I had never held in my arms, was here with me now. I was chosen to be her mother and I loved her with every ounce of my being, how ever long that may be.

I would hold her in my arms for the very first time on July 10, 2007, thirteen excruciating days after her birth.  Images of her intubated and sedated, wrapped in lines, wires and tubes haunt me still.  Tears fill my eyes even now as I remember the familiar sounds and faces of the PCICU.  My beloved PCICU, where our baby spent her first several weeks, where she was baptized, where we sat countless hours praying and hoping for miracles.

July 5th began a time of renewed excitement and uplifting hope.  I began to tell myself that she would survive.  She would thrive and walk and dance and laugh.   She would attend kindergarten and she would grow to learn of her special heart and show others that odds can be beat.  Miracles do happen.

It was the beginning for my spunky little firecracker, my special half-heart little girl.

 

My Girls

Bring on Year 5

Happy Birthday, Little Firecracker!

A little rain, and lightening and thunder didn’t ruin this little firecracker’s 5th birthday pool party.

We simply packed up the fireworks and hot dogs and headed indoors.

Loves

Summer

 

Happy 5th Birthday, sweet Mary Clare!

 

It amazes me that I have actually kept up with this blog for 8 1/2 years.  Mel created it and actually wrote the very first entries, promising me that he would be a frequent writer. (I can probably count on one hand how many entries he’s actually written.)  I would have never guessed in a million years all of the topics I’d cover.   Sure, I knew this blog would see McCanless grow and maybe add a sibling along the way, including photos of all of their firsts, family vacations, and memories.

What began as a brag book of sorts morphed into a very real outlet for me.  A place to sort out life and vent to world.   I’m a very private person.

Ironic, I know.

This blog has been my solace, my release.  I can only hope that one day, as McCanless and Mary Clare read my words, they know that it isn’t only what I’m saying, but what so many people have read, others who have loved and prayed for them over the years.

This blog parallels life.  Ebb and flow.  Some months, my entries are filled with certain struggle. Words come often and easily, sorting out complications, conflicts.  Other months, life is busy.  Days slipping away so quickly, leaving little time for thought.  These are the months I treasure most.  I should probably write more during these months to savor the fun and chaos of our young family.

Tonight, as I sit and try to consume all that this blog represents and all that it has seen, I hear giggles from the girls’ room.  Daddy caved and tucked them into bed yet again.  This is after he got them juice, read a book, laid down for 15 minutes, and tucked them in 4 times previously.

Our life isn’t unlike anyone else’s.

We fall apart sometimes, we laugh hard, my girls melt down in the grocery store, get in trouble, we love.  I melt down, Mel freaks out and we all wake up and start all over again.  Every single day.  Some chapters are easier than others, but each one has taught us.

Our life is exceptional.  There is nothing that this blog has seen or that I’ve written about that I would change.  Ever.

It is who we are.

Cheers to more months filled with only two or three blog entries!  Life goes on!  Life is grand!

 

 

June Countdown

Five…Number of years that we’ve been graced with “The Bear,”  her papi, and all of her antics.  I can’t believe my baby will be five on June 27.

Four… Number of times that Mel has A) Flown out of the state without telling me again or B) had overnight conferences in swanky hotels in far away places that he mentions to me merely hours before departure and adds, “Oh, did you want to go?”

Remind me that I do love this man.

Three… Number of miles I can actually run (without stopping) now (and without someone chasing me).  I can’t believe that either.  I completed my first “official” 5K in 31:37 on June 9, 2012.  8th in my age group-not so bad-at least it’s not last!    (Okay, so I’ve “participated” in (to put it nicely) the Hartsville Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trott 5K for many years, but that’s more of a social event, and doesn’t really count, especially with my, um, “time.”   Several weeks ago, on a whim, I asked one of my oldest and dearest friends (and college roommate) to run in a 5K with me to celebrate the end of my cancer ordeal.  She didn’t hesitate and we crossed the finish line of our very first 5K together!  We’ve reluctantly decided to continue our “training” and go for more!

Two…Number of  summer tumbling classes it took Mary Clare to realize she wants to be a “GymTastics Girl” when she grows up.

One…Days until I travel to New Bern, NC to pick up my little camper!  McCanless has been at Camp Seafarer this week and I’ve missed her so!  This is her second year attending, and she was counting down the days on her wall calendar last month until we arrived.   She was so excited!  I’ve been counting down the days and minutes until I pick up my big girl!  I’m so excited!!

AgesThirteen and Ten

Today, I started Tamoxifen.

Honestly I only started today because tomorrow I’ll see Dr. Butler, my Oncologist, and I’m afraid of what he’ll say when I tell him I’ve only taken it for two days.  He wrote my prescription a couple of weeks before my radiation treatments ended (back in April) and told me to begin the day after my last treatment.  I really don’t have a great reason for postponing it.

I just did.

I guess, for the first time since last August, I didn’t have a treatment, medicine, or anything having to do with cancer on the docket and it felt nice not to worry about it.  I’ve never been much of a medicine taker, but I guess that will have to change. MC takes two different seizure meds three times a day, and an asprin everyday, and this week:  an antibiotic for sinus infection, nasal spray and eye ointment  4 times a day.  So why not throw in a little anti-hormone pill for me.

I have to take it everyday for the next 5 years.

When I complete my Tamoxifen, McCanless will be thirteen and Mary Clare will be ten, which seems like an eternity away.

Five years ago, I was nine months pregnant with Mary Clare and would soon begin  one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  I had no idea how much joy and pain her presence would bring.  Tonight, as I was in the kitchen, she clamored in on a pair of McCanless’s hand-me-down pink and purple skates two sizes too big, a green leotard, and hot pink Halloween gel in her hair as she ate a banana.

How different life would be without my tiny miracle.

How amazing the last five years have been.

So, cheers to the next five. I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us!  Bring on the Tamoxifen, hot flashes and all!

 

Memorial Day at PCC!

Come on Summer…

DSC_7954

We are ready!!

 DSC_7964

If only school would hurry and end!!  Four days to go!!

2012 Dance Recital

Dance Recital 2012-4

Dance Recital 2012

Dance Recital 2012-3

Mommy is always too busy watching and laughing or crying while my baby girls dance on stage to get good photos.  (Or too busy running back stage to help my big girl change costumes.  McCanless was in 6 different dances this year!)  I could not be prouder of both of my dancers.

THA Mother’s Day Program 2012

Guess who stole the show?

and my heart.

Portrait of Mommy by MC

Click here to see McCanless’s 5K Mother’s Day Program and here to see her 4K Mother’s Day Program!  Such wonderful memories!

Pennington Family 1 – Cancer 0

In her usual quiet way, Kerri finishes her last treatment in just a few minutes.

She didn’t want to make much of a fuss about it, and really didn’t feel up to celebrating, so we came over with just the girls to finish her battle.

If you feel like telling her great job on a hard fought battle, send her a text message at exactly 3:30.

I call it the Victory Text Bomb and it is sure to leave a lasting impression on such an emotional day as this.

Thank you all for encouraging, praying, and helping her through this most difficult journey. Others aren’t as fortunate, some have to do it alone, and many never complete the journey; however, we’re blessed to have your love and support — and of course, to defeat this nasty thing we call cancer.

 

See you all back home soon,

Mel, McCanless, and Mary Clare

Easter 2012

McCanless’s eggs

What was left of the Bear’s eggs.

(She would paint one, eat one, paint one, eat one.)

 

So, remember when I said I was in that 5%…

of chemo patients that have straight hair?  Remember that?  Dr. Butler specifically told me that 95% of chemo patients that lose their hair, regrow curly hair.  As I’ve slowly watched my shiny bald head grow white fuzz, then grey spikes, then thick dark hair, I’m slowly realizing that it isn’t quite as “straight” as I once thought.  In fact, McCanless took a photo of it with my cell phone to convince me.

Do you see that?

Okay, so I know it’s not curls, but that is hair that is definitely not the bone straight hair that used to grow from this head.  (I also realized that the back of my hair is much darker than my, ahem, salt-and-pepperish front. Slight sigh of relief.)

Then tonight, after my run…(Don’t be impressed.  I’m trying to get back into shape and rid my body of radiation toxins.  It’s a slow start, but I’m determined to get healthy again.  I’m finally down to my pre-chemo, non-prednisone weight, but I just feel sluggish and mushy, so I’m working toward a healthier body.) …and this is what I discovered:

I took this myself with my cell phone and it’s a bit difficult to see, but my hair was completely flipped up in the back.  Crazy.  So, we’ll see how this pans out.  It’s already very poofy on top.  I even use hair products, which is a first for me.

It’s Beach time again!

This weekend, while Daddy spoke at a funeral convention in Florida, the girls team packed up and headed to the beach.  I love dropping everything and just hitting the coast with my favorite side kicks.  We had a wonderful weekend, just the three of us!

Slumber Party!

Dear McCanless,

Tonight, as you explained a playground story to me, my heart broke.  You reminded me how hard it is to be a child sometimes.  You are so mature and so insightful, especially this past year when Mommy needed you to be so brave.  You are patient and giving.  You have humor and wit beyond your years, a beautiful smile and adorable freckles.

As you grabbed me and cried  like the 8-year-old that you are and that I sometimes forget you are, you explained how you “laughed with them” at school.  You did that because that’s what you do, my sweet girl, you love to make people laugh, even at your own expense.  You have so much of your mommy and daddy in you, it’s wonderfully amazing, and yet sometimes hard for me to consume.  I know the trials you will face.  I can almost see them coming.   I know how hard life will be for you sometimes and I know I can’t protect you from it all and my heart breaks for you.

Everyone has been teased.  I know that words hurt and I know that you don’t understand why some friends say things that cause tears.  I always tell you that what is in your head and what is in your heart is far more important than what others see on the outside.  You are confident and beautiful.  Please don’t let others tell you that you are not.

Differences make the world a better place.  How boring the world would be without all of the McCanlesses and Mary Clares in it.  You, McCanless, bring smiles to faces simply for being you.

Trials that you face even now make you a stronger person, a more tolerant, patient and graceful person.  You, my sweetheart, are a beautiful swan that will emerge gracefully inside and outside.  I love you more and more everyday and I can’t wait until I see the amazing, talented and understanding woman that I know you will be.

Although we have talked and I have said these words to you so many times before, what happened to you today will be what you remember.  It’s funny how one thousand kinds words can be spoken and lost; yet, those two or three words that were hurtful will be with you forever, remembered in vivid detail.

I’m so sorry you were hurt.  I’m so sorry to see you cry, but I do hope you remember what happened and how it made you feel.  I don’t want to erase what happened.  You will be a stronger person because of this, McCanless.

Life isn’t always easy.  It’s a constant journey that molds you into the person you were meant to be.

I love you dearly, my sweet McCanless.

Love, Mom

Yes, I still plan on keeping up with this blog.

Wow, today I completed #28 of 33 treatments!  It’s so hard for me to believe.  It’s actually flown by.  Probably because I’ve been super busy at school, with the girls, and life.  (As every other mom is.)  This week, “we” put together a Double Bubble Gum costume, a flower costume and are working toward a Katherine Hepburn costume.  Field trips, programs, projects, dessert theater, etc. etc.  Next week, dance photos, finalizing house plans, a few doctor’s appointments, and end of year “stuff.”  Its always gets crazy this time of year (especially this year) and I love it.

Today, I also started my concentrated radiation (which is my translation, of course). My last six treatments will consist of radiation specifically directed at my tumor area (where it once was) and lymph node area (where they once were), basically, zapping my scars.  I shouldn’t have much more redness and burning on my large tan square from this point on.  It’s pretty funny and very, very tan.  It’s a bit tender, but has yet to be painful.  The stickers covering my paint marks (for alignment) have proven to be more of a nuisance than anything.  Apparently, I’m allergic to the adhesive on the stickers which also burns my skin.  So, at this moment, I have a large tan square and about 8 or so little tan/burn circles from the stickers.  It’s a great look.

I realize I have not posted a single photo all month.  Sigh.  My girls were adorable for Easter and I did manage to take a photo with my iphone.  (My poor Nikon is dusty.)  Alas, I’ve (temporarily) lost those photos.  I ran over my phone last week. (Don’t ask)  Thank goodness for insurance…Brand new iphone in a few days-have yet to transfer and sync everything.

I  had another fantastic photo op of McCanless in all her pink glory as  a big piece of Double Bubble gum this week, and…

I smashed my brand new iphone as I ran to the car with said large gum costume, pocket book, pair of shoes, screaming 4-year-old and jet pack* in my over-stuffed hands.  I made it to the car (and the program in time) but I dropped the phone on concrete only to smash it to pieces.  No photo of my precious pink gumball.

What’s that saying?  A day late and a dollar short.

Mel is speaking at a Funeral Director’s convention in Florida this weekend, so it’s a girls team only weekend.  We are planning on soaking up the sun and having a great time with no homework, no projects, no costumes and no place to be at any specific time.

*The jet pack is MC’s emergency pink back pack that goes everywhere she goes.  It contains her emergency seizure meds and a portable oxygen tank.  It’s pretty heavy.  Lesson One:  I can’t carry everything (and the kitchen sink) at once, no matter how late I’m running.  Lesson Two:   as much as I hate it, I need to dig out my huge, yet protecting, OtterBox again, and use it.  Lesson three:  Phone insurance will only cover one smashed phone in a one week time period.  Lessons learned.

Still going…and going…and going…

I think I’m less like the Energizer Bunny and more like the batteries themselves at this point.  (wink) Actually, I’m having very little side effects from radiation.  I think the drive to Columbia wears on me each day, but honestly that doesn’t even hit me until I stop.  It’s when I actually sit down and have a moment to think about how long it takes me and how often I make the drive that makes me tired.  I do have a nice sunburn square on my chest and breast.  I’ll have a nice tan square when it’s all said and done, I’m afraid.  The clear, circular stickers that cover my paint pen marks (for alignment), also leave a nice little odd tan mark.  It will take a while to get these lines to fade and “even me out.”  More beach time will take care of that I’m sure.  My oncologist won’t mind at all.

I think it’s funny that my last post was #13 with 20 left.  Today, I received a call that my specific machine was down, so I was able to skip today. Monday was my #20 with 13 remaining to go.  Soon I’ll be down to two hands!

Life continues on.  The girls are busy with spring musicals, dance recital practice and end of the year cramming.  Honestly, I couldn’t have planned a better time to have ended chemotherapy and started radiation.  December 27th was my last chemo treatment.  It marked the end; a fresh start with a new year ahead.  Right now, I’m in the thick of radiation and Spring and I’m probably as busy as it gets.  A perfect time, as far as I’m concerned.  It keeps my mind and body busy, which makes each treatment speed by.

Today, after MC’s dance class we visited Ms. Janie’s shop.  Ms. Janie has probably altered every one of my Easter dresses, dance costumes, and prom dresses (back in the day) and even a few maternity dresses.  Now she also hems and stitches for my girls.  As Mary Clare proudly twirled in her new purple flowered, velvet recital costume that was no less than 4 sizes too big, I noticed myself in the wall sized mirror in the overfilled shop.

And I liked what I saw.

I actually liked my hair.

Sure, it’s not my usual long and light brown hair.  I can’t braid it or twirl it, as I long to do.  But for the first time, I saw it in a new light.  I’ve tolerated it, at best, up until this point.  I even got a hair cut last week.

I realized at that moment, that same mirror has seen me in so many stages of my life.  Like Mary Clare, usually at my proudest in my “Sunday Best” showing off  and spinning as Ms. Janie works her magic.

I haven’t felt my Sunday best lately, but today reminded me that everything is so very temporary.  I should enjoy it and like what I see in the mirror everyday.  Life keeps going and going whether you enjoy it or not.

So, when another customer walked into Ms. Janie’s shop and complimented my short haircut, I didn’t go straight into my “well… it’s actually not short by choice” story.  I simply said, “Thanks, I like it too.”  No explanation.  No need, because I do like it.  Finally.

Lately

1- Today, I completed my 13th treatment.  Only 20 to go!  I’ve actually enjoyed my daily drives to Columbia.  I grab my coffee every morning and crank up the iTunes.  (My 2001 Tahoe isn’t equipped with a fancy outlet to hear my iTunes through the speakers….like some Mayor I know, so I rock the ear buds.)

2-Mel finally got a “new-to-him” Tahoe last week.  I’m super happy for him.  He felt so guilty, but I finally convinced him that as long as we can still plan on the two new bathrooms and kitchen upgrade this summer, he should go ahead and get it.  He’s worked so hard.  It’s certainly well-deserved.  It’s a couple of years old, but still has every bell and whistle you can imagine.  The girls love to ride with Daddy now.

3-I’ve officially not worn a wig since our trip to Chicago.   I wore my newest blondish wig the entire trip-enough to convince me to never wear a wig again.

4-I just mailed McCanless’s summer camp forms off for this summer!  She’ll go for just a week again this year.  I’m not quite ready for her to go any longer just yet.

5-Mel and I went to the see a movie together last night.  I think it was the second movie we’ve ever been to, just the two of us.  Not kidding.  I’m not a movie girl and IF I go, it’s usually to see Rapunzel or Dolphin Tale or something of the sort with the girls-not typically a Mel kind of movie.  Since the girls were away, we took full advantage.  We even ate Mexican beforehand and snuck in M&Ms and Junior Mints.  Did you know a Hartsville Cinema Twin movie ticket is $2?  (I swear it’s a legit Regal Cinema, too.)  Funny, because our small popcorn and drinks were $15.  We saw The Hunger Games since I can’t seem to get middle school literature out of my system.  I read the trilogy last week just so I could see the movie while the girls were away.  As always, the books were far better than the movie.  Which is why I don’t like movies.

other stuff…

I have so much to think about on my morning drives to Columbia.  I need to take a tape-recorder to capture my thoughts.  They’d make great blogging material.  And speaking of, it seems my blog has taken a backseat lately with all that is going on.  Spring is filled with upcoming programs, dance, end-of-school excitement and cramming.  This week is Spring Break and the girls are at the beach with Nonnie, Kacy and Kate, soaking up the beach sun and sand until we can officially go uninterrupted by school. We are all so ready for summer.

Mel and I were asked to be the torch bearers at the opening ceremony of the Relay for Life Luminiara Ceremony next weekend.  Wow.  I’m so very humbled and honored and saddened and happy to have the privilege to do so.  We don’t have a team this year, as we got a really late start.  I think we’ll just invite friends and family to walk the opening lap with us.  (Maybe even get working on that “Half-a-Brain, Half-a Heart and Half-a-Boob” shirt Mel thought of so long ago.)

I’ve also been asked to write something to be read as we take our first lap.  I guess throughout all of this, it’s been hard to believe it was/is even happening to me.  Even now as I walk out of SCOA everyday strong and healthy, I feel sad for the not-so-healthy people I see.  I know I shouldn’t.  I’m on their team.  Technically, I’m not even considered “caner-free” yet.  But it’s one thing that I hated.  I never wanted anyone to feel sorry for me.  Cancer is a part of life.  Sad, but true.  Why shouldn’t I get cancer anyway?  Why should I be spared when so many others aren’t?  I knew I would fight the battle and move on.  Get on with life.

I’m learning everyday that it isn’t such an easy journey for others.

I think of one woman in particular. She’s probably not much older than me.  I don’t know her name, although I should.  I see her every morning.  Waiting.  She’s in a different waiting area and always has someone with her.  To drive, I imagine. Although she’s always on the radiation side of the building, I noticed the tell-tale signs of a chemo patient:  thin, whispy hair, yellow skin, deep circles around wide barren eyes, a frail walk.

After several mornings of casual waves and hellos, grasping onto her husband, she asked me what size guard I used on my clippers.  I laughed and explained that months ago after a trip to my hair stylist and getting 7 inches chopped, Mel used a #2, then #1, then nothing.  I told her that I, too, was going bald due to chemotherapy before I made the decision to shave it.  My current style was not by choice, it is what has resulted from what chemo took from me months ago.

“My chemo didn’t work, which is why I still have some hair left.  I’ve stopped chemo now.  I’m taking radiation as a last ditch effort.” she said with a smile.  Then continued on with how amazing my hair looked.

What I thought was self-confidence is merely arrogance.  How dumb of me to waltz through SCOA as if chemo, radiation and cancer is easy.

Which is why I’m having such a hard time finding words to write for the Luminiara Ceremony.  Cancer isn’t easy, but for some reason, I have been blessed with health.  Despite cancer, despite chemo, despite radiation.  I shouldn’t have the honor of carrying the torch.  So many others have fought this battle and have had to sacrifice so much more than I have.  Even Mary Clare has battled much longer and harder than I have.  She has overcome the odds and has learned to live life to the fullest every single day despite how difficult it can be for her.

I’m not deserving to carry the torch.  At this moment I can think of so many others who have been sick for years, or my friend Betsy who lost her mother, or my new friend who is desperately hanging onto hope that radiation will work.   These people have suffered because of cancer.  Their lives have forever changed because of cancer.

I can only hope that God gives me the courage to represent those of us who have fought the battle and won and the words to touch those who have not been so fortunate.

This morning, I noticed my new radiation friend has a short new hair cut.  Gone are her thin, brown, wispy locks.  She winked at me as I walked by her  in her waiting area.  She pointed to me and explained to her friend that I was her inspiration.

If only I had the nerve to stop and tell her that she is a true inspiration.  She has taught me so much more than she will ever realize.

 

6 Down!

Today, I completed my 6th radiation treatment, and so far so good. I do have a red upper chest, and face, and arms…and legs, for that matter. I can’t say it’s from the radiation.  Although if one more person proclaims, “Wow, look at that sun burn,” I think I’m going to tell them it is from the radiation. (wink, wink)

My radiation girls frowned upon my sun burn from the weekend. Apparently, it’s not so great for my skin to have both sun and radiation beams burning it simultaneously. (The long days spent on the beach this weekend were completely worth it, however, just so they know.)

I’m continuing to drive to Columbia every morning, and I make it there by 9:00 am, only to walk out by about 9:15. I return to work by 11 and work until 3, my usual hours, just opposite of my typical 8-12. It’s working out nicely for me. I actually enjoy my hour drive alone, with my music and my coffee. No Pinkalicious Musical, no Taylor Swift.  No one fighting over which channel or who has the iPad, or iPod or which set of headphones. No spilled drinks. It’s quite a nice drive.

Mel, on the other hand, isn’t a fan of the early mornings. I’m sure he’ll be happy when we get to #33.  I leave around 7:15, just as the girls are awake and starting to dress.  He’s in charge from there.   It is getting better, however. He let me know that he did offer the girls breakfast this morning (without takers), he had them brush their teeth and had their hair brushed.

Dare I wonder what was accomplished on days 1-5 of my treatment? Oh well, at east they were only 10 minutes late today.

We’ve been busy with trips to the zoo, the parks in town and the beach with Nonnie, and the usual dance, school and friends.  McCanless has even been involved in a mini-basketball team at THA.  She had her first game last Wednesday.  She’s a key player on her team.  I’m afraid it’s more about her height than skill at the moment, however.  (She’s the tallest kid in her 2nd grade class and most of the 3rd graders as well.)  If only she could leap and twirl across the court with the ball, she’d take ’em down.  Her team, “The Green Machine” won their first game and  I was so proud of her.  She does very well at acquiring the ball.  We need to work on what she does with it once she has it, though.  (Rather than pass it to the closest person on her team.)

Life is busy.  Life is good.  Radiation will be complete before I know it and we’ll be soaking up more sun on the beach and by the pool.

Whew!

It’s been a crazy busy month so far and it’s only March 21st!  Where does the time go?  Thankfully, it’s passed along quickly and hopefully it will continue to do so.  I’ve begun my radiation treatments!  Yahoo!  Two down and 31 to go!  I’ve only had two, but so far so good.  I’ve felt great both days!  I’ve been tired, but I think that has more to do with having a bit of jet lag and exhaustion from a fabulous trip to Chicago this past weekend.  Plus two girls that insist we play outside in this warm Spring and keep busy until dark everyday, which is just fine with me.

Here’s how the past two treatments have gone…

7:30 AM Drive to SCOA-1 hour and 15 minutes (depending on traffic)

9:00  AM Walk in/Check-in-Receptionist waves me back to Women’s Waiting Area and says, “Good Morning”

9:01 AM  Undress and put on lovely mauve hospital wrap and take a seat in waiting area.

9:05 AM  “Pennington” is called on the over head speaker just as I get settled and pull out my Kindle.

9:06 AM  I sign my initials after seeing my mug shot on the computer verifying that it is indeed me getting ready to be zapped-although I’d love to deny that awful photo.

9:07 AM  The ladies in my RAD room ask me to lie on the table, line me up and chat with me briefly before they exit the room.  I am exposed waist up.

9:09  AM The ladies take two X-Rays to verify placement.  They exit the room again.

9:10 AM  I lie on the sheet-covered metal table in the cold room as the machine circles me and makes zapping noises.  Every few seconds I see red beams on the ceiling or on my chest.  (These are the beams that help alignment.)  I see a computer overhead.  Every second and for every movement of the machines, numbers constantly change.  I feel nothing but the cold room.

9:20 AM  The girls come back in and tell me, “all’s well, see you tomorrow.”

9:21 AM  I head back to my dressing stall, dress and head out being sure to speak to everyone on the way out.

9:25 AM  Head back to Hartsville

Repeat 31 times.

Today, as I walked out of the Radiation Area of SCOA, and as I passed by patients and caregivers waiting on treatments, I held my head high, walking quickly and confidently.  I was so proud. Proud that I am where I am.  Proud of my super short hair, and proud to say that I am near the end of my treatment.  For the first time I wanted to tell everyone that I passed by, “I had cancer.  Look at me now, I’m healthy and strong.”

It’s an amazing feeling.

M-A-R-Y

I hope she always writes her “Y” this way.

McCanless

I met a blog reader yesterday (and new friend) in NC at a dance competition.  After a brief introduction and explanation and figuring out who was whom (as we also have a mutual friend), she mentioned that she recognized McCanless.

What?

I just knew my short do was a dead giveaway.  Surely, she recognized me and my crazy “chemo hair.”

For a moment, I was dumbfounded.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

The past 7 months have been about me.  My bald head.  My cancer.   My chemotherapy.  My trials.  Me.

And if I’m honest with myself, the four years leading up to this point have been about Mary Clare.  Her surgeries.   Her recovery.  Her seizures. Her medications.

And life is always about Mel.  Our world always revolved around his recent passions, ideas and creative spirit.

McCanless once said to me, “You, Dad and MC each have ‘something,’ what’s mine?”

As I watched my insightful girl dance on stage yesterday, I remembered that she was only three when she learned the harsh reality of life.  She learned that sometimes it isn’t fair.  She learned to live without Mommy during the same month that she learned to swim without floaties.

She learned that baby sisters and life can be fragile.

And she was reminded of that again this year.

Unfortunately, she knows what a port is, the ugliness of a seizure, and how to ignore scars.

She’s mature and patient beyond her years.  She’s amazing.  She’s recognizable.  Not only for her sweet spirit and smile, but for her contribution to our family.  I hope one day I can truly explain that her ‘something’ is her.

Radiation Update…

I met Dr. W last week at SCOA and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  He’s my Radiation Oncologist and I’m in love.  (You know, in that “he could be my dad” sort of way.)  My appointment was at 11.  I walked into SCOA at 10:50 and was immediately shown to my room (which is opposite of my SCOA norm).  Radiation to the left, Chemotherapy to the right.

I’m heading left, baby!

I was shown a video which explained everything about radiation, what to expect during my visits, and gave me a virtual tour of the types of machines and procedures I’d be exposed to. Then Dr. W came in and chatted with me for a while.  He was amazing.  Love that man.  And the best part is that he will be working with my other favorite Oncology doctor, Dr. B!  It’s all teamwork here, people.

And the best part?  No tattoos.  No breath hold technique!!   Yes!  Bring on the beams!

I return Monday for my simulation appointment and I’ll get started with my 33 treatments 4-5 day after that.  Can you tell I’m happy?   Yay.  Countdown is ON.

It’s a… Moon Pie!

Last night, we headed to Columbia for dinner with Kacy and William for a “small” dinner party.  If you know our family, you know we don’t do anything small-last minute, completely unpredictable and usually unplanned; but never small.  Last night was no exception.  We laughed about, cried over, predicted, chatted and celebrated the newest little one in our family.

Kacy and William had their 20 week ultrasound last Monday, and among finding out that Baby Keels is a healthy baby, William discovered the gender.  Kacy decided to wait for her “Keels Reveal” dinner party last night.  We ordered a cake and William called the bakery to let them know if we needed a pink cake or a blue cake.  We had it decorated as a Moon Pie, simply because that’s what we’ve been calling Baby Keels since we learned of Kacy’s pregnancy.  (…and it would require chocolate icing, making it more difficult to see pink or blue cake-my family totally doesn’t trust me.  They thought I’d peek.)

I took my camera, but I was too excited and completely forgot to take photos.  Thankfully, Kate was snapping photos all night with her cell phone.

MC and Uncle Alston

It’s a….

BOY!

This baby has LOTS of happy Aunts and Uncles and two extra excited cousins… (and we’re even missing an uncle in this photo!)

..and plenty of fun friends to fill-in!

Mommy, Nonnie and Yet-to-Be-Named, Keels Grandmother

Baby boy, we are so excited!  We can’t wait to meet you and welcome you into your amazing family.

First pair of heels…

So, let me explain.  McCanless’s BFF, Eliza, recently turned 8.  Eliza’s mother promised her a big girl party in the ballroom at Prestwood Country Club. (And although it sounds like quite a swanky place, it’s really just a dated recreational room holding a lifetime of memories.  Mel and I even danced our first dance as husband and wife in the ballroom by Prestwood Lake in May 2001.  And I’m certain most Hartsvillians can recall many, many years of dance classes, wedding receptions, cotillion affairs, baby showers, afternoon teas and lazy afternoons of ping pong sessions at Prestwood snack bar at the far end of our beloved ballroom.

Our own girls have already made plenty of memories within the gates of Prestwood Country Club.  McCanless and Mary Clare have spend hours on the playground with neighborhood girls, at birthday parties by the picnic area and feeding the geese by Prestwood lake.  Each summer we log miles on our golf cart traveling with picnic bags and towels in hand ready for summer days by Prestwood pool.

A few weeks ago, McCanless eagerly explained to me how excited she was to attend Eliza’s birthday party in the ballroom.

“Mom, everyone is wearing heels.  We need to go shopping.”  This was about 2 hours before the party and made me stop dead in my tracks.

“Heels?  McCanless, you are way too young to wear heels.”

“Please mom.  Pretty please?  Can we go look?” she pleaded.

McCanless did happen to need new dress shoes for church…  I’ve held off as long as I could, and realized that we wouldn’t be making it to Easter (as I had hoped) when we’ll trade in her black patent leather “Sunday shoes” and tall boots for cute Spring shoes and sandals.

I’d have to suck it up and buy one more pair of sweet little black patent leather mary janes for her party.

We only had time to zoom to the local department store, where we quickly learned that they no longer have a children’s section?!  (When did that happen?)  I saw McCanless eyeing the women’s section and I begrudgingly walked behind her telling myself that I would not buy her a pair of women’s shoes, especially not heels.

There is no way she fits into women’s shoes.

She wears a woman’s size 5 1/2.

We compromised on a little pair of neutral wedges.  Not too big girl, not “babyish,” according to McCanless.

An hour later, in her Christmas dress, brand new “heels” and donning just hint of blush, McCanless eagerly skipped into Prestwood Country Club for her first big girl party.  The ballroom was  filled to the brim with pink and white balloons and pom poms and was already thumping with music from the DJ.   She found Eliza and left me by the door.

The photo above was taken when I picked her up at 9:00 pm, just after I stuck my head in the front door and saw her completely sweaty, running around playing chase, barefoot.  I couldn’t have been more thrilled to see my big girl being the little girl that she is.  After giving me a huge “this was the best night of my life” squeeze (in front of all of her friends), I asked her to put on those fancy “heels” for one quick photo.  I’m almost certain she’ll never wear them again.

She was so giddy and excited from her night.  She chatted non-stop on the short ride home and as I sat with her in the bathroom while she bathed.  She continued chatting away about her magical party until I tucked her into her bed.

I hope she will always be as eager to share her stories with me.  (I’m also hoping she’ll be as eager to throw off her “heels” and have fun with her girl friends for a long time, too.)

Pinkarific

Ella, MC, and Ashby

The girls and I recently went to see “Pinkalicous, the Musical” in Camden with a few school pals.  To say Mary Clare loved it is a huge understatement.  She sat mesmerized throughout the entire musical, which is HUGE.  It’s no surprise, her obsession with all things Pinkalicious has resurfaced.  We’ve pulled out all of her old favorite books, Pinkalicous, Purplicious, Goldalicious, Silverlicious, and once again, her Pinkalicious, the Musical CD plays in the car non-stop.

The big sisters in our group had a great time too, although they would probably never admit it.

Square One

After a couple of initial visits to a closer hospital for the start of my radiation treatments, I’ve decided to return to my beloved SCOA for my radiation, despite the hour and 20 minute long drive to Columbia it will take to get there.  (Times 2- for round trip, for 45 days of treatment…yikes.   But completely worth it, in my opinion.)

This is after a panicked call to Dusty, my SCOA oncology nurse, after I just wasn’t “feeling” my new oncology center. (My only reason for trying out the new center was simply for the fact that it was closer.)   She assured me it was her that I was having separation anxiety from and calmed me down.  Still, after a few conversations with Dr. B, my SCOA oncologist-the mac daddy himself- it seems that SCOA will be able to better meet my needs and deliver what he feels is necessary treatment for me.

Apparently, I have some sort of weird narrow chest (and not much in the boob department anyway-no big surprise there) so my treatment will consist of the breath hold treatment, which isn’t as far fetched as it sounds, so they say.  Because of my abnormally (ahem) small upper chest area, my lungs and heart are all squished together making bypassing them a more difficult task than it should be. (Radiation beams are shot across your chest, not into.  I tell you, I should be a medical linguist.)  With the breath-hold technique, the radiologist will be able to minimize as much radiation exposure to my heart as possible by having me breath in and hold, which will push my heart back into the chest cavity.

Yeah, no matter how I explain that, it still sounds a little crazy.

SCOA will use IRMT along with the breath-hold technique.  “Intensity-modulated radiation therapy (IMRT) is an advanced mode of high-precision radiotherapy.”  In other words, all radiation is precise but IRMT is extremely precise.  Another fun little tidbit:  I’m getting a TAT or two!  The radiation oncologists even tattoo patients to ensure precise location of each treatment.  Crazy.  There’s all sorts of molds made and measurements taken.  I was even warned not to fluctuate in weight. It’s all precisely measured and checked and re-checked and checked and monitored again and again.

Because I’ve decided to make the switch to SCOA, I’ll be back at square one, meeting with my radiation oncologist and starting the whole radiation process once again.  March 1st is my (second) initial “Meet your Radiation Oncologist” visit.  This time at SCOA. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it again. (Which is a great thing-I never actually hear them the first time anyway.)

My hair is growing like crazy and it’s totally gray.  I knew I was going gray, but I had NO idea how gray it was until now.  I rarely wear the wig-she’s looking a bit sad anyway, tousled and stringy.  I debated buying another, maybe totally different, but wearing it drives me crazy.  It just feels tight and itchy.  I guess because I actually have real hair underneath now.  (Yay!)  My eyelashes are growing back too, but are a bit odd.  They are wiry and short, like little spider legs.

Life is busy and slowly getting back to normal.  Actually, it’s completely normal.  The only difference is the occasional double-take or lingering look in the grocery store or gas station from my Sinead O’Connor do.  It’s liberating to be out in public and completely fine with my “not so typical”  look.  A year ago, I would have never thought I’d be brave enough to be out in public with a near shaved head.

Funny how much can change in a year, or even a blink of an eye for that matter.

Dance Dance Dance

McCanless and I, along with her dance team, headed to North Carolina this Saturday for the first competition of the 2012 year, Star Systems. (MC was with Nonnie and Kate at the beach celebrating Nonnie’s birthday. I owe them-MC would never last all day at one of McCanless’s dance competitions. She’d be swinging from the rafters half way through.)

McCanless never ceases to amaze me. I love watching her perform and her dance team did an amazing job on all of their dances. Of course, I wasn’t allowed to take photos during the competition performances, but I was able to snap these with my cell phone as the girls practiced in the lobby.

“Paruchi Party,” the Production Dance, which combines all three teams-Petites, Juniors and Seniors- was amazing and won Top Overall. I love watching all of the various ages dance together and interact. (The big girls are simply breathtaking to watch, especially McCanless’s Dizzy “big sister,” Julia. Julia was a student of mine at THA for three years and is now a senior in high school. I couldn’t ask for a better role model for McCanless. We were all so proud of all of the girls. They’ve worked so hard and deserved the win. Go McCanless! Go Julia!

The Petites

It was a long day filled with 5 costume changes, 200 bobby pins, 100 safety pins, hair spray, hair gel, hair bands and lots of dancing and kisses and chaos, and cheers!

After a much deserved sleep-in this morning, we all went to Florence. McCanless and I dropped Mel off at Best Buy so we could get pedicures and shop. We had a fun Mommy/McCanless weekend! I missed The Bear, but loved the time with my big girl.

(While McCanless and I were busy shaking it up on Saturday, Kate sent me these photos of the bear at the beach…)

Happy CHD Awareness Day 2012!

Happy CHD Awareness Day, my one-in-a-million miracle.  It’s ironic how your half-heart is filled with more passion and spirit than most of us with full hearts and how someone as tiny as you has made so many people realize what life is truly about.

Did I mention that Mel’s nightly engagements also took him out of town all week?  Yeah, neither did he.

Mel called today from out of town and happened to mention, “I’ll see you girls on Thursday night.”

What?

At least he’s not in another state.  The last time Mel forgot to mention a business trip to me, he called from Tennessee.

Yes, I’m still planning on keeping up with my blog…

Wow, when I thought I was ready to get “back in the swing of things” I never realized how busy we actually are. I love being back at work and hearing stories of Mary Clare on a daily basis, and seeing McCanless be the “cool” second grader that she is.  (Especially after those grumpy, not-so-happy morning rush days).

This past weekend, we celebrated the long and happy life of Mel’s grandmother, “Nana,” who passed away on Friday morning.  We also celebrated four birthday parties, missed a Valentine party, watched McCanless hip hop during half-time at a Coker College game, and had a fantastic time visiting with family who traveled to honor Nana’s life.  To say our weekend was busy is an understatement.

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and if you have ever worked in a school (especially middle school area) you know it’s like the day before Christmas break.

McCanless has a dance competition this weekend.

My mom will turn 61 this weekend. (Which made me realize my actual age last night while soaking in the tub-with both girls.  I could have sworn I’m only 34.)

Mel has at least one speaking/meeting/social event every single night this week.

Oh, and while I officially stopped wearing my wig in public, I threw it on this morning again.  During our unseasonably, nearly 80 degree days, it was fine.  This morning, after a weekend of wearing hats,  my poor ears were so sore.  So, I’m a brunette again.  At least until this cold weather subsides.

I have my first appointment with my new radiologist on Thursday to get that started!  Yay!

While life is definitely “in full swing” it does make the countdown to Spring go so quickly!  Sunshine and hair, here I come!

Hair Update:

MC and I decided to take a photo of my hair today during nap time.  She loves to rub it while she’s falling asleep. (It’s still very fuzzy and soft.) It’s getting thicker everyday.  Not bad for 5 weeks after chemo.  Mel is ready for me to ditch the wig.  Me, not so much.  A few more weeks maybe.  We’ll see…  (Maybe when I ditch the wig, MC will ditch the paci.)

And another interesting chemo fact:  My eyebrows have completely fallen out.  They waited until after I completed chemo to let go.  Apparently, this is pretty typical and I already have tiny hairs growing back where my big, black eyebrows used to be.   I think I’ll feel much more comfortable with my super short do once they fill in.  (What you see in the photo above is my (no so great) attempt at drawing them in with an eyebrow pencil.)


So can you tell that I started work this week?

While my blogging has definitely taken a back seat this week, I’m happy to say that life is in full swing.  I picked up right where I left off at THA with my fabulous schedule of everyday from 8-12.  And while I’m certainly much busier, it’s so, so nice to be getting back to “normal.”  It helps that I’m able to see my two munchkins during the day whenever I feel like a quick hug or kiss.

Lots to report today…

I’m happy to report that my appointment yesterday with Dr. Sweatman was a great one.  He “officially” told me that I had clear margins (from the tumor removal) and the sentinel nodes that were removed were negative for cancer!  “Clear margins” (in my unofficial, non-medical explanation) is just another way of saying that enough tissue was removed.  Dr. Sweatman not only removed my tumor, but also surrounding tissue, until he felt it was clear of all cancer cells.  (The tissue is biopsied for an official report.)  Many times, the margins may not be clear, in which case, the surgeon will go back into the body around the tumor site and remove more tissue until clear (i.e. non-cancer) margins (tissue) are found.  Thankfully, all was clear with me!  Yay!  I return to Dr. Sweatman in three weeks, and Dr. Butler, my oncologist, that same week to get the go-ahead for my radiation treatments to begin.  (I’ll be able to have radiation treatments closer to my home since they will be every day for  6 weeks, so I’ll have to have an appointment with another oncologist at my radiation hospital, too.  Hopefully, it will all take place and get going by the end of February.)

I’m feeling better and better every day, and I think my hair is really growing fast.  (Although that makes me even more impatient!) The color is yet to be determined.  It still looks much lighter than it was, but I’m thinking it’s just because it’s still very fuzzy.  Mel thinks it will be blonde.  Maybe he hopes.  I’m just bummed I didn’t get a blonde wig.  That would’ve been fun.  I got the darker wig because I just knew my hair would come back in very dark.  Oh well.  Maybe I’ll still get one for fun while it grows.  We still can’t tell if it will be curly or not.  The color of my skin is losing that yellowy, pale cancer look about it and the dark circles under my eyes are slowing going away.  (Now, it’s just the usual sleep-deprived, tired mommy, wife-of-Mel circles.)  I’m looking forward to a great Spring filled with sunshine, energy and lots of fun…and NO wig or hat or scarves or bald head!

MC finally received her progress report this week.  Her report lists many skills in different areas of development.  Beside each skill, her teacher marks a check (satisfactory) or a minus (improvement needed).  Let’s just say that genetically, both of our girls, are par for the course.  Mary Clare excels in oral Language Development, especially vocabulary.  As far as the Number Development Section, I’ll just add that she had fewer checks than minuses.   And a “skill”  under Social Development most definitely inherited from her father, “Shows Self-Confidence” received a whopping three checks.  She did great on most of her skills and we are so very proud of her.  It’s amazing to see just how far our tiny half-heart, strong spirited little girl has come.  She is creative beyond belief and is so full of life and determination.  We never have a dull moment with her around!  She has an amazing teacher who is filled with spunk, creativity and movement at all times, so I know MC is having a ball in 4K.  If there is anything about our youngest born that we all know, is that she does things her very own way, when and where she chooses.  So who knows?  She may very well know her multiplication facts and is just holding out on us.  (wink)

We have a busy weekend of birthday parties, cheerleading games (maybe) and 100-days-of-school-celebrating!  That leaves only 80 more early mornings!  We are starting the countdown now!  Come on Summer, Prestwood Pool is calling our names!

A Day at the Museum

On the very last day of winter break,  we decided to take off and head to Columbia to spend the day at the Children’s museum.  I ran across these pictures on my iphone yesterday.

And in the news…

(See me in my brunette wig?)

Just like Daddy!

Goodbye Brace Face!

Last week, this girl got her braces off!  Forever!  She gets fitted for a retainer this week.  I’m hoping she’ll be better about wearing the retainer than she is about wearing her glasses!

Lazy Saturday

We slept in  this morning and woke up to a rainy day, so after a few episodes of old Hannah Montana re-runs and a bit of karaoke, we broke out the paint brushes.  McCanless’s idea, so I let her set it up and help out baby sister.  Meanwhile, I tried to get dressed to no avail-PJ’s again for me today.  (Shirt sleeves will be the death of me.)

A little secret:  We prime over old canvas paintings and paint right over them again and again and again and again.  I can’t hang everything they paint-I’d have no wall space!

McCanless decided to make money for summer camp today. She wants to paint and sell her paintings for 5 dollars.  At that rate, she’ll be 24 by the time she can afford to go to summer camp. (Wink)  I told her that Dad and I would swing the camp tuition again this year if she promised to send a letter home this time!  Deal.  So, now she’s making money for camp clothes.

She helped baby sister learn how to mix paint to make 20 different shades of pink,

then got busy on her own painting.  I only poked my head in a couple of times as she painted.  MC didn’t paint long, so her painting isn’t finished.  She grew tired after a few pink polka dots and splotches and decided to play with her Barbie house.

McCanless’s final painting is of a Magnolia tree, just like the one in our yard that can be seen through the dining room windows.  It amazed me how she remembers what a Magnolia bloom actually looks like.  Obviously, our tree has no blooms right now, but she remembered the shape and cones.  I love how she made two huge blooms on the tree.  She knows proportions and how to paint them correctly, but chose to paint them this way.  She paints quickly and doesn’t really put much thought into anything she’s doing.  I love watching her.  When she runs out of a color, she switches. If she “messes up,” she keeps going, and enhances her “mistake.” She stops and plays with her hair.  She doesn’t take it seriously at all.  It’s amazing to watch her.

“It’s a magnolia tree mom.  I love flowers.  So, I made them big.”

If you are wondering…

I should not have looked at the HUGE incision under my arm. It made it hurt worse. (I swear it did.) The “tumor” incision (about 3 inches) isn’t too bad and isn’t very sore, but man, the one under my arm from the lymph node removal is killing me. I have yet to take any meds for the pain, so I guess it’s not THAT bad. And it’s a mile long, I swear. I can’t even see it all. I had no idea that incision would be so long. Sorry, TMI?

Still, I have so much energy and “feel” great. I was telling someone yesterday, I’m so used to feeling down and out after chemo, I was expecting to feel “super-yuck.” It’s just been the norm. But today, although I’m sore, I feel fantastic. So very different, and so wonderful. I think I’ll forever look at illness and “body aches” completely different from now on. I didn’t realize how much chemo really gets you down, mentally and physically.

I’ve got a cute little round pillow permanently tucked beneath my arm. It has helped tremendously. A ladies group creates them for breast cancer patients in Columbia. So nice.

It’s going to be a rainy weekend, and I’m ready to snuggle and have down time with the girls team. I’ve missed their little antics around here for the past two days!

Lumpectomy 101

So, it’s out.  My cancer is “unofficially” gone!  I should get a call from Dr. Sweatman’s office before my next appointment to give us a full surgical report with details.  But as far as I’m concerned, it’s outta here!  Surgery wasn’t bad at all, I’ll admit.  Mel is required to be with me for the 24 hours following surgery “just in case,” so I’m trying to milk that a bit.  (He doesn’t read my blog, so I’m good.)  I’ll get up and, “ooh” and “ahh” a bit here and there to get a bit of sympathy from him.  I tell you, it’s like pulling teeth.   He’s been complaining more than I have.  You would have thought he has had surgery.  Sympathy pains, he says.  He keeps complaining about a “stress ball” in his shoulder.

I don’t think we have ever spent an entire consecutive 24 hours together, so this should be interesting.

Warning:  Details below.  If you don’t care to read all about the “wonderful details” just skip…

After arriving at the hospital yesterday around lunch time (no food or fluids after midnight) and changing into my precious purple gown and socks (Sorry mom, they made me take off the cupcakes socks you bought me for surgery), I waited for each and everyone of my teams to meet me, greet me and explain to me exactly what was going on.

Mel will never be allowed to accompany me for any other procedure in the future.  Ever.  As I was getting my first IV, that blew, he was making the most obnoxious faces and joked with the nurse causing me and my nurse to laugh.  Laughing.  AS a monster needle was being woven into (and apparently out of) my vein.  And on a side note, I’ve never had trouble giving blood or getting IVs.  Interestingly, the nurse explained that this was yet another side effect of my chemo-“hard to catch” veins. After my second IV was placed successfully, I was given a shot of Heparin in my abdomen.  Why couldn’t that have gone into A) the IV that was just placed or B) my port.  Take your pick.

What I’ve been dreading most was up next.  (I’m giving the nitty gritty here because I had the sweetest email from someone who is just beginning her cancer battle.  She mentioned that she loves reading about my experiences.  So, for most of you this may be TMI.  I just want to put it out there for anyone who may be interested-and for Mel and the off chance that he’ll actually read my blog for once. A few sympathy points.  No?)

Mel was asked to step out of the room and two men walked in.  Yes, two young men. Exactly who I wanted my “nipple injections” from.  In all fairness, they were very professional, respectful and quite funny.  Probably not until I made a complete fool of myself joking and giggling and talking a bit too much, too quickly.  I’m totally blaming it on my nerves.  My first joke was about the Emla cream that I had stacked on my breast.  It’s a numbing cream I used about an hour prior to arrival.  Mel and I were driving through Columbia and he pulled over into a parking spot for me to lather it on. (Not even a remote, hidden spot.  It was across from the Bank of America corporate building on one of the busiest streets in our State Capitol.)  He’s so gentlemanly like that.  I used the entire tube, so I’m sure the “injection guys” got a kick out of that, a mile high dollop of Emla.  After they wiped it off and five injections later, the “site” had to be massaged.

Word of advice:  if you are one that is a bit modest, do not get breast cancer.

The injections weren’t bad at all.  My injection guys were nice enough to inject two at once.  One guy on each side.  So, really I had only three sticks. I did have a bit of burning from the “dye” or whatever was in them as it was going in, but nothing too terribly uncomfortable.  The thought of it was far worse than the actual process.   The dye helped Dr. Sweatman see the lymph nodes and tissue he was removing.

After a stroll down to the OR and a bit of happy juice and gas, I only remember waking up to Mel staring at me again and cracking jokes.

Nitty Gritty over.  Begin reading here…

After a couple of hours in recovery, we were all set.  I have a bandage on and will keep it on for 48 hours.  Steri-strips will wear off after a while and I see Dr. Sweatman in 8 days.  I have an appointment with Dr. Butler, my oncologist, in mid-February and will begin the radiation process.

After we left the hospital, I was craving French onion soup, specifically from the Gourmet Shop, my favorite.  But it was after lunchtime and the Gourmet Shop was closed.  Bummer.  So, we headed to Panera.  French onion soup isn’t something that is generally “car friendly” so we decided to go in for a “quick” dinner.  “Surely, I’ll not see anyone” in my post surgery haze.  I even went in bald, my first public outing with my blonde fuzz going on.  Not 10 minutes later, two young cutie college girls bebopped over to our table.  Whose parents and older siblings I’ve known forever from my hometown.  I’m sure I scared them.  They were so sweet and polite enough to pretend not to notice.

Mel and I even stopped by the Dairy Queen for a blizzard before returning home.  Like chemo, surgery does nothing to my appetite!  When we got home, I took my happy pill and dozed off.  Today, I’m a bit sore, but haven’t even taken anything for pain, so it’s truly not bad all.  Shhh, don’t tell Mel, but I even did laundry this morning.

So, there you have it.  Lump is G.O.N.E.  Just like that!  Cheers!  Bring on the radiation.  I’m ready!

Photo of my fuzz-hawk on the way to Columbia!

Celebrating my last week three!

Warning:  This post is completely about me.  I’m “writing it down” so I’ll remember and hopefully be motivated.  (or embarrassed)

So, they say when you put it out there, you are held accountable.  So, here goes nothing.  In honor of my very last week 3  (post chemo), I’m setting a goal.   I’m going to try to lose 10 lbs.  I know, I know I’m not trying to move mountains or anything, but it’s a start.  Contrary to popular belief, chemotherapy doesn’t necessarily cause weight loss; especially the chemo drugs used to combat breast cancer.  In fact, my oncology nurse told me that the “going rate” for most of her patients was to gain between 10-15 lbs.  I gained one pound for each of my six treatments, and I was a bit over my “ideal weight” even before beginning chemotherapy.  So I can’t blame it all on chemo!  And with a new year, new start and next week being my first week 4 since September, I’m going for it. Losing weight and eating “better.”  I’m a complete sweet junkie and lover of all savory and fatty foods, so this is huge.

I’ve never really tried to lose weight-just kept fit through YMCA classes and keeping busy all the while eating whatever my heart desires-so this is new.  A lifetime ago, it seems, I was religious about exercise, but MC threw a little wrench into that lifestyle.  Now that her third surgery is over, and my last chemo is over, my body is due a good workout regimen. I have no excuses.  (And I can totally tell that I’m inching closer to a lower metabolism as the years pass on-so this is a good thing.)  I’ll probably fail royaly, but I’ve already been on my dusty treadmill for the past three days.  Yay!  I’ve been setting it on a pre-set alternating run/incline walk for thirty minutes.  I’ll have to admit, in the past it was never a difficult run for me, but the past three runs have been tough.  No pain, no gain.  Right?  I’ve done them, they just weren’t pretty. At all.  On a side note, it’s rather strange to sweat with no hair.  I never thought I was a big “sweater” but I can see tiny beads of sweat on my scalp after I run.  Weird.

So, I’m joining everybody else in America with my new year’s plan (not resolution, because I never follow through with those) to lose weight and get healthy for 2012.   (And probably annoy my mother who complains about all of “those people” who flood the YMCA in January and never show up past February.)

Now if only I can stay away from this site!

Wish me luck!

A herd of goofs…

Go Kittens!

So, when I say I was a little disappointed when McCanless never showed an interest in cheerleading, I’ll have to admit, that was a slight understatement. I “get” how excited all of those “football dads” are when their little tykes show an early interest in a sport they loved as children. I swore I would never try to persuade my children to do anything other than what their own heart desires.

Secretly, however, I would have loved a cute little cheerleader with a big bow! (Little did I realize that both of my children could never, in a million years, be coerced into anything!  Certainly not something they had no interest in.) Sure, I asked McCanless if she might like to try cheerleading “like her mommy once did,” but it never worked. And in all fairness, we tried to introduce many other extracurricular activities. Mel was a super athlete, believe it or not, and even took piano. We tried soccer, cheerleading (for a brief, failed stint) and piano. Dance is her thing. Which makes me happy. She loves it.  I loved it as a child, and she’s really good at it. (And we have still plenty of time for her to find other interests, maybe even cheerleading one day! Wink.)

Mary Clare is in a little pre-ballet class, but I’m not so certain that dance will be her thing. She loves the costumes and loves to dance. But in her 45 minute class, she spends more time staring at herself in the mirror doing Lady Gaga moves and kissy faces than she spends in first position. I laugh as her classmates just tip toe around her, as she shakes her head and spins a little too quickly, doing her own thing. Certainly not like a little ballerina should. Sure, she’s graceful, but on her own terms. She twirls when she should be still. She kicks when everyone else is plieing; very much how my little spit fire lives life right now.

Recently, when a neighbor asked her if she would like to join a cheerleading team, she squeeled with excitement. (I was secretly thrilled.) So, we bought the pom poms, the uniform, and went to scheduled practices, which were all behind closed doors.  The morning of her first game, we were all so excited to see the new “Kitten” cheerleader for the first time. Go Kittens!

She nearly ran over Kaiti, who was in front of her, as she ran down the tunnel of spectators. Do you see how excited this girl is? She was laughing the whole way!

(She insisted on not wearing a shirt under her uniform that morning, along with her pink shoes and leggings. She actually didn’t like the orange uniform and wanted to wear her green Thomas Hart Academy cheerleading uniform, so I didn’t argue with her about the shirt and pink shoes.)

Once the cheerleaders were introduced, they disappeared for the first half of the game and were to come back out at half-time for their performance. At this age, they are only required to cheer for the second half of the game, which turned out to be a good thing, in MC’s case.

When she came running back out on the court, she had changed into her gray leggings and Uggs.  Typical MC.

After this photo was taken, the girls assumed position on the sidelines, ready to cheer on the team! Mary Clare loved the gym, the people, the noise.  She adored the uniform and pom poms. Cheering for her team?  Not so much. She cheered for a few minutes, then wanted a water break, a bathroom break, was mad at me for forgetting her megaphone and eventually sat down until it was her turn to call a cheer. She did stand and cheer for that one. I sat down behind the mini-squad and she sat in my lap and cheered from there for the rest of the game. So, we’ll see if this is her thing or not. Maybe we’ll just keep the uniform for the dress-up trunk.  That way she can be a cheerleader whenever she wants, or not. I think I may have an actress on my hands.

Seasons of Change

I’m often amazed my my family. You know, I don’t see myself. Through my eyes, everything is as it should be. I sound the same. I feel the same. My voice is the same.

Over the last five months, however, my girls and Mel have watched my appearance morph into something different. I slowly became someone entirely new. They see me with my bald head, no eyelashes, no eyebrows, and mousy complexion every day. They live with this new person. They’ve become accustomed to seeing me this way. Lately, I’ve grown annoyed with my wig, so it may be soon that I’ll don my bald head outside of our home. Until then, it’s our family’s little secret.

Occasionally, I’ll walk by a mirror and of course, every morning as I jump out of the shower, I notice this new person staring back at me. I’m still not used to it and I quickly move on. As I’ve said before, it’s easy to be bald when you look healthy. It’s so much more difficult when you look sick. I still look sick. I imagine it will be this way for a while. As obvious as my yellow and bruised nails are to the outside world, I can only imagine how the hidden inside of my body looks. Slowly, however, my nails are growing out and health is peeking through. I use this as an indicator of my body. When my nails look fresh and new and healthy, I’m hoping my body will also be that way.

I’m fortunate now that chemo is behind me, I have a new season ahead of me. I dream of warm Spring and a healthy me with new hair and a fresh complexion.

Life is never easy. I’ve had to “suck it up and deal” before, when life seemed so unfair for my baby girl. When it seemed we could finally breathe again, life threw us another curve ball. More sucking it up and more dealing. More growing. More learning.

I have a huge appreciation for my husband. I’m sure 12 years ago, when he spontaneously decided to buy an engagement ring before our graduation trip to Europe(because we all know Mel never plans anything), he never knew all of the trials we would face together. Never once, has he faltered on his extreme dedication to me and our journey. Let’s face it, I’m no pretty sight and I know I’ve not been the easiest person to deal with at times. Mel has treated me just as he has for the past 12 years. Nothing seemed to change in his eyes. (Even when I wanted a little coddling-no such luck.) Every day he has encouraged me and has told me I’m beautiful, even when I know that’s far from reality.

So, even though this season of my life has been challenging, I’m thankful for the growth, compassion, and closeness my family has experienced. Hopefully, the girls have learned that although the outside of me has changed, it didn’t change who I am; and that what is on the inside of a person is far more important that what they see on the outside.

Life is so precious. Seasons come and go and pass quickly. I’m so very fortunate to have had life experiences that make me acutely aware of how amazing our life truly is, right here and right now.

Great Wolf Lodge

After much deliberation over a birthday party…ice skating party, roller skating party, art party, sleep-over party-when, where, how, who-McCanless just couldn’t make up her mind. So we decided for her. It was last week and I wouldn’t have time to plan much of a party anyway. Much to my dismay. (Hate January birthdays.) So, Mel booked a family getaway at the Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC.

McCanless went last year with friends for New Year’s Eve and had a blast so we knew she would love it. (Plus, we were curious and wanted in on the action.) Mel threatened my life if I woke them up before 9 AM, and there’s no laundry to do here, so I’m online.

This place is massive and amazing. Amazingly huge. McCanless has had fun showing us “the ropes.” She tells us exactly what to expect and when and where. She already knows everything, you know? Pretty amazing for the ripe old age of 8. (I tell her this about 10 times a day. I can’t wait until she’s a teenager and she really knows everything.)

This girl has not stopped squealing. I think she just might explode from excitement. Not sure if it’s because she can wear her bikini “for real” this weekend or from being almost tall enough to go on big girl slides. (Poor thing. Even though she can swim almost as well as I can, she has to wear the “baby swimmer” bracelet because she is about as tall as a 2 year old. She’s limited to only a few areas of the park, but Daddy has been able to sneak her down a few big girl slides.)

Their favorite, just may be the “kids cave” with bunk beds in our room. I tried to convince Mel that the girls need cute little white bunk beds (specifically from Pottery Barn Kids) because the girls went to bed so effortlessly. (It may have been out of pure exhaustion, but surely the bunk beds helped.)

I was a bit worried about MC being on the top bunk, but I remembered “way back when” my baby brother fell out of his top bunk onto the hardwood floor and rolled under the bottom bunk and continued to sleep. It gave my mom a bit of a nervous breakdown when he couldn’t be found the next day, but he was completely uninjured.

Just as I turned out my lamp, I heard MC sneaking her way to our bed. So much for bunk beds.

Story time in the lobby of the Lodge.

I can’t wait for them to wake up and see what today brings!

Boobs and such

I could jump out of my skin I’m so excited

and cold, but I’ll not dwell on the fact that our house has no heat,

and has been sporadically working, at best, for a couple of weeks now.   There have been crews under our house for days upon days. (I’m getting good at redirecting my attention.)

Yes, our “good” luck continues into 2012, but I’m still holding out that this year is going to be fabulous.

At least last week the weather was a gorgeous 70ish degrees.

This week, not so much.  BUT Uggs were on sale this week too.  Guess who wears Uggs both inside and outside now?  We all do!

So, I’ll ignore the cold and announce that we have a surgery date!

I can’t tell you how exciting it was to see Dr. Sweatman and hear that my surgery could be scheduled at any time!  Too bad the hospital couldn’t fit me in until January 18th, but I’ll take it!  I was literally jumping for joy about the surgery.  Who knew?

Also, Dr. S is very pro-lumpectomy and encouraged that route, but gave me the ultimate call of a lumpectomy or mastectomy.  (Only after spitting out lots of facts and statistics of more than I ever wanted to know about boobs, cancer and surgery.)  Of course, I wanted to do whatever he thought was best, so lumpectomy it is, which is outpatient surgery.  The tumor is still there and is “notably smaller.”  I wish it would have dissolved all together, but sometimes that’s not the case after chemotherapy.  Its what you hope for, but doesn’t always do the trick.  It may even be in several pieces, he said.  He will remove all tumor and surrounding tissue and do a sentinel node removal.  After that I will begin radiation therapy 5 days a week for 6 weeks.

By St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll be a new woman, with two new bathrooms and heat just in time for Spring.

No sweat.

Happy 8th Birthday Lillie McCanless!

Well, it’s official.

I’m old. McCanless is eight.  As of 8:51 AM today, to be exact.

I’ll spare you with my sappy “how can she be 8 years old” story.  I know every mom feels the exact same when their baby turns yet another year older.  But really, how can she be eight already!?

And what’s even harder for me to fathom is the simple fact that she is closer to fifteen than zero.  She clearly explained this to me early this morning as I tried to snuggle with her and sing Happy Birthday to her.

“See mom, eight is closer to fifteen than seven is to zero.”  Mel math at its finest.

She may be closer to fifteen, but she still loves her silky.  After a few snuggles, she jumped up, ready to begin her birthday!

The girls were actually ready when Zara, our friend, neighbor and carpool partner, arrived.  We got a Happy Birthday call from Aunt Liz and took a few photos with the yearly birthday blow up.

with song and dance of course.

We’ve been celebrating all week so far.  (Doesn’t everyone have birth weeks?)  And last night we did what our family does best on birthdays.

Vamos a comer Mexicano!  (Senora Denny would be so proud.)

Cheese dip and margaritas for all!

We are quite a bunch, and growing louder each year.  If that’s even possible.

And by loud, I mean these two.  Yes, Mary Clare that’s exactly what everyone around you felt like, too.

At one point we noticed Bonnie and Clyde arguing over something.  When I listened closer, I realized they were trying to “decide” who knew more Spanish.  Mary Clare insisted that she did, naturally.

“See, listen to me….Bippity, Bobbity, Boo!”

I missed photos with Nonnie, Bubba and Bapa, and Dopey and Sneezy and Doc.  Oops.

Today, she took blue snowflake cupcakes to school.  I always let her design her cake and cupcakes for her yearly celebration, and I think that’s more of a bigger deal than presents OR party.  She draws up designs all year long.  I may have a future cake baker and decorator on my hands.  Quite the creative one, she is.

This weekend, we aren’t having a party.  We have even bigger plans.  Tonight, she decided to celebrate at the Japanese Steakhouse but asked me NOT to tell them it’s her birthday.

“You know, Mom, where they fire up your food and sling it on your plate.  We’ll hide Mary Clare’s face, because I know she hates the fire.”

Oh, McCanless, I just love you, my little 8-year-old.

2012


Finally

On December 28, Mel and I headed to SCOA for my 6th and final chemotherapy treatment.  Little did I know, just around my last hour of treatment several familiar faces planned to show up to watch me ring the victory bell at SCOA.  My treatment lasted a bit longer than usual, as I had yet another reaction to my Taxotere.  We closed the place down and although I didn’t have a room full of nurses and patients clapping for me as I rang the bell, I had a few of the most important people in my life there to fill in!  It was perfect.


What seemed impossible

Happened to me

What felt impossible to achieve

I have accomplished

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Christmas in Ashland 2011

We always spend Christmas evening in Ashland with Mom and Dad and the whole Woodham crew….  Always a crazy, fun time!

For some reason, when we are all together, we always end up outside with a bonfire.  We all grab a coat from Mom’s hall closet which must have every coat she and Dad have ever owned from 1970 until today.  We love to dress up!

Merry Christmas!


A Christmas Surprise…

Kacy had a special surprise gift for Nonnie this year…


A new baby is on the way!

Sweet baby, I can’t wait to welcome you into this family.  You are already one loved little person.  You have an amazing family who will love you, laugh with you and teach you all about what family means.  (Even if it does get a little crazy sometimes, we do know how to have fun!)  Welcome to the Woodham family!

Cheers!

The new Dad and favorite aunt.

I think McCanless liked the sparkling grape juice.


Christmas Day 2011

This girl, who typically sleeps well after 9, was up every hour beginning at 5 am.  Finally, she and I crept into the den around 8 and I allowed her to see her big surprise and open her gifts.  It was nice to be able to focus on her and have that alone time with her.  She took her time and relished in our together time.

And her big Santa surprise…

A Sweet Pea Razor electric scooter!

When this girl finally got up around 9, she was so mesmerized by her 3-foot-tall Barbie Dream Mansion, she barely had time to even go through her stocking!  Santa definitely nailed this one! MC is a Barbie girl for sure!

After grits, bacon and cinnamon rolls and a few hours playing Barbie, we headed outside.

Looks like we need another Sweet Pea scooter.

I can’t believe how big McCanless is getting.  Such a sweet little lady who adores her baby sister.

I even had a turn on the Sweet Pea, which MC thought was hilarious.

We live in such a great neighborhood (with lots of little girls) so it was fun to visit with many of our neighbors and play with new Christmas gifts!

Merry Christmas!!

Christmas Eve 2011

After a fun morning and yummy lunch at Mimi and Bapa’s house, we headed home for a much needed long winter nap.  When the girls awoke, they were filled with such excitement!

We got all dressed up for the Christmas Eve service at our church, but not before one last song!

McCanless had such an ornate, and heavy costume, we waited to get dressed at church!

Both of the girls took part in the Nativity this year during the early Christmas Eve service, typically the children’s service.  (One day I’ll make it back to midnight Mass-when Santa makes it easier on me.)

MC was a sweet angel (the star angel, she claimed) and McCanless was Mary.  I only got one shot in church because McCanless was actually holding a real live baby.  (Thank goodness he was a dear friend’s baby-you know, just in case.  I was a little nervous and totally forgot to take photos.)  As always it was a very sweet service and so touching to see all of our babies involved.  (Except when Mary Clare and Emma nearly brawled over a golden horn as they were hanging over the altar rail.)

After church, we headed over to BB and Papa’s house for dinner.  Immediately, “Bonnie and Clyde” got together and hung tight all night long!  These two are a mess and love each other dearly.

McCanless and Leah Brenn, our newest cousin!  The oldest and youngest Pennington cousin.

Elizabeth, Robert, Kathryn, Michael, Michael, and Nana were there too, but I was a bit slack on photos this year.  I soaked up every minute of Christmas and family savoring every moment.  What an amazing time of year.  So much to be thankful for.

BB and Leah.  Fancy Pants for Christmas Eve!

After an amazing day filled with so much love and  family, we headed home, said our final goodnight to Elfie, made sure Santa had a few cookies and snuggled into bed with one last Christmas story.

Christmas Eve Morning 2011

Now that Bapa and Mimi are in Hartsville, we were able to spend Christmas Eve with them at their house!!  Aunt Liz, Uncle Robert and even Daddy were able to spend the entire morning eating, opening way too many gifts and rocking out!

And of course, it wouldn’t be Christmas without Bapa reading, The Christmas Cookie Sprinkle Snitcher.

My Gingerbread Girls

Doesn’t everyone?

It’s how we roll…

MC said today…

After McCanless apologized for something or another, Mary Clare shouted out…

Sorry is not going to cut it!”

and mumbled to herself…

“unbelievable.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Cats on the Porch

Bally, Brock and Cole

The Nutcracker

A few weeks ago, Uncle Robert and Aunt Liz treated the girls to a night on the town!  They ate dinner at fancy schmancy (and oh so yummy) restaurant, Terra, (which also just so happens to be owned by Uncle Robert’s family-so the girls got extra special VIP treatment) and even had “sparkling wine!”

After dinner, they went to see The Columbia City Ballet’s performance of the Nutcracker.  The girls loved the performance and are still leaping and twirling around pretending to be Clara.

…and look who showed up in Columbia the next morning!  Thank you Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert for a truly magical night!

Thoughts…

Can you believe it’s Christmas already?  I’m behind.  Way behind.  I always have grandiose plans of building glorious gingerbread houses, making glittery crafts with the girls, magical photos with Santa…the whole she-bang.   Some years, I get it together.  This year, not so much.  I love the hustle and bustle of the season so I’ll try to fit it all in in the next few days.

We did finish our pink and silver spiral glitter sugar cookies.  (You didn’t think the girls’ team would have traditional red and green cookies for Santa did you?  Do we ever?)

Few days. Yikes.

Three days into Christmas break, and the girls are already in full-on summer sleeping regimen.  Up until 10, when I force them to bed, and sleeping in until 9ish or later.  Geez.  It will take me weeks to get them back into school schedule.

Also, in a few days, I’ll have my very last chemotherapy treatment.  That’s also hard to believe.

I know I’ll look back at this time and it will seem to have been just a blurb in my life.  I feel the same way about my pregnancy with MC and the three years following.  So many days spent in the hospital with her and so many nights worrying.  Three open heart surgeries-done.  It’s still hard to believe.

I have dreamed twice now that I’ve had hair.  It seemed so very real.  The first dream, a few weeks ago, I had long flowing locks very similar to what I had pre-chemo.  Last night I dreamed it was a darker brown and very short.  Sassy.  I plan on taking a photo a day (with a new 365 photo app) beginning on January 1.  That’s my only new year’s resolution so far-remembering to take the photo.  I’m keeping it simple.

So speaking of simple.  I was just interrupted by yet another unannounced visit from our plumber. (After his banging on the back door and ringing the bell continuously, I nearly tripped on Emmie running to grab my wig.  So annoying-will not miss that.) He simply suggested we not shower or bathe at all in our tub.

Our one and only tub, remember?

He said, “You just may find yourself in the bathroom soaking in the tub one minute and under the house the next.”

Does he realize that Christmas is this weekend and I have crafts to make and houses to ice?

Oh well, I just hope it’s Mel when the tub falls into the floor.  Ha.

MC said today…

“Mom, let’s hurry up and go to sleep so sugar plums will dance in our heads!”

My Christmas Star

This girl completely surprised me when, out of the blue, she announced that she was Cinderella in her 2nd-5th grade school musical, A Christmas Cinderella, a few weeks ago.  She had to audition for this lead roll and even sang a solo!  (She was actually Cinderella #1, out of four, but I’m still proud as punch! She was the youngest little Cinderella.)  During my last treatment-week  one, she and Mary Clare stayed with Mimi and Bapa.  Mimi and Bapa worked with McCanless to help her memorize all of her lines.  I didn’t go over them with her even once!

This was during her solo on stage.  She has the sweetest little voice.

We couldn’t have been prouder!

Santa Mail 2011

In a funk…

Today, I’m in a funk.

Being bald is easy when you look healthy.  Being bald is tough when you look sick.  I’m tired.

Tired of chemo.

Tired of having bags under my eyes when I’m not tired.

Tired of looking sick.

Tired of being sick.

My skin is yellow.

My eyelashes have gaps.

My eyebrows are almost gone.

When I catch a glimpse of myself passing the hallway mirror, or when I see the round shadow of my head in the light on the wall, I’m still surprised.  Shocked.  A few weeks ago, I met Mel for lunch.  I saw him walk in and thought he saw me immediately.  When he walked right past me and asked a server where I was, I realized he didn’t recognize me with my “brunette” bob.

I hate that Mary Clare and McCanless know why I’m bald, understand why I’m bald and are okay with me being bald.

I’m not okay with being bald.

I’m so ready for normal.

I’m so ready to have hair.  Eyelashes.  Eyebrows.

Some are not as fortunate as I.  I know this.

It’s just that today,

I’m in a funk.

New Glasses!

I took McCanless to the eye doctor this week for a yearly exam.  We came home with these cutie glasses!  She failed a vision screening in 5K, which was when I started taking her to the eye doctor yearly.   On that visit, I was told her vision would either correct itself or get far worse.  Last year, she passed her vision screening with flying colors and got an “okay” visit at the eye doctor.  I assumed we were in the clear and her visioin was fine;  just like her parents!  No such luck, the poor girl couldn’t see.   I feel horrible that I waited so long this year to get her to the eye doctor.  It’s funny, I can’t see a thing when I put them on.  (Far too strong for me.)  She does look rather cute in them, though, don’t you think!?

True Story…

Mel and I were actually in the car together alone yesterday for a few minutes.  Which happens to be a very rare occurrence.  (Before we jumped into the car, he was speaking to a couple who invited him to a non-profit event in January.)  As we sat back into the car, he immediately grabbed his phone to tell “her” to schedule the event.  (His iphone has a speaking, command-action voice, who will do as she says-funny.  He LOVES it.  She even calls him, Mayor.)

So he asked “her” to schedule the mid-January event.

Iphone:  Sir, the event you have asked me to schedule is occurring on a day with multiple events.  Shall I continue?

Mel:  Yes.

Iphone:  Event scheduled for January 15.  Event overlaps with 51 previously scheduled events.

Mel immediately looked up at me.  He looked like a kid who just stole a candy.   Busted.

He then said, “So that just completely confirms what you already think of me.”

Just have to share…

Go here…

I’m super excited.  I recently Googled “hair growth after chemo” and found a plethora of information online; however, one blog stood out.  It’s a blog of a cancer survivor who lost her hair, yet documented each week of her hair growth after her chemo treatments ended, aptly named, “Hair Growth After Chemo.”   Ironically, her timing is almost one year ahead of me.  On November 27, she posted a picture of her new beautiful dark curly locks and I sat and cried at I read her post thinking that could be me in one year or so.

Recently, I’ve become a little self-conscious of my diminishing eye lashes and eye brows.  My skin now has a dull yellow hue, as I remember noticing on other chemo patients early on in my treatment at SCOA.  I wrote to my new blog friend today and explained that for me bald was easy when I was early in my treatment.  I had thick, black eye lashes and eye brows.  My skin still glowed of health.   (Three of my features I will never complain about again as long as I live.)  However, these five chemo rounds have played a toll on my body.

I look sick.

Even when I smile and have great energy, I look sick.  It’s disheartening.  I so want to look on the outside how I feel on the inside.

This new blog gave me hope that life does go on after chemo.  Even now, when I’m still in the thick of it all, with surgery and radiation still ahead of me, I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And my new friend, author of my new favorite blog, whom I will likely never meet or even talk to for that matter has sparked a new found confidence in me.

I’m so close and I know that by this time next year, God willing, I may have a head full of dark waves.  I hope so!

So according to MC, it’s Christmas…

So much for the chocolate Advent Calendar.

Sorry, Uncle Robert.  Maybe next year she’ll “get it.”

These two make my heart melt.

Can you tell I’m missing my babies?  They’ve been at Mimi and Bapa’s house this week as I “come out” of my chemo shell.  I can’t wait to be bombarded by, “up to here” with and loved beyond measure by these two.  My  house is way too quiet.  I miss my girls team.

I’m amazed at how different this treatment round has been.  I’m not jinxing myself by saying anything more.  I may wake up a zombie tomorrow, but for today, I’m good.  I even did a bit of Christmas shopping.   I was in tears this morning as I told Mel how “good” I felt. (Relative, of course.)  It’s always strange to wake up after several chemo days and finally be somewhat normal.  I cried this morning because I know that I only have ONE more time to do this. ONE.  MORE. TO. GO.

I know that’s getting old.  Sorry.  I just can’t get over it.

It’s a great day.  Tomorrow will be even better.  Friday with my girls.  Hooray!

Day two after Treatment #5

-So I know the culprit.  It’s 7:00 pm, and my friend just stopped by to administer my Nulasta shot.  She typically comes in the early morning after my treatment, but tonight just couldn’t make it.  I think it may be best this way.  (Too bad we only now figured it out.)  I’ve been very groggy/sleepy today, but not that painful, excruciating feeling I usually feel.  So,  I’m assuming that it’s the Nulasta that makes me feel that way.  Hopefully, I’ll sleep through a good bit of that and only have a rough two or three days versus my typical four.  We shall see.  I’m watching Holiday Cupcake Wars on the Food Network and thinking about making cupcakes tonight.  By far, very different from my last 4 (day after treatments).

-Yesterday, my chemo nurse submerged my fingertips in ice during my Taxotere.  Apparently the ice prevents the drug from getting into the cells and causing further nail damage.  She also recommended I go to a skin care clinic.  I really feel that my toenails are starting to lift.  They are getting pretty bad, but only one more treatment to go, so maybe they will hold on!   Another nurse friend of mine suggested that I take Biotin and a B-complex vitamin, so I’m doing all I can at this point.

-Did you know that each chemo treatment is roughly $17,000.  That’s $17,000 x 6, plus all of the doctor visits, and extras that are added for chemo only. (Lab work, scans, etc.)  And that not so kind little Nulasta shot?  Those are $8,000 a pop.  Wow, between Mary Clare and me, our household has some pretty expensive cargo!  Just an interesting little fact, I thought.

-My Oncologist, Dr. Butler, told me that after my last treatment (December 28), I’ll need wait about 3-4 weeks to get my body back in “order” and we’ll schedule surgery.  I’ll meet with Dr. Sweatman, surgeon, soon to discuss options for surgery.  He’s very pro-lumpectomy, so I’m hoping for a smooth, less-invasive, easy-recovery surgery.

-And speaking of less invasive.  The advantage of having chemotherapy prior to surgery was the possibility of shrinking the cancer tumor.  Guess what?  It worked!  My tumor was originally around 2.5 cm and is now about 1.5!  Yay!

-I’ll have to leave my portacath in about a year after my last treatment, “just in case,” so that will be one awesome Christmas present next year!  A port-free me with a short new do!  (I was also told that my hair will be long enough to have a short and sassy do by then!)

Cheers!  One more to go!

The 2011 Hartsville Christmas Tree

Hot chocolate before the Hartsville Christmas tree lighting ceremony

Friends

Lantern wishes

Sweet friends released this lantern and wished for my health in the new year.

I couldn’t help but shed tears as I watched my lantern fly away.

So many wishes.  So many prayers spoken on behalf of others.

Hartsville Kicks off the Season!

2011 Hartsville Christmas Parade

Mel and I pulled MC in the wagon again this year in the parade.  She was quite a ham, as usual!  And…I made it!  I was determined to walk the entire parade again this year, and I did it!  It was so much fun.  I wasn’t even tired at the end!  (Ha! Take that chemo!)

After we walked the parade route, we walked back to find our family so we could watch the parade and see McCanless on her Dizzy Dancin’ float.

These two…

When Reese got this hat, MC asked him if he was graduating.

McCanless

Daddy jumped into one of the fire trucks….because he could.

Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus

Santa posed for me!

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Thanks for always playing on the girls team!  We love you!

Never gets old…

In a panic!

So I’ve received TWO Christmas cards already.

Yes, you read that correctly, two.

I’m in a panic.  I have no idea when, how, where, what to do about our Christmas card.  Last year was a total fail.  We even had a great family photo to use and I just didn’t do one.  At all.  I didn’t send a Christmas card.

I haven’t NOT sent a card since Mel and I were married ten years ago!  I did not send a Christmas card last year at all.  It still makes me GASP!

One of my most favorite things about this season is running to the mail box and finding cards and photos and hellos from friends from all chapters of my life, past and present.  I see their families growing and changing and it leaves me feeling connected to them even if I haven’t spoken to them since college.  I adore my Christmas cards.  I even leave my mantle undecorated, and use my cards as garland.  I string them onto twine and add to my garland as Christmas approaches and cards fill my mailbox daily.  It’s wonderful!

Last year, this would have been the photo on my card.  You know, if I had gotten it together.  It’s a photo from Liz and Robert’s wedding.

And we all remember what happens when I put Mel in charge of a Christmas card.

That was never printed or mailed.

We actually had family photos taken back in September specifically for our Christmas card.  They are amazing, only now we look entirely different.  (Mel and I do anyway.) He’s lost about 30 lbs and I’ve lost hair.  We just feel so differently and want to reflect our new selves in our Christmas card.  Looking at those photos, we realize we were all in a very different place and time.  I don’t know.  We’re still thinking.

One thing is for sure, I’ll never leave Mel in charge of a Christmas card.

Chemo bits…

I’m on week 3 before my 5th treatment.  I can’t believe it.  I’m almost at the finish line.  This week is always tough because it’s a countdown to week 1, which has begun to get pretty bad.  Doable, but not something I ever want to go through again.  Here are a few things going on right now.

-My fingernails are always sore.  They are bruised.  They have pink/purple splotches on the center of each nail.  It looks and feels as if I’ve smashed each of them.  I started using tea tree oil every day in hopes that it will salvage them.

-My toenails are yellow.  My pinky toenails are deep purple.

-My eyelashes are really beginning to get thin, especially on the bottom.  I have large gaps in between lashes and my eyebrows are very thin.  I think this is probably harder than losing the hair on my head.  I guess I never really thought about losing my eyelashes and eyebrows.   It really makes me look sick.  I hate that.  Even when I feel great, I get asked if I’m, “feeling badly today?”

-I assumed that when my Oncologist told me treatments would snowball, getting worse with each, that he meant it would take longer to recover from each one.  They have, in fact, gotten much worse, but I’m always feeling better by the end of week one.  It doesn’t take longer to get over, they are just much more intense during that first week.  I always tell myself, “I can do anything for one week…I can do anything for one week.”  MC is also my inspiration.  I can’t imagine how open heart surgery must feel.  She’s done it three times.  If she can do that, I can certainly make it through this.

-I’m gaining weight.  It’s only a couple of pounds, but at least I’m not losing, right?

-My port area has almost become a part of me.  I thought the soreness would never end.  I thought I’d never get used to the perfect metal circle protruding from my right chest, a constant reminder of my chemo, but it’s something I almost never think of anymore.

-I often wonder if Mel or the girls ever look at me walking around our house with my bald head and secretly wish I had hair.  I do so often.

-I know this could be so much worse, and I’m thankful that I am able to get chemo.  Some aren’t quite so lucky.  So, while I secretly wish for hair, shed tears as I countdown until my last week 1, and just breathe and smile to make it through the day, I also think of how amazing this chapter in my life is, filled with overwhelming love.  I am a lucky girl.

One for the swear jar…

It’s ironic how the tiniest things can drive you right over the edge.  And looking back, you think of how crazy you were over what?!  This has been quite a year for us, and for the most part, I think I’ve held it together pretty well.  I try to laugh in the face of turmoil most times, but this weekend, I’m not going to lie, my Christmas tree just about sent me jumping into Black Creek head first.

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving.  I, of course, forgot my camera but we had so much fun at my mom and dad’s house this year.  It’s been a couple of years since we Woodhams had everyone together for Thanksgiving and as always, we revert back to the days when we all lived under one roof.  It’s pure chaos.  Loud, obnoxious, wonderful chaos.  We laugh, sing and dance and make fun of each other.  My cheeks hurt on Thursday night as I lie in bed thinking of all the fun we had and laughs we shared.  And of course, they made fun of MC’s Rudolph nose.

Let me back up…On Wednesday as I was busy in my kitchen baking, I realized MC had dirt on her legs and feet from playing in the yard that morning and her face was quite dirty.  She was using her stool to wash her hands at the sink.  (MC is the human tornado destroying everything in her path most days, if you didn’t already know that and I was desperate to try to finish my Thanksgiving baking.)  I had a brilliant idea.  I scrubbed down my kitchen sink and filled it to the brim with bubbles and tea cups and plopped her right in.  Just like old times.  She still fit!!  I could still do my baking, keep my eyes on her and she would be contained occupied.

Today, three days later she still has a huge deep red scab on her entire nose.  Rudolph.  We ended up at the pediatrician’s office about 30 minutes after that sink bath.  Apparently, she used a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser pad (which I thought was way out of her reach) to “wash” her nose and ended up nearly scrubbing her skin off.

So today, my Christmas tree has been decorated, undecorated (realizing a bit too late that we have 100 sets of faulty lights) and my house looks like the day AFTER Christmas from a certain little tornado and I’m feeling like Mother of the Year.

I’m sure if you are reading my blog, you have seen other mom blogs.  I have.  Some have homeschooling moms with five kids all of which, are living and working on farms.  Other blogs are written by moms,  again with a slew of kids, who volunteer all over the country speaking to teens about Christianity, all the while having craft hour daily with their beautifully dressed, all-A children and photography businesses on the side. You know the ones.  Perfection at it’s peak.

I get it.  They would rather showcase the happy times.  Me too.  But sometimes life just sucks.  (That’s one for the swear jar, mom. Sorry.)

And as I sit here this morning with scattered ornaments, beads and lights all over the den floor contemplating throwing my Christmas tree out onto the street and into the leaf pile pick up and staring all over, I just realized that this is what life is about.  It’s truly what makes us appreciate those times that do go smoothly.  Those big ceramic lights of mine have worked for years and years and although they are now considered a “fire hazard” and can no longer be found anywhere, we enjoyed them tremendously while they lasted.

Funny how madly passionate you can be about something once you realize it’s gone.

Today, I’m thankful for non-working Christmas tree lights, crazy mishaps that only seem to happen to my girls, trips and falls and bumps in the road.  I’m thankful for those times that don’t go according to my plan because those are the moments when I stop and think of all of those wonderful moments that do.

A little shout out…

Can you tell I’m feeling better?  As soon as I start to “come back” as I explained to Mel last night, I try to pack in as much as I can, including blog posts.  Yay!  I’m back.  Whew, last week was rough, but I’ll not focus on that.  I wanted to give a little shout out to my hubby’s apparel company.  He’s so super busy with being mayor, funeral director, firefighter, daddy, husband extraordinaire, that I oftentimes forget that he still has Pennington & Bailes Co.?!  Last week, Kimberly Whitman, of Southern Living featured P&B during a tailgate segment on the Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee!   I completely missed it!

P.S.  Mimi, Nonnie and BB,  click on the red words (links) to see the websites and video segment from the Today Show!

Blizzard Branch Syrup Co.

Beefalo and sunshine

I love age four and Mary Clare is in it’s prime.  She’s at a point where she is completely confident in herself and her vocabulary and I love asking her to tell me stories.  Today, for example, she was explaining to me that she wants to be a cooker (chef).   When I asked what her favorite food is, she, much to my surprise, replied, “bacon.”  (Totally out of the blue.  Never saw that one coming-she’s practically a vegetarian.)  After a conversation about how she cooks bacon, I inquired what she would cook McCanless if given an opportunity.

“Well, duh.  Beefalo,” with a slight roll of her eyes.

I nearly choked.  I had no idea if she meant Chef Boyardee Beefaroni, which I swear they’ve only had once in their lives, or Buffalo, as in wings maybe?  which we rarely have.  I know I have certainly never cooked Buffalo for them.  She may have very well meant beef, as in hamburger, but she was certainly confident in her word choice of beefalo and only stared at me completely aggravated, as I tried desperately to stifle my laughter.

Today, Nonnie, the girls and I spent a wonderful fall day at Blizzard Branch Cane Syrup farm? barn?  Not really sure what to call it.  (I guess I shouldn’t be so critical of Mary Clare’s word choice.)  We watched how cane syrup is made “the old fashioned way.”  It was quite remarkable.  As we enjoyed a wonderful lunch full of all things southern, including vegetable soup, and fried pig skins, (yes, my mom munched on them and was even able to get McCanless to try them) Mary Clare exclaimed, “LOOK mom, there’s a sunshine in your pickle!”

My heart nearly melted as I realized she was referring to the sliced okra in my vegetable soup.

If only we could all find sunshines in pickles so easily.

Hello Coffee!

This morning I enjoyed my coffee.

One of my most favorite times of the day is in the early hours of the morning.  Not only because it just may be the only moment of silence or alone time I’ll get all day, but because for a few moments everything is perfect.  While the girls and Mel are sleeping, safe, healthy, the world goes on. Everything is starting fresh.  New.

I’m always the first to rise, taking Emmie out for a little walk around the yard.  Summer mornings, I  spend waving to neighbors as they jog by or hustle to work.  In cooler months, I bundle up and sit on the porch and watch the Canadian geese dance, while I enjoy my coffee.

During week one of treatment, nothing is as it should be.  Even my taste buds turn on me.  My mornings with Emmie on the porch aren’t quite as enjoyable.  In fact, I skip the coffee all together.

Today, I enjoyed my coffee on the porch with Emmie.

Today, I know that this time is evanescent.

Grandparent’s Day at THA 2011

McCanless and Mary Clare, once again, weren’t lacking in the grandparent department on Grandparent’s Day this year.  They are two lucky girls!  BB, Papa, Nonnie, BaPa and Mimi were all there to celebrate!

First up was a musical selection by all K-classes.  Can you see my little Turkey?  (Second from left)  They all sang their little hearts out, yet McCanless found it far more entertaining to wave and sing to her big sister and all of the big kids sitting on the front row instead.

This was just before they all sweetly joined hands and proceeded to circle the stage hand-in-hand, except one tripped and they all avalanched, falling down and knocking one poor boy down the stage steps.  I was laughing too hard to get a photo.  Wish I would have had my video on!

Some of Mary Clare’s work in her classroom…

“Mary’s” turkey.  My little one has a completely different personality from my McCanless and this painting just may sum it all up.  Completely on her own terms, never in the lines, never intentional, never patient, fearless, passionate, colorful is my youngest.

This just made me laugh. It’s a self-portrait collage.  Notice the passy.

Grandmothers extraordinaire, my mom, “Nonnie” and one of her BFF’s, “Khaki,” also a THA grandparent.

McCanless made this for Mel’s grandmother,  her great-grandmother, “NaNa.”  We don’t see her that often as she is now in an assisted living community, but I was so very happy that McCanless thought of her and made this for her.  I’m so glad she will have the memories of a great-grandmother.

Happy Grandparent’s Day!

Chemo Treatment 4-Movin’ On UP

Day 2-I have not updated my chemo journey in a while because of my naivety.  I assumed at the start of all of this, once I documented daily during Treatment One that all subsequent treatments would follow the same path.    Little did I realize, although I was told specifically by my nurse, that each treatment would snowball, each becoming increasingly more difficult.

After treatment 2, where I had a severe reaction to Taxotere, a chemo drug, I thought that round was rough simply because of the reaction.  Once they put me on steroids, they woudn’t be quite so bad.  Wrong assumption again.  Treatment 3 was, by far the most difficult.  Maybe because I was alone, as I had to ship the girls out for the week with willing grands and chauffeurs, and Mel was on a business trip in Chicago.  I really had nothing to focus my mind on other than feeling terrible.  So, I’m going to play naive again this week and hope that because I’ll be keeping my babies at home and Mel is at least a phone call away, it will be smoother.  (I know I’m kidding myself, but it’s what I’m banking on for now.)

My treatment yesterday went smoothly. No reaction, (although today I look like a sunburned chipmunk thanks to the steroids.) Kacy stopped by SCOA and after my treatment, we all went out to eat for an early dinner.  Mel wanted to do a bit of shopping for the funeral home and I even lasted through that.  (Mel only gets out to “real stores” once in a while, so when we hit up Target, World Market and Bed Bath and Beyond, he was way too consumed.  He thought we needed anything and everything he saw.  I’ve got get him out more.)

Today, I’m tired.  I’m taking it easy.  My friend (and nurse), April stopped by to give me that blasted Nulasta shot, which makes my body get better, but makes me feel like the Wicked witch of the West with a house dumped right on top of me.  My saving grace is that by Friday, I’ll be back to normal (hoping) and I’ll have two weeks of great days!  Then, drumroll please……..only two more treatments to go!

Durell, my favorite check-in guy at SCOA, with his deep Barry White voice, scheduled my dates for December.

Treatment 5 on December 5 then my final treatment on December 28!  So, I have a date.  I’ll be ringing that bell before the new year begins!  Yay!

Columbia Marrionette Theatre-Field Trip for McCanless

Last Friday, I was able to go with McCanless to the Columbia Marionette Theatre!  It was amazing!

Of course, McCanless probably liked hanging out with her pals outside of school more than anything.

But not surprisingly, she did get a kick out of playing with the puppets!  She loves the theater and was enthralled with the marionette puppets.

While the dancer was away, Mommy and Clare went to play!

We went to Disney on Ice!

After finally finding our seats, and after purchasing much NEEDED items like a tub of Micky popcorn, Cinderella flash light, Beauty and the Beast tea cup with rainow icy, we were set.  And after all of that, she sat mesmerized throughout the entire show, not touching the popcorn or icy.  Who knew?

We had a ball!  (But shhh, don’t tell McCanless!)

Everybody JUMP!

McCanless is in Greenville with Kacy and Nonnie this weekend at JUMP!, a dance convention.  While there, her petite dance team also competed.  Kacy just sent me this photo of my little angel in her costume all dolled up. That’s a mask, by the way. I was able to watch her dance tonight live via webcast and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her!  She danced her little heart out and did so well.  Way to go, my beautiful little dancer!  Not bad, Kacy.  (My fill-in stage mom!)

JUMP! Day one with Eliza, McCanless and Jennie.

You know you’ve made it big when…

you become a Halloween costume.  Way to go, Mel!

(Great costume, Casey!)

Whales and Krill and projects, Oh My!

McCanless has a Science paper and project due next week, and she couldn’t be more thrilled.  She was able to choose any animal in the entire world and after much deliberation, Google searches and mind changes, she has chosen to not only focus on one of the largest animals in the world, but also one of the smallest, the Blue Whale and Krill.  They go hand in hand, so I thought it was a great idea.  She only searched marine animals, which I found interesting.  She has always loved the water and the ocean, but I didn’t realize it would filter down to the wildlife as well.  I just knew she would choose a dainty poodle or fluffy Persian cat.

She loves art, so after listening to her talk of cutting out photos and plastering them on a poster, which is the norm for a school project, I’m afraid,  I suggested she paint her animals on a canvas.  She jumped at the idea!  (I’m trying to stay out of this project as much as possible, but also “guide” her just a wee bit.)

I couldn’t help but get super excited as I saw her rules and guidelines for the second portion of the project!  I could easily take over!  BUT, I’ll NOT!  She is in the early paper writing stage, having to submit a “Sloppy Copy” first, and an edited one last.  I completely jumped into teacher mode and began to explain everything about submitting drafts, and MLA format, etc., etc….until I realized she was looking at me wide-eyed and like I was crazy.

So we focused on the canvas for now.

After we talked about deeper water means deeper colors, and blending colors, I left her with her blue paints and her canvas.

Once she finished the ocean, I decided to send her to Mel for the details. McCanless is showing me Daddy’s whale here.  I think she was pretty impressed with his drawing.

I can watercolor and blend and “fake” paint, and I’m also an ace at painting “cheerleader” letters, thanks to high school, but a little known fact about Mel is he is quite the artist.  He’s very detailed and very talented, I must say.  I wish he had time to devote to creating art.  He taught McCanless how to draw a whale using shapes.

Mel’s drawing is on top and hers is the larger whale under his.  I asked Mel if he “helped” her because I thought it was a pretty nice drawing, especially for her first attempt.  He said he didn’t need to help her at all, she did it all on her own, quite easily.   Tomorrow, she’ll paint her whale and krill on the canvas.  I’m so proud of this sweet little 2nd grader and all that she is learning!

I am the left brain.

I am a scientist.  A mathematician.

I love the familiar.  I categorize. I am accurate.  Linear.

Analytical. Strategic. I am practical.

Always in control.  A master of words and language.

Realistic.  I calculate equations play with numbers.

I am order.  I am logic.

I know exactly who I am.

I am the right brain.

I am creativity.  A free spirit.  I am passion.

Yearning.  Sensuality.  I am the sound of roaring laughter.

I am taste.  The feeling of sand beneath bare feet.

I am movement.  Vivid colors.

I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas.

I am boundless imagination.  Art. Poetry. I sense.  I feel.

I am everything I wanted to be.

Today

Today,  I took the girls to school at 8.

I got a call to go get MC at 9.

Plumber came at 10.

Mel nearly fainted at 1.

My straw busted through the bottom of my Sonic cup around 3.  In the car.

I noticed my tire was flat at 6.

MC is fine.  Right now as I sit to take in exactly what our plumber explained, and hoping I’m being punk’d, she’s “crazy dancing” in front of the television watching Yo Gabba Gabba.  She took a two hour nap and after a good bit of one-on-one mommy time, she’s fine.  The house, not so much.  My tire, not so much.

After finding 6 inches of water sitting under the back half of the house, the plumber further explained that our entire plumbing system needs to be replaced.   In fact, he mentioned seeing “rice” under the house.

That’s odd.

“Well, I did just use the disposal to rid of a bit of spaghetti noodles.”

Yes, I know. Pretty gross.

Oh, and the tub is about fall through the house.

And the 6 inches of water sitting under the house?  Yup, it’s dishwasher junk, garbage disposal junk, tub water, washing machine water all rolled into one.  The only pipe that actually works is the one coming from the toilet.  Can that be a silver lining?

The bathroom needs to be ripped out and replaced.  The bathroom.  The one and only bathroom in my sweet little 80-year-old Creek House.

This is about the time where Mel nearly fainted.

That was yesterday.

And this morning.  After yesterday’s chaos,  guess what?  McCanless rolled down the car window just before walking into school.  It stuck.  All the way down.  It won’t budge.  At all.  So, it’s November and I have a window down.

Lovely.

I’m definitely buying a lottery ticket this time.

REVISED November 4:  You know that window I mentioned?  The one that’s stuck down?

It rained last night.

Snuggle Time

Happy Halloween 2011

Our first (and only) trick-or-treater of the night, Stella, was Olivia, the Pig!!

My sweet Rapunzel

Around 6 pm, much to my dismay (but no huge surprise) McCanless opted not to wear the Cha Cha dancer costume that she HAD to have a month ago.  Sigh.  It’s what my girls do.  Every year.  I had already spent the better part of the day convincing Mary Clare to wear her new Rapunzel costume instead of an old pirate costume of McCanless’s, so I didn’t have the energy to do it all over again.  I think she was a dancer, model, teenager-wannabe.

I found this pink wig in the girls’ dress up trunk. I think it was from when McCanless was obsessed with the Doodle Bops forever ago.   It needed a bit of taming and brushing, but I made it work!   I’m not a big fan of bangs, but I do like the pink.  I may have to wear it again!

First stop… BB and Papa’s house just around the corner.  Cousins, Leah Brenn and Reese were there, too!

McCanless insisted on stopping by her friend Zara’s house next. Zara is a classmate of hers and just recently moved to the end of our street!  Filled to the brim with candy and uber excitement, they immediately insisted on trick-or-treating together.  Zara’s mom braved the infamous College Avenue trick-or-treating hot spot with the pair, while Daddy and I stayed on our own street with Rapunzel.

Happy Halloween!

THA Halloween Carnival 2011

Here’s my Cha Cha Dancer at school with her spooky and (not-so-spooky) pals on Friday!


Today marks a very special occasion…

Apparently, I’ve passed down not only my sweet tooth to my girls, but my “cupcake gene” as well.  I can honestly say we have cupcakes at the very least, once a month.  We’ve made all kinds for all occasions, but prefer the usual white cake, with white vanilla icing on a “just because” day.  I’ve made completely scratch-made cupcakes and icing, but when you can doctor up a box mix and tub frosting with yummy results, why not?  We stick to simple, which ironically ends up anything but.  Our main focus and delight in baking cupcakes, comes with the decorating and eating. McCanless, in particular has a knack for ideas and has definitely inherited her sweet eating skills from Mommy.

Halloween Cupcakes in 2005

4th of July star cupcakes at the beach in 2006

Always yummy!

4K Back to School cupcakes

Always in charge of stirring and cracking eggs!

5K Piggy cupcakes for Ms. Susie, who loved pigs!

http://www.babypennington.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Pig-Cupcakes-11.jpg

McCanless even had a cupcake decorating party for her 5th birthday!

And today, McCanless mixed, baked and decorated an entire batch of cupcakes all on her own, with absolutely no help from me!  I always keep the kitchen stocked with cupcake essentials, and I heard her rummaging around for a while before I inquired.  I took a quick peek and let her be.  (Besides, Mary Clare was napping and I was enjoying the quiet time.)  When I went back into the kitchen to check, long after I heard the stove timer, McCanless proudly showed me her very first batch of cupcakes completed entirely on her own from start to finish.  I’m so proud.

She made Funfetti cake with vanilla icing and Halloween sprinkles

She ran out of vanilla, and switched to chocolate icing and added googly eyes.


Cha Cha Cha

Do you know how it is when you are so very sick, maybe sick with flu and fever, and it seems you couldn’t possibly feel worse, you break into a cold sweat, ache a bit longer and suddenly, it’s all over?  My chemo week one is quite that way.  I have never experienced anything so excruciating.  I’d like to say I’m a tough cookie, but chemo brings me to my knees, literally.  So today, I’m breathing a deep sigh of relief.

Last night was my breaking point, and I think (dare, I say?) I’m over the worst part of week one.  Each week gets more and more intense and adds a day or two of pain and I’m reminded of how serious this cancer deal is.  I never thought it would be a walk in the park, but I’m determined now more than ever to continue on and fight these side effects every step of the way no matter how long they keep me down.

So, I’m back and today, I’m heading to THA for the Halloween Carnival.  The girls were allowed to wear their costumes to school and it had to be the easiest morning ever!  Check out this little sneak peak Halloween preview…

Long gone are the days of matching or even coordinating costumes.  These two certainly have minds of their own!

Yes, I choose to smile.

I know I smile a lot.  Often others tell me to let my true feelings out, not to hide under my big smile.  They “worry.”  And maybe I am masking fear, anxiety, but isn’t it my choice to carry on how I know?  I hate making others uncomfortable.  I really don’t think it’s about me and hiding my feelings, it’s a little about protecting others.  So, I smile.

I will smile.  It’s what I do.  Even when tears are streaming over something as trivial as a cheesy Hallmark commercial, or I’m at my wits end with the girls about to explode in anger, or even sitting quietly at MUSC holding my baby’s hand as she lay on a table solely supported by tubes and machines, I smile.  It’s what gets me through. It is what has made me get to this point in life, without falling to pieces.  A smile is my promise of hope to myself and anyone else who notices.

Sure, I have my days of feeling completely defeated and I sob.  I sob to my husband, to my God.  I think everyone has to let it all out at some point.  But, I feel better when I smile.

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have” -author unknown.

So true.

I’m not strong.  I do what I have to do to carry on because I don’t have a choice.  If I did, my youngest daughter would have a perfect heart and a perfect brain.   I would have hair, not cancer.  McCanless would not have had to grow up so quickly learning way too much about how fragile life is.  Mel would have hair.  (Wink)  But life is life and so much about life is amazing.  I choose to focus on those wonderful days.  I choose to smile and remember those wonderful days, not dwell in the hardships.

Although, those hardships do make us that much more passionate, and make us hold on to what truly matters most.

So isn’t that something so smile about?

Halfway there…

Chemotherapy Treatment #3 Done!  Three more to go!

This is Angela, from Lucky Duck.  Her chemotherapy journey ended just as I was beginning mine.  Angela was at SCOA today for radiation and stopped by our chemo party for a bit.  She has been such an inspiration to me as she is a mother of two young girls (one-year-old twins!) and a teacher and is winning her fight with breast cancer.   Today was the first day we met in person despite the countless emails and texts we have sent to one another.  I can’t tell you how amazing it has been to be able read her blog and know what’s ahead.  I’m so happy to have my new (and bald) friend!

Art

Yesterday, the girls had a day off from school and wanted to spend the entire day outside.  To coerce them into coming back inside (I desperately needed to do laundry), I offered a painting project.  I usually give them a canvas and let them have at it.  Today, I decided to put my “teacher skills” to work and I gave them a specific assignment.  At one point, Mary Clare told me I was “acting like Ms. Chure!”

First, we had to find inspiration.  I asked the girls to gather a few fallen leaves.

Being the water creatures that they are, they headed straight to the dock, gathering all sorts of lily pads.

Which to my surprise, were also changing colors.

Our little creek house

After a little walk around our house, we had all the leaves we needed.


Mary Clare’s finished painting with her inspiration

McCanless’s finished painting and inspiration

I was quite pleased with both of their work, given that I only asked them to use the leaf as a starting point.  I didn’t help at all with either one of their paintings.  I guess they are both at a very literal stage of development and chose to draw and paint their exact leaf.   Still, I think they both did pretty well with their drawings and colors.  Love my little artists!

MC’s Jack-O-lantern

I didn’t get any photos of the actual process, but we decided to carve Mary Clare’s pumpkin yesterday.  She surprised me by not wanting anything to do with the “insides” of the pumpkin this year.  She let McCanless handle the scooping, while she told me exactly what to carve and how to carve it.   “One tooth here, and one there…triangle eye here and there…and no nose.”  I did exactly as she told me and her little pumpkin turned out pretty cute.  (By the way, although her smile is similar to that of her own jack-o-lantern missing a few teeth up front, she isn’t missing any in the back nor does she have fillings.  It looks like someone had a Hershey kiss or two just before I snapped these photos.)


Fall



It’s Mommy!

So ready and so not ready ramblings…

Although, today is a fantastic day, as I’m feeling wonderful, the dread of next week is looming.  I keep telling myself, it’s treatment 3 and that’s half way there.

I’m half-way there.

But I just can’t shake that feeling of a constant countdown.  Today, tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday.

My life is now lived in weeks.  Week 1 is horrible, week 2 is better and in week 3, my energy level is best, so I try to pack in as much as I can because the countdown is on.  You see, it’s never out of my mind.  My great days on chemo are still far from my normal days not on chemo.

I catch glimpses of my round head in shadows at night, passing the mirror in the dining room, or in my car’s rear-view mirror.  I’ve grown tired of “hiding” my head and I often leave it exposed.  It’s just a nuisance to keep it covered at all times.  If I do cover it, I’m typically in a hat.  I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to it.  I’ve accepted it, embraced it, even, but it’s still something so unnatural to me.

I wondered last night if Mary Clare will even remember my hair.  Even after chemo, my nurse explained,  your hair begins to grow very slowly.  So, I imagine it will be years before I have longer hair again.  I may never have long hair again.  I loved my short do.  Time will tell.  Mary Clare told her teacher that she was angry with her daddy because he shaved my head.  Then I saw an art project she created with a portrait of me.  Her teacher wrote her quote, “My beautiful bald mom.”  My hope is that she and McCanless are learning from this experience, too.  Hopefully learning tolerance, acceptance and compassion.

I’ve prepared for next week in terms of schedules-Mel has a conference in Chicago, so I’m flying solo all week. I’ve planned a chemo party with a few friends on Monday morning who are kind enough to get me there and home.  I’ve rationed out the girls and made dance, school, lunch, doctor visits, med checklists.  I’m ready, but I’m so not ready.

Regardless, it’s here.

But.

I’m half-way there.

Girls on the Go!

Uncle Liz and Aunt Robert, as Reese likes to say, braved the SC State Fair once again this year with the Pennington cousins.

Uncle Robert Sandwich with twin cousins, MC and Reese

Get your motor runnin’!

Is that my baby up there?  Waaaaay up there?

Of course, Liz and Robert did not disappoint!  As usual,  the kids were filled to the brim with sugar and soaked in dirt, sweat, and fair grime.  They brought home the biggest, best fair toys ever and were utterly exhausted Saturday night! Thank you Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert for being so super fun and spoiling us rotten!  We love you!

McCanless even took her 12 foot prize snake to school today.  She insisted, as they are studying reptiles.  (You’re welcome, Ms. Jenner.)

What we’ve been up to…

I’ve been feeling great lately.  (Well, in relative terms of being on chemo-great.)   I, once again, overdid it this weekend.  Once I start feeling “normal” after treatment, I get excited and do all things “normal.”

After a few days of that, I crash.  This Sunday, after church and lunch, I crashed. Hard.  A 2 hour nap and bedtime at 8:00 pm and  I’m still tired today, but it was totally worth it.

We had a great week filled with birthday parties, dinner with old teacher pals, the State Fair, Oktoberfest and yard work.  (The girls went to the State Fair on Saturday with Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert while Mel and I went to Oktoberfest in downtown Hartsville, all the while Nonnie, Bubba, BB and Papa did some serious work in our yard including constructing a walkway…yes, without us there.  Yes, I know.  How amazing is our family?)

Last week was also spirit week at THA and I was able to take a minute to snap a few photos of the girls one morning.  It was Tacky Day.  (Actually, it was “Class Day,” in which each class was able to choose what they wanted to wear.  Second grade voted on Tacky Day.  McCanless dressed tacky, so little sister had to dress tacky, even though it was NOT Tacky Day in 4K.  Oh well, I think they look more cute than tacky anyway!

Think they like to pose?

Take a deep breath, and count to four…

Lillie McCanless, age 4, with a black eye and stitches and chopped hair after using safety scissors to trim it herself.

Mary Clare Blaylock, age 4, missing two teeth after diving down a flight of stairs

I think age four is THE most difficult age. Obviously, my girls have had their fair share of bumps and bruises during this stage, but it’s the “new found” independence and confidence of this age that really gets them going.  The super sassy mouths, determined spirit overload, control wars (not that I have any), extreme hardheadedness.  I remember it well with McCanless and I’m there again.   (Not that McCanless got over it all by any means; it just seems to have subsided a wee bit.)

(I realize that once McCanless hits, say 13, I’ll look back at this and laugh at my naivety.)

Although they look nothing alike at age four, I can assure you, that both of these two have given me more laughs, tears, and moments of pure exhaustion, panic, fear, humiliation, extreme anger and utter frustration in their fourth year of life than I’ve ever experienced in all of my life.

Which makes me love them that much more.

Funny, how that works.

Shhhh

So, it’s really no big secret.  I don’t have hair.  I decided to shave it off before chemotherapy had a chance to take it all from me.  It was a decision I’m so happy to have made.  It was an empowering one.  Besides, I’d rather look like G.I. Jane, than a hairless chihuahua with wispy clumps, which was exactly the direction my head was headed.  Just not a great look for me, I’m afraid.

It was an experience that will never leave me, the four of us crowded into our bathroom shaving mommy’s head.  Mel and McCanless taking turns with the buzzer.  MC dancing around the sink in and out of the bathroom, not really paying attention or caring that mommy’s head was slowly becoming bare.  I know it helped our family transition, me more than anyone, into full “cancer mode.”  It made it very real and the four of us entered together.  Mel and I have certainly had our fair share of life altering experiences and this, albeit a quite unique one, changed us both and brought us even closer.

So, I’m bald.  There’s not really anything I can do about it.  I don’t have a choice, so I embrace it with my dark brunette wig, scarves, hats, nothing.  Who knew?  I’ve had long hair forever and thought this would be one of the more difficult obstacles to overcome.  I’m actually pretty comfortable with a bald head.  I think I have shocked a few friends who come to the door unannounced to say hello, however.  (This is your warning!)

I’ve surprised myself.

But.

I’m not strong, as some have mentioned.  I had a complete stranger, now friend, who emailed me with a photo explaining that she cut her beautiful 12 inch ponytail to donate to “Beautiful Lengths” after reading my blog.  She’s a strong one.  She made a decision based on what she knew was a wonderful thing to do.  She had a choice.  My hair was falling out by the fistfuls.  Inevitable.  I had to cut my hair.

I’ll admit, I would have never donated my ponytail prior to August 3.

But, I’ve done many things I never would have prior to my diagnosis.

I’ve shaved my head.

I’ve made a point to explain to Mel where I keep McCanless’s snack bags and where Mary Clare’s tiny ponytail bands are hidden.

I’ve hugged my girls more and lingered longer with them in the mornings before school, and at night not worrying about tardies or bedtimes.

I’ve thought about how much I love my house, rather than wish it to have just one more closet or one more room.

I’ve taught my four and seven year old girls what cancer means.

I’ve learned how intensely loyal Emmie is.

I’ve worn hats and scarves and wigs.

So although two months ago, I would have not chosen to have a bald head and everything that goes along with it, I’m thankful for the surprise lessons of humility, tolerance and appreciation it has taught me.  And today, it’s no secret that I’m bald.

But, I love my bald head.

Columbia Bound

The girls spent the weekend in Columbia with Kacy and William,

and to say they had a wonderful time is a complete understatement!

They are still talking about how much fun they had!

Skating

Loving

Exploring

Eating

Dancing

Cooking

Smiling

Laughing

So much fun!  We love you Kacy and William!

Mary Clare’s 4K Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Last week, Mary Clare’s class loaded up and visited McLeod Farm’s Pumpkin patch.  (Luckily, my girls have a plethora of aunts moms to fill in for me when I’m not up to par these days.)  Kacy was kind enough to take a day off of teaching her own class of first graders in Columbia, drive all the way to Hartsville early in the morning and accompany another class full of 4-year-olds on a farm.  Lifesaver.

I could eat her up, this little mess of mine.

She was a little excited.  Can you tell?

These three.

Spooky faces

And the absolute BEST part of the day….riding on the bus!

When Kacy headed back to Columbia that afternoon, she had some extra baggage.  She took the girls with her for the weekend!

Second Grade

Second grade at THA has recently been discussing animals in various habitats and how they “camouflage” to protect themselves, among many other interesting scientific tidbits McCanless loves to share with me on a daily basis.  (Yesterday, I heard all about a story of three whales who failed to migrate.  The story of their survival and rescue lasted all the way home, throughout homework and didn’t stop until dance class.  Then I heard it yet again over dinner when Daddy came home.)

On Friday, they planned a “field trip” to the woods  to explore and were allowed to wear camo that day.  McCanless was thrilled, but we had to venture to the Army Navy store in town to purchase camo. (A first for the girls’ team.) And you know McCanless… we had to buy the shirt, pants and hat.

I’m thrilled that she loves school and is so happy, my big second grader.

Sweet Girls

Today, while McCanless was at dance,

Mary Clare and I got busy in the kitchen…

Candy Corn Brownies for 4K!

(I know Ms. Chure will be thrilled…sugar for her four-year-olds!)

Of course, when McCanless got home she had to bake a pan for her own class,

so we got dirty busy again.

McCanless wasn’t quite as precise as Mary Clare with her batter pouring skills.

She’s a “more is more” kinda girl.

(Yes, we switched spoons!)

“Today is a fun day.  It is a great day.  I’m glad you are here.  God made today a great day.”  Mary Clare

Mary Clare and McCanless are spending the weekend with Aunt Kacy and Uncle William in Columbia.  They’ve had a wonderful weekend so far.  I can’t wait to see pictures and hear of all of their fun.  After a long week, this quote, which Kacy just texted me, makes me smile and know that everything is going to be just fine.

Little Bit of Fall

Coker Farms with pals

McLeod Farms Pumpkin Patch with Aunt Kacy

Blowing Bubbles

April 2011 at  MUSC.  I can’t get this image out of my mind.  I’ve never posted it, yet it is burned into my memory and holds such significance now.

Mary Clare found happiness amidst pain and looked beyond the immediate.  She is what keeps me going.

Kisses

How is it that the joys and anguishes of life so often collide?  When we suddenly smile and laugh through swollen eyes and falling tears.  When a rainbow peeks out from behind a black tumultuous cloud.  When we know that letting go of something so difficult to release is best and trust in what lies ahead.

This week has been a very difficult one for me.  Pain, guilt, bitterness.  Sadness from all that I am unable to do.  Letting go of control.

All are tribulations we face daily. Not just me.

I’m forcing myself to focus on the glimmer of small kisses thrown my way throughout the day.  Mary Clare snuggled with me in bed this morning and rubbed my shaven and very stubbly head, as if that’s the way it should be.  A friend dropped off a warm Pumpkin Spice Latte early this chilly morning.  Mel made a quick detour home to kiss me and tuck me in for a late morning nap.  I just received a super exciting phone call about our family that sent sunshine straight through my soul!

This season may be filled with pain and tears, but aren’t they all?  I guess as long as we search for and hold onto those small kisses, we truly appreciate all that we are blessed with.

Treatment 2

I’ve decided to allow the girls team to take control of the blog again.  (It is theirs anyway.)  I feel good about documenting each day of my very first chemo treatment cycle, and would like to now focus on them.  (With Halloween and the holidays just around the corner, there is much to share! I know you are all dying to know which costume Mary Clare decides upon this year.  Or shall I say costumes?   Or exactly what McCanless has on her extensive Christmas and Birthday list.)

With that being said, I have found it is much easier to “get it all out there” and write it once, rather than tell it 35 times to our huge family, text it 15 times to other friends or have Mel call me and explain it to him one more time because he’s explaining it to one more person, so I’ll continue to leave blurbs here and there regarding my treatments. For example…

Treatment 2-Day 2

October 4, 2011- I woke up this morning  tired with puffy eyes, but nothing too bad.  My treatment yesterday went a little more difficult than the first. I was all ready for my 5 hour nap, but was told that the first treatment always takes longer, as they proceed at a slower rate in case of any difficulties.  Yesterday, they hit me up hard and it only should have taken 3.5 hours.  I didn’t fall asleep as quickly as I did the first time, and I was FREEZING.  I had two heated blankets, my jacket on and a scarf wrapped around my head.  After the typical fluids and meds, they were ready for chemo drug 1, the Taxotere.  When they administered the Taxotere, it hit me!  (Remember the chemo drugs are administered into a port which has a catheter to my jugular.)  My face and head felt like a balloon ready to explode.  I became so hot and ripped off all of my layers. My chest felt so heavy and I was having difficulty breathing.  It was scary.  I was coughing when the nurse noticed and turned to administer another drug to ease the reaction.  (In her defense, she had warned me that this may happen-still you never think you could be that few percentage.)  I think I’ll go buy a lottery ticket today, for sure!  (wink)

After I was monitored (BP, O2) and my head didn’t explode-just turned a cute tomato color-I resumed my typical 65 degrees, wrapped back up, plugged back in and we carried on.

Until I had another reaction to the Taxotere.  It wasn’t as bad as the first, but it was definitely there.  So, new protocol for me.  I get to take Prednisone in my medication cocktail line up.  Okay, I’m not one to go look up lots of medical info.  I learned NOT to do that when MC was diagnosed with HLHS.  But, I just have heard some things about taking Prednisone, and had to look.  I had to see for my self.  Not a good idea.  Note to self:  Stick to my own rule of no medical research!  Just trust docs!

Today, I’m tired.  Today, I’m a bit sad because I’m anticipating what tomorrow brings.  I get my Nulasta shot today and I know I’ll hurt and ache from that, on top of being more fatigued. Sitting, I feel great, like I could quite possible get up and get a shower and head to school to volunteer and take MC to her dance class and do homework and come home and cook and play outside, like I would normally do.  My head is having a hard time telling my heart that that’s not going to happen.  I could try and only end up frustrated and calling in troops to help last minute, which isn’t fair.

When did I get to be so hardheaded?

When will I have less guilt?

Today, the emotional battle is the hardest, as I know what lies ahead for this week.

BUT, after this treatment cycle, I’ll head into Treatment Three and that’s half way there!  I can do this.

Chemo Journal Day 21

October 2- Day 21

Tomorrow, I’ll head to SCOA for Treatment #2, which means I have officially finished one treatment cycle!  One down, five to go.

This was a wonderful week full of energy and “normal” chaos.  Now I know that I can do this.  I know what to expect and I can now say, “I’ve done it.”   It’s actually not as bad as I anticipated.  (Remind me of this in a few days.)

If I remember correctly, (and a good friend pointed out) I was quite dazed and confused for a few days after my first treatment making journal entries quite scattered and loosely edited.  (Just for the record, I’m leaving them that way. I think it spices things up a bit, don’t you?)  So, for now, my journal entries are complete. I’ve done it.  I’ve completed a treatment cycle.  I’ve documented how I felt each day of my very first treatment, just as “Ms. Nurse Educator” told me I should.  I can use this first go ’round as a reference when I wish to compare and as I anticipate what’s ahead each day.

Treatment 2, here I come!  Wish me luck.

Chemo Journal Day 20

October 1-Day 20

We did it.  Mel shaved my head last night!  I must say the anticipation of my hair falling out was more of a bigger deal than it actually being gone!  I think God’s way of preparing me for my bald head was to drive me nuts enough to want it gone!  (Wink!)  I wore a Carolina ball cap yesterday to MUSC and by the time we got back in the car, where I immediately took off my cap, my hair was a mess.  I nearly had a bald spot and overall,  it was so very thin.  That, added to the flatness from wearing the cap created a hot mess.   Not a pretty sight.  I knew that I couldn’t wash it again.  Every morning more and more hair fell out in the shower.  It was time.

Mel started and MC seemed to be fine with it, as if she was used to her mom shaving her head.  She has yet to even say much about it.  McCanless was excited at first, then seemed a little sad as more and more fell onto the towel.  I asked her to help her dad and immediately she smiled and grabbed the clippers.  She buzzed a few rows.  Afterward, it felt strange, but very liberating.

Someone today asked if I cried and many have asked if I’m “okay.”  I’m absolutely fine!  No tears, whatsoever.  I’m great, actually.  I met a few friends downtown this morning to buy a few Positively Pink t-shirts and I even went to the Hartsville Downtown Marketplace. (In a hat.)  It wasn’t really planned, but ended up being a great way to debut my new look. I’m even heading to the Jazz Festival tonight downtown with Mel.

I was laughing at McCanless taking so many photos of me!  My mini-paparazzi.

Baring it all-no make-up, no hair.

McDonald’s with the kiddos this morning.

On to Juice for a bit of Positively Pink shopping!

Today, has been an amazing day filled with so many people that I love, lots of laughter and fun!

Chemo Journal Day 19

September 30-Day 19

Today, we’ll head to MUSC to focus on MC’s health and not my own! She has a cardiology visit and a neurology visit. I’m hoping her docs will confirm that her little heart and brain are doing well!

UPDATE Oct 1:  MC’s health is fantastic!  MUSC cardiology and neurology visits were great!  We enjoyed visiting a few of our favorite docs and nurses and had an amazing dinner at Fleet Landing.

She has been doing great in 4K! (I’m relatively speaking, of course. This is Mary Clare I’m writing about.) Her dog continues to be in the dog house on a daily basis. (Behavior management system) BUT, lately she has had days of NOT ending up in the Dog House! Which means she was there, but earned her way out! Yay, for those days! Her teacher also told me this week that although she continues to take many breaks throughout a task, she (now) always wants to go back to complete her task. She’s not completely zonked after school these days, either. The first few weeks of school, she would fall asleep in the car after school as soon as I buckled her in the car seat. Now, she has as much energy in the afternoon as she does in the mornings. She usually takes a quick nap before dinner, still however. She just can’t make it all day without a quick rest. She’s writing and “reading” and having a great time in 4K.

Chemo Journal Day 18

September 29-Day 18

It’s hard to believe it’s been 18 days since my first treatment. I’m so thankful to now know what to expect. The unknown is always the hardest part of any situation, I believe. Now, I know that week 1 will be difficult, week 2 will be a bit better and week 3 will be my best. I was told that the treatments would snowball, getting worse with each one, but there have been so many others before me who have made it through this journey just fine, and who knows, there’s always a first for everything, maybe my treatments won’t get worse. (wink, wink)

So, my hair… As I type this post, hair is all over the place. It’s driving me nuts. Itchy, scratchy, gross. I’m almost ready to shave it off to rid of it all. My part has grown wider and wider every day and I have a very thin spot right on top, in the front that I’m a bit self-conscious about. So, I think I’m there. I know it will be gone before my next treatment on Monday. I don’t want to have to worry about being itchy on top of everything else. Now, if only Mel had a buzzer. Get ready! The next time you see me my head may be barren!

McCanless also had her first 2nd grade class project. She is studying the United States flag and was asked to create a flag of her own, entirely about herself. (Ms. Jenner also asked that their work be entirely their own with little to no help from parents. I usually stick to this rule with all classwork, but do you know how HARD that is for me? Oh I so wanted to make my own flag for her. It would have been glorious, but I digress.) Ahem. Photos of my girls making their OWN flags. MC had to make one too, of course, but was less inclined to smile for a photo than big sis.

When we have a project, there’s always pink glitter involved.

Chemo Journal Day 17

September 28-Day 17

Mel asked me tonight if I would mind wearing a hair net to bed…yes, it’s that bad.

I’ve had another great day filled with packing lunches, school pick-up, dance, church and homework. I’ve felt very normal and very energetic. McCanless and Mary Clare are doing great and even love joking with Dad about Mommy’s ever changing hair-do. As my part grows wider and my hair gets thinner, I’m realizing that it’s inevitable. The end is in sight. It does, however, help that the loose hairs are driving me nuts. I think I’ll be ready to shave it all off very, very soon just to get rid of all of this hair! It’s everywhere!

The girls team (plus Daddy) is taking a day trip on Friday to our favorite city, our beloved Charleston. MC has a neurology and cardiology visit at MUSC, then I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do. I’m looking forward to a fun weekend before Treatment 2 on Monday.

Chemo Journal Day 16

September 27-Day 16

I’ve had a great day!  Very typical, very normal.  Well, all except for my hair falling out by the minute-but I’ll not focus on that!  Instead, I’ll post recent pics of my two favorite dancers…

McCanless with her Petite Dancing Team

McCanless’s dancing “big sis,” Julia, also a former student of mine.  I couldn’t be more thrilled.  Julia is a wonderful role model for my little one, who simply adores her!

Chemo Journal Day 15

September 26-Day 15

My text conversation with Mel this morning sums up a lot.  This was the beginning and end of our “conversation”…


Kerri:  My hair is letting go.  Fist fulls in the shower this morning.

Mel:  I know how you feel.

Chemo Journal Day 14

September 25-Day 14

Another great day filled with being “normal” and feeling fine!  “Normal” today meant Sunday school, church, Subway,  and outside playing in the hot weather all afternoon.  (I did get a little nauseous when MC and I were on the trampoline, but it was short lived.)  We also visited new baby cousin, Leah Brenn, then Kacy and William visited us and treated us to a Sonic milkshake.  It’s been a great day!

Note to self:  probably not a good idea to jump and roll and flip on a trampoline while on chemo.

The not-so-normal:  This morning, in the shower, many strands of my hair were coming out at a time.  I’ve noticed that I’m shedding way more than I typically do, but also wondered if I just was “looking” for it, anticipating my hair to fall out.  Today, it was most definitely more than typical shedding.  It’s odd, though, I’ve not had any of the skin tingles or chills that I had several days ago.  I’ve heard I’ll have a sore, tingling scalp before my hair actually releases.   “Ms. Wig Fitter” called me on Friday and said that the wig in the style I want, the Reagan, doesn’t come in the “marbleized brown” color that I want.  We’ll see what she comes up with…

Also, today I’ve noticed my skin has a couple of blemishes.  I’ve not had any sort of breakout since high school, so I’m assuming it’s gotta be the chemo.  (Not something I’m excited about.)  I may have to hibernate this winter.  No hair, skin blemishes…  Sounds lovely.

Overall Day 14- Aside from the mega shedding and high school skin, I’m great!

Chemo Journal Day 13

September 24-Day 13

Thirteen must be my lucky number!  It’s 9:10 PM and I’ve not dropped dead.  (Dead tired.)

This is what the girls’ team was up to today, which was much like my “normal” mom Saturdays…

McCanless spent the night with a friend, so MC and I met her at McDonald’s at 9:00 AM for breakfast with her dance team.  (We were a bit late, so I arrived just in time for MC to run wild in the play area for a minute and to change McCanless into dance clothes and drive her to the studio for an all day dance class.)  MC and I went to breakfast at the Rooster with friends, where she decided to go swimming in the fountain.  MC and I headed back home to change her clothes and went back downtown to run a few errands.  We also went to Subway to pick up lunch for McCanless… delivered the lunch, then headed to Walmart for a few necessities….went back home for an hour where I got caught up on a few thank-you notes and MC got caught up on Gnomeo and Juliet, her new favorite movie.  Back to the studio at 2:00 to pick up McCanless.  Drove out to Nonnie’s house to deliver MC for the night.  McCanless and I went home to change for a birthday party in Florence.  Crazy FunDayGo! party from 4-6, where I chatted away with so many friends, not sitting once!  After the party McCanless and I decided to treat ourselves to a little R&R with a mani-pedi.  We’re now home and in the bed, and it’s the first time in 13 days that I can say I felt normal ALL DAY LONG.

Not even the Carolina game on t.v. could keep me up at this point, but I earned this 9:00 PM bedtime tonight!  Yay!

Overall Day 13:  I felt normal all day, not stopping once!

Chemo Journal Day 12

September 23-Day 12

So today, I feel like the weather.

Blah.

I’m tired.  I’m tired of being tired.  Even when my day is going great, I hit a wall at some point of just exhaustion. I trudge on, but I’m just TIRED.

Blah.

PM Update: Okay, so I feel better.  A headache, but overall better.  Still tired, but more like a “it’s been a long, busy week and I’m crashing on Friday” kind of tired.  I do plan on going to bed soon.  (It’s 6:55 PM, McCanless is at a movie with friends and MC is watching Fresh Beat Band and playing air guitar like it’s nobody’s business.  I know she’ll crash soon, too.)

Maybe it was the gross weather that got me down.  Rain and Tired.  Double Whammy.

I’m also realizing that my hair is shedding a little more than it normally would.  Nothing bad at this point.  It’s odd to be waiting, watching for your hair to “let go.”  I’m almost positive my hair has slowed growth, or completely stopped growing all together.  I’ve not shaved my legs in several days because I’ve not needed to.  Kinda nice.  I guess.

Overall Day 12: Not so bad.

Chemo Journal Day 11

September 22-Day 11

Today, I feel great-best yet!  So, today, a few pics of what we’ve been up to…

I know two little chicks super excited about Halloween.

Eeew, I know, but it’s being mailed to Beautiful Lengths, a partnership between Pantene and the American Cancer Society, which makes wigs for women with cancer. And because I have yet to post a photo of me with my new do…

Just Kidding…

Plus, we’re getting another girl in the family.  A brand new niece today!  That makes 6 first cousins for my girls so far, with many more ahead I’m sure!  It’s a great day!

Happy Birthday Leah Brenn!  We love you already and can’t wait to share all of our tutus and costumes with you.  Reese, you can borrow too if you like!

Chemo Journal Day 10-warning stocking’d head below! (rev. 9/22)

September 21-Day 10

Yesterday didn’t get better after my 9 AM journal.  It actually got worse.  I think it was more emotional for me than anything.  I was tired, but more mentally exhausted. Today was better.  In fact, I was busier today than I have been all ten days of chemo, yet tonight I’m not my typical “chemo crabby.”  (Not yet anyway.)  I’ve had no meds at all and I feel fine.  I stopped by SCOA today for blood work and all “looks great.”

I’ve learned, however, that tomorrow may catch up with me.  I may pay for today tomorrow.  We shall see.

Tonight as I drove through a horrendous storm on I20 on my way home from a day of wig shopping, it dawned on me.  The weather was a perfect analogy.

My friend, Donna, who also had her first chemo treatment on September 12, and I spent the better part of today trying on wigs of all shapes, colors and styles. What a surreal experience.  We were in the shop no less than three hours discovering our new norm.  Although we’ve known each other for as long as my McCanless and her Nick were in 2K, we only recently, truly connected.  We chatted non-stop for the hour to Columbia, and while we were shopping and all the way home.  We have so much more in common now than children, carpool and packing lunches.  We share an entire world that we have been thrown into, rather abruptly.

We laughed at the pouf of  “Coconut Almond” and the sassy style of too dark “Mochachino.”  We finally settled on the exact same style in “Marbleized Brown” for me and “Number 12” for her.  She was bummed her color wasn’t as glamorously dubbed as one of our favorites, “Butter Pecan.”

We walked out of the shop confident and scared about our new purchase.  Dark clouds were looming and the breeze picked up.  We both were on the phone making sure our baby chicks were where they needed to be and all was fine on the home front.  As we headed East on I20 after a quick bite,  the storm grew stronger and darker.  The clouds were so beautiful, but frightening.  I had to drive slowly and cautiously, almost unaware of the surrounding vehicles.  We saw several cars on the roadside needing assistance and a few ambulances whizzed by. We both would shutter and gasp at the lightening, yet continued our chatting and laughing, continued our trek.  Almost half way home, we could see where the sun peeked through the darkness and we could tell the end was near.  Soon we even saw a huge rainbow and as we thought we were in the clear, the sky darkened once again.

I’m home now. It’s slowly drizzling outside, finally clearing.

We weathered the storm today, not without worry or fear, realizing along the way that while the road was uncertain we carried on with hope and laughter.

First, we had to “stocking” our heads.  What do you think?

Then, Ms. Wig Fitter narrowed down the hundreds of choices based on what we were looking for.

This is my first attempt to take a photo with my cell in a mirror.  Obviously, not so great, BUT this is one of my favorite wigs.  The “Reagan.”  I also realized in this whole process, that I’m much more suited to be a brunette.  I did dare to don a blonde, but I looked like Malibu Barbie Wanna Be.  I loved a sassy dark red named, “Charlie.”  FYI:  I have much better skin tone with the darker wigs, if you care to know.  My final choice had to be ordered.  I’ll debut when it arrives!

Chemo Journal Day 9

September 20-Day 9

A.M. So, today I feel like I have a chemo-fabulous hangover.

I jumped up and started the day with the girls and the morning rush, excited to wake up to yet another day of energy.  (Despite turning into a complete Halloween witch last night around 7, after my fun-filled and very busy day yesterday.  I need to realize that even if I feel up to a non-chemo feeling day, it will, in fact, catch up to my very chemo filled body and unfortunately, my girls and Mel will take the brunt-Sorry guys!)

This morning once they drove off with lunch boxes, snack bags, dance bags, homework and dry cleaning bag, it hit me hard.  I’m exhausted.

My nurse educator explained that after my few days of yuck from the Nulasta shot with aches and pains in my bones, the next phase will be when my blood cell count will bottom out, simply from the chemo.  (That’s its job.)   I’ll be exhausted.  Once it bottoms out, the Nulasta, which has been hard at work in my bone marrow, will finally show it’s purpose and begin to slowly replenish those cells.  Once those cells are back up I’ll feel better and guess what?  It will be just in time for round two.

I’m hopeful that I’ll bottom out easily and only have a few down days. I’m thrilled because I now know that I’ll have “normal” days during this whole process.  I’ve had a wonderful last three days.  After I recharge this morning, I may have chemo-fabulous day number 4.

Overall Day 9 Although it’s only 9 AM, I can tell today will be a tired one for me.  I’ll try to take it easy today.  I still plan on running a few errands, picking up the girls from school and taking MC to dance, but I’ll rest in between.  (My guess is that I’ll not be full steam ahead until I crash at night as I have been in the last three days.)

No nausea during the day, but if I do wake in the night, I’m always nauseated, so I have been taking nausea meds at night.  I have a few tummy issues.  (TMI, I know, but Ms. Nurse Educator told me this journal is a must.)   I’m still having my occasional skin tingles all over, but mostly on my face and head.  My hips continue to be sore.    Appetite is there, just not as great as it was pre-chemo. MC and I were baking brownie bites yesterday and as we waited for the oven to pre-heat, we dove right into the package for a few brownie dough bites.  I was crushed to realize that they were very bitter to me.  MC, ate my share.  (We were baking them for the letter “B” until I realized that this week she is on “C.”  So instead we sent Candy Corn.  I know Ms. Chure is thrilled with our show-and-tell choices!)

Chemo Jounal Day 8

September 19-Day 8

I could get used to this.  I feel great again today!  Mel had an early meeting, so I was on duty for school delivery and drop-off today.  I felt so great, I stayed at THA until around 12:30.  (Despite no shower, no make-up and the same clothes I slept in last night.  I did throw on my Uggs and a fleece, however.)  I’ve taken a leave of absence for the remainder of the school year, but have yet to formally “train” my replacement.  She certainly needed no training, but I stayed today to show her the ropes.  It was fun to be back at work and incredible to see all of my THA babies.  What a boost to the self-esteem-such sweet kids complimenting me and hugging me all day!

Overall Day 8-I feel great.  I still have a strange taste in my mouth.  No nausea.  Still no nausea meds.  No pain meds.  I do feel like a little old lady at times.  If I’m still for long, my knees and hips get sore or stiff.  I’ve had minor headaches for a couple of days, but nothing requiring medicine.  I’m afraid that what I’m also feeling is what will eventually be signs of hair loss.  I get “skin shivers” or tingles, mostly on my face and scalp.  They feel almost like soft chill bumps or a momentary cool chill.  Another day of chemo-fabulous so far.

Chemo Journal Day 7

September 18-Day 7

So today was another wonderfully typical day in the life of the girls team!  Mel had a meeting this morning which lasted into the afternoon, so the girls’ team headed out alone to Sunday school and church this morning.  Mary Clare sang a bit too loudly, McCanless wrote on one too many offering envelopes, they both escaped out of church and ran into the parking lot as I chatted away with friends after the service, and all was wonderful. Wonderfully typical.  We came home and had leftovers for lunch then spent the rest of the day visiting with grandparents, aunts and friends. I even fit in a grocery store run. We ended the evening cruising around the neighborhood on the back of Mr. Frank’s 4-wheeler.  Hot dogs for dinner and the girls are in bed asleep at 8:00.  It’s been a super day!

Overall Day 7 Chemo-fabulous.

Chemo Journal-Day 6

September 17-Day 6

A.M. Wow, I woke up this morning and just had to journal before the day got “officially” started.  I feel great today!  It’s only 8:37 A.M. and I’m showered and dressed and I’ve been to the mail box!   (So, my “get ready” time has drastically been cut in half due to my short new do, but that’s okay, because I love it.  My hair, that is.  I love it.)

I just knew today was going to be full of energy and activity, however, I was quickly reminded that I’m not quite up to par, as my brisk walk to the mail box left me winded and tired.  I’m now taking a break, like a good little girl.  Just as my body told me to.  I’m super excited to be in less pain  and have energy today to actually live a little.  It may be just bundled up in my house with the girls team on this chilly day, but at least I feel up to it!  Yay for Saturdays!

P.M. So, I’m taking another “Mommy time-out.”  Today has been great.   I consider it successful.  It’s 4:10 and this is my first “break.”  Mel, MC and I went to the Rooster this morning for breakfast. After breakfast, he headed to work and I took MC to the doctor.  She’s been coughing like crazy, so I finally took her in. (I was a bit nervous being out alone-images of my experience just yesterday flooded my mind.  Passing out in the pediatricians office is not something I ever want to do.  Ever-that’s just gross.)

Lucky day, we had no wait.  Zilch.  None.  Crazy.  In and out and shopping for candy corn at Wal-greens in less than 15 minutes.   Later on, McCanless arrived at home (after spending the night with Nonnie) just in time for a newly downloaded Winnie-the-Pooh Heffalump movie, one of my favorite Halloween movies.  We’ve played around the house.  We’ve been outside.  I’ve done laundry. They’ve ruined the house.  Wonderfully, typical.   Now, the girls are probably wreaking havoc in the neighborhood  somewhere.  I told them to give me 15 minutes to sit.  Hopefully, they are in our yard.

I’m tired, but not much more than I probably would feel on a busy but lazy Saturday afternoon. Mel will be home in time for the Carolina game tonight and we’re having Mom’s New England Clam Chowder, my favorite.  A glorious typical Saturday!  Go Cocks!

Overall Day 6 Chemo-Fabulous!

Chemo Journal- Day 5

September 16-Day 5

I’ve realized a few things today.  Like hair, aches and fatigue, moments in time are temporary.  This morning, as crazy as it sounds, I cried when I shampooed my long hair for the last time.  Then I cried when Mel laughed at me for being melodramatic.

“You’ll still have hair to wash tomorrow.”

He truly wasn’t insensitive.  Like I’ve said before, we make each other laugh.  It’s what we do.  Today, temporarily, I forgot that.  After my hair appointment was all said and done,  and every lady in The Plaza (and Mel) ohh’d and ahh’d over my short new do, I realized it wasn’t such a big deal.  It’s only hair.  And I kinda like it.  Truly, the anticipation of my hair cut was more than the actual cut itself.  It’s not my favorite do, but it will do.  (For a few weeks at least.)  I’ve always wanted to try a short cut.  What an opportunity?  How many people can temporarily try out a new hair style?  Me.  It was more of a rite of passage, anyway.

I have also realized today that no matter what I want my body to do, it will tell me what it needs and follow suit.  I so wanted to have lunch with Mel and spend a bit of time with him today.  We walked into a restaurant and immediately the music was too loud.  I was dizzy.  I was tired.  I was so exhausted at that very moment, I just had to go back to the car.  When he came back with our to-go boxes, I cried.  I didn’t even make it to Target.  Target!  Never have I ever given up such an opportunity.  I so could have milked it with Mel.  Poor pitiful me, having to cut my hair and feeling low would have been the golden ticket at Target today.  I couldn’t even muster up the energy to keep my chair upright.

This is only temporary.  My hair is short.  My hair will fall out.  I will feel good.  I will feel bad.  Temporarily.  I was hoping my hip aches would end yesterday, yet they continue on.  Those aren’t quite as temporary as I had hoped.

Today my friends cried with me when I shared with them that I was cutting my hair.  We cried, then we laughed at how ludicrous that is.  Ash even sent photos of me with various bad hair from the decades.  Temporarily horrid styles.

Overall Day 5 My hair is now short, thanks to my own choice, not chemo.  I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of my girls, they have yet to see me today. “Bubba” (my dad-nickname given by McCanless) shaved his own head.  His own choice, much to my mother’s dismay.  Today is the first cool day of fall.  My neck feels it for the first time, ever.  My hips ache, my ribs ache. I have slight shortness of breath.  Little nausea. No nausea meds!  Advil for pain.  Short bursts of energy, followed by exhaustion.  Slowly coming to terms that my body is tired and needs to heal.  Quickly coming to terms that this is temporary.

Chemo Journal-Day 4

September 15-Day 4

Wow, has it been 4 days?  In some ways that sounds crazy and in others it feels like an eternity.  I woke up this morning more uncomfortable physically, but a little more ready for what lies ahead emotionally.  I just have to get used to this.  This is my temporary new normal.  Accept and go on.

(You know I’m no doctor, nurse or any other medical know-it-all, so take what I say as only a non-medicalish person will.)  Yesterday, I ached in my upper body, today it’s been in my back, chest, hips and knee areas.  I swear the Nulasta shot that I had on Day 2 started in my upper body and has slowly spread down.  Crazy, I know.  I suspect my ankles and feet to be sore tomorrow, but let’s hope not.  Today, even breathing deeply causes soreness and just moving wears me out.  I’ve never napped so much in my life.  However, spiritually, I feel better.  Yesterday, I felt defeated.  Today, I’ve realized that I have to accept and move on.  I think this helps tremendously.  Sure, I’m going to hurt.  But this is temporarily.  My body is kicking some major cancer booty right now, which is kicking my booty right now too.  I can deal.  I just have to be patient.

Overall Day 4: No nausea.  No nausea meds.  Advil for pain.  Sore throat, back, hips and knees.  Better spirits!  Everything still tastes weird.  (Except tomato basil soup from Midnight Rooster, thanks mom!)  Lots of naps today.  Very tired.  Tomorrow is Friday. I have a hair cut with my girl, Becky!  Looking forward to a fabulous weekend with a short new do.  I hope I have the energy to enjoy a bit of cooler weather.

Chemo Journal-Day 3

September 14-Day 3

a.m. This morning, I woke up in tears.  I think the emotional impact of what is happening to me has hit.  Mel actually woke up first and started getting the girls together.  (This has never happened.  I’m always the one hitting the floor full steam ahead while asking him a thousand times to get up-I sing, I joke, then I fuss.)  His thoughtfulness this morning was truly amazing.  McCanless noticed that I was teary, and it broke my heart to see her worry about me.  Mary Clare was Mary Clare, fussing about what she did not want to wear, how she insisted her hair look, refusing to potty, etc.  She didn’t notice a thing.

As the girls team sat together on my bed, I brushed their hair and my tears poured. I want to take them to school, to dance afterwards, to Wednesday night church.  My heart aches to do these things, but my body is not allowing me to do anything but move slowly around my house.  Today, I feel trapped. Emotionally and physically.  I’ve taken my pain meds, because I just ache in my shoulders, neck and head.  I tried to brush my teeth and the toothpaste tasted like thick sugar gum.  Coffee is about the only thing that somewhat seems normal today.  I’m hoping after a nap I’ll muster up the energy for a quick walk.  I always enjoy being outside.

p.m. Today was a long day, but guess what? I made it.  My body ached some, but what hurt most today was the the cold hard realization that this is going to be a tough road. One that I’ve been fighting tooth and nail.  It’s hard to admit that my heartaches far outweighed my body aches today.  I’m not one to sit and allow things to pass along, so it’s excruciating to just be and allow all of this to happen.  Maybe this is God’s way of telling me to chill out and just be.  I need not worry about trivial matters.

Today, was a great lesson for me.  As soon as I journaled I was having a rough morning, my phone started ringing, friends stopped by and blessing after blessing flowed my way.  I relished in each and every one of them.  I am surrounded.

Overall Day 3:  Not much nausea-just a pit of stomach ick.  Took one nausea med this morning.  Advil and Claritin at night.  Nothing tastes the same.  Headache, upper back, neck and shoulder aches. Stiff upper body.  I took a nap with Mary Clare around 2:30-4, but otherwise kept up most of the day. Brief outside ventures to get fresh air.  Doable.

Chemo Journal-Day 2

September 13-Day 2

So, this morning I jumped out of bed glad to be finally free of my fish bowl feeling and I hit the ground running.  After calling my nursing friend extraordinaire, April, to administer my Neulasta painlessly-Sorry Mel I do love you,but I just had to call in a professional.  “This is great,” I thought,  “Maybe I’ll be one of the lucky ones with little to no side effects.  Surely on the day after treatment I shouldn’t feel bad anyway, right?”  WRONG.  After my shower, sweep through the house, and a Wal-mart run, I literally couldn’t make it to my house, so I stopped by my mom’s office and crashed on her couch for about 30 minutes.  Once I pried myself off of her couch, I came home and crashed again on my couch.  (disclaimer:  I have never once in all my years, have ever taken a nap on my couch, alone in my house without one of my children.)  I finally jumped up to check on the time.  2:30!  Mary Clare gets out of school at 2:15!  I jumped up, zoomed to school and gathered my chicks.  As typical, Mary Clare fell asleep in the car and McCanless and I tackled homework in peace once we arrived at home.  Mom came by to get MC for dance  at 4:45 and McCanless went with them.  Whew!  I was able to sit for a minute again.  Thankfully, we’ve had such gracious friends offer dinner each night, which has been such a huge help. What a blessing!  The girls are in the bed, Mel’s at a City council meeting and I’m just about to crash once again!

Overall Day 2: No nausea! No nausea meds! No pain meds! Hair still intact!  (I did take my Claritin for the Neulasta, however.)  Happy that my spirits are up. Thankful for gracious and thoughtful friends who surround me with love and support.  Bummed that I couldn’t do as much as I would like to have done.  Realization that my good days on chemo are not the same as my good days NOT on chemo.  Lesson learned.

Chemo Journal-Treatment Day 1

September 12-Treatment Day 1

I’ve been sluggish all day.  Feel kinda like my heads in a cloud.  (Like MC on a typical day.)  No nausea!  And am even more thrilled that I have chosen to work with the staff at SCOA.  If I wasn’t convinced until today, I am S.O.L.D.  Hands-down, the best place to be (under these circumstances, that is.)  First thing this morning, I was met by a familiar face who has known me since I was McCanless’s age.  (Remember, Cyndi, my kindergarten BFF?)  Cyndi’s dad walked up, dressed to the nines in his bright pink shirt with a smile that could melt the room.  So cheerful and happy.  A cancer survivor who volunteers his time each Monday along with so many other happy volunteers and nurses.  This place is kickin’  Even the music was great!  I’m a lucky girl!

On my throne at SCOA

By the way, I’m totally a sunlight girl and have bribed everyone here to reserve me a chair on the wall of windows overlooking the brook and bird feeders.  (If I do ever wake up during these things, I at least want to see outside.)


My view today, peeking over my fabulous new quilt.

Guy on my right was hilarious for the first 10 minutes, before he conked out.  Girl in the middle came in asleep and stayed that way, and girl on my far left ate Sour Patch Kids, and kept laughing and rolling her eyes at the guy on the end.  It was all very funny and surreal.  Once I realized I was the only one up, Nurse Crazy Fun, came up and shot with me with extra Benadryl-ish stuff.  I swear I asked her if it was Roofies.  I was out cold in 10 seconds and remember NOT A THING.  Mel swears I ate 8 chicken nuggets from Chick Fil A.  I beg to differ.

I digress…I’m going to pull a C-card and say that I’m already in chemo brain mode.  (I know it’s probably WAY too early to pull that out, but I’ll try it out to see how it feels.)  I know I’m a bit scattered, but here is how the day went…

Mel and I arrived at SCOA around 9:30, after I ate a fruit and yogurt parfait, we checked in, paid co-pay, I had blood draws (again super easy and painless), waited to make sure I was a go and by 10:30, I was getting my port accessed.  I was a bit nervous about that, but it turns out, our two chemo nurses LOVE to make everyone comfortable, all the time.  She squirted my port area with a  biofreeze-type cold spray, and before I knew it, I was being pumped up with my cocktail du jour.  She gave me something to make me groggy, which she thought would make me sleep.  When that didn’t work, she knocked me out cold with a super duper Benedryl  (Note to self:  MUST find this stuff for my girls.)  Within 10 seconds of her socking it to me, I was out.  Cold.  Until 4:30. Honestly I was the ONLY one in the room when I woke up.  Last man standing, or sleeping, I guess.

Mel resumed his post on his mac and I slept.  No thank you notes written, no new kindle books read.  No phone conversations for me.  We left and I was hungry, so we stopped by Krispy Kreme and I ate THREE chocolate donuts.  THREE.  No appetite loss here, girls.

It’s 11 pm and I’m tired and groggy but its been a great evening.  Earlier, McCanless came over to visit, before heading over to my moms, and Mel and I had to go out to get my arsenal of drugs from CVS, so we stopped my his mom’s to see Clare.  She was doing fantastic.  Both girls are certainly not lacking attention at this point.

Here’s what I was told to expect:  After Mel administers my Neulasta shot tomorrow morning, I’ll need to take  Claritin.  (Number 1:  I’m super thrilled about Mel giving me a shot.  Should be fun.  Number 2:  I have NO idea what Claritin has to do anything with the pain from this shot- I think I’ll do a little research tonight.)  Apparently, I’ll have soreness and aches and joint pain (Flu-like symptoms) for a few days after my shot.  (Neulasta is a white cell booster-it gets them going to help fight infection, as you understand chemo kills everything in it’s path apparently, and I really need to keep those white ones around!)  I also have two oral meds for nausea, one makes me sleep, the other can keep me awake.  Once I get over the flu-like symptoms, my nurse said then the fatigue will hit, as my blood count will be lowest during that second week.  When week three rolls around I’ll be feeling better by the day and just as soon as I feel normal again, I’ll have my next treatment.  So, Mel’s planning a fall neighborhood front yard party for one of those good weeks-in honor of no one, just because he wants to.  Maybe that’s what he did all day.  I have no clue.

Sidenote 9/13:  After realizing Mel has no clue about medicine, I decided this morning to call my friend and nurse extraordinaire, April, to administer my Neulasta.  Painless!  Best decision yet.

Overall Day 1: Feeling loved, and surrounded and very optimistic that this will not hold me down (too long anyway)!


THA Hat Rally for Cancer

The morning of my first chemo treatment, the girls went with Mimi to school for an early morning Hat Rally in my honor, complete with crazy hats and wigs and pink donuts!  Rosemary graciously hosted it and thought it would be a fun way for them to remember this day.  Rosemary and her mom completely outdid themselves as usual.  (Rosemary is a dear friend, and McCanless’s life goal is to grow up and become “what Belle’s (Ms. Rosemary) mom does.” Ms. Rosemary is the best school cheerleader, decorator, event planner and PTO president ever!

Mimi was able to snap a few photos with her cell phone of the girls when she dropped them off at THA!  Looks like fun!

9/11

My nurse educator suggested that I keep a journal of my first chemo treatment and the days following.  She explained that the effects of each treatment will most likely follow the same pattern.  She also mentioned that treatments will take on a snowball effect.  The side effects of each one will not lessen, as I would have though, but they will progressively get worse. I know it will be a long post, but I plan on keeping each day on one page and updating it.  I doubt I’ll keep a journal for each treatment, but at least I’ll have the very first to compare.

September 11– The eve of my first chemo treatment.  Anxious. Ready to get started. At this point, I’m embarrassed to say I’m more worried about my hair than anything.  I’ve tucked the girls into bed.  Mel is dozing on the couch beside me and I’m watching a 9/11 documentary on the History Channel.  All day, I’ve felt surrounded.  Surrounded by love, prayers, support. Today I feel so very loved.

We’ve been busy.  This morning, Mel rushed out the door early to speak at at prayer breakfast at a local church, and the girls and I hurriedly dressed for church.  As I got ready, the girls happened to turn on the television.  A&E was showing a real-time documentary on the events of 9/11.  McCanless sat entranced. (It was as if she were witnessing the events exactly as they happened-I was instantly thrown back into my 6th grade Literature class at THA 10 years ago, before McCanless was even born.)  I sat down with her and we talked about what happened that day.  Even Mary Clare was curious as to why the “mean men wanted to knock down the ‘Kuge’ Castles.”  Eventually, a simple “the devil made them do it” was enough for her.  We missed Sunday school, but the conversations McCanless and I had surrounding the documentary were lessons that her little mind craved after watching the terrorist attacks.  I know the battle I’m facing with cancer is indeed a challenge, but as we sat and watched thousands of people hurting, grieving, it made everything clear.  Everyone suffers.  Everyone aches.  It’s what you do out of that pain and suffering that matters most.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure!

Can I just tell you how amazingly talented my girlfriends are?  Unique, artistic, business savvy, creative, completely passionate busy people they are-and moms to top it all off!  Meg, Rosemary and Reagan are a few that have spearheaded a Positively Pink campaign in Hartsville (in honor of yours truly) to raise money solely for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation! And if you don’t know about the Susan G. Komen Foundation

(From Komen.com:  Susan G. Komen Foundation is the global leader of the breast cancer movement, having invested more than $1.9 billion since inception in 1982. As the world’s largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists, we’re working together to save lives, empower people, ensure quality care for all and energize science to find the cures. Thanks to events like the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure® and the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure®, and generous contributions from our partners, sponsors and fellow supporters, we have become the largest source of nonprofit funds dedicated to the fight against breast cancer in the world.)

If you have been living under a rock and don’t know that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month, you really should get out more.  In August, Meg, owner of Juice Haute Kids Couture, creative fashionista extraordinaire and mom of three adorable girls, declared her first marathon would be in honor of me,  as I was newly diagnosed with breast cancer.  If you know Meg, you know she goes big or goes home.  From that one gesture, which has snowballed, she has made it her mission to raise awareness and raise funds for the Susan G. Komen Foundation with quite a lofty and very pinkalicous goal.  As soon as she gathered her team of girls, they quickly got to work creating the Positively Pink campaign which will hit the streets of Hartsville soon.  (I can’t wait to buy a t-shirt!)

Each and every penny raised will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

Notice the half pink heart? Didn’t I tell you I have amazing friends?

This amazing quilt was made by a dear friend.

She’s my age, a busy mom of two young children about the ages of my own girls,

and has listened.

She understands because she, too, was diagnosed with cancer just recently.  She found time to create this quilt for me while going through her own struggles.  Just for me.  A gift I will treasure forever, not only because it’s extraordinarily beautiful, but because it was made by her.

Tub conversations…

Many nights, I take long baths with one of my girls.  We sit in pink or purple or blue water, play with Barbies, wash each others hair and just chat about life, homework, friends.

Tonight, Mary Clare decided to take a bath with me.  We chatted about school this week, and her new Bible class on Wednesday nights at First Baptist Church.  She explained that she needed to take her Bible next week to make her teacher happy, but she said she would rather go to her “real church” to see God.  (I assumed she thought Father Michael from our own church was God, as McCanless thought so many years ago.)

Before I went on to explain that Father Michael was not God, I asked her where she thinks God lives.

Her little voice replied, “God lives in your heart” and I almost teared up realizing that she actually learned a few things at her new Bible class.

A few minutes later as we sat in our purple water, she glared up at my port area, as if to notice it for the first time.

With her eyes huge and questioning she pointed to my port, which protrudes out pretty far, and asked me,

“Is God poking his finger out of you?”

Super charged, wonder woman power port installed!

Nope, this isn’t my actual port, it’s a photo of a port on Wikipedia.com

So, I’m not feeling super charged or wonder woman-like right now at all, but having a little metal portal for power drugs makes me feel like I should.  The photo above depicts a port (which is about the size of a quarter and implanted under my skin) and the assembly (the square with tube and needle-this is how the chemo drugs are delivered right into the port)  Apparently, it’s necessary to have a port “to deliver chemotherapy to cancer patients who must undergo treatment frequently.  Chemotherapy is often toxic, and can damage skin and muscle tissue, and therefore should not be delivered through these tissues.  Portacaths provide a solution, delivering drugs quickly and efficiently through the entire body via the circulatory system.” Love, Wikipedia.

The port is under my skin on my right chest area just under my clavicle.  It’s a reservoir compartment, with a silicone bubble (for the needle) and a catheter, which runs directly into a vain.  When I go to SCOA for my treatments, they’ll pop that needle right in and serve me up.  I’ve heard they will spray the skin above the port with a bit of anesthetic numbing spray until it toughens up, but when I showed Mel the above photo, he said, “Damn, that looks like a nail.”  Thanks, Sweetie, for always keeping it real.

This photo is not of me, but an image of a chest x-ray with an implanted port.

I had my own chest x-ray after my procedure today to make certain of placement, but didn’t receive the film, nor do I even remember it.  Too bad.  The only thing I remember about today is guiltily admitting to the nurse anesthetist of having a bite of McCanless sausage link this morning, and being rolled down the hallway into the surgical suite and telling Mel I felt like I needed glasses.  The next thing I knew I was being rolled back into recovery asking my sweet nurse if she was pregnant.  (Did I really break the Cardinal Rule of Women? She was, in fact, pregnant.  Whew!)

This is the photo I texted to friends and family on our way home to let them know I survived! The grimace isn’t from pain, as I was still feeling my happy drugs, it’s from the huge bandage and yellow skin around it.

I have a bandage covering my port area and a swollen, bruised neck.  It’s sore like you wouldn’t believe and burns like crazy.  One nurse told me that Dr. Sweatman would be pulling, and nudging and pushing my port into place, so I imagine that’s why it’s crazy sore. Not sure about my neck.  I’m looking forward to going to bed tonight, although I’m sure there’s nothing quite like a metal grommet pressing into your chest to keep you up.

As only a mom would, I swore I could get the girls fed, bathed, homeworked and in the bed all by stiff-necked self, as Mel had a council meeting until late.  I made it through Spelling and had MC in the tub when I had to break down and call my mom.  MC sat “soaking” until Nonnie arrived to save the day.  (Thanks, mom.  MC may have turned into a mermaid had you not come to my rescue.)

I’m sure I’m still “enjoying” the effects of the hospital drugs and tomorrow I’ll hit a wall, but guess what?  One more procedure down!

At least she’s honest…

Who’s who…

My oncologist, Dr. Butler

When Dr. Sweatman said he was the best, he meant it.  Mel’s dad brought a Greater Columbia Business Monthly journal over this week.  Guess who I found listed in 2011 Best Doctor’s (SC’s Top Physicians-focusing on treating and curing cancer)?  Most of the doctors in the journal were from South Carolina Oncology Associates, in fact.    Not only was Dr. Butler featured, my favorite nurse of all time was also interviewed and pictured.

Nurse Navigator, Dottye.

Just another journal entry…

It’s quiet in my house, and that means I have too much time to think.  I’m waiting on the girls to get home from the beach with Nonnie.  They left yesterday morning and are due back any minute.  Mom wanted to take Mary Clare to the Mermaid show at Ripley’s Aquarium.  She said MC sat in awe and completely mesmerized throughout the show, while McCanless kept rolling her eyes, telling her that mermaids were NOT real.  (Although, she told Nonnie after the show that she had the best day ever.)  Typical.

They had a fun evening last night at the aquarium and then hit the Pavilion rides at Broadway.  Today, the ocean was a bit rough, so they didn’t stay out long.

Even though it’s only been one night, I miss them terribly.  Although they drive me nuts some days, I miss them so when they aren’t around.  It’s almost 9 pm, so I’m sure Nonnie will need tomorrow to re-coup.  Good thing it’s Labor Day.

I’ve been reading Lucky Duck Hits Speed Bump a lot recently.   It’s truly remarkable how much better I feel just reading about my new blogging friend’s journey through breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, and still being able to be a mommy to two young girls and a wife to her hubby.  She is very open and honest and takes her treatment on full-steam ahead with humor and laughter.  She makes it clear that she understands how it’s a sensitive matter and some don’t feel comfortable being open and tongue-in-cheek.  It’s how she deals, though.  It’s how I deal.  I’m go glad to have her.

It’s easier for me to explain everything up front and tell my story once, right here.  I, like my friend, want to get it out in the open.  Why be ashamed?  Why leave an elephant in the room?  Cancer is a big deal, but it’s all around.  It evokes so many emotions and so many different reactions.  It’s interesting; I’ve learned who is curious about facts, who is sensitive, who only wants to know dates, who I can joke with, etc.   I love being open and answering questions that I know.

And if you want to know, but don’t want to ask, here’s what’s on my mind right now…

-Right now, I’m mostly thinking about my girls.  I so wish I would have been able to have the surgery/radiation route.  It would have been much easier to keep them from worrying about me.  Obviously, loosing my hair will be a pretty drastic change in my appearance.  They will notice that.  (I know that both of my girls aren’t really detail oriented, but if they miss that, I’ll have to call Ms. Irene, for sure, and get to work on that ASAP.)

-I’ve been very honest with both of them.  We’ve been talking about cancer and chemotherapy for a few weeks.  I’ve explained every detail and every step to them.  They know that the medicine that will kill the cancer will also make me tired and will make my hair fall out.  As I explained this to Mary Clare one night, she looked up at me with a smirk, laughed, tugged my hair, and said, “It’s not going anywhere, Mom.”  Needless to say, we’ve got a bit more convincing to do with her.  I just don’t want it to be a shock.

-My biggest fear is that I’ll not have the energy to be the mom I want to be.

-My second biggest fear is that my girls will be afraid of me.

-You know our generation of parents is so accommodating and is so paranoid of “screwing up” our children.  Count me in.  I just don’t want this to change who they are for the worse.  I know it will be a huge part of our family’s story.  It will change each of us.  I just hope I can help them through it all and that the impact it will have will not be a negative one.  Sometimes, I feel that McCanless grew up way too quickly as she watched, lived through her baby sister’s journey with a half-heart.  She learned tough lessons the hard way.  She learned to understand things beyond her years.  She became independent and understanding at a young age.  She learned that sometimes, life isn’t fair, but we keep going.  And again, that’s what we’ll do.  We’ll get through this, and we’ll keep on truckin’!

Cheers! Pet Scan Day is over!


I just woke up from a four hour nap.  Wow.  I’ve not done that in, oh, ever.

So I had my PET scan today.  I had to eat protein yesterday.  No carbs, no sugar for two days.  If you know me, you know I live on sugar and carbs.  (Not good, I know, but I just can’t help it.)  I love fish and yogurt, but I’m not a huge fan of big of chunks of meat. Truth be known, dessert is my food of choice.   I’ve been known to eat dessert for meals, in fact.  Apparently, cancer loves sugar as much as I do.  It lives on it. Bummer.

I was to deprive my body of sugars, so that when I sucked down my Barium Berry Cocktail today, which is glucose water with a kick, the cancer would suck it up, making the radioactive chemical that was in me, glow. (This is medical lingo at its finest, people.)

I showed up at SCOA after not eating for 17 hours, kissed Mel goodbye and headed to the LL, Lower Level.  LL, is a dark basement type of area at the huge oncology center.  I followed all of the bright yellow RADIOACTIVE signs and met a wonderfully pleasant medicalish guy.  Not sure if he was a doctor, nurse, tech or what, but he gave me an IV.  It was the fastest, easiest, most pleasant IV I’ve ever had.  I would have kissed him, but I am married, and I knew he would probably have thought I was crazy.  I’m usually great about sticks and pokes, but I’ve felt like a human pin cushion lately, so it was super nice to have that part super easy.

He walked me to my “closet” to sit and wait.  It was a tiny dim room with a recliner, lamp, books and television.  Dr. Nice Guy also brought me several warm blankets.  I liked him even more, as I’m always freezing in SCOA.  (I’ve learned to take along a jacket with each visit.)

He walked in with gloves, foot covers and a cart carrying a metal case with my glow drug.  After he dosed me up, he removed the IV.  I had it in no longer than 10 minutes.  Really.  Ten minutes, tops.  Then he left me with my cup of warm, watered-down milk of magnesium-like cocktail.  I was to finish my Berry Barium and wait  for one hour in my closet until I became a glow worm.

I decided to ration my time.  I sat in the quiet and texted friends for a while.  When I finally turned on the TV, TLC’s A Baby Story was on.  A woman in labor with triplets was on-full screen.  Well this could be worse, I joked to myself.  So, I turned off the tv and dozed for a minute.  Before I knew it, Dr. Nice Guy was back in to take me to the imaging room.

After another little nap in my tunnel, I was done.  Amazing.  They did a CT scan and a PET scan.  The actual process took no more than 40 minutes.    I was out the door and heading to The Gourmet Shop in no time!

It hit me on the ride home.  BLAH.  I honestly think I was sick from not eating for so many hours coupled with the taste of my “Berry Cocktail” that would NOT leave me.  I typically eat several small meals/snacks throughout the day, so I think my body was in shock.  I had a rough ride home, and crashed as soon as I walked in the door.  Of course, it’s almost 10 pm now and I’m wide awake, but the good news is,  my PET scan is over.

The girls are with grands.  Apparently, I’m radioactive for 18 hours, so they are away for the night to be safe.  I’ll call tomorrow morning to schedule my appointment with Dr. Butler to review results, possibly meeting as early as tomorrow afternoon.  I’m off until Tuesday, when I’ll have my chemo port placed with Dr. Sweatman.  I’m looking forward to a few days of not having to drive to Columbia.

Prestwood pool is calling our names.  It’s officially the last weekend of Summer I’m sad to say, but we’ve got lots planned!  I’m glad the PET scan is over, so we can focus on more important things like which bathing suit to wear and what ice cream to choose from the Yummy Truck.  (I think I’ll skip any form of a berry cocktail this weekend, however.)

One procedure closer to ringing that bell!

UPDATED-Sept 2, 2011:  I got a call from SCOA and my PET scan is clear!!  (All except for the breast cancer, that is!)  Great news!

What I know.

Tomorrow, August 31st, McCanless has ballet class. I have Chemo 101.

Thursday, September 1st, I’ll have a PET scan. Friday, I have off.

Tuesday, September 6th, Dr. Sweatman will place my chemo port-outpatient.

Monday, September 12th, I will have my first of six planned chemo treatments.

Six treatments. Three weeks between each treatment.

Eighteen weeks of treatment

ending before the new year.

Following treatments, I will have surgery.

Dr. Sweatman was right, Dr. Butler is non-fuzzy. Wonderfully, non-fuzzy.

I do non-fuss, non-fuzzy.

Yesterday, I was ready.

Today, I realized how naive I am.

If you’ve never been in an oncologist hospital,

it’s a sobering place.

I thought I was ready.

I thought I knew what chemo was about.

I thought I could take this on,

head on.

Today, I’m scared.

Today, I visited a place I know I’ll grow to love and hate.

Today, I hurt for everyone who has ever had cancer.

Today, I ache for everyone who will face it.

Today, Mel and I discussed who would care for my girls if I couldn’t,

or wasn’t around,

a conversation I never thought we’d have so soon.

Today, I’m not so sure I’m ready, but here it is.

P.S. After I originally wrote this post, I clicked on a new blog friend’s website. Ironically, she had her very last chemo treatment at SCOA today, ending her journey as I was touring SCOA for the very first time today.She has done it. She was right here where I am eighteen weeks ago. She has worked with Dr. Sweatman, Dr. Butler, and she did it. Posted is a video of her with her twin baby girls “ringing the bell” as a mark of the end of her journey. Cheers to you, my new friend! Well done! www.luckyduckhitsspeedbump.blogspot.com. I can’t wait for the day I, too, can ring that bell!

What do you think?

This morning around 10ish I received a call from Dr. Brooks, the geneticist on the “boob board,” with my BRCA 1/BRCA 2 genetic testing.  (Remember, this is the genetic study that checked “me” not “my tumor.”  Drum roll please……Genetically, I’m gold.  (Well, in the area of breast and/or ovarian cancer anyway.)  This means I’m not predisposed to “grow” tumors.  I do NOT have the BRCA1/BRCA 2 mutation!  Yay, I thought.  However, my geneticist reminded me of what I realized last week.  This is good news for Mary Clare and McCanless.  (I can’t pass along a faulty gene if I don’t have it.)  But, it leaves the unanswered question:  Why?  Why in the world does a healthy 34 year old, with no family history or crazy mutated gene have breast cancer?   I think this is what kills these doctors, oncologists, geneticists, surgeons.  They can’t explain it.  There is no reason.  I just have it.

I swear I’m buying a lottery ticket tomorrow.

Then around 2:00, Dr. Sweatman called. (On his vacation week, I might add, yet still called me, himself.)  I so love this man.  Rephrase, I have so grown to love this man.  He said my Oncotype DX results were in.  (Remember, this is the study of the biological activity of my actual tumor.  The tumor was given a score between 0 and 100 that correlates with the likelihood of a my chances of having my cancer return, and the likelihood that I will benefit from adding chemo to the treatment plan.)

I was sitting on the bench under the front breezeway at THA, my second home, watching parents eagerly walk in to gather their babies or stop by the office to chat with congregating mama hens.  Where I’ve taught, worked, loved for as long as I’ve been married.  Students watched me learn to be a better teacher, grow huge with the pregnancies of my own two baby girls.  The place where I remember parading through the high school halls in a huge homemade Jack-O-lantern costume on Halloween as a third grader, loving art class because I sat beside my best friend, Cyndi Hill, as a new kindergartener.  The school that simply adores Mary Clare and gathered to pray all decked out in pink on March 30, 2011.  So many memories in this little school.

You know how you just know?  The sound of someone’s voice is such a tell-all.  I know I’m not the first person he’s had to give these type of results to before.  I may be the one millionth for all I know.  But, I think it’s just human insight to know.  To feel it.  We can all read between the lines, between the words.  As he began to tell me what I feared most, my mind wasn’t on the specifics of numbers, oncologist information or well-wishes, it was in a state of shock.  I think it took my brain a few minutes to digest it all.  Did I really hear that?  Maybe I’m misunderstanding.

Dr. Sweatman was honest, straightforward and very reassuring.  He explained that my Oncotype DX results were not low (no benefits of having chemo) nor were they in the high range (straight to chemo).  I’m in the intermediate range, but given all of my results, thorough information and questionable onset, Dr. S feels chemo will be what is best.  Since chemotherapy it is, surgery will be postponed until after chemotherapy.  It’s likely that chemo will shrink the tumor making surgery less invasive.  Fingers crossed.  He referred me to Dr. Butler in Columbia with SC Oncology Associates, who is also on the boob board. Dr. Sweatman “warned me” that Dr. Butler isn’t a “warm and fuzzy” doctor.  He’s very honest and straightforward in his approach.  “Now, don’t be alarmed,” which was all hysterical coming from Dr. S, when so many others “warned” me the same about him.  It was nice little jewel, this inside joke.  It made me laugh when I so wanted to cry.

Originally, he scheduled a surgery date of September 7.  I didn’t “pen-in” this date because I knew it could change.  It was a tentative date of a lumpectomy.  I would have had my lumpectomy followed by radiation treatment.  That would have been the best case scenario.  But, just like I always tell Mary Clare, “you can’t always get what you want.”  So, September 7 surgery date has been swiped.

Mel and I will head to our favorite capital city tomorrow morning to meet the man who will juice me up with a cancer cocktail plan.  I have the utmost respect for Dr. Sweatman and I just feel that what he is doing is exactly what I need.  He said Dr. Butler is the best, so I’m going with that, non-fuzzy and all. Hopefully, we’ll have Chemo 101, get a time frame and schedule and possibly a ball park idea of a new surgery date.

Not what I was hoping, but after a quick and very therapeutic three minute cry with a few friends at THA, (Dr. S called just as I was heading into carpool) and a few laughs about a pink wig and sign-up sheet for those who wanted to drive me to treatments, I realize God has given me all I need to get through this:  lots of laughter and tons of love.

At 3:00,  I made another realization.  I had four giggly girls staring at me who needed to get changed and rushed through homework so I could haul them to dance by 4:00!  Dance, Mexican, Wal-Mart run (sans girls-once Mel came home from a late meeting) and I’m home.  Life as usual carries on.  This will not keep me down.  I’ve had my three minute cry and I’m done.

Tonight, I’m bracing myself for my non- fuzzy oncologist, Dr. Butler.

I’m ready.

Way to go, girls team!

I’m sitting on the porch this morning enjoying the cooler breeze that Hurricane Irene brings.  The house is quiet as the girls and Mel recover from a week of early mornings.  The weather is so odd.  It was simply gorgeous last night with a Pinkalicious sky.  In fact, Mary Clare was in her black kitty costume singing at the top of her lungs “PINK-A-LIIIIIIIIIICIOUS” on the front porch for quite a while.  Then it became very cool and breezy.

Same this morning.  The sun peeked in my window early, waking me.  As I grabbed my coffee and headed to the front porch, it became dark and cloudy.  The cooler wind is nice, but I can’t help but feel for everyone north of us.  I vividly remember Hurricane Hugo and it’s a scary, destructive force.

I love mornings.  It gives me time to reflect.  (And desperately needed quiet time alone-even if it is only 20 minutes.)  I’m so proud of my girls.  Here are a few comments I’ve received this week:

“Mary Clare is a pleaser.  She has an amazing imagination and is our class teenager.” Ms. Chure, Mary Clare’s 4K teacher

“McCanless is so well-rounded. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it.” -Ms. Vonne, McCanless’ first grade teacher

“McCanless is a gem. She has a great sense of humor.  She’s that child that ‘gets it.’  I always have one in every class.  She’s the one I can make eye contact with and we laugh together about something that goes over the other kids’ heads.” -Ms. Jenner, McCanless’s 2nd grade teacher

I’m just like every other mom out there.  I think my children are amazing and wonderful and completely perfect.  (Most of the time, that is.) But, I do warn their teachers every year how, ahem, “Mel” they can be and how NOT perfect they truly are, like both of us.  (wink, wink)  It’s fun to hear compliments though, despite the fact that Mary Clare has only been one day (in seven) without her “Doggie” going in the “Dog House” at school.

So, she gets in trouble and still finds time to be creative and imaginative!  Impressive, in my book.

I love my girls dearly, with their each and every dramatic loud scream, eye-roll, quirky, temper-tantrum, song at the top of their lungs, strong-willed, glittered costume dancing, painting, passionate and sassy little selves!

My tiny ballerina

Pennington Punnetts

I definitely should have paid more attention in science class.  I do think, however, that I learned more about genetics in two hours yesterday than I did in my entire middle school, high school and college educations combined.  (Which isn’t hard, I guess, considering I ended up with a BA degree in Journalism.)  I remember being interested in those simple four block Punnett squares way back in Ms. Millen’s middle school science class.  You know the ones: Big A, little a, Big B, little b.  Hybrid. Probability.  Genotype.  Maternal.  Paternal.  If only I had paid more attention to the actual process rather than fantasizing about what color eyes my baby would have if I married “boy X.”

My crash course in genetics came yesterday after I received a call at school from the USC genetics lab in Columbia.

“Mrs. Pennington, I’m sure you’ve talked to Dr. Sweatman.”  I was sure I hadn’t since my visit Thursday, but I listened on. “As you know, he wants you to come in for genetic counseling and we need to do it today.   He wants it done today.”

“AS IN TODAY?” was all I could say.  “RIGHT NOW?”  I panicked as I immediately thought maybe the Oncotype DX results were in and weren’t conclusive or weren’t good.  I packed up and within twenty minutes or so Mel and I were headed back to Columbia for yet another day of testing.

I was completely wrong about the genetics counseling.  The geneticist that we worked with is actually on Dr. Sweatman’s “Boob Board” as we now refer to his team of experts which will meet tomorrow on my case.  She was a tall blonde, quite pleasant with an amazing accent that Mel finally nailed down as French Canadian and she was full of fascinating information.  (Mel guessed she was from Louisiana or France, having lived in the south just long enough to make those syllables linger.)  I’ll not go into all of the many specifics of our session.  I probably couldn’t decipher the notes she copied for me anyway.  But as usual, I’ll give my non-medical version as only I interpreted.

So in a nutshell…Dr. Sweatman asked that I have the BRCA genetics testing done.  We’ve had genetics counseling before at MUSC after learning of Mary Clare’s little half-heart.  It’s a “session” with a geneticist who chats away asking all sorts of questions about your family history and draws all kinds little symbols and squares.  Then, a blood sample is drawn and FedEx’ed away.  $10,000 later, you have paperwork with proof of what you already know.  Genetically, you’re a hot mess.

So back to BRCA…BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 are apart of a group of genes that suppress tumors.  Now here is where the punnett squares would have come in handy.  (You know, if I actually listened in Ms. Millen’s class.)  You receive two sets.  One set from Daddy-O and one set from Mom.  If I have a BRCA 1/BRCA 2 mutation, I’m at a much higher risk for breast and/or ovarian cancer.  (It’s gotta be from my Dad’s genes or Mom’s-someone passed it down, IF I have the mutation.)

So what does all of this mean?  Since this genetic testing tests “Me,” it gives us information regarding my personal well being, and of course, will impact how McCanless and Mary Clare go about their future healthcare.  Possibly earlier screenings, mammograms, etc.  (They, of course, would be tested once they are older.  Hopefully, they get Mel’s genes (for once) and NOT have the mutation, but if I have it, they have that 50% chance.  Remember, the punnett.)  Also, IF I do in fact have the crazy mutation, it may dramatically change the course of action in my current treatment. We would most likely take a much more aggressive approach.

What is the difference between the Oncotype and BRCA tests?  Both are genetic studies; however, Oncotype DX tests the biological activity of my specific tumor-the one living in me right now- and  the BRCA tests my genetics and my risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer at any point in my life-having to do with this tumor or not.  Oncotype DX=all about the tumor  BRCA=all about me

So right now, I’m waiting on two tests to come in:  Oncotype DX recurrence score, which was shipped to California last week (but has yet to make it to the lab) and takes 7-10 days to process once getting to the lab and now my BRCA gene information, which was shipped to the one and only lab in the US that tests for the BRCA mutation in Salt Lake City and also takes 7-10 days to process.  (After my insurance company approves it, that is.)

Obviously, my results will not be available in time for the “Boob Board” meeting tomorrow, so I imagine they will work out a plan for all possible outcomes.  At this point, I’m not banking on anything, just sitting tight before allowing my mind to settle on any one outcome/treatment.   Besides, I’m too busy with my girls and homework, dance class, and trying to get to school on time, dressed and in one piece everyday!  And the rodeo is this weekend!

Just thinking…

I’m utterly humbled by my mailbox.  Daily.  It’s amazing.  I drive up to my house, pulling close to the mailbox, reach in and pull out handfuls of encouragement.  I tell myself each time that I MUST get better at sending cards to others.  Tears always fill my eyes as I read them and realize that each one is a prayer spoken on my behalf.  I’m undeserving, but so very appreciative.  I’ve saved each one.  I’ve read and re-read each one often.  I know this is why I’ve not completely lost it.  I’m surrounded by love and believe me, I do “feel the love.”

I do have something that I need to share.  It’s like a grain of sand in my shoe.  It’s there and I know it.  It doesn’t hurt.  I could ignore it and actually it could go unspoken of forever and not matter one bit.  But it’s driving me crazy enough to want to do something about it.  Even in church this morning, I couldn’t bring myself to let it go.  It rolled around and around in my head and formed so many thoughts.  So, I’ll blog it.  Not sure how it may be received, but it’s what’s on my mind at the moment.

Someone once, who had the most sincere intentions, mentioned that, “God only gives you what you can handle.”  I completely understand why someone would make such a comment.  When life throws a curve ball, and in our case, several curve balls in a row, we have to wonder why. It’s human nature to wonder why.  It makes us feel better to know that God is all knowing and He will carry us through this, that He will, in fact, only give you what you can handle because you can handle it.  I’m not so sure I agree.

Mel and I both  deal with circumstances, not with ease, mind you, but maybe, as others have said, with a certain calmness.  I’m not really sure what it is.  Like I’ve said before, maybe I’m just too naive or worse, nonchalant– even in circumstances when I shouldn’t be.  It may be at times that we are like ducks gliding over the water, paddling like hell under the surface.  I think we’ve overcome so much in our lives and have learned how to deal with our curve balls quite well.  Only because we’ve had to.  We are human, and certainly have our moments,  but together, we are a good team.  We balance each other.  We calm each other.  We have learned to move through life, finding the happy and making the most of it, despite the circumstances. We choose to laugh.

I can not believe that God has given me the circumstances that I’ve had to endure.  Too often, I believe, we take words from the Bible and twist and rearrange them to fit into our molds.  I think we take verses out of context and sticky tape them to our own stories. Maybe to make us feel better or feel smarter.

I have no doubt that God is carrying us.  I have no doubt that God knows our plans and has plans for us to prosper.  I have felt love and supported my entire life.  I know that I’m blessed beyond measure.  I also know that God did not give Mary Clare her special heart to prove anything to anyone.  I know that God did not give me cancer simply because I can handle it.   I know my life story was written before I was born and I know that He knows every word of that story.

I don’t have to understand why and frankly, I don’t want to understand why.

I have a story to tell because of God, not in spite of God and He is the sole reason that I am able to tell it.

Working on patience, pacis and panties (Gaining, loosing and keeping)

First day of school.  First meeting with Dr. S.  Third night without a paci for MC, and it was her choice!  It’s been a long day…

The girls had a wonderful day!  A wonderfully long day.  I received a text from a friend at school.  It read:  “MC is fine….meds given with no problem…no accidents…put on every costume in her class room.  Tomorrow, Ms. Chure has to teach her not to take her clothes off first.”

Although she didn’t learn the virtue of modesty today, she did learn about the skeleton.  As I was pulling MC out of the tub tonight, she asked me why God gave us all skeletons.  After a few moments, I realized that with MC, less is more.  So, I simply said, “To hang our skin on.” She laughed and said, “You’re right mom!  We would be like carpet without our skeletons.”  Today, skeletons.  Tomorrow, panties-keeping them ON. I’d love to be a fly on the wall of the 4K room!

McCanless was thrilled not to have homework, but not so thrilled with me for forgetting that today was PE day.  (Apparently, I was supposed to know this already.)  She couldn’t do butterfly flops during warm-up because she had on a dress.  She was also reminded that she must always have on tennis shoes for PE days.  Next time, she will walk laps.  I did remember to pack her lunch with a note, her snack, her book bag with supplies, and a gift for after school and her summer reading project, so I think I did rather well.  Despite her little no tennis shoe/dress hiccup, she’s super excited about this year and told me she already received a star sticker for her math work today.  Ms. Jenner is an amazing teacher and I know she will have a super second grade year!

I’m thrilled that two friends of mine and two of the most amazing teachers I know will be with the girls this year.  It may be yet another tough year for us, but knowing that they have Ms. Jenner and Ms. Chure, both whom I completely trust and love, will make this year so much easier for me.  I will never be able to thank them enough.

I also had a first today.  I met Dr. Sweatman!  After a thorough family/personal history and exam and yet another ultrasound, we sat and chatted.  He is obviously a brilliant man with so much knowledge to share.  He was speaking so quickly, I found myself having a hard time keeping up.  I made a mental note to call Dottye and thank her for explaining all of this beforehand.  I just may send her an Edible Arrangement. Better yet, I’d love to go find her and kiss her.  Amazingly, I actually understood everything he was saying.  She said it all first.

After explaining that he would take my case to his team for the “Breast Conference” which is held every Wednesday, and telling us that ultimately they would confer and decide, he sat down to tell us a few best/worst case scenarios.

He ordered a rush on an Oncotype DX molecular test of my biopsies  (It’s the 21 gene study that Dottye explained to me).  This is the test that will ultimately tell us if chemotherapy would be beneficial in my case.  If my numbers are such that reoccurance will likely happen, then we do chemo.   Dr. S explained that if I have to do chemo, I should do it prior to surgery, as it will shrink the tumor.  IF Oncotype DX numbers are more favorable, meaning low chance of reoccurance, then we may (fingers crossed) just remove tumor and begin 6-8 weeks of radiation in early September.  Team may decide to do chemo anyway, so at this point it’s all a waiting game.  Because of my age, they may want to take a more aggressive approach as the cancers that hit “us youngin’s” are the big dogs.  The Oncotype test results may take up to 10 days, but at least I know the team meets on Wednesday and a few decisions will be made at that point.

So, again, we hurry up and wait. Dr. S also told us that it’s human nature to want to do something ASAP and he assured me that if he thought I needed to have the tumor removed tomorrow, he would do it.  Tomorrow.  He assured me that a couple weeks time wouldn’t make or break the deal.  He said it’s better to gather all information possible and take the time to create the best, most thought out plan.  Good man.  He also has a pair of Stadium Pants.

First Day of School 2011

So I snapped these two photos with my cell phone at 7:00 this morning.  I was a bit behind schedule and thought I’d never get them awake.  (Guess I need to re-think my morning routine.)  I must say, it was a slightly difficult start to the 2011 school year.

Once McCanless had her bowl of cereal and I finally dragged MC out of bed, things rolled along quite well.  We were out of the door by 7:45 dressed and fed. (MC ate a brownie, which is the only thing I could get in her-better than no breakfast, right?) Have I mentioned to you before that my children and husband are NOT morning people?  At all.  That hasn’t changed.

McCanless chose both of their first day outfits and had to accessorize hers with a necklace, side ponytail, special earrings, blue sequin flip flops and a green sweater.  (Despite the 95 degree weather.)  I had to laugh and remind her of the huge cow bell she insisted on wearing on her first day of 4K several years ago.  Luckily, MC only insisted on her pink “Sunday shoes,” which are a size too small, I think.  After I snapped a few photos, kissed a groggy daddy in PJ’s,  and loaded the car with two book bags, two lunch bags, two snack bags, nap mat, “jet pack” (emergency pack for MC), summer reading, supplies, and my camera we were on our way!  Day 1 of 180, here we come!

We are already singing, “Who’s the best class at THA?  4K, 4K, Fooooooour 4!”

Smile!

Clare’s not in pain.  She’s winking.

Big sister stepped in to help…Smile!

…and Clare, once again, listend perfectly when I asked her to turn around so I could get a bookbag shot.  Good luck, Ms. Chure!

McCanless and Ms. Jenner, her 2nd grade teacher.

(MC was busy socializing and refused to take the time to get a photo.)

Have fun, girls!


MRI…Done.

Mel and I had a good day today. Our ride to Columbia this morning consisted of discussing the “more positive than negative” news from Ms. Dottye, my Nurse Navigator, who has been a tremendous help and information go-to! She’s amazing. She keeps up with my appointment times and days and even called me on Saturday to chat. This morning, she called me with more information regarding the pathology report from my biopsies. (I know in 6 months I’ll look back at this post and chuckle at how little I knew. I’ve often done so looking back at my early posts after Mary Clare’s diagnosis…oh well, with time comes knowledge and understanding, and a better grip of all of the medical jargon.)

So, here is the “non-medical” lingo breakdown of my conversation with Dottye, nurse extraordinaire, as I understand it…

Dottye first explained that with any cancer, stage will ultimately be determined after they “get in there” and see it for themselves-the whole picture- and get the tumor out and chopped up and analyzed.

There are three important factors to look at right now (among others, but for now we focus on these): lymph nodes, tumor size and hormone status. (Dottye explaining that the latter, she believes, is most important.)

What Dottye failed to explain this weekend and last week during our conversations was that with my “red flags” (i.e., my young age, not much history) they were thinking I could be a “triple threat” which means unfavorable report status on three of the tests for hormone dependency and genetic factors. “Typically only women closer to menopause have hormone positive outcomes. The few women your age with your cancer typically will have unfavorable status and therefore have a very aggressive cancer-NOT good at all.” So, last week Dottye “and colleagues” thought I was a lame duck. Yikes. Glad she didn’t share that information with me last week.

So back to my hormones. Apparently, my tumor LOVES estrogen. And that’s a good thing, say, than feeding on other stuff that I’m not so sure of. It kinda likes Progesterone. Also my tumor was tested for the Her2/Neu receptor (Genetic stuff, which has to do with the speed of growth somewhere down the line.) My biopsy was Her2/Neu negative. Yay, I guess. Dottye said a yay isn’t too far off, so I’m going with it. If you gotta have cancer, better find the yays somehow, right?

And so I’ll remember:

Estrogen- positive 99%

Progesterone- positive 58%

Her2/Neu- negative

Another tidbit Dottye shared: IF my estrogen was negative that would have been a definite trip to chemo land.  The same is true if my Her2/Neu would have been positive. So, I’m crossing my fingers and toes and legs and everything else that I can continue to steer clear of that place. We’ll see. Another indicator of treatment will be an Oncotype DX test. It’s a 21 gene study of the tumor itself. It indicates whether my risk for recurrence is high or low. Obviously, that will happen after the tumor is out.

Another important piece of the info is the type of cancer. Drum roll please……

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma

After all of that testing, today was my MRI to continue on the path of gaining the most information possible to determine the best treatment plan. Once I meet with Dr. Sweatman on Thursday, he will take his findings and information to his panel of specialists. (Oncologists, plastic surgeons, etc. I’m secretly hoping he’ll confer with Dottye, too. I just love her.) The only downside to this is that the panel only meets on Wednesdays. Bummer. I’ll have to wait another week to really have an official plan together, but I’m hoping I’ll have an idea after meeting with Dr. S this Thursday.

My MRI today wasn’t bad at all. When the nurse told me that if I was still it wouldn’t take as long, I channeled my inner Baptist church girl from so many years ago. (When mom made us all sit in a row on the very front pew and dared us to make a peep or she’s jerk us out of the front door and show us how to be quiet.) After a quick shoot up of fluorescent IV fluid to light up my insides (which made me think of those Halloween glow sticks), I crawled up on the table, obviously built by a man, with metal squares in which to place my boobs. I laughed at what I’m sure was a silly sight. I only had on a hospital gown, open-faced like a sandwich top-down and my New Balances hanging over the edge of this massive device.

Glamorous, I tell you. She pressed a button and I was rolled in, as if on a conveyor belt. Forty-five minutes on my belly in a tunnel listening to what sounded like tennis shoes in a dryer and I was done!

I was handed a CD with the 2000 images and reminded of my appointment with Dr. Sweatman on Thursday. So far, so good.

Doesn’t everyone have an indoor pool?

It hit me yesterday….

I think I’ve realized why all of my recent news hasn’t been as difficult as I assumed it would be.  (Not that I would have thought in a million years I’d have breast cancer at age 34, or that my baby would have been that miniscule percentage of those having Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and Epilepsy for that matter.)  I even asked Mel if he thought I was being aloof.  Shouldn’t I be crying more?  Shouldn’t I be more upset?

It all makes sense to me now.  When I found out about Mary Clare’s special heart, Mel and I were in a complete state of shock.  We walked around for months in a fog barely knowing how to even pronounce Hypoplastic.  We were completely lost. Thankfully, she was still perfect and safe in my belly.  He and I had time to re-group and learn how to be parents of a medically fragile child before she was born. 

Being told my baby has half of a heart was something that changed me forever.  That was hard.  That was excruciating.  I remember many times sitting in the bath tub staring down at my round belly just asking God to keep her in me forever.  I knew she was safe and happy there.  I was not ready watch her in pain, fighting for survival.

I’m a mom.  Mom’s hurt for their babies.  I know I’m certainly not the first to say, “If I could take the pain and hurt from my child, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Let it be me.”  Moms do that.  I’ve lived that.  I live it everyday.

This is me I’m talking about now.  My focus is on getting myself well so I can continue to be Mary Clare’s biggest fan.

Comparatively speaking, this, my friends, (and by this I mean being told of my cancer) is a walk in the park that will not keep me down.

So, I have cancer…

Mel’s mom gave me a  “Boob” bible.  It tells me that I’m most likely in the “shock phase” of this journey.  You know the one.  “It can’t be me.”  Denial, resentment at it’s finest.  Maybe I’m there and don’t realize it, but what I am feeling is an overwhelming sense of awe.  From the very moment I walked out of the exam room to meet Mel in the waiting room after my preliminary diagnosis, I’ve not felt alone in this journey.  I am in shock.  I’m in shock, amazement, bewilderment and awe of each and every single person who has sent me cards, emails, messages, texts, prayers and love.  Each and every single one overwhelms me and makes me feel surrounded in prayer and love.   With every word and kind thought, I feel empowered.  I was in the shower this morning, after looking at my bruised left breast, not hating the very part of me that’s betrayed me, but feeling today more like I can do this.  I know I can do this.  This will not consume my life.  This is apart of my life and I’m going with it!

So, I have cancer.  So, I also have the most amazing friends and family and support that many never realize they have.  If only everyone had an opportunity to realize how loved they truly are.  How fortunate am I?

A little pink lemonade Q & A…

So tonight, I’m referring to “the c word”  as Pink Lemonade.  It kinda goes with the whole “when life gives you lemons” deal and it’s pink.  We know pink around here.  It’s helped us smile in the past, so I’m going with it for tonight.

The following answers are completely my own, and by no means anything remotely close to “doctor-ish” correct.  It’s what I know right now.  Mel usually focuses on medical talk and remembers specifics.  I do not.  So, I apologize in advance.

Q:  When did you feel a lump?

A:  I’ve actually felt one for several months now.  Just didn’t realize how serious it was, or could be.  I was assuming it was a “left over milk gland” that had lost it’s way or at worst, a cyst that only needed to be drained.  (Crazy, I know.)  I felt it this past winter and noticed that it had  grown into a substantial size last month.  I put off my doctor visit one more month because I had a scheduled OB visit.  (Again, stupid on my part, I know.)

Q:  What size is it?

A:  Right now, by ultrasound it seems to be about the size of a sugar cube- based on the dimensions.  It wasn’t a pretty shape, like a circle or a football.  It was more like a lumpy knot with legs.  It’s an “Intermediate” grade tumor.

Q:  What is the time frame for everything?

A:  Not sure.  I had my OB appointment last Wednesday, August 3rd.  I was scheduled for an ultrasound the following morning.  I was referred to Dr. Cupples for diagnostic tests and diagnosis on Monday.  After another ultrasound, mammogram and vacuum assisted core biopsies of the tumor and several lymph nodes, Dr. Cupples made the diagnosis and referred me to Dr. Sweatman.  I’ll have an MRI on Tuesday, August 16th and meet with Dr. Sweatman on August 18th for a plan of attack.

Q:  Where have I been the past couple of days?

A:  I’ve actually been going into work this week.  Mel’s mom has been graciously keeping the girls for me, so I can gear up for the start of school.  I left my phone in the car today while I was at school from about 9-5.  I had several texts and messages.  Sorry, I just forgot about my phone.  I got home and had to take out the trash, fix dinner and play Wii with the girls.  Life as a mom, as usual.  Right now, as I type this, McCanless is in her dance clothes and new fuzzy Winter vest and is performing a fashion show.  MC is naked, in skates, eating strawberries.  Mel is poised and ready for a fire alarm as there is a huge storm brewing outside.  Like I said, life as usual continues on.

Q:  Have I told the girls?

A:  Yes.  Dr. Cupples called me on Tuesday around lunch.  I was making chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese for the girls.  As I was talking to him, I forgot about lunch and burned the grilled cheese.  Later, after fresh grilled cheeses were made and the girls and I were sitting at the table chatting away, I asked if they had ever heard of “cancer.”  McCanless said, “Yes, Basil has it.”  (Basil is one of our cats.)  For years, Mel and I have joked that Basil, a stray cat that we began feeding years ago would clearly die “soon.”  The poor cat sneezes and has very little hair-for four years now.  We’ve been afraid to catch him for fear he’ll bite us and we’ll get some crazy cat disease.  So, we make sad jokes about Basil, yet keep him fed.  Poor cat.

So, McCanless’s idea of cancer is a hairless, wheezing cat.  Fantastic.  Once I explained that Basil did not have cancer, I had to explain as best I could to my baby girls…

“Cancer is like a bug.  You have heard of a virus before. Right?  Sometimes in the winter, you two get viruses and you must take medicine to help get it out of your body.   Cancer is a little like those viruses, but it’s a really, really bad virus.  Mommy has cancer and it needs to get out of mommy’s body.  The doctors will probably have to take it out of Mommy.   I’ll have to take medicine to help.” McCanless then asked me where the cancer was.  As soon as I said in my breast, Mary Clare burst into laughter.

“Mommy has bugs in her boobies!” MC said through giggles.  She heard the very first words of my explanation and nothing more.  We three sat there laughing hysterically.  I think it went rather well.

No words…

I just received a sweet, sweet note from dear friends and neighbors just now.  It read:

Words.

Wish I knew some.

I have been diagnosed with breast cancer, officially today, and as bluntly as that sounds, it shocks no less stated differently.  It’s how I was told yesterday, point blank, holding the hands of a stranger, lying alone on a paper covered table in a dimly lit exam room.  I received the call with the biopsy results just an hour ago, confirming what my gut and Dr. Cupples already knew.

I can’t say that I’m angry.  Or sad.  Yet.  I have, a few times in the past 24 hours, questioned God.  What else?  Why now?  But for the other 23.5 hours in the day, I’ve played with the girls, cleaned house and I’m doing what I do.  Today, however, I’m savoring those little mundane tasks a bit more than I might otherwise.  I drove to Wal-Mart to buy Pledge and thoroughly enjoyed my coffee and the beautiful morning drive.  I made grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup for lunch and asked McCanless to say her own prayer so I could hear her sweet voice and personal requests.  I had the girls nap-and they did so quite easily for once- so I could quietly blog, vent, enjoy the hum of the den ceiling fan alone.  I’ve often thanked God today, something that I should do everyday despite the circumstances.  I’m living.  I’m learning.

It comes as no surprise to my family that I’m being nonchalant about it all. Although, I’m not really trying to be.  Ironically as it sounds, I’ve never been much of a talker or worrier, for that matter.  I can easily pour my heart and soul out on my blog somehow though.  This is where they see a small window into my brain.  I truly wish I was better at it in person, but I’m not.  So I blog.

It’s odd.  I feel like only women over 40 get breast cancer.  I do still have 6 more years to go! Yesterday, I could only think of my dear friend, Betsy, who lost her mother to breast cancer when we were in elementary school.  First grade, I think.  She left behind Betsy’s older brother and my curly haired friend at such tender ages.  I always ached for Betsy, but never with the understanding as I do now.  I always thought of Betsy.  Yesterday, every ounce of my being and my every thought was with her mother and how painful it was knowing she was leaving her babies behind.

Yesterday, Mel and I ate and laughed and ate some more to deal with the news.  Mel is definitely a stress-eater.  I was simply along for the ride, but we couldn’t help but laugh together.  It’s what we do.  In fact, he’s already designed our “Relay for Life” t-shirts to read:  Half-a-heart, half-a-boob and half-a-brain.  (We’re still working on a “half” nickname for McCanless.)

I’m certainly not the first to fight this battle and I’m not the only one.  I know I’ll beat this.  I have no doubt in my mind.  It’s just another bump in the road that forces us to stop dead in our tracks and realize that we aren’t in control.

There are no words to explain how I feel right now.  There aren’t enough words to explain how thankful I am for my life and everyone in it.  Just like Bec’s note, I’m not sure of what to say or how to say it. I do know we have so many on our side and if my MC can beat the odds and make it through three open-heart surgeries and Epilepsy with her tiny half-heart, this will be a piece of cake for me.  Pink cake!

Patience is a virtue

that Mary Clare has yet to acquire.  (Can you acquire a virtue? I hope so.)

Have you noticed a trend in her recent photos?  It’s no surprise to find her  A) in a costume or B) naked, these days.  I don’t fight it, especially with that face.

See?  (Mimi texted this photo to me yesterday.)

Is it really only 15 days away?

So, reality check today.  I went into work for a few hours to “get a head start” before the beginning of the school year rush.  It didn’t help.  I’m now just as far behind, and now I know how far behind I actually am.  I was oblivious before today.  Of course, this happens every year.  I panic. I dread.  I get excited.  I get scared.  I get emotional. I get ready.  I start nesting.

Yesterday, I allowed McCanless to rent two movies on Netflix while I cleaned out my bedside table drawers and my closet.  (I know, I know, “Mother of the Year Award” does not go to me this year-I guess I should have made her work on her summer reading.)  Oh well.  Mary Clare busied herself for hours with a trunk full of old dance costumes I pulled out of the attic. (You do what you ‘gotta do!) I’ve organized bookshelves, bins and bookbags; gotten rid of “too tight” clothes, old toys and books; bought pencils and paper; I’ve re-organized the playroom/ new homework study room.  We registered at dance and I’ve penciled in all important August dates.  Ready or not, here it comes!

In 15 days, I’ll have a 4Ker and a 2nd grader at Thomas Hart Academy!  Wow!

So, Ms. Chure, are you ready?

Summer Art Camp 2011

McCanless has always been my creative soul, constantly doodling, drawing and very often with a paint brush in hand and paint on her clothes. Even when she decides to settle in for a movie, she’ll grab her lap desk and drawing pad, drawing as she watches.  She was able to attend art camp this summer at The Painting Chameleon and thoroughly enjoyed herself.  She was so proud of her work at her exhibition at the end of the week.

She was so proud of her work and I’m so proud of her!

Screen on the Green 2011

This summer, Hartsville has hosted many great movies in Burry Park with a brand new HUGE screen!  So fun!  We love to pack our popcorn, drinks and goodies, spread out our blankets, watch a movie and socialize, of course!

After watching Rango, the girls, full of popcorn and sweets, decided it was time to play “sheriff.”

(These photos were taken with my iPhone.)

Happy Birthday BB! We love you!


We spent a weekend at the lake with our “Pennington Family” celebrating BB’s birthday!  A wonderful time was had by all!

Wellies in the Rain

Mary Clare could live outside

and a little rain never stops her!

iPad Art by McCanless

Always fun to find these…

And the Oscar goes to…

How can someone so tiny accomplish so much?

I just realized that four years ago this week (two days ago on the 20th, to be exact) was when we brought Mary Clare home from MUSC. Wow, what an amazing four years it has been.

July 2011

Insert song, “I will survive.”

I found this little post hanging out in my blog “draft” folder tonight.  I, most likely, became distracted or didn’t have time to finish it and ultimately forgot it was there.  (I started the post ranting about the first week of school and ended it discussing internal clocks and rodeos.  Like I said, somewhat distracted.)  Reading it tonight, threw me back in time to the first week of school last year, and reminds me that we have only a few short weeks until we start it all over again.  Alarm clocks, homework, dance, routine, morning “disagreements,” lunch boxes, etc., etc., etc.  Ready or not, it’s almost here!

August 2010…We did it.   We survived the first week of school, and it didn’t kill us.  (I did, however, almost kill my oldest daughter a number of occasions, but I didn’t.)  Mornings are definitely not a highlight of our days by any stretch, but hopefully with a few more weeks under our belts, they will get somewhat tolerable.  I never believed in “morning people/night owls” until I married Mel.  Even then, when I realized that we had opposite internal clocks, I felt he could certainly change his ways, and become more productive in the mornings, like me,  if he so chose. Naivety at its best.

I have, on a number of mornings, announced aloud my desire to awake ONE day to smiling family members.  Funny.   How ironic to angrily demand that my family smile.

I do.  I wake up with the greatest of ease.  I jump up happy, ready to begin.  I have had to learn the hard way that not everyone can do this.  McCanless will never be a morning person.  I know that.  I believe that.  I live that.  Last year it took me a while to master our morning routine so that we could accomplish two things:  1)  Making it to school before 8AM without killing each other and/or loosing our voices from the yelling  2)  Arriving to school with clothes ON.

I always make breakfast.  I always give her time to adjust and awake.  I always let her be.  I have never restricted McCanless in her choice of clothing.  (The matching bubbles and bows and smocked dresses went out when she gained the power of language and independence at age two.  She is head strong beyond belief and to attempt to change that would ruin her spirit and change the McCanless that I know and have learned to appreciate.)

Yet, every morning is the same.  Hard to wake up.  Hard to get moving.  Hard to breathe.  So what to do?  I just accept the fact that my children and husband are not like me.   It takes a while longer for their engines to get rolling.   Just like they had to accept the fact that Friday night I stayed home when they went to the Rodeo at 8PM.  I was done.  The thought of going to a loud, crowded, Rodeo after dark was not something I was ready for.  Mel packed them up and headed out without me….

And just because I’d like to share…

this photo (that I took last week one morning) sums up my girl in the wee hours of a morning quite nicely. Can’t wait till next month!


Prestwood Swimming Lessons 2011

Mary Clare started swimming lessons today at Prestwood pool!  She has done so well so far this summer with her floaties, but after today I think she just may be a great little swimmer-sans floatation devices- by next week!  She’s already swimming under water and her swim instructor said she (naturally) had the most beautiful breast stroke. (Can you tell I’m one proud mama?)

“That’s my mom.” -MC

Once she caught a glimpse of my camera, she really hammed it up!

“That’s my girl.” -Mommy

Not sure why she uses goggles.  She keeps her eyes wide open under water!

Guess who else is learning something new?

Summer Dance Workshop

McCanless participated in a 3 day summer dance workshop this week at Dizzy.  She was super excited to get back into the swing of things with dance! (She’s in the middle.)

Tonight, some of the “big girls” were at the studio rehearsing.  As soon as McCanless realized that they would be warming up with the big girls, she quickly told me I could leave.  When I didn’t leave immediately, she politely ordered me to leave.  (Not before I completely embarrassed her and snapped a few photos!)

She came home tonight whirling and twirling and wishing dance season began now!

Big Hearts

Check this out!

Haarlow Cousins at Mimi and Bapa’s House

Andrew-8, McCanless- 7, Molly- 6, Sophia- 5, Mary Clare- 4, Will- 2

Everybody JUMP!

She finally took the plunge!  She did it!  She jumped off the deep end!  We were at Prestwood pool last week, swimming in the rain and Ella, MC’s school pal, convinced her that it isn’t so bad!  (A little peer pressure isn’t always a bad thing.)  Jump after jump after jump, she mastered it!  Way to go baby girl!  Mommy is so proud of you!

We (Heart) friends…

Saturday, after kissing Daddy goodbye and sending him to Idaho for the week, we took off to meet a few of our most favorite people in the world.  Rebecca Butcher was gracious enough to offer her home for a lunch date pool party!  Kim, a heart mama that I haven’t seen in four years was there too!   Kim and her daughter, Bella, were in the heart unit with us during  MC and Bella’s very first heart surgeries.

Emerson and her mommy were there of course.

Mary Clare, McCanless, Lauren (Emerson’s cousin) and Emerson.  We are missing Luke and Austin in this photo, the youngest and only boys at our little party!  Big brothers, Wyatt and Davin, were with their Daddies for the day.

Luke, Rebecca’s youngest son, and Mary Clare were wearing diving rings as crowns.

I finally caught these two together and smiling!  They are usually too fast!

Neighbors

Can’t forget…

I’m just like every other mom out there.  I swear I’ll never forget the cute little saying or quirky/incorrect use of a word that my girls occasionally mention.  But, I do.  When I finally get that moment to sit and “write it all down” they have escaped me.  Mary Clare has been on a roll lately, so while she’s napping this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I’ve decided to take a moment to write down a few…

Mel is on a business trip for the week and McCanless spent the night with Nonnie last night, so it was just Mary Clare and me lying in bed this morning.  She said, “Mom, you need to have another baby so Daddy won’t have any room at all to sleep in our bed.”

As I was tickling her foot after a bath earlier this week, I grabbed her little foot and pretended to munch on it.  I told her I was going to eat it up.  She said, “Mom, you can’t eat my foot!”  I replied, “Yes, I can.  I made it.”  She quickly came back with, “NO, you didn’t!  God did!”

After Mary Clare danced and sang and baton twirled her way through our church service today, we stopped to chat with Father Michael on the way out.  After a few hugs and high fives and as we were on the lawn of the church, she looked at me and said with such sincerity, “God is so nice, Mommy.”    (I had to turn around and tell Father Michael the high compliment that one of his youngest parishioners paid him today, then I took the car ride home explaining to MC that Father Michael was NOT God.)

I’ve learned that if we eat on the run, as we occasionally do,  it is in my best interest NOT to get meal deals with my girls.  They don’t eat french fries and usually waste most of the “meal” anyway.  It’s much better if I opt out of the “deal” and stick to a la carte ordering.   Mary Clare yelled at me on the way to Charleston this week after I handed her her lunch.  “Mommy, this is not what I wanted.  I need a Happy Meal, not this no-toy sad meal.”

We sing constantly.  In the car, at home, in the shower, in the bath, when a circumstance hits and an appropriate song comes to mind, we belt it out.  All four of us.  And after the July 4th week with the Woodhams, I realized that all of the Woodhams do it too.  (And usually add a dance along with it.)  Yesterday, I belted out something or another, and I heard a familiar and sassy little, “HUSSSSH!” To which I replied, “Why can’t Mommy sing, Mary Clare?”

“You make my ears rumbly, Mom!”

At Mimi and Bapa’s pool this weekend, MC asked why we were cooking black rocks for dinner.  Perplexed, we all searched the yard for a hint at what she may be asking about.  Someone caught a glimpse of the grill with black coals ready to be fired up and realized that it did seem as if we were about to roast a few black rocks on the grill!

July 4th Week with the Woodhams 2011

We had an impromptu visit to Pirate’s Voyage dinner show in Myrtle Beach.  Super fun!  (And I just may use the website as a sound machine tonight…) Mary Clare sat speechless and mesmerized throughout the entire show! She loved every minute of it, especially the mermaids!

We couldn’t get photos during the show, but had fun in the gift shop after the show.

Happy 4th of July!

F-16 South Carolina coast Patriotic Flyover-always an amazing and humbling site.  (F-16s travel the entire SC coast and record for troops deployed overseas.)

Daddy, “Bubba” and Alston opted not to hit the beach with the girls’ team.            (Poor new brother-in-law, William had to work.)

Pennington Girls

Guess who we found on the beach?  Santa, a retired veteran himself, visits with beach goers and supports the troops every 4th of July during the Flyover.

Ice Cream truck!

Preparation is KEY in the annual 4th of July Calhoun Drive Golf Cart Parade.  (…and our secret weapons this year, the garden hose and baby pool full of water, also helped.)

Ready…

Aim…

Fire!

In our defense, we only attacked when we were hit first.

Fireworks on the beach!

My little firecracker still doesn’t like loud noises, so she, Nonnie and Kacy went back to snuggle on the hammock and enjoy the fireworks from a distance.  A perfect ending to a perfect 4th of July.

So, Mel made a movie…

He couldn’t stand it.  The wedding photo booth photos are too funny not to share.  So he made a movie and posted it on YouTube.  (Like it or not.)

Photo Booth in the House…

My sister had a photo booth at her wedding this month, complete with a trunk full of “props.”  By far, the best reception past time, ever.  Truly hilarious.  My girls weren’t the only frequent users of the booth.  (Not sure the guests realized that my sister would get a copy of ALL of the photos-wink, wink.  Keeping it PG for the blog, folks.)  Here are just a handful of the 600+ photos from the evening.

Happy Pinkalicious Pirate Mermaid Pool Party Birthday, Mary Clare!

My little 4-year-old Pink Mermaid

Mermaid McCanless, or “Mercanless,” as she sometimes calls herself.


Aaarrrggg!

We asked guests to donate to “Coker’s Heart Fund” in lieu of gifts.  We had such generous donations totaling over $400!  Coker has found a wonderful home with my sister, Kacy and her new hubby, William.  We are trying to do all we can to help get Coker’s heart fixed so she can have a wonderful and full life just like Mary Clare.  I cannot thank everyone enough!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hot dogs and goldfish, MC’s favorites!  (…and cake, of course!)

Sweet Emerson, MC’s Heart BFF!

Happy Birthday to my sweet MC!  What a wonderful day filled with shell necklaces, family, floats, friends, pirate patches and cake! Perfection!

“Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat…” (Little Mermaid circa 1989)

I just can’t get that song out of my mind.  I guess because I’m merely hours away from Mary Clare’s 4th Birthday Pinkalicious Mermaid Pirate Pool Party.  (Mouth full, I know-she insisted.)  The girls are napping and I’m waiting on Mel to get home from work so I can get to work on the party!  I do love a good party.  The girls’ team has already gotten the mermaid-pirate booty bags  (heehee) together.  I ordered super cute number 4/starfish glitter cookies, bought shells and beads and included a pirate eye patch all tied together in a cute little muslin bag.  (Thanks to my sister’s wedding leftovers.)  McCanless and I stamped the bags with nautical images and tied each with twine and a cute little “Love, MC pink pirate tag.”

I took the girls party shopping last week and while most of everything is taken care of at the pool, we always like to add girls’ team touches.  Pink and pirate table cloths, grass skirts, shells, shell necklaces, pink pool toys, pink and silver balloons, pink pool noodles, etc.  I know it will be fun!

We ordered a cake this week and with the girls’ help it is a masterpiece (mess) of mermaid, nautical, pirate, beachy decor.  I love designing a cake to compliment our parties, and it seems that my girls have inherited my party planning genes, so I let them take over this year.  It’s obnoxiously cute.  We also have pink “ocean cupcakes” with waves and mermaids and pink glitter starfish.   Mary Clare ate more starfish cookies today than we’ll actually have at her party, but it’s her party and her day, so we’ll let her get away with it.  Miss MC certainly deserves every single pink mermaid and piece of glitter that is what this party is made of.  I can’t wait to see her in all of her 4 year old glory.  Thanks be to God.

Foxbrier Farm Horse Camp 2011

McCanless loved every minute of horse camp this week.  She was there every evening from 5-8 learning all there is to know about caring for and riding horses.  She’s taken lessons before, but I think this week sparked a new found love.  Her instructor said she was wonderful with the horses and was a natural.  McCanless even asked Daddy for a horse for Christmas.  I’m not sure our yard, which is in the city limits, would be conducive for farm animals, so maybe a few more lessons will do the trick!

Foxbrier Farm has an amazingly beautiful barn, AND it’s right in town!

Mary Clare and Reese watching McCanless. Sweet Reese is at every single dance recital, and girly “show-off” my two have.  So sweet!  (Thank you, M&M and Reese’s Pieces!)

First cousins and BFFs with blonde hair and brown eyes, often mistaken as twins!

Mary Clare and “Baby Edward”

My little equestrian


So wonderful to see…

This overwhelms me with hope and happiness.

…all the while



Four Weddings and a Funeral…

Wasn’t that a movie?

That title wouldn’t escape my mind this morning as I hurried around thinking of all we’ve had going on lately, and still to come. In June alone, we’ve had Camp Seafarer for McCanless, a week-long Funeral Director’s Convention in Myrtle Beach for Mel-the VP of the SC Funeral Director’s Association, an unexpected 4 day EEG at MUSC for Mary Clare, my sister’s wedding and now Mary Clare’s 4th birthday this weekend. Not to mention all of the “typical” events in any given summer month: weddings, birthdays, showers, celebrations and city events. McCanless also started Horseback Riding camp yesterday evening. Whew!

I took the girls to the pool yesterday to relax after a long wedding weekend and I was shocked at how McCanless has progressed with her swimming. She has been able to swim (thanks to Uncle Kurt) since she was three. She was visiting Sissy and Uncle Kurt while we were at MUSC with Mary Clare when she took off across the deep end alone and has been a little fish ever since, refusing swim lessons. “Those are for babies,” she would and still proclaims.

Yesterday, she took off across the pool freestyling and I was shocked. She said she learned at camp last week. Which she says was a blast. When we picked her up we heard all about camp for the four hour ride home and how much she loved it, and I’m seeing remnants of camp every single day. A song here, a new blessing there, and freestyling across the pool yesterday! I’m so proud of my girl!

McCanless Freestylin’

My Little Mustard Seed

We don’t let a few seizures keep us down.

Non-doubting.  Steadfast.  Believing that she can move mountains.

Update on Miss MC

Mel, Mary Clare and I are at the beach while McCanless lives it up at camp. (I wouldn’t dare tell her we went to the beach without her. She would be furious! I’ve been writing her at camp and telling her how bored we are, which is far from the truth.) Mel has his annual SC Funeral Director’s Convention this week and it’s usually something we all look forward to. Several days at the beach at the Grand Dunes with Daddy is always a treat. I almost skipped this trip because we’ve been so busy. (At MUSC last week, New Bern for camp this weekend, etc.) But after Mary Clare had a seizure in New Bern, I decided I wanted to tag along with Mel just in case. (I just had a feeling Mary Clare was a little “off” this week and I didn’t feel comfortable alone.) I’m so glad I did. She had a seizure last night on the way down in the car and another tonight at dinner.

I know I’ll never get used to seeing her seize. It is something so unnatural and certainly not how you want to see your baby. Mary Clare seizures aren’t as violent as they have been in the past, but they are longer. She usually comes out of it after a few minutes or so and we’ve only had to use her Diastat (emergency meds) a few times. It’s amazing how differently we react now after she’s had dozens of grand mal seizures. Tonight, we were with a few other couples and as I noticed her slip into a seizure, I patted Mel’s leg to let him know and I gathered Mary Clare up into my lap. She was on the end of the table and I had her facing away. Only the couple across from us noticed. After the eternal few minutes when she was slowly coming back to us, she grew upset and angry. For about 20 minutes, she was very sensitive to lights, sounds and smells. In fact, when a huge lobster came to our table, she asked them to take it away, it was yucky. I took her outside to recuperate and Mel called Dr. Turner to touch base. By the time we joined our table, she was playing and singing, had taken off her sandals and was dancing around the restaurant barefoot.

We have a plan with Dr. Turner and trust him completely. I’ve heard from more than one Epilepsy mom that finding the right anti-seizure meds/combination/dosage is the most frustrating part of it all. I hate to wish away time, but I will certainly be happy when all of her seizure activity settles down a bit. She’s one tough cookie and has beaten odds before. I’m sure this is just one little bump in the road for our feisty little sweetheart!

Guess who’s at camp?

We took McCanless to Camp Seafarer this weekend!

After meeting up with a few THA pals last night, we toured the beautiful city of New Bern, right outside of Arapahoe, where Camp Seafarer is located.

This was the Dessert Social held last night. It was a chance for the girls to meet other campers before heading to camp. I was surprised at how quickly McCanless started meeting other girls. (I think having a few THA familiar faces gave her that extra boost of confidence.)

Mary Clare on the steps of New Bern City Hall.

After entering the camp grounds and being directed by cute girls bearing Seafarer shirts and big bows, excitedly waving and yelling, “Ahoy!” we pulled up to Cabin 10 and unloaded the car. I unpacked her bags and we made her bed. (Top bunk, thank goodness. She was so looking forward to having a top bunk, so I was relieved to find her sailboat name tag right on top!) She also realized that her two THA first grade pals are in cabins 8 and 11. Not her cabin, but close enough. Her counselor asked if we would like to walk down to the pier (above). Once we were down by the water, I realized that she was excited and ready to be on her own. I knew it was a perfect time. (Not a perfect time for me, but it was time for her.) I told her Mommy, MC and Nonnie were heading home. She took off without even hugging me. As she took her first step on the pier, I called her name and told her I needed a kiss bye. She smiled, ran to me, squeezed tight and ran back to her new pals. Bittersweet.

I am so very proud of Ms. Lillie, as she introduced herself to all of her new camp buddies and I will miss her this week more than she will ever know!


Lemonade


8:35 am  Mary Clare is soundly sleeping as I type this.   She and McCanless quickly fell into summer schedules last week.  (Yes, it only took my not-so-morning girls merely days to succumb to lazy summer mornings.)  After this hospital stint, however, I’ve got myself a full fledged, self-proclaimed “almost four-year-old” night owl.  She and her Daddy stayed up well into the dark night watching movies, giggling, and hiding under stiff white hospital blankets.

After her load of Keppra yesterday…  (They wanted to get it in her system, so an “IV load” is a way to quickly achieve this.) Mary Clare had fewer Myoclonic seizures.  Yay!  It makes me breathe a bit easier and hopefully not have to watch her like a mamma hen when we return home.  As Dr. Turner said, “She still has an “off” EEG.  The Keppra doesn’t “fix” her EEG reading or Epilepsy, it merely stops some of her seizures.”  I”m hoping Keppra is the answer and it stops all of her seizures!  It still amazes me that she has been having so many seizures and many times we don’t even realize that she is having them.

Thinking back to when we learned of her HLHS.  I realize it has been an evolution.  I don’t think I will ever become “used” to her having a half heart.  I will always hope and pray that somehow, we will wake up one day and her heart will be complete, low Oxygen levels won’t linger and she’ll no longer need her daily orange pill.  I’ll be able to dream of her having her own children and living to be 100 with no further complications or procedures.  But.  I’m a realist.  I know that it will be a lifelong struggle for her.  It took me most of my pregnancy to accept this and while it isn’t what I dreamed for her, she is what I dreamed of.

If I had my choice, sure, I’d not want Epilepsy to be in her thick medical charts.  But it is.  Mary Clare has HLHS and Epilepsy.  I’m still learning to embrace it.  Like I said, it’s an evolution.  I’m hoping that in a few months, maybe years, I’ll be able to say, “Sure, she has Epilepsy and it certainly doesn’t slow her down.” Just like I’ve learned to proudly tell people that she has overcome three reconstructive heart surgeries in her three years of life and is great!  “Her heart is fabulous, just like her.”

Her EEG may be far from normal, but what is “normal” anyway?  How boring would life be if my children both behaved every minute of the day (or even half the day for that matter), or painted inside the lines or kept quiet when they should, or dressed in perfect coordination with well groomed hair?  My girls choose to sing loudly in crowds, they fight for what they want, can be outspoken and very opinionated, and they sleep in.  They dance and play, often barefoot, and love socializing and sweets.  How amazing it is to know that one day I can look back and know that it’s okay.  Life handed us HLHS and Epilepsy and all of the amazing and wonderful things right along with them and it’s okay.  Look at all of the fun we’re having.

Below, she was admiring herself in the mirror on her bed tray.

MC EEG Study


MC EEG Study

12:24 Day 1:  “Sooner rather than later…” is what I was told.  All I heard was “come now.”  I called our neurology NP yesterday to touch base.  To let her know that MC had an “off day” and that I was on top of it, noting all thirty-plus of her myoclonic seizures and staring spells and that I’d even thought to take her to our local pediatrician to check for any underlying illness she may have (which sometimes will cause an increase in seizure activity).  Sure enough, MC had an ear infection.  That coupled with a busy week of summer play and pool time, I just knew the NP would note it in MC’s file and assure me that we’ll get to the bottom of her seizures with the EEG scheduled for July.  She asked me to hold for a moment while she chatted with Dr. Turner, our neurologist.

“How soon can you get here?”  I’ve heard those words more than I care to remember and have almost become a pro at minimizing our hospital bags to merely three total.  Mel finished a few things at work, we packed the car with our three bags, laptops, iPad, and hit the road.  McCanless, thankfully, was already spending lots of time at Mimi’s with her cousins, Molly and Will, and will stay there until we come home.  Dr. Turner wanted the EEG sooner rather than later.

Depakote is not working.  It is the “go to” seizure med, and typically works very well for the types of seizures MC has.  MC is not typical we are realizing once again.  She was put on Depakote after her Fontan in April with hopes of controlling her Epilepsy, but it’s just not working.  Her “tics,” or myoclonic seizures, have increased in frequency and she continues to have generalized grand mal seizures.  As I’ve said before, neurology is a mad science.  It’s a highly educated guessing game and we are currently in the process of trying to figure out the correct seizure med combination and dosage for her.  We don’t know why she has them or why they only recently started or if there in a genetic condition that we are missing.  We know that she has Epilepsy.  We know we need to get her seizures under control.  This is where we are.  So we are back “home” at MUSC on 7 East.

We arrived late afternoon yesterday and we were able to get her “hooked up” to her rainbow Rapunzel hair.  We have already “caught” several myoclonic seizures on film and EEG, so at least that’s some progress.  Still, it’s disheartening to see how many she actually has.  It’s more than we thought.  We never even knew she had them while she was asleep.  She has seizures when we aren’t aware of them.  Dr. Turner is determined to do all he can to get them under control.  She will be weaned off of Depakote and has already started Keppra by IV.

If you’ll notice, MC has been visited by “Junie Bug” her tooth fairy!  Junie Bug left a pink note and lots of sparkly money last week after MC tumbled down a flight of stairs losing two of her tiny bottom pearls.  (Although they do look like little shark teeth with the roots still long and intact.) Although I missed seeing the tumble, I’m convinced that she had a myoclonic seizure, which resulted in her fall.  She’s been falling a lot lately.  The seizures that we have been unaware of may be the culprit.

MC is napping peacefully now after such a late night.  We hope to head to the Atruim for a magic show after her requested cheese pizza lunch.  (If we can handle carting her IV pole, wireless EEG monitor, and video monitor pole with us-It may be a long afternoon.)

Dear Diary,

9:00 AM  Just decided to take a moment to update you on life as I sit on the front porch with my daily morning “coffee and mac moment.”  Whew!  Summer has taken off and is in full effect.  The girls and I went to the pool every single day this week and only took a break yesterday to head shopping, which is another ordeal in and of itself.  We even stayed at the pool an unprecedented 10 hours one day.  Mary Clare and I headed there around 11 with lunch.  We ate, swam, waited on McCanless who had spent the night with a friend, swam a bit more, and ate a bit more.  When McCanless arrived, we replayed the day then headed to the playground with the “regular” pool crew and by 5, one mom suggested we order pizza delivery.  We got dinner and a second wind.  Once the pool closed at 7, we headed to the grassy field and playground by the lake to catch fireflies.   Love summer!

Yesterday, we switched up our daily summer schedule and headed for a girls shopping excursion. (Only after visiting the Downtown Marketplace and having lunch at the Midnight Rooster.)  I thought as the girls got older, shopping trips would get easier, maybe even fun-not so much. At one point yesterday, I was in a tiny dressing room at Target, MC and McCanless (laughing at me standing there almost naked), were loud, giddy and obnoxiously  tossing a huge red ball around, nearly busting out a light fixture just before MC crawled out under the stall as I’m still half naked trying to coerce her to return to the stall.  They had to try on bathing suits, shoes, goggles, clothes, sunglasses; test lawn chairs (for Mimi’s pool), and new bikes; purchase new bowls, spoons and muffin tins for our summer kitchen projects.  Apparently, they have big plans for summer.  “Mom, LOOK at this,” I heard way more than I care to remember.

Then, we had two more stops in Florence.

Needless to say, our shopping excursion was our only accomplishment yesterday.   We did, however, make it back in time to head to Mimi’s for dinner and swimming with Molly, Will and Casey Haarlow, our Rome cousins visiting for Bapa’s birthday week.  More fun times in the pool.  We’ll head back over today for a cookout and more pool time.  I’m convinced that the girls will grow gills before the end of summer.

Not only is McCanless perfecting her freestyle stroke and dive, she is counting down to summer camp!  One week to go!  She is so excited and can’t wait to get there.  She is certainly growing up way too fast and it breaks my heart.  My little gap tooth dreamer is quickly becoming my brace face with attitude hanging out with her friends at the pool snack bar every day.  She’s so funny and still has her Daddy’s quick wit.  I can’t wait to see how camp life treats her.

In MC health news…I’ve been cautiously watching Mary Clare this week.  We’ve had a busy, fun week, but definitely a tiresome week.  I was concerned that it was a bit too much for her.  She has seemed to take it all well, but I can certainly tell when her little body has had enough.  She didn’t nap at all this week, but has crashed at night and sleeps until around 10 every day.  She continues to have her daily “tics,” her myoclonic seizures.  She may have 5-10 a day, but has not had a grand mal since her May 20th, 7 minute episode.  We will head to Charleston in July for an EEG video study.  They’ll get an EEG read for 3-5 days and will add a second seizure med to her daily regimen.  I’m not thrilled to add a second, but I know that we need to get her seizures under control.  It breaks my heart to know that she’s already on 500 mg of Depakote a day, and it’s still not working.  I just don’t want this to change her little personality in any way.  I already feel that the Depakote makes her more aggressive and maybe moody some days.  I guess it’s all a process.  We’ll get there.  In MC heart news, she’s doing great!  For the first time in her life, she’s only on her daily asprin!  No BP meds, or anything else!  My baby girl is so amazing and I’m so proud of her.  This summer we hope to tackle potty training and maybe even learn to swim without floaties.  (Wouldn’t that be a hoot, to learn to swim before she’s potty trained!)  I’m certainly not pushing her or setting discouraging goals.  Life is certainly too short to worry about the trivial.  She may not wear big girl panties just yet, but she has survived more than most people do in several lifetimes!

I have two amazing little girls that are loving every minute of life!  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pool calling.  (Once the girls wake up, that is.)

Loving every minute of summer!

Prestwood Pals

So, what have we been up to the past few days?

Why, perfecting dives, of course!

School’s out for Summer!

…and guess who’s getting ready for camp?

We’ve begun to gather everything on her checklist and she’s written her counselor a letter.  She created a countdown to camp poster for the kitchen and she’s ready!  Camp Seafarer, here she comes!

St. Barthelemy, FWI

Right outside our Rosa Villa.

We drove to the Hotel St. Barth- Isle de France, above, where we stayed on our honeymoon ten years ago.

The flight to St. Bart’s from St. Maarten is about 10 minutes and an experience entirely in itself.  Above is a photo of the landing strip.

This is where I spent lots of time…coffee and croissants in the morning, shade rest in the afternoon, a drink before dinner.  I even read two books on my new kindle.  I’ve not been able to read two books consecutively (and guiltlessly) in a weekend in a long time, 7 years to be exact.

Mel loved driving our convertible SMART car and hated to return it on our last day!

Surprise! He got me…

So, turns out, we weren’t heading to the Florida Keys last Thursday after all.  I honestly didn’t realize where we were headed until we drove up to the Florence airport early Thursday morning.  I read a tweet on my phone from Mel and mentioned to him that he “accidentally” typed in St. Bart’s instead of the Keys.  (I know it sounds crazy, but this is something I KNOW Mel would do, accidentally.)  But he didn’t. When I finally realized he wasn’t joking, I could have kissed him and killed him in the same moment.  We were flying to St. Barthelemy, French West Indes.  That day.

I nearly panicked as the plane took off and I realized that I was leaving Mary Clare not only by three airplane flights, but through customs as well.  Out of the country was not what I bargained for.  It took me one walk along the crystal blue beach merely hours later to realize that Mel and I needed the time away.  Together.  Alone.  I actually enjoyed myself and constantly repeated aloud to myself and Mel, ” If Mary Clare has a seizure, she has a seizure.”  She has had so many since her surgery and she just may have one while I’m not with her. It’s a reality. We’ve lectured our family.  They know the drill.

Mel and I lounged by the beach just beyond our villa gate, practiced French, explored the island we fell in love with on our honeymoon and thoroughly enjoyed each other in way too expensive French restaurants.  St. Barthelemy is truly Paris on a tiny beautiful island.  I was refreshed, rested and slightly sunburned (as opposed to my crispy pink hubby) and ready to see my babies last night.

Upon returning home, we were told that Mary Clare did, in fact, have a seizure  while we were away.  On Friday morning she had a pretty bad seizure, which lasted 7 minutes.  Longer than any previously.  She was given Diastat to stop seizing.  I just knew that after a few weeks with little to no “tics” that we were over the hurdle; her seizures were merely repercussions of a very traumatic open-heart surgery in March that were beginning to fade with healing and time.

I have to listen to that voice inside telling me that she is so happy and healthy for a baby girl with Epilepsy and half a heart.  She will have seizures, just as she will always have a half heart.  It took me nine months of thinking and wondering and questioning to truly accept her HLHS, to embrace her HLHS and it’s still a journey.  It may take me that much longer, but I’m determined to embrace this new part of my spunky, sweet MC.

Mel and I can’t wait to take Mary Clare and McCanless back to St. Barthelemy one day to show them both of where we once discovered each other and found each other again and realized what truly matters is no big surprise.

“Villa Rosa”

…and it’s PINK!

Surprise!

Dear Kerri,

We aren’t going to Islamorada via Miami…

We’re going to St. Barthelemy in the French West Indes (*Where we spent our honeymoon ten years ago today.)

I love you,

P

Text/Phone Conversation yesterday…

Text to me from Mel: 

islamorada

Ready for some sun?

Not too much sun.

Text to Mel from me:  ?

These were photos from old texts (obviously-that’s McCanless in the last photo), and I was utterly confused.  After no response for a few minutes, I decide to call Mel…

Me:  What are you “texting” about?  I thought you “fanny dialed” me accidentally.  What is islamorada?

Mel:  Surprise.  We fly out Thursday morning.  We’ll catch a flight out of Florence to Charlotte, then to Miami.  I’ve rented a car so we can drive down U.S. 1 from Miami to Islmorada, off the Florida Keys.  I just booked it.

Me:  What?!?

Mel:  Yep.  In three days.

MC’s Neurology Clinic Visit

Today, my mom and I drove down to MUSC with Mary Clare for a neurology clinic visit.  I was anxious to visit and talk to her neruo team to try to get a few answers.  But as is typical with neurology, I left with almost as many questions as when we arrived.  I absolutely love her neurologists and everyone that we work with, I just get so frustrated with the field of neurology.  It’s so different from cardiology.  So gray.  Cardiology seems much more black and white.  I like black and white.  Yes or no, up or down, good or bad.

I’m learning.  I’m trying.  I’m getting there.  Slowly.

Mary Clare has continued to have her daily “tics,” which are a bit nerve wracking,  but I have learned to just watch her, note them and carry on.  No biggie. She doesn’t even realize it.  She has had a few days since she was discharged last month with no tics, which are great, but as soon as I brag on those tic-free days, the next day, she’ll have 10 tics or a seizure. She woke up last Thursday with a swollen face and just not herself.  As soon as I realized her swelling didn’t seem to be “sleepy morning bed face,” I called her cardiologist NP to discuss.  She wasn’t quite herself and had a 10 second seizure with about 30 minutes of blank stares and tics.  We were on the road to MUSC within the hour.  After blood work and an echo, she was cleared by cardiology.  No troubles as far as her heart.  Neurologist was able to review blood work and we learned that her Depakote is, in fact, at a therapeutic level and her kidney and liver function is in good shape.  Good news and bad news.  The good news is that the Depakote is in her, at the appropriate level, and not harming her body.  Bad news is that she is still having seizures.  She had a 10 second seizure on the way home from Charleston that afternoon.

So today, we discussed options.  She’s doing “okay” on the Depakote.  It seems that she is more aggressive and hyper, although most children become “more mellow,” our NP said today.  She explained that there are those rare kids who are adversely affected.  (Should have known-even Benadryl hypes up both of my girls.)  Her seizure activity has definitely calmed down lately and her seizures are much shorter and not as violent.  I’m hoping and praying that the further away from the stress and trauma of open-heart surgery we get, the less seizures she’ll have.  We’ll see.   Her team also wants to have a three day, video EEG study within the next couple of weeks.  Hopefully after that, we’ll have a few more pieces to the puzzle and will be able to make further decisions regarding her Epilepsy.  Until then, we’ll continue on.  We’ll play outside everyday, eat lots of cupcakes and look forward to the pool opening up and summer!

Cupcakes at Cupcake in Charleston today.

Dizzy on Broadway 2011

We took a few minutes to snap a few photos in our yard before we left for the Dizzy Dancin’ 2011 recital, which was held at Center Theater downtown.

…and of course, the girls took this opportunity to practice their best poses and twirls!

(McCanless is in the center)

This photo was of the petites in the opening number.  Unfortunately, this is the only photo I have of McCanless in the recital.  I was so busy helping her change into her five different costumes, I had very little time to even think.  I was so very proud of McCanless.  She loves dance and it certainly shows.  She was simply amazing!  She takes her dancing very seriously and loves to perform.  (After the first costume change, I found her backstage in tears because she thought she entered the stage on the wrong side!  It only took her a minute to realize that she had several more dances (chances) to hit every step perfectly and show off her dancing skills!  And she did!)  She is quite the dancer, if I do say so myself!  So proud!

MC patiently waiting for her turn on the big stage!  She loved watching her big sister shine!  We were all anxiously awaiting to see how Miss MC would perform this year.  (If she would even perform at all, like last year.)

She did it!  She actually stood up and danced!  At times, she seemed to want to sing and dance to her own beat, but isn’t that how she takes on life?  This is Isabel and Mary Clare, two amazing little “Broadway Babies!”  I am so very proud of both of my own Broadway babies!

Always the last to know…

If you know Mel, you know that he can be a “last minute” kind of guy.  I’m often in a rush to get home to shower and “make an appearance” somewhere because Mel gave me about a 15 minute warning.   I’m not present at many of his events simply because he failed to mention them to me.  Others will graciously compliment some act of generosity, a successful motion, a great motivational speech, all of Mel’s and I try not to stare in complete ignorance like a deer in head lights.  I’m always the last to know.  He’s not big on details, and frankly, he doesn’t have the time to tell me about every little event.  When we do convene, we chat, laugh, discuss the girls and our family life mostly.  I’m very often left out of the major details of funerals, city life and his clothing company.  It works quite well this way, however,  it is nice to pass along some of his accomplishments and brag sometimes.

Case in point.  A friend sent this link to me today, which I had no idea about.

Best. Family. Ever.

What an amazing Mother’s Day we had this year!  I was treated to a yummy breakfast of cheese grits, coffee and jelly beans all prepared by McCanless yesterday morning.  That amazing treat AND and a brand new Kindle, that I’ve been dreaming of for quite a while now!  (I just can’t seem to pry the iPad away from the girls long enough to use it as a reader, so I needed my own.) Mostly, I’m happy that Mel was able to spend the entire day with us.  We went to church, went to my mother’s house for lunch and came home to play in the neighborhood.  It was such a fun day.  I’m the luckiest girl ever!  Love my girls and my hubby!

Go Clare!

Many have asked…and Mary Clare is doing great!  No seizures since last Saturday!  This morning, she and her Daddy went to an outdoor fun day for a local corporation.  Mel said she jumped in the jump castle and had a ball!  McCanless and mommy hit the shops for a bit of Mother’s Day shopping.  We met Mel and MC at the downtown marketplace and ended at lunch at the Midnight Rooster.  A typical Spring Saturday!  Yay!

Dizzy Dancin’ Dance Photos

So, my girls have my hair.  I’ve tried to convince McCanless that you should just work with what you have, not aim for something totally unattainable.  She’ll get it one day.  Until then, I’ll try my best to temporarily give my girls the curly locks they dream of.  For dance photo day, I asked both girls what they wanted.  Curls, of course.  They know how difficult this is, but once a year, we give it a shot.  We’ve tried hot rollers, sleeping in sponge rollers, even benders, paper towels, wet, dry, gel, hairspray, curling shampoo.  Everything. Once again, I pulled out a curling iron, which seems to work best, and went to work…

Ta-Da!

Unfortunately, it lasted as long as it took to step outside.  When we arrived at the dance studio (a mere few blocks away downtown), the girls’ hair was as straight as when we began the entire ordeal.  Oh well, at least I got a photo of it temporarily “curly.”  What I failed to get a photo of is Mary Clare in her dance costume.  I was so busy keeping her all together and clean before the photographer called her, I didn’t have a minute to take one myself.  She was so excited to see so many friends, she was all over the place running and playing.  Afterward, I was so concerned about getting her out of the white and black costume (complete with white gloves and pill box hat) before it was ruined, I certainly didn’t have time!  Oh well, I’ll post the photos from the recital.  I can’t wait to see what she does this year on stage.

As for McCanless, she was too busy socializing to get a photo with little sister anyway.

I didn’t get shots of her hip hop costume, her absolute favorite costume.  It was the last one of the day for her, and I think I was “done.”    She had a ball.  Dance and performing are so McCanless.  She truly loves it.  She’s in five dances in the recital this year and couldn’t be more excited.  She can’t wait.

Countdown is on…

I’ll have to admit. I’ve been in sort of a “blog block.” I try not to write each and every post about Mary Clare’s health issues, but it seems they are almost always on the forefront of my mind, no matter what is going on. Little miss has been a bit high maintenance lately, too, so that certainly doesn’t help. Things are winding down for the school year and with that comes a whirlwind of non-stop activity until summer. The countdown is on. McCanless finished up her group piano lessons with a lovely recital. I was at home with Mary Clare, but saw a video of her amazing performance via Iphone thanks to Uncle Robert! She performed her rendition of Mary had a Little Lamb to perfection! I was so proud. We have several new pieces of original art-a pottery fairy house and several paintings thanks to the amazing art class she was in and completed last month. This week, we are gearing up for dance recital. She will be in five dances this year. Amazing. She loves it and can’t get enough. I’m so proud of her. She is truly an amazing person. She loves art, music and dance. In my book these are skills you can’t fake. (You can, however, hire math tutors!) She has done super in first grade this year, but is ready for summer fun to begin. She’s also declared that she will be attending overnight camp for a week this summer, something Mel and I both agree will be a fantastic experience.

Mary Clare slept in today until 10 a.m., had a full day of play and came wandering into the den tonight at 10 p.m. demanding that her daddy or I come to bed with her. (After being in bed well over an hour.) Not sure when we’ll get her back on a schedule. She went with me today to take McCanless to dance and she thoroughly enjoyed herself. I guess she hasn’t really been around many children lately, so she was thrilled to see the little dancing girls and to be able to run around the studio and play. Mentally, she’s definitely ready to take on the world. I think I’m having a hard time with that reality. Mel and I both treat her like she’s 18 months old, something we both know will bite us. (Already is.) Not sure if it’s the “youngest child” or the “heart baby” or just “MC,” but she has us both wrapped. It’s pretty bad. Even McCanless completely spoils her and gives in to her every request. Mary Clare is a mess and so funny.

This weekend, Mel was off, so we headed to the beach. I was so consumed in Mel and the girls and taking in every moment first hand, I didn’t even think to grab my camera at any moment. No shots, whatsoever. We had a ball. Mel and the girls slept in, I made coffee runs alone (heaven), we ate Krispy Kreme donuts. We visited all of our favorite restaurants and ice cream shops. We sat on the beach for hours and we even played hookie and stayed until Monday. The girls, although so very close to each other, are so very different. On the beach, Mary Clare roamed from family to family in search of friends. She made no qualms about walking up to total strangers, young or old, boy or girl and plopping down beside them to “share” their toys or snacks. She had groups of older children -new friends-at her beck and call and gathered all around her. While McCanless determinedly jumped her rope, roamed alone looking for shells or sat under the umbrella just relaxing with her Junie B. Jones book, Mary Clare was like a little fairy floating around and socializing on the beach with everyone. She is certainly her father’s daughter, while McCanless is turning out to be more and more like her mother, enjoying her quiet and alone time.

Mary Clare also had two seizures on Saturday. The first one, was a grand mal lasting only about 20 seconds while we were on the beach. The second, another grand mal, was at a restaurant on Saturday evening, again lasting only about 20 seconds. It is amazing how differently we react now after a seizure. Dare I say we are used to it? Honestly, seeing my child have a seizure is the single most horrific thing I have ever witnessed first hand and I don’t think I will ever get over it. The images of her seizing are burned into my memory. But her sweet little dimple and infectious laugh seem to make those images melt when I see her. Every day those images get pushed back a bit further. My heart doesn’t pound as loudly as when she had her first seizure. My hands don’t nervously shake as long after. We don’t even call her doctor. We do what needs to be done, make sure she is okay and we move on. Exactly what so many other parents of epileptic children do. We’re no super heroes. We’re not doing anything special. We do have an amazing little girl who just happens to have a half heart, epilepsy, a strong will, a huge sweet tooth and a very hard head.

Gotta remember these…

While in the grocery last week, getting fresh flowers, I admired the tulips.  McCanless and I were trying to decide which color to brighten our Easter table.  After a few minutes of discussion, Mary Clare shouted from her seat in the cart, “Mom and Cannie, just get the Pink Lips and lets go!”

McCanless was sitting on the beach this week in the bright sun with a new bikini the Easter bunny brought her.  I heard her laughing and giggling to herself.

“What’s so funny, McCanless?”

She grinned and said, “Look mom, here are my gills.”

Unsure of what she meant, I turned to find her leaning to one side with her little chubby rolls lining her rib cage, creating her “gills.”

We both rolled in the sand laughing hysterically.

Easter 2011


Often, I’m asked, or told rather, “I don’t know how you do it.”

Honestly, I don’t either. Not that I have a choice in the matter, anyway. I’ve always been a “laid back” sort of person and I’m sure that helps. Acceptance is another huge factor. I’ve come to realize that although life isn’t exactly as I planned, it’s far more than I could have ever dreamed it would be. It is truly amazing. I’m not really sure why I’m asked that, honestly. I feel so lucky and so blessed with our life. Sure, the easiest path wasn’t just placed in our laps, but what we are able to truly see because of all of the bumps and curves of the path we are on is spectacular. The view is amazing and I wouldn’t want to see it with anyone else.

Wednesday, McCanless learned to ride her bike without training wheels! She’s had bikes for years, just never had the patience to “go for it” without the security of training wheels. She’s an all or nothing kind of girl. If she can’t go all the way, she’s not going anywhere. Her bike was out at my mother’s house, with a big grassy yard. She was so determined to get it, she fell and cried, and fell and cried and was so angry until she finally got it! Then, she was determined to perfect it! She’s certainly a determined soul. I pray for my patience with her every single day. I’m starting now, so when she’s a teenager, I’ll have reserves.

Mary Clare is slowly gaining strength. She’s playing outside with her big sister often (probably a little too rough) and having fun getting back into the swing of things. She’s asked to go to school, so I think she’s a bit bored with me.

She also had another seizure yesterday. At the time, I was in a bit of panic mode because it was so very different than any of her previous seizures. She’s been having her “tics” every day since being discharged from MUSC, something we’ve almost become used to. I write them all down and note the time to have a record. There is really no rhyme or reason. In fact, she only had two on Wednesday. I was hopeful that Thursday would be “tic free” day, possibly. She woke up around 9 and had two immediately. She had them about every two to five minutes. Mel went to work, McCanless was at school. I wrote down every “tic” she had until about 10, when we were playing in the sun on the back deck. She was at her sand and water table, and I had gone into the kitchen for a few minutes watching her out of the window. She came walking into the kitchen and was staring at the wall saying nothing. When I got on my knees to talk to her, she was staring right through me with that all too familiar face. Immediately, I grabbed her and ran to the den, where her “emergency backpack” was. As I tried to talk to her, she still stared into space and never responded to me. After about a minute, she seemed to pop out of it and grew angry with me because I “took her away from her sand table.” I called Mel and he and I both watched her for about 30 minutes. She had two more staring “spells” and had very strange behavior. She would be dizzy and talking like a baby, running around silly, then go back to normally playing at her table. It was very odd and very scary. I put in a call to her neurologist and just watched her. After thirty minutes, she curled up into my lap and fell asleep. She slept in my arms hard for an hour.

After talking to her neurologist and realizing that it was definitely a seizure, I’m prepared. It wasn’t one I have seen before, and I was terrified. Now, I know. We altered her Depakote and plan to talk to her neurologist regularly about her seizure activity. She’ll have blood work soon to determine the levels in her blood and we’ll go from here. Just like every other day. Each day is a new adventure with both of my sweet girls and as I’ve said, this path may not have been what I planned, but the view is spectacular and I certainly wouldn’t change it for anything.

MC News

Today, we visited our local pediatrician to have the last suture removed from Mary Clare’s chest tube site.  I didn’t realize how emotional I would be.  As Mary Clare and I walked hand in hand to the car, it hit me.  She has nothing left to complete from her Fontan!  Although her little body still has a long way to go, we are making it.   We are here.  Finally.  No more lines, leads, wires, tubes OR sutures in her little chest. (Visible, anyway.)  Nothing.  Wow.  How amazing it is that merely three weeks ago we were completing her pre-op day.  Three weeks ago.

I spoke to her neurologist NP yesterday regarding her Myoclonic seizures that she is having about 8-10 times a day.  They are sudden jumps/jerks that she has no recollection of.  They concern me a bit, but we have decided to give her current Depakote dosage another week to truly get in her system before we make any decisions.  I really hate to increase her dosage because she seems to be having a difficult time adjusting to it.  She gets dizzy and stumbles often.  She never complains but I can tell she’s not quite herself.  Sometimes, however, I can’t tell if she’s being extra MC dramatic because of everything that has happened or if it’s the Depakote, but I’m definitely noticing different mood swings.  It could be that she’s three.  She’s a girl.  She’s Mary Clare and she just had open-heart surgery.  Who knows at this point.  We’ll take our time and use her cues as to what she needs.  I am just so very thankful that she is able to be at home and recovering!

Speaking of “new normal”

We have our morning and nightly medicine ritual down so far.  MC certainly did not like taking her meds in the hospital, and still isn’t a huge fan of lasix, but every day gets better.  She is taking Depakote for her seizures- 125 mg in the morning and 250 mg at night.  (Which will increase every two weeks until we get to her therapeutic level.)  Her Enalapril twice a day- a BP medicine she’s been on since birth, her Lasix twice a day-for fluid retention and her daily asprin, of course.  Not too bad for two weeks post op.  We haven’t even had to give her any of her pain meds or even Tylenol.  Such a big girl.  McCanless has adjusted.  Or not.  I don’t think there was even a skip in her schedule.  She hasn’t missed a beat and doesn’t seem to be phased whatsoever.  She is amazing.  I am too lucky to have such adaptive girls.  They astonish me with their maturity.  We should all be so understanding.

Mary Clare has a horrible skin rash on her chest.  We called our NP and cardiologist last night and it seems to be a skin rash from all of the adhesives from bandages.  We removed everything but her steri-strips from her “scarf,” which looks amazing so far.  She always heals so quickly and so beautifully.   Her little bruised and scarred body is slowly recovering.  We also have another addition to our usual arsenal of meds for Mary Clare.  We have our Diastat, of course, to stop seizures in an emergency (which means after 2 minutes for her).  We’ve also added her O2 tank to her “goes everywhere with us backpack.”  Her Oxygen saturation levels are  still not as high as a healthy heart’s.  They hover around high eighties and low nineties.  Much better than before her Fontan, however!  (They may improve even more after Dr. Bradley closes her fenestration in the cath lab in about a year.)  So when MC has a seizure, because of her special heart, her O2 levels plummet, which is why she turns so blue/pale.   It is strictly from her labored/unstable breathing during a seizure.  For this reason, we’ll give her oxygen during a seizure.  No biggie, just a precaution!  Never hurts to have oxygen around for a heart kiddo, anyway!

Right now, as I sit at my computer desk, I have all of our doors open.  I feel a great Spring breeze and hear a neighbor cutting grass.  Mary Clare is dozing on my bed and McCanless is with Mimi.  Mimi was her substitute teacher today, much to her excitement.  I’m sure they are enjoying an after school ice cream cone or treat.

I’m sure I’ll soon get back into the habit of rolling my eyes at laundry, yard work, or all of my daily tasks and errands soon.  But right now at this moment, everything is just as it should be.  My washer has not stopped since we returned from Charleston, our yard was hit by a horrendous hail storm the day before we returned, and I have not been to the grocery store yet.  Everything is perfect.  We are all home and healthy.

Summer is just around the corner and the girls are getting excited about picnics by the pool, frequent beach trips and of course, our promised trip to Disney World.  Life could not get any better.

Life.

Slowly

getting

back

to

“normal.”

And

finding

a

new

“normal.”

Fontan Day 16:

We made it home!

Even our yard gave MC a Pinkalicious welcome!

Fontan Day 15:

1:25 PM After our eventful morning yesterday, we felt confident that we would meet with neurology today, possibly have another 24 hour EEG on Mary Clare, get an official game plan together for her seizures and be on our way.  In fact, we had already begun her “sprinkle” seizure medication routine last night.  Depakote, her seizure medicine, comes in a pill.  I open the pill and use the sprinkles on ice cream, icing, chocolate syrup, anything really, twice a day.   We were to begin a low dose morning and night for two weeks, review,  and continue to up her dose every two weeks until her appropriate therapeutic dose was given regularly.

After a long night of feeling Mary Clare toss and turn, I finally asked the nurse to give her oxycodone for pain.  The seizure yesterday seemed to have her chest and back very sore.  She woke up rather early around 7:30 AM, which is unusual for her and was very talkative and in a great mood.  I was chatting with her nurse and MC got down off of her bed to come sit in my lap.  I heard her make a “Uh” with a tick.  (Something I’ve been noticing and noting for about two months now.)  I mentioned it to her nurse, just to verify that she saw it as well, and immediately Mary Clare began to seize again.  My heart dropped, but I slowly carried her stiff and jerking body back to her bed and watched her writhe, gasp and turn blue once again.

I have seen her have grand mal seizures four times now. I wouldn’t say that I’m getting used to seeing her tiny body have a seizure, but I react very differently from the very first time she had one.  I know when she is seizing and although my mind is screaming and panicking, my body does exactly what needs to be done.  As I sit and watch what no mother should ever see, I know I’m being held.  Watching her have a seizure is heinous, to be honest.  There is absolutely nothing you can do other than watch and keep her safe.  I just hold her head and talk to her.  I don’t know if she hears me.  Probably not, but just in case, I want her to know I’m there with her.  When all is said and done and the eternal two minutes or so is over, I look back and know that there is no way I could do this alone.  Just as I am there with her, He is there with us.  Mel and I both certainly have a peace throughout it all  that even astonishes us.

We met at length with her cardiology team and Dr. Turner, our neurologist, and his team.  We feel confident that they have the best “game plan” in place.  (We just had to jump start it because she had two seizures within 24 hours.) Her emergency plan will be adjusted because of her special heart, but we will continue on with her original med plan.  Mary Clare is being given her full dose of Depakote through IV now and we will continue with her daily dose “sprinkles” twice a day.  We have been assured that her heart can handle this and from her heart’s point of view, all is well.  How amazing.

Fontan Day 14:

5:07 PM This post was intended to be a photo of the three of us on our front porch.  We were discharged this morning and were looking forward to surprising McCanless at home this evening.  We got the clear from cardiology after chest tubes were pulled and her echo was clear.  We had a follow up cardio clinic appointment set for Tuesday, discharge instructions and the car packed and ready to go.  We took photos with our nurses and hit the road around 11 AM.  It felt so nice to be in the car with Mary Clare and heading home.  The sun was shining beautifully, so we decided to celebrate and enjoy brunch outside at one of our local favorites, Fleet Landing.

The warm breeze blew her blonde ponytails and she watched dolphins dance in the ocean.  She crawled up into my lap to take a rest, I thought.  Moments later, Mel noticed her seizing.  The events that happened next were no short of a nightmare for both of us.  She stiffened and seemed to be in pain, which made Mel think it was her heart.  We realized quickly it was a seizure and within minutes, a nurse, a doctor and paramedic who all just happened to be at Fleet Landing from separate parties were at her side, checking her pulse and her chest for breaths and calling 911.  Her convulsions stopped  after about 2 minutes and she lay on her side while bystanders crowded.  She wasn’t breathing and grew pale white with silver blue lips.  Time stood still.  I just knew she was gone.

Mel was already on the phone with our cardiologist and we were told to go straight back up to 8D.  We refused the ambulance so we could skip the ER.  We left Fleet Landing after she slowly gained consciousness.  In the ambulance leads had been placed, O2 and blood sugar checked.  She was stable enough for the drive back to MUSC.  It’s funny how your brain continues to work even when all you want to do is concentrate on one thing.  As I held her in my arms in the back of our car, I noticed everyone on the street.  Most were tourists enjoying the warm, sunny day in beautiful Charleston. I couldn’t help but notice their colorful clothing, big sun hats and cameras.  I imagined they were shopping and chatting about the  rich history of the city.  Couldn’t they see that I was devastated?  Couldn’t they tell that Mel was driving like a mad man to get our baby back to the safest place for her?  Everything was in slow motion.

We are back in our room now, Mary Clare is sleeping (which is typical after a seizure) and we’ve already talked to two neurologists on-call , her surgeon, Dr. Bradley, and one of her cardiologists. Depakote, a daily medication to prevent her seizures is a must at this point.  It will be a slow process to get her dosage/amounts adjusted for her, but we’ll begin tonight with her first dose at 9:00 PM.  At least we have a plan for now.  Soon she will wake up and not remember any of this.  She may wonder why we are back at MUSC.

Her medical team strongly feels that her seizures have nothing to do with her heart.  She has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.  She has Epilepsy.  Her heart is fine.  (It’s just half sized.)  Her brain is fine.  (It just likes to have seizures.) She’s on daily asprin and meds for her little heart, and now she will be on daily meds for her little brain.  God just decided to give me a wonderfully complicated, high maintenance baby girl.  (Good thing He gave me Mel to learn how to deal.)

Fontan Day 13:

2:30  PM It’s a lazy Saturday on 8D. It’s always slow on the weekends at MUSC.  The hustle and bustle of students, visitors and medical staff slows way down. Starbucks even closes.  Mary Clare has had a great morning.  We visited the Atrium, had a yummy chicken noodle soup lunch and are now watching Tinkerbell on the Ipad.  Mel is downtown with a friend and it’s quiet, exactly what I was hoping for this Saturday.  We may take a nap and head outside later on today.  I’m thrilled to say there isn’t much new to report!

Finding music

in unusual places

like chicken noodle soup bowls, juice glasses and sippy cups.

8:00   PM Mary Clare and Mel are relaxing in the bed watching Tinkerbell for the third time today.  We’ve had such a nice day.  Mary Clare has even had fun playing dress-up with her new Tinkerbell costume that Daddy bought her downtown today.  Mel talked to McCanless this afternoon and she is certainly having a big weekend.  She spent the night with “Nonnie” and “Bubba” and Kate last night.  They went out to dinner and to see the movie, Soul Surfer.  Today, Mimi took her to Columbia to spend the night with Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert.  I just received two photos from them.  One photo was of McCanless riding with the top down of convertible and another was a photo of her first pair of shoes from Coplon’s.  Yikes.  I miss her terribly, but I know she’s in great hands and having a ball!

Notice anything?

Life on 8D

Artwork by Mary Clare, signs from our fun nurses who don’t allow boys, and other signs from nurses who know Daddy too well!

Dirty hands and fingernails from painting.

Prizes and treats everyday for taking meds!

Beautiful princess nurses who love to play!

Late night rides in strollers waiting for chest x-rays.

Fontan Day 12:

1:47 PM Mary Clare’s fluid levels from both chest tubes have been decreasing every single day.  Our cardiologist told us to expect a spike, trying not to get us too terribly excited and hopeful, but so far, little miss has proven him wrong!  She had a chest x-ray this morning and a visit to the Atrium and after a cheese pizza lunch is now soundly sleeping in her new Ariel PJ’s from Ms. Rebecca.  I’m sitting in our room with the constant bubbling sound escaping from her fluid collection chambers and Mel’s on his phone talking “city” stuff.  It’s a relaxing day.  We ordered take-out from a great sandwich shop downtown, Bubba Slyes Deli, and treated a few of our amazing nurses.  Later, we’ll head back to the Atrium, I’m sure and continue with our low-key day.

5:45 PM Guess what’s missing…

One chest tube, pacing wires and a central IV!

7:00 PM While I’m thrilled that my baby girl is one step closer to home, my heart aches at the thought of what she went through today to make that happen.  She is the strongest little fighter I know.  I’ve always been with her through every medical procedure that I’ve been able to attend.  Even when I’ve been asked to step aside, I always let them know that I can handle it and I always stay.  I’ve explained to Mel that if she has to endure it, I feel the very least I can do is be there with her.  Mary Clare likes to know what’s going on.  I try to explain beforehand what’s going to happen and how.  She’s a smart little one and you can’t fool her, so I’ve always stayed.

Today, I was told that she would do much better without me there.  Ultimately, it was my call, but I wanted to do what was best for her so let her go without me for the first time. MC went with her nurses and met the team that would remove her central IV line in her neck, her pacing wires and one chest tube.  She was given Morphine and the procedure began in the Procedure Room down the hall on our unit.  As soon as the door shut, I wished I was there with her.  I felt like I was being a coward.  I hated it.  As I sat in our “No Boys Allowed” room with Mel in silence, listening to our baby girl scream, so many thoughts raced through my mind.  Why am I allowing her endure all of this?  Why should a three-year-old know this kind of pain?  And if I’m being totally honest, did we really make the right decision to have the three staged surgeries?  It was our decision to take the risk and our decision to put her through this.  I was angry at myself that it was her on the table at that moment and not me.  If I could exchange hearts with her, I would do it in a moment, without a doubt.

And the inevitable question, what’s in her future?

I try not to go there.  I try to appreciate every single moment that we have, but I’m a mother.  Every mother dreams of her daughter’s first date, magical wedding day and seeing her become a mother.  Dare I wish for these moments for her?

It’s at times like these that I have to stop and be thankful for the moments we have shared.  We have  so many magical memories already and for that I am forever grateful. I can only hope and pray that she doesn’t remember all of this, one small window in her third year of life.  None of us are promised tomorrow, so yes, I will wish sparkly pink prom dresses and a beautiful wedding gown and babies for her.  I will laugh at her eye rolls and pappi obsession and love of all things Pinkalicious right now.  I will embrace her special half heart and thank God that he blessed me with such a miracle.  I will thank God for today.

Fontan Day 11: Pink, I said. Pink! Pink! Pink!

2:00 We have quite a busy girl these days!  She’s napping from a great morning of costume changes, lunch outside and lots of Pinkalicious surprises!  Mel came back into town last night after a couple of days “catching up” at home.  He visited with McCanless one last time on his way out of town and we all “Face Talked” on our phones.  (We could see each other via my iPhone and Mel’s Iphone)  It was so great to see her and let her see that her baby sister is doing so well.  Mary Clare’s chest tubes are draining quite nicely and her trend continues to be on a steady downward slope!  Yay!  Her cardiologist is convinced that we’ll have one more day of an increase in fluids, but so far, she’s proving him wrong!!  She gets stronger everyday and seems to be feeling much better.  Last night, we visited the Atrium and she painted her hands and arms blue.  I’m beginning to see more and more of my “old” MC shining through!

We had several visitors yesterday.  Ms. Reagan brought pink cupcakes, pink icing and pink sprinkles and we had a cupcake decorating party.  Sprinkles were everywhere.  Aunt Kacy, Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert entertained us too!  Normalcy is setting in, finally!  Unfortunately, exhaustion is too.

Mel brought with him a car full of pink goodies and pink treats from friends and family, including a Pinkalicious cake!

Sylvia’s Cakes in Lancaster sent MC a Perfectly Pink Pinkalicious cake and cupcakes!  So yummy!

Lunch at Halo across from the hospital.  Collection chamber boxes are in the back of the stroller.

Watching “Annie” on the Ipad.  Thanks Aunt Liz and Uncle RahRah!

Tuckered out in her beautiful “Annabelle Bow” after our morning out!

We were finally able to wash MC’s hair tonight!  (She’s had sticky EEG hair for almost a week now.)  I held her back in her bed and he used cups of water over a basin.  It was tough trying to support her without hurting her back or chest or get tangled up in all of her wires, lines, tubes, and big fluid boxes, but we did it!  She thoroughly enjoyed it and closed her eyes as we scrubbed it and poured warm water over her blonde locks.

Happy 1 week Fonanniversary, MC!

6:00 AM One week ago today at this moment, I was handing over MC to her team of docs.  It’s amazing how far she has come and what she can do one week post op.  We had a fun afternoon yesterday with a visits from Aunt Kacy and a few friends.  Yesterday was the first day MC has been around another child and I think it was great for her.   I’m anxious to get McCanless here to visit her baby sister.  I know they will both love to see each other.

MC started off her day pretty slowly.  She was in no mood to talk to her cardiology team or Dr. Bradley, her surgeon.  She slept in and lounged around most of the morning and didn’t even want to head to the Atrium for a morning visit like we usually do.  We took a walk around the hospital and watched Nemo for a bit.  After lunch, I made her get up and we went to the Atrium.  She painted and played for a while once we were there.  Later on, her nurse changed the bandages on her chest, which was not fun, but she had a  great afternoon playing with Parker, my friend, Lee’s 7-year-0ld.  They laughed and giggled and he even painted her toenails.  It was amazing to see how happy she was just being around another child.

Her nurse came in this morning and checked her 24 hour fluid output from her chest tubes.  Her output is still somewhat high.  Her left tube output was 115 mls and her right tube output was 150 mls.  We’ll get there.

She continues to be a bear with taking her oral meds.  She’s just sick of them.  I can’t blame her, though.  She still doesn’t have much of an appetite, although she did chow down on a handful of Coco Puffs yesterday.  I’m hoping today she will want to eat more, get her meds down (and keep them down) and have enough energy to make it to the playroom.  Yesterday, a new neighbor arrived, a HLHS baby girl.  It was great talking to her family and being able to show them how great MC is doing.  As I talked to her mom about feeds, tummy issues and sleeping habits, the memories of her very first surgery came flooding back.  It seemed like an eternity away until I really started talking about it.  It still amazes me how much my baby girl has been through.  No wonder she’s so sassy!

Parker painting MC’s toenails yesterday!

7:33 AM The Princess is still sleeping soundly and I’ve enjoyed watching the sun rise on the Atrium.  It’s truly a lovely view, especially for my sweet girl who lives to visit the magical playroom everyday.  I snapped a few photos and thought I’d share.  On 8D, parents are required to stay with the children as primary care givers.  (Not that I would be anywhere else anyway.)  We do have a fold out chair that acts as a twin bed at night; however, I opt to sleep right in the bed with Mary Clare.  She loves to “get in her spot” smushed right beside me.

Do you see sleeping beauty all bundled up?

10:30 AM Mary Clare just downed 5 meds so I’m letting her take a break with a bit of “Max and Ruby” on Nick.  (I’m also giving myself a mental break after that ordeal.) Otherwise, she’s had a slow start today.  Our plan was to hit the Atrium at 10, when it first opens, but the docs have not rounded yet, so we’re waiting on them.  It’s amazing how full our days actually are.  We are never just sitting around.  We have appointments, and meetings with various docs, nurses schedule various events (dressing changes/IV meds/ check-ins) and we always have Mary Clare “events.”  I should have known that Mary Clare would wait to be plugged into an IV pole, with two chest tubes and collection chambers, and wireless telemetry leads to refuse to go potty in a pull up.  I’ve waited two years to really try to potty train her because I just knew it would be an ordeal to be in panties while in the hospital. Or in the least, I thought she would revert BACK to pull-ups-so I waited.  This week, though she is as potty trained as it gets, even through the night.  Dry as a bone.  My children are as hard headed and head strong as they come.  Shall we take a moment to pray for my patience?

Have I mentioned how blown away by all of the love and support we have received?  I have been amazed at the number of people who love our baby girl and pray for her everyday. I just read an eNewsletter from Thomas Hart and saw that the student body has raised $1,351.00 so far for the American Heart Association in honor of MC.  They have been selling buttons with her photo and “Pinkalicious” on them, of course!  So amazing.  I also have hundreds of photos of MC fans wearing pink overfilling my inbox.  We have seen photos of friends, students, co-workers, strangers, store owners, pets, people from the East coast to the West coast all donning their pink for MC.  We have photos of pink balloons, pink ribbons and pink decorations from everywhere on store fronts and houses!  My heart also overfills with happiness and gratitude. I can’t wait to show her the photos  one day and  tell her of the Day of Pink that was just for her!   Pinkalicious author, Victoria Kann, also contacted us and sent Mary Clare a Pinkalicious care package with Pinkalicious dolls and signed books.  How amazing is that?  We are blessed beyond measure.  Thanks be to God!

Fontan Day 9: Post Op Day 6

7: 50 AM Little Miss is sleeping soundly, so I thought I’d take a moment to update.  (It’s getting harder now that she is mostly awake during the day.)  Yesterday, we had an amazing day!  We really enjoyed getting out in the sun and playing in the Atrium, but I think it may have been tough on Mary Clare.  She certainly wanted to get up and go. Her mind is so ready to tackle the world, but her little body just can’t handle it all yet.  She still doesn’t have much of an appetite and has been vomiting.  (Usually after she takes her meds.)  She’s so funny and  always wants to be in a shirt and a top.  She insisted on dressing in “real clothes and shoes” yesterday for our outing.

She also stood up and walked a bit at the train table in the Atrium and we even got her in the tub yesterday afternoon.  (Finally going to the potty thanks to an enema-which resulted in a tub bath.)  It was a quite an event getting her to and from the tub.  Mel had left about an hour prior, so it was just me and her nurse wheeling her IV pole, tube boxes, and lines and inching our way to the bathroom with a naked MC.  She was so happy to be taking a bath, but demanded her Barbie with the swim suit!  She sat for a few minutes and played with her Barbie as her nurse and I hovered over her with her gear.  I got her all cleaned up and she crashed within about 2 minutes of being in her clean bed and clean jammies around 6:30 PM.  She woke up at 11PM and we sat in bed munching on ice and watching late night television and Face Talked with Daddy on the Iphone.

Her nurse had to change the dressing on her central line in her neck yesterday, which is surgically sutured.  (Quite an experience.)   And when she finished, Mary Clare looked up at me in all of her bandages and lines and said, “But Mommy, I’m not beautiful like this.”

I had to explain that all of the scars on her tiny body were beautiful examples of all that she has accomplished.

I finally spoke to my 7-year-old teenager yesterday.  She finally decided she wanted to take time to talk to her mom.  Mel went home yesterday to check on the house, work a bit and go to his council meeting tonight, so he surprised McCanless after school!  They went on a date to Bow Thai and called me from there.  She already sounds so much older.   Mimi is keeping her involved in all of her after school activities and keeping her busy!  Of course everyone at home is keeping close eyes on her, spoiling her, I’m sure.  She has always amazed me with her maturity.  I’m so thankful she understands and realizes why I have to be away from her right now.  I thank God everyday for my many blessings.

Fontan Day 8: Post Op Day 5

2:00 Mary Clare is resting right now and Mel just left to go home for a few days, so I’m updating early today.  We’ve had a great day so far.  We were encouraged to get Mary Clare up and moving.  It helps get the fluid out of her chest and into her two bubbling boxes that go with her everywhere. All of the fluid coming off of her chest is closely monitored.  One box for her right tube and one box for her left tube.  Her fluid output increased yesterday and it still up today, but that’s to be expected.  Her numbers should go up and down, we just hope the trend is on a downward slope for the most part.  We’ll get there.  It is a gorgeous day in Charleston and very warm. It was great to get out of the hospital and enjoy the sun.  It’s amazing how uplifting a stroll in the “real world” can be.  We even sat outside at a little cafe on the MUSC campus and had a quick lunch.  Mary Clare sat in her wagon in the sunlight with her wireless monitor and boxes.

Mary Clare still has pretty bad back pain, but really only complains of it when we have to move her.  She looks like a little old lady when I have to pick her up.  She keeps her back stiff and holds on to my neck.  It’s quite an ordeal to get anywhere, even across the room, but it’s necessary and certainly worth it.  She still refuses to go to the potty, but we are working on ways to help get that under control.  We had a meeting with her neuro team today and had a few questions answered regarding her epilepsy.  They feel she has a genetic predisposition to have seizures, which means she would have had them with our without the heart condition.  They know this because her seizures are generalized; her whole brain is involved, not just one area of the brain.   Her neuro team will is watching her closely and will probably do another EEG before we leave.  Mel and I feel that if her seizures are as few and far between as they have been at home we’ll continue to just monitor her and not go forward with the anti-seizure meds. We love her nuero docs, who aren’t pushing the meds, so we feel good about this decision.  It is our understanding that the combination of the stress/trauma her little body has just gone through plus her predisposition to have seizures just raised her threshold to have seizures, which caused the increase in seizure-type activity.   (Much like a Febrile seizure, when a child has fever.)  We know she is prone to seizures, we just have to know how to react when she has one and just realize that sometimes she may be more likely to have them than other times.

She loves the underwater sea theme of the hospital.  One of her favorite things to do is go to the first floor and see the saltwater aquarium.  We’ve found Nemo and Dory in a tank with the Easter bunny!  She can sit and watch the tank forever.  Right now, we are in our room watching Finding Nemo and taking a rest from our outside time and hospital stroll.  The Children’s Atrium opened at 2:00, so we’ll soon head down there for another try today.  As always, we have met amazing families and babies who are defying the odds and are fighting with everything they have to survive.  It is truly humbling to see.  We live such an amazing life and have an amazing little girl. We are so fortunate to have so many friends and family caring for us and praying for her everyday.  God has certainly blessed us in so very many ways.

Fontan Day 7

7:30 PM Another day down.

Mary Clare had a very tough day yesterday.  She refused to take her oral pain meds, and wasn’t on IV pain medication.  She hasn’t complained at all of her chest, as I assumed. She has been having severe back pain.  We’ve ruled out several ideas, but have really not determined the exact reason.  We spoke to a surgeon on her team and he seemed to think it had to do with “entry of the chest cavity.”  Basically, how her little rib cage was ripped apart and bruised.  So she has been given Toradol, which should help if it’s muscle pain. Last night, she threw up every time her nurse tried to give her meds, so we’ve started her on meds for nausea.  Today has been better and it’s not as much of a struggle to get them down.  (She’s a stubborned little one!)   She has also learned that if she says she doesn’t hurt (even when she does), the nurses and doctors don’t touch her and she doesn’t have to take medicine, but we are getting there.  One baby step at a time.

Today, she has been awake more and has been happier.  We tried to play in the Atrium, the children’s play center.  We unplugged her, piled her into her transport wagon and wheeled her down stuffed with blankets, pillows and all of her necessary gear.  She was so excited but just couldn’t muster up enough energy to do much of anything.  She wanted to play so badly, but it was simply too painful to maneuver her little body.  We painted and walked around and stared up at the colorful kites and basked in the sunlight of the Atrium windows.  After about 20 minutes, she was frustrated and in tears, so we headed back up.  She wanted to sit quietly in her wagon for a while once we were back in our room.  The quiet, and stillness seemed to calm her.  It saddens me when I see her sitting quietly like that, just staring at the wall or into space.  She seems to know that her body needs time to heal.  She understands all of this somehow.

She also ate for the first time tonight.  Cheese pizza!  She just hasn’t had an appetite at all.  Not even the bag full of pink candy from Uncle Robert enticed her.  As I type this, she is watching Tangled for the second time today and I’m hoping and praying that she will go to the potty.  If not, at 8PM, they have to catheterize her.  Although we seem to be having a few bumps in the road, she has amazed me with her determination and stamina.  She is such an amazing little girl.

10:00 PM So, Mary Clare and Mel are in bed watching Tangled for the third time today and guess what?  MC went to the potty.  (She decided to go just as the nurse was walking down the hall with her catheterization “tools” ready to get started.  Nurse Kyra smiled when she heard the news and gladly returned them. We all cheered and “high fived” Ariel. Definitely a great ending to our day!  Mary Clare has also been taking her oral meds like a champ.  (Well not quite like a champ, but we’re getting them-and keeping them-down-so that means she’s a champ in our book.) Goals for  MC tomorrow:  taking another trip to the Atrium (actually nurses orders-the movement helps keep the fluid moving), talking all oral meds, going to the potty and eating a little more.  Baby steps.  I’ll probably need help remembering baby steps when we try to get our three-year-old back to “normal” when we get home.  I have a feeling it may take baby steps to reverse the effects of all of this attention “Ariel” is receiving, but she deserves every single bit of it!

Fontan Day 6: PCICU to 8D



Fontan Day 5: PCICU Friday

Noon: A case is “rolling” so I”m updating. MC is sleeping now, and I just watched a family pray and thank God for Dr. Bradley’s healing hands on their own child, a 12-month-old baby boy with an AV Septal defect. Amazing.

Last night, I went back to our room about 11 p.m. and slept. I just knew that I would wake up and go back sooner than I did, but I didn’t move until my phone alarm went off at 6 a.m. I showered and headed back to PCICU to relieve Mel around 7 a.m. He stayed with her all night. We both just didn’t want her to wake up and not understand where she was or not know where we were. Thankfully, she has not really been aware of what’s going on much. She is in and out and very groggy. She was in so much pain last night, but would not take her meds. She did not want anything to do with taking them orally, so the only relief she has been receiving is through her Morphine IV, occasionally. The problem with that, is she is itching terribly. She has been given Benadryl for the itch, but I’m just praying that she will soon trust us enough to take her Oxycodone and Tylenol! (Oral pain medicine.) They are pulling her central chest drain tube, and IV to her heart now and will remove a few lines. She is draining a ton through her three tubes now. We may be able to go to the PC Step Down unit, 8D today, which is earlier than I expected. She will keep the line in her neck and arm and her two chest drain tubes. She is in a private “area” glass room in PCICU now, but we can’t actually stay with her. Once we move up to 8D, we will both be able to stay with her.

I’m very concerned with her seizure activity. Yesterday, she was having occasional, quick loud breaths./shout outs. I’ve noticed she’s had them for a while, even before surgery, but they were very few and far between. Maybe a few times a week. Usually at bedtime, just before she fell asleep. She had about 10-15 yesterday with an occasional “stare” episode. Last night, I read Pinkalicious to her and she had what I know was a seizure. She had the most bizarre facial expressions, ones that I have learned only happen with one of her seizures. She was unresponsive for a minute or so, then returned her interest to her book. Today, they are more pronounced and are happening pretty often. The “shout outs/yells” are longer and her blank stares are longer. Thankfully, Dr. Turner has ordered an EEG to read her little brain waves and get to the bottom of it all. I’m pretty sure that there isn’t much that can be done, I’ll just be glad to get him, the expert, involved.

It has been a difficult day for me. As a mom, I want her to respond to me and I want to be able to comfort her. Right now, for the brief moments she is awake, she is very angry. It almost makes me happy to see her feisty little spirit, even diluted and momentary, but my heart breaks because I can’t fix everything. She woke up for a moment earlier and looked up at her beautiful young nurse with a long blonde ponytail and smiled. When the nurse talked to her in her sweet voice, Mary Clare asked her if she was Cinderella. I’m hoping and praying to God that she is dreaming of beautiful princesses and magical fairy tales and will remember this as a quick visit to see her Cinderella nurse.

4:15 Another “case rolling”…Great news to report!  Dr. Turner came down with a team from Neurology.  He is amazing!  After talking to us about her seizureish activity, they ordered a 24 hour EEG.  If she shows enough patterns/activity to determine exactly what’s going on, it may not have to be that long.  Unfortunately, we have to remain in PCICU until the EEG is complete.  (Which means moving to the step down unit, 8D, is postponed a bit.)  I’m completely fine with that, as long as we are getting down to the bottom of these seizures.  Dr. Turner seems to think they may be myoclonic seizures.  We’ll see.

Around 12:30, they gave her IV morphine and Versed  to to keep her quiet while Dr. Bradley removed her central tube and IV.  She also had one IV removed in her little hand.  That leaves one on the opposite side of that same hand, one in her neck, two drain tubes and pacing wires, telemetry leads, pulse ox and oxygen.  We’re getting there!  She is in much better spirits this afternoon and even watched Happy Feet.  Her chest pain seems to have lessened.  She has even rolled on her side a few times to change positions and get comfy.  Right now they are placing her EEG lines in her hair and we were told they were more “permanent” this time.  (Last time sticky gel was used to keep them in place for an hour or so.)  I’m hoping Ariel will have hair left after this.  Actually, it may work out well.  We’ll just have to buy a red wig.

Fontan Day 4: ICU Thursday

3:20 Mel and I slept for a few hours last night and were back in the PCICU bright early to see our Pinkalicious girl today. I knew today would be a difficult day for her. She is slowly but surely waking up and hating everything that is going on. Her three chest tubes are draining nicely and appropriately. She is on lasix, to help with fluid, but her eyes are still a little puffy. She hasn’t opened her eyes much, but has spoken occasionally. She told me she wanted to wear clothes, which is out of the question right now, so I tucked her blanket around her and told her she looked beautiful. She said she was “stuck.” I guess all of the lines and tubes have her feeling trapped, too. She is still on various drips, down to about 7 at this point. (Various ones for blood pressure, pain, etc.) Her nurse stopped her Precedex, the med that makes her sleepy and started her IV Toradol (Similar to ibuprofen.) Just now, a case was “rolling,” which is ICU talk for “new kid coming in,” so we were kicked out temporarily. Although still on oxygen, her O2 sats are running in the low 90’s and she’s still pink. She has been sipping on her juice all day little by little and is tolerating that well. A nurse asked, “She is three, correct?” Mary Clare, eyes still closed, said, “I’m not three. I am four.” Her voice is a raspy whisper, but she still has her spunk.

I’m convinced that she is having seizure “activity.” I want to call Dr. Turner in pediatric neurology and just let him know my thoughts. Not that anything can be done at this point. I just want to talk to him. I’m afraid that the trauma of surgery is causing her little brain to have seizures.

We laughed this morning after we called around 6 a.m. to check on her. Her night shift nurse told us she created a monster. She explained that after learning of Mary Clare’s great fondness of her green pappy, she just knew that she would love the “Sweet Ease,” which is a sugary syrup that nurses dip pacifiers in to soothe infants. Three years ago, as an infant, MC would have clear crust all around her mouth and chin from so much “Sweet Ease.” Turns out, she still LOVES it. The nurse said she begged for “sugar pappy” all night! I laughed but had to explain that she didn’t create our candy monster that we did that a long time ago!

All and all it has been a long day for us, but we know it is even more difficult for our sweet baby girl. We are so thankful for her progress thus far and hope and pray that she continues to be strong.

Fontan Day 3: Operation Day Wednesday

9:30 a.m. We got our wake-up call bright and early this morning at 4 a.m., and jumped out of bed. Mary Clare was her usual “non-morning” self, so I just left her in her purple heart night gown and wrapped her up in her blanket as we loaded up once again. We arrived at surgical check-in at 5:30. After vitals check, she was given pink Versed. This is an oral drug that is given to children to make the “hand off” easier. By 6, she was loopy eyed and playing Ariel with the nurses. They placed a pink flower surgical cap on her head and she asked me to go with her into surgery. When I told her I’d see her in a few minutes, she smiled and took off with the nurse. As we left the holding area, I shot a glance through the double doors and saw about 7 blue scrubbed people walking with her. This image is burned into my memory. For some reason, it’s comforting. I know everyone that is here, is on our side. I was assured this when I was walking to get Starbucks downstairs, I saw a familiar face and made small talk. The doc beside my friend, asked me if I was the mom of the cute blonde that just went back. He explained that he, having three daughters of his own, was singing Sleeping Beauty songs with her. When he called her Sleeping Beauty, she quickly corrected him, “I’m Ariel!” He said they hated to put her to sleep because she was so much fun. They assured me that once she was back “there” she would be given something by mask to breathe and fall asleep. She will not feel the sticks and pain of a central IV in her neck and several other PICC lines, peripheral lines, etc. Dr. Bradley began his work around 8 and we will be paged with updates on the hour. By now she should be on heart-lung bypass.

10:20 a.m. Just received our first page. Mary Clare is on heart/lung bypass and Dr. Bradley is “working away.” He explained yesterday that it will take a while to actually begin working on her heart. He must get through scar tissue from previous surgeries and procedures. I am blown away by the support we are feeling. So many people are wearing pink and sending Pinkalicious thoughts and prayers our way. We certainly have a loved little girl. We are so humbled and so very, very blessed. Thanks be to God.

1:20 Just received a page from PCICU. Dr. Bradley is finished and she is off of heart/lung bypass. It took a while to control bleeding, which is typical, and everything seems to be a bit ahead of schedule. Dr. Bradley will be coming into PCICU waiting room to talk to us soon. I’m anxious to see my baby girl with her brand new “scarf” (scar) She may not be awake/extubated today, but still, I’m ready to see her little face. We cannot believe all of the love and support we have received. What an amazing feeling knowing how many people are loving and praying for our sweet Pinkalicious Ariel. We are so thankful and blessed beyond measure.

3:40 Mel and I were able to go back into PCICU to see Mary Clare. We were only there for a few minutes before she started blinking and moving a bit. She is still heavily sedated and intubated, so they are certainly not ready for her to wake up. We tried to keep quiet as the nurse explained all of the meds they were administering. Somehow, she sensed that we were there. They sent us away. It broke my heart not to be able to hold her or talk to her. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, however, I know the long road to recovery has only begun.

7:47 p.m. It has been a long afternoon. The early part of the day seemed to fly by, for some reason, but this afternoon has been difficult. Mel and I went back to see Mary Clare again around 5:30 and once again, we were asked not to speak loudly, as she was responding to our voices. She was trying her hardest to fight over the ventilator, which is not what they wanted. They ran CPAP trials to determine if she could come off of the vent, but she wasn’t quite ready to breathe on her own. My body ached to hold her, to touch her. My mind is telling me I have to wait, to keep quiet, not to touch her, but I can almost hear my heart pounding, wanting so badly to grab her, smell her sweet scent and kiss her cheeks.

No mother wants to see her baby hurting. It is truly the most difficult part of this journey. Seeing her wrapped in tubes and lines breaks my heart. She has her wall of IV drips and bags behind her and has three large drain tubes peeking from under her covers. She has a central line in her neck and several IVs in her arms and legs. Her pacing wires are in her chest and, of course, the lines in her nose and her little taped mouth with her vent are very difficult to see on her perfect little face. I did notice that her little toes are not their usual blue. They are actually pinkish! She will be thrilled. Her toenails and fingernails are a pale pink.! (Still somewhat purplish, but not her typical dark gray blue!) It is amazing. Her stats were already in the low 90’s-upper 80’s! Still under all of those lines and wires is my little Pinkalicious Ariel! I can’t wait to see her open her big brown eyes.

Right now, I’m back in the waiting room. Mel is having a bite to eat with his family. They feel like she’s ready to be extubated, so they asked me to step out. Her nurse said she was doing beautifully, and once they extubate her, she’ll be breathing on her own! Her nurse also told me that she asked Mary Clare if she was in pain, and MC shook her head no. She also pointed to her tube, indicating that she wanted it out! That’s my girl, letting everyone know exactly what she wants.

I am utterly humbled by the outpouring of love and support and prayers we have received. Nothing I can ever say will be enough to express our gratitude. God is holding us and carrying us through this journey. It is truly a surreal experience. My heart is so full.

10:30 Mary Clare is extubated and sleeping.  Her night shift nurse is amazing and said she was going to make sure Mary Clare would get a peaceful and painless night’s sleep, which is exactly what I was hoping to hear!  Mary Clare was vaguely awake for a few moments after she was extubated.  I was talking to the nurse about getting a paci  to have for later and Mary Clare said, “Green Pappi”  telling me to be sure to get her her favorite, a green one.  Her nurse also said  that immediately after extubation, my MC was telling them she did not like the tube.   Apparently, it’s pretty rare that a patient talks so soon after a vent tube is removed.  “She’s a talker, I can tell” was her nurse’s response.  I can’t wait to hear that voice again tomorrow!  Thanks be to God!

Look, pink lips!

Fontan Day 2: Pre-Op Tuesday

Echo, EKG, chest x-rays, and blood work

…and a few movies on the Ipad.

Fontan Day 1: Heading to Charleston

I’m counting today because I woke up this morning, ready to tackle the day. I hit the ground running. For some reason, I feel like I’m more mentally ready to start this than I was three weeks ago. I held my breath all morning long, however, and have waited to pack because I think somewhere deep down, I thought that just maybe, I’d get another call from MUSC with a delay in game plan. It’s now 11 and I think I’ll pack.

It was Monday morning, March 7 around 9 that I got the call last time postponing Mary Clare’s Fontan. Maybe somewhere deep down I was hoping that it would be postponed forever.

It’s not. It’s here. And as much as mother can prepare to leave one baby behind and place her youngest baby in the hands of another, I think I’m ready.

Mel left for work to save the world in the few short hours he has left in Hartsville and I’ve got a mountain of laundry to do before I stuff our car with bags. It’s amazing what you think of at different moments preparing for such an extended leave of absence. I was hoping to plant a few ferns on the back deck, as I always do this time of year. (No such luck because of the rain today.) I ran to Wal-mart to purchase a new shower curtain liner, as I’ve been meaning to do this week. I have to drop off the girls’ Easter dresses for altering and monogramming and I cleaned out the Easter candy dish. I may go into the attic and pull out my Easter baskets and decorations to surprise McCanless when she visits our house with Mimi while we are away.

I have yet to pack.

Tonight we’ll check into our usual stay, and try to sleep. Tomorrow, bright and early, we’ll begin a day of pre-op for Mary Clare. We are here, yet again. Time is so relative. And so very, very precious.

Last week, Coker found us.

The girls and I were cruising along in the golf cart on a sunny afternoon. We saw a mass of blonde fur jumbled up on the water’s edge near a neighbor’s house and as we slowed to a stop to investigate, we realized there was a wet puppy barreling toward us. Before we knew it, she jumped onto our cart and she hasn’t left us since. I called all of our neighbors, called every vet in Hartsville, Facebooked her and even called the Humane Society. She’s ours. A blonde, fuzzy, Golden Retriever mix with a short tail, we call Coker. So today, while McCanless was at school, Mary Clare (who calls her Fuzzy) and I took her to the vet to make it official. After a thorough exam and all of her boosters, the vet looked up at me and said, “You have a special needs puppy here.”

What happened next, I will never be able to explain. Irony doesn’t even begin. Chance, perhaps, but I just can’t shake the feeling that Coker was certainly meant to be in our family. The vet went on to explain that we have a puppy with a CHD. “CHD stands for Congenital Heart Defect, which means she was born with her heart defect,” the vet explained as if I had never heard the words. She further explained that Coker has a very loud murmur, most likely an enlarged heart and she needs to see a specialist for an echo to determine her exact CHD. We could even feel her murmur on the outside of her chest. She rated her heart on a scale of 1 to 6, 6 being the most severe from what she could tell without an echo. She rated Coker’s CHD a 6. She referred us to an out-of-town specialist and told us that she would require heart surgery soon if we decided to take that route. Without the surgery, Coker will not live to be one. She mentioned low oxygen, but good color, possibly vomiting, aortic stenosis, etc.. It was almost as if I was in Charleston at MUSC for one of Mary Clare’s cardiology appointments.

She said that it would take a special family to care for her and that it was our decision to continue on to the veterinarian specialist or not. As I watched Mary Clare tug and pull on her leash and Coker gently nudging Mary Clare’s side playfully tickling her, I knew our decision. They share a friendship and bond that goes far beyond two little broken hearts.

Cousins

Just a bit of “easy reading” for the weekend.

The Fontan

This adorable heart quilt was made by my wonderful sister-in-law, Casey!  Isn’t it amazing?  She is so very thoughtful and such a crafty girl!  What else is amazing, is the back of the quilt has the exact same sweet, pink, princess fabric that Keri from Heartfelt Couture used on Mary Clare’s hospital gown and pillow!  She will be completely pinkaliciously coordinated for her hospital stay!  I cannot thank you both enough for making my sweetheart smile!

Sometimes, I use my dining table chargers as paint pallets for the girls.  (A quick spin in the dish washer and they’re clean!  Works fabulously!)  Last week, as I was putting away Mary Clare’s paint and brushes, I noticed her pallet.  Obviously, she played in the paint and mixed all colors with her fingers.  Not unusual.  Typically, however, she mixes and mixes until the paint is gray.  McCanless and I thought MC did a great job on the pallet, so she and I took photos…

Read Across America Day

Daddy was the 1st grade reader for Read Across America Day last week.  (I know he had just as much fun as the kids.) He had them all laughing out loud and clowning around.  He chose to read them Splat the Cat on the Ipad, of course, which was a huge hit.  He’s a natural.  Maybe Daddy will be a teacher in his next career!

The State of the City address by our very own Daddy (and Mayor)

I want to begin by thanking members of city council for being here tonight…

I must thank Senator Gerald Malloy and Representative Jay Lucas for always finding the time to come home and support their hometown. I thank Coker College for allowing us to use their beautiful facility—this is proof of a strengthening relationship, a bridge between the city and the campus. I also want to thank Sonoco, HilexPoly and Progress Energy for their continued support of our city, and, of course, my fellow Hartsville residents.

I think I should start by explaining why I felt the need to address the city. The Constitution says that from time to time a president will, “give information to Congress about the State of the Union, that he will recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” I think this should also be true on a local level.  I am an advocate of accountability and transparency of government. I was elected to lead and that gives me a responsibility to communicate the city’s agenda, to be open about its operations. I owe the community and I have an obligation to address concerns. I think it’s necessary to take time to review where we’ve been and what we’re working towards, to remind ourselves of the things that make us great and the reasons why Hartsville endures.

In the first few weeks of 2011 we have faced incredible challenges, but those challenges revealed our strength—our faith—in each other and in our community. We have seen tragedies and disasters, both natural and unnatural, and we have rallied to provide shelter, aid and compassion for our neighbors. In the first few weeks of the New Year I have witnessed an outpouring of love, people banding together during trials, quite literally, by fire, and like gold it has only made our values stronger. Odds are that if you are here you believe in something greater and more consequential than yourself, that you have a vision for Hartsville. By attending tonight, by taking an active interest in the state of your city, you have made a commitment to help realize that vision. You recognize that only together can we move forward. With a sincere and unified effort we can forge an even better place to live, work, study and raise our families.

I dream for Hartsville to be not just a flagship for Darlington County but a model for the entire state.  When people get the opportunity to move to South Carolina I want them to choose us.  Our city is a remarkable one and we have so much to be proud of. We are home to international and domestic corporations, some of the finest academic institutions in the southeast, a thriving fine arts community, one of the biggest Veteran memorials in the state, and a botanical garden larger than New York’s Central Park. We have the attractions, we have the resources, and we are marketable, but more important than that, we have committed people. Our town was founded by self-starters, motivated individuals who inspired and demanded action from those around them.  There are those who continue that spirit, people who have volunteered countless hours of their time because they recognize Hartsville’s potential and because they are not content to just leave things as they are. I’m reminded of earlier this year, when an ice storm threatened to bring this city to a grinding halt I received a call from Scott Nelson.

He said, “I know the DOT won’t be able to make their way out here soon.  Would you mind if I took my truck and started scraping Green Street?” That is the kind of initiative I’m referring to. Thanks to volunteers we were able to dig out this city and provide aid to those without power and electricity.  We should follow our own example. We are go-getters. Hartsville is great but we can do even better.

Improving the city is accomplished by working together to change both the social and the physical landscape. We have made beautification a priority. Our Public Service department should be commended on their hard work and how well they have begun implementing plans to make our town more attractive. A few weeks ago City Council passed a nuisance ordinance that will prevent property owners from allowing their yards to grow wild with a gross amount of weeds, bushes and undergrowth. We have over 75 condemned houses slated for demolition starting in this summer. Hartsville has also received $400,000 in grant money from the EPA for the revitalization of former industrial and commercial sites.

Though we expect these measures to be met with some opposition I want to remind people that these actions will be taken to promote the general health, safety and welfare of all people of the city.  Unkempt lots and abandoned buildings create fire hazards, provide venues for crime, and lessen the value of our homes.  They are public eyesores and infringe on rights of others to have a safe and beautiful community.  We also need to think of beautification in a broader sense, and do more to help the environment.  This morning I met with Sonoco to discuss the creation of a city wide recycling initiative to keep Hartsville beautiful for our children and our children’s children.

Betterment also involves embracing new technologies and investing in the future.  In the past year we have explored bold new solutions and the creation of a Hartsville fiber optic network.  We have sought government grants to fund the implementation of a infrastructure that would allow the city to provide fast internet access, high-definition cable and a dependable phone service to our own citizens.  In 2011 we will continue to pursue a vision of Hartsville that is fully equipped to compete in the twenty-first century.  We have employed new technologies to upgrade the basic services of our city and improve our standard of living.  Our Finance Department has implemented online bill pay which provides a faster, easier, way for us to pay our utilities.  We received a $1.5 million grant for digital water meters that can be check wirelessly, increasing our efficiency and saving the city money.  We have begun using Nixle, an online public safety system that allows citizens to receive emergency notices from the city via email or text message.  Also, through the city website, the police department can share current neighborhood crime data with the CrimeReports system.  These tech-initiatives strengthen education, encourage economic development, and enhance information services and public safety.

While on the issue of public safety I want to thank Chief Deputy Jerry Thompson who has done an excellent job serving as interim police chief. Under his direction we have seen a greater police presence: regular door-to-door patrols downtown, increased patrols around the city and checkpoints throughout. Our police department is working tirelessly to ensure that Hartsville is made safe.  But our officers are most effective when working with the citizens they protect and serve. Earlier this year I was approached by Emory Waters who has moved back to Hartsville after 40 years of working with the FBI.  He asked if he could volunteer his knowledge and experience to the city’s police force. A few months ago I received a call from a man with a wife and a newborn. He told me that drugs were being sold on his street and asked my advice about starting a community watch group.  It is up to all of us, not just law enforcement, to lower the crime rate.  We all need to work harder to take a proactive stance against crime. We are all members of this community; we need to look out for one another. A crime anywhere in Hartsville is a crime everywhere in Hartsville and just because you are not the victim does not make you any less responsible for doing the right thing. Many out of work often feel the pressure to turn towards a life of crime, and though it makes their actions no less condemnable we need to understand the correlation between increases in criminal behavior and increases in unemployment. In 2010 we saw the number of jobs in Darlington County shrink considerably and the competition for work in this area has become fierce. The destruction of the Agrium Plant, the loss of sixty jobs, was another blow. However, we should never lose hope. We should accept it as a challenge to find new ways to expand the job market for our citizens.  I believe with uncompromising faith that our local economy will get better because of its entrepreneurial spirit.  It starts with the small business owners. We are a city filled with passionate people, and by following that passion and capitalizing on their dreams, we create jobs right here in Hartsville.  Our small businesses provide the city a selling point to bigger business and change the perceptions of what one can expect from a small southern town. Large companies will continue to invest in Hartsville after seeing what we have to offer—dozens of community owned and operated businesses that prove we are capable of sustainability.

However, with the realities of the current economy, I see no reason to make apologies for pursuing private dollars or state and federal money for the benefit of our city. Last year we were able to secure funds for over $400,000 worth of water improvement in south-Hartsville. Just last week we were notified that the fire department has received a grant of $95,000 which will be used to purchase better equipment and improve their exemplary level of service. In February, Sonoco announced that, as a part of their PULSE initiative, they would invest $5 million in Hartsville area schools. Along with a cooperative effort between Coker College, the Governor’s School of Science and Mathematics and Yale University’s Comer Project, this could put our education system in competition with the best in the state and give our children a better future. This year we’ve made a commitment to more actively seek outside funding for our city. We will be meeting with department heads to see what they need to do their job more effectively and develop grant making strategies. We also want to better publicize the recipients of those grants, their general approach and the reasons for applying.  By doing this we hope to inspire others in Hartsville who have ideas for a program or initiative.  If you believe that you might be able to address some area in our community which is lacking, seek every opportunity to fund your vision.  Be more than a human being, be a human doing.  Bring about the change you want to see.

We’re strengthening our staff with people who embody that drive.  At the start of this year we hired a new City Manager, Natalie Zeigler, and she has already done an amazing job getting us refocused.  We will of course appoint a new Chief of Police and continue the work being done to clean up our streets.  We will be announcing a Special Projects Manager and create a Public Information Officer position to help better communicate our agenda to the people. The city is growing and we need the right kind of people to help facilitate that growth.

The state of the city is in progress. We are changing for the better, and though we have a lot of needs, we have an amazing amount of resources. We should never get discouraged. Margret Mead told us to, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” And that is true of us.  We are small but we are committed to building a better Hartsville.  Despite any and all of our differences we agree that Hartsville can be improved—we don’t give up on this city.  By moving forward, together, towards that collective vision of a better Hartsville we can exceed the limits of our own expectations.  I know that realizing that vision will at times be very difficult, but I believe our faith and our passion will be rewarded.

Thank you.

Mayor Presents State of the City address (By Philip Dunson, Published March 09, 2011)

HARTSVILLE–Mayor Mel Pennington addressed an audience of 329 people Monday on a wide range of topics, including achievements in education, crime, the economy and a potential city-wide recycling initiative in what was said to be Hartsville’s first ever State of the City address.

Throughout the 15-minute speech given inside the Watson Theatre of Coker College’s Elizabeth Boatwright Coker Performing Arts Center, the first-term mayor cited the community’s resiliency and compassion and urged its citizens to look toward the future.

“The state of the city is in progress,” said Pennington, dressed in Navy Blue suit and customary bow tie. “We are changing for the better, and though we have a lot of needs, we have an amazing amount of resources.  We should never get discouraged. …Despite any and all of our differences we agree that Hartsville can be improved—we don’t give up on this city.  By moving forward, together, towards that collective vision of a better Hartsville we can exceed the limits of our own expectations.”

Pennington, who was welcomed with a standing ovation after being introduced, referred to U.S. Constitution when explaining the reason for holding the address. He cited the president being required to give information to Congress in regards to the State of the Union and said this should also be true on a local level.

“I am an advocate of accountability and transparency of government,” said Pennington. “I was elected to lead and that gives me a responsibility to communicate the city’s agenda, to be open about its operations. I owe the community and I have an obligation to address concerns.”

The mayor went on to explain that the city has had a most eventful first few months of the year. In 2011 the city and its residents have already had to endure a highly publicized assault at a downtown business in which a person was assaulted and the store set on fire; the retirement of long-time Police Chief Tim Kemp; and a fire that severely damaged the Agrium Rainbow Operation fertilizer plant on Valentine’s Day.

“In the first few weeks of 2011 we have faced incredible challenges, but those challenges revealed our strength—our faith—in each other and in our community,” said Pennington. “We have seen tragedies and disasters, both natural and unnatural, and we have rallied to provide shelter, aid and compassion for our neighbors.  In the first few weeks of the New Year I have witnessed an outpouring of love, people banding together during trials, quite literally, by fire, and like gold it has only made our values stronger.”

Pennington then addressed several areas in detail in which he said the city is working towards improving, including beautification and technology.

He cited the City Council passing a nuisance ordinance that will prevent property owners from allowing their yards to grow wild with a gross amount of weeds, bushes and undergrowth.  He said the city has over 75 condemned houses slated for demolition starting in this summer and received $400,000 in grant money from the EPA for the revitalization of former industrial and commercial sites.

“Unkempt lots and abandoned buildings create fire hazards, provide venues for crime, and lessen the value of our homes,” said Pennington. “They are public eyesores and infringe on rights of others to have a safe and beautiful community.”

Pennington then said that he had met with Sonoco officials to discuss the creation of a city wide recycling initiative “to keep Hartsville beautiful for our children and our children’s children.”

“We also need to think of beautification in a broader sense, and do more to help the environment,” he said.

In the area of technology, Pennington said the city has explored the creation of a city-wide fiber opticnetwork.

“We have sought government grants to fund the implementation of an infrastructure that would allow the city to provide fast internet access, high-definition cable and a dependable phone service to our own citizens,”Pennington said.

He said city’s finance department has implemented online bill pay which provides a faster, easier, way to pay our utilities. Pennington then cited a $1.5 million grant the city recently received for digital water meters that can be checked wirelessly, increasing efficiency and saving the city money. He also mentioned the implementation of Nixle, an online public safety system that allows citizens to receive emergency notices from the city via email or text message.

The mayor recognized Darlington County Sheriff’s Department Chief Deputy Jerry Thompson, who is presently serving as the city’s interim police chief.

“Under his direction we have seen a greater police presence, including regular door-to-door patrols downtown, increased patrols around the city and checkpoints throughout,” Pennington said. “Our police department is working tirelessly to ensure that Hartsville is made safe.”

Pennington then said that he believes there may be a correlation between increases in criminal behavior and increases in unemployment.

“Many out of work often feel the pressure to turn towards a life of crime, and though it makes their actions no less condemnable we need to understand,” Pennington said.

On the subject of education, Pennington made reference to the recently announced PULSE initiative funded by $5 million from Sonoco. The initiative involves a cooperative effort between Coker College, the Governor’s School of Science and Mathematics and Yale University’s Comer Project.

“This could put our education system in competition with the best in the state and give our children a better future,” said Pennington.

Pennington said he sees many positive signs in regards to the city’s economy.

“I believe with uncompromising faith that our local economy will get better because of its entrepreneurial spirit,” he said. “We are a city filled with passionate people, and by following that passion and capitalizing on their dreams, we create jobs right here in Hartsville.  Our small businesses provide the city a selling point to bigger business and change the perceptions of what one can expect from a small southern town. Large companies will continue to invest in Hartsville after seeing what we have to offer—dozens of community owned and operated businesses that prove we are capable of sustainability.”

Pennington said the city will continue to pursue private dollars or state and federal money. He said that in 2010 the city was able to secure funds for more than $400,000 for water improvement in South Hartsville.  He said last week the city was notified that the fire department has received a grant tor $95,000 to purchase updated equipment.

“This year we’ve made a commitment to more actively seek outside funding for our city,” said Pennington. “We will be meeting with department heads to see what they need to do their job more effectively and develop grant making strategies.  We also want to better publicize the recipients of those grants, their general approach and the reasons for applying.  By doing this we hope to inspire others in Hartsville who have ideas for a program or initiative.”

Before closing the mayor recognized new City Manager Natalie Zeigler. He said that she “has already done an amazing job getting us refocused.”

He also said the city plans to announce the hiring of a special projects manager and create a public information officer position to help the city better communicate its agenda to the people.

Prior to giving the address, Pennington gave thanks to his wife and daughters for their support. He recognized city council members individually and thanked S.C. Sen. Gerald Malloy and S.C. Rep. Jay Lucas for their support of Hartsville. He thanked Coker College for the use of the theatre and said it was “proof of a strengthening relationship, a bridge between the city and the campus.”

The mayor also thanked Sonoco, HilexPoly and Progress Energy for “their continued support of our city.”

Pennington made it a point to thank Hartsville residents and asked for their support.

“Odds are that if you are here you believe in something greater and more consequential than yourself, that you have a vision for Hartsville,” Pennington said. “By attending tonight, by taking an active interest in the state of your city, you have made a commitment to help realize that vision. You recognize that only together can we move forward. With a sincere and unified effort we can forge an even better place to live, work, study and raise our children.”

EDITORIAL: Well done, Mr. Mayor (By Mary Kean SCNow.com)

In the short, yet most informative span of 15 minutes, Mayor Mel Pennington provided residents with a much-needed pep talk and offered them updates on the where the city stands on a number of issues.

Billed as Hartsville’s first-ever State of the City address, we hope that Monday’s speech in the Watson Theater will not be the last. In fact, we see it as a launching point for possibly holding bi-annual or quarterly events – either state of the city addresses or town hall meetings, in which the mayor can keep his constituents abreast of what the city and its leaders are doing.

Pennington’s address served precisely the purpose for which it was intended – to inform and motivate. The mayor and his staff put together a speech that touched on a wide array of topics, from crime and unemployment to education and the economy. It covered a large amount of ground in a short period of time, keeping the information concise and to the point.

Between his updates, Pennington interwove reminders of Hartville’s strong sense of community and its ability to sustain and withstand hardships.

“I have witnessed an outpouring of love, people banding together during trials, quite literally, by fire, and like gold it has only made our values stronger,” Pennington said after referring to the issues that have faced the city during the first few months of 2011.

The mayor convincingly pointed out that the city also has much reason to be proud. While crime and plant fires have drawn much attention to the community, so has the announcement of a $5 million initiative that will put the city at the forefront of our state’s education system. Our police chief may have retired after years of dedicated service, but we have a new city manager in Natalie Zeigler who appears to be the ideal person for the job.

There is no question that the beginning of 2011 has brought Hartsville more than its share of difficulties. We believe the mayor’s words will go a long way in assuring residents that municipal and state leaders are doing what they can to address and resolve any problems the city is facing.

We see nothing but positives coming from Monday’s speech. It provides yet another bridge of communication between the city’s leadership and its residents. Mayor Pennington and his staff deserve much credit for establishing what we hope will become a regular event – annual, biannual or quarterly – that will serve our city well.

I just received a call from Dr. Bradley’s office.  Two precious heart babies need his care at the moment more so than my Mary Clare.  After much deliberation they have decided to postpone her surgery.  New Fontan date is March 30.

I’m terribly disappointed as we were mentally ready for this to be behind us, however, my heart aches for these two new heart families and knowing the road they face.

Nitty Gritty Late Night Ramblings…

It’s here.  I’m in disbelief and somewhat on “auto-pilot” mode at this point.  I’ve often told others that last month’s wait was more difficult for me than the more recent weeks.  I’ve had my days of meltdowns, but for the most part, I’ve held it together by keeping very busy, planning and organizing.  This is the point at which you should laugh.

It’s no secret that Mel nor I are big planners.  He is naturally a whim kind-of guy and I’m just so “go with the flow” that neither of us get concerned over details.  It works.

In fact, Mel scheduled Hartsville’s first ever, “State of the City” address, to which we will all attend, for tonight at 6PM, after which, we’ll pack up and head to Charleston.  He scheduled the speech knowing that we would be at MUSC for pre-op the following day.  He is speaking to the city of Hartsville at the Watson Theatre of the Elizabeth Boatwright Coker Performing Arts Center.  Join us, if you will.

I’ve packed Mary Clare’s bags, and as I sit here tonight unable to sleep, I’m thinking of all I have to do tomorrow.  I’m going to work for a couple of hours.  I need to get the oil changed, and car cleaned.  I have to pack.  I’m not taking much.  Lounge pants, tennis shoes, casual wear.  It’s so ironic to me that soon I’ll be placing the life of my daughter literally in the hand of another, and I’m thinking of what sounds like a category in a beauty pageant. So petty. So minor.  It’s also something that I’ve had a difficult time with lately.  The insignificant.  I’ve noticed other’s disappointments in children’s report card grades, anger over the trash truck spilling over a few pieces of trash on “their street,”   or wrong orders at at restaurant, horns blowing because a pedestrian took too long.  And while I know that what I may deem unimportant at this moment in time, may very well be  significant to another, do all these truly matter in the grand scheme of things?

But I digress…

The details… We will leave for Charleston tonight after Mel’s State of the City address.  Mel will probably pack after the address while Mary Clare and I wait in the car for him. (I’m not being sarcastic about this in the least.  If you know Mel, you know I’m very serious.  Mel never prepares a speech but for this important address, he started and finished it just tonight.)  Mel called a friend last week to check on an apartment downtown that he has so graciously offered to us in the past.  If it is available (we’ll find out today), we will begin our journey there.  If the apartment is not available, we’ll most likely end up at the Courtyard  Charleston Marriot, which is our usual stay.

While in Pediatric Cardiology ICU, parents are officially not allowed to stay with children.  They kick you out  for an hour at 7AM and 7PM for shift change and/or emergencies/children returning from surgery, but all other hours are fair game.  I’m allowed to be with her, just not to “stay.”  If I don’t feel I have easy access to her while staying downtown due to parking concerns/garage/travel distance, we’ll check into the Ronald McDonald house.  It’s certainly not the Ritz, or the Marriot for that matter, but it’s walking distance from my precious Mary Clare.  I would pitch a tent on the street to be closer to her, if I could.  The RMH also gives me such a sense of belonging.  In the past, when we have stayed at a hotel during Mary Clare’s procedures, it’s difficult to see “civilians” with their cameras and tour guides complaining about the pillows in their room or traffic.  (I guess it goes back to the lack of compassion I have for those insignificant matters at moments like these.) I want to tell everyone I pass, “My little girl is in the hospital. I’m NOT here on vacation.”  At the RMH, everyone is a parent away from home.  Everyone has a child that is hurting.  They get it.

Once Mary Clare is out of Pediatric Cardiology ICU (I’m hoping no longer than the first week), she will be transferred to 8D, the pediatric cardiology step-down unit.  It was 7C when we were at MUSC in the past.  They’ve moved and it’s bigger!  We’ll be moving in with her there.  I’ll sleep with her in her hospital bed and Mel will get the couch/futon. 8D is in the Children’s Hospital and just down from the Children’s Atrium, a gloriously sunny, play atruim for all of the children at MUSC Children’s.  It’s tall walls and glass ceiling are filled with kites.  You can watch clouds pass overhead and just feel the sunshine.  It is amazing!  I’m envisioning Mary Clare spending many days in the atrium.

McCanless is much more aware of what’s going on now than in the past.  She was 3 1/2 and 4 when Mary Clare had her previous surgeries and now at age seven, she has a clearer understanding of what is about to happen.   McCanless has always been a child that has maturity and compassion well beyond her years, and I can only hope that she will truly understand and forgive me one day.  Mary Clare needs me and it rips my soul apart to have to leave McCanless behind yet again.

We have been told to prepare for a month-long stay, and our journey begins tomorrow at 9AM.  We will check-in at MUSC general admission to begin a day of pre-op testing.  Mel does a much better job of keeping everyone informed via twitter/facebook, but I’ll do my best.  (I usually vent by writing senseless, rambling posts with little info.  i.e., this post.)

Exactly what I needed…

It’s amazing how sometimes God gives you exactly what you need before you even knew you needed it.

This morning, as I began our Sunday morning rush (coffee, breakfast, dressing the girls, tidying up before heading to Sunday school at 9:30), Mel shouted out an invitation as he showered.  He usually works on Sundays, so the girls’ team typically flies solo.  I assumed today was like every other Sunday, so it surprised me.  He was speaking at Hartsville Community Fellowship this morning and wanted us to attend.  Speaking engagements for him are not unusual, but invitations for us are.  (He loves to have us, it just usually doesn’t fit into our schedule or he forgets to tell me.)

Mel has such a natural knack for public speaking and I often forget about this jewel of a talent.  He’s so charismatic, comfortable and at his best in front of a crowd. I guess with time, you seem to overlook those special qualities and talents in your spouse.  I do, however, still find him to be one of the most intriguing and uniquely talented people I know. We have always had an amazing relationship.  One that gets better with each passing year.  One of his “traits” that I have not grown accustomed to is his uber spontaneity.  I’m probably the most flexible person ever, but an invitation 5 minutes prior to an event  is a stretch, even for me.  I had no idea he was speaking this morning and no idea we would ultimately attend HCF together.

This is where God stepped in.  Typically, I would have told Mel he should have told me about this before this morning and rambled on about how I love my own church dearly and I certainly wanted to be apart of the last service I would be attending in several weeks, etc., etc., etc.   I would not have gone with Mel.  Feeling guilty, nonetheless, but not going.

Today, the girls and I went with my husband.

Not only did I find a renewed attraction to the handsome, confident leader that he is, I was blown away by his sincerity.  He is deeply committed to me and our family and because of that, he is committed to Hartsville.  He spoke on behalf of the city and her direction.  He made everyone laugh.  He promised his all.  He made everyone feel at home and safe.  Exactly why I married him.

At the end of an amazing service, the congregation prayed for Mary Clare and our family.  Mel was very emotional and for a brief moment, I was uncomfortable seeing him so vulnerable.  It dawned on me then that we need each other.  More now than ever before.

So many have asked us what we need, what we are most concerned about, what they can do for us.  Today, I realized that we have exactly what we need in each other.

“Prayer for Mary Clare”

On Ash Wednesday, March 9, as we hand over our Mary Clare to the surgeons at MUSC and God, Thomas Hart Academy PTO will host a “Prayer for Mary Clare” in the cafeteria at 7:30 AM.  Students, parents, teachers, family will gather in pink, pray and share pink donuts in her honor.  She would be tickled pink herself.

I am humbled beyond measure and forever grateful.

Brace Face!

I was in disbelief last month when our dentist told us it was time to visit an orthodontist.  I thought surely we’d have a few years, at least.  Much to my surprise, McCanless is ready! (As always, milestones so early for her.)   She has lost nine baby teeth and has a mouth full of permanent teeth, so we were told it’s time.   She will most likely have to have two sets, no matter when she has them, so at least we’ll start this whole process early.  Mel nor I had braces, so this is all new to us.  She was a champ when she had her spacers placed, and has only complained once since having them on.  Nothing a little dose of Tylenol didn’t cure!  She is such a strong girl.  I’m so very proud of her.

I can’t believe how much older she looks.  I’m going to miss that McCanless gap.

Happy Birthday, “Nonnie!”

In honor of my mother’s 60th birthday, I’ve decided to post a few photos of her and my aunt, “Sissy,” rockin’ out with the Wii…

McCanless, Sissy and Nonnie  (Kate’s reading with MC in the chair)

I don’t think they meant to dress alike.

THA Valentine’s Day Dance 2011

Heartfelt Couture

Go to Heartfelt Couture

How amazing is this ministry?  Want to know what else is amazing?  Keri Abshier, owner and creator of Heartfelt Couture, contacted me and wants to make a gown and prayer pillow for Mary Clare’s upcoming hospital stay!  It brought tears to my eyes to know that my sweet angel will have her very own hospital gown that she will actually want to wear!

Neurology 101

I just realized I never posted an update on our most recent MUSC venture…  We packed up and headed to our beloved Charleston once again last week for a visit with Mary Clare’s neurologist Dr. Turner.  We adore him.  MC adores him.  If we have to have a neurologist, he is certainly our man. Very Steve Carell-ish.  In fact, he has a photo of Steve Carell on his iphone and a little iphone trick in which Steve Carell seemingly calls him.

Nothing new. MC has seizures.  She will most likely have another.  Her little brain is just made that way.  The lesion on her right frontal lobe may be the culprit but it will never be certain.   Her seizures have nothing to do with her heart and vice versa.  Not only does she have HLHS, she has HLHS and seizures, which Dr. Turner says he, “never sees.”  Such a unique little girl we have!

We have decided to wait on giving her daily oral meds.  If/when she has another seizure, Dr. Turner strongly urged us to begin meds.  We just feel like she will have so much going on in a couple of weeks, we didn’t want to mix in another medication and potential side effects.  So far, so good.  No seizures.  I even allowed her to go to the beach for the night with my mom.  (I nearly had a panic attack at one point as they were traveling down and I lost contact-thanks to my mother’s uncanny ability at keeping her phone dead at most times.)

Mom took the girls to the beach.  They danced in the Atalaya Castle in Murrells Inlet and watched princess movies.  No seizures for her.  Only one panic attack for me.  Life is good.

Ebony and Ivory…

McCanless has now taken three group piano lessons at Coker College.  Last week, she complained that she wasn’t allowed to “just play.”  I explained that she has much to learn before she is able to take off on her own.  She seems to enjoy it for now, although she’s not chomping at the bit to practice.   (She has always loved music and has an amazing ability to learn lyrics extremely quickly.)  We’ll see how it goes.  I so hope she enjoys it and continues.

Her piano recital is in April.  Wish us luck!

CHD Awareness Week 2011

Trudging on…

It’s hard for me not to pretend everything is completely fine.  It’s what I do.  Put on a smile and everything falls into place.  Usually.  During the course of events last week, I (for the most part) kept it together.  Until I fell apart, that is.  On Monday, I decided to spend the day with Mary Clare.  I took her to school, explained her health in detail to her teachers and explained her emergency seizure meds.  It was a fun day in her little class.  When we left at noon, I felt okay with leaving her there in the mornings once again as I went back to work.

It didn’t take long for reality to set in.  On Wednesday, to be exact.  I woke up bright and early, jumped into the shower, woke-up McCanless for school and just before we were to walk out of the door ready to begin our day, it started.  I cried.  I sat on my kitchen floor and I cried and could barely breathe.  I called in to work to explain that I was going to be late and I explained to sweet McCanless that Mommy was just sad.  I hate this for her.  I hate that she is learning so many emotions at such a young age.  I don’t want to hide it from her, so I’m forced to explain how scared Mommy is, how seeing my babies hurt makes me cry.  She was so kind and showed maturity well beyond her precious seven years. I hope she can forgive me for having to leave her again for the sake of her baby sister.

I made it to work only to be greeted by many of my dearest friends, other moms who work at THA or just moms hanging out for coffee in the office.  The usual AM crew stopping in to gossip or chat.  We were all in tears before I threw in the towel and left for the day. (Well, for the hour-I left around 10.)

I then made a decision.  I decided after crying all morning, I was done.  I went home, threw on a pair of my favorite jeans and got myself together.  I picked up Mary Clare and realized McCanless had her orthodontist appointment at 12!  Life was continuing on with or without me.  It was a gloriously sunny 70 degree day that I was not about to let go to waste.

I guess everyone has to learn “new normals” in life.  No matter how we go about them, we face them.  We can kick and scream and fight it every step of the way or we can embrace it.  We can put on a smile and everything will fall into place, however that may be.  I may not like it, but life is going on with our without me.

I don’t turn my head for a second when Mary Clare is in the bath now.  I don’t allow her to sit on the edge of the stage at our favorite coffee shop, Midnight Rooster, anymore.  I watch exactly what she eats, I notice her body movements.  I call out to her every few minutes as she’s playing alone in the playroom.  I’m already thinking ahead about her favorite summer pastime, swimming at the pool.

But this week, I’m not watching Mary Clare’s chest for breaths as often.  My heart is not constantly pounding.  I’m not reliving her seizure every time my mind wanders. I’m not thinking too far ahead.

We went to the orthodontist appointment, we all had lunch together, we played in the yard.  McCanless had her very first piano lesson on Wednesday afternoon and Mary Clare and I completed her first school project together, her Terrific Kid poster.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was so very precious.  As is life.

Update on Miss Mary Clare

After listening to neurologists for three days at MUSC, I think Mel and I agree that neither one of us will ever be close to understanding neurology, neurologists or the human brain, especially Mary Clare’s. (Not sure if it has anything to do with genetics or not…wink.) She had an MRI and an EEG while we were at MUSC and her team of docs discussed her little brain and heart at length.  We don’t have many answers and know little more than when she was admitted on Wednesday.  She has all of her neurologists  and cardiologists stumped.  Apparently, she’s a fascinating little one, but we knew that already!

For the most part (from our understanding, anyway) cardiology can be black and white.  Extremely complex, but black and white. “This is what’s wrong.  These are your options.  This is what can go wrong.  This is why.”  Neurology is gray.  An utterly confusing, vast, gray field. “We may or may not know what’s wrong.  Meds may or may not aid.  This may or may not happen. We may or may not know why.”

Mel had a tough time with this.  I guess daddies just want to fix everything, or know how to, at least. I think he just couldn’t wrap his head around all of the unknowns.  When we first learned of Mary Clare’s HLHS, he studied the surgeries.  He knew the terminology.  He knew exactly what they were doing, what her chances were, the percentages and everything involved.  With the new issue of seizures, there is nothing to grasp, nothing to understand.

I still don’t completely understand how her little heart works, so this is just one more layer of my sweet MC that is a complete mystery to me.  I do know that she is happy and she is mine for now.  She loves life and I love that little life of hers!

A few other things I do know:

-Mary Clare has had three seizures/seizure activity in the past month.   We noticed that she had “ticks” during a fever when she had the flu after Christmas.  Her second “Grand Mal” seizure two weeks ago was after a fever from an ear infection and her third, another “Grand Mal” seizure happened at school with no symptoms.  We thought the first two seizures were simply Febrile seizures.  (Febrile seizures are seizures caused from a rapid increase in body temperature, i.e. fever, and are fairly common in children.  In fact, I had them as a child and outgrew them as most children do.)  We now know that they were not Febrile seizures, as we had hoped.

-The MRI ruled out the biggest threat of clotting.  Clotting can be an issue in kids “close to Fontan age.”  Which is also why the cardiology team wanted Mary Clare down there STAT, hence the chopper ride.  Her seizures have nothing to do with her special heart.  Now we know she has a special heart and a special brain.

-They can see from the MRI that she has a brain lesion, which is an area of injury/damage to her little brain.  This most likely happened during one of her heart surgeries, possibly from being on heart/lung bypass and/or ventilator.  We’ll never know how it got there, just that it’s there, specifically in the right frontal lobe.  It seems to be an “old” lesion. Again, this may or may not have anything to do with her seizures.

-The neurologist mentioned the word “Epilepsy” and told us not to freak out with the word.  He said it is the most misconstrued diagnosis.  He explained how every brain is so unique and there are so, so many types of seizures/epilepsy.  So we forgot that word.

-The neurologists introduced us to several types of anti-seizure meds and explained the benefits/risks/side effects/etc. in using each.  Apparently, it’s trial and error to find what works best for each person.  After much consideration and discussion with cardiology, neurology, cardiology, then neurology and cardiology once again, Mel and I feel that it is in Mary Clare’s best interest to wait on the daily meds.  Our cardiology team is completely behind us in this decision and the neurology staff agreed that it would not harm Mary Clare to hold off on the meds.  They urged us strongly to start meds if/when she has another seizure.  (We do have a prescription for emergencies -in the event of a prolonged seizure.)

-It is almost definite that she will have another seizure, we just have no clue when it will be.

-We will have a neurology appointment before her surgery in March.  Surgery date of March 9th has not changed.

Mel and I have complete faith in MUSC, her medical team, and most importantly God.  We both feel that once we get through her Fontan in March, and we’ve done all we can to get her little heart in a proper working order, we’ll revisit the anti-seizure medications and tackle that little brain of hers next!

This is a tiny corner of mural on the 7th floor of MUSC Children’s Hospital-Emerson and Mary Clare’s own little part of MUSC.  Before we leave after Mary Clare’s Fontan, we’ll gladly leave another set of hand prints!

Wireless cardiac telemotry, aka Mary Clare’s Jet Pack!  Now if they can only figure out how to stick the leads without sticky pads!  Ouch!

Rainbow hair from her EEG!

Way to Go, McCanless!

Guess what 1st grader received THA Terrific Kid award today? Miss Lillie McCanless Pennington, my very own terrific kid!! I’m such a proud mommy!

MUSC

We’re back at MUSC after Mary Clare had yet another seizure yesterday. It was a scary day which began with a couple of ambulance rides, a helicopter ride and ended last night at the MUSC Children’s Atrium bandaging dolls and playing her little half heart out as if it was just a regular day in Charleston!

Today, we have lots of tests and appointments to get to the bottom of her seizures. We are currently waiting to see our little sweetheart as she is awakened from her MRI. She’s such a big girl and has already stolen the hearts of everyone around her with her spunky little personality and witty charm. Such a ham, even under these circumstances!

Daddy did the packing, obviously!

My Creative Little One

Such the writer, if I do say so myself!  I’m so proud of her!

Then, it seemed like an eternity away.

The Fontan was a distant milestone that would be our last hurdle. She would be around age three. Such a big girl by then, it seemed at the time. I remember looking at my tiny newborn Mary Clare and hoping and praying and begging God to let her survive. If she could make it through this, now, she could make it through anything. And the Fontan would be a breeze.

Years, months, weeks away. As it grows near, I find myself forced to face reality. It’s here.

I hate Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. With every ounce of my being. I hate that my daughter is defined by her defect. I would be lying if I said that it hasn’t changed each of us. It is who she is. Like the scar on her precious chest that reminds me everyday that her body is not as perfect as I’d like, it will be with her forever. Funny thing about that is, I wouldn’t change her for the world.

This past weekend, Mary Clare had a seizure. It was a febrile seizure, brought on by fever. We were at the beach for the long holiday weekend when it happened. After a scary morning, ambulance ride and lots of questions, prayers, and tears, all is well. They are fairly common. Now, I know. But to say it was one of the most horrifying experiences I’ve ever had would be an understatement. I’ve seen her tiny 6 pound body ripped apart, plugged into dozens of machines, wires, and tubes. I’ve watched her lay silently with her eyes closed for days in a hospital bed. Nothing, however, could have prepared me for what I felt the morning of her seizure. The feeling of complete helplessness and fear overwhelms me to even remember. The look of nothing in her eyes, the horrendous sound escaping from her and the feeling of her uncontrollable body haunts me still. I wasn’t surrounded by her doctors and nurses. I had no one to there to take over to fix everything.

I will never forget how nothing else mattered.

I heard my mom tell me she was having a seizure. My first thought was to get her safe. I placed her on the couch to watch her. Then my own heart dropped as I thought of her tiny heart. I didn’t know how or if seizures affected her half heart.

When my mother took McCanless back to the house, I laid in the hospital bed alone with a groggy Mary Clare. Her IV tubes were draped across my chest and I cried. I sobbed. For the first time in months every fear and emotion hit me all at once. Reality slapped me in the face. Square on.

This week was rough for me. I couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling. I kept seeing Mary Clare and reliving the thoughts I had during her seizure. It’s amazing how your brain never stops. Today, however, I’ve kicked into planning mode for Mary Clare’s Fontan. Details of schedules for McCanless, bills, pets, household tasks are being ironed out. I’ve cried several nights this week, but no more. I’ve got to face it. If she has to do it, the very least I can do is help prepare.

God gave her such spunk and spirit for life. Her HLHS may be apart of who she is, but Mary Clare is who we love and adore. Scars and all. I know she may not realize what is about to happen to her and I can only hope and pray that she’ll forgive us and understand one day. She knows that once her heart is “fixed” we’ll go visit the princesses at Disney. I’ve never been one to wish away the time, but I dream of the summer. I ache for the summer. For her. Snow and Fontan behind us. Princesses and life ahead of us.


Mary Clare’s First Visit to the Dentist

Mary Clare has been to the dentist with me several times, but has never worked up the nerve to actually sit in the chair alone.   Until now…

Clean little pearlies!  No cavities!

Three Days of Snow!

We’ve NEVER had three consecutive snow days.  (We’ve never had three snow days in one year for that matter!)   The girls’ team has not left our house since Sunday and it’s been wonderful!  Yesterday, although the snow wasn’t falling, it was still very cold and gray.  Mary Clare and I stayed inside cooking and watching Disney movies all day.  She’s not much of a winter baby!  In fact, yesterday, she put on her bathing suit and asked to go to the pool because she didn’t like the snow.  (I guess she thought it would be warm by the pool.)  We did, however, manage to go out a couple of times to feed the geese and snap a few photos.

McCanless, on the other hand, stayed outside all day long with the neighborhood “big girls.”   They only came inside when they were hungry or when I forced them to come in for a break!

This morning, we awoke to the sun peeking through the trees…

…and the snow beginning to melt away!

The big girls were a little bummed, but didn’t let that keep them from another fun day in the melting snow!

We have school tomorrow with a two hour delay, so hopefully our early morning won’t hurt too badly.  We are most definitely back on our Christmas Break schedule of late nights, late naps and even later mornings.  We’ve had a fabulous snow break!

Snow Again!

On December 26th we actually had enough snow on the ground to make snowballs.  It melted quickly and the shining sun brought back our typical sunny, 50ish degree SC December weather.  This month, we have had yet another snow day!  This time we have enough snow on the ground to make a snowman!  Not that the girls’ team can endure the snow long enough to actually make a snowman, snowgirl or even snowbaby for that matter.  But that’s beside the point.  We could.

School was canceled for today and has even been canceled for tomorrow.  The Governor has declared SC in a state of emergency due to severe weather!  Mel is loving the action and is keeping quite busy!  You should join him on Facebook.  It’s quite exciting.  (wink, wink)

When Mary Clare peered out of the window this morning, she gasped and said, “You made it snow, Daddy!”  After a very late and very big breakfast, we ventured out to brave the cold!

…and she’s off!

Wow!  Nine inches, the news reported!


Our cozy little creek house.

My snow angel

Emmie ran and ran and ran!

and so did McCanless!

After a healthy lunch of warm, mushy chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate, we settled in and watched the Wizard of Oz.  It’s almost 5pm and the girls are napping still.  Looks like we’ll have another late night and lazy day tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to McCanless!

My sweet McCanless turned seven on Wednesday, January 5.  She shared cupcakes with her classmates…

and that evening the four of us celebrated at one of her favorites, Miyabi’s. (Japanese)  She received many phone calls from aunts and grandparents wishing her a happy 7th year!

On Thursday night, we also had a small family dinner at another favorite, Los Tres.  Where else?  (By small, I mean the usual:  Aunts, uncles, grandparents, the whole crazy crowd.)

Then on Saturday…


SURPRISE!

Where is McCanless?  As soon as she walked in and everyone jumped out  yelling, “Surprise,” she ran and hid.

Not for long, however!

This is Bobby D, the infamous piano player at Louchi’s.  We found out that he and McCanless share a January 5th birthday!  He was gracious enough to play special birthday songs just for her!

The party continued at home with Just Dance on the Wii!

Later that night as McCanless snuggled in the bed with me, she told me that her surprise party was awesome, the best party ever.

Happy 7th Birthday, Lillie McCanless!

Cheers to 2011!

Happy New Year!

White Christmas

We drove out to Nonnie’s house the day after Christmas to enjoy the snow with my family, still in town for the Christmas weekend.

Ready for the fight…

Mom pulled our old school snow gear out of the attic. Remember, it only snows once in a blue moon around here.  No fancy bibs and jackets for us.

Apparently, McCanless needs waterproof gear, too.

Kacy and William practicing their first dance.

After about 10 minutes, Mary Clare and Emmie had had enough. In fact, we all had had enough.  We went inside to hang our clothes by the fire to dry and watch the snow fall through the windows.

Christmas Eve 2010

Snow pops for Santa…

and everybody knows Santa loves pink.

Christmas Day 2010

Kacy got a Wii for Christmas too, and guess what she packed up and brought to Nonnie’s house?

Merry Christmas!

As I sit and type this morning, Mel and McCanless are snuggled in my bed and Mary Clare is probably still sleeping with my mother.  (She chose to spend the night with her Nonnie last night.)  After a couple of days filled with family, laughing and Wii, it’s nice to have some peace and quiet.  It is actually snowing outside and looks so beautiful.  There are still gifts on the floor and Rapunzel hair all over the house, but today is filled with calmness.  A stark difference from yesterday’s fun, crazy chaos.

What a beautiful life we have.

And as quickly as my moment of peace and quiet began, I hear McCanless’ feet hit the floor.  She just came running into the den to announce to me that there is snow outside!  She then asked me why her arm and belly were “hurting a little” here and there.  I explained how that kind of hurt is a good thing….soreness, courtesy of the new Wii.)  Merry Christmas!

Here comes Santa Claus…

Efly has been watching!

The annual Lights Before Christmas Tour of Hartsville in the limo…

Clare’s eyes are on me!

…and this is just funny.

The girls and I started our treats for Santa yesterday but didn’t quite finish. We’ll get around to that today!  We’re going with something a little less traditional.

A little shimmy with your bake.

So, Clare and I got carried away with the photos…

until she swiped my camera lens with a big dollop of chocolate cake batter.  McCanless got us back on track and on task.  We’ll post photos of our snow balls for Santa when we finish them today!

We’re almost ready!!

Sprinkles Galore!

A little confession that worked like a charm… You can probably see the clear “glaze” under the roof of this house…

Sissy sent us an awesome preassembled gingerbread house.  (On a side note:  I, like my girls, love to create and get crafty, so I wanted my turn at the house, too.) So, I bought a set of gingerbread village houses and hot glued them together before we began. (i.e. clear “glaze”)  The girls each had a few mini houses to work on as I was able to start the big gingerbread house!  When we were finished, we had a huge Santa’s house and five little elf houses!  Too bad we can only eat the big house!  (wink)  Thanks, Sissy!  What an awesome gift!

Whew!

My mother called yesterday to let me in on a bit of information she found this week. After hearing her news, I’m not too terribly concerned with MC’s slow weight gain.  Apparently, she may take after me.  Mom found a “Stats Record” from my first grade year of school.  In the first grade and age six, at Thomas Hart Academy, I only weighed 45 lbs.  Hearing the news, left me feeling relieved because I know for sure one day, she will catch up to the rest of us!  (I certainly did.  wink wink)

You better watch out…

You better not cry

You better not pout

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town.

1st Grade Christmas Party

Today, I helped McCanless’ class with an ornament swap.  I found a cute story about “Lefty, the Elf” and took it to her class to read aloud.  I had the class sit in a circle.  Each student brought a wrapped ornament and as I read the story (which was written exactly for a swap such as this), the students passed their ornament to the left when I read the word, “left” and right when I read the word, “right.”   It was hilarious.  It took them a few minutes to figure out the whole process, but once they got it, I read faster and faster and they passed faster and faster. Unfortunately, I didn’t snap any photos of the swap.  I was too involved and had to pull out my teacher hat for this one.  So fun!

After the swap, I gave them “naked” cupcakes, as McCanless said, tubs of icing, sprinkles and candy galore.  A few of the results…

McCanless’ cupcake (the tallest)

By the way, that teeny, tiny, itty, bitty tooth to the left of McCanless’ two front teeth (the one hanging on for dear life) fell out tonight, finally!  The permanent tooth is already coming in right behind it!  This will be #9 permanent for her!

Dear Santa,

Obviously, we mailed the letters that the girls wrote (with no help from mom), so the following letter is Mommy’s version…

We hope this letter finds you well.  We have tried to be very good girls this year.  Mommy says it can be hard for us sometimes, but we’ll get there.  I, McCanless, have 8 permanent teeth and two additional loose ones!  I’m in the first grade and doing so well.  I love school (usually) but I still have a hard time waking up in the mornings.  I love art and I love to create. I’m still loving dance and have taken after school art lessons this year.  I’m asking for a rock tumbler, art supplies and a new bike.  I’m a very good big sister.  I’m patient and loving with Mary Clare and she thinks I’m very cool.  She is adjusting to 3K and is quite the class clown.  She looks forward to her dance class, Broadway Babies, each week and loves to twirl.  She loves music and dolls and dressing up.  She hasn’t asked for anything specific, other than a “music ball- like in Minnie’s” (snow globe) and new green pappies.  So surprises will be great for her.

We have been so healthy and happy in 2010 and are looking forward to another great year!  McCanless’ seventh birthday is in January; Mary Clare will have her final reconstructive heart surgery in March and will turn four in June!  A big year is in store for us!

Love,

The Pennington Girls

Haul out the Holly

Mary Clare was in charge of the beads this year.  (Since she always rearranges them anyway.)

Hartsville Christmas Tree Lighting 2010

I had grandiose plans of a magical tree lighting this year where I would snap photos of my babies, possibly with daddy, in front of Hartsville’s great Christmas tree.  Not only were we late arriving, almost missing Daddy’s opening words, we failed to get one single photo of both girls facing the same direction, let alone smiling.

Winter Wonderland 2010

THA had a beautiful winter musical this year with ice skaters, snow bears, dancing snowflakes, ballerinas, snowball fights and nine little reindeer.  McCanless was a Christmas caroler and Mary Clare was Vixen in the reindeer lineup.

Can you spot short little Vixen?

We “Elfed” ourselves!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

You know the seasons have changed or a holiday is near when McCanless gets busy with the pantry door…

A little reminder for Daddy…

Last year, we sent out New Year’s cards, and it looks like that may be an annual occurrence.  (This is a little nudge to my sweet hubby that we must have a family picture made for our cards.  Soon. Very soon, Mel.)  Unless, of course, you want to send out your card from last year…

(This was the card Mel created after I “nudged” him last year.)

Thanksgiving 2010

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” on the iPad


It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Our schedules are always busy and if you know me, you know I love to be at home.  (I don’t really make the best Mayor’s wife because of this, by the way.)  If I can get out of an event or party, I  sometimes do.    I love people and I love to socialize, but over the past couple of years, I find such comfort in being in my home with my babies.  I hate to leave them.  (Secretly, however, I love the busyness and excitement of this time of year.)  That being said, we do have lots of events that we all attend together, which is great!  Today is a prime example.  After the Hartsville Christmas Tree lighting last night, today we have…

10:30  Hartsville Christmas Parade  (Daddy is in charge, as he has been for several years.  McCanless has chosen to ride on the THA float.  Mary Clare and I will walk with Daddy as the Mayor’s family.)

10:00-1:00 Downtown Market Place (We’ll stop by at some point.)

12:30 Mel’s family reunion at his grandmother’s house

1:00 McCanless to Coker College for Cheer camp

2:00 Mel is performing a wedding ceremony  (Several people have been crazy enough to ask him to do this over the past couple of years.)

4:00-6:00 Mel has a visitation at the Funeral Home

4:00  SEC Championship Game USC vs Auburn Let’s not even talk about that.  I still love my Gamecocks!

5:30 McCanless will perform at half-time of the Coker College Girls Basketball game.

7:00  Mel and I have a wedding to attend here in Hartsville.  (Girls will stay with Mimi and Bapa, until I pick them up bright and early for church.)

After meeting about the children’s Christmas Eve service at church tomorrow, I think we’ll crash!

I was just reminded, once again, how very precious life is.  A friend of mine, a fellow blogger, and adult CHDer passed away today.  I have linked to his blog, Adventures of a Funky Heart, on numerous occasions and over the past couple of years have really gotten to know Steve through emails.  He became a fan of Mary Clare’s and was a great source of comfort, support and knowledge for me.  Just four days ago, he passionately blogged a challenge to eradicate CHD by November 29, 2024, the 80th anniversary of the Blalock-Taussig Shunt.  He was an amazing writer and an amazing person.

Steve was born with Tricuspid Artresia, which is similar to HLHS.   He had the BT shunt when he was very young, and an early version of the Fontan, which left him with a single ventricle anatomy like Mary Clare.  Although he had a pacemaker and survived numerous health difficulties over his life he was considered an “oldie” complex CHD survivor at age 44.   His wit, his passion for CHD awareness and research and his courage will be terribly missed, especially by heart moms and dads who looked to him daily for inspiration and hope.

Life is precious.

Happy Thanksgiving 2010

McCanless is working on place cards, as she does every year,  and I’m finishing up a few dishes in the kitchen.  Mary Clare has changed princess clothes about 100 times (depending on who she sees in the Macy’s Parade)  and Mel is already dozing on the couch.  Soon after the Macy’s parade, we’ll head out to the Redfearn Tree Farm cabin to celebrate Thanksgiving!  It is such a wonderful day.  We all have so much to be thankful for!

Especially this little turkey!

2010 THA Grandparent’s Day

Can you find our little turkey?

Guess I should say ham!

Bapa, McCanless and Nonnie and Mary Clare

Bapa gave a wonderful welcome to all of the grands and told stories of his own grandmother, Lolla.

If you notice in the top two photos, there is a large turkey on the stage curtain with “Feathers of Thanksgiving.”  These were feathers created by the 3K-5K students after being asked what they were thankful for.  Displayed on each creative little feather is the students’ response.  Mary Clare’s just happens to be front and center, the very first feather on top of the turkey’s head.

We’ll have to work on that.

Dizzy in the Streets

Last Thursday evening, McCanless and her dance team walked throughout downtown entertaining shoppers. (It was the first Downtown After Hours Christmas Shopping Event.)   They circled the block and stopped in front of a few shops to dance.  They had so much fun walking downtown hand-in-hand and showing off their “All I want for Christmas…” dance!

Meanwhile, Mary Clare played reporter and captured lots of photos.  (Such a big help.)  I took this of her while McCanless and her dance crew were stretching at the studio before we hit the streets.

“All I want for Christmas…

is my two front teeth!”

The Juice Girls and Alston

(Alston came into town to help Meg, the owner of the cutest children’s shop, for the evening.  Kate works at Juice some, too….small town!)

Yay, McCanless!  We love watching you dance!

Afterwards, we did a little window shopping ourselves!

Black Creek Arts Center Ornament Workshop

We have already kicked-off the Christmas Season!  Last week, we went to the Black Creek Arts Center for an ornament making workshop.

Mary Clare had fun creating her ornament for about 6 minutes, then decided it was much more fun to play in the sequins.

McCanless, on the other hand, meticulously placed tiny sequins on her ornament until it was just the way she wanted it.  The finished ornament had little rows of many different shades of green.  Mary Clare’s was a half covered ball of randomly placed sequins of every shape and color.

After the workshop, the girls had fun outside pretending to be statues.

Day 29 for Emerson

Just look at that smile!

Seven years, two babies and a whole lot of everything in between…

So here I am, 1,000 posts down and lots to show for it.  Back in January of 2004, when Mel began babypennington.com, I would have never imagined I would still have it going.  Yet, seven years later, here it is.  I once had grandiose  plans for my 1000th post.  Today, however, I barely realized it was my 1000th post.   As life would have it, today I’d rather show off photos of my dancer than anything else. So hurray for my 1000th post:  adorable photos of my oldest daughter in all of her glory.  Exactly how it all began!   She has certainly changed since 1,000 posts ago!

Eliza and McCanless at JUMP! Dance Convention in Greenville, SC this past weekend.

“Wash That Man” before…

and after…

I just love my silly dancer!

Quick update: Day 24 for Emerson

Halloween 2010

Emerson is still at MUSC with her mom and dad waiting.  They have been there for 24 days.  She had a drain tube pulled this week, she has air pockets in her lungs and her numbers are such that they will keep her there a bit longer.  Please pray that drainage will stop and they can pack up and head home!  Head over to her carepage:  EmersonBanksMay to wish her well and check on her!  I know, as a parent, it makes such a difference to know other people are praying and care for you.  Sometimes, after weeks in the hospital, you know the world must continue on, but it feels as though you are completely forgotten.  The days are endless.  It truly makes a difference to keep connected to others.

We love you, Emerson!

Thanksgiving

Today, I found a list of items on a fellow heart mom’s blog.  She called MUSC and asked for specific items that children need while in PCICU and 7-C, the pediatric cardiology units.   I told her I’d love to re-post the list and together we could gather many of the much needed items.  I think it is a great idea as we approach the Thanksgiving season.  We both have healthy babies who have defied the odds.  We have so much to be thankful for and so many reasons to give back.

You may think that, surely, parents supply most of the items for their babies, and in some ways you’re right.  As we entered Emerson’s hospital room on our most recent visit to MUSC, it looked much like our own Mary Clare’s past hospital rooms full of balloons, flowers, dolls, blankets, cards, toys, books, love.  Her mom and dad were there with her around the clock every day, and are still there with her, today.  However, in many cases, the babies found in these units are without parents.  For whatever reason (the financial stress, emotional stress on the parents, etc.), these precious heart babies face the most difficult days of their lives alone.  It surprised my mom to see empty rooms on 7C.   She was shocked to find doll sized babies lying alone.

Below is the list of items.  I will be making a trip to MUSC early in December and plan to take items that I gather.  If you feel inclined to donate, just let me know!  I’d be happy to fill up my car and take a load!

  • swings (typically small, travel-sized)
  • vibrating bouncy seats
  • sippy cups for toddlers
  • mobiles (cannot have any cloth on them because that would be an infection issue; all parts must be plastic)
  • blankets for toddlers
  • books for infants and toddlers

The South Carolina Sate Fair 2010

Yes, these are the big swings.  Mommy was about to have a nervous breakdown, but my little daredevil has no fear!

Kate and Charles met us there, so they were able to help with some of the more adventurous rides that Mommy chooses not to ride!

View of Williams Brice Stadium from the Ferris Wheel!  Go Gamecocks!

The girls’ favorite animal that day.

Mary Clare seemed to be loving the dragon “baby roller coaster” at first…

but by the time it came ’round the bend, baby sister was not happy!

Don’t worry Mom, in between the junk food, we ate our veggies!  (Fried pickles, fried broccoli, fried mushrooms, fried zucchini, fried cauliflower…)

Not quite tall enough for the big girl bumper cars.

Mary Clare loved her blue “sucker”, until she realized it had an apple inside of it.

I found a manila envelope in the mail this afternoon with an MUSC sticker in the return address.  I knew what it was, but I just couldn’t bring myself to open it.  Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away.

Of course it didn’t, so I opened it tonight after dinner.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Pennington:

This letter is to inform you that arrangements have been made for your child’s heart surgery at the Medical University of South Carolina by Dr. Scott Bradley…

The surgery has been scheduled for Mary Clare on 03/09/11…

I received the phone call last week so it’s no surprise.  Last week, the call was a shock.  Tonight, not so much as a quiet reminder.  I’ve thought about it every day since receiving the phone call.

I wonder if I’ll think of it every day until surgery?

Mel and I both were so thankful to know of her special heart before she was born, but this time is different.  I know Mary Clare.  I didn’t know her then.  I didn’t know that she would have little, blonde braids, a huge, sweet-tooth and say, “Torrible” instead of terrible or horrible.  I didn’t know that her favorite food, second only to chocolate, would be “flat cheese” folded twice into a perfect square stack. I had no idea that she would love her green paci, even at 3 1/2, and drink juice all throughout the night and emulate her big sister.  Or that she could walk into a room and consume everyone’s attention by doing nothing, and that her favorite outfit would be a pink dance leotard and “Fuzzy Uggs.”  I’m sure I didn’t realize that she would completely frustrate me one moment and melt me the next with her little blue hands hugging me and giving me her “kitty cat head rub” against my cheek.

I hadn’t explained her half-heart a thousands times, or tried to explain how it actually works.  I hadn’t defended her physical weaknesses.  I hadn’t bragged about her her beautiful, blue lips and scars.  I hadn’t held her countless nights as she slept, hoping and praying that she lived until the next day.  I had yet to experience what it truly meant to be her mother.

I’m not sure what to expect this time.  I know it will be different.  Until then, I’ll try not to count down the days.  I’ll keep on fussing about her little spunky attitude and sassy mouth (and secretly loving it).  I’ll keep hugging and kissing my blueberry everyday.  We’ll have lots of fun and busy weeks until March and it may cross my mind often, this third surgery of hers.

I may not be ready now or even in March, for that matter,  but one thing that I know is certain, I will thank God everyday for every moment we spend with Mary Clare.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

–Reinhold Niebuhr/William Spence

BOO

A Happy Little Pirate!

How’s this for a neighborhood Candy Crew?

This “Pink Princess on a Flying Pink Pony” was in candy heaven!

Happy Halloween!

McCanless’ 1st Grade Field Trip to McLeod Farms

Only a week after Mary Clare’s trip to McLeod Farms, McCanless’ class also visited the pumpkin patch and corn maze at McLeod.  It was certainly much cooler (and McCanless and I are definitely fair weather girls), so we bundled up, picked more pumpkins for our front porch and made the best of the chilly and rainy weather.

McCanless was not a fan of the corn maze.  She continually questioned the logic of getting lost in a field of dead corn and cried because she was wet and cold.

Boo at the Zoo

Nonnie treated us all to a night at Riverbanks’ Boo at the Zoo!  We gathered a few costumes, treat bags and the Fort crew and headed to Columbia.

This was the first round of costumes, so McCanless decided to go with rocker/punk wear and Mary Clare was a princess for the evening.

Is it just me, or does Mary Clare look a lot like my future brother-in-law in this photo?

What a beautiful night with great friends and family!  We had so much fun, Lori and I took Edward and Mary Clare back the next day (to actually see the animals).

Mary Clare’s absolute favorite exhibit was the penguin pool.  She stood mesmerized.

Pre-Halloween

Pumpkin carving, Boo at the Zoo, carnival going, spooky Kalmia Garden trails and Halloween parties are all apart of our Pre-Halloween Fun!   (Which is why we gather several costumes each year.)  Both of my girls never seem to be able to make a final decision on costumes each year, and frankly, they tire of wearing the same costumes to our events.  So, to make it easier on all of us, we gather lots of accessories and have lots of choices in costumes!  Sometimes all it takes is a trip to our very own dress-up trunk!  This year, Mary Clare decided on her pink pony costume about 20 minutes before we walked out of the door to go trick-or-treating.  She had been Snow White all day but made a last minute costume change.  Typical.  McCanless surprised me and wore her Pirate costume most of this Halloween season.

We pimped out our Jack-O-Lantern this year, thanks to Kacy and William.  They sent the girls a princess/ bling carving kit.  Mary Clare had nothing to do with the pumpkin once she had a good look at the insides.  She screamed once her hand touched the “slime.”

This was the night of the THA Halloween carnival.  Mary Clare decided to be Katy Perry, aka Cupcake Fairy.

40th Day of School Pep Rally

Do you know how great it is to have a grandfather as a headmaster?

…especially if you are a Pennington girl.

Go Hornets!  We love THA!

McLeod Farms 3K Field Trip 2010-Mary Clare’s Class

It was a beautiful sunny day at McLeod Farms with butterflies everywhere!

I think the moms were more into the story than the kids!

Ms. Kate with her 3K class!  3K all the way!

3K with their pumpkin.  They took a big green pumpkin back to THA to see how many days it would take to turn orange!  (It took 11.)

Life as usual…

It seems I often begin posts with the typical, “It’s that busy time of year again…”  Then I realize, it’s always that time of year.  We always keep busy, no matter what the season!

Prestwood Marshmallow roasts…

Fun outdoor birthday parties with family…

Lots of Halloween costume trial runs… (even as pajamas)

A couple of trips to the SC State Fair…

Caramel apple making at Nonnie’s house…

Yum

and carnivals with a few of our favorite THA teachers Doodle Bops.

I Love You

Only a week after her Fontan, Mary Clare’s best heart friend sends her love!  This is Emerson sending an “I Love You” to Mary Clare through a text message.  Her mom, Erica, and I have been friends since these two were in the womb when we first learned of their special hearts.  Walking down this difficult path has been made so much more bearable knowing we have each other.  Sweet Emerson had her surgery at MUSC last week, spent the week in Pediatric Cardiology Intensive Care Unit (PCICU) and is now in the step-down cardiology pediatric recovery unit, 7-C.  She is on a no-fat diet and is playing the waiting game.  For the Fontan surgery, drainage can be a huge issue, and, typically, it’s what keeps these heart kiddos in the hospital for such a long time.  She has done well so far, but I know it’s such an emotional roller coaster.  Please keep sweet Emerson and her family in your prayers.

Mother to mother, we have shared the journey, cardiologists, hospitals and stories of our two little sassy girls.  We’ve been at every birthday party and have kept in touch for four years now.   Most importantly, we share a strong faith in God.  The same God that brought us together and the same God who blessed us with Emerson and Mary Clare.

Check on Emerson at CarePages.com:  EmersonBanksMay

Happy Fall

Happy to report…

..that Mary Clare has had a great few days at school.  No notes home from specialty area teachers and all smiley faces and stickers from Aunt Ms. Kate!  In fact, Ms. Kate texted this photo of my Rock Star to let me know how great she was doing!  G is for Great, baby girl!  I’m so proud.  (The embellishments from the dress up trunk are an everyday occurance, according to Ms. Kate.)  I do love my youngest daughter’s flair!

Speaking of flair…Just had to add this photo I snapped after our surprise Fire Drill last week.  Check out the pink sequined little duck in the front of the 3K line.  And although I have little say-so when it comes to what the girls wear every morning for school, I don’t recall her wearing this to school.  (Dress-up trunk again, I assume.)

I was able to snap this photo as I hid behind their cubby wall.

Different day, same wig.

Fall Sick Day

A stomach bug ran through our house a couple of weeks ago and had the girls’ team out for a couple of days.  We were in it together, however.

After a day of soup and pedicures in front of the fire (McCanless’ feet and the fire for ambiance only), a bit of Halloween decorating, and painting, we were back on track!

TV comes to town!

Hartsville was featured on a local news station and the Mayor had to make an appearance!  McCanless was thrilled to be in the very front of the crowd, sharing the spotlight with Eliza.


Mary Clare wasn’t impressed with the cameras or the crowd.  She and Baby Edward, her pal and Eliza’s baby brother, were content just playing and singing on the “stage” in the park out of the camera’s eyesight.

A Sweet Clinic Visit!

Today, we headed back down to MUSC for a cardiology clinic visit for Mary Clare.   It was a relatively short visit, especially considering we were about 45 minutes late!   (Mel has a habit of being preoccupied with his phone calls as he drives and often takes slight detours.  Of course, I didn’t notice until we were about 20 minutes off course, either.)  We were seen immediately after our late arrival.  (I guess being the sole patients left to see and at lunchtime helped.)  We were able to visit with lots of our MUSC friends and really catch up, something we usually don’t have much time for when they have lots of other patients to see.  It was nice to have the time to really talk and catch up.

This was taken with my iPhone just before she assaulted the Lab Tech.  (wink)  Mary Clare is always so great with ECG’s, echos and her general clinic visits, but when she saw the phlebotomist, she knew exactly what was coming.  She began to cry and even told the tech to, “Go Away” as she hit pushed her.  A few determined shouts later, she stopped crying even before the needle was out.  What a champ.

After the usual check-up, and discussions with Dr. Forbus, MC’s cardiologist, we determined our best bet is to wait until Miss Priss gains weight.  Her numbers from her recent cath are excellent, her O2 sats were 85 today, and after blood work, it was determined her heart squeeze couldn’t be better!  Physically, her body is as good as it gets.  However, she only weighs 13.3 KG/28 lbs.  Ideally, Dr. Bradley, her cardiothoracic surgeon, would like her to be 15 KGs.  Dr. Forbus told us that he really wants her to gain the extra weight and Dr. Bradley generally doesn’t prefer to do the Fontan during prime flu/sick season, unless absolutely necessary.  So, we are probably are looking at surgery in the Spring.  Her blood work also ruled out a few other concerns we’ve had, and that was a relief.  (Dr. Forbus wanted to check for Juvenile Diabetes and deficiencies in her blood.)  All is great!  To celebrate, we headed to one of our favorite stops in Charleston, Market Street Sweets!  (Ironically)

It was a balmy 95 degrees and beautifully sunny downtown Charleston; but my girls are natural Fall lovers and are so ready for “Boot Season.”  (They are their own fasionistas in any season, however.)  Either way, they certainly love their boots!  What a great day!

Didn’t I say I had to take a moment every now and then? Prime example.

Here is a note I received from Mary Clare’s music teacher last week…

“Mary Clare sometimes has temper tantrums in music class.  She gets upset that she can’t be first all the time.  Yesterday, she wanted to be a pig in one of our activities; however, she was not chosen.  I told her that next time she would be chosen.  She put her hand on her hips, shook her head and said, ‘No, I won’t.’  I told her to have a seat.  She said, ‘No, I’m not.’   This is when I sent her back to her classroom.”

Hmmm.  Well, after thinking and thinking about how to approach this situation, I thought it would be best to pull out my teacher hat.   With my mom hat on, I wanted to march into Ms. Music’s classroom and defend my sweet, innocent baby girl.   I quickly came to my senses once I realized I didn’t want to be that mom. The one I’ve dealt with so many times before as a teacher.  I decided to change my tune.  I certainly had to “take a moment.”

Later, I had a little chat with her about having respect for her teachers.  In all honesty, however,  I’m so glad she has spunk.  As anyone else, she is not perfect, will never be and probably has a long road ahead of her, with her little spunk and all.   At age three , she has so much to learn and so many life experiences ahead of her.    Her little note home isn’t terribly surprising.   I certainly see so much of her little “spunk” at home.   Deep down, I know she has just enough of that little spark in her to take her far.  For that I am so grateful.

This is probably the first of many “notes home” for my little spunky spirit.   I’m choosing to see it as a little life lesson for her  and another small reminder of all that is wonderful in my life.  She is here with me.   She is thriving in school.   She is able and does a fine job of getting into mischief at school.  She is living her life.  For that I will thank God.

Just a moment

I often tell myself to “take a moment.”  I stop in my tracks and think about what I’m saying or doing and just reflect.  Is this truly going to matter tomorrow?  I’ve never been one to sweat the small stuff.   I try not to overreact.  (In fact, I usually under react, which is trait I inherited from my mother.)   You all know I’ve followed many heart babies and families and have used the heart community as a great source of  support and strength.  Too often I read of babies who just couldn’t keep up the fight.  This week, I’ve been saddend by two of these babies,  Ewan and Joshua.

CHD is ugly and horrible and I just don’t understand why it can’t be figured out.  Quite frankly, it makes me furious sometimes and when that happens, I stop and take a moment.  I have Mary Clare with me here and now.  Why should I be so concerned with something that I really have no control over?  I do, however, have control over how I face life.  The short precious lives of these two amazing babies will hopefully make everyone, myself included, stop and take a moment to be thankful for the here and now.

Life is so precious.

Pleasantville

We’ve been busy with fall and last weekend was a perfect example.  I’ve lost my camera memory card, which is why I’ve failed to post many updates recently.  My phone, however,  has saved the day (and a few memories) until I can get a new card.  Last weekend brought a packed schedule and chillier weather, so we were happy to get out and enjoy it all.  We began our weekend with dinner with pals and a late night Sonic playground trip, headed to the Marketplace on Saturday morning, followed by lunch at the Rooster and shopping downtown.  Saturday night we helped Daddy welcome all guests and Coker College alumni to the Jazz Carolina street festival and Sunday closed our weekend with church and a birthday party at none other than Chuck E. Cheese!  Whew!  Our weekends are just as busy as our weekdays, but we love it all.

The “First Saturday” Marketplace is always so much fun!

Edward, Mary Clare, and Reese

The Marketplace also celebrated it’s second birthday, so Mel said a few words and we all (the city) enjoyed birthday cake!  Lots and lots of birthday cake.

The Three Amigos getting into something…

At some point, Mary Clare found a headband and lost her boots.

Later that night, we headed back downtown for Jazz Carolina.  Streets were blocked off and tables set up for everyone to enjoy downtown “after hours” and live jazz music.

And we certainly did just that.  Lots of friends, lots of fun.

…a little too much fun sometimes!

.

Mystery Solved…

Just figured out who Mary Clare looks like….

Me.  (Circa 1979)

Surfers, fishermen and us!

Just the way I love the beach! Mel is off this weekend so the girls team (plus daddy) headed east! Last night we caught a movie and dinner with a few of our favorite pals for a crazy fun birthday celebration. There were 9 girls, 2 boys, two dads, four moms and two aunts celebrating a fabulous new nine-year old! Then we watched/read iBooks all the way to the beach. We slept in this morning, bought a dozen donuts and are now soaking up sun on a lonely beach! So far, so good!

I know one day not too far away, McCanless will happen upon this video and absolutely kill me, but I have to post it!  It’s too funny not to post it.  She and her friends were playing with Daddy’s Iphone at the birthday dinner last night and this is what Mel discovered today.  (The video opens with a friend of hers…)

A promise is a promise!

After a full day of school, homework, a bit of swinging in the yard, assisting our painter with his assessment and quote (by pointing out every single hole, chipped plaster, etc. on our walls-thanks girls), dinner and playing with the iPad, the girls hit the bed and I got busy with my nighttime chores. Mel is busy with Mel work (Fire Dept. tonight, I think) and I’ve finally decided on brand new colors for my walls!  Good thing- painter starts tomorrow!  But a promise is a promise!   An update…

McCanless has finally realized that first grade is not an option and she MUST go. She has made perfect on every single spelling and math assessment thus far. (We don’t call them “tests” this year.) Last night, as I checked behind her homework (she does it completely on her own, I just check to be sure she does, in fact, do it) I noticed that she managed to use all 10 of her spelling words in ONE sentence. And it actually worked! The homework said she could use more than one in each sentence, so she certainly did just that. Today, her teacher told her she loved her creativity. I think it was more productivity-to be able to be done with it!  She is in the thick of dance and loving every minute of it.  She cheers on her hornets about once a week and looks darling in her cheerleader uniform.  (I can’t help but be terribly proud of her.)

Mary Clare is amazing me with all that she is learning! Kate is certainly a fantastic and wonderfully creative teacher. Just this week, Mary Clare was pointing out letters in her ABC’s and meatballs dinner. (Told you I was busy.) She loves THA and is loving being the tiniest hornet! After a rough couple of weeks, we decided that half days were in her best interest. I certainly don’t mind. I’m able to take my snuggle bunny home every day at noon for a nice long nap and alone time before the afternoon rush with McCanless.  We have a cardiology appointment on October 5th at MUSC and will definitely make a few decisions regarding her next step, the Fontan surgery.  I’m anxious, but ready, as we are beginning to see the effects of added stress on her heart due to her body’s growth.  She tires very easily, is often out of breath and constantly wants to be held.  She has also started drinking so much water throughout the day and night.  I’m not sure if this is due to the still 90+ degree weather or what, but it’s a new change with her.  I’m curious and ready to see how her little body is really doing.  We’ll do blood work, an ECG, and echo this go ’round.  Otherwise, she is as happy as a cute little clam!

Despite the hot and humid weather, we are so excited about fall and Halloween! In true McCanless fashion, she has changed her mind a dozen times about what to wear, who to be.  Decisions, decisions. Have I mentioned before that everything is complicated in this household?  Mary Clare, however, decided on her Halloween costume rather quickly.  Mom gave her a glittery cupcake dress-up costume a couple of weeks ago as a little surprise, complete with a cupcake wand and headband.   As soon as MC saw it, she shrieked, “YAY, I can be Kerry Perry for Halloween.” At the moment, I laughed, unsure if I should be concerned that my little girl knew who Katy Perry was.  Then I realized it was probably worse that she wanted to be her.  I think it’s the obsession with candy.  When you ask her what she wants to be for Halloween, she’ll say, “California Girl.”  I think we’ll just go with a purple hair cupcake fairy.

And as promised…photos! I’ve posted and taken photos tonight from my iPhone in the dark and in my bed beside the girls in my bed.  This is as good as it gets for now.

Seriously, this is how much they move when they sleep.  Not sure when Mary Clare shed her top, either.

We are heading to the beach this weekend to enjoy the ocean while we still can!  Maybe, I’ll have some time to get better photos of the girls!

Still here! Just so very busy! Photos and update tonight!!

Guess who weighs 29 pounds?

Think the Nutella has anything to do with that?

Please note:  When Mel first read this post, he asked, “Will anyone know what Nutella is?  Let me explain…  When I was a student at USC, I was in an Advertising Campaigns class with a tall, strikingly beautiful Brazilian.  Week after week, we had to sell a product of our choice through our campaigns, and week after week, we sat captivated as we  listened to Stella speak of the rich goodness of her beloved Nutella, a hazelnut spread with milk and cocoa.  It rolled off of her tongue so easily and sounded so delightfully sinful, as only she could make it sound.  I’m not sure if it was my longing to become like my friend with her amazing accent, or her fantastic ad campaign.  Either way, since then,  I’ve been hooked.  And guess who else is hooked?  I’ve even taught Mary Clare to say, “NOO-tella” in her best Brazilian accent.

The Woodham Crew

My baby brother, Alston, baby sister, Kate, Mary Clare, me, Mel, my mom, “Nonnie,” my dad, “Bubba,” my younger sister, Kacy, McCanless, and Kacy’s fiance, William.

We had a family reunion this afternoon for my mother’s family.  Lucky for us, it was at Lawton Park here in Hartsville,  so we didn’t have far to go.  We had about 50 gathered from as far as Florida all the way to North Carolina.   It was a beautiful, sunny day with so many laughs and memories.  We younger cousins had a fun time meeting everyone!

Despite my mother having four children and her mother having four children, and her mother having five, we have a pretty small extended family. (With big personalities, which makes up for the small number of offspring!)  As soon as I finish uploading all of my photos, I’ll post them so everyone can see exactly where my children get their blonde hair!  I always get asked where on Earth Mary Clare gets that white head of hair!  Lots and lots of blondes on this side!

Gaineys, go to www.babypenningtonphotos.shutterfly.com to view and order photos!

Go Hornets!

Future Class Clown?

Mornings for the Pennington Girls…

are going smoother as the days roll along.  Sometimes.

I’ll admit both of my girls need lots of TLC and quiet time in the wee hours…

…and I have to be very delicate with my not-so-morning girls while Daddy sleeps in.  (I’d rather NOT have three not-so-morning people awake at once.)

And although I’m certainly a morning person, which makes for (ahem) “interesting” mornings, I’ve had to accept that my girls and hubby are not.

And I love my not-so-morning family.

We’re so excited!

Tonight was the first game of the Gamecock season!

…and we won!  Go Cocks!

WE ARE STILL ALIVE…

It has just been quite an adjustment (to say the least) getting back into the swing of things this Fall.  Homework, alarms, lunch bags, snack bags, dance clothes, school clothes, cheerleading and school days are slowly becoming routine.  Slowly.  Surely.  Did I say I was ready for this?  I’ve changed my mind.

My sweet baby

First Day of School 2010

McCanless and Mary Clare jumped up and out of bed this morning.  Well not really jumped, but it was unusually pleasant.  I’ll take it!   Neither would eat the cinnamon rolls I baked, nor would they say much, but I knew they were eager to begin the school year.  They both wore the clothes they had chosen the night before and we actually walked out of the house by 7:40 without a hitch!  Mary Clare fell asleep on the way to school, but walked right in when we arrived.

Ready or not, here we come!  New pink book bags, new pink lunch packs and one pink lady bug nap mat for Mary Clare.

…and she had to wear pink!

My big girl and new first grader who lost a tooth today at school!  Around 9:00 AM, McCanless came running into the office with a big grin showing off her latest gap!  This will be #7 for Pixie Lily, her tooth fairy!  She was so very proud!

No tears for her first day of 3K.  (It probably helps that her teacher also happens to be her aunt.) Good luck with my pinkalicious blueberry, Ms. Kate!  One day down.  Only 179 more mornings to go!

Insert song, “I Say a Little Prayer for You.”

I always have a song in my head.  (A funny little quirk about all  four of us is how we’re always singing.   The girls are always singing a tune no matter where they are.  Mel and I both begin the same song after we see something or chat about something that strikes us-we’ll both belt out the same song simultaneously.  I guess 10 years of marriage will do that.)  Anyway, I woke up this morning with this song in my head as I dragged my fanny out of the warm comfort of my bed with Mary Clare tucked nicely in my neck.  I’m on day two back to school and I’ve hit a wall.  Only day two.

I have neglected washing clothes, running errands, my blog, balancing checkbooks, probably paying bills and I often find myself stopping EVERYTHING to try and remember what day it is and if I’m supposed to be somewhere like dance, church or a birthday party.  I guess that’s why I woke up with said song. I have been busy at school accomplishing great things there and have even re-created the THA website.  (Okay, so Mel did that, but I am in charge of it.  WebMaster, they call me, which is hilarious.  I have no idea about anything regarding web programming or code and I’m certainly not a master of anything.)   It is coming along nicely, but if you’ll notice I am a little bias.  (All of the photos are of the girls.)  I have made a disclaimer at the bottom of opening page that explains we are a work in progress.

Back to the song.  Getting me up and out of the door by 7:45 is one thing.  Getting me and McCanless up and out of the door 7:45 was another.  Getting me and McCanless and Mary Clare out of the door by 7:45 alive will be comical.  So please, pretty please say a little prayer for us.  Thursday is the big day.

Whatever helps, right?

I gain 10 quiet minutes for my grocery run and she gains a bit of weight as an added bonus!

Maybe.

Reality Check

My friend, Steve, at The Funky Heart makes a guest appearance on Broken Hearts of the Big Bend, a CHD blog.  It is a sobering and insightful article.   I never thought the day would come, but it is so easy as a mom, to get comfortable and forget about my child’s special heart.  I’m so thankful that others have walked this walk and can keep me and Mary Clare in check and remind me that I am a heart mom, not simply a mom.  I must be mindful for her health and be thankful for every single minute that God allows me to spend with her.

“My “secret” to living so long with a congenital heart defect could very well surprise you. To live with a heart defect, you have to first make peace with the fact that your defective heart will one day give out.” Steve Catoe, The Funky Heart

Game Time…

1,2,3…Dance, 2, 3…Here we go!

McCanless is in ballet this year, and I couldn’t be more thrilled!

I love ballet, and love that she is interested!  She is in the Petite Company again this year which means ballet and competition jazz.

Mary Clare is in Broadway Babies, perfect for her!

Any Advice?

So, it’s 9 AM, Mary Clare just cried out my name (from my bed) and yelled for me to come get her.  She needs her snuggle time to wake up.  McCanless is still asleep and I have yet to shower.  McCanless has successfully slept in her own bed for four straight nights in a row, but bed time is not something she looks forward to and has become quite a fantastic procrastinator.  Drinks of water, under bed checks, hugs from Mommy, last kisses from Daddy and bathroom visits have been keeping her awake well past bedtime.  I haven’t even begun breakfast and I have no idea what is on the docket for today other than helping McCanless finish her “Big Scoop” book report and Mary Clare’s first day of Broadway Babies, her new dance class.  Next Thursday will be a rude awakening from our usually unscheduled summer days together!  I’ve somewhat tried to jump start our days early and get a bedtime routine going, but it just isn’t working.  Looks like we’ll be hitting school Cold Turkey!  Wish us luck!

The Funky Heart Explains…

a bit about the Fontan.  No wonder  I have trouble explaining what it is exactly.  Even the Funky Heart, who had the Fontan, has trouble!!  I feel better!

SPLASH!

How to tell Summer is coming to a close:

McCanless and I will start on the first of many (I’m sure) first grade projects today.  She has read her summer reading, thanks to my sister, Kacy.  Who just so happens to be a first grade teacher.  (Not McCanless’ first grade teacher, unfortunately.)  Today we will attempt to conquer her “Summer Poster” and maybe get started on her “Big Scoop” ice cream book report.   I’ve ordered all of the photo prints from Walgreens and we’ll venture out to Walmart to gather necessary craft items.  I usually try not to take the girls to Walmart unless absolutely necessary, however, this is her project and although I’m such a project girl, myself, I do “let it go” when it comes to her work.  McCanless is the kid who shows up to school with the obviously completely homemade, completely kid-done homework, projects, and take-home work.  100%, I promise.  Oh, how I’d love to jump in there and do it myself sometimes.  Not because I want hers to be perfect, but because I just love projects!

We have also started bed time boot camp.  Baby steps, anyway.  We have made McCanless sleep in her bed for two entire nights in a row so far!   And there have been no tears, screams or fits, amazingly!  I do have to allow her to listen to music while she sleeps.  (Whatever works, right?)  Funny, mom allowed us to listen to music at night and I learned every book of the Bible this way.  I guess listening to the same song over and over and over  will do that.  I still know them all in order to this day, as long as I sing that same song!  I just may have to find that CD!  Mary Clare is still in our bed.  Every. Single. Night. The little stinker will NOT stay in her bed.  This week, we’ll work on placement in own beds.  Next week, we’ll tackle actually getting into those beds before 10 P.M.  Baby steps.

We still have not heard from MUSC regarding Mary Clare’s surgery.  Emerson has a surgery date for September and hearing that news was completely sobering.  I’m not ready for that, but I know it is inevitable.  We’ll travel to Emerson’s 3rd birthday party in Georgia this month and we are really looking forward to that! Erica, Emerson’s mother, and I have not missed a birthday party yet!

We still have a couple of weeks before the first day of school, but school supplies have already been delivered to classrooms, I’ve gotten our Gamecock gear ready, Halloween costumes have been decided upon (and I’m sure will change a dozen times), and first day of school outfits are ready!  Bring it on!

“Look, Mom, a hermit crab!”

We had an impromptu science lesson this morning.

Because this is not a hermit crab.

I guess my beach baby just got confused.  Another funny story behind the new pet snail, Margaret, happened when I told McCanless that Mary Clare found a snail.  She ran straight to the bathroom to check it out.  Nope, not in the bathroom, McCanless.  Outside.  In nature.  Where most critters live.

Camp Invention 2010

I snapped these photos this morning of McCanless and her pal, Eliza with my iPhone.  Today was crazy hair day at Camp Invention.  We had braids all in McCanless’ hair and spray painted them hot pink.  Mary Clare didn’t attend Camp Invention, but found it necessary to also spray paint her ponytails hot pink.  It may be next week before the pink comes out of her cotton top.

McCanless is really having a great time this week. I can’t wait to see her showcase on Friday.  Last night she was telling me all about her latest invention.  She wanted to spray paint her tiny clam shells pink (the shells we found recently) and hot glue them to a wooden board, also decorated.  The individual shells would be a place for each of her earrings.  I thought it was a pretty good idea for a 6-year-old.  Maybe not as “techie” as her Governor’s School counselors would hope for, but pretty ingenious, I think!

Inventors can be cute too, see!

The Rainbow

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish…

Reese, Edward, Kaitie, Mary Clare and Gracie

Mary Clare, Reese, Edward, and Rainn

She passed!  She is still not quite self-sufficient in the pool, but she’s close!  Maybe next year!  Way to go, baby girl!  Mommy had such a great time watching you and all of your little guppy pals learn to swim!

And who doesn’t go to the pool in heels?

We are still enjoying the last days of July at the pool, with pom poms and heels most days, of course.  McCanless is at Camp Invention at the SC Governor’s School for Science and Math this week, so Mary Clare and I have had some time alone and time to get ready for school, which is right around the corner!  We’re trying to fit in as much summer as possible right now!

I can’t wait!

I can’t wait to get my hands on this book!  I have been following Paul Cardall, award-winning pianist and CHD survivor, since well before his heart transplant and it has been amazing to follow his miraculous life and heart journey.  He was born in 1973 with tricuspid atresia and transposition of the great arteries.  The surgical plan to manage his CHD ultimately led him to the Fontan surgery, which is what Mary Clare will soon face.  He wasn’t born with HLHS, but ended up with a heart similar to Mary Clare’s.  His heart worked very hard post-Fontan most of his life, but eventually grew tired and sick.  In August of 2008, as a young husband and father, he was listed for a heart transplant and spent many months waiting for a heart .  On June 10, 2010, less than a year after his transplant, Paul hiked Mount Olympus!   I can’t wait to learn more about him!  What an amazing life!

Summer Update…

I can hardly believe that July is coming to a close.  We have had such a busy and fun summer, and we still have so much to pack in!  After an early morning painting session today with Mary Clare, I packed her bags and sent her off with Nonnie.  They are driving to Hilton Head this morning to meet McCanless and Mimi down there for the weekend.  Mimi took McCanless down there on Wednesday.  Two girls with two grandmothers all weekend long.  I’m nervous about how long it will take me to sort them all out when they return.    McCanless called me last night on the way to Harbor Town to see Greg Russell play, only after a day long shopping excursion, lunch with friends and ice cream for dinner with Mimi.  She is in heaven!  (They did eat real dinner after ice cream, of course.)  They have beach and pool trips planned and a visit to the Children’s Theater to see Peter Pan.  I know they will have a ball.   I’m so proud that my girls are independent and can handle being away from Mommy and Daddy sometimes.  They both loved to travel and go with family and friends!  (Lucky us!)

The girls are so ready for school.  They both will be at Thomas Hart Academy this year.  It amazes me.  I have been teaching at Thomas Hart since Mel and I were married and always knew I wanted my children to be there with me.  It is hard for me to believe we are at that point in life.  Wow.  Time truly flies.  I was offered to teach again this year, but I think I’ll stick to the office until Mary Clare’s surgery is complete.  Last year, I opted to work in the office a few hours in the morning because I thought her surgery would happen during the school year.  I feel that it will be so much easier to leave the office rather than three classes of students.  We’ll see.   I just know that I love being with the girls at school.  First grade and 3K.  Wow.  It still amazes me.

I have yet to hear from MUSC regarding Mary Clare’s surgery.  Emerson, her best heart friend will have her Fontan in September.  Please keep her in your prayers.  Our families have certainly been on this journey together almost from Day 1.  I specifically remember the very first time I spoke to Erica, Emerson’s mom.   I was sitting in my car in a Target parking lot.  A mutual friend connected us and gave her my cell phone number.  We were both pregnant with our heart babies and we talked and talked and cried for over an hour.  We have been keeping up and keeping in touch for over 3 years now!  Emerson is a couple of months younger than Mary Clare and they have both done amazingly well!  We were both hoping that their surgeries would be around the same time so we could be at MUSC together.  We wanted not only play partners for the girls, but emotional support for each other.  It looks like Mary Clare’s surgery will be postponed a bit, however.  They just want her to be closer to 30 lbs.  Do you know how hard it is to gain three pounds when you are only 27 lbs?  If only it were that difficult for me.

Mel is keeping very busy, as usual.  He has completed his firefighter training and is now an official Darlington County Volunteer Firefighter.  He is working on his letterpress business, still has his hand in Pennington & Bailes and being Mayor is always interesting.  He’s also doing a bit of design work here and there.  He’s a pretty great dad and husband, too.  McCanless is growing up before my eyes and continues to love to draw and paint.  (Little sister is following suit.)  McCanless, however, has to have her down time/alone time.   She is so passionate about everything she does.  She reminds me so much of Mel, and yet so much of myself.  A friend once told Mel he was like a human light switch.  One moment he was wide open, literally with words, movement,etc.  Then the next moment, he was completely OFF, zoned out, quiet, contemplating, still.  This is so McCanless.  Other parents, teachers, adults comment on how mature and well-behaved she is.  She wouldn’t dare disappoint and seems almost shy around others.  (Almost.)  She is so interesting.

Mary Clare is my little girly-girl firecracker.  Like McCanless at age three, she knows exactly what she wants and does things her way.  She is so independent and thinks she is McCanless’ age.  She loves to sing and dance and dress-up still.  She reminds me so much of McCanless, but with a bit more gusto.  (If that is even possible.)  My sister said she reminds her of a recent Sour Patch Kids commercial.  (Sour Patch Kids is a type of sweet and sour candy.)  The commercial shows a Sour Patch Kid trip a little boy on a bike, making the boy crash badly, then turns around a helps him up and hugs him.  Sour then sweet.  That is certainly Miss Clare.  She will play for hours with her Barbies and her dolls.  Unlike McCanless, she loves alone play and never takes the time to watch television.  She has such a vivid imagination and I often hear her twirling and talking and singing aloud in her playroom alone.  She loves all things pink and sparkly and princess and right now her plan is to be a pink, sparkly cheerleader for Halloween.  It’s never too early to start planning, you know.

Mimi’s 60th Birthday!

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Aunt Liz planned a Haarlow family weekend for Mimi’s 60th birthday at her “new” husband’s family lake house, Lizard’s Thicket Fish Camp on Lake Murray.  (Lizard’s Thicket is their yummy family business.)

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McCanless and Molly got into Mimi’s make-up!

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Mary Clare loved using the pink Barbie fishing pole…

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until she saw the fish she caught.

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Haarlow Cousins

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We recently spent a long weekend at the lake with our Haarlow family for Mimi’s 60th birthday!  We had so much fun and I have so many wonderful photos to post, but I just couldn’t wait to share this one!

Andrew 7, McCanless 6, Molly 5, Sophia 4, Mary Clare 3, Will 1

2010 Swimming Lessons at Prestwood Pool for Mary Clare

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Reese, MC, Grace, Rainn, and Heyward all wait for their turn with Ms. Gretta.

Mary Clare in Swimming Lessons 2010 II

Mary Clare loves swim class!

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Hold your breath, Mary Clare!

Mary Clare in Swimming Lessons 2010 IV

McCanless began swimming lessons last week only to drop out after the very first class.  Apparently, she knows everything there is to know about swimming, so she decided not to attend this year.  (She was a bit bored in her class, so I didn’t fight it.) She would much rather be Mary Clare’s swim class teaching assistant.

July 4th 2010 Week with the Woodhams

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Annual golf cart parade…

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Kacy and McCanless took ’em down with the water guns!

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Mary Clare wasn’t a fan of the fireworks on the beach, so Nonnie, Kate and I took her to the Yum Yum Shop for one of her favorites, ice cream!

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I was so proud of McCanless.  At the water park, she went on every single slide that “we big kids” went on.  I was too busy sliding and riding with everyone to take many photos, but she held her own and loved every minute of it!

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Just like old times.

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Beach bums

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As much as McCanless loves Skee Ball, she has a hard time keeping the ball in her own lane!

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Spa night!

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After a fun couple of weeks of beach, sand, slides, rides and laughs, we packed it all up and headed home.  It was yet another year of fun memories!



Before the Morning

Here is a video from a blog of  a heart friend that I have been following for a while now.  She posted a video of a song that I have heard before, possibly for the first time on another heart blog.  I love the song and had no idea that is was about a child with HLHS until reading her post just this morning!

Here is the story behind the song…

Here is the song in it’s entirety…

It’s Summer… REVISED

Family July 4, 2010

and we have been busy!  The girls’ team just returned home from nearly two weeks at the beach.  (Daddy came when he could.) We are sun kissed with sand still stuck to our bottoms!  We had a wonderful fourth of July celebration with the Woodhams (my crazy family), went to water parks, amusement parks, ate fudge for breakfast (only once), and are so far off from any sort of normal schedule!  It’s wonderful!  (If Mary Clare didn’t gain wait this month, I give up!)  We even went wedding dress shopping with Kacy and she found the most perfect dress!  McCanless was in awe each and every time Kacy came out of her dressing room with such wonderful “real” princess dresses!  Mary Clare was just as content standing on her own “stage” in front of the wall sized mirrors adoring herself and twirling about.

Today, while Mary Clare and McCanless visited friends, I completed the daunting task of unloading/unpacking/washing/cleaning/restocking the house, etc.  (I have no idea what Mel does when we are away.)  I’ll get around to potsting lots of fun photos soon!  This week we have swimming lessons at the pool and Thursday we are off to the Williams’ Lake House for Mimi’s 60th birthday bash with the Haarlow gang!  Yay, we love summer!

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I forgot to mention that my sister, Kacy, is very recently engaged.  (Hence, the aforementioned wedding dress shopping excursion.)  I was lucky enough to be in the know and was able to help out just a bit.  And it all happened in my front yard!  The girls were able to watch William propose!  They were glued to the window!  While I do stick to writing only about the girls’ shenanigans on my blog, I must say it was a family event.   Congratulations, Kacy and soon-to-be brother-in-law, William!

I will warn you, however, when you enter into this family, as Mel will tell you.  You not only marry my sister, Kacy…

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You get Kate…

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and Nonnie…

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and the entire girls’ team…

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with a blueberry on top!

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Bubba, Mel and Alston are an added bonus! Welcome to the family, William.

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Cheers!

Happy 4th of July!

We are enjoying another year of Fourth of July fun with our family at the beach, which means lots of sun, laughter and food! Hope yours is just as wonderful!

Watch ABC tonight…

ABC has a new Thursday night spot, “Boston Med,” a television documentary series with “cutting edge medical cases encountered in America’s top hospitals.” It is an eight-part series, which premiered last week, and is on at 10 PM EST. Tonight’s documentary features a family that gives birth to a HLHS baby!  It may be interesting to see how our experiences compare.  Thanks to Chase’s mom for the info!

Pinkalicious turns three!

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Three-year-old Pinkalicious with her Pinkalicious doll.

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Mimi’s mega water shooters were a hit with the big boys!  (Especially with Daddy and all of the Pinkalicious uncles!)

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It was Hot, Hot, Hot.

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Only pink juice would do!

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Two Pinkalicious Grandmothers, Mimi and Nonnie!

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Surprise!  We gave newly engaged, Kacy and William, a mini-wedding cake!  We had Pinkalicious cake and Wedding cake!  It doesn’t get any better than that!

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Emerson, Mary Clare’s best heart friend, and her Mommy!

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Pinkalicious Princess Pails filled with pink bubbles, pink flamingo suckers, pink candy, pink swimmies, a Pinkalicious Pool Party CD (made by Daddy) and goldfish crackers, Pinkalicious’ favorite treat!

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Happy 3rd Birthday, my sweet Mary Clare.  I hope everything was as pinkalicious perfect as you hoped it would be!

“The table went boomp!”

Mary Clare caught in action.  All I heard from the kitchen was, “Sorry Mom…”

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Interesting reading from Funky Heart about a prenatal diagnosis of HLHS.

Happy Father’s Day!

We love our fun Daddy!

(Who sometimes pushes us to our limits, but always makes us laugh!)

Dear Girls,

Mommy is heading back to the beach for the weekend and Mimi has saved the day!  The only way I could ever get out of NOT taking you girls to the beach with me is if Mimi takes my place here in Hartsville!  Daddy and I have a wedding this weekend and I’ll be sure to tell you all about the princess bride, Julia.  I know you’ll want to hear all about it!

You two and Mimi are already on your way to the pool right now.  I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures in the yard and at the pool and see what you girls get into!  It’s always a party when Mimi is around!  (Bapa,too.)  Have fun and I miss you already!

Love, Mom

P.S. World… Thank you all for your sweet words of encouragement and constant support!  Remind me to keep busy and stop “thinking” so much! (See post below.) I’m so happy to have my girls and I’m thrilled that Mary Clare leads such a fulfilling life. Every. Single. Day.  How awesome is that simple fact?  I know that everything is totally out of my hands and I try to keep myself very busy so I won’t worry, but it certainly helps to vent every now and then!  (My blog is a diary of sorts, but it’s easy to forget sometimes that it is open for the world to see!)  Thanks for everything.

We have had quite a fun time on our impromptu vacation!  (And, of course, I’ve forgotten my camera!)  We’ve been relaxing by the beach and pool every day and eating out at fun new places for the girls.  We head home tomorrow, so we are packing in as much as possible.  Daddy usually isn’t able to come to the beach with us during the summer, so the girls have thoroughly enjoyed playing and spending time with him here.  Last night we went to Broadway at the Beach, which the girls have been countless of time before, but this is the first year they both were really able to enjoy it!  We stopped by the mini-amusement park first and let the girls ride until their hearts’ content.  It was so nice to have both girls together on the rides. Mary Clare is finally tall enough to ride on most!  She was such a big girl and loved having her big sister with her.  We also strolled through the shops and bought candy and t-shirts.  We definitely played tourists on this trip.  We watched the Fudge Shoppe Man sing and ate samples of yummy fudge. We strolled into the Magic Store, found a pearl in an oyster, played with kites.  The girls ended the night at the splash pad, jumping in and out of the ground water squirts.  We drove them back to the Grande Dunes around 10 pm, soaking wet!   All three are now sleeping-in this morning, as I’m enjoying coffee alone on the terrace listening to the waves.   Thinking.

Last night as I watched Mary Care zoom by me in her mini airplane laughing so hard tears were streaming, I couldn’t help but think of what is ahead of us.  The mother in me prayed a silent prayer and pleaded to God that this will somehow make it up to her.  Maybe if she has the most fun summer, she’ll not hate me for what I know must be done to her.  I’ve noticed Mel has also been thinking this way.  He has promised to paint her toenails everyday while in the hospital this fall.  He told her she could pick out 40 different colors, or however many days we are there, so they can be a different color everyday.  He also promised her a trip to Disney World to see all of her beloved Princesses afterward.

How can I do this again?  How can she do this again?  Yet again.  How am I going to be able to hand her over this time, not just for a heart cath, a simple procedure by comparison, but a surgery which rips her tiny body apart?  How am I going to be able to watch her on a vent again?  Lines, leads, monitors.  All over again.  Having her torn away from me at birth and sit by and watch all that she went through, then again to have the same thing happen merely 6 months later was horrific.  She has to do it all over again, but this time she will ask.  Why is this happening?  Why can’t we go home?  Why do I hurt?  Why can’t you put a bandaid on it?  These are the questions that haunt my dreams.

We’ll continue to go to the beach.  We’ll have a marvelous summer.  We’ll go back-to-school supply shopping for 3K.  We’ll face the inevitable.  And I will pray. I will pray that she forgives me.  I will pray for her strength, her survival, her understanding.  She will be going through more than I will have ever gone through in my entire life, or ever will go through, so I’ll will be there with her every moment.  Praying.  I will carry her through this as God carries me.

McCanless and Mary Clare’s First Trip to The Melting Pot!

…and they loved it!

I’d have to say their favorite was the chocolate fondue dessert!

Last Minute Vacation

We decided to head to the Grande Dunes Resort in North Myrtle Beach with Mel today. He told me just last week that he was being inducted as Secretary of the SCFDA (South Carolina Funeral Directors Association), so when I realized it was at the Grande Dunes, I packed our bags! Right now the girls and I are out by the beach enjoying virgin daquiries and a “big girl” Bumpin’ Bananas! Poor daddy is stuck in a meeting, but will join us shortly! We are loving summer!!

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One Mega Pinkalicious Cupcake!

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Saddle Ridge Ranch VBS 2010

McCanless and Mary Clare attended Vacation Bible School at First Baptist this year.  I have such fond memories of VBS at First Baptist, too, and I’m thrilled that they were able to attend.  The annual photo was taken in the exact same spot that it has always been taken, on the steps of the old chapel.  (I’d love to find one of my old ones and compare.  Mel is probably in them, too!)  We have such strong ties to First Baptist Church.  I was dedicated as an infant, baptized, grew up and was married in this church.  We have now been members at St. Bartholomew’s for our entire married life and have fallen in love with our church and our church family, but will always have a special place in our hearts for First Baptist.  The girls had a great time, as I knew they would!

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Saddle Ridge Ranch was the them and we dressed the part, of course!

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Mary Clare was not thrilled to be on stage, so big sister came to the rescue.

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Trying to get a photo of three Pennington cousins is almost impossible.  This was as good as I got!

VBS 2010 6

Mary Clare and Reese, aka the twins.  (All week long the helpers assumed that MC and Reese were twins.  They clung to each other and played/fought/loved each other like siblings.

1, 2, 3, Jump…

I don’t think it’s the 95 degree heat that’s so bad.  It’s the 100% humidity that makes it feel like “sticky, jungle, can’t breathe, heat index of 115, wish all you had to do was sit in a pool” weather that gets to us.  So, guess what we do?  We sit in the pool. All. Day. Long.

Pool 2010-2

Jump 2010-1

Jump 2010-2

Jump 2010-3

Jump 2010-4

Jump 2010-5

Jump 2010-6

You would never know it by Mary Clare’s excessive flotation devices, but she is really coming along with her swimming.  She isn’t afraid of the water in the least, and will often take off her arm swimmies and practice with me.  She will jump off of the side and (with a bit of underwater pushing from Mommy) will swim to the shallow end steps a few feet away!  She certainly isn’t swimming alone by any stretch, but I think she is making great progress and just might have it by the end of the summer!  McCanless learned to swim alone in the summer of 2007 when she was 3 1/2, when Mary Clare was born and we were at MUSC.  McCanless was staying in Florida with Sissy and Uncle Kurt.  They have a pool and Uncle Kurt worked with McCanless until she had it.  I was so proud of her.  Now, she is quite the swimmer.  Even today, while at the pool, someone asked me if she was on a swim team!  (Not yet.)  So, Uncle Kurt, are you ready for swim camp with Mary Clare?

What Cath?

On Friday, to celebrate Mary Clare’s fantastic cath results, we did what we do best in the summer!  We hit the road and headed to the beach!

After Cath Beach 1

We were told to not to submerge Mary Clare’s catheterization insertion sites for three days.

After Cath Beach 2

That didn’t mean no splashing,

After Cath Beach 4

or exploring,

AFter Cath Beach 5

or running, right?

After Cath Beach 3

Thanks be to God.

Mary Clare’s Heart Catheterization

Heart Cath 2010-1

Mary Clare was admitted at 7AM and was 2nd case, which meant lots of waiting.  To help us pass the time, she had her EKG and echo before she was taken back to have her cath.  This was the first time she was somewhat calm during her EKG, so I snapped a photo!  (And she has had many EKG’s!)  Usually, I’m helping keep her still by counting her chest leads, singing and attempting to distract her.  (Trying to keep a 2-year-old distracted and still with 15 long leads stuck to her chest can be tricky!)

Heart Cath 2010-2

Mommy had to help with the echo.

Heart Cath 2010-3

After a while, Kacy joined us to help keep Mary Clare entertained!  A great surprise and a huge help to Mommy and Daddy!

Heart Cath 2010-4

After books, Barbies, strolls, singing, playing…

Heart Cath 2010-5

…coloring, cartoons, hair-dos, and more Barbies, she was given Versed around 12:00 to help relax her before they took her back.  It all happened so fast once they gave her the Versed.  One minute, we were all rolling at how silly she was and laughing with her, then the next minute the cath docs came in to play with her and just check on her, so I thought.  They picked her up and said, “Lets go out here to ….,” which is all I remember.  My heart dropped, time stood still and I was heartbroken, relieved and terrified all at once.  I will never get used to that.  I was so happy that she wasn’t crying for me (which is my biggest fear), but I said nothing to her before she walked out of the room without me.  I didn’t have a chance.  But then again, what do you say to your 2-year-old who is being taken away by a group of scrubbed doctors and nurses she doesn’t know?  I had complete trust and admiration for each and everyone on her cardiology team, but she didn’t understand who they were or what they were doing for her.   That is one of the hardest parts of all of this.  Looking back, I know why they scooped away my little blueberry so quickly and I’d love to go back today and thank them for it.

Heart Cath 2010-6

Around 3:00, we got the page that she was extubated and heading to recovery!  She slept for a short while and woke up  with a vengeance, ripping off her oxygen mask and demanding her, “Papi!”  She was supposed to sleep for most of the 5 hour, post-cath observation, but we all quickly realized that she was not a happy camper, was wide awake and ready to get out of MUSC! It was tough trying to explain to her that she had to keep her pusle Ox on, IV in, leads attached and her leg still.   Her cardiologist came by around 6:00 PM, saw that she was certainly holding her own and doing well, other than being tethered to the wall, and said we could go home an hour early!

Heart Cath 2010-7

By this point, Mel was completely out of it, but we managed to be discharged by 7PM!  Her cath results were great and she is “Fontan ready.”   She had two catheter insertion sites, one in her groin and one in her neck.  Her pressures and function looked great and nothing extra was done, nothing to balloon or stint.  They typically coil off extra collateral veins during these kiddos’ caths, and hers weren’t significant enough to even do that.   (The  growth of the extra veins are the body’s way of responding to lower O2 levels, an attempt to increase oxygen flow to the heart.)  Her cath yesterday was simply a diagnostic cath!  Although, Dr. Bradley, her surgeon, would like her to be closer to 15 Kgs, it looks like we’ll definitely be back down here in 3-6 months for her Fontan.  I’m hoping all of the birthday cake this month will add a few extra pounds!

Heart Cath 2010-8

And guess who was starving and ready for noodles once we walked out of MUSC? So in her new mermaid costume, barefoot and bandaged up, we headed to Fleet Landing, of course!

MUSC Heart Catheterization (& updates)

After a long, but fun morning of playing Barbies, singing, strolling around MUSC campus and waiting, Mary Clare finally went back into the cath lab. We were admitted around 7:00 AM and she was taken to the cath lab around 12:00. I’ll update as we hear news!

On a funny note, MC was given Versed a few minutes before they took her back into the lab. We all laughed as she sang slowly, and tried to wink at her nurse, Kate. Mel even asked her to whistle, which only led to her drooling and laughing. She sang, “The Caterpiller” song that Ms. Jordan taught her and stared at her little fingers as the inch worm. She was too funny. She had the entire cath lab rolling.

2:25 PM UPDATE 1: We received a page from the cath lab about on hour ago. Mary Clare had no trouble being put to sleep and has been intubated. So far, so good. Thank you all for your wonderfully kind words of encouragement and prayers for our sweet MC! Also, a heart catheterization is simply a way for her cardiology team to really get accurate numbers of her heart. The readings from today will help the team decide when to do her third surgery, the Fontan.

The following definition is from the Cardiovascular Perfusion Education Program & Life Support Departments of the Medical University of South Carolina…
cardiac catheterization: passage of a catheter into the heart through a blood vessel leading to the heart for the purpose of measuring intracardiac pressure abnormalities, obtaining cardiac blood samples, and/or imaging cardiac structures by injection of radio-opaque dye.

UPDATE 7:00 PM. MC was discharged and we are heading home! Cath went well!

UPDATE 9:00 PM. Heading home! I couldn’t post much earlier because Mary Clare was NOT a happy girl! It took all we had to keep her somewhat calm! She is still awake for now, but I’m sure we have a nice quiet drive ahead of us. The cath was a successful one, and diagnostic only! (No additional procedures were necessary!) A surgical request has been submitted and we are looking at 3-6 months for her Fontan. I cannot thank you all enough for the support and most importantly your prayers! I’ll be sure to post lots of photos later. For now I think I’ll join Mary Clare as she naps. It’s been a long day!

Tomorrow’s the day!

Tonight, after Mel’s council meeting, we’ll head to our beloved Charleston.  Mary Clare will have her heart catheterization tomorrow morning at MUSC.  We check in at 7:15 AM, as she will be the second case.  Generally, a heart cath takes around 3 hours, unless they must perform an ablation or any other “clean-up” work with her little half-heart.   We’ll be driving home after she recovers, so hopefully will be home tomorrow evening.  (If they must perform any other additional procedures, she’ll have to stay.) 

I’ll have my iPhone and, of course, will be close to the computer lab in the waiting area.  Once she is in the cath lab all Mel and I will have to do to keep busy is wait, pray that all goes well  and update you all, so don’t worry, I’ll be updating as often as we are updated.  I’m hoping for a clean cath, great findings and a future date for her Fontan, preferably much later than this summer! 

Please keep my little blueberry in your prayers tonight and tomorrow! 

Happy Memorial Day 2010

Memorial Day 2010

“We,” the girls’ team,  spent all morning getting housework done, lunch packed, dinner planned, and sunscreen on.  Fully prepared for an entire day at the pool,  “we” loaded the golf cart and headed for Prestwood Country Club with everything but the kitchen sink.   As soon as we walked through the gates, we heard the lifeguard yell, “Thunder!”  So as we wait for the sun to emerge once again, we’ll enjoy our Memorial Day picnic in the den.  Happy Memorial Day!

Update:  We headed back out to the pool after our indoor lunch picnic only to swim for about 10 minutes when a dark cloud came right out of nowhere and dropped the sea onto us.  We tried to wait it out with a few other families while playing tea party and eating each other’s snacks.  After about an hour and just as Mary Clare fell asleep, we gave up and piled back into the golf cart to zoom home in the monsoon.  What a way to spend Memorial Day.

As the sun is now beginning to beam out from under the clouds AGAIN, I’m tempted to call our friends and reschedule our Memorial Day cook-out??? Hmmmm...

Just want to share…

The link below takes you to a post that is written by a mom whose beautiful son, Asher, recently conquered the Fontan, the third staged surgery for HLHS kiddos.  (The third surgery Mary Clare will soon face.)   Asher is doing well and I love keeping up with him.  His mom is “real” and I thoroughly enjoy reading her posts.  Today, her post is everything that I live and know and feel and believe with all of my being.  I have never met this mom, but I feel so close to her, as I do with every other heart mom.  Instant soul mates, we all are. We don’t have to know a thing about each other, other than that “she gets it.” So here it is, and boy, does she get it.

Embrace

Embrace Today

Date Night with Daddy

Last day of 5K 1

Mel took the girls to a movie last night to celebrate the last day of school!  Today is the last day for McCanless!  I can’t believe she is now officially a 1st grader!  After dolling up for her “date” with Daddy, which meant plundering in my make-up bag, McCanless decided to dance and pose for the camera…

Last Day of 5K 2

Last Day of 5K 3

Last Day of 5k 4

…and of course, little sister, my new 3Ker, had to join in!

Sometimes the most fun is accidental…

Prestwood Party Anni 7

During an impromptu play date to Prestwood playground after school this week, the gang decided to take a swim…

Prestwood Party Anni 2

and who are we to stop them merely for lack of swimsuits?

Prestwood Party Anni 1

Prestwood Party Anni 3

Prestwood Party Anni 4

Prestwood Party Anni 5

Prestwood Party Anni 6

The geese didn’t seem to mind.

5K End-of-Year Party!!

FunDayGo Party 1

There were some wild and crazy almost 1st graders at FunDayGo last week!

FunDayGo Party 2

Including my own, McCanless!  I guess they were a wee bit excited about the school year coming to an end.  Can you tell?

FunDayGo 3

Sugar Baby thought the extra shot of pink sugar would help her achieve maximum slide…every time.

FunDayGo 4

Ready?

FunDayGo 5

Go!  Never once, did she drop her pink sugar straw.

Can you spot it?

McCanless Class Canvas 1

This is a photo of a portion of McCanless’ 5K class canvas submitted for the THA Spring Art Expo.  It took me a while to find her tiny printed name and drawing…can you?

McCanless Class Canvas 2

She writes her name so tiny sometimes, I can barely read it.

I do love her pink dinosaur!

Jump Rope for Heart

I had great plans of getting fantastic photojournal-ish type photos of the American Heat Association Jump Rope for Heart event and Blood Drive at Thomas Hart.  Not only for my blog, but perhaps the Hartsville Messenger.  I even thought about submitting something to the State, a lofty aspiration, but why not?  This was a huge event in honor of my Mary Clare, and McCanless had such a great time keeping up with all of the very generous donations for her cause.   Surely everyone would want to know about it.  Right?  Then I realized that I would have to do two things:  1) find time to write articles and 2) photo willing subjects.  Neither of which would happen.

Jump a thon 1

McCanless refused to even face my camera to show off her cute double-dutch worthy attire.

Jump a thon 2

And Mary Clare, although perfectly content on every single middle school girl’s hip, wouldn’t dare smile.  Not even once for my camera.

Jump a thon 3

She even broke down in the middle of the gym floor because she wanted a “pink snow cone, not a green one.”

It probably didn’t help matters when I gave blood, just as I have so, so many times before, immediately before the Jump Rope event.  The event that was held way out on the soccer field in the 95 degree , hot and humid SC spring weather.  I gave blood, boastfully sat for a mere minute, grabbed Mary Clare and headed out to the field with my Nikon. I sat down on the bleachers and passed Mary Clare on to a few students and blacked out.   So instead of taking photos, I stared out into space.  Literally.  Needless to say I didn’t get my award winning photojournalistic shots I originally hoped for, but we had a wonderful event to spread awareness for the American Heart Assocation and even beat our last year’s record for pints of blood donated!   Way to go, THA!

Red Cross Blood Drive Today!

Today is the annual THA Red Cross Blood drive in honor of Mary Clare!  Stop by THA gym to donate, visit with Miss MC herself and have a cookie!  The drive will be held from 12:30-5:30!

Mary Clare’s 2K Spring Preschool Program

First Baptist Weekday Preschool held the 2010 Spring Musical tonight.  After the last incident of “stage fright” at her dance recital, I had no expectations.  As soon as she walked into the church with her class, she spotted me and just sat and waved, saying, “Hi mommy.”  Occasionally, she would lean over and tell her teacher, “That’s my mommy.”  2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 1

“Hi Mommy.”

2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 2

2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 3

2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 4

2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 5

Once again, Mary Clare found something better to do than perform on stage.  She climbed up and down the stairs.

2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 6

Mary Clare and her best bud and partner in crime, Audrey, at “The After Party.”

2010 Mary Clare 2K Spring Program 7

The “Paci” kiss that Mary Clare and Audrey do every morning when they see each other!

Pinkalicious Girl

I thought I’d test out my Mother’s Day gift last night.  (Mel bought me a Kodak flip digital camera to catch my beauties at a moment’s notice.)  I was trying to get her to show off for me, but she thought reading her favorite book was far more important.  Just like McCanless at age two/three, she is obsessed with all things pink and still loves Pinkalicious.

2010 Dance Recital

Dizzy Recital 2010 1

This year, both of my baby girls were in the dance recital!!  We were all so excited to see Mary Clare’s big dancing debut.  We rode to the Center Theater in style on our golf cart, of course!

Dizzy Recital 2010 2

McCanless back stage before the show began.  At the ripe old age of six, this was her fourth recital, so she was ready!

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Mary Clare on stage before the show began.  She was so excited!

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Good thing I got a few photos of her dancing on stage before the show began…

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McCanless’ first number, her hip hop dance, “Hot and Cold.”

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Mary Clare’s big debut was next…baby tap, “Fuzzy, Fuzzy, Cute, Cute.”

Dizzy Recital 2010 7

Sitting…

Dizzy Recital 2010 8

Our MC is on the far left…still sitting.

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…and sitting…

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MC sat through her entire dancing debut.  Oh well, we thought she was amazing anyway and Nonnie treated her to a lollipop bouquet for her fantastic performance!

Dizzy Dancin Recital 15

(Quick costume change for the petites…)

Dizzy Recital 2010 9

McCanless’ second dance, her Petite Company jazz routine, “Flaunt It.”

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… and the big finale with all of the Competition Company girls, jazz “Lady Gaga”

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Our tiny dancers heading home after a fantastic show!  We are so proud of both of our dancing girls! (Even though our tiniest decided to sit it out this year.)

2010 THA Mother’s Day Program

2010 Mother's Day program 1

I was so busy laughing at watching the cute little barn animals, I didn’t get many photos and didn’t even get a shot of McCanless during her “solo.”  (Each child had a small speaking part and hers was the final and closing line!)  McCanless was a farmer and declared, “Now that we’ve put a smile on your face, our fun-filled farm is in a happier place!”  I was so proud!

2010 Mother's Day program 2

After the “Barnyard Moosical” we were able to see the special art that McCanless has been working on!

2010 Mother's Day program 3

This was my favorite, her Eric Carle piece that she entitled, “The Hoola Girll.”

My baby artist

Baby Artist 1

Baby Artist 2

Baby Artist 3

Baby Artist 4

Baby Artist 5

Field Day 2010

Field Day 2010 1

Claire, McCanless, Shea and Bennett

Field Day 2010 2

Mel enjoyed field day with McCanless this year!  Baby sister wasn’t feeling so great, so she  I stayed just long enough just to get a glittery butterfly painted on her cheek then we headed home for a nap!

Moyd Farm

McCanless recently went on a field trip to one of her classmate’s family farm.  They have been studying life cycles and are actually hatching baby chicks in their classroom.  What is so ironic about this field trip, is that in third grade, I also went on a field trip to the same house and farm.  Then, the house belonged to my third grade teacher, Mrs. Watkins.  The kids had a wonderful time riding horses, hunting “doodle bugs” and lady bugs, playing games and having a picnic!  We will certainly miss Ms. Susie, McCanless’  wild, wacky and wonderful 5K teacher!

Moyd Farm 1

Moyd Farm 2

Moyd Farm 3

5K enjoying the joggling board

Moyd Farm 4

Moyd Farm 5

Moyd Farm 6

Moyd Farm 7

Ms. Susie and a group of kids searching for larvae.  I don’t think she realized I was taking the photo.  What do you think?

Jumping for Clare…

Check this out!

Saturday…

Smithfield the pig

Today, we ventured back downtown and to the Black Creek, Blue Jeans and BBQ festival with Daddy.  We ate BBQ, funnel cakes and ironically, watched Smithfield, the pig, paint a beautiful painting!

Smithfield the pig 2

We also visited booths at the Marketplace, ate lunch at the Rooster with the Moore girls and Fort crew, and headed back to the BBQ festival!  The girls are now completely dirty, sunburned and sleeping!  A great Saturday!

Black Creek, Blue Jeans, BBQ Weekend…

Black Creek Arts Council is hosting a Black Creek, Blue Jeans and BBQ weekend.  Tonight was the kick-off!!

BBB 3

Ironically, Daddy was asked to judge the “Anything Butt” BBQ recipe contest, so we tagged along to help out!  (If you know Mel, you know he is the pickiest eater EVER, so we had to tag along to help him out a bit.)  After the official taste testing, we walked around Cargill Way visiting with friends and eating everything the BBQers had to offer!   They were getting geared up for the Big BBQ contest tomorrow!  We will certainly be heading out to the Marketplace tomorrow morning!  Those BBQ pits smelled so yummy!

BBB 1

Mary Clare was hung up on the chocolate red velvet cake balls!  I loved the Key Lime and Strawberry Cake.  (We’re two of a kind when it comes to food, Mary Clare and I.  We both have a huge sweet tooth!)

BBB 2

McCanless enjoyed socializing with a friends and dancing with the band!  She loved the chicken and dumplins and vegetable soup…oh, and the fried corn!  Tonight may have made up for us missing the Taylor Swift concert.

It has been a while…

It has been a while since I’ve posted…so much going on.  To give you an idea, just this week, dance pictures and antibiotics have been taken, visits from aunts abundant, flowers planted/yard cleaned, THA Yard Sale collecting, sunny-fun field days, golf carts serviced for summer along with toilet and stove repairs, volunteer firefighter daddies on call, birthday parties, Recycle Plant field trips, caterpillar projects, summer camp planning, summer wishing, summer countdown!  Whew, it has been a long week and with the weekend peeking through, we have even more planned!  Starting tonight with Black Creek, Blue Jeans and BBQ downtown!

Many of our Saturdays are spent…

Flipping…

Downtown Marketplace April 1

and flopping…

Downtown Marketplace April 2

with sisters…

Downtown Marketplace April 3

smiling at mommy…

Downtown Marketplace 4

and laughing with best friends.

My little super star…

Last weekend, Nonnie, McCanless, Mary Clare and I packed up and headed to the “Up State” for the weekend.  McCanless’ Dance Company had a huge dance competition in Spartanburg and she was so ready!  I think she gets more excited about competition than actual dance class!  She truly loves performing.

StarPower 1

McCanless getting into her musical theater costume for her “Flaunt It” routine with the Petite Company.  They did an excellent job!

StarPower Stage 1

“Flaunt It” on stage

StarPower 2

This photo is of all of the dance companies:  Petities, Juniors and Seniors.  Their “Lady Gaga” routine won first place and Top Overall, which is phenomenal!   Especially considering the girls were up against huge, powerhouse studios from across both North and South Carolina!  This competition was definitely a step way up from others we’ve been to.  I felt like I was watching America’s Best Dance Crew on Mtv.  (I’m not kidding.)  I was so happy for our  own little dance crew!  (Can you tell I’m a proud mama?)

StarPower 3

McCanless loves watching the older girls.  Many nights after her own dance class, she begs me to allow her to stay and watch the “big” girls dance.

StarPower 6

Here she is with her hip hop group… Their “Hot and Cold” routine won the judges choice award for “burning up the floor.”   They are so cute.  (Can you tell the boys are in firemen uniforms?)

StarPower 4

After McCanless danced on Saturday morning, we played in downtown Spartanburg.

StarPower 5

That evening we celebrated McCanless’ huge accomplishments at Cornbread to Caviar, a great little spot right downtown.  Okra, a little jazz band played as Nonnie, the girls and I treated ourselves to fine Southern cousine on the patio, and then headed back to  the Marriot for a fabulous girls’ night in and a great night’s sleep!  I’m sure McCanless was dreaming of tutus and twirls.

Yay

Here’s to trips to Kalmia Gardens for super fun birthday parties…

Finn's Party 2

sunglasses and hats

Finn's Party 3

Springtime secrets

Kalmia Secrets

Finn's Party 4

and the countdown to barefoot summers!

Finn's Party 5

ADD

Press 1

No, we’re not moving…

Press 2

but it did take a little help from Bubba’s machinery…

Press 3

to move this baby.

Press 4

What is it, you ask?

Press 5

An Original Heidelberg letterpress, of course.

Mel had a bit of time on his hands so he thought it would be great idea to fly up to Tennessee to pick up a new letterpress machine.  While we were sunbathing in Florida a couple of weeks ago, he jumped on a plane with his favorite graphic designer pal and bought this golf cart sized invitation printer and drove it back to Hartsville.  We both drove into town simultaneously, so imagine my surprise to find such a fabulous welcome home gift.   My dad, lovingly dubbed, “Bubba,” agreed to help unload it and set up , along with McCanless’ help, of course.  I can’t help but laugh.  Mel has always been facsinated with art and design and became interested in letterpress design a few years ago.  I knew it was coming.

I guess his schedule along with his recent ambition of firefighter training wasn’t enough.  Now “we’re” into letterpress.  Anyone need invitations or cards?  (Specially designed by a funeral director, clothing designer/manufacturer, mayor, firefighter extraordinaire.)  He is currently working on building and designing his letterpress website.

The Newest Pennington girl…

Natalie 3

Last weekend, McCanless decided to save all of the baby turtles in Hartsville.  She wanted to go to PetSmart and purchase a huge aquarium, capture as many baby turtles as she could find and save them before they had to cross the dangerous road.  (Unfortunately, every year about this time, we find way too many baby turtles who don’t make it into the lake.  The mommy turtles love to lay eggs in our front yard, and McCanless hates to find the flattened little turtles in the road in front of our house who don’t make it across the road and into the lake.)  Last week, she made it her mission to save as many as she could.

Natalie 2

That was until we spoke to Jake, a turtle expert at PetSmart, who told us that once in captivity, the turtles would never learn how to live on their own.  Mommy refused to capture a baby turtle and keep it indefinitely, so that was out of the question.  McCanless’ dream squashed, much like the poor baby turtles, she cried.  And cried.  Until we hit the Betta Isle and before us stood a tower of  pretty, fluorescent, flowing and girlish fish.  Perfect for McCanless.  Low maintenance, no huge aquarium, no bubbles, no worries.  Perfect for Mommy.  Jake even told me that these fish sometimes live in mud puddles, which means no burial services in the near future for us.  And so, my little turtle conservationist has turned into an aquatic fanatic.   For now.

Natalie 1

Meet Natalie, the newest Pennington girl.  (Well, we’re assuming “she” is a girl, because that’s what McCanless says she is.)  Have you ever met a fish named Natalie?  Me either.

Have you ever…

Soccer 1

seen a cuter soccer player?

Soccer 2

Well an “almost” soccer player.

Soccer 3

McCanless has a “beginner’s clinic” this week,

Soccer 4

but I think she looks like a pro already, don’t you?  Look out, Mia Hamm!

I know Mel has secretly dreamed of this moment.  He was quite the soccer player in high school and was offered scholarships to play in college.  I’m hoping McCanless will follow in her daddy’s footsteps and be a natural.  She is certainly excited, which thrills Mel!  Tomorrow afternoon, I happen to have a hair cut appointment and he graciously agreed to help McCanless get ready for her very first day of soccer clinic at THA.  She may not know the sport just yet, but she certainy knows how to accessorize!  The  new pink socks and matching ball were “necessary” for clinic, she said.

Wow…

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April 8,2006-McCanless at Chuck E. Cheese’s

Mary Clare at Chuck E. Cheeses 2010

April 9, 2010- Mary Clare at Chuck E. Cheese’s

It is amazing how time flies…

Girls’ Road Trip!!

sissys florida sign

McCanless, Mary Clare, Nonnie, Kacy, Kate and I hit the road to Indiatlantic to see Sissy!  We had so much fun staying up late watching  Mama Mia and New Moon, eating ourselves silly, getting sun burned, taking outdoor showers and singing all week long.  We have the best family in the world and my cheeks still hurt from laughing so much!

Sissys 1

As soon as we got to Sissy’s house, the girls dove into the pool!

Sissys 2

Sissys 3

Sissys 4

Sissys 5

Sissy and Nonnie

Sissys  6

Sissys 7

Kate (and McCanless)

Sissys 8

Sissys 9

Sissys 10

Sissys 11

Sissys 12

Sissys 13

Sissy cooking

Sissy, quite the chef, made four pans of chicken enchiladas for us! Yum!

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sissys 15

Sissys 19

sissys 16

sissys 17

sissys 18

Ride Home 6

The ride home was a bit more difficult than the ride down…

Ride Home 1

Mary Clare wanted desperately to sit in the very back of my Tahoe with all of the luggage and my sister, Kate.  She was a bit angry with me.  Can you tell?

Ride Home 2

McCanless sent me hate mail over the back of my seat with her magnetic board because I wouldn’t allow her to sit back there either.

Ride Home 3

She took one of my responses and embellished it.

Ride Home 4

After a few dozen, “I’m sorry” letters and “I love you’s”  from me, she broke down…somewhat.

Ride Home 5

Finally.  You are my sunshine too, McCanless!

SC sign

Thank you Sissy!  We all had the best time and love you (and Uncle Kurt) so very much!  We can’t wait to see you again soon!

Easter Weekend 2010

Virginia Anne's Egg Hunt 2010 1

On Saturday, we went to Virginia Ann’s Annual Easter Egg Hunt, which is always so much fun!

Virginia Anne's Egg Hunt 2010 2

Easter Morning 2010 1

Two sleepy bunnies find their Easter baskets on Sunday morning!

Easter Morning 2010 3

The Easter bunny always leaves the girls lots of summer fun toys.  Mary Clare immediately tried out all of her new loot.  She jumped in the bath tub with her new swim suit, arm floaties, float ring and pool toys.  I had to drag her out of the tub to dress her for church!

Easter Morning 2010 4

We were honored to have Mimi and BaPa at church with us this year.  Unfortunately, we didn’t take the time to get a family photo!

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St. Bartholomew’s Annual Easter Egg hunt

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After lunch with my family and Mimi and Bapa and yet another egg hunt at the club, we headed out to Nonnie’s house for more Easter fun with the Woodham crew!

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We’re back…

We arrived back in town last night around 9 pm and crashed!  We spent most of our Spring Break down in Indiatlantic, Florida (visiting Sissy, Nonnie’s sister) with Nonnie, Kacy and Kate, a true girls road trip!  (Uncle Kurt decided to spend the week traveling, and I can’t blame him!  We had so much fun and I have lots of photos to post, as soon as I find longer than 5 minutes to sit down!

Mel flew to Tennessee yesterday as part of his next business venture…more details on that later.  Always something going on around here!   Today, the girls and I are off to PetsMart to gather necessary items for McCanless’ new pet turtle, “Easter Egg.”  (She found him on Easter Sunday in our yard.)  I think we’ll do a bit of shopping and maybe even head to Chuck E. Cheese.  We are all suffering from the thick film of pollen lingering around here and are still waiting on those April showers to wash our allergies away.  No such luck yet, but we are enjoying the 90 degree weather that SC spring brings.   McCanless is getting more and more excited about Summer break and has lots of plans.  Mary Clare has her heart catheterization scheduled for June 2 with surgery in the months following. We have so much going on and I am so thankful for our full and happy life!

Prestwood Easter Egg Hunt 2010

Prestwood Easter Egg Hunt 2010

Who knew that an Easter Egg hunt, which began at 11:00, would be over by 11:05.  This is the only photo I got.  We arrived at 11:10.

We certainly had a full weekend, which warrants the tardy arrival in my book. We went to the movies (MC’s first, and she did fabulously!), out to eat, where the family beside our table moved, and spent an hour in PetsMart on Friday night with the entire Fort crew.  We had two sleepovers, with one sick guest, who had to be taken home at 7 am, three birthday parties, one Easter Egg Hunt, about 3 hours of sleep, one visitation, sadly, and a doctor’s appointment.  We now have four allergy sufferers, one sinus infection, one UTI (MC, again!), two antibiotics, and one 6 year old, who came home wearing a padded bra and large hoop earrings, who seriously needs an attidue adjustment.  How was your weekend?

“MY Pappi”

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So, have we even tried to get rid of the paci?

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Pacifier II

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Pacifier VI

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Pacifier I

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Paci II

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Not a chance!

Oh, My Sweet Mary Clare…

Where are you?  Maybe I have been oblivious to the baby girl who morphed into a toddler over night, but for some reason it smacked me in the face yesterday afternoon.  Quite literally.  Mary Clare is a full-blown 2 1/2 year old.  Wow, do I remember saying to so many other “rookie” mothers, “Age three was WAY more difficult than age two for McCanless and me.”  (As if I had turned into a pro after living through McCanless’ third year.)  I don’t know if it is a girl thing or what, but they just gain so much independence and want to do everything “all by myself” and want their needs met immediately.   I thought it was an “only” child/first born/strong willed thing with McCanless.  Maybe it is just a three year old thing.  Nevertheless, it is here. Once again.  To say that Mary Clare is defiant right now would be a huge understatement.  She  wrinkles her face and nose, she grabs and shouts and throws, hits, bites,  and scratches when things don’t go her way.  Which happens to be quite often.  Up until last night, it was a bit comical, cute even.  I would laugh and pick her up proclaiming her my cute “little bossy one.”  Now, I realize the damage that that caused.  Yikes…

I guess I just better suck it up, put on my big girl panties and deal with her little “bossiness,” cute chubby cheeks and whispy, golden, flyaway locks and all.  It is high-time she started wearing her own big girl panties!  Wish me luck!

Grammar

Yesterday, McCanless said to Mary Clare, “I’m watching you with my eye.”   (As she pointed from her baby sister to her own two eyes repeatedly.)

I said, “McCanless, how many eyes do you have?” 

“Two, Mom.”

“Then you should be using the plural form of eye.  What would that be?”

“Fine.  Mary Clare, I’m watching you with my plural eyes.”

Thix Tooth Losth

Lost 6th tooth II

McCanless lost her sixth tooth last night in her sleep!

Lost 6th tooth

Looks like she will be finding a pot of gold under her pillow this St. Patrick’s Day!

And once again, we’ll be writing a letter to Pixie Lily, her tooth fairy, explaining why there is no tooth left under the pillow.  This is the third tooth she has swallowed in her sleep.  Out of six! McCanless isn’t having great luck with keeping up with those lost teeth. One, she lost at school after insisting on taking it to show it off to her friends, and yet another Mary Clare held and lost in our yard.  Sadly, Pixie Lily has only one little baby tooth on her necklace despite the missing 6 from McCanless’ mouth.  At least she still rewards her with sparkling glitter and sparkling dollars on her pillow with our without the actual tooth!

At six-years-old with six teeth missing, it reminds me of when she was six-months-old with six teeth in!  Wow, how time flies!

St. John, US Virgin Islands

Lucky us, Aunt Liz (Mel’s sister) decided to get married in the U.S. Virgin Islands!   About 30 friends and family of Robert and Liz headed to the islands for a great time!

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Snorkeling at Trunk Bay

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McCanless snorkeled way out into deep waters with the adults!

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“Rehearsal” Cocktail Cruise

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Wedding Dancing Rehearsal Dinner

After our catamaran docked, we headed into town to a local restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, a bit of dancing and toasts to the bride and groom.

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Mel let it be known that he is a huge fan of steel drums, so the band decided to let him join them for a song or two…

Mel steel drums

Little did we all know that he can actually play the steel drums?!

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McCanless took over my camera during the Catholic ceremony, which was a bit long in her book.

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This is how Mary Clare spent the entire ceremony, sleeping on my sun burned chest.

Reese

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Girls at Liz's wedding

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Happy Wedding Day Liz and Robert!  We love you very much!

Want to know what we’ve been up to lately?

Rehearsal Cruise I

Ahhhhh…

After a limo ride (funeral home travel, of course), two planes, one Westin bus, and a water taxi, we made it to St. John all in one piece!

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We began our trip at 7 am yesterday and made it here by 9 pm!  Whew, what a day, especially since we were on the plane, bus and water taxi with several many children, most of whom were cousins!

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Reese and Mary Clare were simply giddy after the long day, playing hug, hug,hug…all fall down in the St. Thomas air port, apparently a game only the two of them know how to play.  At least the kids all had each other to keep them happy!

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The payoff:  this is my view from the balcony waiting on everyone to wake as I update the world on our trip.  It is 7 am and very warm already. (I can’t shake that school schedule.)  My coffee and my newest Jodi Picoult book are beside me and I’m in “Ahhhh” mode.    Soon the girlies and Mel will get up and we can hit the beach!  Life is good!

Still in Charlotte!!

It is now 2:21 and we are still at CLT!!  We boarded, watched a few episodes of iCarly and had to “evacuate” the plane!  We are now waiting on another, hopefully safer plane…

Thank goodness we have plenty of cousins on board to help us occupy our time!

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We’re on our way…

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St. John, here we come!

Sigh…

stuffed-suitcase

We’ve I’ve almost finished packing!  As soon as I finish washing, folding, finding, sorting, ironing, coordinating, and strategically alligning our clothes, I’ll be done!  (Mel is on his own and has yet to even think about what to pack.)  I knew packing for three girls for a wedding in St. John would be difficult, but come on!  Mel said he’s only “allowing” two suitcases.  Total.  AND although I do realize that I packed for the girls team last year for cousin Tim’s wedding in Mexico and, yes, we only took two suitcases then…  total…

Mary Clare was a bit smaller.  Not that we actually packed her in the suitcase.  Just her clothes.

We just have stuff.  Girls have stuff.  And shoes.  Mel should know this by now.

Besides I’d rather be charged for an additional loosely stuffed suitcase than pay for the additional charge of an overstuffed and overweight suitcase.

Enough procrastinating.  Back to packing!

There’s no doubt about it…

my girls love to shake it!

Wow. Just wow…

rotary-cell-phone

Last week, Mel was at the Fire Department.  (Now as Mayor, he is able to live out every boy’s childhood fantasy and be involved in the Fire Department!)  Often, Mel stops by, usually late night,  and visits with the fire fighters, and even has his own “pager.”  He was talking to one of the volunteers about Mary Clare and explaining her heart, her surgeries and how her heart functions as a single ventricle.  Much to his surprise, a young man walked up to him and knew exactly what he was explaining.  If you have ever heard it explained, it is nothing the average person understands.  I’ve even had to explain it to a few doctors and nurses myself.  So how on earth this young many knew what HLHS is was C-R-A-Z-Y!

He knew because he is an HLHS survivor!  Right here in Hartsville, Mel met a 30 year-old HLHS survivor.  I still can’t believe it!  This is what his precious mother posted to my blog today….  (I’m so excited, I just had to share!!)

Hi Kerri and Mel, before I even began reading your journal I felt such a connection with the two of you. I am the very proud Mom of an almost 30 year old son who was also born with HLHS. Mel, you met him about a week ago in Hartsville. He’s a paramedic working part-time in Hartsville. His name is Brandon Butler and he is the oldest survivor of this particular heart defect. He also goes to MUSC for his cardiology checkups. Just wanted you guys to know that there is a Mom out here who knows exactly what you are going through. The first seven years were awfully hard but God has been so good. Thankfully Brandon has had only minor problems in the past 22 years. His Fontan was done at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota in 1986 and we spent approximately 6 weeks there. His surgery went great…no problems at all. I’m sure that Mary Clare will be just fine. She is such a precious little girl. Kerri,I would love for you to meet Brandon and see “my miracle”. One thing these children have is the drive to pack everything into life that they can. Brandon never stops! He’s a full-time paramedic with Marlboro County Rescue, part-time with Darco and Scotland County and also helps a friend of his in Horry County with his transport service. I’d like for him to rest some but that’s totally out of the question! … If you ever have an questions or just need to talk please feel free to contact me….My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
If anyone else reading this blog needs someone to talk to or just to see that there is a light at the end of this long tunnel, please don’t hesitate to call.
Jackie Butler Nolan

She even gave me her phone number!  Guess who I’m calling tonight?

Wow.

“The THA must-attend, event of the month” according to McCanless…

Want to know why the girls insisted on wearing rollers to bed last Friday night?

THA Fancy Nancy I

(Well, actually McCanless begged to wear them, and, well, you know how little sister is…Monkey see, Monkey do.)

THA Fancy Nancy II

…so they could get FANCY on Saturday morning …and curly hair was only the beginning! We pulled out our Fancy Nancy ensembles, hot pink feather boas, glitter make-up, heels, tiaras and sparkle pocket books!  (Even Mommy wore pink and purple to the splendiferous affair!)  As Nancy says, “More is always better!”  I think my girls live by this mantra.

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She may be snaggle, but she certainly has stupendous style!

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We almost didn’t recognize Fancy Ms. Susie, McCanless’ teacher!

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Pink and purple explosion…balloons, glitter crafts, princess face paint a real disco ball and and jewelry…all followed by a perfectly perfect tea party!

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Mary Clare waiting for her nails to dry!

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Ms. Susie read Fancy Nancy books, too! It was a most wonderful affair!

Jack-O-Cannie!

Jackolantern Canie I

McCanless lost her fourth tooth last Monday afternoon and another on Tuesday, while we were at MUSC with Mary Clare!  (Just in time for Aunt Liz’s wedding and lots of family wedding photos!)

Just a taste of the drama going on in our household…

I’m in the kitchen loading the dishwasher with the Wizards of Waverly Place theme song stuck in my head (for some reason), feathers stuck to my shirt and glitter under my nails from the Fancy Nancy Party I took the girls to this morning….)

McCanless comes running in with black booty shorts, blue glitter chucks and her Justice glitter pink hoodie on….(also with left over mascara under her eyes and glitter and face paint all from the Fancy Nancy Party)

McCanless:  MOM, we have a major problem.  It’s devastating!  (I swear, I’m not exaggerating.)

Me:  And what is the problem, McCanless?

McCanless:  Hannah Montana’s new movie will be on the Disney channel on March 9!

Me: And that is devastating?

McCanless:  MOM, WE LEAVE FOR LIZ’S WEDDING ON MARCH 9!  UGGGGGGH!  (Big dramatic gestures going on here…)

Me:  Sweetheart, our plane doesn’t fly out until March 10.

McCanless:  (Screams so loud it wakes up MC in my bedroom)  OH, what a relief, Mom.  I was really worried there for a minute.  Whew!  (Big deep breaths.)

I’m not kidding.

MUSC Cardiology Apt..

Yesterday was a simply stunning day in Charleston!  It was sunny and 65 degrees.  Just beautiful.   Mel and I took off with both girls pretty early for a long day at our favorite hospital.  I wanted to have Mary Clare checked by her cardiologist, Dr. Forbus, before we flew to St. John in a couple of weeks;  just as I did last year before we flew to Mexico and the previous year before we flew to Chicago…She is becoming quite the world traveler, my Mary Clare.

As we walked through the halls of MUSC, McCanless stopped me and asked me to pull her loose tooth.  (It has been hanging by a thread for days now.  I knew she would end up swallowing it as she has done twice before.)  I kneeled down and popped it right out!  More memories at MUSC!

It was time for blood work and that certainly wasn’t fun for Miss Mary Clare (or Mommy, who had to hold her down), but she proved to be a big girl and only cried for a moment.  The dozen or so “DU-DU Dora” stickers that Ms. Francis gave her helped tremendously, however!  Her oxygen saturation levels were in the low 90’s, which is an all time high for her!  (Her norm is usually mid 80’s.)  Her blood pressure was great, her heart size was great and overall health was great!  She is still hovering around 26-27 pounds, so her heart catheterization was scheduled for June, in hopes that she’ll chunk up at least a bit by then.  Her cardiologist just said she is just a petite and short little girl, and will probably always be so.  So, they decided to proceed.

Once Mary Clare has her heart catheteriztion in June, we’ll know exact levels and pressures in her heart.  If everything looks okay, we can schedule her surgery within the next 6 months.  (Unless levels/pressures dictate a sooner surgery date.)  The catheterization will only be an overnight stay but Dr. Forbus told us to expect a 6 week stay for the Fontan, her third staged surgery.  We have so much to consider and so much to prepare for when that time comes.  It’s ironic, though, after waiting over three years, we are finally at the end of this stage of our journey.  I found out about Mary Clare’s fragile heart in February of 2007.  We knew it was a three-staged surgery procedure, and the Fontan seemed so far away.  Here we are in February of 2010 and we are preparing for her third and final surgery.

Others who have asked get a glazed look on their faces or hold their breaths when we talk about her surgery, but we have already accepted her path and are ready for it.  It is a necessity, yet a miracle that we are so fortunate enough to be able to witness.

As the sun set over the harbor, we headed to my favorite spot, Fleet Landing, for an early dinner and then to Market street for everyone’s favorite, River Street Sweets, for pralines and rock candy!

2010 THA Valentine’s Dance

Valentine's Dance 2010 I

THA held another school-wide Valentine’s Dance on Thursday, Feb 11 during school.  It is such a neat event and I love seeing all ages dancing together!  3K-8th graders and faculty all gather in the gym and dance and have the best time!

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My big six-year-old!

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A little bit softer now…

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Put your hands up…

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Daddy stopped by for a father/daughter dance with McCanless.

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The girls in 5K thought they would teach Ms. Susie a few moves!

Not Funny…

Daddy!  Especially since we both know that we purchased a LiveStrong treadmill just last weekend to get rid of those extra LB’s.  (Further proof that we are not planning on another addition-baby or room, for that matter.)   My mother, who is as easy to belive something like this story as she is to play a joke on, still thinks that I’m pregnant, I’m certain.  (This is no joke, mom.)  Furthermore, it doesn’t help that I asked her to pick-up McCanless from school today because I have an appointment with my doctor.  My OB/GYN, nonetheless.  So again, I’ll state:  I’m NOT pregnant or forsee us having another baby EVER.

I wish I could somehow block Mel from posting on MY blog or altering/adding to my entries.  (Remember?  You have your own, sweetie.)  However, he is the creator, designer, technical HTML writer person and he is the father of my TWO precious girls, and does take part in their lives, so I guess I’m outnumbered on this one.  So thanks for your two cents, Mel.

Now, moving right along…

For the record… Updated by Daddy.

**This version has been updated by daddy.  It is possible that mommy won’t read this for a few more hours so enjoy.

I know my sweet McCanless has a vivid imagination, not solely noticed by her mother, either.  It was no surprise to me that her teacher noted her love of storytelling, and creative and mature writing ability on her report card for first semester.  I have also discovered along the way she has a knack for embellishing the truth, so to speak.  “She gets this honestly” –Daddy

Her first “horrid” blue frog in school (and only I may add) was due to a little white lie to her teacher.  It was full of details and “embellishments” which only dug her hole deeper and deeper and turned her little white lie into a big old fat lie, to which Mel later replied, “what kid doesn’t lie to their teacher?”  GASP!  Needless to say, I handled the life lesson and character education with this one!  A lesson only learned by experience, though.  Lesson learned.  Or so I thought.

Today, I received a few emails and one phone call wishing me congratulations and for the record…

I am not pregnant.

“Not yet.” –Daddy

I am not planning, thinking about, contemplating, dreaming about or hope to be pregnant or become pregnant in the near or distant future.

“Daddy just has to produce another bedroom and bathroom according to mommy to qualify for having another baby.  1 baby = $50,000 addition? ” –Daddy

Apparently, McCanless’ hope for a new baby sister has extended far beyond our household.  For a while now, she has been begging me to have her a baby sister and I thought that is where it ended.  Today, however, I discovered that she has told each of her teachers at school that I am expecting.  Her classroom teacher, Ms. Susie, heard all of the details of our plans for adding Marcy, her baby sister, to our family, right down to where little Marcy will sleep.

“Daddy had nothing to do with this.  Honestly.” –Daddy

Ms. Crouch, the librarian even sent me an email to congratulate me on our great news.  I have since received a phone call and two emails from other parents in our school about our newest addition.  I figure, McCanless has about 25 friends in both 5K classes, so that means It will only take about 2 hours for word to spread around town to Mel.  I thought I’d tackle it here first and wait for Mel to approach me about it later.

“I’m clueless, trust me.” –Daddy

We’ll see how he handles her little white lie this time.

“White lie? Possibly… A little coaching from daddy? Most definitely.  I’ll keep you updated on our progress.  Until then I’m taking donations for that addition.” –Daddy

The Blizzard of 2010

Snow 2010 IV

Friday around lunch time, I had the car all packed and ready to hit the road to the beach for a weekend out of town. The girls were bundled up and we were on our way…then a Southern blizzard hit Hartsville.   With such “severe” conditions, we decided to stay home and enjoy the snow here, at home!

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…and we are so glad we did!

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Mary Clare, however, is like her mother and was not a huge fan of the snow.

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Snow 2010 with Daddy

Daddy just couldn’t help himself…He loves throwing snowballs!

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We don’t really have proper snow gear, but it was fun to see our family of winter boots drying out by the fire at the end of the night.

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…and what a view we had the next morning!!

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Emmie loved running in the snow, and even fell into the lake!

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Daddy was at it again!

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After Daddy knocked her down a few dozen times, she was ready to go back inside!

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So we made snow cream!!  Yum!

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Not bad for a weekend stuck at home, huh?

Although the snow was beautiful and temporary we are ready for flip flops and swim suits.  (Good thing our trip to St. John is less than a month away!)

Happy Congenital Heart Defects Awareness Day 2010

CHD Awareness Day 2010

I didn’t post picutres of my sweet Mary Clare in the hospital after her first open heart surgery.  I was just too afraid to share that with the world on her blog. I barely took any photos, for that matter.  I didn’t even post.  Mel wrote all of the updates at MUSC for a while.  I was focusing only on her and I really couldn’t tell you why I didn’t want to post or take photos.  It was hard enough to remember to breathe.

I did post one sweet photo of her on the day before her surgery so that many of our friends and family could see her for the first time.  I didn’t realize at the time that it would be the only photo of her precious body without the battle scars of multiple open heart surgeries.  A few months later when I printed all of her MUSC photos and I was putting together a book/journal of her heart journey, I sat on the floor in front of my album, holding her and that one photo of her without her scar.  Only one single photo shows her perfect and precious body.  I cried and cried, knowing that she was marked forever.  A scarlet letter adorning her chest.   A constant reminder of her broken heart and this very difficult journey of life for her.

Then, I didn’t realize how much that one little scar would change all of us.  It certainly is a constant reminder of many things.  Now, however, I choose to see the beauty in that scar, for without it, I wouldn’t have my sweet, sweet miracle.  It reminds me of all that is precious in our lives.  It reminds me to thank God for every moment.

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July 1, 2007

Mary Clare without her precious scar.

CHD Awareness Week 2010

I always try to get a cute shot of my blueberry for her annual CHD Awareness Day Photo proudly displaying her battle scars.

Saturday CHD Shot II

Sounds easy, and it would be if

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my little blueberry would only pause

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even for  a moment.

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But then again,

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this only reminds me of how blessed we are

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to have such a spunky fighter.

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Oh, how we adore that spirit and that scar!

Preaching to the choir

Church is always a joyous event for us.  An Episcopal service with weekly communion can get pretty long for children, but I really don’t worry about the girls.  Our church family knows my girls and Mel, for that matter, and understands us.  (Or so I hope.)  Sometimes, we get the giggles, usually, because of Mary Clare.  Today, however, McCanless and I didn’t have Mary Clare to blame.  It was early in the service and she was still in the nursery.  McCanless decided to stay with me instead of going to children’s chapel; so it was just the two of us there in our usual pew, right in front, right under Father Michael.  We were reading the program and I was having her follow along with the words as I pointed to each one.  We sang, “Holy, Holy, Holy Lord, God of power and might…”  McCanless began to belt out giggles.  Loud, contagious giggles. She couldn’t help herself.  It truly was one of those non-stop, involuntary laughs.  As I whispered and questioned her, she said, “I know it isn’t right, but we just said that Jesus has holes.”

I just couldn’t help myself as I, too, began to laugh and I just so happened to notice a few choir members laughing along with us.

Saturday Randomness…

Friday afternoon, I met my sister in Camden for the swap.  The girls went with Kacy and William to the circus and spent the night in Columbia, so Mel and I were able to have date night again this weekend!  We went to the usual, Bow Thai, on Friday evening and enjoyed going to the Market downtown Saturday morning kid-free.

Saturday Market Place

As Mel was stopped by every other person to chat business, city or politics, I left him so I could enjoy the soup cook-off.  I also bought my usual stock of cheeses from Ovis Hill Farms. Mel headed to work and I headed to get the girls.

Saturday Dizzy I

After lunch, I took McCanless and Mary Clare to a Coker basketball game, where Dizzy Petites made their Hartsville Hip Hop debut at half-time of the girls game.

Saturday Dizzy II

The girl loves to perform.

Saturday Drawers

This girl loves to change clothes.  (…and costumes, and bathing suits, and her sister’s clothes, and pajamas and panties at least 10 times a day.  At least.)

Saturday Hot Dog

Later that afternoon, the girls wanted a snack, so we stuffed a few noodles through hot dogs…

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See?

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Well,

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we stuffed them before we cooked them.   Obviously.  A neat little trick I read about in a Family Fun magazine.

Saturday MC Dancing III

Mary Clare decided it was her turn to have a performance with a live audience.  She placed us, along with a few of her dolls, on the floor of my bedroom to watch her dance.

Saturday MC Dancing I

Her new signature move.

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Saturday MC Princess

After another quick costume change…

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…to match her princess doll, she was ready to move on and play mommy.

Saturday Earrings I

…and McCanless cried again when she remembered how much longer she has until she can change her earrings.  Which reminds me about her Groundhog Day experience… 

She surprisingly jumped out of bed on Groundhog Day eager to watch the news, somthing she has never done.  When she realized that none of the news channels would let her know the status of the official groundhog, so early I asked her why she was so concerned.  She simply had to know if he would see his shadow, even before dawn.  I told her Ms. Susie would let her know as soon as possible.  As we drove to school, I had to explain that even if he left his home and Spring would supposedly come sooner, it could still be a while.  It was all in fun, I explained.   She immediately burst into sobs and screams.  “I thought Spring would be today!  Then I could change my earrings.  I hate that Groundhog.”  Apparently, I told her that she would be able to change her earrings when the weather began to warm up.   And apparently if the Groundhog brought us a sooner Spring, it would begin that day, or so she thought.

Saturday M&Ms

Saturday night, Mel came running into the door from work at 7pm to jump in the shower for the Women’s League of Hartsville’s annual auction, in which he was the host and auctioneer.  (It started at 7)  I don’t worry about it any more.  I just put on my cocktail dress and wait.  I’ve learned.  This year was his 6th.  Nonnie came over to keep the girls and brought these fabulous pink and purple M&M’s with the girls’ faces on them!  What a Valentine’s treat!  We watched Cheetah Girls and ate popcorn and M&M’s with Nonnie until Daddy was ready to run back out of the door.  We had a fun night and Mel, as usual, was great.

Accessorize!

Accessorize I

Dreaming of warm sunsets…

Sunset January 2010

just like those we enjoyed merely two days ago.

Today, during the “severe” weather watch that only the South shuts down for, we are watching the rain fall, wind blow and ice form on the  tips of the branches of Cypress trees.  No ice on the roads just yet, but we have hunkered down for the weekend.  Mel and I ventured out to dinner at Bow Thai and then to Wal-Mart last night to prepare for the severe weather while our girls enjoyed movie night at First Baptist Church.  We stocked up on Moon Sand, movies and munchies.  (Along with the rest of Hartsville, who inevitably stocks up on bread and milk at even the remote possibility of ice.)

Daddy left for work early, so today, so far, the girls’ team has enjoyed a late and large breakfast, created a Moon Sand castle, roller skated around the house at least 300 times, made chocolate frozen banana pops, ate popcorn for lunch, have had two dance parties and have watched at least a dozen iCarly episodes. (Is iCarly always on Nick?)  It isn’t often that we are home for more than a two hour stretch, so I’ve still got some planning to do, as it is only 2pm.  Maybe a nap is in store for us.

Hopefully after our severe weather weekend, we’ll enjoy more 60-70ish weather once again!   Until then…

Outside I

Outside II

Outside III

Outside IV

Outside V

She did it!

Saturday afternoon, as Mary Clare, McCanless and I were hand-in-hand skipping out of Magnolia Mall, it hit me.  I realized that I had just experienced a major rite of passage with my oldest daughter.  McCanless did it.  She got her ears pierced.  I was in tears as I looked down at my big six- year- old smiling like a Cheshire cat.  I had no idea I would be so emotional.  I didn’t feel quite so weird when we later called my sister and she also cried upon hearing the news…

It was a beautiful sunny day and the girls team decided to put those Christmas gift cards to good use and go shopping.  A few shops later, we were in line at Target and McCanless looked at me with a sly grin.   “Mom,  I want to go get my ears pierced.”

I nearly fainted.  She has wanted real earrings for a while now, even going so far as to wear magnetic and stick-on earrings daily, but wouldn’t dare put herself through the pain of the real deal.  I told her after her sixth birthday she could do it.  But still, she refused and said she would never, ever, ever really have her ears pierced,  so it came as a huge surprise that she seemed ready.

We immediately took off for Claire’s boutique in the mall.  I didn’t have my camera,  Mary Clare was in dire need of a nap and we only had 20 minutes until I had to be home for a party with Daddy.   I knew we would have lots of consideration and contemplation to do.  This is McCanless we’re talking about.  Lots to do in little time.  I was skeptical.  We walked in as another little girl was in the piercing chair.  Great.  As soon as the little girl began to scream I knew we would be leaving soon.  No ears pierced.  I told McCanless we could go home.  No big deal.  (Actually, after seeing the little girl scream, I didn’t really want McCanless to have it done.  My heart ached as I knew she would soon feel the same pain. ) I encouraged her to wait a while.  Maybe even bring Daddy with us next time. Later. Maybe in a month.  Or two.  This summer, even.

I think it was the allure of the shiny, sparkly earrings all around her, but she was more determined than ever.  She chose “diamonds” and it was over in a matter of minutes.  My baby girl cried for a moment and a diamond-studded big girl emerged  from the hot pink vinyl chair eager to see herself in the mirror.

Immediately, Mary Clare threw herself in a rage onto the floor screaming to have her ears pierced, too.

McCanless perused the big hoop section and chose a multi pack of pink, purple and turquoise hoops.  I had to.  I couldn’t tell her that after going through all of that, that mom and dad had a few rules about types of earrings.    We’ll get to that later.

So my big girl has her ears pierced.  I have no photos of the monumental event, but I will never, ever forget the smile on her face, bursting with excitement, as she looked in the mirror for the first time to see her beautiful “diamond” earrings.


Just another Friday…

Last night, as we were going through our usual bedtime routine, Mary Clare decided to spice things up a bit.  McCanless was already in her bed asleep at 8 pm.  (She has strep throat, by the way, which is the only reason she would be in the bed asleep at such an hour.)  I plopped Mary Clare up onto the counter as I do every night.  She had her juice in one hand and her paci in the other.  I turned my back to grab her syringe for her Blood Pressure medication, which happened to be sitting beside her.  We have done this twice a day for her entire life.  She takes 2 ml’s of her Enalapril.  Once in the morning and once at night.  In the split second that I was grabbing the syringe, I heard her sucking on her sippy cup, or so I thought. I turned around and she had the bottle of Enalapril turned up.

Funny, I didn’t panic.  I’m not sure if it is just my personality or that I’m so used to unexpected events in my household after having three high maintenance people living with me.  It also helped that I remembered one of my heart mom friends, Maddie‘s mom, from Washington State, telling me about her daughter who had an over-dosage of her BP med for a couple of weeks.  (Pharmacy’s fault, but she was fine, thank goodness.)  So that gave me some comfort, I’m sure.

Nonetheless, I grabbed the phone to call Mel, who was at a city function.  I couldn’t get him so I called MUSC….and long story short, we ended up going to our local hospital to be monitored for four hours.  (Well, I wasn’t monitored.  Mary Clare was monitored.)  All was fine.  Her BP did drop pretty low, but not low enough for intervention. The nurses were more concerned about her “low” oxygen levels because they were in the upper 70’s.  I had to explain numerous times that her O2 wasn’t our concern.  This was about her BP.  Upper 70’s are fine for her, especially when she was sleeping!  Such is life with a heart kiddo.

So today, we’re home.  Vegging right now.  McCanless is ill because I won’t allow her to skate through the house (sick, remember?) and I took Mary Clare to school for a couple of hours to get out of the house.  She certainly hasn’t been acting like her BP is running low.  Quite the contrary.  She was running circles around McCanless this morning and begged me to take her to the park at 8 AM despite our late night rendezvous.  So, pre-school it was!

Life is back to normal.  McCanless is fussing.   Mary Clare is happily blue.  Mel is filming some local television interview and I’m tired and thankful.  And happy.

Lesson learned.

IMG_0325

IMG_0326

My sweetheart in her princess pj’s fast asleep at the hospital.  Even the constant BP cuff squeezes and the beeping of the pulse oximeter going berserk over her “low” levels didn’t arouse sleeping beauty.

Sisters 0

From the moment she met her baby sister,

Sisters 0-1

McCanless has amazed me with her constant understanding

Sisters 8

and love for Mary Clare.

Sisters 3

She has been a loving,

Sisters 5

fun,

Sisters 7

patient,

Sisters 9

and trusting big sister.

Sisters 10

Mary Clare thinks McCanless hung the moon,

Big sister

and simply adores her.

Sisters tub

I am so thankful they have each other,

First Day of 2K for MC

and that I have them.

Sisters 11

I pledge…

6th Birthday Skate Party 2010

Skate Party 1

Glow bracelets, disco ball necklaces, a little duck shooting, and lots of roller derby pals made for an awesome 6th birthday party for McCanless!

Skate Party

Skate party 3

I may have to pass the torch.  My little rising party planner told me exactly what she wanted and even designed her cake.  I took her to CJ’s and she told the cake designer every detail, down to the disco ball on top!

Skate Party 2

It was a family affair.   Mel made a Roller Derby Mix CD for everyone as party favors.  (Some didn’t burn correctly for CD players, like mine, so if you need another, please call me! It is a great mix.)

Skate Party 4

Roller Derby Princess

Skate Party 25

Mommy, McCanless and Daddy

Skate Party 5

Michael, Reese and Michael

Skate Party friends

Skate Party 6

Kaitlin, Zara and McCanless

Skate Party 7

Ashleigh and Connor

Skate Party Cake

Skate Party 8

Bapa and Mimi

Skate Party 9

Skate Party 10

Skate Party 11

Skate Party 13

Skate party 12

Skate party opening gifts

Skate Party pizza

Skate Party Pizza 2

Skate Party 14

Lots-a skate mammas!

Skate Party 15

Skate Party 16

…and Daddys

Skate Party 20

Skate Party Dad

Skate Baby

..and one skate baby!

Skate Party 17

William and Mary Clare

Skate Party 18

Aunt Liz and Rosie

Skate Party 19

Baby brother, Alston…Derby King

Skate Party 21

Skate Party 22

Skate Party 23

Skate Party 24

Skate Party 27

Skate Party 28

Skate party last

Skate Party last 2

Happy Birthday, my sweet six year old.

January 5, 2010

So how did my now six-year-old spend her birthday this year?  January 5, 2010 was the first day back to school after Christmas break, so she  couldn’t wait to share the good news of her birthday with her classmates.  She jumped out of bed that morning eager to begin her birthday.  With 30 white-frosted, pink-sprinkled cupcakes in tow, her day began as she was dubbed the classroom princess, so she says.  She was morning board leader, line leader and even received flowers from Nonnie at school.

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 1

After dance class that afternoon, we did what we always do on birthdays.

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 2

We headed to Los Tres for a birthday dinner, Mexican style!  (I will have to say that she is her father’s daughter.  I offered the choice of Chuck E. Cheese with the four of us (Mommy, Daddy, MC and McCanless) or Mexican with anyone else who could make it on a last minute notice.)  She loves celebrating with a crowd.  So, Los Tres it was!

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 3

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 7

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 8

Mary Clare, donning one of McCanless’ gifts, a party dress, spent the evening bargaining with grandparents for quarters for the tatoo and gumball machines.

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 4

McCanless loves new clothes!

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 6

McCanless' 6th birthday Day 5

Happy Birthday-Day, McCanless!

They say we’re young and we don’t know.

I got you 7

We won’t find out until we grow.

I got you 3

Well I don’t know if that’s all true,

I got you 6

’cause you got me and baby I got you.

I got you 5

Babe.

I got you 2

I got you babe.

I got you 1

I got you babe.

I got you 4

Like a ton of bricks…

So, it hit me today as I was watching a Jif peanut butter commercial. (Which is ironic in itself; I never watch television. I just happened to turn on the television in the kitchen as I was eating a bowl of cereal for lunch.) A teenager in college received a care package from her mother. She was calling to thank her for the comfort food and love from home. The mom answered the phone and said, “Hi college girl.” That’s when it hit me. In ten years, McCanless will probably have narrowed down her college choices. At 16, I was entering my junior year of high school, I thought I knew everything and was on a one way track to USC. I thought of the experiences I lived through, thank goodness, and thought of all that I had in front of me at that point in life, with so much to learn. McCanless will be there in 10 years. 10 years is not a long time AT ALL. I was in tears again as I thought, “Then Mary Clare is only three years behind her.”

Peanut Butter

Am I crazy?

Okay, so I know she is only six, but still I’m a mom. I want my babies with me forever. My tune may change as my “babies” grow into teenagers. For now, though, I wish I could freeze time and keep them with me always. I love the midnight sounds down the hallway when I realize that I’ll soon have an additional snuggle partner. (I find it fun to guess who it actually is. A thud and hard, slow steps and a pillow dragging behind mean McCanless is on her way. Quiet and quick pitter-patter foreshadows my youngest baby girl who will inevitably ask for juice as soon as she climbs into bed.) I love taking McCanless to school with me and love that she is proud to walk down the hallway hand-in-hand with her mother for now. And if only Mary Clare’s complete trust in me and belief that I, as her mother, can fix anything would last forever. I know so much of this will change, but I’ve got my fingers crossed. (We can always buy a king sized bed as they grow taller, right?)

I’ve found that I love each phase of our lives more and more as the years pass. I can’t imagine having more love and more fun with my little family than I do right now, so I can’t to see what is in store for us! Hopefully, I won’t have to face anymore peanut butter commercials any time soon.

Happy Birthday, My Sweet McCanless

McCanless 6th Birthday 1

1 month old

McCanless 6th Birthday 2

1 year old

McCanless 6th Birthday 3

2 years old

McCanless 6th Birthday 4

3 years old

McCanless 6th Birthday age 4

4 years old

McCanless 6th Birthday age 5

5 years old

McCanless age 6

Almost Six

Little Sister…

…is really into two things right now.

MC Makeup I

Bathing suits

MC Makeup 3

and anything big sister is really into…

MC Makeup 2

Pink Barbie Make-up, for example.

01.01.10 almost…

fireworks

Mel, Mary Clare and I enjoyed a not-so-quiet* dinner out tonight and are now tucked into pj’s with full bellies watching the fire in the fireplace waiting on the ball to drop.  My kind of New Year’s Celebration.  We passed up a couple of invitations to ring in twenty-ten with friends, but opted for a quiet, lazy evening with family. McCanless would have been a part of our small celebration, but being my little social one, decided to go with the Forts to her idea of heaven on earth, The Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC.  (An overnight lodge/indoor water park)     *Mary Clare has decided that singing at the top of her lungs any and everywhere is her thing.

2009 proved to be more exciting, crazier and full of more laughs than any year so far for us.  We are loving our life and can’t wait to see what 2010 holds!

Happy New Year, Friends!

The youngest Pennington Princess…

Being two can be so tough sometimes…

Testing Tutu Twirl-ability…

By the way, Aunt Liz is getting married on St. John’s island in March!! (Which is the reason for Mary Clare’s new bathing suit!)

Christmas Day 2009

What a fun Christmas we had this year!  McCanless and Mary Clare had their wish lists prepared and mailed off early and Santa did not disappoint!  McCanless was so excited this year and even improved her calendar skills as she learned to read our calendar while crossing off every day in December until the “Big Day!”  On Christmas Eve, she awoke, ran around the house twice, and marched into the kitchen with a puzzled look on her face.  She slung open the pantry door (where I keep my calendar) and proclaimed, “HE FORGOT TO COME!”  I had to explain that although we have been counting down to Christmas Eve, Santa doesn’t come until that night, and presents wouldn’t show up until the morning of Christmas day.   She stopped and half-giggled and told me that only for a minute was she worried that she may have been placed on the naughty list.  “Only for  minute,” was she worried.

Along with calendar skills, I think we learned a bit about patience.

LMP Santa Gifts

Santa worked hard on McCanless’ one-of-a-kind, pink, polka-dot television! (A very specifically detailed item on her Christmas list!)

MBP Santa Gifts

Christmas Morning I

Mary Clare went straight for the pink, princess toddler skates!  She has worn them every day since Christmas!

Christmas Morning II

Mary Clare was so excited and had to try out every single gift as she opened it.  She would open a gift and play with it until I urged her to open another.

Christmas Morning III

…costumes, costumes, shoes, costumes, costumes, more shoes….

Christmas Morning IV

No, McCanless didn’t have an elf pierce her ears!  Santa left her the most beautiful and “kinda real, but not really” magnetic earrings!  (Another very specific request!)

Christmas Morning V

…pink polka dots, pink pj’s, pink Barbies, pink crowns, pink outfits, pink make-up, pink earrings, pink jewelry…

Christmas Morning VI

Santa can’t take credit for Mel’s big surprise.  Papa and BB gave Mel this Sony TV on Christmas Eve, but he couldn’t stand it.  He had to break it out and set it up on Christmas morning with all of the excitement going on!

Nonnie's House II

We headed over to Nonnie’s house for lunch.

Nonnie's House I

Mary Clare was peeking into her box of Bitty Baby twins that Nonnie and Bubba gave her.

Nonnie's House VI

Nonnie's House III

We spent a very relaxing day eating and napping all afternoon!

Nonnie's House IV

Nonnie's House V

Merry Christmas 2009!

Santa 2009

Christmas Eve 2009

Christmas Eve I

5:00 Service at St. Bartholomew’s was just as beautiful as ever!

Christmas Eve II

The girls wanted to pose with Baby Jesus, and who am I to stop them?

Christmas Eve III

Then on to BB and PaPa’s house for dinner!

Christmas Eve IV

Christmas Eve V

…and lots of fun!

Christmas Eve VI

Christmas Eve VII

BB's House

Christmas Eve VIII

After dinner and gifts, we hit the road to see all of Hartsville’s finest Christmas Lights!  (The entire Pennington crew in the funeral home limo, of course, listening to Disney’s Classic Christmas tunes, aka, The Orange Disney Tape!)

Christmas Eve IX

Once we were home, the girls, very carefully, spread their reindeer food on the front lawn.  (In one big nice clump right at the front door steps!)

Night Night on Christmas Eve

finally the girls were nestled, all snug in their beds!

The Countdown to Christmas…

Along with the many parades, parties and programs this month…

St. Barts Party I

…on the days before Christmas, we partied at Church while wrapping gifts for needy families….

St. Barts Party II

…and crafted lots of new and sparkly ornaments….

St. Barts Party III

…and had birthday cake for Jesus!

Forts Playdate I

We had a gingerbread-decorating, costume-changing, microphone-singing, wild and crazy playdate with the Fort girls.

Forts Playdate II

Evans's House I

We decorated sugar cookies at the Evans’s house on Christmas Eve!

Evans's House II

Cookies at the Evans's Ellis

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas 2009We hope your Christmas is as sweet as ours!

A very special day!

Communion Sunday I

Communion Sunday II

Last Sunday, December 20, 2009, Mary Clare participated in the Holy Eucharist!  She has been asking for several months if she can take “munion” with us.  We spoke to Father Michael about it and remembered that McCanless also had her first communion at 2 1/2, on Father’s Day in 2006.  He is a firm believer in allowing children to participate, especially when they show an interest, and allowing them, as baptized Christians, the right to this very important Holy Sacrament.  She kneeled, held her little hands out (barely over the chancel rail) to take the wafer, and did exactly as she was told.  She was still chewing when the Chalice came around, so we passed on the wine.  I think I’ll continue to allow her to pass on that for a while.

I was so proud and it was such a beautiful moment.  What a miracle the Holy Communion is and what a miracle that Mary Clare is alive and well and able to celebrate Christ in this way.

I didn’t get photos before, during or after church, but we were there for a Christmas party that evening, so I snapped a couple of quick photos of the girls in our beautiful church after the party!

Mel had a trunk clothing show for Pennington & Bailes at Brittons in Columbia today and he took the girls with him! Although it was a fabulously quiet day for me  and I was able to get lots of much needed Christmas shopping and wrapping done, this is how he brought Mary Clare back home to me….

My little Blueberry I

My little Blueberry II

McCanless blames the turquoise marker in the car.  Mel blames my sister, Kacy, who played with them all afternoon.   Mary Clare said that Daddy made her do it.  I still haven’t gotten the whole story.  All I know is that it took a lot of soap and a lot of scrubbing to make sure she didn’t have a blueberry face for church tomorrow morning!

Gingerbread Decorating at THA

Gingerbread decorating at THA I

Gingerbread decorating at THA II

Gingerbread decorating at THA IIIjpg

Dizzy Dancin’ Winter Show-Offs!

These are photos I took before Winter Show-Offs…I forgot my camera!  Mary Clare enjoyed movie night at her pre-school; so I was really able to enjoy watching the dancers instead of chasing Miss Priss around the entire time!  I watched McCanless dance in her hip hop routine, Petite Jazz number and the Company Production routine!  I was so proud.  She did such a great job!

Dizzy Dancer I

Dizzy Dancer II

Ms. Sheila snapped this photo of my little dancer and me before the show!

Mommy and Cannie at Winter Show Offs

A Baby Pennington dot com secret for your eyes only!

Mel asked me to let you in on a little secret, seeing that you all are such loyal fans of our two babypenningtons and all. If you go to www.stadiumpants.com and make a purchase, enter HALF in the coupon code box during checkout and guess what you”ll get?  Half off any Pennington & Bailes merchandise!  Merry Christmas from Mel.

Just a few new tidbits…

Christmas news…McCanless and Mary Clare’s Christmas elf, Elfy, now wears a beautiful snowflake skirt especially made for elves!  (Thanks so much Aunt Liz!)   I just knew McCanless would love the new accessory and be thrilled to learn that her elf is a girl.  As soon as she saw it, very dryly said, “Mom.  Elfy has on a skirt.  I guess he is a Tom Girl.”

Sorry for the delay in our annual family Christmas card.  Let me explain….Mel, being the new Hartsville Mayor, decided that he needed to add “a few” people to my address list.  I knew what “a few” could mean, so I decided to hand over the reins and let him take over.  (He actually has worked on it a bit…You saw his first unapproved draft in a recent post.)   If you know Mel at all, you know that his brain doesn’t think in numbers at all.  Time, money and numbers, like “a few” are terminology in an abstract science for Mel.  Bapa calls it “Mel Math.”  I’m afraid that McCanless has inherited his right-brain”ness,” and inherent math skills.  So, we’ll see when and if our cards get out.  We may be sending New Year’s Cards!

We have been super busy with church, shopping, gingerbread decorating and everything Christmas!  Mary Clare has enjoyed rearranging our Christmas tree each and every day and is super excited about her visit from Santa.  She wants pink presents and anything she can think of at that moment.  She’ll often see a gift in a store and look up at me and say, “Mom, Santa will bring me that?  Okay?”  More like a statement-question.  McCanless has asked for a pink television with turquoise polka dots, sick on earrings that “look like real earrings,” make-up, sequin tank-tops and many, many Barbie’s and accessories.  (I have no idea where she gets this from! Honestly.)  We have written our letters to Santa, but we still need to take them to the Santa Express Mail box down town.

Potty News…Mel decided, after persuasion from his youngest, chubby-cheeked daughter, that it would be a great idea for her to wear her brand new, pink, flower panties to school.  Without a training diaper! It probably would have been a good idea to let someone else know, but Miss MC has let us in on a little secret of hers.  She CAN do it.   When I picked her up at 12, the teachers let me know that they realized she was without a diaper around 10:30 or so, and mentioned that it just may be a good idea for Mel to let them know next time.  (Although he forgot to let them know once again yesterday.)   But she did it!  She is turning into McCanless more and more every day!  When she wears her panties, she knows not to go!  My little stinker.

Hope you all are having just as much fun as we are this season!

What happens when Daddy is in charge of the family Christmas card…

christmasdoesntsuck

Which is why Daddy has been relieved of his duties for planning the family Christmas card this year…

and every other year from now on.

Is this not the cutest…

little Mexican Snowman you have ever seen?

It may be the only little Mexican Snowman you have ever seen, too!  McCanless’ 5K class represented Mexico in the THA Christmas musical and sang “Frosty, the Snowman” in Spanish.

DSC_0289

The theme of the musical was “Around the World at Christmas Time” and it really got me into the Christmas Spirit.  Especially when the entire student body encircled the audience and sang “We are the World” hand in hand.

Christmas Program 2009-2

Christmas Program 2009-3

Hartsville Christmas Parade

Grand Marshal 1

Grand Marshal 2

Grand Marshal 3

PaPa got right in the middle of the street to get these shots!

2009 Hartsville Christmas Parade and Tree Lighting

Daddy's Parade

As co-chairman of the Hartsville Christmas parade, Mel had to get up super early to get ready for the  big day.

Daddy's Parade 2

Once we loaded McCanless up onto the Dizzy Dancin’ float, we hit the road as Mel (as Mayor) was Grand Marshal of the Parade.

Parade Mel and MC

Mel and Mary Clare leading the pack of floats, bands, horses, and Christmas hoopla.  It was so much fun!

Parade Mel and MC 2

Once we were nearing the end of the parade route, Mary Clare and I detoured off course to stand and watch the parade, specifically waiting for our dancing McCanless!

Parade Reese and MC watching

Reese and Mary Clare

Parade Reese and MC hugging

Parade McCanless dancing

There she is, dancing her little heart out!

Parade Family shot

Michael, Grandmother, Nonnie, McCanless, MC, Me, Michael and Reese

Michael and Michael

Michael, Michael and Reese

Family Shot 1

Almost everybody…

Grandmother, PaPa, Mary Clare, me, McCanless, Mel, Michael, Michael, Reese, Kathryn, and BB

Parade in Ruths 2

It has become somewhat of a family tradition to eat lunch at Ruth’s after the Christmas parade, so that’s exactly what we did!

Parade in Ruths 3

Parade in Ruths Mel's Special

Two Mel’s Specials in more ways than one!

Parade in Ruths Mom and MC

Mommy and Baby MC!

Tree Lighting Movie

That same evening was the Hartsville Christmas tree lighting with Polar Express in Burry Park.  (Yup, another one of Mel’s events.) Everyone bundled up, brought lawn chairs and blankets and snuggled together in the park.

Tree Lighting Movie 2

It was great, but, unfortunately, was one of the coldest nights we have had in South Carolina in a very long time!

Tree Lighting Movie 3

That didn’t seem to bother Mary Clare much at all despite her blue lips and purple hands!

Tree Lighting Movie 4

McCanless sat entranced at the Polar Express.  It was truly magical on such a huge screen with the music echoing throughout the park.

Tree Lighting MC and Hot Coco

“Mary Clare, what do you think about everyone fussing over this cold weather?”

Tree Lighting Bapa

Bapa and McCanless looking at the Christmas tree

Tree LightingKacy and MC

Kacy and Mary Clare

Tree Lighting Family with Santa

Merry Christmas 2009

Tree Lighting Bapa Reading

A perfect end to a perfect day.  Bapa read his favorite Christmas book to the girls, The Christmas Cookie Sprinkle Snitcher.

Two Christmas Hams…

Playing around the tree 1

Playing around the tree 2

Ham 1

Playing around the tree 3

Ham 2

Playing around the tree 4

Ham 1

Playing around the tree 7

Ham 2

Playing around the tree 6

Ham 1

Playing around the tree 5

Ham 2

You get the picture.

Whatever McCanless is doing, Miss MC must do, no matter what.

Surprise

Daddy's Birthday 1

Dadd's Birthday 2

Daddy's Birthday 3

A few decorations, pizza and crowns, of course, make for a superb 34th Birthday Party! Don’t you agree?

Status of potty training, you ask?

Potty Training Status1

What potty training?  Mary Clare is far more interested in finding the appropriate potty accessories than actually going potty.

Potty Training Status 2

So, no one mentioned to me that what works for one of your children may not quite work as well with another, despite the fact that they derived from the same gene pool.  McCanless was a breeze.  I bought princess panties and that was that.  She was trained before she was two.  No trouble.  No whoops.  No fuss.  I didn’t even try with her, and I have just assumed that the same “technique” would work for Miss Mary Clare.

Potty Training Status 3

I was wrong.

I think I may have to actually work on a plan of attack because, clearly, she has no desire to ever use the potty for what it is intended.   Any suggestions before I begin Potty Boot Camp?

We’ll not even mention the paci.  Okay?

Happy 34th Birthday Daddy!

Birthday-Candles

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to Daddy!

Happy Birthday to You!

P.S. We have another very important birthday approaching!!

McCanless will be S-I-X on January 5, 2010!

Save the date!  We’ll celebrate and skate!!

Party on 01.10.10   4-5:30

We’re Ready!!

We broke out the mugs and marshmallows last night to officially kick-off the Christmas season!

Hot Chocolate

My little sweetheart loved her very first taste of hot chocolate.  Big surprise.

Small Tree I

We decorated mommy’s One Eared Cow tree…

Big Tree I

…and the big tree with Daufuskie ornaments, Baby’s First Christmas Ornaments from 1975, 1977, 2004 and 2007, and Annabelle’s Bow

Big Tree II

…and reminisced about Halloweens past

Vegas Ornament

…and places we’ve been…

First Birthday ornament

…and first birthday parties

Charleston Basket

…our beloved Charleston

Big Tree III

…and today, Elfy made his grand appearance!

McCanless’ Perfectly Pink Christmas Tree

It’s not only that McCanless decorated this tree entirely on her own, gathering and specifically choosing each ornament from our big boxes of ornaments…

McCanless' Christmas Tree 2

that makes this tree the most beautiful in the house…

McCanless' Christmas Tree 3

or that it boasts bright silver, pink, gold, sparkly and princess ornaments.

McCanless' Christmas Tree 4

What makes this tree so unique and beautiful is that McCanless didn’t mind if each ornament wasn’t perfectly spaced, carefully “matched.”

McCanless' Christmas Tree 5

The star, which was really an ornament, worked beautifully as a star on top, as she saw more appropriate.

McCanless' christmas tree 1

…and the clusters of sparkling balls clumped together all on single branches of her pink tree couldn’t have been more perfectly placed.

Party in the USA!

Party in the USA 1

On Saturday, we met up with Eliza and her family for lunch at the Rooster and we all hit the road to Columbia for the Miley Cyrus concert!!  McCanless was so excited and took all morning to find the perfect outfit.  She ended up with a pink Miley t-shirt, jeans with a black and silver sequin skirt and her pink chucks.  She wanted me to use Mary Clare’s pinkalicious hair gel to make pink streaks in her hair and she wore a sequin flower headband.

Party in the USA 2

Once we arrived in Columbia, found our parking spots and the girls bought Miley t-shirts (and changed immediately), we all walked through the Vista and enjoyed ice-cream cones.  The girls were so excited and so ready for Miley!

Party in the USA 3

When we got to the Colonial Life Arena and were escorted through the building and bypassing all lines to our suite, the girls thought they were “back stage” special guests of Miley.   Aunt Liz thoroughly spoiled McCanless by finding box seating for our whole crew!  It was wonderful!  I don’t think McCanless will ever want to do “normal” again when it comes to concerts!  I’m afraid this may be her “normal” from now on…

Party in the USA 4

Suite 16 was so very sweet!  Let me set the stage…

Party in the USA 5

Bathroom, mini-kitchen, butler, televisions all ours….it couldn’t have been better with so many little girls and their mommies! Thanks so much Aunt Liz!!

Party in the USA 6

Jenny, McCanless, Eliza and Chloe waiting on Miley.

Party in the USA 7

Party in the USA 8

Chicken tenders, nachos, and rainbow icees for all!

Party in the USA 9

McCanless, Eliza, Claire, Jenny and Lily

Party in the USA 10

“Girls Night Out”

Party in the USA 11

Party in the USA 12 better

Party in the USA 13

Party in the USA 14

“So I put my hands up, they’re playin’ my song…”

Party in the USA 14.5

Boom, boom clap.  Boom de-clap, de-clap.

Party in the USA 16

“When the drum hits, hands on your hips.”

Party in the USA 15

Thanksgiving Day 2009

This year, we did Thanksgiving a bit differently.  My mother had her entire family over to her house last Sunday with her siblings and family and my siblings.  It is always so fun and crazy with everyone around!  We have a large, loud and super fun family!!  Since we all gathered then, we all went our own separate ways this year for Thanksgiving Day.  I decided that I wanted to cook for our little family of four and stay home.  My mom had throat surgery on Wednesday at Duke and I wasn’t even sure if she would make it.  I planned on just Mel, the girls and I to spend the day together!

Thanksgiving 2008 1

Mary Clare and I woke up and cranked up the crock pots!  Did I mention that my oven control panel broke a couple of weeks ago?  I had to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner without an oven!   Gas top worked fine, just no oven!  (So glad Paula Dean has great crock pot macaroni and cheese and potato casserole recipes!  YUM!)

Thanksgiving 2009-2

We actually slept in and skipped the Annual YMCA 5K Turkey Trot.  The girls were able to enjoy the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade with no interruptions. We didn’t worry about getting up, getting dressed and rushing around!  It was wonderful!

Thanksgiving 2009-6

Thanksgiving 2009-3

I even put the girls to work.  They made  Reese’s Peanut Butter bars for Daddy.  I made Key Lime pies for me.  I know, non-traditional, but it was my party!  I did buy a pecan pie and ice cream for some tradition!

Thanksgiving 2009 4

Nonnie was able to come over, although sore and tired from surgery.  She had craft hour with the girls while I was able to finish up.  They made turkey place cards for the table.

Thanksgiving 2009-7

Thanksgiving 2009-5

Not bad for no oven, huh?  I ordered a cajun fried turkey and I grilled it at home to heat it up!

I made way too much food and we all stuffed ourselves.  We had such a relaxing day and just spent it together, cooking, napping, eating, and just being together!  We truly have so much to be thankful for!

McCanless in 5K

Below is a sample of McCanless’ classwork.  She is really doing great in 5K!  She is constantly writing “stories” and letters for me at home, and is actually getting really good at her spelling attempts.

McCanless' classwork

This was on the wall in her classroom.  The class created their own “monsters” with paper bags and various craft items.  They then had to write about their monsters.  McCanless named her monster, MaKayla.

Translation:

I am MaKayla and I am a pretty monster.

I like to eat macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes.

Flashback…

side pony

McCanless always dresses herself and comes up with some pretty interesting combinations sometime;  but when she decided on this purple ensemble AND side pony tail, I had to take a photo.  It looks like something I wore in middle school!   I’m not sure when side pony tails came back around, but I guess it all goes with the leg warmers, boots, frills, and leggings that are back in style and on top of McCanless must have lists.  She also loves her “skinny jeans.”  I can always count on McCanless to be on top of these things!

Another “pointy” tooth on its way!

McCanless lost her third tooth tonight!  She has lost three on the bottom front so far and told me that she’ll have another pointy tooth soon! (permanent)  Thankfully, she wants to save it and take it to school tomorrow to show her friends.   I’m sure the tooth fairy will appreciate the extra time to gather a few gold coins and fairy dust to place under her pillow tomorrow night. That is, if Mary Clare doesn’t loose the tiny tooth between now and then.  She has been begging McCanless to allow her to hold it and play with it and even told us it was “so cute.”

Toothless McCanless

I happen to think my little snaggle tooth is “so cute!”

It’s Official

As of 6:00 pm Tuesday, November 10, Mel is Mayor of Hartsville, South Carolina.

Mel's Swearing-In 1Mary Clare felt it necessary to “help” me as Mel took his Oath of Office.  She jumped up from her seat with Mimi, and came running to me with shoes off, paci in one hand and blue sucker in the other.  I couldn’t really stop the oath by handing over the Bible and picking her up, so I just watched her grab onto my legs and try to get my attention.  She kept saying, “Hey Mamma” until I had to look down and acknowledge her by saying, “Hello, Mary Clare.”  She stood up front with us until it was official and Daddy became Mayor.

Mel's Swearing-In 2

We were all hoping to celebrate where we celebrate best, Los Tres Amigos, after Mel was sworn into office;  but it didn’t dawn on me until after Mel took over that he had to actually preside over the meeting.  Whoops, I guess that comes with the title, huh?

Mel's Swearing-In 3We stayed a bit to watch the council meeting but around 6:30, we had to leave to pick up McCanless from dance.  (She opted not to attend Daddy’s special meeting.  Dance is far more important to her right now.)  I took her back to City Hall to see Daddy in his new role, but executive session had begun behind closed doors so this was all she was able to see.  By this time, McCanless and Mary Clare had had their fill of City Hall and politics and were like little ants all over the building, climbing on chairs, dancing in the halls and running around barefoot.  This was Daddy’s first night on the job, and in the interst of his reputation as a father,  we decided not to wait on  him and headed out to eat with Mimi and Nonnie.  (We’ll break them in slowly.)  The girls were dancing and singing as loudly as they could down the steps of City Hall.  Ready or not, Hartsville, here we come!

Saturday

coffee

For the first time in, oh…. say….,months, I am alone.  I’m on the couch, with a cup of coffee, watching Dirty Dancing on ABC Family, (and blogging a bit, of course).  It is FABULOUS!  We had a great day at the Hartsville Downtown Open Marketplace this morning and even entered Emmie in a dog show!  She didn’t win, but she surprised us and behaved very well.  I can’t say the same for our girls. We ate lunch and went driving through town with the windows down to gather up a few of Mel’s  remaining campaign signs.  It has been a great Fall day.

McCanless begged all afternoon to have a sleep over party, and after I refused, Mel gave in to her whining and offered a girls’ movie night.  (He can’t help himself.  He LOVES to entertain McCanless and all of her girlfriends.)  McCanless dressed in her coolest outfit, they grabbed a few Miley CDs, picked up four more girls and took off in the limo.  Mary Clare even got to tag along this time, much to McCanless’ dismay.  (I’m waiting on the call to come get her any minute now.) The only movie playing was, “A Christmas Carol,” but that doesn’t really matter, I think they all love the limo, loud music and silly Daddy most of all.  Mel may be a great businessman, funeral director and mayor extraordinaire, but his best roles are my sweet hubby and Daddy!

Hartsville has a new mayor!

Click Here

Today is the day!

Mel for Mayor I

Go Vote!  Mel for Mayor!

Trick or Treat!

Halloween 2009-1

McCanless’ 5K friend, Benson, had a Halloween party on Halloween afternoon.  Although it was pretty hot and most of the kids shed their costumes, they all had a ball!  They ran themselves silly, ate a ton and even went on pony and donkey rides.  We finished up the day with a hay ride!

Halloween 2009-2

Halloween 2009-3

Halloween 2009-4

We began our evening of trick-or-treating in our own neighborhood at BB and PaPa’s house.  We decided to have a “low key,” traditional Halloween night and forgo a few Halloween parties along with all of the chaos and rushing around.  We had a great time going door to door, visiting friends and family in our own backyard!

Halloween 2009-5

Our neighbors and best pals, Peyton and Anne-Hackett just happened to show up while we were at BB and Papa’s house, so we decided to tackle our neighborhood all together!

Halloween 2009-6

Sweet Pinkalicious tried her hardest to keep up with the big girls!

Halloween 2009-7

Halloween 2009-12

Halloween 2009-8

Halloween 2009-9

I think the girls had more fun running and playing and dancing in the streets than actually knocking on doors.

Halloween 2009-10

Halloween 2009-11

Mary Clare had to try out every piece of candy as soon as she got it!  She would knock on doors, get candy, open it, eat it.  Every time.

2009 THA Halloween Carnival

I decided to snap a couple of photos of my Pink and Precious Halloween baby girls before we left for the carnival.  I’m so glad I did!  The carnival is always so much fun and so busy with food, games, huge bouncy castles, pony rides and music!  We barely had time to do everything, much less stop to pose for photos!  What a fun night!

THA Carnival 09-4

Pinkalicious

THA Carnival 09-3

She even had pinkalicious hair!

THA Carnival 09-1

Princess McCanless

THA Carnival 09-2

THA Carnival 09-5

THA Carnival Fun 1

As soon as we hit the doors of the THA Gymnasium, McCanless took off and remained with her friends for the entire carnival.  She stayed in the library most of the evening, where the 7th grade hosted a Monster Mash Dance Party.

THA Carnival Fun 4

Meanwhile, Mary Clare found a group of toddlers and her favorite cousin in front of the Emcee and danced her little heart out all night!

THA Carnival Fun 2

She also found many of my former students to “play” with.  She loves my students, and she loves the attention!

THA carnival Fun 3

Just before the end of the carnival, McCanless found her way back to the gym and she and Mary Clare played a few games.  We had so much fun!  The carnival is always one of my favorite Halloween festivities!


Mary Clare’s 2K Class Halloween Party

Mary Clare's Halloween Party 09-2

Mary Clare attends a 2K class five mornings a week,  so her teacher had a party on Thursday and Friday so everyone could participate.  (Not all of the children attend all 5 mornings.)   Mary Clare was a beautiful princess on Thursday and a USC cheerleader on Friday!  (Mommy came straight from school and it just so happened to be Tacky Day. It also just so happened to be the first day I have been able to meet other 2K parents. I’m hoping they assumed I was dressed up for Halloween!)

Mary Clare's Halloween Party 09-1

Mary Clare and Reese

Mary Clare's Halloween Party 09-3

She thought it was funny to pull his tail!

Mary Clare's Halloween Party 09-4

While Ms. Jordan led the children in  songs and practiced Halloween sign language, Mary Clare dug in her candy bags.  She still has a huge sweet tooth!  …Looks like Halloween will be her favorite holiday!

I don’t remember there ever being 12 days of Halloween when I was a child!

I’m worn out and we still have Trick-or-Treating to go!  This week we’ve had Red Ribbon Anti Drug week with a different dress-up themed day, three Halloween class parties, one carnival, one Halloween party and two more parties plus Trick-or-Treating to do!!  What a crazy and fun week of dressing up!  My girls have been in heaven!

Tacky Day 2009

Tacky Day at THA


Mr. Jack O. Lantern

Pumpkin Carvin' 09-1

McCanless asked me what Jack’s middle name was.  When I asked, “Jack Who?”  She replied, “You know!  Jack O.  What does the O. stand for?”

Pumpkin Carvin' 09-2

Pouting because she “wanted a turn!”

Pumpkin Carvin 09-3

…then she certainly wasn’t a fan of the squishy insides of Mr. Jack.

Pumpkin Carvin' 09-6

Pumpkin Carvin' 09-4

Later that night, Mary Clare was amazed at the candle inside of our Jack-O-Lantern!

Pumpkin Carvin' 09-5

My beautiful princesses.

…and speaking of, this is not Mary Clare’s Halloween costume.  She wore this dress to school today.  For a couple of months now, she has only wanted to be “pink” for Halloween, so we decided on Pinkalicious, a character from her favorite book.  Gone are the days of my grand plans of coordinated baby girls.  They are way too strong willed for that.  This year, I tried desperately to get them to be a pirate and mermaid, and for a few weeks when McCanless insisted on being Miley Cyrus, I even thought about dressing Mary Clare as Hannah Montanna!  Finally, McCanless suggested a princess.  At first, I thought it wasn’t extrememly creative or exciting.   They wear their dress-up Princess clothes on a daily basis. But you know what?  How much longer are my baby girls going to want to twirl in pouffy dresses and wear crowns for Halloween?  I knew Mary Clare would probably not appreciate a coordinating frog costume when big sister got to twirl in her pink dress anyway, so Princess and Pinkalicious it is!  McCanless and I found a gorgeous pink sequin dress, fancy shoes , a real crown and jewels for her costume, and I have yet to show Miss Pinkalicious her equally as twirly and new pinkalicious attire!  I knew she would wear it out before Halloween! Two twirly, whirly, pinkalicious dresses for my two pinkalicious princesses!

On a different subject, after calling week after week every doctor’s office in SC including MUSC, I was finally able to make appointments for their H1N1 Vaccinations at our local Health Department!!  No lines!  Hooray!! I am thrilled! We are all now protected against regular seasonal flu and H1N1 Flu!!  (Well, Mel and I have to wait for the H1N1 Vaccination, but at least the girls have it!)  Mel was busy, as usual, so I took the girls myself.  Mary Clare took her stick like a champ, only cried for a second, grabbed her Dora sticker and jumped out of my lap.  McCanless immediately stopped smiling when the nurse said, “You’re next.”  She had no clue.  Mary Clare began repeating exactly what McCanless had been preaching to her.  “It won’t hurt.  It will only be a minute.  Don’t cry.”

McCanless screamed, begged, pleaded and screamed more.  She begged me, the nurse, and Mary Clare to take her home.  “I saw the needle!  You can’t do this!”   The nurse asked me if I had a drama queen on my hands.   I had to pull her pants down, which was horrific to McCanless, and hold her wrists tight while she screamed bloody murder.  When I called Mel about an hour and a half later after dinner, after baths, she was still screaming.  She is furious with me, but she is protected!

Hartsville Messenger Endorsement

I usually only post events about the girls and leave grown up/adult “stuff” out of this blog, unless, of course, the girls are involved!  This post, however, requires an exemption and a special posting!  Read on!

EDITORIAL: In choice for mayor, solutions matter most

By Lisa Chalian-Rock The Messenger Editor
Published: October 28, 2009

Innovation and ideas matter most in tough economic times. Without creativity, Hartsville will remain mired in its troubles. Hartsville needs solutions and someone who is willing to take a chance and think outside the box to tackle the city’s problems.

As some 150 residents saw last week at the mayor’s forum at Coker College, residents have two fine candidates for the city’s highest office. Both have business and government experience, have called Hartsville home for many years and have contributed to and love this community.

Pam Sansbury wants to focus on “common sense.” Her solutions for Hartsville’s finances include reducing salaries, cutting positions and trimming spending. She wants an outside firm to evaluate the city’s computer system to make sure payments and bills are posting properly, and she says the revenue loss seems suspicious and is worth investigating.

“It’s just like running a business,” she says.

Mel Pennington wants to “fundamentally change” the way the city makes money by creating a new stream of revenue with the broadband project he has worked on as vice-chairman of the planning commission. He says infrastructure technology needs to be added to the 2020 plan. He also wants to investigate the coming storm water rate increase before it hits in January. He says he looks forward to working with citizens and with state legislators to utilize all the assets (people) Hartsville has.

Sansbury’s main argument for her candidacy is her experience, that “she’s the only qualified candidate;” however, the current problems grew out of the decisions made during the time in which she served as finance director and on city council. She was in government when the utility fund was raided.

On recreation spending, Sansbury says the budget is bloated. Pennington questions the logic of cutting out one of the city’s gems. The department does charge separate rates for in-town and out-of-town residents.

For the controversial water bills, neither candidate sees the rates changing immediately. Pennington has a plan to address the problem in the long run by shifting the way the city raises money to a more market-based approach. Sansbury sees this as a reason to investigate the city’s revenue loss and monthly financial statements.

While Sansbury wants to start her administration off with a budget retreat in January, Pennington says he plans to start on Nov. 4 with a transition team and a “Day One Plan.”

Pennington already started a list of items to put on the agenda the date the new mayor will be sworn in, on Nov. 10. He said he intends to make the meeting a work session as it is intended to be.

While Sansbury says her retired status is an asset, her attitude didn’t reflect what that implies, that she will take on the job fulltime. She mentioned an open door policy at the Oct. 20 forum, but the hours she noted were minimal at best, just 2 to 3 hours per day.

She says she is focused on accountability and having a goal but only describes a corporate mentality of budget cuts and the elimination of positions.

Pennington focuses on the other side of the equation: revenue. Besides the broadband initiative, he wants to propose a tax rebate for agricultural land adjacent to the city. Once the land is developed, the tax rebate goes away and the city gains a commercial or industrial customer. He cites the Lowe’s on Fourth Street as an example of a property that could have been negotiated in this way.

Sansbury has good business sense and knows how the system works now and has worked in the past, but is that enough to drive the city into the quickly changing future?

If the job of a mayor is to lead, Pennington is the choice. He shows leadership and excitement. He energizes people and could use the mayor’s position as the bully pulpit it is to sway city council toward a goal. He comes to the table with new thinking, alternative, out-of-the-box ideas and, more importantly, real solutions.

His approach tackles the city’s problems from a new direction, and that new direction is what Hartsville needs.

The choice for Hartsville is clear. To go forward, voters must choose the candidate of entrepreneurial spirit over the candidate of comfortable experience.

Prestwood Wiener Roast

Saturday night we headed over to Prestwood Country Club for the annual Prestwood Family Wiener Roast!  We had so much fun and stayed way too late!

Prestwood I

McCanless met us there with her friend, Eliza.  The big girls had a great time!

Prestwood IV

The “2” crew!

Prestwood VI

I think Daddy and Mary Clare had 6 hot dogs between the two of them!

Prestwood II

Always dancing.  Always cheering.

Prestwood III

Prestwood V

One can never have too many hayrides in Fall!

Today, Sunday, Aunt Liz and Uncle Robert took McCanless to the SC State Fair for more fun!  Afterward, McCanless crashed at aunt Liz’s house for a couple of hours, met up with Nonnie, Kacy, Kate and Mary Clare and headed for “Boo at the Zoo” at Riverbanks Zoo.  (I told you we were busy with Fall!)  Mel and I have had a nice relaxing evening without any Fall Festivities or children!  Good thing, I’ll probably need the extra rest to be able to put up with two worn out little monsters tomorrow!

Halloween Bash with BB and PaPa

Saturday afternoon, BB and PaPa took Reese and Mary Clare to a Halloween party! (McCanless was at Eliza’s house.)

More hayrides, pumpkins and fun!  We do love Fall!

Boo

Boo I

Morphis Party

Mary Clare with one of her favorite THA big girls, Holly!

Morphis Party II

Reese and Mary Clare on the tractor!

Morphis Party III

BB and Reese

Morphis Party IV

PaPa

Coker Farms Fall Festival

A little rain didn’t stop us from having a great time at the Coker Farms Fall Festival on Saturday morning!

Coker Farms I

My little sweet heart loving life…

Coker Farms II

It’s cotton pickin’ time!

Coker Farms III

Coker Farms IV

When asked what she wanted on her face Mary Clare replied, “Pink.”  She is really, really into pink these days.  Only a pink butterfly would do!

Coker Farms V

We danced to bluegrass, ate hot dogs, picked cotton and played in the rain.  McCanless went home with Eliza and Mary Clare fell fast asleep in the car on the ride home!  A great way to begin our weekend!

HOORAY!

Mary Clare’s impromptu cardiology visit was a blessing in disguise!   Driving down to Charleston, Mel and I were so nervous about the results of her visit.   We just couldn’t shake that stomach sickening feeling that you get when you know your baby is sick.   Very sick.  Although Mary Clare’s Oxygen saturation levels are dropping and she is turning bluer as the months roll along, her heart function/squeeze is great!  (For a single ventricle heart, that is.)   Her echo looked great and her EKG was perfect!  Her little heart is doing fine and now we know that for sure.  Whew!  In fact, we have been cleared for an “official” clinic visit until Spring 2010!  We will, at that point, schedule a heart catheterization to get detailed and very specific heart pressures.  Dr. Bradley typically operates within a month after a heart catheterization…so we have a tentative plan and until then, my little blueberry will be at home safe and sound!

MUSC October visit 2009-1

Here is Mary Clare getting her echo with Ms. Karen, one of our favorite echo technicians!!

MUSC October visit 2009-2

She is such a big girl during her echos and never fusses.

Her oxygen levels will continue to drop as her Fontan approaches, which is to be expected.  It’s kind-of a “catch 22.”   She needs to be a certain weight for the surgery, but at the same time, as time progresses and she gains weight, it places more stress on her heart and her function may decline.  So, although I want her to gain weight for her Fontan, I also know that it means that her levels will continue to drop with the added weight.

I think there must be  a fine line as to when the Fontan needs to take place, and I’m sure it varies for each child.  Many other hospitals perform the Fontan at much earlier ages, but I have complete confidence in Dr. Bradley and the  cardiology team at MUSC.   We know that because Dr. Bradley will use synthetic (man made) materials in this final surgery,  they will not “grow” with her heart.  They must be with her lifelong.  So, in layman’s terms, her heart cannot be too small because the materials used will be too big-they must be a certain size to last her throughout her life.  Also, we must wait for her to gain weight, but we can’t wait too long because her levels will continue to drop as she gets bigger.  (I know, very oxymoronish.)

MUSC October visit 2009-3

After our 2 hour long visit at MUSC, we headed to our favorite lunch destination in Charleston, Fleet Landing!  It couldn’t have been a more beautiful day!

MUSC October visit 2009-4

I didn’t notice this at all today during lunch, but as I was deleting photos, I stopped to wonder what in the world my lens focused on in this particular photo above.

Cross on the beach I

After zooming in I saw the cross on the beach behind Mary Clare, which is exactly what I tried to focus on all day.

Refresher course on the Total Fontan procedure:  In a normal heart each ventricle does a separate job. The right ventricle pumps blood to the lungs, the left ventricle pumps blood to the body. In a single ventricle heart, like Mary Clare’s, there is only one ventricle large enough to do the normal job of pumping blood.  Cardiothoracic surgeons configure the circulation to maximize the efficiency of this single ventricle. This ultimately requires committing the single ventricle to doing the harder work of the heart, pumping blood to the body. The job of getting blood to the lungs must be done without a pump.  Whenever there is only one ventricle large enough to do a normal job of pumping blood, we need to configure the circulation to maximize the efficiency of this single ventricle without overworking it.  The “Fontan circulation” refers to this configuration where the single ventricle pumps blood returning from the lungs to the body, and the blood returning from the body travels to the lungs via direct blood vessel connections without a pumping chamber. In any individual child there may be different procedures needed to achieve this goal. – MUSC Children’s Hospital/Cardiology

Funny how plans can change in the blink of an eye…

Yesterday, I called Central Scheduling at MUSC to bump up Mary Clare’s cardiology appointment.  Really, it was for my own peace of mind.  Her O2 stats have been running in the low 80’s lately, and a few others have noticed her heavy breathing, so I thought it may be time just to have a check up.  To my surprise, the nurse with whom I was speaking,  placed me on hold to discuss this with her cardiologist.  I thought, “Well she must not have much experience with HLHS babies, because this is somewhat normal as we approach her Fontan.  If I was that concerned I certainly would have called him myself.  He will explain that HLHS babies do this and a November appointment will be fine.”

Besides, her Fontan will be in 2010.  Such a very long time away.

What a slap in my face and a huge reality check when the nurse told me that he wanted to see her “tomorrow.”  So today, October 22, we’ll pack up and head to Charleston.  I’m not exactly sure what will happen, but my mommy instinct tells me that we will have a time frame for her third surgery.  Today, I feel ready to tackle this.  Yesterday, I kept thinking how awful it was that I haven’t allowed myself to see the signs sooner.   That I haven’t wanted to “go there.”  Her breathing has become very labored at times.  Her little blueberry hands and feet are always cold.  Last week on her nature walk in pre-school, she couldn’t go 100 yards before she stopped to rest.  Her teachers had to carry her the rest of the way.  She naps.  She sleeps longer.

When she was born and we knew she faced the three surgeries, the Fontan was the least of our worries.  It was the surgery she would have “when she was older” and it seemed so far away.  Time slips away  quickly and , in a way , I’m glad that I often “forget” that she is a heart baby.  I thank God everyday for my little blueberry and all of the happiness she brings to our family.

My little entrepreneuer

McCanless' water stand

…takes after her Daddy!  Yesterday, she decided to sell water bottles by the street in front of our house.  When water bottles weren’t an immediate hit, she started selling packaged cookies and business took off!  She made quite a profit.  Thanks Uncle Leon for the generous “donation.”  She was so proud of herself and did all of the work herself.  She lugged all of the items out, made a sign and stood out by the street for quite some time!  I’m sure this won’t be her last road side stand.

The Real World

I laughed yesterday as I read a blog post of a friend.  She joked about reading “mom blogs” and how most showcase “picture perfect” moments.  Kids smiling in pristine matching outfits, not a hair out of place perfectly positioned in beautiful clean houses with educational toys.  Rarely do we see anyone’s dirty laundry, so to speak.   Sometimes, we’ll catch a glimpse of the real world in anecdotal type stories meant for a laugh.  You know the ones.  I’ve written them a thousand times.  McCanless shouting out to Father Michael during church, “You don’t say Jesus Christ” is a good example.

I’ve tried to do my best to encapsulate both of their little personalities in this “mom blog,” but I’ll have to agree with my fellow mom blogger, most of the posts are definitely “the picture perfect moments.”  So, in an effort to post more of those “true-to-life” moments and being brutally honest, I’ll post about this Sunday morning…

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I didn’t set the alarm, so I woke up very late at 8:00.  (Mel, the girls and I stayed up late to watch our Gamecocks loose to Alabama, sadly.) I knew I had just over an hour to get all four of us up, fed, dressed and out the door.  I woke up the girls (who were laying beside me along with Emmie, the weinie dog, and Cole, the cat, who must have snuck in) and told them to wake up Daddy, who was in McCanless’ twin bed in her room down the hall.   He was doing breakfast today, like it or not.  I jumped in the shower, and noticed that we only had 3 towels left.  (I’ve got to do laundry today.) I started it last night during the game and only got so far as to sort it out on the kitchen floor…and there it remains still today.   McCanless had to wear too small tights, and Mary Clare had to wear too big Sunday shoes.  Nothing that a little stretching and a few cotton balls didn’t fix!  Mel was on the phone this morning forever with a political mentor, so he was running late and was no help to me after making a mess in the kitchen.  As he jumped in the shower and we waited, I grabbed my camera.

 

Mary Clare on Sunday Attempt 1

Mary Clare fled when she saw my camera and this is where I found her.

Mary Clare on Sunday Attempt 2

In attempts to get a cute Fall Sunday morning photo of my precious girls in their Sunday best (and matching at that), I begged her to come out…

Mary Clare on Sunday Attempt 3

…to no avail.  So, I told her she had to come out “right now” and this is the look I got.

McCanless on Sunday Alone

One of the two cooperated.

“I’ll get a cute shot of the two of you in front of our beautiful church”  lets, go!  So, I left Mel,  still in the shower.

Mary Clare at Church Alone

McCanless was fed up with photos by the time we got to St. Barts, so she ran inside to join her friends at Sunday School and this is how Mary Clare felt about photos in front of the church.  Mel ended up getting a call anyway, so he never made it to church.  Mary Clare decided to sing, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” out loud during communion and slapped my face when I asked her to whisper.  McCanless didn’t have on panties but proceeded to hike up her dress and yank on her too small tights at the altar… also during communion.  We dropped the Bible, Mary Clare threw visitor pew cards and mini pencils and McCanless went missing for about 10 minutes during the service.  (Mind you, children are only in the service during communion, thankfully.)   Mel walks in about 5 minutes before the end of the service.    Ironically, the message was about forgiveness today….I think.

My little Cheerleaders!

Go Coxes

 

Go Coxes 1

Go Coxes 8

Go Coxes 7
Go Coxes 2

Go Coxes 3

Go Coxes 4

Go Coxes 6

Go Coxes 9

Fall is rolling right along and we are enjoying the cooler weather (finally) and all that comes with the season (on top of the usual chaos)…  football games, fall festivals and parties with hay rides, the State Fair, Halloween planning, election season, of course, and now a family wedding!  Needless to say, we are as busy as ever and enjoying life!  

Congratulations are in Order!!

McCanless in her wedding gown

This photo is McCanless several years ago when she was obsessed with all things bridal!  

I’m sure I’ll need to pull out my wedding album and find her a bigger size dress up gown because she is, once again obsessed with weddings.  I think it has a little to do with AUNT LIZ GETTING ENGAGED!! We are so thrilled and super excited, especially McCanless!  She happened to be at her best friend, Eliza’s house when I found out,  and when I called her to tell her the great news, she shrieked, dropped the phone and I could hear her telling Eliza that she was going to be a flower girl. “Can you believe it?” she said, then squealed again!  Congratulations Aunt Liz and soon-to-be Uncle Robert!  We are so happy for you!  We love you both!

The Latest on MC…

Mary Clare in a big girl swing

This was taken after church on Sunday, instead of a nap!  

Mary Clare refuses to swing in “the baby swing” now.  She insists on swinging, everyday, in “MA-CAN-LESS-ES”  swing. 

Thankfully, we have had an uneventful year health-wise for MC.  She continues to grow and function just as any other “normal” two year old. (Her little half-heart has been fine.  It’s the hitting, screaming, raging tantrums and NON-sharing that I’m having the most trouble with, which make my own blood pressures rise.)  Lately, however, I have noticed that her breathing is getting heavier, her lips a little bluer and she gets tired a bit quicker than she would a few months ago.  At first I chalked it up to a possible cold, playing harder and trying to keep up with McCanless, but now I have allowed myself to realize that it is, in fact, my little blueberry’s half heart.  I have had her oxygen saturation levels checked once a week for the past 6 weeks, and she is consistently running in the low 80’s.  Her norm has been typically high 80’s.  

I know it is coming, and I’m actually ready to have a time frame.  It will mark the third and final surgery. The end, for a while.  Hopefully.   

The “tell all” for the time frame for the third stage surgery, the Fontan, is typically weight gain.  She has hovered around 25 pounds for forever, so it seems.  Her cardiologist would like her to be 30 lbs, but if her sats continue to drop or if another issue arrises, they will continue with the third surgery.  We have an appointment on November 17 and will have many questions answered then with possibly a catheterization date.  I find peace in knowing that the time is approaching and I welcome the new year and getting this phase behind us.  Until then, we’ll continue swinging in the big girl swings, dressing in all things pink and sparkly, learning how to share, and laughing with our funny little blueberry!   She has the best belly giggle!

 

My Dizzy Girl

This photo is from McCanless’ Dance Company Photo shoot.

She looks like such a big girl!

McCanless Dance 2009

Dance Company Girls

McCanless thought she was hot stuff  when she was able to get in the photo with the big girls.  She loves it!  This is a photo of all of the girls.  (Competition Dance Teams- Petite, Junior, Teen and Senior Dance Companies)

Dance Pals

A few behind the scenes shots…

Dance Pals 2

Apparently, McCanless thought something was funny.

Dance Pals 4

Of course, Mary Clare wanted in on the action.

Dance Pals 5

THA!!

THA 1

THA 2

THA 3

 

My Funky Heart pal, Steve, found another moving article today. Go here to read about one mother’s wish.

You know, I’ve been a blood donor for as long as I have been legally able. When I gave blood for the first time at age 18, my motives weren’t quite as heroic as it sounds. It was a chance to get out of class and gain points for the USC vs. Clemson blood drive when I was in college . If you live anywhere near SC, you know giving blood for your SC Gamecocks to win against Clemson in ANYTHING is the least you can do! After that, I gave blood because I felt special. I have type O negative blood, and the Red Cross always called me when my 45 days between donations expired. They literally begged me to donate. Pretty selfish of me to actually think that I was special merely because I gave blood. The older I got, I began to realize that what I did made a difference. I began to feel that it was my duty to help out. In my naivety, I was proud of myself for donating blood. My hopes, back then, would be that one day if I needed blood, good karma would follow. Never in a million years, would I have ever expected that one day I would be at the mercy of other blood donors as my Mary Clare received multiple blood transfusions and received so many pints of blood during her hospital stints. My child, not myself. That certainly humbled me and brought me to my knees, literally. My youthful mind and immature ways of thinking often haunt me to this day.

I thank God for those that gave blood for my Mary Clare. Wouldn’t it be awesome to know exactly whose blood she received, so I could call them and thank them personally, although words would never begin to describe the gratitude I have.

All of this rambling about blood donations leads me to the article I mentioned previously. The mother is waiting on a heart for her son. She asks a bold question, “Why are people dying every day when perfectly good organs are being buried in the ground?” Good question. Her son is on a transplant wait list because he is in heart failure. His heart didn’t adjust well after his Fontan surgery, which is the exact same surgery that Mary Clare will have soon.

It is almost silly that everyone isn’t an organ donor. Thankfully, I have an outsider’s point of view. So many HLHS babies require heart transplants, and right now, Mary Clare is not one of those babies. Living with a half heart has it’s own downfalls, but she is overcoming those. I hope and pray that she’ll never need a transplant, but I’m not taking any chances. I’m an organ donor, and I would certainly give her my very own heart today if needed. I know that isn’t possible, but my hope is that if she ever needs a heart that somewhere, someone would feel the same way.

If you are not an organ donor, please go here. (There is even a USC vs. Clemson competition going on right now!)

…and if you need another reason, click on Owen’s button below. He is a sweet HLHS baby boy also waiting on a heart.

Owen's Button

…or click on Paul Cardell’s button below.  He is a father and wonderful musician with a CHD who just received a heart!!

Living for Eden

 

Quote of the Day

“I’m in Graceland!!”

Which is exactly what my mother yelled into the phone when I called her today.  She and her sister flew out yesterday morning to visit the birth place of the King.   Although she would never admit it in public, she was utterly thrilled!

Being the mom of four children never left her much time to travel, although she has sent all four of us out of the country and across the country on many occasions.   I’m glad it’s finally her time and she can begin to check off her own To- Do list!  Graceland-Home of Elvis Presley being top on that list!  Who knows?  Paris may be next!  Have fun mom, you deserve it!  

A visit to the Pumpkin Patch

 

Pumpkin Patch 2009 1

Pumpkin Patch 2009 2

Pumpkin Patch 2009 3

Pumpkin Patch 2009 5

Pumpkin Patch 2009 4

Signs of the times…

I once wrote about McCanless’ knowledge of iPods in 3K in a post entitled, “Signs of the Times.”  Yesterday, Mary Clare threw me for a loop when I realized how quickly children learn and adapt.  She and I were looking through photos on my laptop.  She wanted to see a photo of McCanless in a princess dress that we previously viewed.  She grew annoyed with me because I didn’t go back to that specific photo.  She grabbed my laptop and brushed the screen to scroll back up, which is exactly how the touch screen iPhone operates.  I had no idea she knew how to use my iPhone.  To test her, I handed her my phone.  She pressed the button to open it up, slid the touch screen bar to unlock the home screen and then began to scroll through my application icons and opened up the several children’s applications and songs I have saved on it for her.  Wow.  I knew McCanless had become a pro on my computer and  iPhone, but I had no idea Mary Clare was well on her way as well.  

Silly girls…

Silly girls 1

McCanless grew tired of my photo shoot after one shot…so she moved on.

Silly Girls 3

iPhone Junkie

So I moved on to MC, my camera ham.

Silly girls 2

 

Silly Girls 4

 

Silly girls 5

 

silly girls 6

 

silly girls 8

 

Post #808 deserves a WOW. Here it is…

Go to Adventures of a Funky Heart, whose author just so happens to be an adult CHDer from South Carolina, and read!

Who knew…

homework III

…nightly homework begins in 5K?  5K homework, for the record, consists of 10-20 minutes of reading her chosen library book or class book, usually one math practice sheet or game, and a vocabulary assignment (usually writing rhyming words with her weekly vocab) Not too bad at all.  For now. 

homework IV

  Fortunately for everyone, McCanless actually likes doing homework.  For now.

Homework II

Unfortunately for McCanless, little sister also loves doing homework.

Homework I

Which means McCanless’ homework usually has a few extra marks here and there, much to her dismay.

Dad for Mayor

Mel for Mayor I

Mel for Mayor II

This little piggy went to school…

It’s no secret that we love sweets around here, especially cupcakes!  McCanless and I whip up a batch of cupcakes or muffins almost weekly! (To give away, of course.)  The cupcakes we made last night were worthy of a post. 

I found a website tutorial on how to make cute piglet cupcakes with strawberry icing and big, pink marshmallows.  Those would have been super cute IF I had strawberries and IF I had big, pink marshmallows. Which we did not,  so we improvised with what we did have:  Halloween M&M’s, food coloring and fruit roll-ups.  McCanless actually came up with the idea for the ears.  I thought they turned out pretty cute!  (Even cuter than the fancy marshmallow cupcakes online!)  AND McCanless did them all by herself.  Mostly.

Pig Cupcakes 1

FYI  Ms. Susie, McCanless’ teacher, loves pigs and McCanless’ classroom is filled with piggy paraphernalia. Hence, the piggy cupcakes for her class.

Pig Cupcakes 3

A little practice on the cutting  board before she began the real deal…

Pig Cupcakes 2

Meanwhile…

Pig Cupcakes MC 1

“Who me?”

Pig Cupcakes MC 2

Pig Cupcakes MC 3

PIg Cupcakes MC 4

Pig Cupcakes MC 5

PIg Cupcakes Final

 

Redfearn Tree Farm

Fall is the best time of the year to go to the cabin out on BB’s family’s tree farm.  

Cabin 2009 1

Cabin 2009 2

Double Trouble, or as they call them in their 2K class, Bonnie and Clyde!

Cabin 5

Cabin 2009 3

We love going out to the cabin!  It’s so beautiful and peaceful!

Cabin 2009 8

We had a great time with the Bensons last weekend!

Cabin 2009 4

McCanless with the camera…

Cabin 2009 6

Cabin 2009 7

Mary Clare was tickling Daddy!

Go Coxes!


HHS 2009 1

Mary Clare cheers for the “Cox-es,” which is exactly what McCanless did as a toddler!  I guess remembering if we are cheering for the Foxes or Cocks can get tricky!

Cole, the cat

Cole 1

This is Cole.

Cole 2

I thought it was high time for a post on babypennington.com devoted entirely to him.  Cole has been my cat for over eleven years now.  That means he was mine before Mel, marriage, and motherhood.  He is a big old lump of loud purring, annoying head bumping, snuggling fur, and I love him dearly.  He was born a country cat in Ashland, moved to the big city of Columbia and became an indoor cat where  I failed at all attempts to toilet train him.  Now he is an indoor/outdoor babysitting creek cat who thinks Emmie, the wiener dog, is an idiot.   He is fabulous.

The family that campaigns together…

Last Thursday night, we headed over to the Coker Soccer Field for their annual Taste of Coker.  Lots of kids, lots of food, a huge open space for running with music and cheerleaders to boot.  It always makes for a great time!  This year we decided to use this opportunity to do a little campaigning, too!  Go Mel!

Taste of Coker 2009 1

 

Taste of Coker 2009 2

McCanless wouldn’t wear her “Mel for Mayor” shirt!  Does it really begin this young?   She ran around with her friends and avoided us most of the night.  I thought we were pretty cool parents?   Well, you know, except for the matching family shirts and all.  The “Go Mel” painted on my face probably didn’t help either.

Taste of Coker 2009 3

Perfect Beach Weather!

We do love the fall…

September Beach Trip

and we love that we can still have fun at the beach…

September Beach Trip 2

in the fall!!

September Beach Trip 3

 

September Beach Trip 1

…and do we ever have fun at the beach!!

Septmeber Beach trip 4

 

Proud Mamma…

McCanless’ teacher told me today that she has the neatest handwriting in 5K!  She received a sticker and her work was displayed in front of the classroom.  When I asked McCanless about it, she said, “Yeah, I know.”  No big deal to her, but her mamma is thrilled and so proud.  Mel told me that he also had the best handwriting in 5K, way back when.  I wonder if that is because his teacher just happened to be his mother!!?  (I’m sure, if you have ever seen Mel’s handwriting, you know that I’m joking.  His writing in immaculate!!) Like father, like daughter in more ways than one!

My little dancer…

McCanless has had a couple of busy, dancing weekends!  Last weekend, she had Petite Company try-outs on Friday and a workshop on Saturday.  This weekend, she had the company photo shoot and production weekend, which meant two days of dancing.  She couldn’t have been more thrilled.  My big girl is quite the dancer these days!

cannie and her big sis 2

This is Kate from the Senior Company and McCanless’ new idol.   Funny thing is, I remember Kate when she was born!  Her mother was the music teacher at my high school, and now Kate is back in Hartsville for her senior year in high school and is McCanless’ “big sis!”  She is such a great dancer.  McCanless and I both love watching Kate.

tryouts

Petite Company

Petite Company girls

I doubt “Tour of Homes” would stop by our house…

A few nights ago, I took a moment to walk around the house to assess the damage.  The girls were playing in the tub and I had a few moments to straighten things up a bit.  

Have you ever had one of those moments where you felt you didn’t know where to begin, so you didn’t?  

I decided to take those few moments, not to quickly pick up the house, but rather photograph it.  I just know one day, one day, I’ll miss seeing evidence of this chaos called my life, and I’ll miss it.  Right?  

Taco Night with Mary Clare 

Evidence 1

Kindergarten Art Work by Mary Clare

Evidence 2

Evidence 3Labels, labels, labels.  Let me explain.  One of McCanless’ homework assignments was to label our house.  She was to start with her bedroom and slowly work her way around the house.  I assumed she would use words like wall, door, bed, etc., but you know McCanless.  On day one, she wanted to label every single item we owned.  We went through hundreds of notecards and tape until I realized that mailing labels work wonderfully.  I can print off exactly 100 at a time and let her have at it!    Mel only protested when he realized that the toilet had too many labels.  (She insists on labeling not only items but each part of that item as well…toilet, top, bottom, side, etc.)  So now our house dons hundreds of mailing labels. 

Evidence 4

DSC_0031Phonetically spelled signs on doors by McCanless that are so fun to decipher!

Evidence 6

"You haf too do this.  Mile Siris and Hannah Montana on my dor."  

Before entering, you must press a photo of either Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus to be able to enter McCanless’ room.

Evidence 7

Groceries waiting to be put away.  It was one of those days.  I barely made it inside with the girls, groceries, all of the stuff that accumulates in the car throughout the day, before it began to rain.  I threw the groceries on the counter and put away the fridge items and left the rest.  Apparently.  I guess I never got back around to finishing.  I had to take a photo because if you’ll notice, almost every item is upside down!  Typical.  

Evidence 8

I walked back around to the bathroom because it grew quiet.  Never a good sign.  I noticed wet, soapy footprints on the floor.  Apparently, the girls were concerned and came looking for me.  So much for straightening up, I’d much rather rinse soapy heads and read bed time stories!  Those refried beans can be scraped off of the table when they go to sleep!

Wow, that’s high!

So yes, Mary Clare likes to dress up in my clothes these days, along with any and every princess costume we have.  Here she just so happens to have on one of my camisoles when she decided to perform for the camera.  Go figure.  (They never perform on demand or when they are in an adorable outfit with matching bow now do they?)   Oh and never mind McCanless’ Elvis impersonations.          I don’t even have a good explanation for that one.  Again, go figure.

Mary Clare’s first day of 2K at First Baptist Weekday Preschool

We all packed our bags and headed out the door together this morning.  Even McCanless was bright eyed and bushy tailed! (Probably because it was a 9 AM, an hour later than when she and I have to be at Thomas Hart.)  After today, Daddy will get the morning task of delivering Mary Clare to 2K.  This is probably the last day she’ll be coordinated and on time.  

First Day of 2K for MC

 

First Day of 2K for MC 2

“How old are you Mary Clare?”  She held up her hand of “Five” but said two.

First Day of 2K for MC 3

Below is McCanless on her first day of 2K..

McCAnless's first day of 2K

Reese was there when we arrived in the parking lot.  We were the first ones!

First Day of 2K for MC 4

Mary Clare grabbed his hand and marched him right up to the door like she knew exactly what was going on.  I know this is going to be a great year!  We love Ms. Jordan, their 2K teacher!

First Day of 2K for MC 5

First Day of 2K for MC 9

McCanless also attended FBWP in 2K and 3K.  She felt it was her duty to show Mary Clare and Reese the ropes.  She even pointed out to Reese the principal’s office.  Which is quiet funny considering she visited Ms. Jane there once herself in 3K.    

First Day of 2K for MC 6

Poor Reese.  He just didn’t want his Mommy to leave at first.

First Day of 2K for MC 8

Mary Clare didn’t hesitate.  She began playing immediately and never once looked my way.  McCanless and I snuck out just in case.  Although, I’m really just telling myself that.  When I arrived at 12 to pick her up, her teachers told me that she had the best time and never once shed a tear or looked for me.  Oh, well.  I guess that’s a good thing, right?  I,however, shed a few once we left the parking lot.  My sweet baby girl is in school.  

First Day of 2K for MC 7

So, this is how I left my baby girl.  On top of blocks explaining to Ms. Jordan that she was “on stage.”   All the world’s your stage, sweet Mary Clare.  Mommy is so very proud of you.

July visit with Mimi and Bapa…

In July, we met Emerson’s (Mary Clare’s first and best heart friend) family on Hilton Head Island for lots of fun in the sun!  Later in the week, Casey, Molly and Will joined us for lots of fun with the Haarlow crew!

HHI w Emerson I

HHI w Emerson II

HHI w Emerson III

McCanless and Lauren, Emerson’s first cousin, really hit it off and had such a great time!  I’m so thankful that this family is in our lives!

HHI w Emerson IV

After a day at the beach and pool, we all went to Harbour Town to see Shannon Tanner play!

HHI w Emerson V

Erica, Emerson, Mary Clare and me…Mary Clare was having way too much fun to stop for a photo opp.

HHI w Emerson VI

The girls ran themselves silly and were such a mess!  What low oxygen levels??

HHi w Emerson 18

HHI w Emerson 19

HHI w Emerson VII

Two heart grands…Mary Clare’s Mimi and Emerson’s Nana.

HHI w Emerson VIII

The ladies at Forsythe Jewelers in HH have been following Mary Clare’s story and wanted Mimi to introduce all of us.  They were so sweet and treated the girls to such cute bracelets and rings especially for little girls!

HHI w Emerson IX

Mimi treated Molly and McCanless to a night at the Main Street Children’s Theater.  They saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and each came home with golden tickets!

HHI w Emerson X

“Lady Ride” with Bapa is always filled with laughs!

HHI w Emerson 20

Nothing like sprinklers and popsicles!

HHI w Emerson 21

HHI w Emerson 22

HHI w Emerson 17

“Baby Weel” as Mary Clare says.

HHI w Emerson 11

The neighborhood gang!

HHI w Emerson 13

HHI w Emerson 23

HHI w Emerson 24

The infamous McCanless pose…

HHI w Emerson 25

…and Mary Clare’s attempt.  As usual, trying to emulate her idol.

HHI w Emerson 15

On to Shelter Cove to see Greg Russell play!

HHI w Emerson 16

Case and Will

HHI w Emerson 26

HHI w Emerson 28

HHI w Emerson 14

 

HHI w Emerson 12

We love summer on Hilton Head Island with Mim and Bapa and our Haarlow cousins!

 

 

Thank Heaven for little girls…

Another great thing about living in our little Black Creek neighborhood is all of the girls!  We all know each other in our neighborhood, quite well,  (almost too well) and within the four houses on our corner, three of the four houses contain two little girls!  That’s six little girls between the ages of 2-8.  It’s no wonder you often see little princesses in sparkling shoes running between our houses, sharing pink scooters, and swapping dress-up clothes.  Last night, one of our neighbors invited us over for movie night.  We walked over to their backyard, which was whopping 58 steps from our driveway to theirs; I counted!  Their dad set up a “Screen on the Green” backyard style!  We stuffed ourselves with popcorn, ice cream, and cookies while watching Barbie Mariposa under the stars.

Movie Night at the Nuts 1

Movie Night at the Nuts 2

Mary Clare is still not impressed with animated anything (not even princess movies.) She was more into dressing up…

Movie Night at the Nuts 3

…and eating sweets!

Movie Night at the Nuts 4

Movie Night at the Nuts 5

Dancing as the credits rolled on and Barbie music blasted throughout the neighborhood…

This is the face of a little girl

Last Day at the pool 2

that wants to be just like this little girl…

Last Day at the Pool

Can you tell?

Sweet Sundays…

Nothing like a Sunday afternoon nap after church, especially with this view.

View from here 1

If I lay on my left side on my bed, this is my view.  Through the doorway, through the hall, through the playroom and into my sleeping babies’ room.

View from here 2

A closer peek…

…much needed after McCanless’ late night, last night.   After our own church service, I drove to another local church right down town, which is attended by many, many of our friends, by the way.  (If you recall, McCanless spent the night with her bestest pals Eliza and Jennie last night.)  I was to meet them in their church parking lot for the kid exchange.  I drove up and McCanless had on winter boots, the Sunday dress I packed and tangled, sweaty hair.  Okay, it could be worse, I thought.  At least she had on a dress, and she was probably just hot and sweaty from playing outside…at church…and the boots, oh well.    When McCanless saw that I was there to pick her up, she  immediately began to cry, to put it nicely.  She was an utter, blubbering mess.  I literally had to drag her to our car.  She did not want to leave Jennie and Eliza.  Her pals’ mom began to tell me that they had wonderful time and were all in bed by 10:30 (Yikes), except McCanless (Double Yikes) She just wouldn’t go to sleep.  I even left the t.v. on all night  for her.”  (Okay, so now I see the problem.)  Mom then tells me the “funniest story.”  “All of the girls stood up in front of church during a baptism, ran circles around the church squeeling and then just ran right out of church.”  (Tripple Yikes)  So it should probably be no surprise that not only is this one of the biggest churches in town, many of our THA families attend, AND it just so happens that Ms. Susie, her brand new 5K teacher is a member of the choir.  Needless to say, naps are mandatory today.  

 

Miss South Carolina visits THA…on the web!!

Go here to see a clip of Miss SC’s visit to THA last week.  McCanless is still talking about her!  At about 1:44 you can see my little McCanless on the very front row with a big pink flower in her hair.

Just a journal post…

No photos, just a quick update as I wait on Mel, as usual.  Tonight we are going to an annual “Pre-Football Kick-off Party…while we are all still undefeated,”  as the invitation reads.  It’s always fun to see how many of “Mel’s” Stadium pants and skirts show up at the party.  I’m sporting my garnet USC skirt, which just makes me so excited and so ready for USC football season!!

We had a great Saturday today.  Much needed after our usual week of dance, church, homework, life.  Mel took the girls to the Midnight Rooster for waffles this morning and then headed over to Byerly Park for “Bark at the Park,” a 5K fundraising race benefiting the Darlington County Humane Society….great cause.   Mel was to present the awards, and from what I’ve heard, McCanless and Mary Clare upstaged him and stole the show. I have yet to get the true story from Mel, however.  After lunch the girls and I hit the pool, with everyone else in town.  About 4 hours later, sun-kissed and waterlogged, we loaded up with the Fort girls and headed home. (It seems we never leave the pool without a pal or two with us.)  We played around outside for a while, I threw all four girls in the tub and it was time for pizza!!  Mel is now on his way back to the Fort house to deliver McCanless, Eliza and Jennie for a sleepover over there.  He’ll drop off Mary Clare at BB and PaPa’s house and we’ll have a few hours alone for the first time in probably 6 months.  Life is busy.  Life is crazy.  Life is great.  

It’s that time of year again…

Thomas Hart Academy Sally Foster Wrapping Paper Time!!

It’s August and just as stores are beginning to flood the isles with Halloween costumes and decorations, it’s now time to think Christmas! (Let’s just forget about November all together, shall we?)   If you want to purchase Sally Foster wrapping paper (and help out THA) just log onto www.SallyFoster.com, buy away and plug in McCanless’ seller ID.  McCanless will certainly appreciate it when she receives her special plastic participation toy!  More importantly, I’ll appreciate you helping out our school!!  Thanks so much!!

McCanless’ Seller ID:  280988


A few McCanlessisms for today…

Kelly Sloan, Miss South Carolina and Miss Hartsville visited THA today and read to all of our classes.  McCanless was most excited to explain to me what she was wearing!  She was super impressed with her sparkly crown, short black hair and beautiful clothes.   “MOM, she even had on Jimmy Choos!”  Floored, I asked her how she knew and why she cared that our state beauty had on designer shoes!?  She said, “Well, I asked her.”  

Tonight at the dinner table, she was very inquisitive about Daddy’s race.  Mel was working late, so I explained as best as I could all of her questions regarding the upcoming Mayor’s Election.  Over every other bite or so, she would stop and ask when Daddy would be in charge of Hartsville, or if that meant she could do whatever she wanted in Hartsville, or if we had to move to the White House.  (Hmmm, not yet.  Apparently, she has higher expectations for this race than any of us.)  She continued to quiz me and finally asked me where Daddy was running?  

“Daddy is running in this race.  How long will it take to get there?”   “Does he have to run around Hartsville like in the Turkey Trot?”   

Tiny Dancer

Tiny Dancer

Tiny Dancer II

Week in Review…

Hartsville Idol III

After the last few school-free, summer nights (like those at Hartsville Idol above)

Screen on the Green I

…we had a hugely successful “Screen on the Green” fundraiser for the American Heart Association…

Screen on the Green II

…where over 400 people gathered on the lawn of Burry Park to watch Kung Fu Panda…

Screen on the Green III

…and Mel…

Screen on the Green IV

photo shoot behind scenes

…we also had an impromptu photo shoot that I wasn’t thrilled about at first…

photo shoot behind the scenes II

….a few behind-the-scenes photos….

photo shoot behind the scenes III

photo shoot behind the scenes IV

…because it was just hours after my first work day back at school…but I did lighten up a bit, see?  (I was laughing at the girls rolling around on the ground.)

family 2

…and speaking of first days of school…

First Day of 5K for McCanless

McCanless is still not a morning person….

First Day of School I

5-year-old Kindergarten started out rocky….

First Day of School II

…until she found her pal, Eliza, and met Ms. Susie’s pet, Fluffy.

First Day of 2 Tap for Mary Clare I

…and speaking of firsts.  Mary Clare had her very first day of dance class, on McCanless’ very first day of kindergarten…

First Day of 5K for McCanless End of Day

…to which I was just a wee bit late in the pick-up line because of Mary Clare’s dance class.

Reese turns 2

Reese, turned two!!!

mary Clare does her own makeup

…and Mary Clare learned all about mascara.

Tonight, we are all tuckered out from our first official full week back at school…

Mel's Soiree

…well, that and Mel’s blue jeans, barbecue and bluegrass party officially announcing his run for Mayor last night.

Mel's Soiree II

Mel's soiree IV

…great food, great band, great friends.  Former SC Governor, David Beasley introduced Mel.  Mel did what Mel does best, spoke and entertained a crowd…

Mel's Soiree III

Mary Clare was more impressed with the biscuits, however.

Today, we all went to the City Hall to watch Daddy officially file for the Mayor’s race.  We even had photos taken by the Hartsville Messenger.   McCanless thinks Daddy is famous because he has been in the newspaper and on TV13 news.  I told her that Daddy doesn’t hold a candle to her.  She and Mary Clare have way more followers than he does!

Night Night

…so Mel is out alone tonight, emceeing “Rock the Block” at Burry Park while the girl’s team settles in.  We do have a busy weekend ahead…we missed the Red Fox game tonight, but there’s always Hartsville Idol and the Antioch Rodeo tomorrow night!  We are also hitting the road for a very special birthday party in Augusta on Sunday!  Mary Clare’s best heart buddy, Emerson is two tomorrow!!

“Hartsville Idol”

Hartsville Idol I

Hartsville Idol Mel Speaking

Last week, we all went to Hartsville Idol. (Yes, Hartsville’s very own version of American Idol complete with judging and weekly eliminations!)  It has been great fun to gather every Saturday night with so many other families in Burry Park and listen to great (and some not so great) local singers.  Last week Mel took the stage during “Idol” to announce a fundraiser for the American Heart Association, “Screen on the Green.”

Screen on the Green, has been something he has wanted to do for over a year now, and it finally came to fruition this week. I was quite impressed, so I’ll toot his horn…  The whole idea was Mel’s; he found sponsors, and rented the huge screen. He arranged to give out free popcorn and drinks to everyone.   He  also created the posters and fliers, and spoke at the event.  It was a huge success!

Hartsville Idol II

Mel and McCanless handing out Screen on the Green flyers.

Hartsville Idol IV

Back to school, dance, church, political races…the usual.

So much going on.  So little time to share!  I will get around to it, once I get back into our routine!  Whew, summer has been hard to break this year!

Mel for Mayor

www.melformayor.com

Invitation-for-web

I literally could have killed Mel yesterday.

family 2

Until I saw this.

Yesterday, at 4:30 after my first grueling day back at school, Mel texted me that we would have photos taken with Steve Roos at 6:30.  “What day?” was my reply.  Tonight.  After a slight fit on my part and kicking and screaming, I agreed.   Wouldn’t you know it.  It happened to be Monday.  In Hartsville, every boutique, every children’s shop, EVERYTHING is closed on Monday.  No new photo outfits for this photography session.   I had to throw together whatever I could find.  I usually pride myself in perfectly coordinating outfits for my brood on two occasions:  Sunday and Photography.  (Those are the only chances I get with McCanless.)   I couldn’t decide if we should break out the new fall wardrobe or find what was left of our too tight, too bright, summer wear.  The 100 degree weather and 100% humidity decided for me.  I threw on  the usual, jeans and a t-shirt that I happened to wear to school that day, bathed the girls and even let McCanless decide what to wear.   We were smiling and walking down Laurel Oak in downtown Hartsville by 7PM, and it couldn’t have turned out better, even if last minute.  If I do say so myself.

It’s amazing how life changes with the seasons.

family

Summer 2009

family 3

Winter 2008

A family swing photo wasn’t taken in 2007.  I imagine I was a bit overwhelmed with bringing Mary Clare home after her birth and first surgery in the summer months and anticipating her second surgery which was in December of 2007.

chrismtas card 2006 copyFall 2006

This last photo was a Christmas card telling the world of our new addition, sweet Mary Clare.  When this photo was taken I was about 14 weeks pregnant and had never even heard of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.

Tally Ho Equestrian Camp 2009

Equestrian Camp 2009

Equestrian Camp 2009 VII

Equestrian Camp 2009 II

Equestrian Camp 2009 III

Equestrian Camp 2009 IV

Equestrian Camp 2009 V

Equestrian Camp 2009 I

Equestrian Camp 2009 VI

McCanless had a great time at “horse camp” this week, and we were so proud of her at the show-offs.  She has ridden ponies a few times at birthday parties, but this was her first time ever learning to ride and actually riding alone.   She wasn’t nervous at all and seemed so at ease on her horse, Freckles.  Mommy was a bit nervous when she took off of the far side of the pasture alone, but she handled him well, and came right back around.

There is a first and a fourth for everything…

Haircut 2009 VI

Mary Clare’s first haircut.

Haircut 2009 II

No, we don’t make a habit of going around town barefoot.  She simply made herself right at home, as she does everywhere, tossing her pink Chucks on the floor.

Haircut 2009 III

haircut 2009 IV

She looks pretty content, but what you can’t see are all of the books piled on the counter that I had to read to her, toys to keep her distracted, stylist tools in her lap, etc.,etc.  We also had to stop midway and allow her to twirl in her black “Princess Cape.”

Haircut 2009 V

She sat so still for the haircut (well, most of it anyway) that she would not stand still long enough for me to get a shot of her sweet face with her new do…this was about all I could get.

Haircut 2009 I

McCanless’ fourth professional haircut.  Honestly, she has had only six hair cuts in her entire life.  Four professional haircuts by certified true stylists, one safety scissor “self-do” days after her fourth birthday which resulted in a mega mullet and one trim from Nonnie to “shape up the ends.”  That’s it!  Moments after her trim, she requested a ponytail, so I didn’t get an after shot of hers either, although there isn’t much to it.  She made Ms. Stylist promise  only to take off a fraction.  “Girls have long hair, you know.”

‘Too Much Trouble to Even Attempt’ Bake Oven

Easy_Bake_Oven_&_Snack_Center_TEAL-797849

I’m not sure who invented the so called “Easy Bake Oven.”  Betty Crocker, maybe?  I don’t really care, although I must say that if the toy makers who did invent it, continue to put it on the market, they must change the name to suit it more appropriately.  If anything, to warn mothers.  It seems to have become some sort of rite of passage for every girl to have at least owned an Easy Bake Oven.  I remember mine; although I don’t remember my mother helping me bake with it.  I’m sure she must have.  The directions are way too complicated for any five-year-old to follow.   I also remember all of my friends having their own Easy Bake Oven.  McCanless has hers thanks to Aunt Kate this past Christmas.  Although it has morphed into a more modern looking machine, it is still the same plastic box that only holds one pan at a time which must be shoved in and out with the yellow “Easy Bake Oven Wand.”   No real working buttons.  No door.  I vow here and now to buy every one of Kate’s children their very own Easy Bake Oven. I just hope it doesn’t get fancy and “Easy” by that point.

It isn’t so much the mess that ripping open packets of powdered frosting and batter make, or even the dozens of tiny bowls, miniture spoons, or doll sized spatulas required that are hindersome.  What really  bothers me is that after spending three hours measuring “1/4 teaspoons” and drops, and shoving cake pans into the side of the oven with that double sided hook arm “wand,” and prying cakes and cookies off of tin with bent spatulas, you get two quarter sized cookies and one pancake size cake.   Not even enough to share.  Although, McCanless always finds a way to cut and serve her very own “homemade” baked treats to all of us.  Very “Five Loaves and Two Fishes” reminiscent. Last night, I had a piece of cake no bigger than a crouton.  Hardly worth the effort put into helping her make that crouton sized piece of cake.  I will say, however, even though we bake together often in our “big people” sized kitchen, there is something special about pulling out that Easy Bake Oven with all of its miniature paraphernalia that is just different from whipping up an adult sized batch of brownies or cupcakes.

I have never taken the time to photograph McCanless with her Oven in all of her glory, party because I’m trying to keep Mary Clare away from the burning light bulb and decorating goodies located ever so conveniently for her on the playroom table.  Mary Clare will have her own turn one day.  Maybe her very own Easy Bake Oven.

I guess I should photograph McCanless with her treasured Oven and her fresh baked minuscule goodies.  Someday she may be doing the same with her little girl and I can assure her that yes, I did help her with her “Too Much Trouble to Even Attempt” Bake Oven.   So, I guess all and all, it is worth the trouble.

easybakeKerri

Remember this?  I googled and found this image, which is exactly like the Easy Bake Oven I had as a child.  Circa 1982.

Dance Camp 2009

Dance Camp IV

Dance Camp I

Dance Camp III

McCanless attended dance camp this summer and had a blast.  As you can tell, Mary Clare did too!  Every morning, Mary Clare would pull out her tutu for dance when McCanless got ready!  I had to let her stay for the daily warm-up so she would think that she went to dance camp too!

Last week before school begins…

Hopefully this week will help kick us back into some sort of routine!  McCanless is going to Equestrian Camp every morning from 8-12!  Nothing like squeezing in one last summer camp before school starts, right!?

P.S. I left my camera battery charger cord (say that three times fast) on Hilton Head Island, thus the recent photo-less posts!  Not to worry-Mimi is, as usual, sending all of the left behind loot that we left last week.  Thanks, Mimi!

Whew…

Dare I say I’m almost ready for school to begin?  We have had a fantastically busy month, have more freckles, more tan lines, and are utterly exhausted!  We’ve just returned from a 10 day Hilton Head Hiatus, and boy do we have a long way to go before we are all ready for the “school schedule” to kick in.   I have exactly 11 days to whip our internal clocks in order, purchase items on our massive back-to-school supply lists, stock the house with lunch box essentials, and reverse summer slack slouching habits.

I know that I’ll soon be counting down the days until Thanksgiving, then Christmas vacation to break the routine, but for now, I’m ready!  Bring on the bell schedule!

Sweet, Sweet Child…

Stinker I

 

Just had to take a moment to “jot” this down…

McCanless has had her fair share of humorous church stories, although some didn’t quite seem so “humorous” at the moment.   And over time, our fellow parishners have learned to chuckle quietly at McCanless’ and Mel’s Sunday morning antics.  And now, my sweet Mary Clare is in on fun.  Sometimes I have to sit in between Mel and McCanless with Mary Clare on my lap to keep them all somewhat behaved and seated in the pew.   Thank goodness the girls are only in the service for communion every Sunday, which is certainly enough.

This Sunday after the service, as usual, I had sereral folks tell me how much they enjoy watching my family in church. Tongue in cheek, I’m sure. (We do sit in the very front pew, directly in front of Father Michael and in perfect view of the entire congregation.)    There were also three very sweet ladies who said they adored listening to Mary Clare sing.  She usually belts out her own melodic version when she hears our choir singing hymns.  This Sunday, they said they were so touched to hear her loudly sing, “I  WUV JE-SUS!”  What a sweet, sweet child, and I agreed.  Of course.

What I failed to mention, and I hope this doesn’t mean I was lying in church, is that she was belting out lyrics to a Taylor Swift song.  “I WEAR T-SHIRTS.”    Apparently, Mel and McCanless found it entertaining to whisper a few lines in her ear only to hear her finish the chorus so loudly in her “sweet, sweet voice” it nearly overpowered the choir…over and over and over and over.

Stinker II

The baby boys…

Beau Ty II

Nope, that’s not a dress-up fur stole McCanless has on in this photo.  They are the newest addition to our family.  A set of fuzzy, yellow, twin kitties born on the Woodham Farm that, apparently, I promised her a couple of months ago.  I’m not sure why, how or when this “promise” occurred, although I suspect Nonnie had more to do with it than me.  Nonetheless, we picked them up from Nonnie’s house today and brought them to live in the city. 

BeauTy I

Meet Beau

Beau Ty III

and Ty.

 

The Paci isn’t going anywhere anytime soon…

 

Paci I

Paci II

Paci III

…but the diapers just may!  Mary Clare has done so well with potty training!  In fact, yesterday when I realized that I had forgotten to pick up a prescription, I threw Mary Clare and McCanless in the car to rush out, and I completely forgot what Mary Clare was wearing.  We made it through the pharmacy and on to Wal-mart before I realized that she had on her BIG GIRL panties!!  Then I thought, what better place to “roll the dice.”  If she were to have a “whoops,”  I could just buy new panties, right?  So, we took our time and I didn’t worry about it.  McCanless even looked up her back-to-school supplies. We loaded back up to head home (with washable carseat cover) and WE MADE IT HOME!  No accidents!  

Big girl beds, big girl panties…if only they made a big girl paci.  How in the world am I going to give that up? Advice is certainly welcome.

2009 4th of July Week with the Woodhams

Woodham Beach Trip 8

We spent another fabulous week at the beach with the Woodham crew…

Woodham Beach Trip 1

Woodham Beach Trip 3

Happy 4th of July!

Woodham Beach Trip 2

Woodham Beach Trip 4

William and Kacy

Woodham Beach Trip 5

 

Woodham Beach Trip 6

We even hit the water park…

Woodham Beach Trip 9

Woodham Beach Trip 10

Woodham Beach Trip 11

 

Woodham Beach Trip 12

McCanless and Kacy racing down the racing slide, one of the fastest and tallest slides at the water park!  (Kacy won)

Woodham Beach Trip 13

Crazy Kacy

Woodham Beach Trip 14

 

Woodham Beach Trip 15

Kate and the girls ready for the beach!


Woodham Beach Trip 16

We even made stepping stones with the girls’ handprints…until Mary Clare decided to go impressionistic on us.

Woodham Beach Trip 7

 

Updates…

I’m updating from the couch in the den in front of the television that I’ve forgotten how to turn on as the girls sleep in their bedroom ALONE.  If you aren’t quite familiar with our usual sleeping arrangements, let me clarify.  The girls are asleep in their own beds in their own room alone.  For the first time since I became pregnant with baby number two and realized that our children would have to share a room, I think it may actually work.  If both girls sleep through the night without waking the other and if I don’t hear a thud and tiny foot steps running down the hall to our bedroom tonight it will be a miracle.  If we all wake up in the same spot that we all fell asleep in, THAT will be a miracle.  It is working at this moment, which is usually how we operate.  I did have to lie down with Mary Clare in one twin bed while holding McCanless’ hand in the other twin bed until they both fell asleep, as did my arm.  BUT, it worked.  Dare I attempt to get a sweet photo of my girls asleep in their room in their twin beds?  Don’t think so.

As far as the potty training goes, if it were possible to remain at home for an entire 12 hour stretch, it just may work.  Dance camp, grocery trips and pool outings have just gotten in our way.  While we were home today, Mary Clare wore her panties, or birthday suit.   She never once had a “whoops” and went to the potty several times, even without me reminding her.  Of course, she always reminded me to give her the Potty Prize, a Skittle.  I’m just not ready to venture out without a diaper just yet.  This was much easier with McCanless, without the added distraction of another child, that is.   We’ll see.

The Peach Festival at McLeod Farm

We had a great weekend!  Mel was able to go with us to the Marketplace downtown AND the McLeod Farm Peach Festival on Saturday!

Saturday at the Peach Farm II

Peach Ice Cream, Peach Enchiladas, Peaches, Peach Shortcake, Peach Lemonade, Peach Bread…

Saturday at the Peach Farm

McCanless calling her friend, Eliza, to make sure she would be at the pool later on…Is she really only five?

Saturday at the Peach Farm III

The Ag Simulator!

Saturday at the Peach Farm IV

Mary Clare was not so sure about the slide the first time…

Saturday at the Peach Farm V

Horse-drawn covered wagon ride

Saturday at the Peach Farm VI

Cheese!  ( I guess we should say, PEACH!)

Saturday Marketplace

Saturday I

Saturday II

Saturday III

Saturday IV

Saturday V

Yum Marketplace

Saturday running

Saturday VIII

Wiener Washing

Wet Weiner Washing Wednesdays

Wet Weiner Washing Wednesdays II

Dressed for Success!

 

Dressed for success

Potty Training Update:  Mary Clare is trucking along with the potty training fairly well. (Mommy’s fault…Potty Training was not on our “Vacation To-Do list”.)  Now that we will be home for a few weeks, I’m implementing potty training boot camp!

We know she is ready, now we are!  She loves her potty and loves going, especially when McCanless, Mel and I do the potty dance and she gets a Skittle!

Mel and I decided to kick up the potty training a notch when we heard her screaming in the middle of the night, “Mommy, diaper wet.  Mel, need a new one. Diaper. Mommy, I WET!!  Change me!  Mel, need a new one. Diaper!!”   She usually wakes up with a dry diaper and we rush to the potty in the morning which can be a quick and early wake-up call for us, but I think its working!  When we are home I let her wear her birthday suit, and as you can see, she finds ways to accessorize that too!

Fingers Crossed…

Mary Clare in her Big Girl Bed

Big Girl Bed for Mary Clare I

Big Girl Bed for Mary clare II

Big girl Bed for Mary Clare III

McCanless spent the night with her friend Eliza this weekend, so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to try out the big girl bed rails that have been hanging out in the attic since McCanless mastered the art of big girl bed sleeping without falling out of bed.  I swore that Mary Clare would be in her crib until she grew out of it, literally.  (We made the mistake of taking McCanless out of the crib at 18 months and regret it nightly when we feel a five-year-old foot in our side or face-She has hardly made it a night alone, all night, in her own bed since we took her out of her crib.)  Mary Clare, now, has begun to completely throw a fit when she even looks at her crib.  She hates it.  She loathes it.  She cries until she throws up when she is in it….So, here we go again.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Hot Hot Hot

Happy July 4th!! Mary Clare is napping under the umbrella, McCanless and Mel are floating in the ocean and I’m sitting in the sun playing with my new Iphone. Woodham family cookout tonight and fireworks on the beach! Life is perfect!

The After Party

The After Party I

As soon as Mary Clare awoke from her long (for once) post-party nap, she dug into her fabulous birthday presents!

The After Party II

The After Party III

…and what’s a birthday without a Mexican dinner?

The After Party IV

…in Fancy Nancy costume, of course!

A Tutu Party for Mary Clare

tutu cute invite

We are too too excited!  Mary Clare is turning two!

We are having a Tutu Party and inviting you!

You must wear a tutu, for plain clothes won’t do!

We’ll whirl and twirl and have birthday cake too!


P.S. We are tutu excited, and tickled pink too.

If a tutu is not for you, then pink will do!

lost a star

The Tutu Cake almost didn’t make it to the party.  The birthday girl decided to get a close look and try out a star to two!

Tutu 2

Tutu 3

Tutu 4

Tutu 20

Emerson, Mary Clare’s best heart friend, came to help celebrate, too!

tutu 7

Tutu 8

tutu 6

Tutu 9

Tutu 25

Tutu 10

Tutu 11

Tutu 12

More Tutu Party V

Tutu 13

Tutu 21

Tutu 14

Tutu 15

Tutu 16

Tutu 26

Tutu 24

Tutu 17

MOre Tutu party VI

Tutu 27

Tutu 18

More Tutu Party I

Tutu 19

More Tutu Party

More Tutu Party II

MOre Tutu Party III

MOre tutu party IV

tutu 22

Tutu many presents

Although we asked for and received many generous Annabelle Basket donations in lieu of birthday gifts, Mary Clare received tutu many fabulous gifts, too!

tutu 23

Happy 2nd Birthday to our little Sweetheart!

Tutu asleep

When you grow up living in the country, you learn to get creative with your surroundings.  Without many neighbors, my sisters, brother and I had each other.  For my poor brother that meant having to endure dressing-up, playing with girls and learning way too quickly how girls “operate.”  We did, however, have THE most fun despite being 20 minutes from civilization and all of our friends.

Not many people can say that they have been “slung” behind a huge tractor on the top of a sandbox cover through snow filled streets with the entire neighborhood. All five of us.  My granddad had a convenience store just around the corner which meant orange push-ups and fried “tator wedges” at any time of day for us!  We had picnics in the fields and could whip up our very own water park with just a few kiddie pools, the water hose and our sliding board and sandbox.  My sister, Kacy has such a huge heart for animals and was always trying to save an animal or two or three of some sort.  To this day, I’m not sure if mom really wasn’t aware of all of the animals she tried to hide upstairs in her room or she just ignored it.  We hatched eggs, got bucked off of horses, painted rocks, slid down the hardwood staircase in plastic orange sleds, made up dances and plays and performed them for huge audiences of three for small admission prices of course, dressed up Alston, roller skated on our wet soapy driveway, and got into so much trouble!

Although my girls are growing up in the “city limits,”  I”m thrilled that they still experience a bit of what I did as a child.  When my sisters, brother and I get together out at mom’s, it is as if we never grew up. Now, we all play freeze tag in the yard, Mom takes the girls on adventures “hunting” pecans (we finally realized what she was doing), they go on candy shopping sprees at “Pa’s store”, we gather yard sticks for sundown fire pits and mostly, we laugh.  Some things never change.

Country I

Country II

Country III

Country IV

Pennington Beach Week 2009

Pennington Beach Week 09-I

The entire Pennington Crew loaded up and hit the beach last week.

Under the tent…Aunt Michael, Uncle Michael, (nope, not a typo) Aunt Liz, PaPa, McCanless, Robert, Me, Mel, BB, Reese and a napping Mary Clare

Pennington Beach Week 09-II

Pennington Beach Week 09-III

Pennington Beach Week 09-IV

Nothing cuter than cousin hineys in an outdoor shower!

Pennington Beach Week 09-V

Boat rides with Uncle Michael

Pennington Beach Week 09-VI

Beach Yoga with Papa

Pennington Beach Week 09-VII

A sandy peanut butter sandwich in a pail!

Pennington Beach Week 09-VIII

Pennington Beach Week 09-IX

Sweet Reese

Pennington Beach Week 09-X

Pennington Beach Week 09-XII

…and yes, there were a few moments like this.

Pennington Beach Week 09-XIII

To which Mary Clare just rolled her eyes…

Pennington Beach Week 09-XIV

Pennington Beach Week 09 adult fun

Pennington Beach Week 09-XVI

Looking at the alligators in Georgetown with BB.

Pennington Beach Week 09-XVII

Mary Clare’s first water slide!

Pennington Beach Week 09-XVIII

Pennington Beach Week 09-XIX

Pennington Beach Week 09-XX

Pennington Beach Week 09-XX-B

Beach Bums

Pennington Beach Week 09-XXI

McCanless and Mel at the “Princess Breakfast Palace”.  (As soon as we walked into this perfectly pink interior Pancake House, Mary Clare grew wide-eyed and proclaimed it the Princess Palace.  She thinks anything pink is for princesses.)

Pennington Beach Week 09-XXII

Pennington Beach Week 09 thanks

Thanks Papa and BB for a wonderful time at the beach!

MUSC Cardiology Visit

Yay!  Mary Clare had a great check-up yesterday with Dr. Forbus, her cardiologist at MUSC.  I was a bit nervous aobut the echo and EKG because it has been a while, and well, she is two and is completely acting like it these days.  First and foremost, her heart function looked great!  Whew!  Can you believe it has been a year since her last echo?  (I didn’t realize that and couldn’t believe it!)  Her EKG also looked great!   She sat very quietly through both the echo and EKG!  (I couldn’t believe that either.)  If you have ever had either you know what I mean.  She has to have about 15 “stickers” and wires placed on her chest and sit still and quiet for a few minutes (consecutive minutes) before a good reading, and it took no time for Miss Mary Clare.  Her echo went just as well.  She jumped up on the table in the dark room, allowed the ulrasound tech to apply jelly and “take pictures” for quite a while.  I was completely amazed.  I’ve never seen Mary Clare so content and quiet.

She charmed all of the nurses and doctors, as usual, and was a complete doll for her entire three hour visit.  She is up to 23 lbs and her O2 saturation levels were in the upper 80’s!  BP also looked great.  A “little blue,” but that seems to be typical for Mary Clare.  (Although, it was a bit difficult to read her fingernail color, as they typically do to get a good color check.  Mary Clare’s nail color just happened to be Double Decker Red, thanks to Aunt Kate.)

Since her heart function looks great, all we do now is wait.  She needs to be about 30 pounds for her next surgery, the Fontan, unless her oxygen levels begin to drop, in which case, they will operate sooner.  Her next appointment isn’t until December.   She will have another echo, EKG and blood work to check her blood gas levels.  What a relief to know that she is as healthy on the inside as she seems to be on the outside!   Now Mary Clare and I can focus on more important matters, like a Tutu for 2 birthday party this weekend!  We have plenty of pink princess tutu’s and sparkle rice krispy treat wands to make!

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This mess in my house…

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was not made by the kids in my house.

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Rather, the funeral director-by-day/creative entrepreneur/web designer/photographer extraordinaire-by-night in my house, otherwise known as my hubby, Mel, who just happens to be running for Mayor of Hartsville.

Have I mentioned that?

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Mary Clare thought it was fantastic to have a photography studio in our dining room this weekend…

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to show off her brand new pink sparkle shoes.

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Meet the Bailes (Tygh) and Pennington (Mel) of Pennington & Bailes Clothing Company.

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and their tiniest mascot, Mary Clare.

She’s “tutu” cute and will soon be two!

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Tutu party 5

Sleep Over 1

“We have a limo.  Do you want to take the limo the movies tonight?”

“You really have a limo?”

“Yes, my dad keeps it at the funeral home.”

is what I overheard McCanless discussing with her friends, Jennie and Eliza tonight as they were getting all dolled up for their movie date with Mel.  Tonight is a milestone for our little girl.  It is her first big girl sleepover.  It marks the first of many, many sleepless slumber play dates, I’m sure.  This was all Mel’s fault idea, as he adores Jennie and Eliza and has been hyping up these girls for months for a sleepover at our house!  (McCanless has stayed with them several times, so I guess it is all fair play.)  He was just as thrilled as they were, however.  As I sit here in the momentary peace and quiet as Mary Clare sleeps and I await their arrival from the movies, I wonder if Jennie and Eliza will make it through their first overnighter, if there will be a quarrel, if I can get them to bed at a decent hour, if Mel actually went to get the funeral home limo to ride 1/2 mile downtown to the movie theater?  But mostly, I wonder where the years have gone?  Is she really at this age? Five and a HALF she is always sure to tell anyone who asks.   Time certainly flies.  If only tonight would.

Prestwood Pool

With summer comes

daily scrub downs in midday bubble baths

in attempts to remove caked on sun block after

ice cream sundae parties on Fun Filled Fridays, and noticing

new freckles, pink noses, and white hineys.

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This is about all that I see of McCanless once we hit the pool gate.  This year is even easier because I feel comfortable with her in the “big girl pool” alone,  well, with her entourage of pals and the constant watch of the lifeguard, as I play with Mary Clare in the baby pool.  She completely wears herself out playing Marco Polo, and “Pom Pom” in the deep end for hours!

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As does this one splashing and bouncing around in the Baby Pool with all of her baby pals.  Rarely does she make it all the way home without falling asleep on our golf cart ride, which is about three minutes.  Too bad that is about as long as she sleeps!

I spoke too soon…

This morning, as I slowly woke and I realized that my dear hubby had placed our daughter in the bed between me and our other daughter in the wee hours without my awareness, I heard the following… “Mommy, wake up.  Mommy, get up.  Mommy, I need juice.  I need it.  Juice. I can go, too.  Move.  Mommy, get up.  I need it.  Juice.  Here it dis.  Cup.  I can go, too.  Help!!  Mommy, get up.  Hold me, Mommy.  Push wegs.” (As she attempted to push my legs off of the bed.)  When I finally was able to open my eyes, I realized that it was my sweet almost two-year-old.  The same two year old whose verbal skills I was just a bit conerned about several months ago.

Enjoying the moments

A couple of months ago I began a post, kept it in my draft file and deleted it after a week or so.   The post began “I’m back to that place again.”  It was another venting session that allowed me to let go of some of that anxiety I had been facing about Mary Clare’s upcoming surgery.

With her second birthday approaching, the realization of another open heart surgery overwhelms me.  Occasionally,  I sit at my computer late at night and research, read, and cry all over again.   It has been a while .  I would even dare to say that within the previous year there were many days that her little half-heart didn’t cross my mind.  Lately, however, I’ve been feeling exactly like I did when I was pregnant with her.   Scared.  Over the past two years, I have spoken to so many other heart moms; other scared moms who only want to hear answers, grasping for support, seeking  encouragement, and I find myself trying desperately to listen to my own advice as I, myself,  am right back to that place again.  I loved Mary Clare with every ounce of my being before she was born and it was excruciatingly difficult knowing she was inside of me, perfect and healthy, but would endure so much once she was born.  Again, she seems so perfect and healthy and I know that I must let it all go and pray that God will return her safely to me.  Letting go and loss of control is a bit difficult for me, anyone would tell you.  It is especially difficult now when I can close my eyes and see her sweet, chubby  cheeks, mass of messy, yellow curls and hear her tiny two-year-old voice saying, “Wov You, Mommy.”

We have an appointment on June 24 at MUSC, three days before my sweet Mary Clare turns two.  We were told in the beginning that she would have her third surgery between the ages of 3-5.  The time is quickly approaching, as the past 18 months and three days since her last surgery have seemed to fly by.   People tell me often that they don’t know how we do it.  How we face knowing that our baby lives her life with only half of a heart.   Honestly, I don’t know how we do it either.   I’m humbled when I stop and realize that we do in fact have her here with us when so many other heart babies now dance in heaven.   I’m certainly no hero.  Mary Clare is the one who endures so much.  Seeing her is all that I need to continue on.   She is my miracle and everyday, however difficult at times, we continue on and strive to just let go and enjoy every single moment.

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Bapa’s Birthday on Hilton Head Island

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Last week was Bapa’s birthday, so we packed up and hit the road to Hilton Head Island!  Aunt Liz, Aunt Casey, and cousins, Molly and Will also visited!  We had a house full and so much fun!

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Molly and McCanless are 7 months apart and adore each other.

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Pete…

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Repeat!

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Happy Birthday, Bapa!

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After Bapa’s birthday fiesta, we headed to Harbour Town on the trolly to see Gregg Russell.

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Mary Clare wanted a closer look at Mr. Gregg.

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The girls had the best time together!

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Look who found Mimi’s sprinkle stash!  After eating most of the bottle of sprinkles, she dumped the remainder on the rug in the den.

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A tub full of cousins!

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Sweet William

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The girls making shell necklaces with Aunt Casey.

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If you haven’t noticed before now, this is Mary Clare’s “cheese face.”  As soon as she sees my camera, this is the face I get.

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This was taken just before we left.  It is always so hard to say goodbye!

Sweet Mary Clare…almost two!

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More S’mores!

We aren’t quite the Swiss Family Robinson and have never once been camping.  Although we have tossed around the idea of pitching a tent in the front yard, it hasn’t happend yet.   I certainly don’t want to deprive my children of sweet summer camping treats, so we improvised!  S’mores on the gas top, anyone?

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The one benefit…

of having to listen to every Hannah Montana CD 27-7 for the past year or so finally surfaced last night.  The girls and I closed the pool down yesterday afternoon, came home showered together and headed out to a late night dinner minus Daddy, who had a late meeting.   It was just getting dark, our bellies were full, and we were exhausted from our “busy” day.  We rolled down the windows to feel the warm summer night air on the way home.  McCanless, of course, requested the music to be turned up LOUDLY, and for once didn’t mind that it was on “Mommy’s music.”   I laughed as I realized that we were both singing loudly every single word to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, while Mary Clare tried her best to sing along with us.  I loved the moment. I loved being with my girls.  I loved the feeling of summer.  And I really loved that my five-year-old knew every word to one of the greatest songs ever written, thanks to a Hannah Montana re-make.

Showing little sister the ropes…

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“Now this is proper recital jewelry, Mary Clare.”

Just wondering…

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Should a five year old…

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be this excited about…

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no school?

Happy Memorial Day (after)

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We had a beautiful long weekend at the beach with Nonnie and Kate and made it home just in time for a cookout at BB and PaPa’s house yesterday afternoon.  Summer has officially begun.  The girls’ sun kisses faces and bare feet stay dirty.  We play hard and sleep late.  No schedules, no bed times, no alarm clocks.  The only thing on our calendar for this week is pizza night.   Life is fantastic!

We always want what we don’t have!

McCanless wants curly hair so badly!  She is convinced that her friend Anne Dubose, who stays only half day at school, leaves early so her mom  can curl her hair.  She has begged me for months to curl her hair so it will be “just like Anne Dubose’s.”  I’ve tried a a curling brush, curling iron and even thought about trying curling shampoo.  Last week, we took a trip to Sally’s Beauty Supply Store and I found what I thought would do the trick, sponge rollers!  I don’t remember my grandmother having black curlers, only pink, but I was sure they would work, nonetheless! We washed her hair and rolled it up tight.  She was a bit concerned about the rollers falling out during the night, but surprisingly most didn’t.  Daddy laughed hysterically when he came home late that night when he saw our “Sleeping Beauty” in all her glory with a halo of black curlers.

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Poor thing, it completely flopped the next morning.  Thanks for nothing, Sally!

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Little copy cat HAD to have “RO-WERS” in her hair, too!

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They’re pink, right? That matches!

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Last Sunday, after dressing Mary Clare, I told her we only had to put on her “Sunday Shoes” and she would be ready to go!  I left her to play and moments later, as I was dressing myself, I heard loud knocks and thuds coming from the playroom.  I waited for cries and heard nothing, so I continued on.  (If no one screams, usually all is well.)  Then I noticed McCanless and Mary Clare laughing/clomping/sliding/falling/SKATING down the hallway!  Apparently, Mary Clare considers skates to be proper “Sunday shoes.”

School’s out for SUMMER!

Tonight on the way home from our celebration dinner, McCanless asked me what she would do tomorrow, now that school is over.  After I told her that she could sleep in and do whatever she wants to do, she got wide-eyed, smiled and grew extremely quiet.  I could tell she was contemplating the very idea.  “But Mommy, what WILL I DO?”  She can’t quite grasp it!  Little does she know I’ve got plenty up my sleeve…cheer camp, investigation camp, bible school, dance camp, swim lessons, maybe tennis lessons, soccer camp, etc., etc., etc.

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First Day of 4K-August 2008

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Last Day of 4K-May 2009

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McCanless and Eliza signing yearbooks.

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McCanless will certainly miss Ms. Chure next year!!

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McCanless requested Miyami’s Japanese Restaurant to celebrate her fabulous 4K year!  I guess this makes it official…It’s summer!

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The tiniest “K-er” in the house, Mary Clare will begin 2K in the fall!

 

Lions and Tigers and Butterflies…

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The THA Spring Musical had a jungle theme this year.  After weeks of discussing what McCanless should be, we narrowed it down to a butterfly, a peacock or a fairy.  I figured that the butterfly was probably the closest we would get to a true jungle animal; so butterfly it was!  (Luckily, there were other girls who felt the same about those jungle animal costumes, so McCanless wasn’t the only butterfly!)

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My little Monarch and her pal, Eliza, the colorful butterfly!

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A portrait of me for Mother’s Day!!

My Little Mermaids…

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Just a few photos from Mother’s Day weekend that I had to post!  Mary Clare loved being in the sand!

Try this one…

THe DoFin

Is inthe WODR

JUPeG

THe DoFin THE ED

BY Mccanless MLP 4K (Name in cursive with curls and dots, of course.)

I have a slight advantage.  It didn’t take me long to decipher this story with the drawing.  See if you can figure it out!

I followed the overwhelming smell of garlic and sounds of crunch into the den.

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Where I found a mess that only a blueberry could make.

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“MINE Croutons!”

Thanks, P

I was thrilled to receive the Mommy Movie for Mother ‘s Day from Mel!  Nothing could have made my Mother’s Day  more special.   Many have asked, so… Yes, Mel did create it and write it himself.  And no, it doesnt’ seem to be working in Internet Explorer.  I’m hoping that by adding this post, you’ll be able to at least open babypennington.com again!  (Wouldn’t want to deprive you forever of my precious babies.)

Mommy

You are the love of my life. Thank you for all that you do. -P


The video was giving so many people problems (including me at school), that I decided to take it down.  I think it must have something to do with computers that block certain devices and or material.  (i.e. video/photos)  You can still click on the link below, however!  Sorry P!

Mommy from Mel Pennington on Vimeo.

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Of all of the thousands of people that happened to be at the beach this weekend, Mother’s Day Weekend,

and of all of those who decided to go to Target on a Saturday night,

and of all of those who happened to be walking by the shoe section in Target, while my sister, Kate chased Mary Clare up and down the isles because Mary Clare thought the clicking of her brand new jelly shoes sounded fun as she ran as fast as she could on the hard floors of Target,

there was one person who just happened to know.

She first recognized Kate. As Mary Clare ran by, she was a mother that could also recognize a blueberry baby a mile away. She told her husband she had to wait outside of the dressing room, because she then recognized Mel as he waited for me. (Mel was in shorts and a T, so it was astonishing to him that she could do such a thing. Sometimes, even I don’t recognize him without his suit.)

As I came out of the dressing room, she began to cry. She knew me. She knew all about my blueberry baby because she too had a sweet blueberry baby. She has followed our story and watched Mary Clare grow. Her baby girl, Gracee, was born in 2006 at MUSC. She was thrown into the world of HLHS when she was 19 weeks pregnant with her baby girl, just like me. We had the same doctors, the same nurses. The same surgeon. My Mary Clare ran, laughing through the aisles of Target. But my new friend, Brandi wore a white and purple rubber bracelet with tiny wings bearing Gracee’s name. Gracee wasn’t with her. Gracee only lived to be 12 days old.

We immediately connected and began to discuss days in the hospital, medical staff we shared, heart moms we knew. She introduced me to her husband and her second baby girl who just had her 1st birthday last week. They were a beautiful family.

I am so thankful that we happened to drop into Target on a busy Saturday night at the beach. We were going to look at swim suits; Brandi needed aloe for sunburn. When I think back to all of the decisions that we made and changed and how the timing just had to be so perfect. I think that my new friendship isn’t quite by chance.

Today, Mother’s Day, I have a heavy heart as I think about my new friend and kindred spirit. I wish terribly that Brandi could have introduced Gracee to Mary Clare. That we could plan a play date with all four of our girls, not just three. I wish we could have scheduled a cardiologist visit on the same day to meet up in Charleston for lunch with our blueberry babies.

Thank you, Brandi for our new friendship and for telling me all about sweet Gracee. I will think of her often. Thank you for a precious reminder that today I should hug my girls a little tighter and relish in every single moment we share.

Only Mel…

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In the front yard, on the swing, in a suit, on his phone.

Sunday afternoons in the country…

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Running wild at Nonnie’s house…

The THA blood drive was a success!

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Hayley and Julia drove all the way from Columbia to donate blood! Wow, thanks so much girls!

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I wish I could have gotten photos of everyone who donated!  Thanks to you all!

It’s Manic May again…

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Mimicking McMama (and her massive amounts of meticulously molded alliteration regarding motherhood), I’ll take a moment to marvel at my mayhem filled month of May…

With massively accumulating mounds of work, my maternal skills grow mundane. My Mac and MC munched on a meal of mediocre pizza, while mesmerized with Noggin.  Most certainly not a common mealtime manifestation!

Breaking news…

Mel just announced that Brown Pennington Atkins Funeral home is the first funeral home in South Carolina to use Twitter to update obituary information.  Mel just began this yesterday and already has a ton of people interested and 11 registered as of last night!   BPA was also the first funeral home in SC to offer Memorial/ Tribute DVD’s to families several years ago.   Way to go, Mel!

Click here to recieve BPA twitter updates!  (FYI, Mom,  Twitter is instant news via text to your cell phone.  You won’t have to wait to check the BPA website!  And, no Mom, I will not offer Twitter updates on the girls’ happenings!)

Doc’s

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Mary Clare had her first Ruth’s hot dog this weekend, and as you can tell from the photo above, she thoroughly enjoyed it!  If you know Hartsville, you know Ruth’s Drive-In, or Doc’s, as most Hartsvillians would say.   Nothing fancy.  Just hot dogs and hamburgers and many familiar faces.  It has been around as long as I can remember.  As Mel and I sat in the booth snapping photos, several patrons said they remember seeing the two of us at her age eating Doc’s dogs.

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Mary Clare ate her entire hot dog with chili.  McCanless ate two!

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Check out the Mel’s Special in the photo below.  (One of my hubby’s creations when he was on the Atkin’s Diet.)  Ruth’s now has several signs advertising it, complete with a paper bow tie attached!

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Mel even blogged about it on melpennington.com back in February.   “Living in a town of 7,000 means that celebrity status comes in really unique ways.  Mine came last week via Ruth’s Drive In and a very special culinary delight…”

Kissing Cousins…

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Tea for Two

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I hope that’s tea…

Field Day at THA…

McCanless was so excited on the morning of field day.  She practically woke up on her own.  Practically.  She and I didn’t even have one single arguement about clothes.  Not one. (The brand new cherry swimsuit and matching cover-up probably helped.  The girl loves new clothes.)     I wish every day could be field day.

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Okay, so take what you will from this.  I popped into her classroom to get a few shots of McCanless with her pals.  I said, “Okay guys, get together for a photo.”  McCanless immediately threw her leg up in this pose.  Mel says he is forcing soccer camp on her this summer.

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McCanless, Anne Dubose, Stella

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Second place in the Potato Sack race!

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I didn’t get many shots of the slip and slide and splash stations because I was a bit side tracked.   My 8th grade boys thought it would be fun to douse their fully clothed and dry teacher with trashcans full of water.  I would fail them, but that would mean I’d have them again next year.

“TA-DA!”

Never mind the wrong foot shoes, sticky hair, one arm, inside out and backward bubble…she dressed herself!

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Little Miss is obsessed with dressing herself these days.  She is very opinionated about what she wants to wear and puts up a good fight if you at least suggest another option.  (Sounds familiar….will it ever end?)  She is pretty good at finding arm holes and can throw on a dress in no time.  Shoes are always on the wrong foot, but she always pairs them correctly.  The “Flick-Flocks” in the above photo are her latest obsession.  Who would have known?  Of all of the cute sandals and summer shoes I’ve bought her lately, a $1 pair of rubber flip flops are her favorite.

Does life get any better…

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…than a girls weekend at the beach…

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…making new friends for the summer…

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….and eating sandy Cheetos?

A whole week at Mimi and BaPa’s!!!

The girls gardened, painted, shopped, beached, museumed, stayed up way too late, ate candy and chicken nuggets and macaroni all week, played in the mud, played on playgrounds, played with neighborhood kids, read lots of books in makeshift tents, lost paci’s, found paci’s, laughed hard, played hard and got lots and lots of Mimi and Bapa kisses!

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Easter Sunday

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Nothing like a green Peep for breakfast to jump start the day!

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Mary Clare did not want big sister in the photo!

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After church, we headed to Grandmother’s house for more candy, more eggs, and lots of family!!

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NaNa, Aunt Liz and Mary Clare

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Mel with NaNa

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Mary Clare did NOT want to share the piano with Reese and McCanless

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Later on we went to Nonnie’s for dinner and for the annual, yet dangerous, big kid money egg hunt!

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More candy, more eggs, more family!!

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William and Mary Clare

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The hunt…

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Mel piling on top of  Kacy, Kate and Alston in a closet after one of them spotted an egg and all dove for it.  It gets brutal.

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McCanless has her very own egg hunt,  a much less rowdy one.

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MC in KC’s pink heels


The Five Second Egg Hunt at THA

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One…

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Two…

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Three…

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Four…

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Five…

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McCanless found the golden egg!

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WHEW!

We are here .  We are well.  Spring Break 2009 was fantastic!  We are tired.   I will post all about it when I finish unpacking my car and scraping Easter candy and chocolate from floorboards, carseats, dashboard, windows,etc..  (I had to give the girls something to keep them occupied for a four hour car trip to see Mimi and Bapa!)

The Heart Ball was a huge success!!

The 2009 Pee Dee Heart Ball was a huge success and I just have to say that I am so proud of both my sweet heart baby and my non-stop hubby!  Mel was a co-chair of the ball this year, and it was one of the best I’ve been to.  (Of course, I may be a bit biased!)  Mimi and Bapa and Nonnie and Bubba also joined us for a very special night.

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Daddy looking dapper at a little pre-Heart Ball gathering we hosted at the Midnight Rooster here in Hartsville.

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Nonnie took this just after a video of Mary Clare was played on three huge screens in the ball room.

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The band was blasting, so of course, Mary Clare hit the dance floor!  After the live auction, the open gift bidding began…it didn’t take long for her to steal the hearts of the entire room…and raise lots of $$!

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Everyone wanted to dance with Mary Clare, even total strangers fell in love with her!  (above)

Mary Clare danced the night away and helped raise more money than the American Heart Association has ever raised at the Pee Dee Heart Ball!!  She didn’t slow down the entire night!  (82 oxygen saturation levels..so what?!)  We didn’t make it home until 11:30 p.m., and she didn’t even fall asleep on the car ride home!  She had so much fun!  We are so very proud of her and love showing her off!  She is certainly our little heart miracle!

Here comes Peter Cottontail…

Virginia Anne invited us to her annual egg hunt again this year, which means kids, cupcakes and colored eggs galore!  As usual, McCanless wasn’t the least bit interested in egg hunting, so we came home egg-less, but we had a great time!  Now we are ready for the Easter Bunny to visit this weekend!

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Anne Frances and Mary Clare are best buds!

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Reese, Mary Clare, Carver, McCanless, Anne Frances and Katie

There were a ton of kiddos at the egg hunt, however, this is the crew that followed big kid, McCanless, to the front yard to hang out around the front door.

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Sweet Reese, always hugging and loving on Mary Clare!

Quiz for the day…

Last Thursday after Mel left for Atlanta, I found a drawing to him from McCanless on the rug in front of the door. The outside cover read…

Plezgedit PlezOpn Doown

On the inside, McCanless had drawn an elaborate orange and pink landscape with a hill, half sun and grass. (A sunset, she later explained to me.) It read…

SuneDa 200 in 9 DAD

I (heart) U

McCanless (In her signature dot letters)

Figure that one out! I got it rather quickly. It took Mel a while.

Translation…

Please get it. Please open. Down. (As in look down.)

Sunny Day 2009 Dad

I love you,

McCanless

He who forms the hearts of them all…

Take 8 minutes to watch and listen to this.  So worth it!

Girls Only! (and Baby Edward)

Photos from our girls weekend…

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The dynamic duo…

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Mary Clare shook her groove thing in the center of the skating arena!

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Jennie, McCanless, Mary Clare, “Baby Edward,” Eliza and Lori (Mom)

We hit the town after the Hannah Montana Skating Party!

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Leave it to our girls to find the nearest abandoned train car to climb in and on…

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Trouble

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We weren’t really “thinking safety.”

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Baby sister will not be left out!

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Church on Sunday…good thing, after that drawing of mommy!

Can’t wait!

We’ve had a crazy, busy girl weekend this weekend, as Daddy was at the Atlanta Market. I have photos to post but had to “jot” this down tonight before the week got the best of me. McCanless, as you know, is my free-spirit, strong-willed baby girl. I have learned this weekend, however, she is not quite my baby girl any longer. She had a couple of “firsts” that must not be forgotten!

After a rockin’ Hannah Montana skating birthday party on Friday afternoon, and a dinner date with her friend Eliza, Eliza’s mom, sister, two brothers, Mary Clare and I…(yes, two adults and six kids and it was on the patio at Bizzell’s downtown during Renofest Bluegrass Festival) much to my dismay, she asked Eliza’s mom if she could spend the night. (I wasn’t dismayed at the spending the night part, but the asking part. My mother would have choked us if we did such a thing, and I thought I had instilled this in McCanless. Who knew I would really need to teach her this before she was five?) She loves to go to Eliza’s house. A house in the country, baby chicks, kids galore. Who wouldn’t?

I just knew I would get a phone call in the wee hours and have to drag Mary Clare out to the country to pick up my big girl. I even slept with the phone by my pillow, just in case. She did it, though. Her first friend sleepover. She stayed all night and when I went to pick her up, she and Eliza had already schemed decided that Eliza would come with us. Apparently, this begins way earlier than I remember. The duo came running out to my car with that look in their eyes. Completely convincing and nodding her head, McCanless said, “Mom, Eliza’s mom said she could come with us.” Oh, really. Then she whispered to Eliza, “Go ask your mom.” Off they ran. I didn’t have time to think, or stop them.

So off to lunch and the park we four went: Me, Mary Clare, Eliza and my pre-teen. We met up at yet another birthday party that afternoon and as I watched my McCanless with her friends I noticed that she is the same baby girl I have always known and adored, she is just growing up right in front of my eyes.

She is bossy, the ring leader. She is fun. She is a show-off. She loves to make her friends laugh, even if it means at her, especially if it is at her. She laughs very often. She is a leader. She is silly. She is sassy. She loves to be around lots of people. The more the better. She is confident. She loves to dance. Loves to dance. She dances and sings for her friends.

This morning before church, she became very angry with me because I asked her to put her dirty breakfast dish into the dishwasher. (She had just placed it into the sink, and I thought I’d throw in the extra task.) She immediately looked at me with wide eyes and a sour look on her face. (As if I had asked her to go jump into the lake.) She began to scream and pitch a fit…something about getting her hands dirty and touching that nasty spoon. The very one that was just in her mouth.

I told her she could ask me to do it for her if she didn’t want to get her hands dirty. Yelling, she replies,…”YOU do it….you are the mom…you get dirty…etc.” Calmly, I walked to the sink and began to rinse and load the dish. I knew better than to reason with her at this point.

A few minutes pass and she grew quiet. It was short lived, at least. Then a drawing shot across the kitchen floor coming from the direction of the playroom. It is a drawing of a red devil with horns and MOM written across the top.

So, I have received my first hate letter from McCanless. I think she will make a fine teenager, don’t you?

Spread the word…

Thomas Hart Academy is hosting a blood drive in honor of Mary Clare on May 1st from 11-4!!  Click here to schedule an appointment!

McCanless…

Is as fabulous as ever…

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…and now has green eyes!

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…still loves to dance and dress up.  (She dressed up as the tooth fairy in this photo.)

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…continues to amaze me with her strong desire to learn to read and spell.   She drew a picture of a slide on her chalkboard table and “sounded it out.”  I thought “SLIED” was pretty close.

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…is in love with tooth fairy dust.

The tooth fairy is becoming a regular at our house…turns out McCanless’ two bottom baby teeth weren’t prematurely loose as I originally thought.   She has two huge permanent teeth taking their place already!!    She and Stella proudly marched into my 3rd period class today and announced that her tooth landed (and stuck) in a cheese puff during morning break.  She is more excited, however,  about finding more fairy dust than actually loosing the tooth or getting her golden dollar coins.

 

Mary Clare at 21 months

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Loves my shoes…

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Hates diapers…

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Have I mentioned she loves to dress up?

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…is crazy about panties and has even gone poo and tee-tee in the potty.

(We think it is a total fluke, but who knows?)

Mary Clare is still at a petite 21 lbs, although the cheeks won’t stop.  She loves cake, candy, sweets, sugar and anything that comes in a shiny package…a total junk food junkie.  “MOVE”, “STOP IT” and “NO” are her favorite words these days and her sister gets on her last nerve, although she imitates her every move.  She immediately removes her socks and shoes as soon as I buckle her into her car seat and before I can get around the car and into my own seat.   She has yet to sleep through the night.  Mel tells me that it may be a sign that it is time to give up the paci when she can do tricks with it in her mouth.  We often have strangers run up to us telling us she is going to swallow it.  She can literally flip the entire paci around inside of her mouth and pop it back out.  She’s my outdoor girl and refuses to even glance at the television.  She loves music still and gives the sweetest fish kisses to everyone.  She is a complete mommy’s girl and loves to be held.  Extremely independent and completely and utterly entering the “Terrible two’s.”  She is hilarious and so much fun…

March Madness

Two lost teeth, two family birthdays and one terrible two have all attributed to too little time around here.  Thus, the blog suffers.

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Baby Kate’s 23rd with my crazy family…

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NaNa’s 88th with Mel’s crazy family…

Surprise!

Nope, not pregnant!  Look what I found this morning as I was searching.  (Disregard my cheesy quote.)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

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McCanless decided to go all out for St. Patty’s Day this year!  Mel took the girls to Chuck E. Cheese tonight to celebrate.   So long are the days of celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah donning beads and twinkling four leaf clover glasses.  We had a fabulous day with our girls sharing green milk and cheese pizza.  Life is good.

We keep growing and growing and growing…

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7 mommies,  4 five-year-olds, 4 toddlers, 1 baby, and three more on the way!

You know those girl friends that know you inside and out, know what you’ve done, who you have dated, how bad your hair was in high school…and STILL call you friend?  Well, here they are.  (Minus a few of us.)  We grew up together and are still growing together.  We’ve been through bad prom dresses, cheerleading camp, Spring Break, college, marriages, births (obviously), deaths, divorce, crazy parents, crazy jobs, crazy husbands, heart defects, mommy beach trips, far away moves, moves back home….collaboratively, we’ve just about done it all.   Although we live as far away as Texas and as close as 15 minutes apart, we try to get together at least once a year for a mega playdate with everyone plus kiddos.  We love seeing each other become mothers and love that our children know each other and have fun together.

Exciting News…The 2009 Heart Ball is quickly approaching!

Just thought I’d pass along this email from Mel.  He sent it out to his entire address book, which happens to be pretty extensive!  We are so excited about the 2009 Pee Dee Heart Ball and are hoping for a huge success!  Our little sweetheart even gets to make an appearance that night!  The American Heart Association PR piece (featuring Mary Clare) that I mentioned in an earlier post will be debuted as well!  Call or email me if you are interested in attending!

Dear friends & family,

I wanted to take a moment and bring you up to speed on what we’ve been up to these last few months.  Both Kerri and the girls are doing well and ready to get to the summer as fast as possible.

McCanless is now five and has recently been visited by the tooth fairy for the first time.  I might add that the tooth fairy didn’t take into account that daddy would be cleaning up fairy dust for several days after her visit.  She has started sleeping in her own bed, and has become a dancing-with-the-stars junkie!  I have been having nightmarish premonitions lately about boys and dating in the too-near distant future.

Many of you are aware that our youngest daughter, Mary Clare, was diagnosed with hypo plastic left heart syndrome and has recovered well from her second surgery.  Basically she was born without one of the normal four chambers of her heart.  Since then they have combined the other two leaving her what we call “The biggest half-a-heart.” Kerri has chronicled our girl’s life on her blog, www.babypennington.com, which is now boasting close to 500 readers from across the country.

Kerri is still teaching at Thomas Hart Academy and spends the rest of her free time playing with the girls and putting up with me.  She has done an amazing job helping to mold those two little minds.  Kerri has been a dear to put up with my many ideas and businesses – late nights, and traveling.  She’s made her place in the heart world by becoming an ear for other troubled mothers dealing with heart issues.

I have recently volunteered to co-chair the American Heart Association Annual Heart Ball.  We’ve decided to combine the ball this year with the Florence Ball.  I have attached a copy of the article that is running in the paper next week (mostly for my mother to have something to be proud of me)  I’m getting ready to buy a letterpress made in 1905 and start two new companies – but I’ll save that story for a later time.

We’ve been through hell and made it out the other side these last 24 months.  Kerri is the pillar of strength we all leaned on to get by.  We both have a firm belief that we owe a lot to our family, our friends, and those involved with Mary Clare.


This year we will be attending the Pee Dee Heart Ball to say thanks to those that choose to continue to support our efforts to improve lives and fund research.

I hope that you will decide to bring your date to a wonderful evening of dining, dancing, and social networking.  It would mean the world to our family to have you attend.  If you let me know you’ll attend early enough, we would love to have you over prior to the event for cocktails, and we are arranging to have limo service to the event and home again.  This event sells out very quickly each year due to the a-list of people that attend each year.

I have asked our friends at the Heart Association to allow me to hold a few tickets back for friends and family.  They aren’t tickets actually, they’re reservations, and they can be made by calling (843) 665-0985 or by email me. Please let me know as soon as you are able about your plans to attend.  We’re going to have a time to remember – this I can promise you.

Please make sure to check in on the girl’s website from time to time.  Kerri does a better job of posting than I do on my blog www.melpennington.com .  We thank you again for your continued prayers and friendship.  I hope to see you each in person in the very near future.

With fondest regards,
Mel

PS: Feel free to forward this email along to other friends that I may have missed, blog about it, or help spread the word!

Heart Ball Press Release…

The 2009 Heart Ball of the Pee Dee, Saturday, April 4
Florence and Darlington County Events Join Together
(Florence, SC) – The American Heart Association volunteers and sponsors throughout the Pee Dee area have decided to combine efforts and host the Heart Ball of the Pee Dee.   One region wide event will allow for a collaborated endeavor of exceptional volunteers and offer more benefit to sponsors and guests, save duplicated expenses – and most importantly, raise more funds to fight heart disease and stroke.   Mel Pennington, Co-Chair of the Darlington County Heart Ball, was instrumental in making this move.  Location is not what is most important to him, however.  “The Heart Ball of the Pee Dee will be the premiere event in this state, a who’s who of guests and entertainers – but I’m not going to attend for those reasons.   I’m going because I see what the benefit of those fundraising dollars are capable of doing every time I look in my sleeping daughter’s crib….every time she wakes up from a heart surgery.  What I want people to understand is that just a few short years ago, without these funds to further research and training, we would have taken Mary Clare home to keep her comfortable – until she died.  It means more than the world to me that people support and attend this event.  I hope that you’ll consider coming so that we can say thank you in person, so that you can meet Mary Clare, and she can say ‘Tank-Choo’ also.”
The Heart Ball of the Pee Dee will take place on Saturday, April 4, 2009 at the Southeastern Institute of Manufacturing and Technology – Florence Darlington Technical College.   The theme for this event is the Heart of the Orient. The Heart Ball will feature a live and silent auction, wonderful cuisine, and for our dancing pleasure and entertainment – Men of Distinction. The event begins with a cocktail reception at 6:30 pm where the silent auction will be open. Guests will be invited into the Ball room at 7:45 for our Asian affair.  During our live auction, there will be a mission moment and special appeal that focuses on the critical issue of children’s heart health.
Jeanette Filpi, CEO of Regency Hospital in Florence, is Chair of the 2009 Heart Ball. “I find it extremely exciting and rewarding that these strong communities are coming together to help build healthier lives, free of cardiovascular disease and stroke, by joining forces to support the First Annual Heart Ball of the Pee Dee.  In these trying economic times, it is refreshing and encouraging to see communities coming together for a common goal.”  The Heart Ball is the leading black tie event for prominent business and medical professionals in our community. Moreover, our event raises funds and awareness for cardiovascular disease and stroke research. Several years back, the Heart Walk made this same change and substantial growth was the result for the event.   That change was widely accepted and has proven to be very effective.  Our current leading Heart Ball supporters – Sonoco, Nucor Steel, and Pee Dee Cardiology are excited and looking forward to this change.
For information on sponsorship, reservations or making a contribution, please contact Mona Carter at the American Heart Association – 843-665-0985 or [email protected] .

“I AM SPELING” or trying to anyway!

I have been amazed at McCanless’ progress with 4K this year! Currently, she is writing all over the house. I love finding her notes and scribbles on the chalk board pantry door, her art table, mail, papers, etc. Mel and I have even made it a game of deciphering her words. We also love hearing her sound out words on restaurant and street signs. (MUK-DAA-NA-LLLLL-DD-S was my all time favorite!)

Last week, a friend of mine,who is expecting a baby, came by to visit. McCanless gave her an original McCanless drawing with “BABE” written on it, and heart McCanless, of course. (She sounded out baby, and loves to sign her notes and drawings with a heart and her name.)

A few other McCanless spellings…

HAPE ESTR Happy Easter

MISHURE I heart U Ms. Chure, I heart you.

I heart MI BABE SISTR I heart my baby sister.

Another favorite McCanless spelling is the way in which she writes the year. She has been doing this for a while and I don’t have the heart to correct her. Current year according to LMP: 200in9.

She’ll have to take our word for it! (The Tooth Fairy, that is.)

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No, not top center! Front, bottom right.

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McCanless lost her first baby tooth last night! (Literally, we couldn’t find it!) Early this morning she groggily walked into our room licking and feeling where her loose tooth should have been, when she realized all of a sudden that it was gone! She was thrilled and ran to get dressed for school, until I reminded her that it was Sunday. She was thoroughly disappointed not to be able to show off her new “gap” but never seemed concerned that we couldn’t actually find the tooth! I searched her bed, the sheets, and the floor to no avail. I didn’t bother to tell her where I think it may be…and I don’t think I’m going to wait for that one to show up. I’m sure the fairy will take our word for it. She has plenty of teeth anyway!

Spring Fever!!

We had a fabulous Spring Weekend!!  We stayed outdoors!  I can’t wait for more!   We were so busy enjoying the weather and festivities, I barely had a chance to take photos!  I did manage to snap a couple at the Hartsville Downtown Marketplace.  Okay, so here is my Hartsville Plug, Mel…  On the first weekend of the month,  mostly local and some out of town vendors set up a marketplace right down town on Cargill Way.  It features booths from restaurants and caterers, jewelry and clothing stores, woodwork and crafts, tons of art exhibits/ sales, etc.  Coker College, Black Creek Arts Council and other local “gems” have booths as well.  (THA also hosted a booth!!)  We even have two farms that come out and offer fresh produce and supplies.   The Marketplace has even been paired with a chili cookoff, community concerts, etc..  It is really a fantastic event and one of the many, many reasons why I love living in Hartsville.

Here are those snap shots of the girls with a couple of pals…

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Burry Park is just behind the girls, which is where Mel’s Christmas tree was located this past December.  The Marketplace extended into the park as well.  Dick Puffer also blogged about the Marketplace this weekend, and has a quick video of McCanless, and several other Hartsville kiddos playing.

Daddy still has work to do!

If anyone has tried searching through our archives lately, you probably found many photos missing.  When Mel transferred our photos and entries over from the old website in December, many didn’t transfer.  He has them all saved, but just has not found the time to “re-do” it.  (This is my ever so slight nudge, Daddy!)  The American Heart Association wants to showcase Mary Clare, among two other Heart surviors, in a PR awareness clip.  We are thrilled and so excited!  (But, they are getting info and photos from the site, so get to work, Daddy!)

This little piggie has tails…

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Who needs Bob the Builder?

Over the last five years or so, Daddy has learned to embrace his “feminine” side.  Having to learn to carve a princess pumpkin for Halloween, braid Barbie’s hair, slip on Cinderella’s slipper just like Prince Charming, knowing what tights to wear in winter, and how to clasp tiny pearl bracelets are just a few of the tasks he has perfected.  He doesn’t even mind folding miniature princess panties, learning new cheers, coordinating hair bows, or even wearing sequins.  If you know Mel, you know that he is a very creative person.  He has always loved a challenge.  And over the years has become a “Jack of All Trades,” with woodworking being one of those hidden talents and passions of his.  Tonight, as I was in the dining room grading papers, I heard the familiar buzz of the drill and thought, “Oh no, what now?”  Surprised I found them all in the playroom together.  Instead of introducing our girls to the fine art of woodworking, Mel opted for a more girl-friendly approach to teaching them how to use a drill.   Twisted pipe cleaner jewelry!

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Have one person hold the ends of a couple of pipe cleaners…fit the opposite ends in the drill…then GO…perfectly twisted pipe cleaners, perfect for crowns, necklaces, and bracelets.

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Mary Clare has on a pink and orange “double twisted bracelet”…

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He never tires of sitting in pink polka dot chairs or princess castles, either!

What a daddy!

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Nothing better for a girl than chocolate chip cookies and her Daddy!

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“Can you imagine Daddy with boys, Mary Clare?”

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“I crown you with a green and purple tiara.”

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Big Girl Panties…

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She refuses to take them off!

So, we have at least introduced the potty to Mary Clare.  She likes her big girl panties more than anything having to do with the whole potty training thing.  She begs to wear them, but doesn’t quite realize that you are not supposed go potty in them.  (McCanless at this age, on the other hand, couldn’t stand to mess up her big girl panties; which is how I potty trained her.  It was easy!  Now that I think about it, it must have been her tactile issues…one vice for another, I guess.)

Mary Clare knows the purpose of the potty, how to pull down her panties, how to sit, how to wipe.  One would think she is ready, right?  Not quite.  She always sits, strains (as if she is really going), stands up to have a look, THEN goes.  Four times, she has done this.  I would just say that we will wait until she is older to try again, but she refuses to give up the panties.   So, either I throw away the panties so she’ll not even be able to wear them, or we trek on…

Gracie

Update- Monday, March 2:  Gracie will be taken off of ECMO today and will become another precious heart angel. 

Update- Saturday, February 28:  Gracie is too sick for the VAD, or Berlin Heart.  Her family has also been told that she may also be too sick for another transplant.  She is still on ECMO, which is her life support.  I cannot imagine how her family feels at this moment.  What is worse is knowing that these babies are so precious, so perfect…their only opponent is their heart.  Why can’t someone figure this out!?  I hate HLHS.

Update- Friday, February 27: Gracie’s new heart was deemed, “a bad heart” which was unknown until they actually got it in her body.  She was then re-listed for another heart transplant.  While waiting, she must remain on ECMO, which is similar to a heart lung bypass machine.  She can’t live on ECMO forever, or even more than several weeks.  The family was told today that the doctors want to give her a Berlin heart to save her life, possibly Tuesday or Wednesday.  The Berlin Heart, or VAD procedure, is pretty interesting, and apparently is only a bridge until she can receive another transplant.  It is not FDA approved,  and the procedure has only been performed twice at her hospital.  One successful and one not.  Add to surgery time, recovery time, wait time for another heart between procedures and this poor family is looking at a very, very long journey this go round.  Not to mention watching their precious baby girl endure it all.  Pray.

Saturday, February 21-Gracie got a heart, but needs our prayers!

She’s got the fever…

McCanless has always loved dance.  The day she learned to walk, she began twirling and spinning and has not stopped, and she has been taking dance classes since she was two.   This year, I enrolled her in a lyrical ballet class, which she has  loved.  Earlier this year, the only part about it that she didn’t like was when I picked her up to leave and her classmates stayed for the following class, a jazz class.  From August to December, she cried after each ballet class and begged me to allow her to stay with her dancing friends for the second class.  I finally broke down and told her that I would allow her to begin jazz after Christmas, if she was still interested.  She was certainly interested and dove right in.  After about two classes, her dance instructor began to talk about the costume fittings, “upcoming events,” and judging?!  What I didn’t realize when we enrolled for the jazz class was that it was a competition jazz class. 

So this weekend was her first dance competition!  Nonnie, Kacy, Kate and I loaded up the girls and headed to the beach for a girls weekend and the SC State Dance Championships.  We had so much fun dolling up McCanless! (Complete with frilly socks, bows, curls, and clip on earrings!)   She wasn’t a bit nervous and was so anxious to get on stage.  She was dancing in the aisle waiting to perform with her team.  She loved every part of the competition:  watching the other dance teams, being with her friends, performing on stage and, of course, winning!!  Their precious little team took first place in their division!  They were, hands down, the most adorable group and to my surprise, did exceptionally well!   She was so proud, she wouldn’t change out of her costume and she wore her medal all night.  When we went out to eat she was thrilled when others took notice of her costume, and even performed beside tables, twirling and shaking for the other diners.  I don’t think Nonnie, Kacy, Kate or I could have been more proud!  We were all beaming!  We always knew she would make it on a stage somewhere, I just didn’t realize it would be so soon!  Way to go, Cannie!

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Here are photos of a few HLHS baby friends very close to Mary Clare’s age that I’ve been thinking about so often lately.  I’ve followed their stories from the beginning of their little lives and it breaks my heart to know that they are struggling.

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Owen, HLHS baby boy who has had his Norwood and Glenn, but unfortunately must have a brand new heart.   He is currently undergoing chemo treatments to prepare his little body for a heart transplant.

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Emma Kate, HLHS baby girl who had her Glenn in January, but is struggling in the hospital right now.

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Gracie, HLHS baby girl that just found out last night that she has been listed on a heart transplant list as A1 status.  Gracie was scheduled to have her Glenn on February 12, but it was determined that her little heart is too sick to survive the complex surgery.  She is in the hospital, where she will remain, until a donor heart is found.

Often, I write posts and never publish them on the site.  I have 20 or so posts just hanging out in my draft file that have never seen the light of day.   Some just ranting, some sad, some stupid, most not worthy of the time it takes to read them.  I’ve always considered writing an outlet, and many times after I write whatever it is that is on my mind, it escapes me.   I wrote one post about a month ago that was just plain venting and really didn’t reflect who I am 95% of the time.  It whined and complained, and I wasn’t about to publish it.  However, I have had a heavy heart this month, and cannot get that post out of my mind.  Not sure if my “Southern Seasonal Affect Disorder” is actually taking a toll in this long February, or Heart Day got to me, or life itself just got the best of me.  Or, it may be as another  mom quoted this week in regards to her heart baby…  (carrying) “the weight of knowing that it’s never over. That it’s not something that can be healed with an antibiotic or that is cured. It’s a life time journey.” Whatever the case, I have decided to publish my venting session.

Too often, it seems that heart children get the raw end of the deal.  Not many people know or understand heart defects, the funding for research isn’t there although clearly needed, and the government just doesn’t seem to care.  Don’t get me started on the insurance issues.  I’m not going to quote statistics.  If you’ve read my blog, you’ve read them all.  I just can’t seem to stop thinking about all of the precious heart babies that I know and love, nor can I get this post out of my head…

A heart mom venting..it’s my blog, right?  (A “Published Draft”)


No, Mary Clare’s heart is not “fixed.” It will never be “fixed.” The wonderfully brilliant surgeon that has operated on her twice has “reconstructed” her heart to function as a single ventricle because the left chambers of her heart didn’t form completely. The left side of her heart did not work when she was born. She would have certainly died within hours if left untreated. She was born with HALF of what we have as heart healthy people… among many other heart defects all grouped together to be called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Two chambers instead of four. Her heart functions with two chambers, not four. She will never have four.

She is blue. She has extremely low blood oxygen levels. Which is why she is out of breath often and her hands are purple. Her blood is mixed. Our oxygen rich (red) and oxygen poor blood (blue) is separated. Hers is not. She only has a half of her heart, and therefore it can’t hold oxygen rich and oxygen poor blood in separate areas.

I’m not “venting” about all of you who read this blog because, chances are, if you are reading this, you know all about Mary Clare’s heart. I am so very grateful for all of the wonderful friends and family who continually pray for our sweet Mary Clare; but at the same time, I become so frustrated with others who don’t have a clue. I think when others see Mary Clare, they see a completely healthy looking baby girl that seems to be fine, thus “Dumb Goggles” emerge. ” By this I mean people will ask the dumbest questions without thinking at all before speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I love to talk babies and I love to talk heart, so when others ask me about Mary Clare’s heart condition, I’ll go to town! Ask away!

Don’t pretend that you know what is going on with her, because half of the time, I don’t. Don’t tell me that this third and final surgery can’t be that bad, as bad as the first two surgeries. It is heart surgery. I know she has already been through so much, but this final surgery is equally as invasive and risky. It is a huge deal. She is a baby. A baby that has heart catheterizations, chest x-rays, feeding tubes, nasal cannulas, EKG’s, echo’s, blood pressure medications, diuretics, pain meds, two open heart surgeries. She has been intubated, paralyzed and had multiple chest drain tubes sewn into her, more IV’s than most adults will ever have, more blood drawn and the most beautiful scars that remind me to thank God everyday for it all. No, she hasn’t just had a valve replaced, or a hole mended. Her heart was cut on, stitched up, moved around a bit…reconstructed! TWICE, and one more to go, at least. The doctors make her heart work. They work with what they have, which isn’t much. For each surgery, they stop her heart and put her on a heart lung bypass machine. They have to cut into her precious baby skin and saw open her sternum, then cut, stitch, operate on her heart. We will forever monitor her heart, her oxygen levels, her heart function, her health.

I thank God everyday for sending my precious angel to me and for giving me every moment He does with her. I love my heart baby. I adore my precious heart baby.   If I had a choice, however, I would never want to be a heart mom. I would love for her to be just as healthy as other babies, but this is the path that was chosen for us. I am a heart mom. She is a heart baby.  My precious, loving, determined heart baby.  My hero.  It is a big deal. It is a HUGE deal. So, I’ll talk about it until I’m blue in the face (to match hers) and I’ll make a big deal about it!

Obviously, I was a bit perturbed.  Sometimes it just helps to say, in so many words, “It isn’t fair.”


More fairies to come…

Looks like the tooth fairy will be paying us a visit sooner rather than later!  We discovered just yesterday that McCanless has a loose front bottom tooth, and just today we realized that its partner, the other front bottom tooth, is also loose!   As they say, “the sooner they come in, the earlier they come out.”  We may prove this theory to be true as she was the only 5 month old I knew of with a mouth full of choppers.  She also had a minor incident with her silky a couple of days ago that may have helped loosen the culprits, however.  While sitting, she had silky in her mouth biting down and jumped up suddenly without thinking, stepping on top of silky causing it to jerk out of her mouth.  Ouch.  I didn’t ask what or why, just took note.  In any case, teeth are coming out and soon.  She couldn’t be more thrilled.  Tonight, she even had her tooth fairy doll on the bedside table.    When I asked her about it, she looked at me dumbfounded, and said, “Mom, I have a loose tooth.  What would I do with my tooth if it came out tonight?”  Clearly, I know nothing.

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One last look at those tiny baby pearls all in tact!

Happy Heart Day!!

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February 14th is CHD Awareness Day!!

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THA Valentine’s Dance…

Every year, THA has a school wide Valentine’s Dance during school.  No parents allowed!  Good thing I’m a teacher!!

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This is Will.  I stepped into her classroom just before the dance to snap a photo of the two of them together.  All week long, McCanless had been telling me that Will was her “date” to the dance.

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Poor Will.  I only saw McCanless dancing with Greyson (above) and trying to break in on a dance with my 8th grader Patric and his dance partner. (No photos of that, however!  I nipped that in the bud as soon as it started to happen!  Again, good thing I’m a teacher!)

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Puerto Vallarta, Mexico!!

We had a fabulous time in Puerto Vallarta!   Laurencia, our new “cousin-in-law” was a gracious hostess, and such a beautiful person.  We had so much fun getting to know her and her huge, passionate family.  They treated us like “one of them” from the beginning!

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McCanless bungee trampoline jumped seaside…

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Mel and I and Robert and Liz zip lined through the jungle with many of our new friends from the wedding party.  (Of course I didn’t take my camera, I had a hard enough time holding on for dear life!)  What an experience!

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The beautiful view from our room

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Every morning, after breakfast, the girls enjoyed feeding the fish and ducks.

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…and of course the pool was a hit!

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McCanless made new friends everyday!

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…and got pretty used to the swim up pool bar!

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Nope, not Mel… Robert, Liz’s boyfriend, at PiPi’s!

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It’s a big world!

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Mimi and the girls at the wedding

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Mel never ceases to amaze me!  He jumped into the Latino culture head first!  I’m not sure if it is his abnormally high aptitude for foreign language, or his inhibition that makes him able to speak Spanish so fluently.  (I’m sure the cerveza helped!)  Either way, he made a ton of new friends and even had a few offers for visits to see his new Latin American friends in the near future.

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McCanless took her role as lead flower girl very seriously.  She was one of the first girls to walk down the isle with a huge basket of white rose petals.

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Mary Clare also surprised me as she followed all of the children down the isle.  She was the youngest and the last little one.  (Which is why I don’t have any photos..I plopped her down, she followed the children, and I ran to the front to “catch” her.  McCanless took a seat on the front row and Mary Clare and I headed to the back, where she “chatted” with a newborn for the remainder of the ceremony.

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It looks stormy in this photo, but it had been a beautifully sunny day.  The ceremony ended just at sunset.

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Welcome to the family, Laurencia!

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Daddy and McCanless dancing the night away!

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Donuts at the reception!  Perfect!

(Along with a ton of yummy authentic Mexican cusine!)

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McCanless and Robert

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What a beautiful reception, which was outside just off of the beach.  (And what fun, beautifu and sexy people the Latin Americans are!)  Their dancing was amazing!

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Goodbye, Puerto Vallarta!

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Adios, Amigos!

Mel, the girls and I are flying out early Wednesday morning for Puerto Vallarta, Mexico! Mel’s cousin is getting married and the girls will be in the beach wedding this weekend. (I’ve had the daunting task of trying to find the girls summer dresses and bathing suits in February! I gave up on the shoes.)

I’m a bit nervous about Mary Clare flying. The last time she flew was to Chicago last February, which went very well. (She couldn’t walk yet and the flights were pretty short, so it went exceptionally well.) She is awfully close to those “______ two’s” now…so wish us well, or rather, wish the other passengers well! Thankfully, Aunt Liz and Robert will be on our same flight, so we can toss her around the plane a bit.

We’ll be sure to take lots of photos!

McCanless quotes for the day…

1-I was video interviewing McCanless…

Me: McCanless who do you love?

McCanless: I love Eliza, Stella, Anne Dubose, Camer…wait! Before you love others, you must first love yourself. I love myself.

2-Confession to her Daddy…

McCanless: Tell mom that I tee-tee’d in Mary Clare’s potty tonight. I wanted her to be happy and proud of Mary Care.

To explain…We bought Mary Clare a potty because she has shown some interest in the big potty and has been telling us when her diaper needs changing. After putting the potty together, inserting batteries (yes, it makes music when pottied upon) and inserting the roll of TP on its holder, Mary Clare showed more interest in unrolling the toilet paper all over the house than actually going potty. We realized that she knows exactly what to do with the toilet paper, however. She pretended to “wipe” after sitting on her new potty, but then she immediately blew her nose with the same “wad.” Later on, I was amazed when McCanless ever so convincingly told me that MC pottied just before bath time. (They had been dancing around the house naked.) I swear, I totally believed her. I really did! (Note to self: McCanless is a fabulous liar.) Later on, her confession to Daddy proved that we may have a longer potty training road ahead of us than originally thought.

3- McCanless: Mom, do you know how this pink boa was made?

I start to ponder how in the world to answer this question, and as I began…she said, “They had to kill flamingos.”

Happy Heart Month!

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The latest on Miss Mary Clare…

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She can climb up the playset ladder all by herself!

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“Where is your diaper, Mary Clare?” I asked just before snapping this photo!

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My sweet blueberry baby!

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Mary Clare is so funny these days and so very busy. She is talking so much more. (Still not the chatterbox that McCanless was at this age, but she says exactly what she needs to say. Nothing more, nothing less.) When she does speak, she sounds like a little girl, not a baby. Each word is so precisely and correctly spoken, especially, “Yea.”

She is still an early bird, and by this I mean, she wakes up at 7 am READY TO GO. She hits the ground running. (She is a lot like me in this aspect!) She’ll often go straight to the playroom and grab her baby doll and stroller and take circles around the house until everyone is stirring.

She continues to love dressing up with her big sister, and has recently learned to remove her diaper.

She has been sleeping through the night for a couple of months now!! She loves to go “night-night” in her crib with her babies and her bottle and paci. She will point to her crib saying, “Night-Night.” She loves music and will point to the radio in the car until she hears music. (Again, pointing is her favored form of communication, and of course, we all jump when she points.)

She continues to love reading and will grab an armful of books, pull or push on our legs until we sit, then she will plop down in our laps and say, “Read.”

She can be very serious at times and so determined. She looses her temper very easily and hits. (I’m attributing this to her age right now.)

“NO” is one of her favorite words, rather, “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!”

She is such a loving, trusting and friendly child. Just today, she grabbed the arm of an older lady in the grocery store line. Mary Clare obviously wanted to be held by the stranger. The lady was flattered and held her for a while. Mary Clare was content and happy with her.

She is my snuggle bunny and kisses and hugs so often out of the blue.  She is certainly a mommy’s girl, but has completely won the heart of her Daddy, and has him wrapped around her little finger.

My McCanless…

Many post have begun this way, usually depicting one of McCanless’ outrageous outbursts, dancing, conversations, etc. (Which makes for great blog material.) With her unpredictable, outgoing personality, I have come to expect the unexpected with her. However, with all of that also comes my sweet, thoughtful and happy McCanless, my wonderful big baby girl…

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McCanless has really impressed me this year in dance. She is really focused and dedicated to her classes.

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This is my bedside table where I have many of my favorite things, such as photos of my babies moments after they were born, favorite books, etc. I often find paintings or “gifts” left here waiting to surprise me. (From McCanless)

Today, McCanless “borrowed” a few flowers from the funeral home to leave for me in her water bottle. A few weeks ago, she left this painting. When I asked her about it, she mentioned that it was a painting of what her birthday cake should have looked like a few weeks ago: bright pink, with green dots and white initials. She also told me that her cake this year was pretty, but the painting will remind me next year of exactly how she wants it.

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Mary Clare couldn’t have asked for a better big sister. McCanless is so protective of her and loves her dearly.

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Free Spirit

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5-year-old big girl

February 14th is CHD Awareness Day (Congenital Heart Defects)

Some interesting facts to think about…

  • Congenital Heart Defects are the #1 birth defect. (Source: March of Dimes)
  • Nearly twice as many children die from Congenital Heart Defects in the United States each year as from all forms of childhood cancers combined, yet funding for pediatric cancer research is five times higher than funding for CHD. (Source: Children’s Heart Foundation)
  • The American Heart Association directs only $0.30 of every dollar donated toward research. The remainder goes toward administration, education and fundraising efforts. Of the $0.30 that goes toward research only $0.01 goes toward pediatric cardiology for CHD. (Source: Children’s Heart Foundation)
  • Of every dollar the government spends on medical funding only a fraction of a penny is directed toward Congenital Heart Defect research. (Source: Children’s Heart Foundation)

More interesting CHD reading can be found at www.learnaboutchd.blogspot.com

Our weekend…

Mel left Thursday for the Atlanta Clothing Market this weekend, so the girls and I have had a long “Daddy-Free” weekend, which is usually how our weekends go anyway, unfortunately. We had lots on our agenda and although I never leave home without my camera, I took no photos! Mary Clare is into running everywhere now, and McCanless is still McCanless, oblivious to her surroundings, so needless to say with all that was going on, I had my hands full but without a camera!

Friday night was movie night at THA. All of the kids wear pj’s and spread out across the gym floor on sleeping bags and eat popcorn and movie goodies. McCanless went home with her friend, Eliza, after school on Friday and met me at the “movie” that night. (It is so fun that she is at the age now to have friends and big girl playdates!) This is Mary Clare’s second movie night and although she had no interest in Peter Pan, she did catch the eye of Eliza’s little brother, baby Edward. Baby Edward and Mary Clare chased each other in the dark all night, while McCanless sat entranced throughout the entire movie, until she literally became sick from all of the popcorn and M&M’s!

Saturday morning we jumped up, despite a 9:30 bedtime for all, and headed to the Kids Jamboree in Florence. Two words sum up the event: OVER STIMULATION. After walking around the jumping castle room, attempting to ice skate with McCanless clinging to my legs and holding Mary Clare, and trying to wheel an over sized stroller through a crowd of 1,000 kids, clowns, and snow cone machines, McCanless decided she would rather watch the dancing performances on stage. We didn’t ice skate, we didn’t ride a single ride, or a pony, no face painting, no games, we didn’t participate in any event, we didn’t even jump in the princess jumping castle…we sat in bleachers and watched a dance troupe until Mary Clare began to scream EAT, EAT, EAT. After fighting the crowd to the nearest elevator and getting stuck in it with the girls and the over sized stroller and almost hyperventilating , I decided to call it a day! We headed to Chick-Fil-A and Brewster’s!

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I did manage to catch a few photos in the car while waiting in line at Chick-Fil-A!

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Yum, a Brewster’s ice cream with sprinkles! (We all love sprinkles around here!)

Sunday night fun…

After bath time, the girls love to pile into our bed and play.  They both roll around, laugh and have a great time, especially when Daddy plays the monster!

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Mary Clare thinks she is hiding under there…

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SEVERE WEATHER

I guess I should have checked the news before heading to school this morning! McCanless and I pulled into a completely deserted THA parking lot at 7:50 AM. We quickly made a U-turn and headed home for a SNOW DAY! Daddy headed to work and the girls and I headed out to eat breakfast. I figured it was the “safest” time to venture out…before it was too icy! (You know we Southerners can’t drive in ice and snow!)

We had a fun day of being “junky” as McCanless would say. We had a late breakfast, made cupcakes for lunch, took a long nap, headed out in the snow a few times, and watched the Inaugural events on television all day. It was a wonderfully lazy January snow day!

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The view from inside, which was just enough for us!

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McCanless loved checking on her playset during the day and seeing the snow pile up. She would run to her room and yell, “I think it is up to 3 inches now!” (She heard the weather man tell us that we could have 3 inches.)

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Mary Clare found a baby in the toaster when we were making cupcakes!

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The inauguration was interrupted several times by a severe weather alert! Only in the South would an inch of snow be deemed severe!

Rainy, cold and MESSY days…

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McCanless working with her new watercolors.

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Of course, little sister wanted in on the fun!

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…until she stuck the paint brush in her ear!
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This was what she did when I said, “No more painting…the paint is all gone, Mary Clare!”  She had to see for herself, and of course saw that the paint was, in fact, not “all gone!”

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Back to her latest favorite, acrylics!

A Cupcake Party!

I LOVE parties! I love creating invitations, decorating, planning the “menu,” putting together favors, the cakes…Okay, so I don’t actually bake the cakes. CJ’s cakes are way too yummy to compete with, but I do “design” them! I’m fortunate enough that my girls’ birthdays are 6 months apart, so I have plenty of time in between to plan the next! (Although, McCanless’ January 5th birthday always sneaks up on me!)

We invited her girlfriends and had a fabulous cupcake decorating party at Saffron here in Hartsville! McCanless even helped with the planning this year. She had very specific requests for her 5th birthday party. (I think I’m rubbing off on her.) She wanted everything to be pink, lots of sprinkles and no boys! She did not want us to sing Happy Birthday and she knew exactly where everyone should sit. Saffron catered and made wonderful chocolate cupcakes with vanilla marshmallow icing, tons of sprinkles, and ice cream! We also had a big pink CJ’s cake! We made a mess, but had a great time!

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Mary Clare was not a happy cupcake just before the party!

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I found these great little cookie turners and icing spreaders for favors. McCanless and I put them together this morning before the party.

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Mimi printed “McCanless is Five” AND “LMP” napkins this year! Thanks, Mimi!

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McCanless helped paint the kitchen aprons.

I painted the names and she painted the pink dots.

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Sprinkles galore!

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Mary Clare and Reese

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Happy 5th Birthday Party, My Little Cupcake!

Sorry I asked…

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Me: “McCanless, did you have a good day at school today?” (car ride home)

McCanless immediately burst into tears. (A sobbing bawl)

Mac: (Between sobs and sniffs)…”Stella can’t some to my PAR-TY! OH, NO..Stella gave me a gift and Ms. Chure said I would need a suitcase to take it home and no one had a suitcase, but maybe Cameron and he said it was at home and I left in on the table…AND Ms. Eddy (Teacher’s Assistant) made me walk TWO laps because I said, ‘whatever’ to Anne Dubose and I DID NOT say, ‘whatever’ to Anne Dubose. I only said, in her face, ‘I don’t like that’ because she was showing me something ugly. I said it nicely, though. Ms. Eddy is too properly. She made Grace eat with manners at school today and Grace never eats with manners. Ms. Eddy is so mannerfully and proper. She wants everything to be neat.” (sobs and wails) “My lips hurt where I dropped a book on them.” (BIG CRY) I look in the back to check on her after such a huge ,horrific cry and to figure out what she was talking about . I see that she does indeed resemble Julia Roberts, especially after such a hard cry. She has chapped lips.

Me: “Your lips are chapped sweetie. Mine are too. In the winter with such dry, cold air…”(I was cut off by a louder wail)

Mac: “OH, I hate winter. I hate, hate, hate winter. When Ms. Eddy made me walk my laps at recess, my face was red. Stella told me my face was red. Stella can’t come to my PAR-TY! Oh, I forgot about my gift that Stella gave me at school. It was a class gift. Anne Dubose was mean to me today. She told on me. I wasn’t that mean to her. (??) I NEED my silky. I want to go to Nonnie’s to eat.”

She begins to open her left over snack bag. She missed snack because she and her daddy decided to sleep in today. Mel brought her to school late…

Mac: (Screaming) “Why didn’t you tell me you packed ice-cream money in my SNACK bag? I didn’t think I had ice-cream money at lunch because I didn’t see it in my bag! Everyone got ice-cream except me. Daddy made me late and I didn’t see my money in my snack bag. I didn’t get ice-cream and I had to do lots of work because Ms. Chure said I missed my morning work. Daddy made me late. Why didn’t you take me to school? Why didn’t you tell me my ice-cream money was in my snack bag? OH…my lips hurt. I hate books. Do lips get chapper in winter?”

A new princess on the block…

It’s no surprise that little sister is keeping in step with McCanless. (Or trying to!) Mary Clare has always wanted to do exactly what McCanless does, and lately her most favorite thing to do is dress up! From the moment she wakes (in the wee hours of the morning) until after bath playtime, Mary Clare’s only desire is to be a Princess! EVERY SINGLE DAY! (Just like Big Sister!)

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Mary Clare never stops with one dress! She’ll pull out several items and want to pile them on! She loves this black sequin skirt!

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My Princess Expert

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Okay, so I got into it a little and added the bow!  I couldn’t help myself!  This is a Fancy Nancy dress!

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The black skirt yet again, and hats, hats, and more hats!

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Being a Princess is such a hard job!

My ballerina…

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She sings and dances everywhere she goes!

Mary Clare finds her shadow…

The playroom has great sunlight in late afternoons this time of year! It was February 2005 that McCanless discovered her own shadow, and now in January, four years later, I watched Mary Clare also discover her own personal sidekick! (Funny, how history repeats itself!)

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Of course, Miss Priss had to jump in front of the camera, too! She never misses a photo opp!

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(McCanless in February 2005)

Twins?

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Outside in the sun…

It has been so nice out lately that the girls and I have had lots of fun outside!  (Mommy has had lots of photo opportunities, too!)  McCanless has had fun with her big girl bike from Santa, and Mary Clare has rediscovered the slide on the playset.  She can actually climb up and slide down all by herself!

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(Check out the socks and shoes…her personal touch!)

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It’s funny how pleasant the weather has been every January since McCanless’ birth.  Except for the year she was born, every January 5 has been in the 70’s!  The year she was born, however, we had a terrible ice storm in January!

Birthday Lunch at THA!!

Birthday Celebration #2…

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I surprised McCanless today with balloons and a “Miss Frog” cake at school!

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Eliza, Stella and McCanless
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Ms. Chure put huge pink sunglasses on McCanless and had the entire cafeteria sing Happy Birthday to her! She was thrilled, as you can tell!

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(Click on the above photo. It is a pretty big file (I upped it because the thumbnail looks blurry), but McCanless looks like such a big girl in this shot!)

Her real party…big plans… will be in a couple of weeks!  After-Christmas birthdays tend to sneak up on you!

McCanless is Five!!

Celebration #1 was a family dinner at Louchi’s on her actual birthday, January 5!  Nonnie, Bubba, Kacy, Kate, Alston, Liz, Great NaNa, BB and Papa all came!  Birthday dinners with our families are always crazy, but so much fun!!

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Every girl needs a Princess Barbie cake!

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Great NaNa with the girls…

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People always ask  me where the blonde comes from…

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Happy 5th Birthday, my sweet McCanless!

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I can’t believe my big girl will be five tomorrow! I had no idea how our world would change after our 6 lb, 14 oz little McNugget was born four weeks early! She came into this world ready to go and hasn’t slowed down a bit. Happy Birthday, my sweet girl. I can’t wait to see what your fifth year holds.

McCanless at five..sings loudly in the tub….tonight she was singing Happy Birthday to Me songs…still loves to sleep with Mommy and Daddy….still sucks on her beloved silky…paints everyday…adores her baby sister, but annoys her like crazy…loves fish sticks, popcorn and Mexican cuisine, but will try most any food once…is obsessed with learning to write her name in cursive…hates to talk on the phone…loves to stay up late…is fabulously over the top and passionate about everything she does…

Happy New Year with a Happy New Site!!

Mel finally found a moment (or two) to update my blog! (You may have to “refresh” from the old site…) He designed, created and built the entire site himself. I’ll have to admit, it is nice to have a hubby so creative and tech savvy. I’m still working on the “About” tabs and we have a lot of things to tweak, but so far I love it! A beautiful showcase for my beautiful girls!

Thanks, Sweetie!

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Mel was on-call this New Year’s Eve, so we decided to stay at home with the girls. We had so much fun, I think we’ll make it a new tradition! The girls and I had fun planning a “fancy” dinner and making cupcakes. McCanless desperately wanted to stay up to watch the “disco ball” drop in Times Square, and she almost made it. She reluctantly fell asleep watching the Jonas Brothers on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve Special at 11:45.

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Making cupcakes…my sweet tooth baby’s favorite thing to do!

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Mary Clare had more fun stabbing her dinner with the horn than actually blowing the horn.

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Happy New Year!

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The celebration continued the morning after…nothing like New Year’s breakfast in your “bra” and tutu! (That’s sparkling apple cider, by the way!) Let’s just hope we don’t see her in future years posing like this for a New Year’s celebration.

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Christmas Day at Nonnie and “Bubba’s” house…Woodham Christmas

Christmas morning 2008…

Yes, it was early!
So the outfit that Santa brought her was obviously not enough. She had to embellish it a wee bit…the McCanless touch!

…and the playroom was getting smaller by the minute!

What a mess!

Getting ready for Santa!!

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McCanless dumped her reindeer food right in the front walk so the reindeer wouldn’t miss our house! Honestly, I think they had a bit of trouble getting it all up!

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Elfie hid out in Santa’s mug until the big man arrived!

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Santa loved the jumbo gingerbread cookies we decorated for him! He ate three as he worked to assemble the girls’ toys!

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Christmas Eve at PaPa and BB’s house…Pennington Chrismtas

After church, we headed over to PaPa and BB’s house. This year both nearing the terrible two’s, Reese and Mary Clare were into EVERYTHING and running EVERYWHERE, especially up the stairs! We had a great time, even when all three cousins had their flutes going strong! After dinner and a bit of more craziness, we loaded into the limo (the BPA funeral home limo) for a tour of Christmas lights, always a highlight on Christmas Eve!

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Reese wanted that bow out of Mary Clare’s hair!

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Friends…

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Every year, I string our Christmas cards onto twine and hang them on our mantle. Every year, as I watch the garland grow, I am more and more thankful for all of our wonderful friends and family…. Yet another reminder of how very blessed we are!

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Christmas Eve at St. Bartholomew’s

Along with Midnight Mass, our church always has a beautiful Christmas Eve Children’s service earlier in the evening. For the past several years, we have not attend Midnight Mass (due to Santa’s visit), but the children’s service has become such a special part of our Christmas Eve. This year, we all participated in the nativity!

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Runaway Angel!

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Annabelle’s bow…

A dear friend and neighbor of ours, Annabelle, gave us this little girl’s hair bow several years ago, a hand-me-down that has been a beautiful companion to many precious Christmas dresses and childhood memories for years. As I pulled it out this Christmas, possibly for Mary Clare, it immediately reminded me of another sweet Annabelle that has touched our lives forever. A heart sister of Mary Clare’s, and now angel, that I have thought of so often this Christmas season. I decided not to use the bow for Mary Clare, but to honor our sweet baby friend, Annabelle, who was rarely without a big beautiful bow just like this one. I placed it near the top of our Christmas tree and thought of her daily as I admired it. This bow ornament will forever adorn our beautiful Christmas trees in honor of our even more beautiful heart baby, Annabelle. We are so thankful for her life.

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Cookies for Santa…

The girls and I spent Christmas Eve morning making cookies for Santa…

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Say, “Princess!”

Pop came to visit us on Tuesday and brought the first round of Christmas with him! McCanless got a digital Princess camera and we’ve all had so much fun with it! Just had to share these photos from my budding photographer! (and a few her mommy took, too!)

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My Princess was helping me cook spaghetti tonight.

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We told Daddy that he would be kissing a princess!

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Emmie is such a good sport! She endures “hair-dos and bows, tea parties, and will even sit quietly while strapped into a baby stroller.

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Once McCanless got the hang of it, she was taking pictures of EVERYBODY!

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McCanless posed me for this…like a princess, she said!

Tidbits…

I’ve had so little time lately, I’ve neglected our blog at bit. Between our own grown up dances, parties and gatherings, our children’s Christmas programs, parties and gatherings, and keeping up with our so originally named,Elf on a Shelf, Elfie, we’ve been quite busy! (McCanless named her elf with Mimi when she was three. I asked her if she would consider changing his name to “J Crew” but she refuses, so Elfie it is…) Elfie has been found in any place imaginable in our house and usually has to hide out of reach of Mary Clare! He isn’t as mischievous as other Hartsville elves, so we’ve heard, and has only made one mess in our kitchen when he got into some Christmas cookies one night. We’ve had fun with Elfie this year!

Last year, McCanless had so many questions regarding her elf, the North Pole and everything Santa! I grew very nervous, as she was only three and very skeptical about the whole thing. Nevertheless, we emphasized the true meaning of Christmas and tried to just use magic to explain everything else. This year, she certainly knows that Santa has helpers and she doesn’t ask as many questions. (We probably ruined her outlook when she was two and Mel “helped” Santa by playing the part one night in town. I thought we got away with it until we were leaving and she turned and said, “Bye-bye Da Da!”) It also probably doesn’t help that Mr. Chip, who “plays” Santa for many functions in Hartsville is also a member of our church and sings in the choir. We see him every Sunday and watch his beard grow and turn snow white beginning in October in preparation for the Christmas Season.

This year, McCanless will run up to any of Santa’s “helpers” and explain that she knows he is just a helper. She also tells him to relay her messages. It has been so much fun to see her excitement grow as Christmas approaches. We received a response from their letters to Santa a few days ago, and I thought McCanless would burst with excitement! Mary Clare is still not a Santa fan. Today, we had Lunch with Santa at the Country Club with my family. Mary Clare cried the entire time she saw Santa, and wouldn’t even sit near him for a photo. McCanless, on the other hand, wouldn’t leave Santa alone. We had to make her move so other children could chat with him. I’m afraid of what her list consists of now! She was with him for quite a while.

In other news, Mel has begun to update his blog once again. He gives his take on life, our girls and Hartsville. If you know Mel, he can be quite the character, which makes for pretty interesting reading. Check it out. www.melpennington.com

Life is great in our little corner of the world. We couldn’t ask for more.

A few more McCanless quotes for the day…December 18, 2000in8

“I just want to touch him all over.” Speaking of her Elf on a Shelf, Elfie. I guess the rule about not being able to touch him is driving her crazy!

The girls, Mel and I were at Wendy’s a few nights ago about to order dinner. (Long day, gymnastics, tired children and tired mommy=no cooks in the kitchen that night.) I turned to McCanless and asked her what she would like to eat. “Chicken McNuggets made with real white meat, please.”

At that same meal, Mel mentioned to me how tiny the hamburger patties were. I said, “What do you expect? It’s fast food.” McCanless turned to me and said, “It’s not fast food, it’s Wendy’s.”

Needless to say, she’ll not be allowed to watch television over Christmas break. (I swear she doesn’t watch THAT much television at all!)

Also had to mention this…

My pantry door panels are painted with chalkboard paint. McCanless often leaves drawings or scribbles for me. This week, I saw her first and last name written with “5000in8” above it. I asked her what she was trying to spell. She looked at me as if she was completely exasperated with me and said, “MOM, I wrote my name. See you spell it like this, M-C-C-A-N-L-E-S-S-P-E-N-N-I-N-G-T-O-N, and I wrote the date, two thousand IN eight.” (She had the 2 backward.)

The Littlest Angel

At the last minute on Sunday, our youth minister at St. Barts, Ms. Kathy, asked if Mary Clare would dress up for the children’s choir pre-Christmas nativity program. (The children performed for the adult Sunday School class. It was a dress rehearsal for their Christmas Eve performance.) Mel got these shots on his iphone as I stood near the children, (just in case).

My sweet Mary Clare dressed up (halo and all), walked right up to McCanless and stood in front of the children for the entire performance. She was a complete doll and smiled and even danced a bit. She was quite the star of the show. I shouldn’t be surprised. Mary Clare’s favorite thing to do now is dress up. Like her big sister, she is obsessed with all things pink and glittery. Every day she chooses a princess dress to wear and refuses to take it off until I hold her down!

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When Ms. Kathy pulled out the jingle bells for one of the songs, Mary Clare had to get a closer look. Ms. Kathy allowed Mary Care to hold and jingle the bells for the rest of the performance. She loved that!

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I couldn’t help but have a tear in my eye as I remembered just a year ago, December 12, 2007 we were on our way home from MUSC, still uncertain about her future, hoping and praying that her little heart would adjust and heal from her second open-heart surgery. It has been over one year since her last surgery and my littlest angel is doing exceptionally well. I am so thankful that she is here with us to help us celebrate a very special Christmas!

Quotes of the day…

“Waiting on presents is no fun at all.” McCanless after a brief lesson on patience.

“You and Daddy better give me a gift, too.” This was after a few dozen explanations on why Mommy has been shopping for everyone but her and after I excitedly tell her that Santa would bring her lots of gifts on Christmas morning.

Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree!

How can you go wrong with a 27′ Christmas tree, 800 cookies, Santa, Mrs. Claus and two elves? Daddy’s tree lighting was a huge success! It was certainly a family affair that will hopefully continue for years to come!

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Mary Clare is definitely not a fan of Santa this year!

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Baby Abigail isn’t afraid of any old Santa!

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McCanless and Vivian always have fun!

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Mimi, Bapa, and Uncle John man the cookie and cider table!

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Sissy on MC patrol with her twinkling Santa hat!

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Mel ordered a real postal box, had it painted red, and actually created and applied the lettering himself! It is so cute! I know Santa loves it! The girls and I worked on their letters to Santa yesterday, complete with drawings and stickers and lip gloss kisses. I finally decided that it may help McCanless realize that her list can’t change daily!! (Santa doesn’t need that kind of stress!) I carefully explained once we wrote the letter, that was it, no turning back! What was on her list was what she will receive. Let’s hope that works!

Hartsville Christmas Parade 2008

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Sissy, in the pink hat, joined us after her run! (She was in town from Florida!)

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Nonnie and Mary Clare

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Mimi and Bapa drove up from Hilton Head to visit for the fun weekend! Mimi’s final tally for cookies was over 800!

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Mommy and Mary Clare

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Despite a fun parade going on, grandparents galore, and about 50 degree weather, McCanless was having a “moment.” Her socks were weird and she refused to wear a coat!

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Uncle John McCanless, who came all the way from NC, and Bapa!

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Daddy on the golf cart making sure the parade was running smoothly! (Mary Clare got one glance of our golf cart and HAD to go!)

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I sure hope Santa didn’t see McCanless earlier!

Goin’ on a Tree Hunt!

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Who needs Santa? We’ve got a tree full of new toys!

It didn’t take Mary Clare long to discover all of the wonderful new toys hanging on our Christmas tree! She has had a ball pulling on the beads and draping them around her neck, and taking care of all of the many “babies” she has adopted!

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…kissing her “baby.”

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…giving the “baby” her passy.

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Running to hug Mommy!

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…and so the 25 days of Christmas begin with a Musical!

THA had a Christmas musical last week to kick off the Christmas season! McCanless and her kindergarten counterparts dressed in their warm winter PJ’s and sang the most adorable Christmas songs!

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McCanless and Stella

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…and of course, Anne-Hackett, who has been a great pal (and neighbor) since they were born!

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Mary Clare and Mary Jackson, one of her best buddies!

This is where my children get it…

There was an article on the front page of the Messenger this week telling the world about what Mel has been up to lately. Being in charge of the Hartsville Christmas parade apparently isn’t enough for him, so this year he takes on erecting a GIGANTIC Christmas tree for the city of Hartsville. All in Mel style, of course…last minute, absolutely no plans. He, however, managed to rope in many excited “volunteer” elves. The parade is on Saturday morning and the Christmas tree lighting is on Saturday night complete with a bright red postal box for Santa letters, sugar cookies and cider. (Mel’s mom has already baked some 600 cookies or so with plans to make more on Saturday!) It is all I can do to keep up with my children and my husband!

The four of us…2008!

Steve Roos did it again! I love our family photos. So much so, that I couldn’t narrow them down to a couple to post. (I have saved the best for Christmas cards, however!!) I have so many more, but these are a few of my favorites!! Thanks, Steve, you are awesome!

The last time Steve photographed us for our Christmas card, I was 9 weeks pregnant and he was the only other soul in the world to know, aside from Mel, obviously! Our card read, “Merry Christmas from the four of us!” (Which was how we told the world of our sweet Mary Clare!)

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Mel even got Steve!

All is well in the Pennington household, sort of…

My sister, Kate, and I took Mary Clare for a cardiology appointment at MUSC today. After an ECG and clinic visit, all seems to be going extremely well. Dr. Forbus said all we do now is wait. He would like her to be 30 lbs or age 3 before her 3rd surgery, the Fontan. (See Fontan Procedure at Wikipedia.com, it gives a pretty simple and easy to follow explanation.) She is currently up to 22 lbs, which is considered “heavyweight” for a heart baby, so I’m guessing the 30 lbs will come first. We also discussed her cyanosis, deoxygenated blood in her extremities, which causes her blue hands and feet. We’ll have to monitor this closely. Sometimes, I swear, she looks like Barney, the big purple dinosaur. I have even had strangers in the grocery store or at the pool this summer ask me about it. How do you explain that? Well, she has extremely low oxygen in her blood. Why? Well, long story.

She is getting her RSV vaccine each month and aside from a constantly runny nose has been very healthy this winter season, so far. So blessed.

McCanless, on the other hand, I’ve recently discovered has tactile defensiveness, a sensory processing disorder. WHAT? (Even harder to explain than blue hands.) I’ve been discussing her “issues” with her teacher and a few colleagues and was even referred to an occupational therapist here in Hartsville, who ironically worked with Mary Clare last summer during her feeding issues. She is a brilliant woman and was very successful with Mary Clare.

I’ve mentioned the daily wars going on in the mornings with McCanless and her attire. Calling it war is actually a gentle way of putting it, a complete understatement. Throw in the fact that she has never been, or ever will be a morning person and you’ve got a nightmare. Literally, every single morning is a battle, a melt-down, a fit that ends in tears, ripped clothes and a naked 4-year-old. (I’m talking no turtlenecks, no jeans, no socks, nothing too tight, too loose, that touches her wrong, that twists on her arms, that moves or flaps, no puff sleeves, no seams or tags but with a tight waist.) I don’t know how or why she will dress up and even sleep in a prickly princess gown, yet find nothing in her closet to wear to school.

I have tried it all: stickers on a chart, allowing her to dress herself, which I’ve always done anyway, choosing the outfit(s) the night before, being nice, being mean, getting Daddy involved, which is always a disaster. Two non-morning persons fighting in the morning only ends ugly.

In the past week alone, the following has occurred: A) I have taken McCanless to school in just her panties, threatening to make her walk into her building like that (Only a threat, I dressed her in the car before we walked in, of course.) B) She ran out of the house in her birthday suit (BUCK NAKED, I swear) because she was in a fit of rage about what to wear. (I told her I was leaving her so I walked out and she followed and, of course, a neighbor passed by.) and C) She hasn’t worn panties at all, not to school, bed or anywhere!

So either I’ve got a future nudist on my hands or a tactilely defensive child. I’m going with the second for now, so lately I’ve been searching the internet for seamless socks and spandex or lycra/ exercise type clothes for her to wear under regular clothes for “calming, evenly distributed deep pressure input.” I’ve also begun “brushing” her, a technique to help my SPD baby girl. This is all new to me but I’m willing to try anything at this point. It makes for pretty interesting reading. Google it.

I can roll with the punches and find humor in most anything, usually, but this is getting crazy. One would think that my baby girls would have “normal abnormalities.” I’m pretty normal. Mel can be. I never go to the doctor, ever, nor does Mel. What brought all of this on? Sometimes, however, with my half-heart blueberry baby and my naked, raging spaz, I think to myself, “What did I do before my sweet angels were in my life?” How boring it must have been.

Yee, Haw! Dixie Stampede Christmas Spectacular

Nonnie treated us to a night at Dixie Stampede at the beach this past weekend. We all went as children and even though it has been about 15 years or so since we have been, we loved it all the same! We were so excited and couldn’t wait to go! McCanless and Mary Clare sat mesmerized throughout the entire show! It was a great way to kick off the Christmas season!

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Mary Clare was so excited to see the huge tree in front of “Dolly’s” mansion. She ran up to it, stared at it for a minute and then walked around and around it pulling and tugging at every ornament and light! (I can’t wait to get our tree up. Looks like I’m going to have a half-decorated tree this year.)

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Horse racing in the gift shop!

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Pre-dinner “drinks” in the Saloon!

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The girls were able to meet the horses and riders after the show!

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…and get autographs from EVERY SINGLE rider in the show!

My Thanksgiving Beach Babies…

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Thanksgiving Day 2008

We had such a fun Thanksgiving weekend. (Aside from the USC/CU game, that is.) We stuffed ourselves on Thursday and headed to the beach on Friday! Nonnie even treated us to the Dixie Stampede Christmas Spectacular Show!!

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Mary Clare helped Nonnie and Kate with the pumpkin roll.

I promise “Bubba” was there, too! He was busy watching football.

Nothing like dancing in front of the fireplace with a Popsicle.

Pass the smoked turkey, please!

Mel and I hit the road again this year to participate in the YMCA 5K Turkey Trot! We’ve missed the past couple of years because of: A) laziness and B) My pregnancy, not a great reason, but a reason nonetheless. In years past, my entire family braved the cold winter morning to run, however, now that they are all 21, Mac’s Lounge has taken precedence and running on a late night out can’t be fun. We do it for fun and have never “trained” for it at all, still, I smoked Mel this year. Our times this year are nothing to brag about, but the fact that we got up on a Thanksgiving morning, ran 3 miles in the freezing cold and actually finished, it is a feat in itself!!

We always have lots of fun because so many of our friends and neighbors also run. It is more of a social event for Mel, of course. I could hear him behind me chatting away and yelling, “Runner coming through!” He even veered off course to chat with bystanders and played a practical joke on the Mayor, as we ran by his house.

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Kerri: 32:55 Mel: 42:24

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I finished before Mel so I was able to catch him running just before the finish line! Go Mel!

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How could I have forgotten PA?

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McCanless and Mary Clare have one more grandparent, their only great grandfather, PA! I assume that I only failed to mention his name in their grandparent line up simply because he is MY grandparent. I still see Pa as my Pa. I have yet to pass him down to my children. Pa is that grandparent that makes you feel as though you will never grow up, nor need to grow up. Pa is that one grandparent that you know will always get you out of trouble; the one that will always have a bit of extra spending money for you, and always tell you that you are his favorite. Most of you that knew me growing up, most definitely knew Pa. He was, and still is such an important part of our lives. Kacy, Kate, Alston and I are his only grandchildren and it certainly shows, as he has spoiled each of us rotten and continues to do so, even though all of us are 21+.

Even with his sometimes foul mouth and Ashland accent that can make you question is intellect and morality, Pa is a very smart man. He finished Newberry College in three years, (back when they had classes on Saturday) to come home to manage his family farm. He also opened a very successful convenience store in Ashland. Judge Woodham is also lead magistrate for Lee County. (This is what helps with the “gets you out of trouble” part!) He reads his Bible every night and is at his church whenever the doors are open. He fusses like crazy about my grandmother and “her ways” but we all know how much he misses her and how she was the love of his life.

He loves Merle Haggard and George Jones, and sings out loud in the shower. He hates old people. He can shag like a pro and loves to fish off the pier in Garden City Beach. He used to pay us to scratch his head, and he would always take us with him to the farm to groom his gamecocks. He taught us how to play video poker, not to leave home without money, that family is more important and anything, how to trust, and how to drink liquor. (He also owned a liquor store and made us “taste” it when we were young so we would know “how to drink.”)

He adores “Shoe Gal.” (The name he so poignantly nick-named McCanless when she was a toddler because of her fondness of shoes.) He tells me that she is the spitting image of Kate and although he laughs and says that he can’t handle another Kate, I secretly think he loves having a reminder of a younger Kate and all of her quirky, attitude stricken “ways!” He loves complaining about how we were (and still are) and McCanless loves listening to his stories.

Pa and Mary Clare have a connection. He has always had a certain bond with her that none of us fully understood until we realized exactly why. Mary Clare has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, sometimes refered to as “Blue Baby Syndrome.” Thankfully, we had her in a time where this diagnosis didn’t mean that there was no hope. In years past, having a baby with a severe heart defect meant imminent death. These babies were born blue due to the blood flow from their defect, and thus were called blue babies. Pa’s second son, Alston Wesley Woodham, III, was born a blue baby on Halloween Day in 1964, a time of little hope for blue babies. Pa allowed the doctors to take his newborn son’s tiny heart for research so that one day there could be hope. Hope for babies like his great granddaughter, Mary Clare.

Learning to read…

Here is a video of McCanless with one of her school practice “books”… She starts off strong, then begins to show off a little and ends up being just a wee bit too McCanless in the end. I had to abruptly turn off the camera to discuss her last little comment.

Grandparent’s Day at THA 2008

Today was Grandparent’s Day at Thomas Hart! McCanless was thrilled to have so many grandparents around! She and Mary Clare are fortunate enough to have 8 grandparents and 3 great-grandparents! How about this line-up: PaPa and BB, Mimi and BaPa, Nonnie and Bubba, Pop and Grandma B, Great grandmother, Great NaNa, and Great JoJo. (That’s a mouth full.)

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After a very sweet musical presentation, the children were able to take their grandparents to their classrooms to show off just a bit.

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Of course, McCanless’ grandparents thought her work was the most beautiful…that she was the most beautiful…the most brilliant…the most creative…(need I say more?)

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PaPa, Mimi, Nonnie and Great JoJo

One Little, Two Little, Three Little…..Native Americans

“Mom, Ms. Chure says you don’t say ‘Indian.'”

“You say, ‘Native American!'”

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Three feathers in her headdress for 3 syllables in MUH-CAN-LESS!

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This year her Native American name is “Lightning Dancer,” which suits her completely! It has been funny to see what her teachers name her each year. In 2K she was sarcastically dubbed “Princess Morning Dove.” (She has always had problems with mornings.) Last year, her 3K teacher very appropriately named her, “Free Spirit.” It seems that I should invest in a better Native American costume, as it has been our luck that she has been chosen to be one every year!

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“Ms. Jenny’s” 4K class of Pilgrims.

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Ms. Chure’s 4K class of Native Americans.

Guess who can R-E-A-D??

I’m so very proud of my McCanless! Since school began, she has been obsessed with writing. (Although, sometimes it is a bit annoying when every loose piece of paper in the house has letters, names, words, the alphabet, or random words copied from magazines printed in 4-year-old manuscript.) She also began spelling words in the car on the way to school that, apparently, are her popcorn words. (I’m still not 100% what that means. I just know that she knows them inside and out!) Her popcorn words are words that she can read and write and spell without a doubt. Words like: on, off, in, out, a, the, I, me, my, etc…

For a while now she has been asking me all about words that she sees on a daily basis. She is fascinated with words on road signs, restaurant menus, and labels. It is so funny to hear her guess a word or try to sound it out. Each week she brings home small books with short sentences. The books began with simple popcorn words and have progressed to more difficult words like toy and boy and even a few like letters, family, and police. Just last night I realized that she was reading a story about a boy and a dog and a washtub! It dawned on me that she can actually read!! Not just sentences like, “My toy.” She was actually reading real sentences!!

She sounds exactly like what you may think: THE…BOY….AND….THE….DOG….etc. and it is sometimes so hard to listen to her and not laugh aloud. She is very articulate and enunciates each word very distinctly. She is also very proud of herself. She reads with a smug look on her face and occasionally stops to look up and smile at me, making certain I’m aware of her great accomplishment.

We have since tackled a few new real books and she loves reading the words that she knows, and sometimes will make up words in place of those that she doesn’t know. Or she’ll skip “reading” all together and make up her own story based on the illustrations. (It depends on her mood or whatever she has time for at that moment. She is still McCanless!)

My little reader is growing up so quickly!

Our little Gamecock loves Fall!

Mary Clare loves going outside! Lately, with our leaf covered lawn, she has been fascinated with the ground. I think she is trying to find the grass! She laughs out loud when she sees leaves fall!

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My brown-eyed girl…

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Sweet Mary Clare at 17 months…

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Oh, the joys of an almost 1 1/2 year old! McCanless started the terrible twos early and I think Mary Clare is well on her way as well…

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I think things just happen for you when you sling yourself onto the floor in a complete fit….I may give it a try someday.

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Mary Clare is so cute with her hats. I’ll be in the kitchen and I’ll catch a glimpse of her walking by with Goofy ears, or a crown. Then a few minutes later, she’ll have on a fireman hat or toboggan.

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She is also following in her big sister’s footsteps, literally! The girl loves shoes!! These are McCanless’ old Cinderella light-up heels. Mary Clare LOVES them; although, she isn’t too crazy about the loud sound they make when she walks on the hardwood floors.

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McCanless spent this past weekend in Columbia with my sisters. (Yes, I’m still trying to get her back to norm.) Mary Clare and I had a fantastic weekend together. We went to Sara Preston’s 2nd birthday bash on Saturday and had a great time! Mary Clare went on a train ride, a hay ride and even got to pick her own pumpkin!

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Sometimes she is so serious and she is always up to something!

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Mary Clare even loves to dress up like her big sis! This weekend, we were in the playroom and she kept handing me different dress-up clothes that she wanted on. This was the ensemble that she came up with. She looked ridiculously cute, but had such a serious look on her face as if she was determined to get something accomplished! I’m not sure what that was, but she was determined nonetheless.

My sweet baby girl is growing so quickly! She continues to amaze me with all that she is learning each and every day. She still prefers a point and a nod to spoken language, but I know she understands many words and phrases. A few words she uses regularly are: juice, thank-you, please, mine-mine, ba-ba (bottle-Yes, I still give her a bottle at night. McCanless was completely finished with bottles at 10 months. Mary Clare, I’m keeping a baby as long as I can!), tee-tee (not sure why) “HAY” (hello), belly, Ommy (my nick name). She’ll also repeat just about anything you say to her, and she continues to sign a few words.

When I ask her to complete a task like taking something to the trash, or hand something to her Daddy, she’ll immediately comply. She has also started to “fake cry,” which is the funniest thing. She’ll scrunch up her little face and make the most pitiful little whine. Now, it is the cutest thing ever. I’m sure it will get old one day. She certainly knows exactly how to get what she wants from any of us, especially her big sister. McCanless continues to treat her more like her own child than her baby sister. She gives in to Mary Clare’s every desire, and they never “fuss.” (Unless Mary Clare cries for what McCanless has. In which case, she’ll always get it.)

She has the most adorable beauty pageant wave and will always wave hello and goodbye to any and everyone. She still loves her baby dolls and loves to play with balls. She is definitely a mommy’s girl and is an absolute snuggle bug! She also continues to drive us crazy with her plundering and nosy little self. I feel like I make circles around the house just cleaning up after Hurricane Mary Clare, as she pulls out everything from pots and pans to laundry to every item in my purse!

She is still at a petite 21 lbs, although those cheeks won’t stop! We have a cardiology appointment in December, which will let us know how that little half heart of hers is doing! If it is anything like her spunky little personality, I’m sure it is just fine! Our little tough-as-nails, sassy, sweetheart is such a joy and we treasure each moment, even those “almost two” fits of hers!

I’ll take the bad with the good…

McCanless always surprises me. I’ve learned to expect the unexpected with her and from time to time I learn from her spontaneity and her spunk. Mary Clare taught me to savor life, McCanless reminds me to.

I’ve mentioned that she loves to hang out with my 8th graders, and every morning during homeroom, she has the opportunity. I get to school around 7:45 am on a good day. She has about 15 minutes with my students until I take her (drag her) over to her building. Lately, my students and McCanless have been playing hide-and-seek. She was hiding under my desk at my feet when my headmaster came in to chat with me. As I was looking up at him, McCanless shouted at him (his feet), “Na-Na-Na Boo Boo, you can’t get me.” and knocked his shoe with a balled-up fist. I quickly smiled at him and began to explain. He chuckled as I began to drag McCanless out from under my desk PRAYING that she would at least apologize, or smile, or sing…anything to recover! She didn’t, of course. She didn’t flinch. She wasn’t shocked. She wasn’t scared. She said, “Hey, you’re not an 8th grader!” and ran over to find her pals.

I was certainly embarrassed of that little minor incident and I tried to “not sweat it,” but I certainly couldn’t get it off of my mind. McCanless has a mind of her own and is certainly strong willed. Each day, I get glimpses of others in the grocery store/playground/school of those who I can FEEL thinking, “If my child were saying that to me….” or “I would never let a 4-year-old say those things to me.” “Why would anyone give a 4-year-old an option, anyway.” UGGHH! I get so frustrated. I know she is a fantastically wonderful, creative free spirit, but I wish others did too!

I was thinking this way for a couple of days, and she did it again. McCanless threw me for a loop. We had a SCISA teacher’s conference in Orangeburg yesterday. As I walked around the convention center walking by booths I also noticed the artwork submitted for judging. I knew our art teacher submitted a few and I was glancing at the winners trying to find work from our students. Another teacher from THA saw me and asked if I saw McCanless’ art? What? I had no idea! McCanless’ art was submitted in the 4K/5K division and was given a ribbon. This category wasn’t judged, but hers was only one of about 15 in that category on display out of over 100 SCISA schools. I was so proud of her at that moment! Several other teachers came up to admire her painting and I thought my heart (and my head) would explode with pride. I wanted to say, “Na-Na-Na Boo Boo,” but of course, I didn’t!!

My little wonderful, sassy-mouth artist, Mommy is so very proud of you!

Ms. Susan and all of her tiny monsters…

Ms. Susan emailed these photos to me this week…

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Ms. Susan and Ms. Lisa know how to throw a mean Halloween party! (Several children come in after pre-school, so the parties continued all day!) I could tell when I went to pick up Mary Clare; the kiddos were wild!! We love Ms. Susan so much!! She is always smiling and laughing, and she loves “her children” so very much!

Disappearing cupcakes…

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As I was helping McCanless assemble her cowgirl costume, I found Mary Clare with this…

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Caught in the act!!

McCanless continues to celebrate Halloween with different costumes daily. (Mimi bought her this cute cowgirl costume when that was her Halloween costume plan. Of course, plans changed, but the costume is too cute!! Now she complains that she needs a better cowgirl hat and new boots to complete the outfit.)

Yesterday as I was helping McCanless “gather” boots, one of Daddy’s hats to ‘work for now’ and scouring the house for a rope, I found Mary Clare with an opened cupcake almost completely eaten. How in the world she found it (probably from McCanless’ lunch box), opened it and almost finished it before I noticed it is beyond me. Maybe she takes after her daddy, who loved magic as a child, and will be a magician.

I told you the girl loves sweets!

Trick-or-Treat 2008

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All smiles for the girls team! Daddy was the designated cart driver this year!

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First stop, PaPa and BB’s house…right around the corner.

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Aunt Harriet and Uncle Scott’s house….right around the other corner!

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A few neighbor’s houses….

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We also rode the cart down College Avenue, aka Trick-or-Treating hot spot of Hartsville. We, however, were headed to a great Halloween Party at the Halls. So great, in fact, that neither Mommy nor Daddy were able to catch one photo of the girls with all of the other little creatures around. The girls went wild running around, playing on the play yard and eating more sweets!! Mommy and Daddy were so worn out, we decided to head to Ashland for the final stop of the evening!

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Finally, something to eat other than CANDY or SUGAR!!

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Mary Clare loved Nonnie’s dancing Frankenstein! McCanless also loved him when she was about this age. They both sat in the same place on the kitchen floor and played him over and over and over

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I think someone has had enough sugar for one day.

My Sugar Baby

Mary Clare LOVES sweets! I know that this is probably true for most children, but when I say she really LOVES them, I mean it. She REALLY LOVES sweets! She would gladly pass up just about anything for a sucker, and when she sees anything that resembles a candy wrapper, she goes nuts, nodding her head, grunting, signing for “more,” anything to get that sugar!! A friend of ours made Halloween cupcakes for the girls and Mary Clare got so far as to catch a glimpse of them on my console in the car and she had to have one immediately. So to avoid a complete melt-down in the car, I let her have it. Let Halloween begin! She had orange icing everywhere in my car, on her car seat, on her, in her, everywhere! What a mess, but what fun!

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Here she is at home. The orange icing was completely dried and hardened on her face by this point. I should have taken a photo of the mess in my car!

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Rubbing it into my chair…at least I’ll never forget the Orange Halloween Cupcake!

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The morning after…

to Dr. Beth’s we went! I guess the golf cart trick-or-treating in chilly weather wasn’t such a great idea. It took those hacking coughs to another level! (Either that or the candy kept both girls up all night long!) I wasn’t taking any chances on the coughs, so we headed to the doctor early this morning. One hour, two bored and obnoxious girls, an ear infection, a sinus infection and two antibiotic prescriptions later, we headed home. So maybe it wasn’t just the candy that kept them up.

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I don’t know why they even bother with that paper on the table. It isn’t like it really keeps germs away. (Especially when my girls are in the office.)

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McCanless finds it necessary to write on every square inch of paper. Mary Clare finds it necessary to tear every square inch of paper and throw it on the floor. They both get in each other’s way in doing so, which means irritated, annoyed girls AND Mommy.

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I also found about 20 tongue depressors in my purse tonight. I have absolutely no idea how, but I guess McCanless figured out how to sneak a few without Dr. Beth or me noticing! Another lesson, another “talk”…

The Great Pumpkin 2008

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Just to clarify…I don’t typically allow McCanless to dress herself this crazy! (Well, for school anyway.) This week is Red Ribbon Week, a drug prevention/drug awareness educational program. (Equivalent to our D.A.R.E., if you remember that in school.) Today’s theme was, “It’s CRAZY to do drugs!” Kids wore crazy clothes and hair to school. McCanless LOVED today and was thrilled that I allowed her to wear her Christmas dress that she has been dying to wear everyday since we bought it! She completely and 100% dressed her self crazy today all by herself! I did her hair with strict instructions on exactly what to do. Mommy dressed up too, which McCanless thought was great.

As for Mary Clare, no excuse. Mel dresses her every morning, and his choices in bow colors don’t always work. Today, I let it go. Usually, I’ll re-dress her when I pick her up or at least change bows. Today, we had only one thing on our minds, and that was to make that big pumpkin of ours a Jack-O-Lantern before Halloween night!!

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It really is a HUGE pumpkin! I thought we’d never get it scooped out!

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As I was carving one side of our pumpkin, McCanless was busy on the other side. I didn’t even notice until she told me she “stabbed” our pumpkin with every “carver” we have. Yikes!

This photo was taken just before Mary Clare dumped the entire bowl of pumpkin guts all over her head.

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Cheese! Don’t you just love all of the Jack-O-Lantern teeth we have around here?

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Last year, we carved Cinderella’s castle, and I swore NEVER to attempt that again! (McCanless likes to help WAY too much for that!) We love our happy Jack-O-Lantern!

Mary Clare and her books…

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Mary Clare loves to read and will grab a book first thing in the morning before heading toward any toys. (Hence, the bed head in the photos above. Oh, and on her cheek is the Halloween tattoo that refused to come off after rigid scrubbing!) She’ll open up a book, hold it up to me and say, “REEEEEEED.” She loves to point to the pictures and turn the pages herself.

Bath Time Fun

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The girls love to bathe together but make a complete mess in the bathroom! The floor ends up with more water than the tub.

2008 THA Halloween Carnival

On Friday night, we suited up the girls and headed to THA’s 11th annual Halloween Carnival. It is always such a wonderful carnival complete with a witch DJ/host, all kinds of kiddie games, costume contests, a cake walk, glass dime booth, lots of plastic prizes and way too much candy!

There were a ton of people there, which is one reason why I didn’t get great photos! The girls were running in opposite directions, and even with Mimi, Nonnie, Kate and Daddy there to help out, it was complete chaos! I even forgot to “man” McCanless’ class booth for my designated parent time slot! (Whoops) Sugar, people, loud Halloween music and two grandmothers make for WILD Pennington girls! It also makes for a wonderfully fun night!

For Halloween, I’ve learned not to plan too far in advance when it comes to McCanless. Last year my plans for a Princess (McCanless) and the Pea (Mary Clare) ensemble flopped when McCanless decided to be Jasmine around 5PM on Halloween night. A costly decision, as I spend so much time and money on the perfect princess costume. The Jasmine costume we had in her dress-up trunk. Oh well, Jasmine and the Pea were just as adorable, but Jasmine, the Arabian Princess and the Pea just doesn’t sound as good. So much for trying to coordinate.

This year, McCanless has changed her mind at least a dozen times and we’ve been so busy lately, I’ve barely had time to think about costumes at all, much less about coordinating costumes. Last week, when I realized that the carnival was quickly approaching and the girls need costumes, I grabbed a couple of from Target. A brave move without McCanless there to approve! I was just hoping they would at least work for the carnival night! (McCanless is convinced that she should have two costumes.) McCanless LOVED the witch costume. Mary Clare even loved wearing her spider costume and looked so cute! (She wouldn’t wear the hat, which was a bit too small for my melon headed baby girl.)

McCanless even did her own make-up!

Mary Clare kept ducking into this booth. Katelyn, her very first babysitter, outside of family, was there telling fortunes. I’m not sure which she loved most, Katelyn or the suckers.

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Mary Clare and Mary Jackson will be in the same class at THA one day!

Raised in a barn…

This morning as I was washing my hands in the faculty bathroom at school, I heard a loud knock. I said, “Out in a sec!” and continued on. I heard another louder, longer knock. Annoyed, I thought, this must be a student. Teachers always wait patiently. Another knock and I thought, okay, who is this annoying child, and what can I say to him or her at this “teachable” moment about politeness, as I also remind him or her that this is the TEACHERS ONLY bathroom. I quickly swung open the door, put on a stern teacher face and in popped a short elementary kid that was already pulling down her skirt and orange and black tights. The same orange and black tights that were the topic of yet another early morning argument at my house. Yes, it was McCanless. In the same orange and black tights that she pulled out of the dirty clothes to wear yet again but freaked out about how “tight” they were??!!

Sweet Mary Clare

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I told her to smell the flowers. They must have tickled her nose because she sniffed them and burst into laughter!

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She’s pointing to the “passy” in my hand!

It seems as though Mary Clare’s verbal skills have taken off this week! I’ve known for quite a while that she understands many words and phrases, but she never seemed to want to say much, until now. Her desired form of communication continues to be a point and a grunt, however, she’ll forget once in a while and shout out a word or two! She surprises me sometimes with a precisely clear word that I had no idea she knew! Last night McCanless was watching Noggin and a song about a duck was playing. Mary Clare pointed to the television and began shouting, “DUCK!” I’ve never worked with her on this one and I have no idea how she knew it!

She certainly understands how to communicate yes and no. I’ve watched Mel pick up at least 30 different toys/snacks/babies/etc. showing her each one and asking her if this or that was what she needed. (Talk about wrapped.) She shook her little head to every item until he finally got to exactly what she wanted. She smiled and nodded yes. I think Mel would jump through hoops to make her happy. I thought he was going to jump out of the car tonight when she finally called him, “DA-DA.”

She is growing so quickly I can barely keep up! She is still a Mommy’s girl and loves to be held, although she’s extremely independent. She loves carrying her baby dolls around, something McCanless was never too fond of. She will walk around the house and dig into everything, leaving a trail behind her. Her kiss is a wide-open slobbery mess and she loves to blow kisses. She has a dainty beauty pageant wave and says, “HAY” to everyone, even strangers like a true Southern Belle. She is such a busy body and always wants to see what is happening. When Emmie barks, signaling a visitor, Mary Clare drops everything and runs toward the front door just to see who is there. Her books are among her favorite toys and will walk up with an open book and say, “REEEEED.” She loves to play with phones and holds them up to her ear as if she is talking to someone. She laughs at her big sister often, who is still her hero, but annoys her like crazy. She is definitely a passy lover. We are in it for the long haul. She loves music. When she hears music, whether at home, in the grocery store, or anywhere, she immediately starts to sway her head and begins to “MC dance” waving her arms and twisting. In the car, she will point and whine until she hears music. I get at least one comment on her adorable, fluffy cheeks everyday. She is a very trusting and content child. She is a tough little cookie that can hold her own.

October 2008

The girls and I were in the yard on Sunday afternoon waiting on Daddy to get home. They absolutely love playing outside and have the best time on the swing. I thought they looked so cute, I just had to grab my camera! (I promise I didn’t pose my little 4-year-old model…she just does that in front of a camera!)

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My two, very different girls…

Sorry, this video is sideways. (I held my camera sideways as I filmed.) I can’t figure out how to download them for the web and rotate, and I always seem to forget this when I grab my camera. There is nothing out of the ordinary about this video, I just find it funny that Mary Clare seems to ignore her big sister. She is wandering in and out of the playroom as McCanless does her thing, which is loud and obnoxious as usual. Mary Clare stops a minute, and unfazed, continues on. She is too funny!

Nothing like ice cream on the first chilly night of Fall!!

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Hopefully not an annual event…

I’ve decided that Mary Clare wants to be a doctor for Halloween. Last September and October, she was admitted to the hospital for 1-a UTI, and 2-heart catheterization and this year, last Wednesday, she decided to get a bacterial infection and drop her O2 stats for yet another overnighter in the hospital. I guess the pea in the pod costume didn’t cut it for her last year.

All things considered, she is a healthy baby (as healthy as a baby with a half of a heart can be, I imagine) and aside from 2 major open heart surgeries, has had very few doctor and hospital visits. When she does get sick, she does it all the way. All or nothing. Which I’m learning more and more everyday is how my husband and my girls approach life.

Personally, I feel that the wonderful nurse practitioner that saw her at our doctor’s office during night clinic overreacted just a wee bit. Sure, no one likes to see O2 stats drop in the low 70’s, but when they start in the low 80’s, the norm and below norm should alter. I took Mary Clare in because she was running a fever. I didn’t even bother to check it with a thermometer, I could just tell she was sick. (Mother’s intuition thing.) I don’t even think we have a thermometer, now that I mention it. She did have a 100 fever once the nurse checked. After Tylenol, and before the practitioner checked Mary Clare, she was feeling much better and fever had dropped. However, once her O2 stats read 71, it was all over, to the ER we headed, practically shoved out of the door by the nurses. Mary Clare had her rosy complexion, as usual, and wasn’t in any distress, obviously. But who am I to argue with a medical professional? We also stayed in contact with Dr. Forbus, Mary Clare’s cardiologist in Charleston. He seemed to think she was fine, just wanted a chest x-ray to rule out other possibilities. He was off but didn’t hesitate to answer his cell and talk to us and to the doctors here in Hartsville.

In the long run, I’m very glad that doctors are extremely cautious with her, my delicate heart baby girl. She ended up having a bacterial infection and nothing more. After a load of antibiotics, a night under a croup tent with oxygen for the both of us, IV fluids and lots of tests, we are home and she is fine. Overreactions are better than under reactions, I suppose. It was a long couple of days and she is back to her sweet self, plundering and rummaging through the house non-stop. She didn’t even skip a beat when Mimi and Bapa came to visit this weekend.

McCanless still has yet to decide what to be for Halloween. I imagine it will change at least 20 times before the big day. As for Mary Clare, I’m not taking the hint just yet. (Unless she springs another ER visit on me within the next couple of weeks. I’m praying that won’t happen.) Remember, I only have a couple of years of chubby bugs and pumpkins before she insists on dressing herself in glitter make-up, plastic heels and princess costumes.

Fall Beach Babies…

Nonnie, Aunt Kacy, the girls and I headed down to the beach last weekend for a wonderful girls-only beach trip! We always love going down this time of year! Unfortunately, McCanless didn’t understand why I didn’t pack swim suits! She saw others swimming and cried when I explained that we don’t swim in the fall. (Although it was definitely warm enough and many others were hitting the waves, Mommy was not getting in!) McCanless cried for summer all the way home. Most certainly a trait she inherited from me!

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Resident Artists…

Last week, I decided that I needed new artwork for my dining room. I’ve always thought that both of my girls are the most brilliant artists I know, so I put them to work! McCanless has always loved to paint, and it seems that Mary Clare is falling right into big sisters footsteps!

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Interesting…

I’ve previously written about our baby girl’s middle name and the irony behind it, however, I’ve discovered a bit more interesting news regarding one of the doctors that helped save her life. Mel and I decided on Mary Clare’s middle name long before we knew much about her medical procedures and definitely long before we realized that her middle name was also apart of the name of the shunt within her tiny heart that saved her life, the BT shunt.

Dr. Alfred Blalock was a pioneer in the BT-shunt procedure named after him, the Blalock-Taussig. (The first of Mary Clare’s surgeries that inserted a shunt to allow her to live until her second corrective heart surgery. The shunt was removed during the second surgery.) By the way, if you haven’t read before, Mary Clare’s middle name is Blaylock. Spelled differently and after Mel’s great aunt, but pronounced the same!

Lately, I’ve been reading a blog titled, “Adventures of a Funky Heart” by an adult survivor of a CHD. I think the writer is also from SC! Today is a post on the first procedure done by Dr. Blalock and contemplates animal research. I also discovered that Dr. Blalock worked and researched at Johns Hopkins, where my great grandad and grandad studied surgery and medicine. In fact, the dog named Anna, that survived the very first BT shunt procedure became the mascot of the Johns Hopkins Surgical Lab and lived there until her death in 1957. She even had her portrait hung in the Hospital. I just wonder if my grandfather knew of Anna? So many people and animals to be thankful for!

Check out the blog…Adventures of a Funky Heart. Very interesting!!

My Dancing Princess

McCanless was lucky enough to be the only “4Ker” to go to the THA middle school dance last weekend! I had to chaperone and I let her tag along. I wasn’t sure how my middle school kids would like having a “baby” around, but they surprised me as usual and actually loved having her around! She danced for 2 straight hours, and stopped only when I pulled her, dragged her rather, off of the dance floor at 9 pm. I thought I’d give the older kids at least an hour without her! She had such a great time and cried all the way home. She didn’t want to leave!

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Now, I only have to explain to her that she isn’t really allowed to go to the middle school dances until she is actually in middle school!

Playdate with Pals at Lawton Park

The Corrys were in town (all the way from Texas) and we were able to get together for a playdate at Lawton Park! Lauren and I have been friends since middle school and it is fun to watch our babies play together!

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David and McCanless

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Mary Clare and Grant

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McCanless is so ready for Halloween! She has been begging me to buy a pumpin, so instead I pulled out all of our Halloween paraphernalia! This is how she dressed for dance this week after she got her little hands on everything!

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She never wants to just smile for the camera these days…

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My McCanless is always surprising me. I’m sure everyone reading this blog has some idea of the McCanless that I know… The McCanless that is very sassy, outspoken, spontaneous, and “strong willed.” Of course, she has her moments when she enjoys sitting to paint, read or listen to her head phones. But for the most part, she is wide open, 24-7. Literally.

Lately, I have been discovering another side to my little priss. Ms. Chure even went so far as to call her a little “nerd.” (In a teasingly good way, of course!) Apparently, McCanless always does EXACTLY what teachers tell her and does what she is supposed to do BEFORE they tell her. So much so, that she is usually the helper and aides with other students. (Okay, I can see the helping other students part because she is such a bossy little mama, but the ALWAYS does what she is supposed to do is throwing me for a loop.) She never ceases to amaze me!

In fact, I watched her yesterday on the playground with one of her classmates. He was assigned to sit at the table for morning recess with his stuffed animal because he was playing with it at an inappropriate time during class. McCanless was sitting right beside him making certain that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he was “following the rules,” as she put it. She even went so far as to explain why he was in trouble…over and over and over. The poor thing sat there with his lips poked out and actually listened to her.

Ms. Chure was telling me that last week McCanless and her classmates were at various centers around the room. (Playing at different stations.) When it was time for “circle time,” where everyone gathers around the calendar, Ms. Chure was busy with a guest at the door. McCanless took it upon herself to organize the students and have them sit around her on the carpet. She then began to lead the morning work without Ms. Chure. She reviewed the calendar, numbers, letters, the day of the week, the months, etc….Ms. Chure said she was amazed and just stood and watched her to see how far she would go. She did it all. The funny thing is, the students sat and listened to her quietly. Ms. Chure said she has never seen anything like it!

I’ve also noticed that McCanless has her very first crush! (I haven’t told her Daddy yet because he is in 8th grade!) I don’t even think she realizes that she has a crush on him. There is no doubt about how much she loves being involved with my big kids at school. She loves the fact that they call her by name in the hallways, and will go visit with her on the playground at school. She has always LOVED the girls I’ve taught, but this year, she seems to gravitate toward Patric, one of my 8th grade boys. She talks to him after school and even hugs him! He is sweet enough to talk to her and actually hug her in return. She left her lunch box in my classroom this morning and I had him take it to her during 1st period! (At least that’s one perk of having your mom as a teacher at your school!)

I’m so proud of my big girl!

She so reminds me of the nursery rhyme by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

Check out a few photos of McCanless on the playground at school on the THA blog….Hornet Happenings. (Another perk-guess who blogs for THA??)

She shakes her little toosh on the catwalk…

Saturday, Mary Clare was in a fashion show for one of our favorite children’s shops here in Hartsville, Juice. (Check out the website. The photos on the website are all of Hartsville kiddos and pals of ours! Many of them are also THA students. We’ve got pretty beautiful babies here, if I do say so myself!) McCanless spent the morning with Kacy and Nonnie in Ashland because I wasn’t sure how she would like seeing her sister up on stage without her!

Mary Clare was such a ham, even stopping at the end of the runway to smile and twirl a bit for the audience. She loved it and had a ball! I couldn’t get great photos because I was busy keeping track of her and trying not to allow her to ruin the outfit she was modeling. I had to plop her on the stairs with the big girl she was walking out with, run to the audience, snap a few photos and run back behind the stage again to get her!

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“Listen carefully, Mary Clare!” (She is peeking through way in the back of the crowd of models.)

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I don’t think she knew she was the baby!

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My little monkey laughed and played with the other big girls and boys!

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Daddy’s stadium wear was also featured for Minnie’s in Hartsville!

Table for four!

Mary Clare HATES to sit in a highchair. If you have ever had the wonderful opportunity to go out to eat with us, you know exactly what I mean. She will sit to eat for about 2 minutes, but then constantly stand, lean, arch, jump and yell to get up and out!! (Definitely a hazard!) No matter how many times we buckle her, sit her, say, “NO” to her, she wants to get up and go. I don’t think the cardiologists really knew what they were talking about when they mentioned that she may get “winded” or tired easily. This girl is always on go! Low O2 stats or not, she has way more energy than anyone I know!

On a long shot, to help the little highchair dilemma, I bough a booster seat for the dining room table. Wow, what a difference! She loved it and even sat and ate for about 7 minutes! She may get tired of this soon and learn to unbuckle it or figure out how to flip it over. For now, however, we all have a few more minutes to scarf down our meals before she takes off…

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My big girl in her big chair!

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Mommy and MC time…

One of my most favorite times of the day is when I pick up Mary Clare from Ms. Susan’s house. Mary Clare and I have a bit of Mommy & MC time alone before the chaos begins. (Which is when I pick McCanless up from school at 2:30!)

Mary Clare is growing so fast and learning so much every day. I love watching her explore and discover her world. Today, I was in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher while she was in the playroom. She heard me open it, and came running. For some reason she loves to climb in it! She rounded the corner of the kitchen wearing one of McCanless’ dress-up hats, which she does so often. I laughed and decided to follow her around a bit with my camera. Here is what happened…

She thought I was chasing her and took off laughing and headed into her bedroom.

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She loves to play peek-a-boo and was crouching below our “tub-O-babies” and popping up to scare me. Notice her two new front teeth. She now has three on the bottom and five on top and one huge tooth coming in the back. (Mel says we have “orally challenged” children. I think it looks like she is going to have that McCanless gap!) He also thinks it is a bit humorous that my most recent obsession, The Twilight Saga, a book series, is all about vampires, something I’ve never read about until my child began to resemble one!

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She decided to continue playing with Mommy and hide behind the bed.

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We played for a while then I wanted her to show off for me a bit. I know she doesn’t talk much, but she knows a ton of words. She continues to clap and point when she wants something and will even sign a few words like more and thank-you. Here, I asked her to love her baby. She walked right over to the tub, grabbed a baby, gave her a big hug and one of those wide open Mary Clare smacks right on the face.

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“Mary Clare, where is the baby’s eye?”

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“Where is Emmie?”

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“Where is the light?” (Apparently, Emmie knows English, too.)

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Mary Clare loves her books and wanted me to read to her for a while. After I read this book, she sat down in her chair and flipped through it herself. I asked her to show me the yellow circle and she pointed right to it. I guess she’ll eventually talk when she wants to. I’ve learned that this is how my baby girl likes to do things. Nothing is ever as I expect, it is always her own way and in her own time.

New discoveries every day!!

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A Permanent Fixture

McCanless surprised me with an original painting. She even took the liberty of “framing” it and hanging it herself on my bedroom wall.

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This is my beautiful work of art! I’m not sure why she chose to paint on her High School Musical folder, upside down, or why she felt the need to use every bit of tape we had in the house…. and it is a bit difficult to take in every detail because it is behind my door and eye-level to a four-year-old but, nonetheless, I LOVE IT!! I think it will be a permanent fixture on my bedroom wall!

Go Foxes!

Mel, McCanless, Mary Clare and I went to the HHS football game on Friday night and to say the girls had a ball would be a huge understatement! We have “end zone” tickets again this year, which allows us to tailgate before the game with lots of other local Red Fox fanatics. (It is always so fun to go because Mel nor I went to HHS, and to see how excited everyone gets over small town football is crazy. It’s great!) We all get into it donning red and black and of course McCanless in her Red Fox cheering uniform!

McCanless absolutely LOVES watching the band and cheerleaders and camps out by the police line near the band. She literally goes nuts! Mary Clare wore herself out walking up the stairs on one side of the stadium across the row and down the other side…over and over and over and over. I wore myself out allowing her to do so as I followed her across the stadium over and over and over and over. We had so much fun and the Red Foxes even pulled out a huge win.

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McCanless found a few pals to dance with her. Vivian is a neighbor friend and Rhett is in her 4K class.

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Up and away she goes…

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No, it didn’t rain. I told you she went nuts. (Unfortunately, she inherits her craziness and her sweatiness from her Daddy.)

First ponytails!!

How cute are these little blonde sprouts?
First words, first ponytails this week…it’s all happening way to fast!

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Mary Clare’s first ponytails- September 2008

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McCanless’ first ponytails-March 2005
I looked back in my blog archives and discovered that I tried ponytails with McCanless when she was the exact same age!! She had cute little brown sprouts!

Miss Cover Girl

Guess who loves make-up just as much as her big sister?? Mary Clare loves to sit in my lap when I’m putting on my make-up, exactly as McCanless once did… and still does. Now I have two little priss pots fighting over my make-up bag. Occasionally, I’ll allow Mary Clare dig in my bag while I attempt to put on mascara while reaching over the two of them. This was how I found her when I was finished with my own application…

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Big sister promised me that she didn’t help her at all!

Mary Clare’s first word!

Mary Clare has been talking lots lately, none of it making much sense until this week. She has always said, “MOM,” not necessarily meaning me, mommy, mother, unless she is pointing to me. It usually means get me that, I need that, or I want that now! She has many words that aren’t really words at all, just MC Language that only I can decipher…until now!! Quite clearly she says, “thank-you!” Not only that, but she says it appropriately or when asked to repeat it! She definitely puts the emphasis on the YOU part and adds a little Q, which is too funny. It sounds more like, “than-QQQQQ!”

McCanless has had a fun week. It is spirit week at school and we have not had to argue over clothes at all!! She loves dressing up and has even skipped out of the door ready to get to school! Today was PJ day, her favorite so far.

Also this week…

She brought home a Pre-decodable Takehome Book, My Toys, to share with mommy and daddy. She stressed to us that she must share them with both of us for her homework. She was so eager and excited to read to us. (The sentences consisted of: My car. My ball. My doll. etc. ) We three curled up in bed and she must have read it to us 25 times before she began to embellish the story just a bit. Which doesn’t surprise me. Often, she tells me of events that happened at school, and when she knows I’m really listening to her and anxiously awaiting an outcome, she will throw in an added detail or two. Something she obviously inherited from her daddy. The girl in her book decided to throw away all of her toys and go shopping for more at BiLo, but was interrupted when an alligator bit off her leg, which ironically happened to a friend of McCanless’ at school this week, too.

In a rush to get to dance on time and with an anxious McCanless, I mentioned that I had to use the bathroom very quickly and that it woudn’t take a minute! She put her hands on her hips and said, “Is your arm hanging off?…Are your eyes twisted?…Is your head about to fall off?…Are you DYING?…Is it an EMERGENCY?” She smiled at me and winked, which is her favorite thing to do now because she can finally do it! Obviously, this was something she has heard Ms.Chure say!

Yesterday, we were playing in the yard and McCanless thought she heard music. I said, “No McCanless, it was the phone ring.” She immediately began dancing and singing…”in the middle of the night. My father says, ‘What ‘cha gonna do with your life?”

This morning Ms. Patti mentioned to me that she was buzzed in the office from Ms. Gretchen’s music room. She called over the intercom and asked Ms. Gretchen if everything was okay, as this is usually a call for help, questions, emergency, etc. Ms. Gretchen said, “No, McCanless felt the need to reach up and hit the intercom button on her way out of the door.” (I KNOW this is a rule that is always strickly enforced and rarely broken.) Ms. Patti yelled back, “Hi McCanless,” with a chuckle, which didn’t do much to reinforce that rule. Ms. Patti said she loves McCanless and couldn’t help herself. I’m waiting to hear the dog house report after school.

Have I mentioned McCanless is her daddy’s clone?

Welcome to Holland…

This is a story on a fellow heart mom and dear friend’s blog today…

It is for every person who has loved and had the privilege of raising a child with any type of disability. I hope it touches your heart…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987

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Yes, they start in 4K..

If anyone is interested in buying Sally Foster wrapping paper, please go to www.sallyfoster.com! At some point during checkout, enter Thomas Hart Academy in Hartsville, SC as the group for fund raising. The deadline for orders is Sept 11. I just found the information in her bookbag tonight along with all of the weekly lunch/ pick-up information and thought this might be the best way to just ask everyone without beating down doors! (McCanless still gets the credit for her on-line sales, I think?! Whoo hooo, that means a wonderful plastic prize!) Any question, shoot them here in the comments section!

Thanks a bunch!
Kerri

McCanless’ seller number: 280988
THA Group number: 436478

Everybody?

I’ll not post on Mel’s recent experience visiting McCanless at school for lunch last week, I’ll focus on a somewhat more positive note. (I’ll let him post on her latest doghouse visit, which coincided with their lunch date.)

Today, I walked outside on our morning break to watch McCanless on the playground with her class. She was chatting with her teacher and Ms. Chure smiled and looked at me and called McCanless the “class momma.” Ms. Chure then asked her to take another classmate to the bathroom. McCanless took her friend by the hand and headed through the main building doors. (Really, she dragged him by the arm.) A few minutes passed and I had to duck inside for a minute. A few of my older students were laughing and pointed toward the girls bathroom door when they saw me. I reluctantly stepped inside the bright pink bathroom thinking maybe a toilet needed flushing, or someone was sick…I found McCanless shoving her male friend inside the stall. She slammed the door and ran outside to join her class. I think Ms. Chure wanted her to walk him to the boys bathroom, but he didn’t say a word. I waited on him and asked him why he didn’t tell McCanless to walk with him to the boys bathroom. He looked at me with such a surprised face and said, “Everybody does what McCanless says.”

More on Mary Clare…
Mary Clare is becoming more and more vocal, but not really saying many “real” words yet. She is walking like a champ and is so funny. She looks like a little zombie when she walks with her arms straight out front and stiff legs. She is up to 20 lbs now!! She has quite a temper lately too, especially when big sis has what she wants. She is getting about 4 teeth in and bedtime boot camp isn’t going as well as it was in the past. She has been waking up several times throughout the night and, thankfully, Mel has graciously been getting up with her at night, which may explain his most current lapse in parenting skills…

Today, he mentioned to me not to ever leave a sippy cup or food on the bedside table. (Although McCanless would rather not eat at all, I always offer juice and usually dry cereal in a cup. I try to make her take it with us in the car, but I guess this morning we left it in a rush.) Apparently, Mary Clare has become quite the dare devil climber. This morning, Mel placed her in the playroom to play and jumped into the shower. When he was finished, he opened the door to our bedroom and found Mary Clare on my bedside table sipping juice and munching on Captain Crunch! (We have a rice bed which is quite tall, I might add.) I guess we need to move that trunk from below the foot of the bed!

Daddy’s famous! Well, his pants are anyway!

Mel had two interviews yesterday, one for an internet spot (below) and another which airs tonight on WOLO TV. WIS contacted him and wanted to do a live spot at the first USC home game tonight, but the big star declined that one!

Top 5 McCanless-isms this week (and it’s only Wednesday)

…becoming more culturally aware

1-She and I were discussing what she should wear to school the following day. It was a P.E. day and I was insisting that she wear her New Balance athletic shoes. She insisted that she wear her black sparkly Converse All-Star shoes(Chucks), which I guess, really are tennis shoes. (I later realized that her P.E. teacher wears black Chucks often.) We argued a bit, and finally, frustrated, she says to me, “Mommy, I have to wear these! My BROWN teacher told me I have to.” I stopped and thought for a moment and finally realized that she was talking about her African- American P.E. teacher, Ms. Selena.

2-I was sitting on the floor with Mary Clare and asked McCanless to join us and chat with me about school. She came dancing over, wiggling and swaying her arms and said, “I’ll go down to the ground like James Brown.” (Ms. Chure has quite a sense of humor and uses her tongue and cheek jokes with the kids often!)

3-McCanless was speaking of her new friend, Journey, quite often this week. “Mommy, Journey had a cool lunch…Mommy, Journey has a big cat….Mommy, I love Journey’s hair.” She even went so far as to tell me she wanted her hair to look just like Journey’s. Yesterday, I decided to go meet Journey and as I walked into the lunchroom during my break, I noticed McCanless speaking to a little girl that I just had a feeling might be Journey. She was a precious “brown” girl with a million tiny braids and beads covering her head. I’m not so sure I can get that many braids in McCanless’ hair, but I just may try.

…and a few other

4-I noticed a jar of rocks outside of McCanless’ classroom this week. Under the jar was a chart with handwritten names (by the students) and numbers of their guesses to how many rocks they thought were in the jar. Most students had written familiar numbers like 4, 8, 2, etc. McCanless had 299 on her guess line. Later, I asked her why she chose 299. Her response was, “Mom, clearly, there are 299 rocks. That’s as far as I can count.”

5-Today, I had just about had it with her. I was in the grocery store checking out. Mary Clare was fussy, I had a cart full of groceries and it began to storm outside. Mel called to tell me he wouldn’t be home until after 8pm, and McCanless was screaming for some jelly candy squirt gun. I told her no, she pitched a fit and I ignored her, which typically works for this type of incident. I paid and began to sulk over the daunting task of loading and unloading groceries in the pouring rain with two foul kids. McCanless said, “Fine. I’ll buy it myself.” Then she ran. She ran out of the automatic doors with her candy gun into the rain and all the way down to the Chinese restaurant to hide behind the Pepsi machine. Oh, not today. I grabbed Mary Clare who dropped her cookie and began to cry. Why today? I left my purse and groceries and ran into the rain. I found McCanless and pulled her back to the grocery store. After what probably seemed like an exorcism to onlookers with McCanless and I both refusing to give up, soaking wet I grabbed the gun from her and took it back to a very reluctant cashier who looked at me as if I were an armed robber with my candy gun. We spent the car ride home talking about stealing and disobeying mommy, to put it nicely.

(Just thought I’d also mention that the last time McCanless wanted to help pay for groceries, I handed her a bill to give to the cashier. She took it from me and began to flatten it and straighten it out. She then slid it down the debit card machine where one would typically slide a card. Guess I should also give the “Money doesn’t grow on trees and isn’t always plastic” lesson too.)

A Beautiful Day

I found this on another HLHS Mom’s blog…so sweet

It’s a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is gathering his baby angels to send to earth and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus, “I don’t want to leave. I love it here and I will miss you.” He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be fine and that this is just a visit.

The tiny angel is still not swayed on this idea so Jesus kneels down and says, “How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you. Will that be okay?” The angel smiles and says, “I guess that will work.” But the little angel is still a little scared. She asks,”Will I be okay with only half of my heart?” Jesus replies, “Of course you will. I have other angels there that will help, and will love you so much.”

Then Jesus gives the tiny angel more details about His plan. He says, “When you are born, your mommy will be scared so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart. Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday. When its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves.”

Happy Birthday, Emerson!

Mom, Kate, McCanless, Mary Clare and I recently hit the road to Augusta for Emerson’s first birthday party. (Mel was at a clothing show and, unfortunately, could not be there.) It was a beautiful party with many friends! In lieu of birthday gifts, Emerson collected monetary donations for Saving Little Hearts and Annabelle’s baskets. Annabelle’s family was there, and a new HLHS buddy, Payton and his mom joined the birthday fun as well. We all had so much fun!

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The sweet birthday girl, Emerson!

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Nothing like fun at a birthday party with swings and suckers!

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Mary Clare couldn’t keep her hands off of Payton, another HLHS heart buddy! She kept giving him lots of kisses and hugs. (He, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure about such a straight-forward girl.)

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Peek-a-boo!

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It was such a beautiful day and a wonderful celebration! We had a great time and can’t wait to celebrate many more birthdays with Emerson and her family!

…and you can be my cowgirl!

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Mel pulled out his boots this weekend for the annual Antioch Rodeo. It begins at 8pm and with Mary Clare’s new sleeping regime, I felt it was best if she and I skipped it this year! (We’re on a roll, and I don’t want to mess it up.) She was disappointed, however, to learn that the boots were not for her to wear!

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McCanless was also very disappointed, to put it nicely, to discover that her pink cowgirl boots no longer fit. But I just had to take a photo of her in her jeans and pony tails. (Finally, after her self-hairdressing episode last year.) She looks like such a big girl!

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I heard so many stories when Mel and McCanless came creeping in around midnight! They had a ball! Mel took his camera with them, so hopefully I’ll have a few rodeo picture to post soon.

St. Bartholomew’s Back-to-School Carnival…

Our church had a back-to-school cookout and carnival last Sunday and we all had lots of fun!

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Daddy and his girls! I took this just before he left for work. My girls looked so angelic and CLEAN before we left the house! McCanless knows that Mommy has the final say-so on Sundays! She has to wear the frilly socks and dreadful white “Sunday Shoes.”

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Daddy made it back to church in time for a burger and a lick from Mary Clare’s ring pop.

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After lots of games, candy, face-painting, candy and sugar, my two sticky girls and I headed home for our Sunday afternoon nap!

That’s my McCanless!

McCanless performs very often, but allows me to film very rarely! These are a few videos I’ve managed to catch!

McCanless decided to “make a video.” This was after I posted Mary Clare’s first steps. I guess she didn’t want to be upstaged by little sister! She told me exactly where to stand and how to film her for this one! I had no idea what was going to happen.

Here she is singing in the car. I pulled into the driveway, grabbed my camera and just hoped that she would continue singing. As the camera was on her, she didn’t get into her song nearly as much as when we usually drive down the road, but here is a touch of what she has in her. Of course, one of the few times she allows me to film her, my mother decided to visit us that day and walks up to the car window and McCanless stops singing as soon as she sees Nonnie!

..and lastly, McCanless’ rendition of Hannah Montana! I so tried to keep my composure during this one, but as you’ll see I couldn’t stop laughing and she became very angry with me!

Update…

Things have been so crazy around here, I’m finding I have little time to do anything! P&B is in full swing, school is now in full session and dance, gymnastics, birthday parties and life have kicked into high gear. Mel and I were able to have an adults only lunch date today so I could catch him up to speed with everything and just say hello.

Mary Clare is such a trooper and is definitely getting the hang of Ms. Susan’s. She and McCanless are so different. McCanless was never one of those children at Ms. Susan’s that would run up to the window and greet their mommy with a big hug and kiss. She loved it there and would usually pout to stay. I would always be jealous of those moms, but now I’m one! Mary Clare starts rocking and grunting and clapping as soon as she sees me. It is too funny. When I pick her up, she immediately reaches for her bag and wants her passy. She even begins to wave to the other children. I love it. I know she has a great time at Ms. Susan’s, (and I’m sure later on would rather stay like most kids do) but right now, she is a mommy’s girl and not even Ms. Susan compares to that! (Which is HUGE.) I feel so great about her being at Susan’s. She is so much more to us than just a babysitter. She loves our children and they love her, plus she’s lots of fun and feeds them all the time! Just like grandma’s!

Oh, and get this…Mary Clare sleeps most nights in her crib (alone) through the night! We put her down around 7 or 8, AND, we don’t even have to rock, sing, hold, sway, walk, etc, etc, etc, her to sleep. We place her in her crib and she rolls over and stays down until she falls asleep!! No more screaming, no more throwing things out of her crib, no more jumping up and down holding onto the crib rails!! She is such a happy and good baby girl and now sleeps like one! Life is good!

McCanless is enrolled in a tap and ballet class and an 8-weeks gymnastics class. I was worried about getting her involved in too many activities with full time school now, but Mel assured me that she needs this. (He should know.) We’ll try them out next week and go from there. She continues to love school and I love hearing her “stories” daily. She shows me cheers everyday that she learns from her teacher. (Ms. Chure was a HHS cheerleader and incorporates lots of cheering & songs into her daily activities. They are too funny) McCanless loves Ms. Chure and I’m beginning to hear more and more names of new pals…Anne-Dubose, Eliza, and Stella are a few I hear quite often. She loves being “a leader” for the class, and is dying to order lunch one day. I’ve been packing her lunch everyday. I promised her that Friday she could order Pizza Hut pizza from the lunch menu. She’s thrilled.

Which brings me to my duties…whew! I didn’t realize that once school started that my job would be that much harder. Only 174 more days until summer break! I love the teaching part of it all, but getting myself, McCanless, two book bags, one lunch and one snack bag out of the door by 7:30 is killing me, and that is just for McCanless and me. I’m hoping once our schedule becomes more routine, it will get easier. (Mel is also having a hard time because Mary Clare is an early riser. She wakes up when McCanless and I get up, which means Daddy can no longer sleep in. Although today they didn’t make it to Ms. Susan’s until after 10am, so I guess they are both still on summer time.)

After school isn’t easy either. We have dance once a week now and gymnastics once a week….and every other meeting, party, church activity, PTO, the list goes on and on… We even had a homework project due yesterday. (We…McCanless….. had to make a “mini-me” of herself.) I try to get the girls fed and in the bath before 7pm, which is much earlier than we are all used to…what a rat race, but really, it is so much fun. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Art Party

McCanless attended an art party at Black Creek Arts Center last weekend. She had a great time learning to work with clay and even saw many of her First Baptist 3K school pals. She has always been very creative and it didn’t surprise me to watch her listen and sculpt with great interest. She took her work very seriously and was a star pupil, if I do say so myself!

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Here she is with her clay pig and one of her best pals, Carter.

Lunch Dates with Daddy

On the weekends, we love to meet Daddy at McLeod’s Peach Farm for lunch and peach ice cream. Here are a few photos of the girls we took outside.

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Back-to-school tradition…

McCanless and I decided to make our back-to-school cupcakes again this year. We have always loved making cupcakes and we have even more fun now that she is much more involved. She literally does everything from cracking the eggs and mixing to decorating. (Which is why there aren’t many photos of her doing that one. I have to carefully supervise that. We have to buy extra red “fancy” icing color to make the icing red and not pink. Red icing doesn’t come off of much, including skin!)

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Mary Clare loves cupcake days!

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I think McCanless did more tasting than cooking.

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I need to frame this one. This is the look I see most often from her. This his how I’ll remember her at this age.

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One day, Mary Clare, McCanless will let you help!

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They both wanted to lick the icing bowl, but I quickly realized that that probably wasn’t a great idea!

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Apples with worms (gummy) and tootsie roll stems!

Unbelievable…

It has taken over a year for Mary Clare to learn to “sleep.” However, she found it quite easy to fall asleep last Sunday before church, the little stinker. She just crawled under my bed and took a cat nap!

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..why it is never a good idea to wake a sleeping baby!!

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I’m in for it!

Everyone swore to me that my second child wouldn’t be quite the head strong, independent, strong-willed child that McCanless is; that most certainly my second child would be much more like me, more “laid back,” “easy going.” Well, they were all wrong! I’m finding everyday that Mary Clare reminds me more and more of her big sister, even down to their little quirks.

Everyone that knows me well, knows that I probably throw out way more than I should. I “clean house” often, and I hate to keep anything! (I think Mel still owns every movie stub from dates in junior high through college, which drives me crazy.)

Here is proof that I have nothing to do with the genetics running through my girls. McCanless has always loved to pack bags…pocketbooks, duffel bags, book bags, anything with a handle, which is why she has a bin of nothing but bags in her playroom. I took these two pictures today. Mary Clare was on the floor in the playroom stuffing and plundering through the “bag bin.” I glanced into their room and found McCanless stuffing another bag of stuff. Both doing the exact same thing at the same time in different rooms!

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We all survived!!

It’s Friday, and we all made it through our first week of school! McCanless still has a long way to go as far as her morning schedule, and I’m not certain that she will EVER be anything close to a morning person, but I can proudly say that we have been on time every morning!! (Two whole days! A HUGE feat.)

Mel has been taking Mary Clare to Ms. Susan’s and he says that she loves it. He says that he barely has time to kiss her goodbye, because she grunts and rocks as soon as he walks in, eager to play with friends each day! (I’m hoping he isn’t just telling me this, and that it is actually true.) I have spoken to Ms. Susan and she says the same thing, and says that Mary Clare acts like she has known them all forever and has been to Ms. Susan’s all of her life! She even took a 2 hour nap yesterday! Susan says she eats like a horse and loves to climb on everything and is a very good girl. The first day she jumped up to the picnic table for snack, clapped her little hands and grunted (Mary Clare language for “give me that”) as if she knew exactly what to do! Ms. Susan loves her already and says she is the sweetest thing ever.

Ms. Chure, McCanless’ teacher, tells me that she calls on McCanless to help very often and that she is definitely the leader of the pack this year. (Big surprise!) I love being at THA with McCanless. I often get glimpses of her on the playground and in the hall walking to the computer lab, which is just across the hall from my room. She seems so grown-up and towers over most of the other 4K kids. Her best pal, Anne-Hackett, is in the other section of 4K, but I’ve seen them together often. She seems to be doing very well and hasn’t skipped at beat. Her teacher joked with me to today about how “long” it took her to become adjusted. (There was really no adjustment time at all for her.) Last night, she had so many stories of certain friends that were whining, or those sent to the “dog house.” She laughed and assured me that she would never be in the dog house! A lofty goal, but you have to start somewhere, right?

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A photo of her cute new nap mat. Thanks, Mimi! This was just before we left the house. After only a few melt downs. (We had to compromise on the shoes. She would NOT have the cute hot pink mary janes I just bought her, and I would not have the gold glitter shoes that are 2 sizes too small!) She was also still warming up to the whole early morning routine. She thought it was “midnight” because it was still dark when we woke up. She wasn’t quite convinced until we actually got to school that other people were awake at such an hour! (Have I ever mentioned that she is her father’s clone?)

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All smiles after school!
All day after her first day, she was chanting, “Who’s the best class at THA? 4K, 4K,4….K!!!!”

Bypassing the Wiggles!!

It’s funny to me to watch the girls interact. Of course, I’m always sensitive to McCanless as a big sister. As the oldest of four, I know exactly how difficult it can be. …all eyes on you, the one that “knows better” and the one that usually just has to give in. In regards to parenting with the oldest, everything is usually done very carefully, perfectly and expectations are set! (This I know in hindsight.) Although Mary Clare took a little more time to walk and talk, she is definitely holding her own way more than McCanless would have as a toddler, and continues to amaze us with her determination and love for life. We realized that she could walk and talk probably much sooner than she was willing to show it off. (We threw those ideas of perfect parenting out the window a long time ago…along with all of those parenting and baby books.) She seems to have grown up much faster and has that little sister spunk about her. I should know, I’ve seen it before. I have two spunky little sisters. Big sisters may reach those expectations sooner, but little sisters definitely have more fun getting there!

I came to this realization while driving in the car just recently. McCanless is into Hannah Montanna these days, and we almost always have her CD blaring in the rear. Break Out, the new Hannah CD is actually pretty decent, and even sounds a bit Nellie Furtado-ish. (She has even re-made Girls just want to have Fun) A CD I can definitely live with. It is too fun to hear your little girl sing songs that you sang as a child, and even better to sing them together. McCanless thought I was way cool when I already knew the words!

Mary Clare has begun to rock violently and shake her head and clap when she hears any sort of music, especially in the car, and especially Hannah Montanna! As I watched in the rear view mirror at my two rock stars singing and rocking out, I recollected a time when Mel and I actually sang the Wiggles in our sleep, doing chores, or riding alone in the car without McCanless. (Accidentally, of course.) She was our first and I certainly didn’t want to expose her to “foul language” or “obscenities” in any normal, non kid-friendly music. We lived a life filled with nursery rhymes and classical music that eventually led to obnoxious Raffi, Wiggles, and Barney tunes. Last year, it got better with Laurie Burkner and more modern bands that boasted songs that wouldn’t quite embarrass parents who accidentally began to sing them aloud in the grocery store.

Although Hannah sings songs of texting and hangin’ out with her friends, I can deal with that. McCanless just sings what she thinks she hears anyway, so I’m sure Mary Clare won’t become corrupt just yet. As I think about it, my baby brother probably wasn’t affected being exposed to my music growing up. His favorite song just happened to be a Red Hot Chili Peppers tune when he was in first grade. So, what’s wrong with that?

Mary Clare always wants what McCanless has, be it Princess sippy cup of milk, Barbie doll, Make-up kit, etc. Those baby toys just don’t do anything for her. In a way, it makes me sad that she is growing up so fast, trying to keep up with McCanless. But, I also get to watch her admire her big sister and strive to be just like her, music and all. I love my two beautiful girls: my free-spirited, independent, strong-willed McCanless and my loving and spunky little fighter, Mary Clare. Life can’t get any better watching these two grow.

THA, here we come!

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We have great news!! Number one, McCanless is home!! She looks and acts so grown up. Secondly, Ms. Susan called yesterday and has an opening for Mary Clare!! (Whew!) Soon, McCanless and I will be going to school together. I’ll begin teaching middle school part time again at THA and she will begin 4K at THA. Mel gets the duty of getting Mary Clare dressed, fed and to Ms. Susan’s every morning (as he did with McCanless), while I have the wonderful task of waking Princess Grouch every morning before dawn, something she has NEVER done! (This while Mel and Mary Clare get to sleep in…that’s going to be fun.) I guess we should start bedtime boot camp soon for all of us.

The girls and I visited THA yesterday. Thankfully, Mary Clare fell asleep on the way and I was able to carry her into the school office, place her on the couch (with Ms. Patti watching her) and get a bit of work done in my classroom! McCanless played the part of “teacher’s child” well by busying herself playing school, drawing on my board and re-arranging my room.

Although it has been a wonderful year staying at home with Mary Clare, I think I’m ready to get back into a school routine…well, at least half of the day! I’m also thrilled that I’ll be at school with McCanless. While I thoroughly enjoyed being at home with Mary Clare this past year, as I did with McCanless when she was a baby, there comes a time (for me and my children at least) when we all need that time away from each other, even if it’s a just a few hours! I’m hoping that Ms.Susan can help me get Mary Clare motivated to NAP! (or walk or talk) The little stinker is just not interested!

McCanless adjusted extremely well and loved Ms. Susan, and I know Mary Clare will do the same. I’m looking forward to those days of walking up to Ms. Susan’s house finding Mary Clare playing with friends and seeing those little arms stretched out to greet me. What an amazing feeling. I know that first day will be so hard (on me, anyway) but so worth it. (Who am I kidding? The entire first month I’m sure I’ll cry every day, but at least Mel is the one dropping her off…I would be a basket case!)

Gotta love “Hand-Me-Downs”

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Just for a comparison, I found this photo of McCanless in the same size 3-6 month dress. McCanless was 5 months old and Mary Clare is just now wearing it at 13 months old. Such different little people! (Although, it certainly helps with the hand-me-downs! McCanless was big for her age and Mary Clare is small, so the 6 months difference (season wise) in clothing works! It also helps that McCanless had so many clothes that she barely wore any outfit twice! (That is baby Connor Newsome beside McCanless, by the way!)

“Bored Mom” should be an oxymoron…

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Okay, so I now realize that I’m best suited to be a mother of at least two! Although there has certainly been enough going on around here, I’ve found myself “finding” things to do because I’m accustomed to total chaos! McCanless is still at Camp Mimi, and I have yet to even say hello to her in almost two weeks now. (She has never talked to anyone on the phone. EVER. She refuses to even breathe one word to her own mother. I’ll remind her of this in about 10 years when the phone will most certainly be a permanent fixture on her head, or worse, when she wants her own cell phone!)

In true Mel fashion, he mentioned to me this morning that he decided to fly out today to NY to the men’s fall clothing show. (Thanks for the warning, sweetie.) And finally, the huge tree removal, large and loud stump grinding trucks have left our yard, leaving lots of wood grindings in their wake. All is quiet around here, for once, and it’s driving me nuts!

Mary Clare and I went to the pool yesterday and I actually had time to put sun block on her BEFORE we left for the pool. I even had time to put her in these adorable flip flops!

Today, I organized the girls’ armories while Mary Clare climbed in and out of a dresser drawer on the floor. This, after she emptied every single pair of panties, socks and tights. Feeling a little sentimental, I almost cried as I folded each little burp cloth and bib and tucked it away for the attic. (Until I realized Mary Clare had single-handedly pulled the spread off of the bed knocking off several neatly folded stacks of baby clothes, just before pulling the bow holder off of the wall sending bows flying.) My sentiments were short lived and so was my temper!

As a result, I also made a new bow holder. I counted her 80 bows, then organized them by size and color. 80 bows! Can you believe it? I can’t believe I counted them. I can’t believe I had time to count them. Mary Clare and I also went back-to-school supply shopping for McCanless, visited my mom at work, TWICE, and even visited cousin Reese at BB’s house. I washed all of our bed linens and even polished my silver candelabras. Most of this while holding Mary Clare. Okay, so I didn’t get finished with the candelabras. One armed polishing is tough.

McCanless is finally coming home tomorrow, Mel home on Monday, and “normal” life will resume. I know I’ll once again be wishing my life was a little less hectic, a little more organized and somewhat time managed, but right now in this quiet moment as I sit in my quiet, organized, boring house, I’m thankful for my usual chaos. I actually miss it. I know soon Mary Clare will be exactly like her Daddy and big sister. (I already see it coming.) Most of those who know me best, know that Mel and I are opposites. My children and I are opposites. Who would have thought? The loves of my life drive me crazy, and I can’t function without them!

A virus, tree removals, and a funeral director’s convention…

There is so much going on around here, I can barely keep up with myself! Mel, Mary Clare and I just got back into town from Charleston. McCanless is still having a ball at “Camp Mimi” in Hilton Head. So much so, that I’m a bit worried that she’ll not be home before the beginning of school. I guess that’s what I get for allowing her to call the shots on when she wants to come home. Oh well, I guess I’ll worry with that when all is clear around here or in August, which ever comes first.

Mary Clare had a virus this weekend, and I wasn’t satisfied with my pediatrician’s diagnosis of simple virus, congestion…treated with 3 days of antibiotic “just in case”. So as luck would have it, Mel had a funeral director’s convention in Charleston this week, so we packed up and headed down. Two birds with one stone…we made it to clinic to see our favorite cardiologist on Monday morning and the convention for a few days of fun in Charleston!

Mary Clare’s feet have been turning blue more and more lately and her stats were running low so I wanted to get Dr. Forbus to check her out. She did have a virus and hopefully that is the reason her stats were lower, and as far as the blueness more often, we’ll have to monitor that. We return to MUSC in two weeks for a sedated echo and a more thorough “numbers” check, and will know more then. Dr. Forbus said that he wasn’t as concerned about the blueness in her extremities just yet. We’ll see. It just feels better to hear that she is okay from him. So for now, we’ll just be happy that she is feeling better!

She certainly had a great time at Charleston Place and at the funeral director’s convention! While Mel was attending classes, we were able to enjoy Charleston for once, not just run in and out of MUSC. We were able to visit with Annabelle’s mom, Rebecca while she delivered baskets to PC-ICU on Tuesday! Always so great to see her! We also found a new favorite children’s shop, Jackson and Madeline on King Street!!! We shoe shopped and bow shopped and ate ice cream and had more Mary Clare/Mommy time. When Daddy was available, we ate and shopped more! Mary Clare was even the belle of the ball last night at the Farewell Party! She danced all night with Mr. Posey from Posey Funeral Home in North Augusta, and chatted away with everyone until I finally decided that the band was probably not helping lull her to sleep as I thought. She’s already a lot like McCanless and her daddy. If the party is going on, they will be the last one standing!

Oh, and about those tree removals…today there are several huge trucks in the yard because we are having 6 HUGE trees removed! What a full week, and it’s only…. Wednesday, I think!!

Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me, Bets! I also turned “30ish” on Monday!

Life on the creek is good…

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Mary Clare time…

McCanless is in Hilton Head with her Mimi and BaPa, so I’ve had a great time with Mary Clare this week. We’ve gotten lots of much needed baby-mommy time and I’ve also had a few moments to catch up on the blog, and write long overdue birthday thank-you notes!!

I tried to capture Mary Clare on my video camera doing all of the new “tricks” she does now. Of course, when I have my camera out, not much happens, however the little stinker did exactly as I asked her when she was watching herself on camera and listening to my voice!! She was watching herself and clapping, blowing kisses and even said, “bye-bye” when I turned my camera off! Uggh, they never show off when you want them to, but boy do they “show out” when you don’t want them to!!

Two other “new’s” that I have yet to catch on film…teeth and standing! There is no way possible to get her to show off her front bottom teeth, and they don’t show when she smiles, so you’ll just have to take my word for it! She really does have those two bottom teeth fully grown! I promise!

It is as equally as impossible to get her to show off her fangs, but I managed to get Mel to tickle her last night as I tried to photo them. This was as good as it got!

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Here she is standing…yes, I know, the bed probably isn’t the best place to practice walking, but she loved it!

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4th of July Week with the Woodhams!

Not only did we celebrate Mary Clare’s birthday yet again, we made it to the beach almost everyday, shopped a bit, made it to Hard Rock Park and Garden City Pavilion for arcade games and rides, celebrated the 4th with a family cookout (plus Nicole, Alston’s girlfriend and McCanless new best friend) and ended the week with fireworks on the beach the night of the 4th! What a fun week with our crazy Woodham family!!

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Mary Clare’s first bikini…

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Garden City Pavilion…

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Hard Rock Park…

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4th of July!!!

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Mary Clare…one year old!

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A few things about Miss Priss,…My little cotton top, hazel-eyed, 19 lb. one year old baby girl!

She has never slept through the night! Not even once! She still sleeps best on Mommy’s chest.

She has three teeth. She has her two front bottom teeth and one fang, with the other fang about to pop out any day now. I swear she is a vampire…

She isn’t walking yet, but can stand on her own. She’ll also squat, stand, squat, stand, etc., but no steps yet. She has taken one or two toward me, but is a bit wobbly.

She loves sweets! She’ll also eat anything I give her, but LOVES sweets!

She still points and nods/bobs her head when she sees something she wants, but now will also add, “MOM-MOM,” which we think is her version of “MINE” or “I NEED THAT.” She also screams, “MA- MA,” when she cries. I’ve also heard, “MOMMY” a few times. One of her very first baby babbles a few months ago was Da-Da, but she doesn’t say it at all anymore, which kills Mel. He’ll grab her every afternoon now and point to himself and repeat, “Da-Da” a thousand times. Obviously, there is a definite trend with her words, “Ma Ma” seems to get her exactly what she wants, when she wants it.

She is very vocal, and babbles to McCanless all day long. She sometimes yells at her, which is funny. McCanless annoys her at times (many times) and it’s so fun to watch them interact. They laugh at each other one minute and the next they are both yelling at each other.

Mary Clare is a feisty little thing, and so impatient. She will let you know exactly when something is not suiting her. She’ll arch her little back and throw her head back in a fit.

She has also learned that if she throws something on the floor enough times, people will eventually laugh after they have picked it up 12 times. She is a little joker.

She continues to be such a happy girl and smiles at everyone. She really is a good baby, if you don’t count the sleeping through the night part!

Mel calls her Clary, McCanless calls her MC.

She still loves to plunder and get into EVERYTHING!! I don’t know what I’m going to do with her! When I give her a bag, shoe, lunch box, etc, she’ll throw it over her shoulder like a purse! When I give her a strand of beads, she knows exactly what to do with those too…over her head they go! Too funny.

We love our little one year old mess!

2008 Fall Photo Shoot for Pennington & Bailes!!

Whew! What a night! Mel has been trying to get a photo shoot together for a while, but of course in Mel fashion, he decided to spring this on me just yesterday! Steve Roos (Plug for Steve… www.steveroos.com We also happen to be on his portfolio page!), our wonderful and FAVORITE photographer “found” a gap in his busy schedule, so we rounded up the new P&B fall kids samples and a few of our friend’s kids and hosted a fabulous photo shoot! I can’t wait to see the real photos from Steve!

These are just a few Mel shot…

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Nope, we’re not big LSU fans, McCanless is just into purple these days!

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Steve’s the MAN!

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We held the shoot in our front yard, and this is the view of our house from our dock…
Mel will probably have the photos up on the P&B site soon…www.stadiumpants.com

Can a girl have too much birthday cake?

We continued the birthday celebration while at the beach last week…

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These are the tie-dyed shirts that the girls made at Prestwood Pool last week!

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“P” is for party…

In our family, birthdays are a week long event….a party, your actual birth “DAY” party, and of course a few days of cake, cake, and more cake…

Today, we packed up lunch, a birthday cake of course, and loaded up the cart for an afternoon birthday party at the pool! It just so happened to be tie-dye day, too! Mary Clare was able to tie dye a onesie. Cake AND crafts…too much fun!

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Good thing we had two cakes…one for Mary Clare and one for everyone else!

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Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

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It is so hard to believe that only a year ago, our sweet Mary Clare was born. I wish so badly that I had a joyous, and exciting birth story to tell her as I do McCanless on her birthday every year, but truth be known, Mary Clare’s birth was one of the most difficult times of my life. Tonight I pulled out the baby blanket that was covering her the afternoon I first walked up to PC-ICU to visit her and so many wonderful, sad, happy, terrifying moments came flooding back to me.

After a quick and easy labor and delivery, Mary Clare arrived around 11 am. I briefly got a glimpse of her, noting how beautiful she was and how she looked like my granddaddy, Daddy Bob. She was then rushed off behind closed doors. Mel was allowed to see her after they got in all of her lines, and then she was brought to me a couple of hours after birth. These first moments of her were between the glass of an incubator and were very brief. Later that afternoon, I walked up alone to PC-ICU to visit her. She was in bed 1 covered by a tiny crocheted blanket and had a pink bow in her hair. With so many wires and tubes peeking out from beneath her blanket, she was peacefully sleeping and I leaned over her and promised that I would do everything I could to keep her safe. I so badly wanted to hold her, to try to nurse her, to sleep beside her bed as any new mom would be doing. I vowed to stay there all night to welcome my baby girl into this world, and despite the bright lights, IV’s, and loud buzzes, I would be there to rub her little hand and talk to her and comfort her as best I could. But only after only a few moments, she turned blue. Buzzers went off, nurses rushed over and I was told to leave immediately. I wouldn’t see my baby girl awake again for 7 days. She had to be sedated, paralyzed and intubated until her surgery.

The next month would turn into an experience that would forever change me as a person. I am a better mom today because of Mary Clare. I am a better person because of Mary Clare. God has given me a precious angel to care for and for that I am so very grateful. I am thankful for everything that we have been through as a family and I am so proud of everything that she is.

Mary Clare’s First Birthday Party…

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Emerson, Mary Clare’s best heart friend, and her family drove a very long way to help us celebrate! We were so happy to see them!! Emerson and Mary Clare had a great time together! We can’t wait to help Emerson celebrate her first birthday in August!

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Party!

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Coozies that Daddy made for Mary Clare’s party…

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Annabelle basket gifts…This was the table before our friends arrived. This was all from our family!

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Party treats…suckers and bubbles!

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Mary Clare, McCanless and I love to feed the ducks on Prestwood, so I thought it would be fun to save bread to have at Mary Clare’s party so that each guest could do what we love to do….Problem was, the ducks that are normally surrounding the playground were no where to be found!

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Mimi and McCanless with sidewalk chalk!

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Erica, Emerson, Mary Clare and me

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Annabelle’s mom, Rebecca with Mary Clare and me…

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Summer Camp…here we come!

McCanless has been begging me to take her to school lately. Not that she is so inclined in the academics as a mother might wish, she simply wants to see friends. We have been going to the pool daily but unfortunately for her, I’m still around. I think she wants a bit of time away from Mommy dearest, and honestly a bit of non-McCanless time does a mommy good too!

Hartsville High Cheer Camp!!

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I was impressed with everything that she learned to do at HHS Cheer Camp. I was as equally impressed that she stood up with her small group of 4-year-olds and cheered in front of a huge bleacher full of parents. (Secretly, I’m thrilled!! I so want her to take after her mommy and be a cheerleader. Shhhh!)

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First Baptist Bible School…Outrigger Island!!

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This week we all are attending our own church, St. Bartholomew’s, Bible school. I “volunteered” to be an assistant teacher, McCanless has her own crew and Mary Clare is enjoying a one’s and two’s age group class, which is too cute!

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..up next, gymnastics camp, and another round of swim lessons (Prestwood Pool this time)!

What a fantastic day!!

We had a most wonderful 1st birthday party for Mary Clare and I’ll post photos as soon as I get a few from family!! I was so caught up in the day, I completely forgot to take the first one! (I do remember lots of flashes, so hopefully the entire event is well documented!) This photo was taken this morning as Mary Clare and I finished unpacking the car from the party…

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It was a very special day and we were honored to have Annabelle’s family and Emerson and her family with us to help celebrate! For now, Annabelle’s mom has posted a few photos at www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

Also a few more photos at Sara Preston’s website. Sara Preston is another sweet and very cute friend of Mary Clare’s. We were thrilled to have so many wonderful and very generous friends at the party! Thanks to you all! We were able to contribute a ton of baby items and over $1,000 in monetary donations for Annabelle’s baskets! (So far… they are still coming!) It is truly amazing!

Don’t forget…

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Consider yourself invited!!
If you are unable to read my “fantastic” scan/crop/shrink job the info follows:

Sunday, June 22, 2008
Prestwood Playground
3:00-4:30
In lieu of gifts, please bring an item or monetary donation for an Annabelle Basket.

One fish, two fish…

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It’s so funny to watch Mary Clare in the baby pool. She walks around in her baby float going exactly where she pleases. (I get a nice break, too, especially since McCanless is pretty self sufficient in the big pool this year.)

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My sweet McCanless…

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Capri-Sun junkie…

Plunder Bug

This is where I found Mary Clare this morning as I fixed her breakfast. (In Emmie’s bed with her loot surrounding her…a shoe, a passy, and a dog chew toy.) She is such a little explorer and loves to plunder. She loves to pull anything and everything out of a drawer, bag, purse, etc.

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I knew the time was coming when Mary Clare wouldn’t be quite so content just sitting stationary in a pile of passies, books and toys. Well, the time is now and I’m worn out! As a toddler, McCanless never once opened one of my kitchen cabinets, and I’m not sure that she even has to this day, now that I mention it. She was just never interested. She never plundered through drawers, or pulled books off of shelves. I guess I never really had to baby proof the house. Until now!

This morning all within about 15 minutes, Mary Clare had managed to pull a stack of pots out of a kitchen cabinet, dumped Emmie’s dog food all over the floor (and tasted a few kibbles), crawled into the bedroom under my bed, pulled some sort of material/stuffing out of the bottom of my mattress, and then found her way into my bathroom and decided to play pool in the toilet! No she didn’t jump in, she just splashed around in it, which may be worse! After each incident, I would take her to the playroom and show her a new toy and try to get her interested…

I don’t get it. A room full of “educational” and attention grabbing toys, and she would rather bulldoze her way through every other room in the house.

Other than plans to buy those stupid, big, ball door knob covers, putting latches on the cabinets, and installing toilet lid locks, I’m having so much fun with both of my girls. Every day bring a new challenge and so many new laughs. Mary Clare is almost walking now and recognizes so many words, but only says a few…or what sounds like a few words. She definitely says, “Mommy” when she cries, and is still quite a Mommy’s girl. She continues to nod and rock when she sees something she wants and is becoming very good at communicating without saying a word. She’ll take her tiny finger and point and rock until you get her what she wants, then flash a huge smile. If you make a mistake, she’ll throw her head back and arch her back and begin to wail. Quite the impatient one, we have.

When she is good, she is very, very good. When she is bad….you get the point! Sounds somewhat like her big sister!! Yikes!

Hitchin’ a Ride…

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Poor Peyton, that’s a load!

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We love our neighborhood! McCanless loves to scoot down the street to visit Peyton and Anne-Hackett. They are just a couple of houses and a “holler” down the street. We have been walking down to visit them since McCanless and Anne-Hackett were only a few weeks old!

Beach Babies, Beach Babies…

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Down at Pawley’s with Pop, Blake and Dara!

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Hard Rock Park

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Summer has officially begun!

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We’ve been out of town lots lately, but when we are home, this is usually “how we roll.” (In fact, last week I carried our golf cart down to the beach on a trailer behind my Tahoe!) Now that summer is officially here, we load up the cart and head to Prestwood Pool pretty regularly and we all love our nightly cruises with Daddy!

Pass the porkchops!

I have always told Mel that beach air is good for you. Not just for a tan…It always seems to help me feel so much better and works wonders for various ailments. (Okay, so maybe a tan helps with that too). Apparently, that salt air also aids in the development of TEETH! One week at the beach and BAM, Mary Clare has grown her first two pearlies! Two on the bottom are peeking their way through. Her Grandma B, my stepmother, noticed them first. (Mom loved that.)

I also think she is going to walk any day now. She has begun to cart around with McCanless’ baby stroller and loves to follow me. She will see me and cry until she reaches me and laughs, until I walk away, then cries until she gets back to me and laughs, etc… I figure as long as I’m in front of her, she’ll get the hang of it sometime. Otherwise, she is still an extra appendage on me.

We had a wonderful weekend with Daddy last weekend at Surfside Beach, and when he left Sunday, the girl’s team decided to stay on for the week. Pop, Grandma B, Blake and Dara were also down at the beach for the week, so we were able to spend lots of time with them and had lots of fun at Pawley’s Island, Hard Rock Park and the water park. Mary Clare’s hair is even more blonde and she has a little brown baby tan. McCanless, poor thing, has more freckles, a sunburn and a jellyfish sting, but has finally stopped complaining about her peeling ears!!

I have lots of great photos to post as soon as I de-Mel the house.

Mary Clare’s First Birthday Invitation

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Consider yourself invited!!
If you are unable to read my “fantastic” scan/crop/shrink job the info follows:

Sunday, June 22, 2008
Prestwood Playground
3:00-4:30
In lieu of gifts, please bring an item or monetary donation for an Annabelle Basket.

Mary Clare’s first visit to Chuck E. Cheese!

Well, really the first time she went and has been able to participate. She couldn’t quite figure out how to drive Chuck’s car, but she tried!

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Big sister decided to step in and give her a hand…even if it meant sitting on Chuck’s lap.

Mary Clare’s Blood Drive

I’m thrilled to say that the blood drive was a HUGE success! Several of the Red Cross volunteers mentioned that this was the biggest crowd they’ve seen in many years!! We are so happy to have been a small part of it all! I wish I could have taken and posted photos of every single person that donated blood, but we were in and out all day between lunch, naps and swimming lessons. Thanks to everyone who came to the drive and donated and even those who tried and couldn’t!!

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Thanks Lee and Nonnie… two of the first up!

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Feeling okay, Kacy?

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Thanks, Will! Will’s Dad came to donate later in the day. (Although, Darrell didn’t quite look as nervous.)

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Come on, “Bubba!” It isn’t that bad!

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PaPa and Daddy donated for the first time ever! (I wish I had a photo of Mel donating because it will probably be the last time! I had to do lots of convincing!!)

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Aunt Liz and Robert even came all the way from Columbia!

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My Dancing Queen 2008

2007

Hard to believe it has been almost a year!!

These photos were taken at MUSC on July 14th of 2007,
which was the day McCanless was able to “hold” her baby sister for the first time.

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Both of my baby girls have grown and changed so much in just one short year!

Memorial Day Weekend 2008-Daufuskie Island

We spent Memorial Day Weekend on Daufuskie Island with Mimi and Bapa and the Haarlow clan again this year. We always have so much fun! McCanless and her cousin Molly are so cute together and just “picked up where they left off” on their last visit. Instant best friends again!

How to keep two kids quiet in a 3 1/2 hour car ride…. SUCKERS!!

Read more

McCanless’ Dance Recital 2008

McCanless took a tap and ballet class this year at Ms. Brenda’s, so she was in TWO dances at the recital! She loved her costume, but wasn’t crazy about the “bird feathers” that she had to wear in her hair. The day of the recital, she was so excited and couldn’t wait to perform. She did great on stage. (As compared to last year when she loudly sang the lyrics to “Rockin’ Robin, but didn’t move her feet a bit.) She loves to dance and loved being on stage, not a huge surprise to me!

This is the ballet costume..a quick removal of the tutu, add tap shoes and Ta-Da, a tap costume!

Even Mary Clare made it all the way through the entire recital! She loved the music and even watched many of the performances.

Thanks for the beautiful flowers Aunt Liz and Nonnie!

…and how do we celebrate anything in our family? Dinner at the Mexican Restaurant!

McCanless loved watching herself on my video camera! She was so proud!!

YMCA Swimming Lessons 2008

McCanless has been taking swimming lessons at the YMCA for a couple of weeks. She was swimming on her own last summer, but looked more like a “drowing drunk” (as Mel would say) with flailing arms and legs. More like power dog paddling, I guess. This year, her strokes seem more defined, and almost on purpose! She is doing so well and announced on Monday that she, “sunk under deep in the deep water.” I’m guessing she held her breath and went under water in the deep end. She loves her class and looks forward to it twice a week.
I can’t wait to begin to taking her to Prestwood Pool so she can show off her new swimming skills! I’m so proud of her!

This is Jacob, one of her instructors and a great swimmer!
Mommy taught Jacob in 6th, 7th and 8th grade. He is now a senior at Mayo High School.

“YAAAAY, big sister!” Mary Clare has had fun watching her big sister swim!

Heart Moms

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with and have lunch with a few of my “heart mom” friends. Erica, Emerson’s mom, planned it all and it is actually the first time she and I have met face to face outside of MUSC! (which was wonderful) We had a great time catching up and talking about our baby girls!

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Shirley (Kierra’s mom), Erica (Emerson’s mom), Rebecca (Annabelle’s mom) and me

The joys…

I’ve often mentioned here on the blog that I wonder what in the world we did before having children. I imagine we slept through the night in our own bed, never stepped barefoot on a passy, Barbie shoe, used gum, juice box, etc., never been “pottied” on in the bed, tub or swimming pool.

We had quiet dinners out with no drinks spilled, tantrums over ketchup touching something, or the need to leave quickly because of one or more of the following: vomit, no diapers, no milk, ruined outfits, “fits” or sleeping child. We didn’t have to juggle our life with swimming lessons, dance classes, grandparents, birthday parties, cardiology apts, playgroups, well-checks at doctors offices that take 3 hours. It probably only took me about 30 minutes to get out of the house, now that I mention it. We even had time to devote to our two dogs. I think they are still alive.

I was thinking about all of this last night as we ate dinner at the local Mexican restaurant in town. We met Mel there after swimming lessons that I thought I was late for but proudly sent McCanless in at just 5 after 5 on the dot! I made it…almost on time! Until I realized that she was the only one not in a swim diaper! Wrong class. UGGH! So, we waited until 5:30, when her real class actually began. Mary Clare was soaked after crawling around on the side of the pool for half an hour, but we decided to go eat anyway. First Mistake.

After McCanless decided to be a big girl and not use the top to her drink, she spilled it all over Mary Clare which led to a massive scream and bawling for quite some time…both girls. As Mel cleaned the mess, and I grabbed Mary Clare to comfort her, she pulled my drink all over me and her. Again, scream and bawl. McCanless then decided to stand on Mary Clare’s high chair and sing at the top of her lungs, “Gonna tell you….what you can do to my love, My LOVE…Alllllllll night.” What? How does she know that song!

…and we hadn’t even ordered yet! Mel and I just looked at each other and laughed. What else can you do? We managed to order, eat quickly and get home just in time for a bath, in which Mary Clare went poo. Can it get any better than this?

Mother’s Day Weekend at the Beach!!

Mom, Kacy, Alston, Mel, the girls and I headed down to the beach for Mother’s Day this year! (Sorry, Kate, we missed you!) McCanless and Mary Clare loved being at the ocean! Mary Clare even wore herself out and took a nap!! McCanless made lots of new friends, flew a kite on her own and “grew” a few more freckles.

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It was hard to catch many photos of McCanless. She was too busy making friends and splashing in the waves with her Aunt Kacy!

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I was impressed with McCanless’ kite flying ability. Of course she wanted NO help, but she got it to fly up immediately, and kept it up, and figured it out all on her own! She knew exactly what to do when it dipped down to the ground.

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A rare moment.

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Mary Clare in her own little ocean…

I know this is sideways, I turned my camera to get this angle, but forgot that I couldn’t rotate it for the web!
Sorry!

Below is my crazy McCanless jumping in the waves…

Playdate at Lawton Park

With the end of the school year drawing near, McCanless has wanted to spend as much time with her school pals as possible. Here are a few with us at Lawton Park last week…

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Blood Drive in Honor of Mary Clare’s Birthday

On Monday, June 2nd, a blood drive will be held in honor of Mary Clare’s birthday! The drive will be held at First Baptist Church in Hartsville from 12-5! We are so excited and thrilled to be able to do this. Hopefully, we’ll bring out a huge crowd and bring in a great supply!

Call/email me if you have any questions or want to schedule a specific time, otherwise just show up with your arm ready!! (I’m still trying to convince Mel that as Mary Clare’s father, he HAS to give!!)

We Miss You, Kate!

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My baby sister, Kate, is in Finland this summer student teaching and working on a few college credits. I think McCanless and Kate are having withdrawals from being away from each other. Although Kate lives in Columbia, she is go great about coming home to keep the girls for me and she and McCanless are “best friends.” McCanless loves her aunt Kate so much and is missing her terribly! McCanless told me this weekend that she ready for Kate to come home so they can hang out, listen to Britney Spears together and go get a pedicure.

Don’t worry, Kate, I’ll post lots of pictures tonight!! We love you!

The Cookie Monster

Guess who discovered Oreos this week? Guess where she was? (Nonnie’s house, of course.)

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Happy 24th, little sis!

Kacy’s birthday was on May 2 and we celebrated the usual way of gathering out at Nonnie’s on a Sunday afternoon for hot dogs and cake! Kacy lives in Columbia and is just finishing up her first year of teaching 1st grade after finishing grad school at USC. We love you, Kace!

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McCanless decided Kacy needed a bit of dressing up for her birthday. She used left over wrapping paper and made a beautiful dress and veil. (Too bad Kacy isn’t getting married any time soon.)

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My black-eyed pea is getting her stitches out soon! If you could have only seen her Sunday after church…she was in a beautiful little church dress, white summer tights, little white Sunday shoes, and looking like a cherub, except that she had a black eye, was up in a tree right outside of the church doors, a rip in her now black tights, had scuffed her shoes and almost ruined her dress while climbing up the tree. She was twisted around branches, her body upside down with her tangled hair hanging and was singing to everyone. I think a princess song. Go figure.

My bathing beauties at 10 months old…

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McCanless waiting to splish splash in the tub…

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Mary Clare waiting to jump in the tub with big sister…

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Mary Clare loves to bathe with McCanless but it’s more like swimming in a pool for her! Our tub is so deep, we have a tough time holding her, so it doesn’t happen too often. If you were wondering, the green water is from the “Color Dotz” (tub dye for children)..my children aren’t that dirty!

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Good news, bad news…

Good news: Mary Clare slept through the night last night. Bad news: McCanless didn’t. We had already been playing musical beds last night, so when I heard an extremely loud thud on the floor of my bedroom, I was confused as to who actually fell, Mel?, McCanless?, myself? (I’m so sleep deprived lately, I wouldn’t be surprised to find my self falling out of bed) After I jumped up out of bed and scooped McCanless up, I tucked her back under the covers, and checked on the rest of the household. It was 1am and Mary Clare had not woken up yet!! Mel was in McCanless’ bed, Mary Clare on top of him. Oh well, what ever works, right!? I went back into my bedroom to find McCanless’ face covered in blood. I grabbed my shoes and we headed straight for the ER, barely giving Mel time to even realize what had happened.

Sex and the City, Scrubs, and Sinfield later we were called back. (Also after 30 minutes of trying to convince McCanless that Carrie and her friends were MARRIED, because when girls kiss boys, they are married, right?) A gentleman to the right of us found it comical that I would even attempt to explain anything after I spent half of the show covering her eyes. I was glad to be rid of his smirks and giggles. I had no patience this night.

THEN, it took me 45 minutes to calm her down after the nurse said, “Looks like she’ll need stitches.” I didn’t even think McCanless knew what stitches were! (Apparently, her cut was too deep for the glue) Forgot to mention that I think she cut her eyelid on her silver heart charm necklace during the fall.

Finally, McCanless was okay, breathing normally, and stopped trying to sneak out of the ER, until they wrapped her up in a sheet like a huge albino burrito, and covered her face with another tiny sheet with only a hole opening over the “wound.” She kept yelling, “get me out of here!” and “I’m HOT!” I think she suffers from a bit of claustrophobia like her mother.

After a very long procedure, which was only long because McCanless found it necessary to ask the Doc to stop and pause every so often, we headed home. At 4:30 AM, I tucked McCanless back into my bed. She rolled over and said she couldn’t wait to show her friends her Daffy Duck band-aid and 5 stitches.

These were taken this morning around 4:30 am…

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Here she is today, a bit more swollen and bruised…

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So THAT is where she got those cheeks!!

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Yes, that is me (Kerri), fat cheeks and all!

Yum, Yum…Mary Clare feeding herself

Okay, I know at this rate she will be three before getting full!! But in her defense, when I took this video, I had already given her a good bit of mashed sweet potatoes and carrots!! I gave her this “toddler” spinach and cheese ravioli (that she usually LOVES) in hopes that she would show off for the camera! She usually shoves food in one bite after another without much time to breathe.

…and this is what she does when she has had enough, or when big sister walks in to distract her….smashed ravioli anyone?

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Mega Playgroup!

It isn’t often that my high school girlfriends and I can get together, and while we weren’t all there, this was the most we’ve ever had at a playgroup! Lauren even made it all the way from Texas!! While it’s nice to see the babies grow, we decided the next playgroup will be for big-big girls only!

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Connor and Tripp

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Sweet Carlysle

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“Aunt” Mimi and Cambell

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Parker

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Preggo Ashleigh with Lauren’s baby girl, Grant

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Mary Clare

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Miss Priss, who wasn’t exactly thrilled about being the only big girl there. She just couldn’t get into those boy toys!

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David

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Lee with Parker and Cambell, Jill without her two children who didn’t want to come;), Julie and Tripp, “Aunt” Mimi, Ashleigh with Connor and baby girl on the way, Leslie with Carlysle, Me with Mary Clare and McCanless- who knows where, Lauren with David and Grant

Wow, lots of babies and mommies!!

Signs of the Times…

I had to jot this down this morning before I forgot it!

As I drove McCanless to school this morning, which is an entire 2 minute drive, she mentioned that she was worried about a friend of hers, Nicholas. I asked her why she was so concerned, and she replied, “He has an IPod check-up and I hope it gets better soon.”

We were pulling up to school and it took me a minute to realize what she was saying, but then, just before jumping out of the car she smiled, gave a quick roll of her eyes, corrected herself and said, “No. Whoops. Sorry Mom, Mrs. Martrano says that it isn’t his IPod that is sick, it is his eye.”

Update on Mary Clare…

Mel and I took Mary Clare back to MUSC today for a clinic visit. (McCanless opted out this time. Apparently, school is far more fun than skipping for Charleston at this point. We’ll see how long that lasts.) We had a long visit complete with echocardiogram, EKG and all. She was 28 inches long, weighs 17 lbs 7 oz, and is doing fine, (I guess.)

I was a bit more confused after this visit than most. I’ve learned not to ask too many questions for my own sanity (as long as she is well.) But today I broke my own rule, and have only worried myself and have no clue as to why I’m really that worried. Between calming a very irritable and squirmy baby girl, getting Mel to focus (He has a tendency to turn into a serious hypochondriac when amongst doctors-He was insistent on explaining his latest episode of Cellulitis to Dr. Forbes.) and trying to decipher cardio-talk…

I heard, “a bit swollen” in regards to her heart, but apparently that is “normal for her heart” that is working so hard and has a completely different physical make up now.

I heard “her red blood cell count could be high.” Which could be why she has those adorable bright red lips, pink cheeks and turns incredibly purple when she cries. (more so than typical HLHS babies) Which will be checked in three months with blood work and more extensive tests, and could lead to another heart catheterization, blood transfusion, etc…

I heard “her heart function looks like it did last visit” which left me wondering if I missed something last time! Her heart function isn’t spectacular, but for her it is working. All of her numbers (oxygen, blood pressure) look okay, so her heart function again is “normal for her.”

Her Enalipril (blood pressure) medicine was upped to 2 ml’s twice a day, simply because of her weight gain.

And for the record, baby girl is getting feisty! Now that she knows what EKG’s and echo’s are all about, she wants no part in them. Merely two months ago, she would lay quietly and coo at the echo techs or assistants helping with EKG’s. Those days are long gone! She screamed, cried huge crocodile tears, blew bubbles, arched, crunched and fought her way the ENTIRE time! Whew, what a work out for mommy. As soon as they were over, and I was holding her she would throw out her biggest and brightest smile. Little stinker.

We also saw Dr. Bradley, Dr. Atz and a few of our other favorite docs and nurses. I had the chance to ask them if they felt that there was a correlation between heart babies and sleeping issues. Every doc said none, whatsoever. When I asked a nurse, she simply said, “I’ve never known a heart baby to sleep well.” I’m going with the nurses opinion, although I guess there is nothing I can do about that. Oh well, maybe I’ll take up naps when she starts school…

We were sent home with another clinic visit in 3 months, so I guess all is well. I have a tendency to just over think everything, which is exactly what I have had to learn NOT to do since the day we learned of our sweet Mary Clare’s heart defect. She is great. We had a great day. I’m so very blessed that I was able to spend it in Charleston with our smiling baby girl.

McLeod Farms Field Trip

Yesterday, McCanless’ class took a field trip to McLeod Farms to pick strawberries! (Or Straw-ebbies, as she called them forever ago.) We met in the morning, so it was a bit chilly, and McCanless insisted on wearing her sister’s “Baby Legs” on her arms as “arm warmers” with her strawberry t-shirt, of course. It turned out to be a beautifully sunny and very warm day!

We had lots of fun, gathered lots of strawberries and even made Nonnie’s famous homemade strawberry cake when we returned home! Mary Clare had so much fun she didn’t nap all day! She was too excited after the big morning, then I think she had a bit too much strawberry cake batter and icing!! (I know, I know, strawberries AND cake batter before she is a year-If you are a pediatrician just ignore this paragraph, but, for the record, she’s FINE! Not that cake batter is ever really okay, but come on, we all eat it, right?)

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She was up and ready to go, so excited about the field trip! Not a grouchy morning moment at all! (I wish all mornings were this pleasant!)

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My Skating Princess…and Prince

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I decided to meet Mel and McCanless at the skating rink last night to see how well my little skater is progressing. Or skaters, I should say! I think Daddy is getting pretty good, too! Mel bought McCanless skates a few months ago and I have yet to see her in action in her new big girl skates. (Complete with pom poms and all.) I’m sure she would have settled for cheapos from Target but you know Mel, he had to order the REAL deal from the skating rink. I think she could skate professionally with these.

I was able to capture a few videos when she decided to take a few minutes to come talk to her mother. She was far too busy with her little friends to come chat with Mommy and baby sister.

I wish I had Mel on video. He has been working on his “backward skating.” I think he loves going to socialize and show off just as much as McCanless!

Here she is on the carpet section doing rather well. She zooms much quicker has much more confidence on the carpet.
(I guess I would too!)

I know it looks like she is going in the WRONG direction, but I realized that she likes skating to the middle section!

I was pretty impressed with my little princess. (Daddy-not so much) Her skates are just like big girl skates and are not tightened, like they sometimes do for little ones. She has so much fun and loves her weekly dates with Daddy!

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Sharing fries with Carter, a skating pal. (Carter is also in her 3K class at First Baptist)

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A 31-year-old with HLHS!!

Here’s a video clip of a young man, Bryan Rothlein of Safety Harbor, Florida, who was born 31 years ago with HLHS who is a successful veterinarian today! This is the oldest HLHS survivor I’ve heard of so far!

Scroll to 19:42 to watch the HLHS portion. (copy and paste the link)

http://www.wedu.org/Content/VideoPop/SH_March_2008.aspx

Splish, Splash, she loves takin’ a bath!!

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The latest on Miss Mary Clare…

As you can see above, she loves to splash around in the bath! She is getting so busy and is always on the move. She is crawling around everywhere, and loves to plunder! She isn’t a fast crawler (she would still rather be standing) but she now does a funny, “crooked crawl.” She uses her hands and arms and one leg/knee correctly, but she uses her right foot instead of her knee. A half walk/crawl!! She smiles and laughs at everyone who looks her way and is so happy! She is so sweet and a perfect angel!

At her well check-up last week, she was 28″ long and 17 lbs. She refuses any and all baby food now, but will eat any type of “big girl” food I give her except bananas! Today, she even ate rutabagas! Still NO TEETH!

We call her our little insomniac baby because she does not sleep…at night nor during the day! I’m lucky if she takes 1-2 cat naps during the day, and has a five hour stretch during the night. I’m still not quite willing to let her “cry it out,” so for now I’ve become quite accustomed to sleep deprivation.

Her most favorite person in the world is McCanless. Her face lights up when she sees her. She still has those wonderful chubby baby cheeks that everyone wants to squeeze! She is so much fun and we love her to pieces!

We love to swing!!

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She was growing impatient with the hat!!

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The latest on Lillie McCanless…

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McCanless has been growing so quickly and I often forget that she is only four, and only in 3K. All or nothing is how she operates!! We have had to have “big girl” talks with her lately on issues regarding her sassy mouth, melodramatic displays to get what she wants, and less than desirable behavior/mouth. (Somedays in a fit, she will tell me that I’m a bad mom or that she is running away!) I swear, are girls born like this?

She loves to read, and paint and is a very musical child. She loves music of all sorts. Everything from Dave Matthews to nursery rhymes to Hannah Montana. She also sings constantly… usually any Disney Princess song like “Someday my prince will come….”, etc. She still loves to dress up! Today, we barely made it to school by 9:30 because I wouldn’t let her wear a sequined, pink ballet costume. Today was just too chilly! However, we are about to make a grocery store run and she has on her black glitter shoes, a HUGE tiara and a pink Barbie ballet tutu with her jeans and t-shirt. (Not the first time she has graced the grocery store in her own “get up” such as this!)

This week I asked her if she wanted to play T-ball and she screamed and ran out of the house yelling, “NO, I won’t do it! You won’t make me!” (Did I mention she was dramatic.) Last summer, she attended gymnastics camp and recently began to ask me about attending again. She is very excited about her upcoming summer activities. She is looking forward to swimming at the pool and Bible school. She also loves her dance class, mostly the ballet.

She is 44″ tall and weighs 42 lbs. She seems to be shooting up everyday and losing that “baby look” about her. Last week she had her interview at Thomas Hart for 4K. The photo above was taken just before we left the house. She and I will both be there next year. I know her teacher and I so look forward to her being there with me and having “Ms. Chure.” (Ms. Chure is a crazy, creative and SUPERB teacher!!) I, however, will be out by 12 and she has a full day until 2:45!! I’m not looking forward to getting her up early. I’ll have to start practicing our new schedule soon! McCanless is still a night owl and loves to sleep in! Currently, I wake her up around 8 am to get her up and moving to be a school by 9, which is still hard for her!

She loves being outside, and I’ll often find her having wandered outside alone, sitting on the porch or walking along picking flowers. She can “pump” on her swing set alone now as well! (yahoo) She loves to make potions or mud pies with my potting sink outside on the deck. She’ll mix potting soil, water, flowers, sticks, etc., and usually prefers to use my nice “fancy” serving spoons, kitchen tools over her plastic kitchen sets!

She amazes me everyday with her spirit! McCanless is still my spunky, little mess and we love her so much!

Baby Annabelle

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I “met” (websites and emails) an amazing family recently through a nurse at MUSC. Their sweet and beautiful daughter, Annabelle, had HLHS and was also born and spent her first weeks in Charleston at MUSC. Her mother and I emailed a bit and spoke of getting our girls together one day soon, even with little Emerson and her mommy. We shared struggles with the “germ season,” sleeping issues and the like, but all seemed very well, otherwise.

On March 27, 2008, at only 7 weeks old, Annabelle suddenly and surprisingly passed away. Ironically, her mother is the one who has helped me find some sort of peace with sweet Annabelle’s passing. I cannot imagine life after losing a child, but Annabelle’s mother has shown such grace and strength. Her faith is amazing and I have learned so much from her and from Annabelle’s short and precious life.

www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

On the move!!

Guess who can “officially” crawl now?? Today, Mary Clare was sitting in the middle of my kitchen playing as I finished up a few chores. She decided she wanted a closer look in the dishwasher, so she scooted onto her hands and knees and crawled right over to it, a good four feet away, without even stopping or hesitating! Of course, I dropped to my hands and knees and clapped and cheered, then cried. She stopped, pushed herself back onto her bottom, and just sat there staring at me like I had lost my mind. I typically don’t get that excited over clean dishes, I guess.

For several weeks she has been able to move around pretty well just by sitting up, flattening herself, sitting back up, flattening herself, etc. over and over until she gets to where she wants to go. (She just couldn’t get that belly off of the ground.) I was afraid that she was headed on the same path as big sister and want to walk before crawling. (Which, thank goodness McCanless finally crawled shortly before she walked…barely.) They both love to be up and on the go. Crawling seemed too slow for both of them.

Have I mentioned Mel calls her my hood ornament? It’s amazing that she has even learned to crawl as much as I hold her. It began that way because it was easier to deal with McCanless and hold Mary Clare as an infant, then it was a safety issue keeping her away from McCanless at times (after the sausage link episode), then that was the only way she would sleep. Now I carry her around with me because she cries for me to hold her….24-7. (Should have seen that one coming.) She is definitely a mommy’s girl, which secretly makes me smile. I figure one day her legs will drag the ground and she will have to walk, right?

I am so proud of my baby girl. It’s all just happening way too fast!

Daufuskie with Mimi and Bapa!!

Waiting on the ferry to Daufuskie…

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On Hilton Head, we were able to take the girls to The Sandbox, an interactive children’s museum. McCanless has been before and always has a great time! This was Mary Clare’s first visit, and she loved the baby area most. She met lots of new friends!

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Daddy came down on Thursday night. Mimi, Daddy and Mary Clare were able to spend time together while McCanless and I went to see Annie performed by a children’s theater. It was amazing. McCanless sat entranced the entire show. In fact, after the very first act (when all of the orphan girls sing and dance) she looked at me and in a star-struck dreamy voice said, “I can do that, Mom.” She is too funny!

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In the pool with Mimi…

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Watching Cinderella with Mimi…nothing better!

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Thank you so much, Mimi and Bapa! We had the best time!

Update on Mary Clare, the heart baby…

It seems forever that I’ve had news to post regarding Mary Clare as a heart patient. Since our clinic visits were bumped up to every three months, I’ve had mixed emotions. I’m thrilled that Mary Clare has not had chest x-rays, blood draws, echos, long clinic visit days to Charleston etc,etc, but it can be a bit unnerving without those reassurances to tell us without a doubt that everything is A-okay. She seems to be doing exceptionally well and our next clinic visit is in May. She is still on Enalipril, a blood pressure medicine and her daily asprin.

It has been simply wonderful to be able to post about our daily lives and Mary Clare’s milestones without having to report on her health. I almost feel like a “normal mom” for the first time since I found out I would be becoming a “heart mom.” At the same time, however, I feel a bit guilty because her heart condition isn’t on the forefront of my mind 24-7. I certainly worry about her daily, as does any mom with her children. Some moms worry most about nutrition, some about tall stairs, asthma, learning disabilities, etc. I just happen to worry most about Mary Clare’s heart. It doesn’t make my worry any more difficult or worse, just a bit different from most moms.

When she cries too hard, I feel her chest for quick tiny heart beats. I’m not sure why, I don’t really know what her normal heart beat should feel like. When she is sleeping, I creep into her bedroom, lower the crib rail and position myself so that I’m almost lying beside her so that I can smell her sweet, precious breath. When we are all laughing, playing, caught up in the middle of toddler/ baby chaos I quickly thank God for each and every moment I have with both of my girls, the good, the bad and the ugly!! Our family isn’t really that different from anyone else’s, and for that bit of normalcy, I am so truly, truly thankful.

When you leave Daddy in charge of dinner…

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I came into the kitchen after bathing McCanless to discover my baby girl under a pile of noodles. As she ravenously devoured them (or tried to), I stared silent and wide-eyed, not sure if I should quickly review the Heimlich, kill Mel, or just laugh. I laughed.

Mel then explained to me that last week at Mimi’s, she tried this new treat and gave Mimi and Mel a great laugh as she squeezed each and every noodle-O before squishing it into her mouth. (I think I was at Annie with McCanless-good thing.)

We have been giving her tastes of everything we eat and Mary Clare has become quite the little food connoisseur sampling everything from Mexican cuisine to broccoli casserole. (I just didn’t realize she could feed herself) She LOVES “real food” and I’m afraid that baby food days are over. She STILL has NO TEETH, which doesn’t keep her from gumming every piece of veggie, cracker, cake, ANYTHING! It is amazing.

Hi from Daufuskie Island…

McCanless, Mary Clare and I are “Spring Breaking” it in Daufuskie/Hilton Head this week. (Who would have thought that Spring Break begins in kindergarten??) We have had so much fun with Mimi and Bapa playing, shopping and swimming!

Mary Clare has been on her first ferry ride (over to Daufuskie), been swimming in the pool for the first time, and is even about to crawl. I’m almost 100% sure she will crawl by the weekend! Daddy will be coming into Hilton Head tonight, so hopfully he will be here when our little munchkin takes off!

We are having so much fun and will post photos as soon as we are back in Hartsville!

Easter Morning

The Easter Bunny came to visit McCanless and Mary Clare!!

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Okay, so I tried!!! I ordered this Easter bonnet for Mary Clare because it is a Charleston Bonnet, and I thought it was an appropriately wonderful bonnet! It was so cute on her, but as soon as I tied it, she screamed. The ONLY way she would even keep it on for a moment was if I just placed it on top of her head without tying it!

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McCanless had had enough after finding two eggs. She was way more interested in the swings. (Which is exactly what she did last year at the church egg hunt!)

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On to Easter lunch and egg hunt number 2 at Grandmother’s house. (Redfearn) This time, however, there was an incentive! PaPa stuffs his Easter eggs with money!

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The girls: Kate, Mary Clare, Kacy, me and McCanless (behind me)

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On to Nonnie’s house and egg hunt number 3 for McCanless! Mel had to work after lunch, and Mary Clare fell asleep in the car driving home from Grandmother’s house, so McCanless and I decide to keep on truckin’ and hit the road to Nonnie’s house!

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I so wish I had a photo or video of the “big” kid egg hunt that Nonnie has every year. Since we (ughmm, well most of us) are now in our 20’s(20’s/30’s…it’s all the same, right!?), the Easter bunny no longer visits us, only grandkids. Nonnie more than makes up for the bunny by hiding cash stuffed eggs in the house! (She got the idea from Mel’s mom. In college, Mel and I could eat for 2 weeks on our egg hunt funds from Sarah!) Except Nonnie’s hunt gets a bit competitive! If you have ever seen the running of the bulls, you’ve come close to the experience! Mel, Alston, Kacy, Kate, Matt and I all running, pouncing and diving for colorful, tiny plastic eggs is quite a scene.

I didn’t find a single egg. (Probably because Kacy elbowed me into the fridge causing me to step on her dog. AND every egg that I spotted, she jumped over me to grab.) BUT after a hint from Nonnie as to the whereabouts of the coveted $20 prize egg, we all dove toward the buffet in the dining room. Once I found it under a tin bunny and it fell to the floor, everyone hit the floor to grab MY egg. After bruised ribs from someone tickling me in efforts to get me out of the game, bruised knees and a patch of hair missing, I was able to capture The egg!) 😉

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My baby brother and my dork…

What a wonderful Easter! We are so blessed to have such a great family!

Happy Easter!

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Happy Easter!

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Gotta leave some for The Bunny!

After the Easter party at school today, McCanless and I were in the mood to do a bit of egg dying! (…and doesn’t everyone dye eggs in a Jasmine costume?) We were all set up and ready to go and realized that Mary Clare wanted in on the action, so we had to deter her for a while. Baby, 4-year-old, eggs and dye do not mix!

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Two dozen plastic eggs and a bunny basket later, Mary Clare is occupied for the moment…

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..one pink, one blue, one pink, one yellow, one pink, one purple, one pink, one pink…..

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Okay, so by this point even the egg carton was getting boring…

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McCanless loves hard-boiled eggs and I cannot remember an Easter when we didn’t eat the eggs immediately after dying them. (In fact, her teacher was amazed when she was the only brave volunteer in her class to eat a real egg recently.) Fortunately this year, I made more eggs than I usually do, so when McCanless ate her fill after dying them, we would have lots of left overs to hide, look at, do whatever you are supposed to do with left over Easter eggs!?! (Kids don’t send real eggs to school anymore as we did. Nowadays, kids take 12 plastic “stuffed” (with candy) eggs to school! I say you haven’t lived until you find a completely rotten egg on the playground!

As she was peeling a bright pink egg, a revelation came to her and with wide eyes, she exclaimed, “Mom! We have to save some to leave out for the Easter Bunny!” I wonder if he’ll take carrot juice with his eggs?

First Baptist 3-K Easter Party

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After a chilly egg hunt, the kids went wild at the party inside!

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This was the best shot I got of Mary Clare at the party. Most of the time, I was having to ward off kids surrounding her. She was a hit. The kids were fascinated by her. McCanless asked me after the party if I could take Mary Clare to school everyday. She was such a big sister telling them not to touch her face, that she may get germs.

Virginia Ann’s Easter Party

Mary Clare’s friend, Virginia Ann, had an Easter party last weekend and the girls had a ball!

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Mary Clare and Reese

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Mary Clare and Virginia Ann

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More baby friends, Emma and Jane.

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Mary Clare grabbed Reese’s passy and didn’t let go!

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Oh, and about the black nail polish..that’s not a typical color we have sitting around our house! McCanless spent the night with Aunt Kate and came home donning the hip new nail color and singing new Brittany Spears songs. Having five aunts is rough…

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I think he is after that rattle!

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

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We headed South for the rest of winter…

We visited Sissy and Uncle Kurt last week and had THE BEST TIME! We ate, laughed, played, baked (as in the sun) ate, laughed and ate some more!

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This was about 5 minutes after our arrival.

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Sissy and Uncle Kurt bought this house a couple of years ago and completely gutted it and “re-did” everything, including the yard! It is such a wonderful sunny “Florida” house and is beautiful.

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Sissy and Nonnie in the kitchen! Sissy is a great cook and cooked wonderful meals for all of us!

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The day we arrived was a beautifully sunny but still windy day, so we headed to the park for some fun! (after McCanless took a dip in the pool)

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Sissy bought this great baby pool for Mary Clare. Funny thing is she was scared to death of it. We have no idea why, but every time she got near it, she burst into tears! Even looking at it would bring a scowl to her face!

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We even had an egg hunt!

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…and decorated cookie eggs!

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Even sea gulls can’t resist Goldfish!

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This was the first time Mary Clare (that she remembers) has seen real grass and lots of sunshine! She LOVED sitting in the sun, however, I think I need to invest in a pair of baby shades.

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Sissy even has an outdoor television…McCanless was in heaven! Hot dogs and Noggin by the pool, who could ask for more? (I kept telling her that this was vacation and once we returned to normal life inland, no so much tv!)

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This was another park in Melbourne also just a mile from Sissy’s house. We had the best time!

Look at Mary Clare pulling up!

She hasn’t quite mastered crawling yet (or even begun to really try), but she definitely wants to be on the move! She becomes so frustrated while we hold her. She leans forward and grunts until we put her down, then cries because she can’t really go anywhere! If she is sitting, she’s usually trying to reach for anything to pull up on! I think we’ve got another mover on our hands.

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(I had to help her a bit this time, her leg was caught under her.)

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She is so proud of herself! Look at that big grin.

Baby Shower number….hmmmm, too many to count!

It seems that most of my girlfriends are on the baby bandwagon, and are multiplying quickly! This weekend we had a baby shower for Betsy, a high school friend of mine. I wanted to post a picture of her because she won’t do it herself on her own blog! 😉 She is the one in the middle beside me, although you really can’t tell she is preggo! She has the smallest basketball belly, but is due in May! Many of us live out of town so it was great getting together!

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Mom and Kate invited us to go along with them to Indialantic, Florida to visit “Sissy” (Mom’s sister) this week. At first I was a bit reluctant to travel with both girls, so far in the car. Then I thought, why not!? Sun, beach, Nonnie and Kate to help out!!! So we packed up and hit the road!

Here are a few pictures from our trip. I’ll be able to post more when I’m home again… Mary Clare was too cute in her new “swim” suits and McCanless had the best time swimming in the pool and chasing sea gulls on the beach!

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McCanless jumped into Sissy’s pool as soon as we got there! I was afraid that she may have “forgotten” how to swim from last summer, but it was as if winter never happened. She didn’t hesitate and was able to swim all over the pool!

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Mary Clare has it made in the shade under the “Tiki” Hut at Sissy’s house!

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My little sun kissed cuties ready for bed!

Update on Mary Clare’s heart friends…

If you remember, in previous posts I wrote about adorable baby girl with HLHS from Hartsville. We met sweet Kierra and her mom, Shirley, at MUSC in October when Mary Clare had her heart catherization, and got to know them better as they were still on 7C in December when Mary Clare had her second surgery. As rare as Hypoplastic is, it was shocking to know another baby with the defect so close to us. I’m sad to say that baby Kierra passed away this Saturday at only 5 months old. Baby Kierra’s heart didn’t do well after her first surgery and was on a heart transplant waiting list, and sadly never had a chance with a new heart.

I pray that Shirley finds peace, as I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a child. Fortunately, Shirley was able to bring her baby girl home for a few months and spend time with her away from the machines, doctors and MUSC life.

I am again reminded at how blessed we are to have our strong baby girl and pray that God continues to allow us to care for her. She is a true miracle that we are so very thankful for.

Baby Emerson is at MUSC right now for her pre-op day, and will have her second surgery, the Glenn tomorrow. I spoke to Erica last night and they are all very nervous, as one would expect. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. If you are interested in keeping updated on baby Emerson (as I often have several of you ask about her) please visit her care page. Go to www.carepages.com, log in, and go to her page: EmersonBanksMay

It is amazing what these babies endure. What little fighters and what amazing testimonies to God’s grace.

A brand new big girl car seat for Mary Clare!

At a whopping 16.5 lbs now, Mary Clare is getting a bit too heavy for Mommy to carry in her infant carrier car seat, so we decided to go ahead and upgrade her to her very own, brand new, big girl car seat!! (We moved McCanless up when she was 8 months old also because she definitely outgrew hers. At 8/9 months old, big sis was 20+ lbs and her legs hung over the edge! We had to move her up!)

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Mary Clare loves being more upright, and loves the new cow print!

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If it seems as though Mary Clare is smiling in most of her pictures, it is because she smiles and giggles ALL OF THE TIME! She smiles at everyone that looks her way. She especially loves McCanless and lights up with a huge grin when she so much as hears her big sis! She is so happy and always gives us a wonderful reason to smile right along with her! We love baby girl so very much and thank God every day for her and for our big girl!

Have I mentioned that McCanless LOVES Hannah Montana?

The house momentarily grew quiet today and when I went on a search for McCanless, I found her walking outside listening to her Hannah Montana CD on her headphones. (wait for a moment, she really gets down around 00:46)

When she realized that I was filming her, she wanted to perform, so this is Part II…

By the way, she dressed herself today. And for the record, I usually don’t allow her to be outside alone. (We had a chat about that after her performance!)

Skate Night!

For a few weeks, Mel and I have taken the girls to the Hartsville Skating Rink on Thursday nights for a night out; sometimes even staying out as late as 9:00!!! It has definitely been since college that Mel and I have been up past 10 on a Thursday night. (That was when we got started in those days.) These photos are from a few weeks ago and I so wish I had my camera last week.

Last Thursday, McCanless grew tired of skating and decided to try a few moves on her own dance floor. Right in the middle of the game area and in front of the entire grill audience, she began to jiggle and gyrate to the sounds of Hannah Montana. With her eyes closed and a concentrated look on her face, she wiggled her hips and danced as she has for me countless of times at home. Just this time she was surrounded by mere strangers. She was in a trance and didn’t seem to notice the crowd at all. Trying to hide their laughs and giggles, people couldn’t stop watching her. I’m not sure if they were amazed that one little body could move so much or just wondering where in the world she learned how to do that! One lady took her picture and told me that I must put her in dance classes. (I guess you couldn’t tell that she has taken for two years. Those formal tap and ballet moves were certainly not showing themselves on this night.) When she finally realized that people were watching, she smiled and kept going. My little performer!

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Worn out!

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This morning I decided to take Mary Clare for a walk after our usual morning routine. She loves being outside and really enjoyed herself today with the sunshine out and many other walkers to watch. She cooed at birds and kicked her legs and waved her arms all around. She was so excited to be outside.

By the time we got home, she was exhausted and almost asleep and I KNEW she wouldn’t stay asleep as I unbuckled her from her stroller and carried her in. (She’s not usually the baby that sleeps anywhere nor sleeps deeply.) But today, as I transfered her to my bed (her crib would have been too far of a drop), she was so tired, she didn’t move! This was how she laid for her entire nap!

After Bath Crazy Hair…

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Chicago visit…

The last time Mel and I visited Chicago was when I was about 7 months pregnant with McCanless, so we were very excited to visit with our Haarlow family last week. Unfortunately, the sad event that led us to Chicago was the passing of the matriarch of the family, “Grandma Midge.” She was a remarkable woman and we had the great opportunity to attend a beautiful ceremony that truly honored and celebrated her life. What a wonderfully unique family and what a special time we had!

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Sunday morning was an early morning for all of us! We had to be at the Florence Airport by 8 AM.

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First flight for Mary Clare…7 months old! She did exceptionally well and didn’t fuss a bit! What a traveler!

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First flight for McCanless…4 years old! “Look Mom, we’re in Heaven!” she said as we reached clouds. Later, staring out of the window, she sang the song from Aladdin, “I Can Show You the World.” (The song they sang on the carpet ride!) She was too funny, and loved every minute of it!

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Once in Charlotte, McCanless was able to see what a real airport was like! She loves the “moving sidewalks,” as she called them.

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She was okay with the layover for a while…

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Then she was ready for the flight…

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This was just before a completely bored melt-down, but she still managed to smile for the camera! She has become quite the little model for me lately!

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McCanless was thrilled to see the stretch limo waiting for us outside of the O’Hare airport in Chicago. Notice the difference in clothing from the above photos in Clt!! Yikes, it was below zero!! (We knew a limo service would be there to pick us up, however, we didn’t expect an actual stretch limo!) What a surprise!

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Finally, in Hinsdale with Mimi, Bapa and all of our Haarlow family!! That is cousin Andrew with the girls above. (Hinsdale is a beautiful little city just outside of Chicago.)

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McCanless didn’t know what to do with so many cousins around!

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Thank goodness cousin John was a sledding (and cold weather) pro and could help McCanless and Andrew with a make shift toddler-friendly “hill.” The other young cousins, who were not as impressed with the snow and ice, were inside playing, while the southern cousins, McCanless and Andrew stayed outside all day!! They couldn’t get enough snow!!

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Rosy cheeks and nose!

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Making snow cream with Mimi!! Apparently, snow cream is a southern treat! No one knew what it was! I guess the last thing they want to do with all of that snow is eat it! Anything is great with suga and vanilla, I guess!

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McCanless, Mel and I took the train into Chicago one day. Mary Clare stayed in the warm with Mimi!

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Wow, we’ve never seen cold like this!! Burrr!

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Her gloves were wet from making snow balls to throw at Daddy! This was when we had to make a quick detour into the Water Tower mall to get warm and dry!!

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We finally made it to the American Girl doll store!! McCanless was mesmerized by all of the dolls! I, of course wanted to go into the Historical Collection that I remember reading all about as a child. But Mel wasn’t impressed, so we ventured up to the top floor where little girls can choose their own doll, matching clothes, and even have lunch together! (Unfortunately, we had already had lunch!)

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Getting her new doll’s hair styled!

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After taking Daddy through the American Girl store, he made us go to the Mac store! McCanless and I played Dora games while he excitedly chatted “dork” with the Mac associates and played with all of the new gadgets.

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We decided to take a taxi back to the train station. It took McCanless about 2 minutes to fall asleep, and she didn’t even have her silky!

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Back in beautiful Hinsdale. This was taken just before a train flew by us, completely covering us in snow and nearly blowing us across the other tracks! We were trying to get a few shots and thought the train was slowing to a stop. Apparently, Hinsdale was not a stopping point for that train!

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On the road again…

Thank goodness for this play area at O’Hare! Our original flight was canceled because of the snow and was rescheduled for a later time!!

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Who knows, now maybe McCanless will want to be a pilot one day!

McCanless…

This is a video of McCanless writing her name. I have never worked with her on this, so this is a testament to her wonderful teacher, Mrs. Martrano! (The sheets she brings home have the capital M and lowercase letters following, so I’m not sure why she always writes in capitals…although, I just realized this is exactly how Mel writes!!) She left out a few letters and stuck them in after she finished. She can write any letter of the alphabet and is always asking how to spell different words. She loves to spell her friends’ names. We are so proud of our big girl!

(For all of you teachers reading this, we know that 3K isn’t quite developmentally ready for writing, however Mrs. Martrano realized that there were several older children that were eager, so she went with it. She works with them individually and McCanless simply adores her and LOVES writing!)

Mary Clare…

This was after dinner one night, obviously. (I don’t usually leave her that messy!) I always encourage her to “play” with her food and spoon and it usually ends up looking like this….I know, I know it goes against everything we are “supposed” to teach our children, but it is so much fun!

She is really beginning to eat a lot now, and loves tasting “big girl” food. So much so, that I’m afraid that she’ll soon tire of this baby food stuff and want the real deal all of the time. Tonight, we celebrated Nonnie’s birthday at Rancho Grande and Mary Clare ate almost an entire serving of refried beans! (This was after her usual dinner of one jar of baby food and a bottle.)

She is also beginning to “babble” and even shouts “words.” I know that she doesn’t really know what she is saying because it usually ends with DA-DA-DA. (If she knew what she was saying, it would most certainly be Mamma)

She continues to amaze me everyday with all that she is learning and accomplishing. She is so curious and loves to listen to people. She loves to be up and moving constantly and loves “standing” on our laps. I’m afraid that she is definitely a little spunky one and is quite impatient, so far. (Everyone always told me that if your first child is strong-willed, you’ll definitely have a more laid-back second baby….we are proving that completely WRONG)

She is still a bit on the smaller side at 15 lbs, but she definitely looks healthy and with this new appetite of hers, she should catch up in no time! (By the way, I have a pillow under her in the highchair.) I think her personality more than makes up for her tiny stature. She is such a spunky little sweetheart and we love her so much!

The Windy City was more like the Frozen City!

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Mary Clare and McCanless went on their first plane ride and actually saw “real snow” for the first time! We flew to Chicago on Sunday, went sledding in -3 degree weather, had a great time with our Haarlow family, and even visited the American Girl store! I have lots of photos to post when I finish school Valentine treats, unpack, and get our life back to “normal.”

10 bottles of juice on the wall, 10 bottles of juice…

I think McCanless and I will be singing this song in our sleep tonight. (McCanless can’t really count backwards from 100, so we had to improvise with the numbers as well as the um, beverage)

The girls team hit the road today for a clinic visit in Charleston. Yes, I’m crazy. I took both girls today, alone. It actually worked well. I’ve gotten good at timing these visits, so I know exactly when and how long Mary Clare will sleep. (almost to the exit) I thought it was going to be a long day when, about an hour outside of Hartsville, McCanless said, “I change my mind Mommy, I would rather go to school.” When I explained that we were way too far away from school, I had to find something to occupy our time. (A movie in the DVD player had already resulted in car sickness. Apparently my mind is going…I should have remembered this about her.) So it was 10 Bottles of Juice on the Wall for about 1 hour and 10 minutes.

Mary Clare’s visit went very well. In fact, we are cleared for visits to be every 3 months now!! Her oxygen levels were in the mid 80’s, which is higher than they have been in a while. Her BP and heart rate were great, and she now weighs 15 lbs 6 oz!!! She had her last RSV vaccine and blood draw today too!! McCanless had fun explaining Mary Clare’s scar to the cardiologist, as if he didn’t know why it was there. She told him that Mary Clare had a broken heart and that it was her job to rub medicine on it every night. (lotion) She was quite the little helper today…for all of us…me, the nurses, the cardiologists, other parents, etc. She really did great considering we arrived at MUSC at 10:30 this morning and didn’t get back into the car until 2!

We were also able to visit a friend of ours for a few moments while there. Little Bella was born a few days before Mary Clare and our families really got to know each other this summer, as we were “dorm mates” in the PCICU and 7C for a while. Little Bella is back at MUSC for a few procedures and was doing well when I spoke to her mom today. They are such a wonderful family and little Bella is so sweet.

I also spoke to Erica today as she and her husband were preparing to leave for MUSC for Emerson’s heart cath tomorrow. Please keep both of these wonderful families in your thoughts and prayers this week. These precious babies are so sweet and we hope and pray for both of them to be home and well very soon.

What a life!

This is usually where you’ll find Mary Clare when McCanless is in her playroom jamming out, or doing whatever it is that she is up to. Mary Clare loves this car and loves to lay back and “relax.”

Sometimes, McCanless includes Mary Clare in her little schemes. Yesterday, she had a blanket completely draped over Mary Clare’s head and said that Mary Clare was her puppy and in a dog house. Mary Clare loves it, however. She really misses McCanless during school hours. I can tell because she looks around the house seemingly looking for her big sister and probably wondering why it is so quiet!

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…and she can finally hold her own bottle!! (Don’t worry that isn’t a soft drink in her bottle, just a bit of apple/prune juice. Yup, she has the same potty “issues” as McCanless.)

She gets her moves from her Daddy…

I don’t know if you have heard of the Bella Dancerella DVD series or not, (I’m sure you have if you have a daughter between the ages of 4-8) but McCanless is obsessed! They are Disney “How-To” videos, complete with a teenage girl instructor (Bella), dance mats, props and step by step instructions! We have Bella Dancerella Princess, Bella Dancerella High School Musical AND Bella Dancerella Cheerleader (my personal favorite) This is a video of her showing off a few of her new moves to a “Kiss the Girl” Disney music video.

If you think this is funny, you should see her with one of her Bella DVD’s. (complete with costumes and props) I’m working on getting that on tape! It seems that every time McCanless gets going with one of those, Mary Clare has me busy! Oh well, at least I caught this!

February 14th is CHD Awareness Day! (Congenital Heart Defects)

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Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, Mary Clare’s CHD, has a reported prevalence of 0.2 per 1,000 live births. Although HLHS is rare, CHDs are the #1 birth defect in America, with 1 out of every 125 children born with some sort of heart defect.

Everyday we are amazed at all of the people who inquire about Mary Clare and our family! I would love for you to “sign” this entry so that one day we can show her just how many people knew her and learned more about CHDs because of her life! Don’t worry, you don’t have to write anything, just go into comments and type your name and location! That’s all! Thanks!

OKAY, don’t be shy….we noticed that 85 unique visitors viewed the site today, which is actually pretty low, yet NOBODY “signed.” Mel promises not to sell your email addresses, or worse, start emailing you! 😉

Big girl cup for big girl, Mary Clare

It’s hard to believe that McCanless completely dropped her bottle and refused anything but her sippy cup at 10 months, but looking back, I realized that I started giving her a sippy cup to “play” with pretty early. So, today McCanless and I picked out a brand new pink and purple sippy cup with handles just for Mary Clare. (guess who chose those colors?)

Well, that and the fact that Mary Clare now goes completely nuts when she sees a sippy cup because a certain big sister was giving her sips of juice from her sippy cup without telling mommy. I was beginning to wonder why she would kick and cry and pitch fits as I fixed cups of juice for McCanless… I’m only hoping that Mary Clare will learn to like the watered down version of apple juice after tasting the real thing! We’ll see!

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Here was her first attempt! No problems with drinking out of the spout…thanks to previous secret practice sessions with big sister. She just couldn’t figure out how to keep the juice flowing. (holding the cup up)

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When all else fails…

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By the way, Mommy and McCanless had a discussion about Mary Clare ONLY using her OWN pink and purple sippy cup and ONLY when Mommy was helping. Mary Clare is “not allowed” to use big girl cups any longer.

Happy 7 month birthday, Mary Clare!

Mary Clare is 7 months old today! Here is our sweet baby girl just sitting in the play room while big sister is watching The Little Mermaid. Mary Clare is such a busy body now, always moving, reaching and grabbing everything. This is just a video of her being her, moving, “kissing” and whining!

Update on Emerson…

I spoke to Erica yesterday, and other than the occasional “normal” baby worries (ear infections, not quite sleeping through the night, etc) little Emerson is doing great! We have been able to see them occasionally at clinic when our visits overlap, and it is so nice to watch the girls grow so quickly! We can’t wait for the day they can play together and compare “war stories” and “battle scars!” Emerson will have her heart catheterization on February 7 and her second surgery, the Glenn, within the month following. I know all too well how scary that is for them and pray that all goes well. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as they face the upcoming month. I know little Emerson will be strong and will be a heart rock star just like our sweet Mary Clare! I’m hoping she’ll beat our 5 day record short stay after surgery!

Pucker-up Buttercup!

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Mary Clare is definitely gearing up for Valentine’s Day!

Welcome Home, Daddy!

Whew! Mel is home after a week in Orlando at the PGA Golf Expo for Pennington and Bailes. Although I’m accustomed to him working A LOT at the funeral home, it is always nice to have a helping hand in the evenings and especially have adult conversation after long days with the girls. Mel got home on Saturday night and went straight to his “real” work at the funeral home on Sunday morning…welcome home!

The “girl’s team” made it and we actually had lots of fun while Daddy was away. We went roller skating on Thursday night and although it was hard juggling Mary Clare when big girl, McCanless refused the toddler skates and had to have “real skates,” I did have lots of help from other understanding moms that were willing to hold Mary Clare. We ended up having the real skates tightened and away she went socializing with a few school pals and scooting along all night bobbing her head to Hannah Montanna. As luck would have it, McCanless didn’t have school on Wednesday, so we took off to Florence to have lunch at Chuck E. Cheese, a long play date and a bit of shopping! I thought I’d never be able to take both girls shopping like that, especially alone, (McCanless WAS NOT a good baby shopper…Mary Clare, I discovered, is a fabulous shopper!)

I took the girls to lunch often and we cooked together a few nights. Mary Clare saw her first snow and even learned a new trick. (see above) Other than Nonnie watching the girls on Monday and Wednesday for my aerobics class at the Y, the girls and I just had each other day and night! It was a fun week, but we are definitely glad daddy is home! Now, we just have to figure out how to get McCanless back out of the habit of sleeping in our bed….I couldn’t sleep alone last week!

Snow in South Carolina!

Although it took more time to bundle up my girls than it actually snowed, they both enjoyed seeing it for a few moments. As soon as we walked outside, however, it turned into rain, which disappointed McCanless tremendously! Mel was out of town, and it was hard to hold Mary Clare in her marshmallow get-up AND take photos, so I didn’t get much. But here they are…Mary Clare’s first snow, and the first snow that McCanless may remember!

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I couldn’t hold her outside and take a photo, so I thought this would work, but you can’t see the snow!

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Mary Clare didn’t mind at all that the snow stopped falling!

Miss Piggy

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Just an update…

Mary Clare is now going to see her cardiologist every 4 weeks and everything looks great! The only thing I’ve been concerned about lately is getting Mary Clare’s 6 month well-check and shots and McCanless’ 4 year well check and shots! It seems that I live at Dr. Morphis’s office lately, and every time I go for well checks, they have: A) an ear infection B) sinus infection C) some sort of respiratory infection D) a combination of the above!

Between all of the sick visits, flu-shots, RSV vaccines monthly, re-checks, attempts at usual vaccines for both girls and MUSC visits, my head is spinning. I even had to buy a small calendar to keep up with it all! Thank goodness it isn’t much, just the typical baby/child winter stuffies and sticks.

McCanless is now 43″ tall and 42 lbs which places her at the 90% weight and 95% for height. Miss Priss loves school, mostly because of her friends. She can write her name when she feels inclined to do so, never to show off for mommy. Her latest phrase I’m trying to break is, “HELLOOO, Mom….and continuing to give me a ‘you are so dumb’ look as she tells me what I apparently already should know. Did I mention she is only 4? She really is a big help with Mary Clare and continues to amaze me everyday with her wit and charm along with her sassy moods. I’m hoping we’ll get these out of the way now and she will be such a respectful, gracious teenager….right?!

Mary Clare is 15 lbs 1 oz and 27 inches long (25% for weight and 50% for height). She is sitting up very well now and reaching and grabbing everything in front of her. She loves to coo and “talk” out loud, and even attempts to sing with McCanless. (sounds more like a high pitch squeal) She loves to play in her crib with her toys around her and is so easy to put to bed. (so far-fingers crossed) She is sleeping through the night, FINALLY, and is such a good baby!

My Little Calendar Girl

Mary Clare is a star, but we all already knew that. Now, however, she really is a famous! If you are in need of a new calendar for this year, go to www.littlehearts.org! (under products) Mary Clare’s picture is featured on the June month, along with other “heart babies.” I sent in her picture at the end of the summer for one of the organizations fund raisers.

In case you were wondering, safety scissors do cut hair.

I’m not one to talk on the phone much, but when an old friend, whom I’ve known since 3rd grade called the other day, I gladly took several minutes to catch up and talk baby. She is expecting, and I being the ever observant, always conscious, keeping my eyes on my precious children 24-7 parent that I am, I had much advice for her.

I was holding Mary Clare taking laps around the house, chatting away, keeping an eye on McCanless and checking on her every few minutes. Apparently, one eye is not enough and I should know that by now. When I heard her, but couldn’t find her, my heart skipped a beat, but I knew she was somewhere because I heard her. She had been playing in my make-up (the make-up that I allow her to use, powder, brushes, etc.) As any mom will tell you, quiet, independent play once in a while is usually a good thing.

As I searched her playroom, I spotted the head of her “fix up” doll. The one all we girls grew up with. The bust with long flowing hair that comes with brushes and make-up. My first inclination that something may have gone awry was the freshly cut mow hawk on the doll.

“Bets, I’ll talk to you later.”

What came next was as close as I’ll ever be to staring in a movie. I wanted to cry, but I was able to muster up somewhat of a smile. My baby girl had chopped off one entire side of her hair. Have you ever seen a mullet? McCanless had half of one. What could I do? Inside I was screaming, but I simply smiled and began the lesson that I probably should have taught months ago when the Easter bunny brought McCanless her first pair of scissors.

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The new hair cut!

What a gift!!

A very special lady that lives on Daufuskie buys toys, big toys, for all of the kids on Daufuskie Island every Christmas. This year because we were at MUSC with Mary Clare and McCanless was on Daufuskie with Mimi and Bapa, McCanless was also given her very own special, very generous Christmas gift, a Dora the Explorer 4-wheeler! She has had so much fun with it! As you can see below, she not only loves to drive it, she loves posing with it! Thank you so very much Mrs. SC! (Can you believe that? Her initials are the same as Santa Claus!)

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Yes, make-up on her face and in heels, she even makes riding a 4-wheeler prissy!

LMP 4th Birthday Round 4- School Party!!

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I don’t think the boys were thrilled with all of the pink and purple! Nor did they keep on their pink “Happy Birthday” Tiaras! I guess I need to get better at providing boy “stuff” for these parties. She is very into pink and purple, so that is what I went with…oh well.

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McCanless was also the Terrific Kid on Monday, so we had to make a poster all about her. The questions I asked her and we displayed were:

What are your favorite foods? “Butter, Fish Sticks, and Dough” (cookie, I’m assuming)

What is your favorite book? Fancy Nancy

What do you love most in the world? My silky

What are your favorite colors? Pink and Purple

We also added lots of cute photos, and some not so cute, exhibiting her true self! I’ll have to post a photo of the end product, but for now it is proudly displayed in the hall of First Baptist Kindergarten. Believe it or not, McCanless was the first Terrific Kid!! (Okay, so the teacher awards them based on birthday proximity and/or alphabetical order, a very fair and equal process, but I didn’t tell McCanless that!)

LMP 4th Birthday Round 3-Party at FunDayGo!

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Yes, those blurs are my sisters sliding down…

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LMP 4th Birthday Round 2-Los Tres with the Family!

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LMP 4th Birthday Round 1…ice-skating with Mommy and Daddy!

McCanless wanted to try out the new skates she got for Christmas, so for her birthday, we took her ice skating! No Mary Clare, just Mommy, Daddy and McCanless.

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It amazes me how confident she is on the ice. Most other children her age were stuck to their mommy and daddy’s legs, scooting around the edges. Not McCanless! She took off and just seemed to know exactly what to do. She fell several times, but never got too discouraged or scared. (Daddy, however, took a hard fall, almost knocking himself unconscious and had to quit.)

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What better way to end a night on the ice…ICE CREAM!

First Pickle for Mary Clare and First Market Shopping trip for McCanless

Other than a few licks of icing or a taste of sweet tea on her passy, Mary Clare has never enjoyed big people cuisine until our most recent trip to Charleston. We gave her a pickle to suck on and she loved it! She almost sucked it clean. She screamed when I took it away from her!

Last week, she had a clinic visit, and since McCanless was out of school, we all took a family trip down. McCanless enjoyed meeting Mary Clare’s cardiologist and seeing what the fuss was all about. Mary Clare’s visit went well, and all looks great! She is a whopping 14 lbs 8 oz and 27 inches long!

We had lunch and planned to visit the market and let McCanless shop a bit. Unfortunately, it was the only day in SC that it was below 70 this month…well below! Only two vendors were open it was so cold. She still managed to get a pink ring, bracelet and pashmina out of it.

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Back to Nonnie’s, back in PJ’s and back to the table!

By Christmas night, we all were stuffed and tired, but what a wonderful Christmas!

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McCanless received ice skates for Christmas from Pop and is obsessed with ice skating these days. Unfortunately, the ice skating rink was closed and it has been in the 70’s around here lately, so chances of Prestwood freezing over are pretty slim, so she resorts to “pretend” skating… She floats around and twirls everywhere!

Christmas Lunch at Grandmother’s house (Redfearn Family)

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Breakfast at Nonnie’s House!

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Of course, McCanless had to change into her new pj’s!

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Thanks, Sissy and Uncle Kurt! We love the scarf, bib and outfits you sent!

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Christmas Morning!!

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Christmas Eve night…Waiting on Santa!!!

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Thanks for the pink bubble gum machine, Aunt Liz!! We all love it!

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McCanless made Reindeer food at school! According to her, reindeer land on porches, which is why she felt it necessary to dump the entire contents of her bag right on the porch floor. When I told her to scatter it, she began to toss it everywhere!

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We also made cookies for Santa. On Christmas morning, McCanless was thrilled to discover that Santa had eaten the entire plate, except for one with a big bite out of it!

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Christmas Eve at BB and PaPa’s house

After our Christmas Eve church service we always go to BB and PaPa’s house for lots of food, lots of presents, lots of family and our annual Christmas lights tour of Hartsville in the limo caroling to the Disney Family Christmas collection. (We sound like the Walton’s, don’t we?)

Unfortunately, I was unable to snap photos of the lights tour. (it is a bit difficult to juggle a diaper bag, baby, 4-year-old on Christmas eve all the while fitting the ENTIRE family in the limo.)

This year our tour was a bit disappointing…what few houses donning lights we saw were less than spectacular, and the third and final house we did come upon went completely black the minute we entered the driveway. I think they saw us coming. Did I mention we had to wait on Mel to return from work before heading on our tour? So we got a late start to say the least! Has anyone dealt with a 4-year-old on Christmas Eve at 11pm with NO nap while riding through town stuffed into a limo with your entire family singing Goofy’s 12 Days of Christmas? It really is fun, honestly! It wouldn’t be Christmas without it!

The night ended magically, however. When we were returning home and as Reese and Mary Clare slept peacefully and McCanless woke up from a short nap after the disappointing black out house, we slowed the limo, rolled down the windows and enjoyed a spectacular fireworks display we happened upon on the outskirts of town. We quieted the music and watched and listened to the beautiful sparks and pops of the fireworks. McCanless leaned against the window and said, “Gosh, I just love fireworks.”

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First Baptist Preschool Christmas Musical 2007

I’m certainly glad I was able to hear McCanless blast the words to her Christmas songs for two months straight prior to the musical, because this is how we watched her the entire program. She was definitely more interested in what was going on on the stage behind her than performing for those gathered in front of her!

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Tall girl on floor in back with big red bow.

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She turned around once to see if we were there. Once she made sure we were there, she waved and turned back around to flirt with the shepherds.

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She was a bit more inclined to smile for the camera with Daddy at the Christmas party after the program.

My little smiling reindeer!

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Christmas Sunday, December 23, 2007

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Merry Christmas!

What was that movie? Three weddings and a funeral? I wonder if they were half as busy as we were with 4 funerals and a Christmas? Not to take lightly the service in which my husband has chosen as his life work, but sometimes it seems that when things are busiest around here, unfortunately, they are at work as well….and with Mary Clare’s surgery this month, two birthdays, McCanless’ 4th birthday next week, a computer crash, and all twelve days of Christmas celebration, I’ve had little time to document our life. Hopefully when all returns to “normal” and I get my house in some sort of order, I’ll get back to updating the blog more frequently!

Life with two children is fun. Christmas with two children is chaotic, to say the least, but absolutely a riot!! We had so much fun!! Mary Clare had a fantastic first Christmas. In fact, she didn’t even sleep Christmas night she had so much fun! Can’t wait to share everything! Kerri

Do you see what I see?

My soon to be 4-year-old is sounding more and more like a 14-year-old. Lately, when faced with a question from me like, “McCanless, did you mark on your face, color on the wall, put (fill blank) on Mary Clare, make this mess etc, etc…. I’ve been getting a rather annoying, albeit clever answer from her. You know the type, those questions that your mother always asked you even though she always KNEW the answers. Recently, however instead of admitting her “mistakes,” McCanless will reply with slanted eyes and slight tilt of her head, “Did you see me do it?”

I swear, Mel has cloned himself.

My Sweet Potato Queen

I’ve found a veggie that Mary Clare will eat without having to bribe her with applesauce on the spoon first. She loves sweet potatoes!! She ate two containers last night, AND 3 ounces of formula! I thought she was going to sleep all night and maybe even sleep late, but no such luck.

We had our last check-up of the year at MUSC yesterday, and in the words of her cardiologist, everything looked pristine. She had a chest x-ray, an echocardiogram, and an EKG and all looked GREAT. They took off her steri-strips covering her incision and took out the stitch where her drain tube was. Her chest looks great and the scar is really small this time. We even had a chance to visit with Emerson while we were there.

Also, if anyone knows where Santa could find ice-skates or how to explain to a 3-year-old why Santa shouldn’t/can’t bring them let me know!

Mary Clare at 6 months old…(almost)

A few things about my baby girl just before her half birthday, December 27.

She has always been a “good baby” and we thought McCanless was our “difficult baby” (as far as eating, sleeping, teething, etc) I guess when you only have one child and nothing to compare her to, anything can seem difficult the first time!

McCanless began sleeping through the night at 6 weeks(I’m talking about 10 hours straight), Mary Clare is just now getting back to her 10 PM-4 AM schedule at 6 MONTHS on a good night. McCanless went to sleep in her crib and slept….Mary Clare must make a dramatic exit, and wail as we rock, feed, sing, laugh, talk, feed, walk, sing her until we gently place her in her crib only to have her pop open her eyes, smile at us and cry again. The moment we pick her up, she quiets until she realizes that we are again going into the sleep routine to get her down. She fights it every step of the way!

McCanless ate everything I shoved into her face right on schedule. (Not that I was ever big on getting her on a set schedule, she just set one herself. She ate about every 4 hours) Mary Clare snacks all day on an ounce or two of formula at a time, eats her cereal in the morning IF it has apples in it, and will NOT eat veggies. She would rather not eat. She loves any fruit I give her, but NOT A SINGLE VEGETABLE!

But what far outweighs her little trying times, are the many, many smiles we receive everyday! She is such a happy baby. She smiles at everyone. She loves to be with people and loves to be held. (which, back to the “other list”-she is a bit um, spoiled. When she is very tired and about 24 other hours in the day, she only wants to be held by me.)

She has bright blonde hair that she loves to rub at the nape of her neck when she is going to sleep. It is so sweet to watch her in her crib slowly drift off. She always has her little arm thrown back behind her head. She also plays with Mel’s hair when he holds her.

She doesn’t quite have those two front bottom teeth in yet, but she is definitely, definitely TEETHING! She drools on everything and chews on anything that even comes remotely close to her face. She gets so angry at times, and just screams and pulls and chews on her teethers. McCanless had 4 teeth before we even knew she was teething. (4 teeth at 4 months old)

Mary Clare loves her big sister, McCanless, and loves to play with her. She has those deep belly laughs when McCanless is jumping around in front of her acting silly. McCanless has also been trying to teach her to suck on a silky. (Maybe I shouldn’t discourage this…at this point, I’m willing to try anything to help with bedtime!)

We love our alone time together when we take McCanless to school from 9-12 everyday. We play and talk and walk together outside. She coos so much now and seems as though she has so much to say.

Sweet Mary Clare is simply perfect, and we love her so much! I can’t wait to see what is in store for the upcoming years with my girls! I am so proud of both of them! Mary Clare is our tough little fighter and McCanless is our independent little firecracker! Looks like Mel and I have two strong willed little girls on our hands!

Photos of Mary Clare’s hospital stay-Glenn Procedure

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Mary Clare and me with Ronald McDonald. This was taken Thursday night after her long pre-op day. This was the only chilly night while we were there!!

Mel and I would also like to mention that we are so grateful for all of the gracious offers we received to stay in houses, condos, guest rooms, etc. while we were in Charleston this summer and again for this surgery. Although the Ronald McDonald House wasn’t exactly the Ritz, we were very close to our Mary Clare, which was important to us. Only a short walk across the street kept us from her day or night…no traffic or parking issues to slow us down. We met so many wonderful people while staying there as well, and wouldn’t trade the experience for anything!

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Mary Clare in her yellow hospital gown the morning of her surgery.

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Poor baby. This was taken the night after surgery. She was a bit swollen.

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Movin’ on UP…to 7C!

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What heart surgery?! She was up and back to her sweet smiling self in no time!

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Notice the cute t-shirt they gave her. She was pulling all of her wires off constantly because she wouldn’t be still at all!

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Look how much she has grown! She looks like a big girl in this photo!

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She also had to wear a sock over her hand because she was also trying to pull on her IV despite the tape and plastic “baby proof” protection shield…yikes! She never got used to that sock on her hand! Although she did resort to sucking on it when she couldn’t find her passy.

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Anyone care for a chest lead?

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My big girl sitting up in her bed!

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She left her mark this time! This is in one of the hallways of the Children’s Hospital. (tiny purple foot is hers)

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A wonderful day! A quiet, sunny ride home much sooner than expected! Two down, one to go!!

We’re home!!

We were discharged this morning and made it home just after lunchtime! Mary Clare is doing very well and has been napping most of the afternoon. I think she is glad to be back home and in her own crib…on her belly!

As I walked out of the hospital with tears in my eyes, I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief. What a year it has been. In January, we had no idea what was ahead of us. We soon found out that we were having a baby girl, then later began our long journey with HLHS. Now, here we are in December of the same year having witnessed the birth of our Mary Clare and been with her as she faced the most difficult year of her young life. Two open heart surgeries, hundreds of hours of doctors appointments and a much stronger family later, we are home and well and so ready for all 2008 will bring. I couldn’t ask for a better Christmas! God is good!

More great news!!

We were moved up to 7C last night, and after a somewhat difficult night of feeding and holding Mary Clare about every hour and a half, we were just told that her chest tube and pacing wires will be removed today! Only one IV is remaining in her little hand! Whichs means that there is not much more keeping us here!! We may even go home TOMORROW!! Her chest stopped draining, the fluid in her lung has gotten better and she is eating well and feeling well!! I was holding her a few minutes ago and she was pulling up and standing on my lap. She is so happy and back to her usual sweet self.

I think Mel is a bit disappointed about our quick return home, however. He was getting back into the old swing of things up on 7C, being “Mel.” He won’t even have enough time to get into serious trouble this time! (I hope)

What a wonderful day!

Today is a beautiful day in Charleston. It certainly looks like Christmas with bright Christmas lights all around, shops fully decorated and horses and carriages draped in garland and bows, but the sun is brightly shining and it is about 80 outside! Mary Clare is doing even better today, however it looks like we may stay in PC-ICU for one more night, not because of her condition, but because 7C is full! Hopefully, a few children will be able to go home soon so we can move on up.

Mary Clare had her arterial line and catheter removed today. A few more down and only a few more to go! She only has one IV, a chest drain tube, her pacing wires and her leads that monitor her BP, O2 levels, respiratory rate and heart rate. She has been feeling much better today, it seems. She is still given Tylenol every 4 hours and today she had a bit of oxycodone, but other than that, she is back to just her lasix and baby asprin and the new addition of BP meds. It is amazing that after surgery such as this, she is so quickly back to “normal.” (almost)

Hopefully, we’ll be up on 7C soon and will be able to post even more recovery news from there!

7C bound…

Mel and I just left Mary Clare sleeping in the PC-ICU. I’m hoping she will be out for the night! She had a great day and we received the wonderful news that she has been released from PC-ICU and will be heading up to 7-C, the PC recovery unit, tomorrow! We had a few small worries yesterday with fluid in her right lung. The cardiologists were considering a second drain tube to help with that, but after a chest x-ray this morning, the fluid has gotten better! Respiratory therapist have been working with her to help break that up a bit. You would think that having someone sit her up and beat on her back would make her cry, but I think she enjoys sitting up so much that she didn’t even notice it!

Everyone says that Mary Clare is a little heart rock star and has been doing exceptionally well. She was even smiling and laughing this morning! She still gets a bit uncomfortable and pretty fussy at times (rightfully so I feel), and has earned a “reputation” on the PC-ICU floor, her nurse was telling me today. Apparently, when we are there, she is as happy as a clam, but when we are not (during shift change and late night) she is a little “stinker,” as her nurse said. Mel has had fun entertaining the PC staff and looks forward to moving on to another floor to work his magic. He loves being “Mel.”

We heard from McCanless, Mimi and Bapa today. They entered their golf cart in the Daufuskie Christmas Parade. McCanless loved decorating the cart and throwing candy to all 12 spectators. Sounds like most Daufuskie Islanders took part in the parade rather than watching it. She has been going to school with Mimi at Daufuskie Island Elementary and loves that. She even received the “neatest eater” award at lunch one day. They have been to see Cinderella, and even tried to visit Santa. McCanless would rather just look at him this year, but definitely appreciated the goody filled stocking that Mrs. Claus offered her. I knew she would be completely happy when I called her several hours after she left last Wednesday. She was on the ferry over to Daufuskie sitting outside in the sunshine, watching dolphins flip in the ocean. No worries as far as she is concerned. I know Mary Clare misses her. I’m sure she doesn’t know what to do without her sister poking her, jumping around her and swinging her into orbit. Mary Clare is probably bored.

We are looking forward to moving up to 7C so we will be with Mary Clare 24-7! It is getting harder and harder to leave her because she is so alert and feeling so much better. Knowing that the nurses love her and care for her with such compassion is a great feeling and that helps.

I got this quote from another mom who has a daughter with HLHS. Her little girl has gotten through her third surgery and is doing well. Her words so moved me that I wanted to share them with you.

The families and people that shared in the lives of these children will forever be blessed by having known them. Their half heart reminded us to love God and life with our whole heart.

“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with ALL of your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

MUSC Update 8…

Mary Clare is peacefully sleeping right now in her bed in the PC-ICU, so I thought I’d take a break and update you all. She was a bit fussy after lunch, and was given morphine. The cardiologists have explained that with the Glenn, much of the pain for several days is a result of the “new” blood flow to her head, which causes severe headaches. Her body should get adjusted to this soon. I have mentioned before that she loves to sit up. When flat on her back, she attempts sit-ups quite regularly, so being on her back is a bit frustrating for her, I imagine. She is coughing a bit and that seems to hurt her, but my little stubborned baby won’t give it up. She is still trying to sit straight up and is fighting sleep terribly! (even after open heart surgery!!)

She looks great today, with much less swelling. Last night was a rough night for us. She was very swollen and was in a lot of pain. Currently, she is given Tylenol every four hours, morphine as needed and Tordol, a nonsteroid, anti-inflammatory drug for her muscle and bone. The morphine is seeming to make her itchy, so they are trying not to give her much. She is also on benadryl for the itchyness. After surgery they like to get them awake and breathing on their own, so she was off of her sedative soon after surgery. She was also extubated last night. What a difference this surgery is compared to the first!

When we were here for the first surgery she was so young and very unaware of her surroundings and us for that matter. She slept most of the time and rarely opened her eyes. Now, she is wide awake, kicking and grabbing, she knows she isn’t at home, she knows that I’m not holding her and she knows that she wants to move but it hurts. It kills me because I can’t hold her or do anything to comfort her. (At times, the nurses have suggested we walk out for a while-it seems that sometimes when we are not there, she is calmer.) Her blood pressure has been spiking, so she is on meds for that and will most likely go home on those, at least for a short period of time. I was able to feed her a bottle today, which she thoroughly enjoyed. The nurses have been laughing at how “healthy” she is, especially compared to all of the tiny newborns surrounding her. (I tell them she takes after her daddy)

Mel is napping beside me in the computer room, and all is well for today! Hopefully, the next update will be news about moving up to 7C-the peds cardiology recovery unit!

SO PCICU Here We Come

Daddy is making a guest appearance on the blog for the latest update:

We are back in the habbit of beginning all of our thoughts with So after being with cardiology all day. Dr. Bradley cam in and did a post-operation debriefing and let us know that everything went according to plan. He did have to patch her aorta and make it a tad bigger but all is well. She has been moved back into PCICU for recovery and wake-up.

I must say, going back to PCICU is like moving into your old college dorm ten years later, but all of your friends never graduated. We have an official smoothie night planned already (An old fashioned Ice Cream Social for med geeks)

Fr. Michael (Our favorite Priest) came by to have prayer and hang out a while. Some of our nursing friends even stopped by to say hello. Now family is going back one by one to see Mary Clare and let her hold their finger. She should be waking up in a few hours and opened her eyes once when we were in there.

We’ll be here for the next 10-15 days…hunkered down on the cruise chip to nowhere. I will eat a steady diet of CHik-fil-A and Chick-fil-A over the coming week. I am glad to be back at home here amongst our friends at MUSC and will make the most of our stay here.

We will be posting updates as they come available over the next few days and we wanted to especially thank those of you who have offered up your prayers and words of encouragement in the past days and weeks.

FYI – My brother-in-law is staying at our house feeding the dogs this week so feel free to call the cops if you see that the house party is raging out of control.

I wish you all a great weekend!

Mel
The MUSC Cruise Director

MUSC Update 5…

Great news! Mary Clare is successfully off of the heart/lung bypass machine. Dr. Bradley is finished with surgery and is closing her chest now. (Which is more great news… Her chest remained open for 2 days after the Norwood, but after this procedure they close it in the OR) We are now waiting to discuss the surgery with Dr. Bradley, then in about an hour, Mary Clare will be in PC-ICU where we can visit her!

MUSC Update 4…

Mary Clare is now on the heart/lung bypass machine, and Dr. Bradley will begin working in her heart. Things are going slow, but steady. She is doing fine so far. Getting on and off of the heart-lung bypass machine is a huge feat in and of itself, especially for a baby.

FYI from Wikipedia.com: Cardiopulmonary bypass (CPB) is a technique that temporarily takes over the function of the heart and lungs during surgery, maintaining the circulation of blood and the oxygen content of the body. The CPB pump itself is often referred to as a Heart-Lung Machine or the Pumper.

MUSC Update 3…

Robin just paged us with another update. Dr. Bradley is still “working away” but has not yet begun the bypass. She said everything is fine and will page us again with another update around 11.

MUSC Update 2…

We just spoke to Dr. Bradley’s nurse practitioner. All is well so far, but he has only just begun the incision in her chest. The anesthesiologist had a difficult time beginning her arterial line, which meant a late start. We should receive an update around 10…so again, we sit and wait.

This morning Mary Clare did exceptionally well. I put her down last night around 10, and woke her up at midnight for a snack. This morning around 5 when I was getting her ready, I thought she would be miserably hungry, but I picked her up, changed her, dressed her and she slept on until we were at the hospital admitted and in the pre-op room. Once here, we dressed her in a tiny bright yellow hospital gown and she was cooing and smiling and fish kissing (a new trick) the entire time. (Until she finally realized that she hadn’t had her breakfast yet.) A nurse came and got her from me and explained that soon they would give her a sedative gas before beginning any lines…and off she went, my bright eyed baby girl in the arms of a smiling stranger.

Mel and I visited the PC-ICU and realized that she will have the same nurse that she had the very first day she was out of her first surgery. We continue to be amazed at the dedication and professionalism of everyone here and realize how lucky we are to live so close to MUSC.

We’ll post updates as we receive them…Kerri

MUSC Update 1…

We are here! We had to check into MUSC this morning at 9 and after a day of Echos, EKGs, several needle sticks, and discussions with the surgeon, a few cardiologists, and the anesthesiology team we are now settled in at the Ronald McDonald House. Whew, what a day!

We have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM, and were told that the surgery should take around 6 hours. Dr. Bradley told us that the scar tissue/ the fact that this is a second surgery make it a bit more challenging to enter her chest, which will take more time in the beginning. He will then remove her shunt and create a bypass to her lungs. He will also repair/patch anything necessary. (Mel could probably give a more accurate/technical explanation-he focuses on the details.) We will not receive a surgical update until around 9 AM, but will try to keep you posted frequently.

Mel and Mary Clare are watching the news (napping), and I’m in the study. The Ronald McDonald House is simply beautiful and fully decorated for Christmas. There is a huge Christmas tree donning snowflake ornaments with precious children’s faces and a baby grand piano in the main lobby. The soft Christmas lights and music from a dad playing the piano almost make me forget why we are here, but also remind me of all that we truly have to be thankful for this Christmas.

Mel and I both are very relieved and feel great about tomorrow. The doctors seem so sure that Mary Clare will do very well, and assure us that the recovery period will be so much shorter this time. I feel such a calmness tonight. When we are here, we are not alone. Today I watched a little gir in braids, probably around 7 or 8, in a bed close to our Mary Clare. She was in “same day” pre-op as well. She was so brave as she sat still without a peep through the many needle sticks, and she quietly played in her bed as her parents discussed similar topics we also discussed with the various doctors.

Tonight I saw her in the TV room here at the Ronald McDonald House and I asked her if she was having heart surgery tomorrow. She smiled with a snaggle- tooth grin and said, “sure am” then skipped off to find her mom. It is so encouraging to see these children so happy and so brave. We are fortunate to be able to stay here and be around such inspirational souls. I know Mary Clare will do well tomorrow. She has the same sweet spirit and love for life as my new little friend.

We pray not only for Mary Clare, but also for all of the precious children that play and skip and sleep within these walls. The Ronald McDonald House is truly a blessing.

Alston?

A comment that was posted earlier prompted me to post a more flattering photo of my baby brother, who I’m told by at least one person a day looks so much like my baby girl…or I guess I should say she looks like him.

Take a look and see for yourself. Maybe I should get a few photos of him as a baby. He was so cute and had the brightest blonde hair. (I had to crop an old girlfriend out of this photo and enlarge it, so it is a bit grainy…don’t you love big sisters!)

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Ta-Da! Mary Clare can almost sit up alone…ALMOST!

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I finally got a few great pictures of the girls! I had the them in matching dresses on Sunday for church and they both looked so cute, I decided to get a few shots just before heading out. We were late and I knew I didn’t have much time, I only wanted to document Mary Clare’s first big girl Christmas dress. (I wish I had gotten a shot of her tiny white tights and black patent leather mary janes-just like big sister’s…Mary Clare’s newborn size tights were loose and falling off of her!)

These were some of the best shots I have of the girls. I guess I’ve learned that sometimes we can’t plan everything, and sometimes it just works out best that way.

Another attempt…

The girls were having so much fun and laughing one day last week, that I decided to make another attempt at catching them playing under the tree….I’ve given up on having the perfect photo of them in their Christmas clothes or PJs playing under the tree. So, even though they were in pink, I grabbed my camera and I got a couple of cute ones.

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Hartsville Christmas Parade 2007

Daddy was in charge of the Christmas parade again this year and it was great! Mary Clare loved it! (Well, she loved it until she fell asleep…oh, and she cried when the “motorcycle club” drove through, but other than that, we had a great time sitting in the sun and watching McCanless cheer and dance.

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McCanless learned a new trick…

So, I thought I’d see who else had this talent…

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…they are going to kill me for posting these, but they are too funny not to post!

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Not yet!

…and just because my mother said she looked like she had a “sad” looking family when I originally posted these shots, here is a better photo of the four of us looking a little less confused!

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Happy 32nd Birthday, Daddy!

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A “Mel” cake that Kate made.

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Change of plans…

Dr. Bradley, Mary Clare’s surgeon, called Mel yesterday. Unfortunately, there is a child that needs emergency heart surgery this weekend and Mary Clare’s surgery has been postponed until Friday, December 7. (Pre-Op day will be on Thursday)

We were mentally prepared and ready to get this behind us, so the delay is a bit upsetting. However, this is a reminder to us that Mary Clare is progressing so well. We are thankful that her health is in such a state that allows her to be able to wait. I hope and pray that the other child recovers well from the surgery.

I also spoke to a new friend recently about her baby daughter, Kiara who also suffers from HLHS. Kiara will need to have a heart transplant because of difficulties after her Norwood. She was born in October and she and her mother spent Thanksgiving at MUSC. She will most likely remain at MUSC through the holidays and into the new year.

Baby Emerson is doing well and will have her heart catheterization in January with her second surgery probably in February. Emerson is so cute and sounds a bit like my McCanless as a baby, which makes for a tired mommy!

While HLHS is a rare Congenital Heart Disease, is has become a small world and I feel like I know many of the other HLHS mothers going through the same thing. It is a comfort to speak to them and know that we aren’t alone.

Well at least now my family will have Christmas presents! I have been doing a bit of shopping online, and McCanless is beginning to think that I have a thing for our UPS man because I run out to greet him everyday. ( to intercept boxes) I guess the good thing is that this gives us a few more days to enjoy the Christmas season at home and get a bit more shopping done! (Still looking for the Disney Enchanted Tales Deluxe Princess Castle!)

We’ll be in Charleston on Thursday and will update you from there!

Mary Clare’s surgery update

Mel, Mary Clare and I will travel down to MUSC on Friday morning for a pre-op day. They have told me to be prepared to stay for about 4-5 hours. (We’ll be back in Hartsville that afternoon) She will have blood work done, echo cardiograms, and EKGs before her surgery, which is scheduled for Monday morning. On Friday, we will find out exactly what time she will go in for surgery. Mel and I plan to drive down to Charleston on Sunday, meeting Mimi along the way to “deliver” McCanless for a fun trip to Daufuskie while we are at MUSC.

I’m having such mixed emotions about the surgery. I know it is absolutely necessary for her to sustain life, but at the same time, I know she faces all of the complications that come along with such a complex surgery. We knew this second surgery was coming, it just seemed to come so quickly. Just the thought of seeing her in PCICU again breaks my heart. She is doing so well right now that it is hard to believe that under her tiny chest, her heart still needs “to be fixed,” as I have been telling McCanless and myself. As every day approaches, and I find myself making the preparations of returning to MUSC, the reality of it all grows.

We are truly blessed to have Mary Clare in our lives and even more blessed that God has allowed us to care for her. It is such a comfort to know that we have so many people praying for her everyday, and we know that God is with her and will carry her through this next hurdle. She is so sweet and such an inspiration that I hope each and everyone of you that don’t already know her, will someday get a chance to meet her smiling face. Thank you for your continued support and prayers. On Monday, we’ll be in the PC-ICU waiting room and will keep you all updated. Please pray for our baby girl.

Thanksgiving 2007

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Mary Clare woke up at 6am on Thanksgiving morning starving…here she is having a bit of cereal.

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I don’t even bother with a bib in the morning. Messy is fun!

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Much to my excitement, McCanless was very into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade this year! My sisters and I always look forward to watching it and I was thrilled to see McCanless just as excited. She sat and gazed at the floats and shows until we left for Nonnie’s house.

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…which had a delay. Mary Clare was in desperate need of her morning nap, so we put her down and we all watched the parade together.

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Even though it was almost 80 degrees outside, the trees still look like fall!

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The spontaneous tree lighting…

I decided to get a…… fake Christmas tree this year…Yes, I know, it’s horrible, but I figured that we are going to be in Charleston for a while and I AM NOT RE-DECORATING a tree again this year. A few years ago about three days before Christmas, I un-decorated our completely dehydrated, brown, very dead and very hazardous tree, bought a new one and completely re-decorated it. I couldn’t stand the thought of having a dead tree on Christmas morning.

I love the beautiful look and fresh smell of Christmas trees, and I, nor anyone in my recent ancestry has EVER turned to fake, but it was easy and it isn’t messy. (I’m still trying to convince myself) I ventured out this morning and did which I said I would never do, shop on Black Friday. I saw a Lowe’s commercial which promised a sale on Christmas trees. I literally, rolled out of bed at 6:30 a.m.before Mel and the girls were up and hit the Christmas crowd. I was at Lowes at 6:45 and the sale tree, which turned out to be about 4 feet tall and very similar to a Charlie Brown tree, was already sold out. After a very hard decision I ended up with a beautiful 7 1/2 ft. tall fresh-cut Frasier “Ready to Trim” tree. I got home assembled it and had all of the lights on when McCanless woke up. Her face was priceless when I carried her into the den. After she yelled at me from her bed because apparently, I forgot to sleep with her.

We broke out the Christmas movies, songs, and all decorations. My house looked like the North Pole exploded in it today. Even Mary Clare had fun “helping.” She cooed and laughed and loved the lights on the tree. We had so much fun. Mel even made breakfast and we decorated the entire house. This is the earliest we have ever decorated, but it was the most fun! I guess it doesn’t matter what kind of tree you have, as long as it gets you into the spirit. So much for pine, I think I’m getting used to the plastic smell. (at least for this year)

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Okay, so I tried to “stage” a Christmas photo with the girls. (McCanless’ Little Mermaid pj’s were not doing it for me) I put both of the girls in cute Christmas pj’s and this was the best shot I got. Mary Clare fell asleep and McCanless was on such a Christmas high that this was the only face she made all day. Also notice the beads on the tree that she “fixed” for me. She told me I didn’t have them on perfect, so she perfected them.

MUSC check-up…

Mary Clare had a check up yesterday, and after along ride down to Charleston, all looks well. Now that she is sleeping through the night she, obviously, sleeps much less during the day which makes for more difficult car trips! Mel went with us so Mommy was able to sit in the back and entertain munchkin.

She weighs 13 lbs 4 oz and is 25 inches long. (At almost 5 months, she is now a bit bigger than my brother was at birth!) Her oxygen levels were actually pretty high and in the 80’s, which was a relief. She has been a bit bluer lately, which tells us that surgery is getting closer. Our next visit will be pre-op day on Nov. 30. Please keep her in your prayers as we go through this next surgery!

Mary Clare’s Baptism Celebration

Mary Clare was baptized at MUSC just before her first surgery, but we still felt it was necessary to celebrate such an occasion! Here we are with family at the Midnight Rooster last Sunday after the church ceremony. I’m hoping to get better photos from others, because as you can see, I wasn’t able to get many great shots. McCanless wasn’t in any at all except from behind, and I didn’t even get many of Mary Clare! I also didn’t get photos of most of our family there! This “mom of two” business can really get me behind sometimes!!

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Aunt Liz and Mimi walking McCanless into St. Bartholowmew’s, our church.

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Someone was excited about the day!

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This is how Mary Clare spent the entire luncheon…at least she was awake for church.

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I know She is Mom!

Tonight after McCanless said her prayers and “blessed” a long list of her closest friends, relatives, animals, movies, toys, nature, etc, (you get the point) I told her how proud I was of her.

I also mentioned that God was very proud of her, too. As we lay in the darkness and after a brief moment, I heard her little voice, sounding almost annoyed but agreeing with me, “I know She is, Mom.” I laughed to myself and started to ask, but I heard her stuff her silky in her mouth and begin to drift off, so I decided to leave that conversation for later.

Had to mention this…

Every year, the teachers at First Baptist “name” their students for Thanksgiving. The teachers think about an appropriate Indian name each child should receive and incorporate it into an Indian headband, art project, etc….Mrs. Martrano explained that they really think about each child and try to find a very fitting “name.”

Last year, Mrs. Jordan humorously bestowed “Morning Dove” upon our sweet McCanless because she isn’t quite the morning person, a sarcastic approach that certainly was appropriate. (We love Mrs. Jordan-she was exactly what McCanless needed for a first year teacher-so much fun!)

This year McCanless’ Indian name is “Free Spirit.”

I see it and know that Mrs. Martrano hit the nail on the head, but as a parent, I always wondered if McCanless was the same little person at school as she is at home and elsewhere. Now I know! She is what she is, my little free spirit!

Tummy Time…

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I think she is “cheek heavy.” Looks like she is about to topple over.

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A girl can never get enough of Mommy!

(Really, this started out as a joke when McCanless was a baby. Mel and I would “argue” about who McCanless loved most. One morning I slipped this photo of me in this toy and placed it in her crib before Mel went to pick her up for the morning. (It is my engagement photo from 2001) I wanted to surprise him! The photo has remained ever since)

Speaking of Native American names…Little Big Cheeks is ready for her first Thanksgiving!

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Well Check for Sweet Mary Clare

Mary Clare is peacefully sleeping right now, and McCanless is at school so I have a moment to update you on how Mary Clare is growing…

She had her 4 month well check today along with four immunizations. One by mouth and three shots! She is such a trooper though, and only cried for a minute then began to coo and smile at me. I swear I’m making Mel take McCanless for her 4-year-old immunizations in January. I HATE taking them for shots, it breaks my heart. Of course they always look right at me as if I’m the one giving the shots!

Currently this is how she is doing as far as percentiles go:

Head Circumference: 10% (tiny bean head, although those cheeks kinda throw that off)
Height: 50%
Weight: 25%

She has been consistently growing and maintaining her growth curve, so all is very well. She is perfectly “normal” as far as her growth goes! She is still only 12 lbs 15 oz, but the pediatrician told me that after three months they tend not to grow as quickly.

We are now on single grain oatmeal in the mornings along with applesauce and I’ve been trying to incorporate a few yellow veggies at night. SHE HATES HER VEGGIES! I guess I shouldn’t have started with applesauce, she LOVES it and sucks it right off of the spoon. She is doing well eating from a spoon, but for some reason always finds it necessary to sneeze when she has a mouth full of oatmeal.

She hasn’t rolled over yet. I didn’t even think about that until the pediatrician asked me this morning. I’m sure it has something to do with overall gross motor development, but is it really that important for her to roll over? I guess we’ll start baby acrobatics and work on that. She is still trying to sit up. LIterally from a lying position. In her crib she looks as if she is doing crunches. Too funny. The pediatrician also noticed how well she is balancing and holding her head. She still looks around quickly and takes everything in. Mel calls her meerkat.

She is still waking at night to eat and just to have me hold her sometimes, which I don’t mind at all. She is still such a sweet baby and loves her big sister very much. Sometimes Mary Clare just stares at McCanless. Often, I hear McCanless talking to her and hugging her and they both will laugh out loud. Life is good.

Baby, it’s cold outside!

Finally, we can wear those cute hats and coats!!

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Surgery scheduled…

I received a call today from Dr. Bradley’s office regarding Mary Clare’s second surgery, the Glenn. We will have a pre-op day on November 30, and surgery has been scheduled for the morning of December 3. We have been told by many of our doctors and nurses at MUSC that the stay for this surgery will not be as long, if all goes well. For starters, she is born and stable, and is eating. Her surgery happened a week after birth and required that extra week before surgery to stabilize her, then after her surgery and recovery (another week) it took two weeks for her to learn to eat. (four weeks total) So hopefully, we’ll only have the surgery and recovery, which sounds crazy knowing how serious and invasive this surgery is.

Dr. Bradley will go into her heart over the same incision/scar on her little chest, remove her shunt and create a bypass to her lungs. He will also “patch” her pulmonary arteries and do any other “repair” work that may be necessary. Then her heart will fine for at least several more years! We are so blessed to have Dr. Bradley so near. He is truly a wonderful and brilliant man! Please pray for Mary Clare’s upcoming surgery and pray for a quick and healthy recovery. She is a tough little baby girl and we know she will get through this second surgery with flying colors just in time for Santa’s visit!

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I placed the bottle beside her to show (and be able to remember one day) how tiny she really is!

Last ditch effort…

Am I a bad mom if I stuff my 4-month-old in a pea costume and go trick or treating the day after her heart catheterization…or better yet, all the while telling my 3-year-old about the gates of hell? Okay, I’ll have to say, Mary Clare did exceptionally well during and after her heart catheteriztion, so how was I to let her miss her very first holiday? And McCanless, being the ever inquisitive, and imaginative child that she is pushed me to explain more details than I originally planned. Let me explain…

As we were finishing up trick-or-treating, I had to pause and breathe, as I so often do with McCanless, and for the one hundredth time explain that she needed to say, “thank you” and at least LOOK at people when they gush over her and say how beautiful she is. Instead, she tends to get an attitude, brush them off and be the complete diva that she thinks she is. She was very impatient and quite rude to everyone offering unlimited Halloween treats to her. So, I thought it was a good idea to explain to her what I remember my mother explaining to us when we were young and being “difficult.” (I don’t think I was three, but drastic measures for drastic times.)

As Mel drove us out to Nonnie’s house, I sat in the back of the car in between my diva and the sleeping pea, and began. “McCanless, Mommy tells you to be a nice girl because God wants us to be kind.” Started off great! Yes, great idea, I thought! After about 5 minutes of my “please be a good girl” spill, she looks at me and asks, “Why can’t I be bad?” Hmmm…my mind racing, I started. “We’ll the devil makes us say and do things that we shouldn’t.” …and before I knew it and after a long drive of chatting away and looking in the rear view mirror at Mel’s grimacing and laughing face, I had done it. She asked and I told. Not once thinking about what I was saying to my THREE year old! She asked where the devil lives and I said, “hell.” She asked what the devil does with bad people and I told her he takes them to live with him. “Like jail?” she said. Wide eyed and more curious than anything, she kept asking and asking until I just told her not to worry about it. I know she could have listened to me chat about Dante’s Inferno at this point. So, I drew it to a close.

I always wondered why my mother always told us about the devil. In my teens, I thought it was such a cruel thing. As children, my siblings and I would even tease each other and throw out, “ooooh, you’re going to the devil” if one of us said or did something bad. I didn’t know if it was the fact that she (and we) grew up Baptist and that was just a Baptist thing, or she just wanted to scare us to death, in hopes of making us mind her.

Now I know. In a last ditch effort of turning our lives into something worthy, and in an attempt to create respectful children, she had to do it. It probably wasn’t when we were three, and I’m sure it wasn’t on a spooky Halloween night, but she explained it and I’m truly thankful because I know that I’m a better person because of it. Hopefully, I’ve done the right thing, and one day when she stops screaming at every cop that drives by, McCanless will know why I explained this to her. 😉

Girl’s Night Out

My sisters, my mom and I took McCanless to Disney’s Princesses on Ice show last Friday night, and to say McCanless was completely mesmerized would be an understatement. She sat entranced through the entire show only looking away once to ask me if it was almost over. (with a look on her face that was hoping and praying that it would last all night) She cried when it was over because she wanted to see it again. A true princess!

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Even before the show began while we waited in the ticket line, McCanless sat down and “read” through the program.

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Halloween 2007…

So, my princess and the pea plans didn’t work out as well as I had hoped. I should have known McCanless would change her mind. She only decided to do so around 6 p.m., and wanted to look EXACTLY like the Jamsine pictures she has, head piece and all, which had Mommy in a small panic for a few minutes. We found this “head piece” in her dress up trunk. It was actually a part of my baby sister’s Halloween costume when she was young. At least we now have a good reason for spending $90 on a costume when we wre in Disney this past Spring. (See, Daddy, I knew it would be worth it)

No, she isn’t a stripper….she is Jasmine, the Arabian Disney Princess, and no, I didn’t pose her for these! I told her to give me a Jasmine dance move, and this is what I got… (yikes) No more little bumble bees, no more fat pumpkins….So much for the cute little critter costumes of years past.

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I love my cute little Arabian Princess!

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Looks sweet, but she isn’t giving us a big hug. Mel was trying to take a photo of Mommy and Mary Clare, and you know who jumps in front of the camera and tries to block it. Looks as if Mary Clare is floating in mid-air, but Mommy has her!

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We ended up at Nonnies, for a quick costume change (into “jommies”) and hot dogs! What a fun Halloween!

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Had to post a picture of baby cousin, Reese! He was a Peacock! Too cute!

What a little trooper!

These were taken a bit before we left the cath lab, when we were on the way home. She did so well, just a little sleepy for most of the day.

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We’re Home!

Mary Clare’s catheterization went exceptionally well yesterday! So well, in fact, that by the time we were leaving for lunch around 1, they paged us from the lab to tell us she was in recovery!

They didn’t have to balloon her aorta or shunt, so it only took about 3 hours total! The echos usually overestimate measurements, so the catheter, which is a much more accurate reading, saw that the narrowing of her shunt is simply from her growth, and nothing significant at this point. The aorta looks fine now and they will continue to watch it. It may be that she will have to balloon it in the future, but now it isn’t necessary at all. They also told us that they “put in a surgical request” for her next surgery, the Glenn. It will be sometime within the next four weeks. We’ll find out next week.

When we went into recovery, she was sleeping. She was extubated, had an IV and a small O2 mask, and only her leads stuck to her chest (reading stats) That’s all! What a difference. I don’t know what we were expecting, but she looked great.

They discovered that blood flow to her lungs is a bit off, in layman’s terms. This is somewhat common in Hypoplastic babies, after the Noorwood. During her next surgery, Dr. Bradley will “patch” her pulmonary arteries to balance blood flow to her lungs. Currently, her right lung receives more blood, than her left. Nothing to worry about, they said. (Easier said than done!)

She also weighs about 12 lbs 10 oz, which is only about a 2 oz wieght gain in two weeks. This may be a result from her heart working a bit harder, as her shunt is getting tighter for her growing heart. She also expends more calories as she is breathing a bit harder from lower O2 levels. Again, all of this will be resolved after her second surgery.

Yesterday afternoon, she was a bit swollen and had bright red cheeks for several hours. She also had a newborn night last night (up every 2-3 hours eating) I guess she was catching up from yesterday! This morning, she is back to her usual self, smiling, laughing and cooing. She isn’t on any new meds, and only has a bandage aound her thigh. I’ll be able to remove it today. We just have to watch the hemotoma at her thigh!

On to better things…Like Halloween! Happy Halloween!

Catheterization update 12 p.m.

We have heard from the cath lab twice already but things seem to be going rather slowly. The last update was at 11:30, and they had gotten the lines ready and were about to begin to insert the catheter. They said she is doing well so far, so we’ll just keep waiting. I’m sure we’ll know soon if they will need to balloon her shunt and/or aorta. We’ll keep you posted.

Catheterization Day- 10:25 a.m.

After handing over Mary Clare to the anesthesiologist we are just now settling into the PC-ICU waiting room. She did exceptionally well, especially considering she hasn’t eaten now for almost 12 hours. She was smiling and cooing at everyone and was in such a great mood, which made it all the more difficult to send her back with them. All of the nurses were coming over to see her and kept telling us how beautiful she was, how healthy she looks and laughed at how much blonde hair she has! We just received a page from the Cath lab. She is now asleep and they are doing an echo before beginning the actual catheterization.

They explained that they will “gas” her first to get her drowsy, then place an IV. She has to be put under general anesthia because of the “repair” work that may be done, but hopefully they will be able to extubate her before we see her again. (remove the breathing tube) Once she is stable with the anesthesia, they will place a catheter in her femoral at her thigh. A typical catheterization usually takes around 3 hours, but if they “balloon” her shunt and/or aorta, it will take several more hours. Once they are in her heart, they will be able to determine exactly what needs to be done. They will page us with her progress as the day continues. I’ll keep you updated. Please pray that all goes well with our baby girl.

Happy Halloween 2007!

The Princess and the Pea…

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McCanless and Mary Clare were both sick this weekend and we missed out on so many Halloween events that were going on. So for fun, we got out Hallotween costumes a bit early and had our own party. I dressed the girls, popped popcorn and we all watched Halloween movies in costume, of course!

A pumpkin fit for a princess…

Mel isn’t thrilled to live in a house that boasts a princess castle jack-o-lantern on it’s porch, but I think he is coming around. (McCanless was really able to help out this year, so our castle is about two towers short, but we still think it is the most beautiful pumpkin in the neighborhood!)

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Just a quick update on scheduled catherization…

I just spoke to Frances, the nurse practitioner on 7C at MUSC. As it goes having a 3-year-old in preschool and with the onset of cooler weather, both of my girls are very congested. Mel took them to our pediatrician yesterday and both were sent home with instructions to have plenty of fluids, and McCanless given the old trusty Phenergan with Codine. (too bad it doesn’t make her drop like it does most kids…it does the opposite, imagine that-McCanless hyper)

Mel failed to mention to the dr. that McCanless has been running a fever and Mary Clare has had a runny nose for a few days, which miracously didn’t show at the dr. apt, of course. McCanless woke up in a puddle of sweat with 102.6 temp and Mary Clare sounds like a scuba diver as she breathes. Life with children….

My main concern is Mary Clare’s scheduled catherization on Tuesday morning. If she is too congested, they will have to postpone. After speaking to Frances this afternoon, we were encouraged to give her lots of fluids, and play the waiting game. Hopefully, she won’t get McCanless’ fever and this “funk” will clear up a bit by Tuesday. After the initial shock of having to get the catherization much sooner that anticipated, we are now mentally prepared and ready to get it behind us, so again, this is another mental blow.

She has gotten though open heart sugery like a champ, surely this cold won’t stop her! We’ll keep you posted!

The princess and the uhhh…vegetable?

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Okay, Mary Clare isn’t going to be a bunny for Halloween. This is just a picture of her in a coat that I found in our attic boutique…aka McCanless’ hand-me-downs. McCanless was born in January, and I didn’t take her out of the house until Spring, so, unfortunately, she was unable to wear so many of her newborn winter clothes. (She was probably too big for them anyway) Fortunately, however, Mary Clare is still tiny, so she fits into them nicely! This is an adorable coat we recently discovered!

Also, if you ask McCanless what she and her sister are going to be for Halloween,she will usually say she is going to be a: Princess Fairy, Cheerleader Princess, Dancer Angel Princess , Fairy Princess Cheerleader, etc.. etc.. you get the idea, and her sister is going to be a string bean or a vegetable. She never remembers.

BUT, like I have done the past couple of years, the costume McCanless chose several weeks ago, a glittery, fluffy, obnioxously pink princess dress and gold glitter shoes are tucked away, nicely hidden in Mommy’s closet. I knew if she had it before Halloween, it would look like all of her other costume dresses, torn and tattered from daily wear. She has completely forgotten about it. I can’t wait to see her face when I show it to show it to her tomorrow when I get it out for the THA Halloween carnival! She is going to be so excited, I’m sure! I also have a “real” tiarra, and matching jewels! She going to be a princess and Mary Clare a pea. My very own Princess and the Pea!

The root of all ADHD…

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Mary Clare got a new toy for her 4 month birthday!! McCanless had an exersaucer and it was bad enough, but now they have jumping exersaucers, and 30 from which to choose. You should have seen us in Wal-Mart trying to decide which one to buy! (McCanless definitely had her own agenda….she LOVED the pink one with dancing animals that was more like a walker.) I don’t want to risk Mary Clare’s physical health by allowing McCanless to cart her around the house in a walker just yet. I have almost had to ban McCanless from getting near Mary Clare in her swing. I think she tries to push her into orbit at warp speed.

With this new and improved Exersaucer, the babies not only get to swivel around and play with 500 flashing, sounding toys with lights and nursery tunes, they can now jump at the same time. She loves it! (Just as McCanless loved her exersaucer) Although we have it set on the smallest setting for the smallest baby, we still had to place a cushion under her so she could reach the “floor” to be able to bounce.

4-month-old McCanless and her Exersaucer in May 2004…

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Reality hit

Yesterday, I received a call from Dr. Forbes, Mary Clare’s cardiologist at MUSC. Her catherization has been scheduled for October 30, which is next Tuesday, one week away. I knew it was coming, but it just seems so soon. Apparently, he is pretty certain that her aorta will need to be “ballooned” and the sooner, the better. We will also have a better idea of how her heart is doing and will be able to schedule the 2nd surgery, the Glenn.

I know that the catherization is necessary and I know that it is really nothing compared to what she has already been through, and unfortunately, still to come. Still, it is all the more difficult as we have had such a wonderfully smooth “almost” 3 months home with her. She will be 4-months-old on October 27.

We will have to be at the hospital at 7 a.m. on Tuesday morning and must be prepared to stay overnight. She can’t have anything to eat after midnight. I’m not sure how I’m going to do that. She has done well on her feeding schedule, but still wakes at least once to eat, which is why I’m up writing at this crazy hour. (And she has quite a temper when she isn’t fed ASAP!) I was hoping to have a few more weeks to work on that. Nothing like a crash course!

She will go under general anesthesia for the procedure, which Dr. Bandisode at MUSC will be performing. As always, we’ll be right there in the PC-ICU waiting room with access to a computer, so we’ll be keeping the blog updated with results. (it does wonders when trying to keep busy)

I signed up to help with McCanless’ Halloween party at her preschool on Oct 30, the same day as Mary Clare’s catherization. That’s hard too. I know in comparison, it seems silly to worry about missing a school party vs. being at your baby girl’s heart catherization. But, when you realize how important these parties are in the mind of a three-year-old and how she has been so excited about it, it breaks my heart. The thought of having to leave her again, even for a couple of days, just kills me. She understands that Mary Clare is a little sick and her heart is “broken,” but she doesn’t understand why that takes us away from her. I know one day she will understand, but right now I know it is hard for her.

OKAY, on to good news…we’ll be one more heart procedure down by Halloween and closer to a healthier Mary Clare! We’ll quite possibly have her second surgery well before Christmas and will be home post- Glenn ready and waiting for Santa!! What a year it will have been, and what better way to celebrate Christmas? We are truly blessed and so thankful for such a wonderful year!

2007 State Fair

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Her Favorite!! I was a nervous wreck…she was kicking and twisting and throwing her head back. She even let go a few times! My little dare devil was not afraid at all!

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She and Daddy hit every fun house at least three times!

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She was so excited the entire time, and skipped EVERYWHERE we walked!

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Do you think we had enough to eat!?

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Another favorite of McCanless’ (Have you seen how tall these things are?) After all that food, this was not a good idea…(well, for Mommy it wasn’t)

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Time to go it alone! Fortunately, she is very tall and able to go on many of the rides alone. She wants to do everything “all by myself” these days. Not so fortunate for Mommy, who was having a bit of difficulty breathing as I watched my baby walk up those stairs alone. (or run rather)

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GAME TIME!

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Okay, so we’ll never see her winning the Darlington 500, but she did give it a try. She has never been a child who LOVED the little motorized cars much, just an occasional slow drive in her Princess car. She couldn’t quite figure out the steering, and she gave herself a bit of whip lash, so before the buzzer marked the end of time, dodging the mini cars, she quickly slipped by the Fair Ride Attendant, jumped the rail and abandoned her own bumper car.

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…and as if whip lash wasn’t enough, she now has a walnut size bruise on her chin. Obviously, Daddy’s wreckless driving and need to attack every kid on the bumber cars resulted in numerous “chin knocks” for McCanless. She may have been a bit too short for these bumber cars.

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…a little more sugar, anyone?

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Her very first real roller coaster.

By this point most of the good parents had left and probably tucked their kids into bed. Our little night owl was going strong. (the sugar probably had something to do with it) The good thing about it was she was able to walk up to any ride and jump right on with very little or no waiting at all. We also had the pay-one-price bands, so she rode everything at least a dozen times.

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So, the sugar really started to kick in around 9:30 pm…

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This was on top of the ferris wheel. I literally had to HOLD HER DOWN!

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In all of the excitement, we forgot to go see the animals before it was too late! McCanless was a little upset with us for not taking her to go see them. She didn’t want to leave at all!

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Mel and I had a nice, quiet ride home.

ALMOST Scary and Spooky Monsters…

McCanless loves to tell stories, and I’ve never been able to catch them on film until today…well, almost. Usually, she finishes her story before I get my camera, or she either completely stops talking and refuses to do anything because she knows I’m trying to “catch” it. This isn’t really an entire story because the one time she allows me to film, I run out of disc space! Still, you get the idea from this short piece.

My Girls…the drooler and the drama queen

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MUSC visit…

Mel, Mary Clare and I went to MUSC for a clinic visit yesterday, and although we heard good news about her health, we also realized that surgery is just around the corner. She is a whopping 12 lbs 8 oz and her blood pressures are good, however, her oxyen levels have dropped to the high 70’s. High 70’s is still okay for a heart baby, but this is a good indicator that the second surgery is quickly approaching and needed.

Her heart catherization was originally scheduled for November 13, but because her shunt is getting tight,her O2 levels have dropped and her aorta has narrowed, Dr. Forbes wants to definitely bump that up. We’ll find out the exact date on Monday. After the catherization, we’ll have a better idea of exactly what is going on in her little heart and when the surgery needs to be and, if necessary, do a bit of “repair” work. (possibly ballooning the aorta)

It all sounds a little scary, especially knowing surgery may be much sooner than we anticipated, but she looks great and is doing well. It’s easy to stay positive when you see Mary Clare and those chubby cheeks grinning so often. We know that her life depends on these surgeries, so we are just trusting God and the skill of the doctors to get us all through this.

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I’m pregnant again…

Not really, but I’m up all night, not sleeping well when I do, and for the better part of the day, I have a baby attached to me. Sweet Mary Clare has really been showing her true colors lately. She is still a “good baby, but her personality has altered ever so slightly.

I spoke too soon when I bragged that she began to sleep through the night! She was up every three hours last night, not to eat, though,….she was up to just stare in the night with her “raccoon eyes,” as Mel says. Looks like I have another night owl on my hands! (Hopefully that will change; I still have time.)

As I’m typing this, she is strapped to me in the BabyBjorn, quite early I might add. The BabyBjorn “fanny pack” is a true lifesaver. Gone are the days of placing her in the bouncy seat and just watching her smile and coo for hours. Gone are the days of laying her in her crib to happily gaze at her moblie and finding her peacefully sleeping. The child is going to have abs of steel soon because she literally lifts her back and head up (sit up syle) when we sit or lay her anywhere. She loves to be upright and looking all around.

We have already been up, had breakfast, been on a walk, had tummy time, and I even tried to get her to watch cartoons…and she is still not completely satisfied. Looks like I’m going to have to cut this short as well, as she is now bored with staring at the screen, swaying from side side and listening to me read aloud. One good thing about my new night owl infant, and I learned this from McCanless, they crash in early morning. After a morning of playing, she’ll be ready for an early nap!!!

But that isn’t where the new little personality quirks end. She becomes extremely frustrated and quite impatient when she is hungry. I guess that comes from three months of being stuffed every two hours. She expects to be fed ASAP. She doesn’t cry out, she grunts and arches and literally throws a fit, kicking and swaying her arms. She HATES her meds now. She used to love her lasix and now she gags and many times throws it up, again pitching a fit. She hates to nap/sleep/lay down, and fights it every step of the way….another fit.

But for every fit she throws throughout the day, she giggles even more. She laughs often, and smiles at everyone who looks her way. She is truly a happy baby! (just a happy baby who knows what she wants)

A Walk to the Pumpkin Patch…McCanless’ first field trip!

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Not only did she go on her first field trip, but she also realized she can swing ON HER OWN!!! No more pushing! We have been working on it forever, but she finally did it today! Up and back, up and back, up and back….I have probably repeated this ten thousand times!! I guess she just wanted to show off in front of her class.

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Sunday afternoon at Nonnie’s…

It’s rare, but we were all home this weekend to attend Ashland UMC’s homecoming. Not the church we grew up in, but when you are from Ashland, and are invited to a homecoming….you better go. These were taken at Nonnie’s house after the church service…

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Kacy and Mel being dorks…

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She can almost fit her entire fist in her mouth if she tries really hard!

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That’s Mel trying to hit my brother with a tennis ball…in Nonnie’s pumpkin patch. She planted 5 pumpkin seeds and now the vines have taken over half of the back yard. The woman can grow anything!

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One day she’ll take it seriously…hopefully

I just have to post this before I forget it…

Last night after reading two Olivia books, and two Fancy Nancy books (McCanless has a thing for book series) we began our usual night time prayers and endless list of “God Bless fill the blank.”

I let her start it and usually have to encourage her to pray for her family after she has “blessed” each and every school pal, neighbor of ours, pet in the yard, cars in the driveway, etc, etc. Last night, I was pleasantly surprised to hear her begin to pray for her family FIRST…and began to laugh as she added a bit of soul to her prayer…

God Bless Daddy, Mommy and Mary-Mary, Why Ya Buggin’….

Sleep!

Mary Clare has finally been sleeping through most of the night!! Last week she would sleep from about 7 pm , wake up around 1am to eat and then go right back to sleep until about 7am. This week she has been skipping that 1 am feeding!!! (I try to put her down a bit later to help) Now, she will go down in her crib around 8 pm and wake up STARVING around 4:30-5 am! Yes, sleep…finally! Although, I’ve been sleeping so hard now that it is more difficult to wake up! (I look like a zombie with my eyes almost swollen shut) My body is too used to sleeping for short increments, so I think it’s in shock!

They are both in their room, too, by the way. I put Mary Clare down in her crib first and get her to sleep, then I go in as usual and read McCanless a bedtime story (or ten) and she goes to bed. I never thought we would get to this point!

Go Red Foxes!

McCanless had so much fun at a Red Fox birthday party this weekend!

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How cute is this??

I know, I know…Mel will kill me, but the best part about being a mommy is that you get to play dress up for the rest of your life. (Well, until they are old enough to refuse.) The bow is a bit over the top, but it is an old one of McCanless’ and I couldn’t resist. Mary Clare has enough fuzz to hold it in!!!

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…and no, those aren’t real mary jane shoes on her, just socks that look like it! …and no she can’t sit up yet, she just loves to pull up and try. I just happened to snap the photo at a moment when she was trying to pull up. She is too cute!!

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Mommy wake up calls….

It is appropriate that I’m writing this at 6 am, as my wake-up call this morning was quite unusual and rather early. Typically, I’m woken up by Mary Clare’s “I’m hungry” grunts as she rolls, and twists, and roots for her passy until I stuff her with formula. And any mom will tell you that on any given night the cries of a sick child, screams during a thunderstorm, or flood of urine soaking your pants/shirt from the child sleeping beside you can abruptly ruin a nice slumber and happens quite often. Unfortunately, I was even told recently this may happen for YEARS. So, I’ve given up on sleep and I resort to updating my blog.

This morning a bittersweet awakening happened. I had been up a few times with Mary Clare, but to my pleasant surprise, McCanless made it through most of the night without waking. Most nights she will wake, sit up in bed and yell out one of the following: “I’m alone in here!” “Somebody come get me!” “I have to go TEE TEE!!!” or “I TOLD you to lay down with me last night!!” over and over until one of us goes to her. Or sometimes eerily resembling a “Child of the Corn ” she will slowly creep down the hall calling us to come to her.

This morning, however, between grunts around 5 am a tiny, cold, soapy-smelling hand was shoved into my face. “Look Mommy, I washed my hands.” With heavy, sleepy eyes, I proudly smiled and grabbed my McCanless and pulled her into bed with me. She had woken up, walked down the hall to the bathroom, went to the potty, AND washed her hands, not even once yelling for me or her daddy as she normally would. It has taken over three and a half long years, but I think she finally can make it through the night without me.

Mary Clare at 3 months!

I can’t believe Mary Clare is over three months now! She weighs 11 lbs and 10 oz!!! She is giggling out loud and smiles all the time and is such a happy baby. She is eating more and more everyday and gaining quickly! I think now her night time feedings are more of a habit, so I’m working on breaking her of those. I know the little turkey can go for longer than 3 or 4 hours because she did it on our drive to Charleston yesterday!! She ate at 4 am, and I planned on feeding her at 8 am just before we left for Charleston, and she refused to eat a drop! I knew I would have to pull over, but she slept the whole way and never fussed! Even when we arrived in Charleston she woke up, was quite content and smiled at one of her cardiologist that I saw in the hall on the way to her clinic office! She didn’t eat again until 10:30 am… that is 6 1/2 hours! So now I KNOW she can do it…the little stinker!

Our visit in Charleston yesterday was for her routine clinic visit and her kidney function study. All looks well with her kidneys!! She doesn’t have kidney reflux, which means that she will not have to take a daily antibiotic!! As far as everything else, it looks okay at this point, but she did have a bit of narrowing of her shunt and aorta simply because she is growing quickly. (Along with the heart reconstruction, her aorta was widened with the first surgery, the Norwood, and the shunt was placed to supply blood to her lungs) The shunt is made of synthetic material and therefore doesn’t grow as her heart grows, which is the reason for her second surgery, the Glenn, where the shunt will be removed and a bypass to her lungs will be created.

Although the shunt and aorta are narrowing, her blood pressures and O2 levels look fine. They will continue to monitor this at each clinic visit with MRIs and echo cardiograms. We may have to move up her cardio catherization and possibly her surgery. Currently the cath is scheduled for November 13, with surgery early December. The catherization will check her heart valves and pressures to be certain she is ready for her second surgery. We are told this surgery will not keep us in the hospital long if all goes well. Possibly as little as about 10 days!! Although I’m not looking forward to another surgery, I know she must have it to live. She is growing so well and looks great. We are so very blessed!

Another note on sweet Mary Clare. Up until this visit, her echos have been rather easy…she slept right through them. They are done in a warm dark navy blue room with the ultrasound machine humming in the background. The rooms are designed to make patients relax. (Mel also found it very relaxing, as he ALWAYS fell asleep when we were there this summer.) I can tell Mary Clare is getting older because it wasn’t quite as easy to keep her still. She babbled and hummed and kicked for a while. Then she laughed at the ultrasound tech, then she wiggled off of her pillow…got ultrasound goo all over herself and then she cried… we even had to re-do a few of the pictures. The ultrasound tech told me we may have to begin mild sedation meds for the next round of echos…which most kids end up having to take.

She was such a trooper though. She endured so much…we left the house at 8, vitals done at 10:30 clinic, blood drawn, echo cardiogram, RSV vaccine #1 of 6, cardiologist visit, catherization for kidney study THEN kidney study, Charleston traffic jam and flooding, terrible rain storm on the LONG way home, home at 5…and a partridge in a pear tree…what a day!

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Mary Clare loves sitting up now! If she is awake, she has to be upright looking around. She is so funny because she twists and jerks her head from side to side taking in everything.

My Big Girl…at 3 1/2 years old!!

McCanless is growing so quickly and I hate that I am unable to write each and everyday about all that she is saying and learning. I hope that I’ll always be able to remember her witty comments and most of our daily conversations about “life.” She is so curious and loves learning about everything. She continues to love reading and usually walks to the bed at night with a stack of at least 20 books ready for her bedtime stories. Right now she enjoys her Amelia Bedelia books. (Of course Fancy Nancy books and Pinkalicious are still on the top of her list.) She has such a strong personality and is still my “extreme” baby. It is all or nothing with her!!

Although she is growing by the second and at times seems more like a 5-year-old, she still has her “toddler” fits, loves to snuggle with Mommy when she is upset and still LOVES her silky. I will forever have her pictured my mind as a baby with her silky hanging out of her mouth. Her silky is out of sight when we are in public, but it never leaves her side at home.

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We are so ready for Halloween!!!



Good News…

Mary Clare now weighs 10 lbs and 14 oz!!! Our hospital stay upset her feeding schedule and she has still not gotten back on track. I was afraid that she had lost weight, so I was thrilled when I took her to our pediatrician this morning and realized that she has gained since we were at MUSC. She was 10 lbs 8 oz there last week. She is back to feeding about every three hours even at night, but at least she is gaining weight!! She still struggles to eat and only takes in about 2-3 oz at a time, but we are working on it!

McCanless is writing…

McCanless is working on writing her name at school a bit and hopefully will master it by Christmas, but for now when you give her a blank sheet of paper and ask her to write it, she produces the following…

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Of course, it is easier to write Daddy’s name, so Mel gave her a sheet of paper with his name printed on it and asked her to copy it. She did a pretty good job on it…
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She is also beginning to add details to her drawings…

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(Click on images to enlarge)

Just a walk in the park….a typical day in our house.

Lately, Mel and I have realized that it takes McCanless FOREVER to do anything. Not that she is slow, she just finds other things to do along her way. Before taking a walk recently, she had to change clothes, something she finds necessary with every new activity. I allow her to dress herself when she isn’t going to church or school. Everywhere else is usually fair game. With Mary Clare strapped in my “baby back pack” as McCanless calls it, I went outside to water plants while I waited on McCanless to dress for our walk. This was her the first time I checked in on her…

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This photo doesn’t show the heels she had on previously. I told her I refused to allow her to wear heels to take a walk. (Last week I allowed her to wear her life vest for our walk and in hopes of not seeing anyone, we ran into half of our neighborhood. Today, I was NOT having to explain this one.) So after begging to to just PUT ON SOMETHING…she told me she had to change because she couldn’t wear her heels. Obviously this meant her outfit wouldn’t work. (I should have known…nothing is easy with her) This was outfit #2 that she was still not completely satisfied with…

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By this point I had already put Mary Clare in her swing, unsuccessfully tried to straighten the playroom and had started on kitchen chores. I thought instead of rushing her as we usually do, I would see just how long it would take her to get ready for that walk. I suggested the walk around 2:30. When Mel walked in the door around 6:00 PM that evening, she was still in the playroom rummaging through her dress up trunk looking for that perfect ensemble.

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Doing Well…

We were able to come home on Tuesday afternoon! (Mel has been working on my blog and I haven’t been able to post…we are still “tweeking” it and working on the design)

Mary Clare had a UTI and was on two nights of IV antibiotics at MUSC, and is now on a daily antibiotic until her kidney study, which will be at our next clinic visit. On Tuesday we were able to snap a few pictures of Mary Clare and her HLHS friend, Emerson! I spoke to Erica, Emerson’s mom, this morning and she is doing well! Erica is tired, as any new mom is, but is so glad to be home.

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Heading home…hopefully!

We are currently waiting on “rounds” so the doctors can officially tell us we can go home. The nurse practitioner has told us we are “probably” going home (and she is really the boss on this floor) so, we probably will. Mary Clare has been doing well today and has not had a fever in about 24 hours. Emerson’s mom just dropped by and they are packing up and heading back to Augusta today!! I’m so happy for them. I know they are ready! I hope to be able to snap a picture of the girls together before they leave.

Mel has been trying to update the blog, so excuse the current design..or lack thereof. We are trying to incorporate Mary Clare’s name in the design. I’m playing with the comment feature and hopefully will be able to accept your comments soon…maybe after a confirmation.

Good News, Bad News…

Good news…Mommy and Mary Clare don’t have to travel back to Charleston this Wednesday for clinic….

Bad news…we are already here!

Mary Clare gave us a big scare yesterday, but is doing well today!! After taking her to see the pediatrician on call in Hartsville, we all decided it was best to go straight to MUSC yesterday. Mary Clare just wasn’t herself, and began to grunt with each breath, usually a sure sign of breathing difficulty. However, we do have a grunter on our hands, so thankfully, her breathing is okay.

She was uncomfortable because of a high fever and urinary tract infection. We were admitted to 7C last night around 7PM, an IV was started in her tiny foot and after a night of antibiotics and fluids, Mary Clare is back to her wonderfully sweet nature. To be safe the cardiologists did an EKG, and chest X-ray, and we are still waiting on a bit of blood work to return to rule out any other possible infections. (ie possible viruses from her big sister)

Mary Clare is such a champ and has enjoyed visiting with her nurses. She especially loves the mobile that was placed over her bed. (Last time we were here, she wasn’t really focusing on it) She feels at home because we are in the same room we were in last time!!

Hopefully, after another night of IV antibiotics, we will be able to go home tomorrow, if all is well. They do want to do a study of her kidney function. She may have reflux of her kidneys, which would be the reason for the UTI. If that is the case, she will only have to have a daily antibiotic.

Her heart is great, and that is a huge relief! Also, more good news…our HLHS friend Emerson is going home tomorrow! It was great visiting with her and her mommy, but we both agreed that we hate it has to be up here!!

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Update on Mary Clare….10 weeks old

Mary Clare is eating more and more each day!! She is still only up to around 3 ounces at each feeding and eats around every 3 hours. (A “normal heart” baby would be somewhere between 4-6 ounces at this point)

She IS growing though! At a whopping 10 lbs and 6 ounces, she is now the weight of my baby sister, Kate, at birth! (I’m looking forward to the day she is my brother’s birth weight, which was around 13 lbs!) She still wakes at least once during the night between 10PM and 7AM, but that sure is better than her previous every two hour schedule.

She is a very happy baby, and smiles often. She is such a good baby and I swear if she makes it through “baby hood” with McCanless (and so far she is a champ) she can make it through ANYTHING! McCanless loves her dearly, but is a bit rough with her….and loud…and a bit hands on too much sometimes….and still requires a lot of “McCanless time.” Mary Clare can sleep through anything and is a patient baby; something I’m really not used to! McCanless was a bit difficult as an infant, if you can believe that.

My girls are so sweet together and I love watching them interact. I’m so happy for them and so glad that they have each other!

Baby Emerson update…

Some of you have been asking about baby Emerson and she is doing well right now. She and her mom have been at MUSC for 25 days now. Our total stay was around 27 days. She has moved up to 7C, which is the recovery unit for heart babies. Now her biggest hurdle will be the feeding. It is probably the most frustrating time because you know that going home is just around the corner, but still so uncertain. The babies seem to do so well one minute, but struggle so hard the next.

Mary Clare and I will travel back down to MUSC for a check up on Wednesday. Hopefully, Emerson and her Mommy won’t be there for our visit, but if they are I hope to be able to take a few pictures of our miracle babies together. As I have told Emerson’s Mommy numerous times, I hope one day they will be the best of friends and be able to chat about their heart surgeries and how they “knew” each other before they were born.

A little won’t hurt, right?

Remind me to never leave a 3 1/2 year old on the bed with a 2 1/2 month old…well, at least with breakfast sausage nearby.

For a treat on her first day of 3K, I decide to carry McCanless to Mommy’s bed, allow her to watch cartoons and feed her a big breakfast in bed…sounds like an extra special treat and it is…the breakfast part, anyway. She usually has a Poptart, or cereal on Mommy’s bed watching cartoons. (I know, I know, she is still the princess around here) BUT, for the very first day of school, Mommy went all out and served scrambled eggs and link sausage.

All was well, McCanless was happily eating, Mary Clare was sitting, chewing on her passy, so I ran to the kitchen to throw in a load of laundry. Back in my bedroom about 2 minutes later, I leaned over to kiss Mary Clare and noticed a familiar scent.

“McCanless, did you give Mary Clare sausage?”

McCanless sitting entranced by Dora the Explorer, and not skipping a beat told me quite frankly, “NO MOM, I tried to give her a taste, but she only sucked on it.”

Interesting information on CHD…

I found this on a well-sourced, hospital sponsored website….

What is CHD?

* CHD (Congenital Heart Defect) is a structural problem with a baby’s
heart that is present at birth.

* CHD is the #1 birth defect in the U.S. and the #1 cause of birth-related infant deaths.

* 1 in every 100 babies is born with CHD. Of those, 1 in 10 is born with a fatal defect.

* Approximately 1 million American children and adults with CHD and childhood onset heart disease are alive today.

* Nearly twice as many children die from CHD in the U.S. each year than from all forms of childhood cancers combined.

* Funding for pediatric cancer research is 5 times higher than for CHD.

* In the last 25 years, advances in treatment of CHD have enabled half a million U.S. children with significant heart defects to survive into adulthood.

Week two of 3K=Happier McCanless=Happy Mornings at the Penningtons

This was Monday morning….a much happier McCanless after I allowed her to dress herself and choose her “ensemble” and hair style.

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This was today when I picked up McCanless at school. She loves showing me her work…

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Her “self portrait”…

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The “homework” board…(and I’ll have to admit, her star is one of the brightest!)

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A painting of a “school friend”…

McCanless’ is the fourth from of the left (the Mr. Potato Head looking drawing with the big eyes) It is a painting of Lakyn. The painting on the left of hers is the painting OF her by Lakyn.

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Mary Clare’s 1st pair of shoes…

I did this for McCanless, so I knew I’d hear about it later if I didn’t show off Mary Clare’s 1st pair of shoes…

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Cousin Reese…

We visited baby cousin Reese this week!

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Mary Clare is now 9 weeks old and Reese is 3 weeks old.

I am thankful..

Tonight I am reminded yet again of how fortunate we are.

Baby Emerson, our sweet HLHS baby friend is in PCICU again after a few set backs. She is stable tonight and is doing better, but her parents definitely have had a scary few days and moved from 7C back to PCICU. She is on a vent and has been paralyzed. My heart aches as I remember when our Mary Clare was also lying still paralyzed and on a vent in the ICU infant bed.

Everyday, I thank God we have our Mary Clare and are amazed at her strength and sweet nature. I think of everything she has endured and survived. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of what she has overcome. She is a miracle and a true blessing, and for that I am so thankful.

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SMILES…

McCanless rarely smiles for the camera, but today she was so excited about the “apple” cupcakes we made for her class, she was all grins and giggles!

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After a quick change…(a girl can’t decorate in flour/batter/oil soaked clothes..BUT she can decorate in panties)

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I’m no Martha Stewart, but I thought these were pretty cute…until Mel asked what the brown thing was on our pink cupcakes, and why we put gummy worms on them. Stems, Mel, stems!!!

Mary Clare 9 week update…

Mary Clare and I hit the road again yesterday for another check up at MUSC. She had an echo cardiogram, and a few new tests to check out her heart. All looks well and she was 9 lbs 13 oz, which is great. She is still below average for a “normal baby” but right on target for a “heart baby.” So we are truly thankful for that. She certainly looks healthy! Those cheeks are still so chubby!

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We also had a chance to visit with Emerson, her friend who also has HLHS. Emerson is up on 7C and doing well at this point. She and her family are on the road home! Once Emerson is consuming enough calories on her own she can go home!!! It was so funny how quickly I jumped right back into the swing of things up there. Emerson’s family had just moved up there from PCICU when Mary Clare and I arrived, so they were a bit unfamiliar with the routine. I felt as if I had never left. They will learn quickly how life is on 7C! Please continue to keep them in your prayers, as we certainly will.

Mary Clare’s percentiles(on a normal baby chart) at the time of her well-check up last week here in Hartsville:

Head Circumference: 14 1/2″ 10%
Length: 22.5″ 25%- 50%
Weight: 9 lbs 11oz 10-20%

The cardiologists tell me that she is doing well and not to worry that I should remember her (now one) ventricle is working for two, which burns twice the calories. (We all have two ventricles doing what her one does, which is why most “heart babies” are smaller….their little bodies burn much more calories)

So Unpredictable…

McCanless was so ready for her first day of school, but when that day arrived, her tune changed just a bit.

These were taken after a struggle to get her to wear this dress. I don’t think she’ll be wearing smocked dresses to school again, but I was determined that she would wear it on the first day of 3K. (Although I really don’t get this..on Sundays she has no problem with them!)She may look 5 and act 15, but she is only THREE, and today (if never again) she WAS wearing a smocked dress!! Don’t let that face fool you…she wasn’t sad, she was angry. This is just an attempt to get out of that dress.

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We did make a compromise, however, she would wear the dress if I allowed the bell. (around her neck) Apparently, there is some princess that wears a bell necklace around her neck. (although, I have to wonder if it is as big as a cow bell like McCanless’!!??)

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“Okay, McCanless, let’s go..” was all I said. And SHE’S OFF…

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If I could have only caught her at this point…(yes, that is an ugly face directed right at me)

McCanless’ first Homework Assignment

Okay, so here it is…

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I tried not to be too involved, so I worked on it a tiny bit before I let her go…We talked about what to write on it and she wanted to mention her silky, music, dressing up and her birthday (she swears to everyone that she is four and in 4K). We decided to use princess, butterfly and snowflake stickers and paint pens. She placed the stickers, and “drew her letters” on it too, as she would say…in about 5 minutes and was done.

My beautifully strategically placed photos were ruined in a few seconds. Oh well, she told me her teacher pulled it out of her folder and told her it was so very, very beautiful. The smile on her face was worth my extreme effort of holding back as she “worked” on her homework all by herself!

Mimi’s visit!!

Mimi brought McCanless back to Hartsville this weekend and stayed with us for a few days! We always have so much fun with Mimi! (Nonnie visited while Mimi was here too)

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Sweet Mary Clare…

Great news again…Mary Clare had a check up this week and continues to gain weight! She is now up to 9 lbs 11 oz!!! She even slept through the night last week from about 10PM-5AM!! Immunizations the following morning screwed that up, however. I’m hoping once the soreness wears off, she will sleep soundly again. She is so sweet and such a good baby. We love her dearly and continue to be so thankful for every passing moment!

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Baby girl does not like her car seat! Too bad for both of us… those MUSC trips are every other week!

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This is how she sleeps most of the time with her arms stretched out.

Quiet around here…and homework

I met Mimi half-way to Hilton Head Thursday night to drop off McCanless, so it is definitely quiet around here! McCanless starts 3K on Tuesday, so this is her last summer hurrah!

We had open house at her preschool last week, and I knew she was ready for school…almost as much as I am, but she completely screamed and pitched a fit when we had to LEAVE. Most of the kids were stuck to their moms legs and didn’t want to even look at the teacher. Not McCanless. I was a bit embarrassed and just smiled as she screamed, “I don’t want to go home with you, Mommy!” What do you say to that?

Although I’m very excited about her class this year, she already has homework! Yup, I got used to the monstrous supply list last year before the first day of 2K, so I’m okay with that this year, but HOMEWORK in 3K?! We’re talking about 3K here! I barely gave homework to my middle schoolers!!

Secretly, however, I’m thrilled. We were given a yellow star and “McCanless” is supposed to decorate it, BUT it must reflect her interests…okay, the kids are only three, the teacher KNOWS moms will help a bit, right?

I know, I know… as a teacher I even cringe at hearing myself. How many times did I fuss and complain when I knew parents did work for my students??! Mel suggests that I cut out my own star and decorate it. We already have a truck load of glitter, paint, beads, “AQUA DOTZ” and various other crafting supplies from my efforts to keep her out of trouble and myself sane this summer, so I think I’ll just get it all out and let her go…I’ll post a picture of her first attempt at homework.

In the meantime, below is a video of my little Rock Star on her play room “stage” jammin’ with her friend Lakyn, who had to come home with us after Open House just to keep McCanless from a deep depression. Bribery is sometimes the only way…what could I do? I was carrying Mary Clare in her carrier, had 20 papers to take home and dragging McCanless by her ankles as she scratched and pawed at the carpet was out of the question.

McCanless is on the left in the pink/green fairy costume…and with the guitar pose at the end! Rock on, Cannie!

Please say a quick prayer…

A dear friend of mine is sitting in the PC-ICU at MUSC at this very moment going through exactly what we went through only 8 weeks ago. We became friends as she discovered her daughter has HLHS and a mutual friend connected us. She is from Augusta and traveled to MUSC to have her daughter and have the same doctor operate on little Emerson.

We were so blessed to have each other to lean on throughout our pregnancies and I can only hope that I have somewhat helped her as she is going through this trying time in the hospital. It is something that no one can prepare you for, but knowing someone has also been in your place helps.

Little Emerson is out of surgery and seems to be doing well at this time. The next 48 hours are very crucial.

At times it is difficult for me to talk to her and read her blog because I know exactly what she is talking about and exactly what she is going through. It takes me right back there and only reminds me that Mary Clare will be there again in December. Please continue to pray for us and little Emerson. This is such a difficult diagnosis and we aren’t the only parents going through it.

We know one day our little Mary Clare and Emerson will be great friends. We can’t wait for them to meet!

Baby Mary Clare 8 weeks old…

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Mary Clare in the christening gown…and if you look very closely, you can see Mel’s baby cross necklace shining.

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…and McCanless, too!

Steve Roos in Hartsville took these AMAZING photos! Thanks, Steve! Great work, as usual!!

Gamecock Club Football Season Kick-off!!!

McCanless and Daddy went to the USC Gamecock Club of Darlington County season kick-off celebration again this year. We can’t wait until the first game!!
Go Cocks!

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Nice looking Stadium Pants, Dad!

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Yes, Hartsville has a Rodeo!!

Mel and McCanless went to the Antioch Rodeo last night! (I decided it probably wasn’t best for Mary Clare to go just yet, maybe next year.) It isn’t quite as fancy as the Texas rodeo my friend Lauren just posted on her website with a mechanical bull for the kiddies and all, but it will do for Hartsville. They make our kids chase a sheep with a pink ribbon tied to it’s rear end. The first kid to grab the ribbon, gets a free beer…just kidding, I think Mel said the kid got $10.00.

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Wonderful news…

Today McCanless and I took Mary Clare to have her portrait made with Steve Roos. In the midst of washing our christening gown, finding Mel’s baby cross that McCanless wore on her baptism day and preparing for the photo shoot, I realized that we haven’t spread the wonderful news on-line of Mary Clare’s baptism.

She was baptized by our rector and pastor at St. Bartholomew’s, Father Michael Ridgill at MUSC on July 1st, the day before her first surgery. Mel and I both felt strongly about baptizing her before her surgery and Father Michael was kind enough to travel down to Charleston for us for that special day. (We are also extremely grateful for his weekly visits to be with us, pray with us, and offer communion during our entire stay in Charleston.)

While standing in the huge open PCICU, with monitoring beeps sounding, other “heart babies” all around and nurses passing by, our sweet Mary Clare lay paralyzed with IV lines and tubes encompassing her tiny body. Father Michael said very few precious words and quietly baptized her with water simply given to us by the PCICU desk staff in a styrofoam cup. It wasn’t glamorous, she wasn’t draped in a long white christening gown, we didn’t have family and friends surrounding us, only the two of us with Mary Clare. It was, however, a calm peaceful moment that left us feeling uplifted and extremely hopeful.

I’m hoping we will soon have some sort of celebration for her baptism, as we did for McCanless, to officially mark this monumental occasion. We certainly have such reason to celebrate!

Not alone!!

Mel and I both discovered early on in our HLHS journey that you can research the internet too much…way too much. When we first learned of Mary Clare’s CHD (Congenital Heart Disease) we did just that, way too much web-surfing on the matter. It was overwhelming, upsetting, and very frightening. Most information on HLHS, in specific, is very discouraging and we now know that much of what is out there is inaccurate.

For the most part, I don’t research HLHS anymore…Mel and I both had a crash course while we were in Charleston and I think we both learned way more about HLHS, the heart and heart surgery than we even wanted to know, but it can be a source of comfort/support to learn about other children facing the same struggles as our sweet Mary Clare.

I found the greatest website that supports CHD and is raising awareness. A friend (I met at MUSC who also has a baby with a CHD) sent me a link and told me that she knew the little boy whose photo is on the home page. He has HLHS. It displays a photo of him at 12 months and then 10 years later!

It’s pretty amazing to read the stories of these children and see that they are leading “normal” lives and doing great! (Go to “Stories” section from top menu bar) Maybe one day when we are in the clear and after her third surgery, I’ll post Mary Clare’s story!

Go to www.little hearts.net

Just the two of us…

Mary Clare and I packed up and hit the road again yesterday for a check-up at MUSC. I think I’ve finally mastered the road trip with a newborn. PLANNING makes all the difference, and a quality 30 minutes of feeding, changing, entertaining and baby stretches in the car PARKED in the garage prior to departure helps too!

Good news! Mary Clare is now a healthy 9 lbs 2 oz and doing great! We return for an echo and ekg in 2 weeks. (As usual) She also has to have another hearing test.?? For some reason, babies on heart/lung bypass machines are required by DHEC to have a specific round of hearing tests over the course of the first year??!! Her hearing was tested in the hospital before she was discharged and everything was fine. However, I question the results when she peacefully sleeps for hours while McCanless sings at the top of her lungs, screams, barrels through the house, etc., etc everyday.

Mary Clare is eating a tiny bit more, but what I’ve noticed lately is how much more aggressively she is eating. Those typical baby grunts and gulps are great to finally hear!

The Ballerina Movie

Here is McCanless, my little drama queen acting in a “movie.” Not sure what kind of movie stars a dancing ballerina passing out and being thrown into a trash can??! (I swear I monitor and limit her television viewing)

No Swimmies!!

I was finally able to see McCanless swim without her swimmies this weekend. We were in Charleston when she learned how to swim this summer, and I haven’t had a chance to see it yet. Here she is, my little fish! It amazes me how confident she is in the water. She even loves swimming in the deep end! Which happens to be the entire pool, but she insists on going beyond the red rope to the, “real deep end.”

Mary Clare…7 weeks old

Mary Clare loves staring at the fan and will even smile at it. It is so funny to watch her. She will stretch, and arch and tilt her head to see it.

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Apparently, McCanless loved the fan too! This is her at 2 months.

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This is a funny photo. It was just before she sneezed…I wanted to show how well she is holding up her head. She is growing so quickly and getting so strong!

She has no hope…

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This was in the play room…I walked into the kitchen, which is connected to our play room, only to return a minute later to Princess Mary Clare. (McCanless works fast) McCanless was the queen, of course. I just hope Mary Clare doesn’t have to play Cinderella any time soon.

Just too funny…

You all have seen pictures of McCanless and her beautiful smile, albeit “perfectly imperfect” with her spacious pearlies. I overheard McCanless telling my sister that the tooth fairy was going to leave money for her soon. When my sister asked her which tooth she lost, McCanless pointed to the gap between her two front teeth.

Literally speaking…

I know this age is such a time of exploration and testing boundaries. (and McCanless has mastered the art of testing boundaries to the max) I even mentioned to Mel tonight, how is it that I can be so angry with her one minute and absolutely melt the next. She can be so very, very sweet, then so very, very….ummm, well not so sweet. I also laugh so often at her comments. I have to hide my laughter though because she gets so frustrated with me or embarrassed if I, or anyone else for that matter, laughs at her.

Yesterday morning we were painting. She is really into mixing paint colors to create new colors. I was showing her how to mix white and red to make different shades of pink. (Because all of her paintings consist of ONLY pink and purple these days, I thought I’d show her a few variations of the two.) I told her I was creating baby pink. She looked at me and mixed a darker shade and called it, “Big Girl Pink.” I wonder why we don’t have a Big Girl Pink.

Today was Mary Clare’s first Sunday at church. She did wonderfully and slept through most of it; McCanless did okay, but would have done better if Father Michael had told a fairy tale. McCanless was a bit bored and dancing around, stacking Bibles, singing to herself, drawing, etc., and I had no idea she was somewhat listening until she looked up at me wide-eyed and said, “Is he going to tell us about a princess too?” I was confused until I realized that Father Michael had mentioned Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

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Mary Clare’s first church outing! (This was taken after church, so McCanless’ hair is a bit out of place and Mary Clare is sleeping, of course)

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Not a great picture of me…I really am happy to be holding my baby girl, I promise! I was kissing her, trying to get her to wake up and open her eyes.

McCanless took it after church today, and it was the only one with my head in the picture, so I thought I’d post it. (Also, because I have very few pictures of me with my girls! I’m usually behind the camera!) Unfortunately, Daddy was working.

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McCanless painting, one of her most favorite things to do.

So serious…

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Sometimes, even in her sleep, Mary Clare seems so serious. (Already so unlike her sister!!) She even has tiny little forehead wrinkles! She smiles often, usually at me or McCanless, but most of the time she has such a serious look on her face.

She is beginning to get very bored just lying on her back. She loves to be upright and looking around. She is so funny to watch as she tilts and turns her head. She seems to be so curious and interested in her surroundings; and with that look on her face, she seems to be trying to figure it all out. (Now this reminds me so much of McCanless…hmmm, if I do have another McCanless on my hands, maybe by the time Mary Clare is three, I’ll have it all figured out.)

Good News!! Today, Mary Clare weighs 8 lbs, 14 oz!! Although she is still eating a relatively small amount, (still around 2 oz per feeding, if we are lucky) she is slowly gaining and not losing, which is great! I can tell now that she is eager for next meals and eats a bit faster. Hopefully soon, she will increase her amounts. We are letting her sleep at night and wake us (me) up to feed her. Last night she even had a four hour stretch. I haven’t slept for four straight hours in quite a while. It was nice.

We have another check-up in Charleston next Wednesday. Things are going smoothly, and hopefully will continue to do so.

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Okay, so I’m working on it…

I figure the best way to get McCanless to allow me to take photos of her is to just show her how she looks when I try. (Hasn’t worked yet) These are the faces I usually get.

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I guess it seems that most posts of McCanless lately have been, well, not so flattering of her personality, I guess I should say. (or rather, our parenting skills)

McCanless is growing up before our eyes and is so much fun to have around. We never know what she is going to say and she is so full of personality. She already has a great sense of humor.

I call her my extreme baby. She is extremely independent, extremely confident, extremely herself. She is either over the top giddy or overly, dramatically, the ‘world will end’ sad. Very, very good or very, very bad. She is very smart and very sneaky…not always a great combination.

We love our “big girl” so very much and are so proud of her! We wouldn’t want her any other way!

Mary Clare’s first “laugh”

Mary Clare has been smiling so much lately, and even has been “laughing.” It isn’t quite an audible laugh, but as you can see in this photo, it is as close to a chuckle as an infant can get. She loves to watch McCanless. In this photo, they are playing peek-a-boo.

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“Isn’t she adorable”

Yes, that is McCanless saying, “Isn’t she adorable.” My little mini grown-up!

Mary Clare…4 weeks old 2007

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McCanless…4 weeks old 2004

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Welcome baby cousin, Reese!

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Michael and Michael had baby Reese this morning! He weighed 5 lbs, 11 oz and was 19 1/2 inches. Happy Birthday, Reese!

I found these pictures…

Many people still ask me about Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), and I found these illustrations, which seem to be some of the easiest to follow.

Normal Heart…

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HLHS Heart…

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The Norwood procedure, which Mary Clare has already had…(first surgery in a series of three)

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The only slight difference (see below) is that Mary Clare has a different shunt, called the Sano shunt instead of the Blalock-Taussig Shunt. It performs the same function, only in a different way. (an alternate route)

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…and because I have had a friend to ask. No, Mary Clare was not named after the shunt, Blalock-Taussig. We decided on her middle name, Blaylock before we even heard of the shunt. It is a name in Mel’s family that he has always loved. 🙂

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Mary Clare is awake so much more now and I was finally able to catch a smile on my camera. I know they are a bit blurry, but its hard to try to make a baby smile and operate a camera at the same time!

Rare Bliss..

Although McCanless has given up her naps for the most part, this was a day when both girls crashed simultaneously, which was heaven.

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Don’t worry, I was on the bed with them, but I had to capture this moment before I moved Mary Clare to her crib.

Mary Clare’s check up…

Mary Clare and I ventured to Charleston alone for her check-up today. We both did well, aside from having to pull over on the side of the road about a dozen times. I was only about 20 minutes late to our apt. I’ll have to plan her eating schedule a bit better next time!

She now weighs 8 lbs 3 oz and is 20 inches long, and her heart looks great! She is growing!! I was a bit nervous about her weight gain because she continues to struggle a bit with her eating. She is now up to about 1 1/2-2 oz every 2-3 hours, so we are slowing gaining volume, and the cardiologists say that this is “normal” for heart babies.

I keep reminding myself not to compare her to our McCanless. At this point McCanless was a healthy 12+ lbs. She has always and continues to be over 95th percentile in height, weight and head circumference. Hopefully, Mary Clare will catch up soon. She is still on her lasix twice a day and once daily Baby Aspirin, but other than that, she is just like a normal 6-week-old, sleeping, crying, fussing, and waking to “play” in the middle of the night.

McCanless is such a wonderful big sister. She has taken on a very nurturing role. She really does help me out with Mary Clare, but also knows her boundaries, without even being told or reminded. She seems like such a big girl now, which is bittersweet.

I am so happy for the two of them. I know how wonderful it is to have sisters and I know some day they will be the best of friends as my sisters and I are.

Some things never change…

Mel on Daddy Duty 2007…

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Mel on Daddy Duty 2004…

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Enough with the camera!

I’m not proud of this, especially since it is the first video on the blog, however it is too funny not to post. McCanless did get in a bit of trouble for this, but I should have known better. She really hates it when I take too many pictures!! This proves it!

My not-so-sweet “Fancy Nancy!”

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This was moments before…as “Fancy Nancy,” a character in one of her favorite book series. (My SWEET little Fancy Nancy) McCanless continues to dress up almost every day. She has a huge dress up trunk, a basket of hats, a basket of accessories, and lots of “jewels,” as she says, in her jewelry box. She loves to dress up and surprise us with a new ensemble.

McCanless is also obsessed with dancing these days. She loves ballet and has even begun watching the Nutcracker, Swan Lake, etc…all Barbie movies, of course.

This week as I was in the attic packing away clothes, she joined me and began plundering through the Christmas boxes. I nearly fell out of the attic door as I heard her scream and excitedly yell, “I FOUND HIM.” She was referring to her prince, the nutcracker. We now have every nutcracker we own in the playroom, because they just might “wake up and be a real prince.” …if anyone knows of a drama camp, please let me know!

So happy to be home!!

We had a great check-up yesterday! Mary Clare weights 7 lbs 11 oz, and counting!! She is a bit behind because she wasn’t given much caloric nutrition while in PCICU, only nutrients. So now that she is finally able to consume calories, she is steadily increasing her volume each and every day! She is now up to an ounce every 2-3 hours!

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Well usually happy!! Sometimes McCanless would rather we not take so many pictures of her baby sister…

Wish us luck…

We have our first official check up with our cardiologist, Dr. Forbes, tomorrow in Charleston. If all is well and Mary Clare is gaining weight or at least maintaining, we will be okay for another couple of weeks. Mel, as exciting as it was to post that we were home, left out a few details that many people have been asking about.

We were able to come home, thank goodness, but only after Mary Clare was successful at intaking 130 Kcals/day. Unfortunately, I can no longer offer her breast milk. After blood work and a “poop” study, we discovered that Mary Clare has a milk protein allergy. (Did Mel mention to you all that about 2 weeks ago I tried to explain to our doctors that McCanless had the same allergy??) McCanless outgrew hers, so hopefully Mary Clare will too.

We were able to bypass experimenting with various formulas and go straight to the Nutramigen, which Mel calls “liquid gold.” It is a hypoallergenic non milk/non-lactose/non dairy/ non-anything formula that babies with this allergy must have. (McCanless was on it, too) Not sure what is in it, but for my girls it is worth every ounce of gold!

Mary Clare is still struggling to eat as much as a “non-heart” baby at this point, but everyday she is getting stronger and eating a bit more! (I think anyone would after heart surgery, right?) She is so beautiful and we are so glad to be home. Her big sister loves having her home and has few momentary “only child” break downs.

We will continue to have scheduled visits for check-ups, and if all goes well, they will only be 2-3 weeks apart until her next procedure. She has a heart catherization scheduled for November 13 and her second surgery, the Glenn, will be shortly after that. The cardiologists say that the second surgery isn’t quite as extensive and her stay in the hospital will be a bit shorter.

I’ll keep you posted on tomorrow’s check up! (and post pictures soon of big sister and baby girl)

Surprise!!

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Home at last

Surprise! We were let out of the hospital with last minute notice today. This came as such a surprise, so we decided to let everyone know at the same time.

So, it ends – For now at least.

Mary Clare’s First Bath!! (first real bath, anyway)

Our little princess has been getting sponge baths often, but today was a big day for her…she had her feeding tube removed AND she had a big girl bath! Ideally, we would have loved to have had her at home, in her new little baby tub with the video camera out and all, but we’ll have to settle for her new pink MUSC basin for now!

So here is our baby girl making her bathing debut…

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The Long Road Home

Every cardiologist in this place has one central problem. They all begin sentences with the word “So.” “So, the Norwood procedure…”

It is almost a way of saying, “Hello, my name is Dr. Atz (A new friend who we call Andy) and I wanted to spend a little time talking with you… (you get the point.)”

At any rate, my wife and I now begin every sentence with the same word. We do this subconciously and it has become a harder habbit to break than quitting smoking. In like manner, I’ll begin our news of the last 24 hours as would any good cardiologist.

So, we have been trying to figure out how to make this beautiful little girl consume more calories than she burns while consuming them. It sounds a little oxymoron-ish I know. The reality is that this has been the single most frustrating period of the entire week, and is almost on par with the same stress waiting on the surgery.

We meet with the doctors each morning on rounds and begin the process of “Practicing Medicine.” Lately it has been the battle of a mother’s intuition of her second child versus practicle science. We have been adjusting volumes, tracking with razor precision her intake, formulating calorie consumption, and debating digestive track concerns.

Needless to say, it has been a trying 48 hours. We have gone from feeding 80 ml of breast milk every 4 hours, to feeding at will every 2 hours. Currently, mother’s intuition has won the battle and we will be trying to feed her much like we fed McCanless when she was a newborn. Most of you who know me will say that I am arguing with doctors for the sake of arguing. Arguably I’m not. What we are trying to do is educate them on the problems we had with McCanless’ digestive track that we see after feeds with Mary Clare. This is where medical science rubber meets the road.

The more experienced doctors seem to be paying a close ear to what the mother has to say and effectively weighing it against what their practice has taught them. In the end, however, they consider all sides before making a decision.

Mary Clare has been SLOWLY increasing her intake every two hours by just a ml or two. We are weighing her at every glance now that the feeding tube has been temporarily removed to make sure that she is in fact gaining wieght.

With a little luck she will progress from 30 ml every feed to at least 65, then more and then we can go home. The worse case scenario is that we have to put the feeding tube back in, resume a new pattern of fortified feeds, and eventually we get a G-tube placed into her stomach and we pour milk in. This will require one more surgery which we are against and not ready to face.

Kerri is doing well with being away from McCanless (Better than she has in past days, I guess.) It is ripping her apart to be a split family down here. I miss her as well, but seeing Mary Clare (who looks like McCanless at birth) reminds me of her. Other than dealing with all of these emotions, we are holding it together. Mental stress is tiring. We sleep at the drop of a hat, usually nap every few hours at best.

We are ready to come home.

I mean:
So, we are ready to come home.
So, I’ll write an update tomorrow.
So, until then…

So, thanks Dr. Atz.

Our Girls…

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USS Cardiac

So judging from the title you can only imagine that I’m looking out of our room window which is shaped like a porthole, and the motif of the cardiac rehab floor is a children’s sea theme. So I have been held prisoner aboard the USS Ped-Cardiac for several days now.

Living in these conditions is enough to keep a man out of prison; however, our Mary Clare is continuing to learn to eat more calories than she burns eating those calories. Currently we are still at the pinnacle, and she is still feeding by the tube every 6 hours and after she won’t take any more by the bottle every 3 hours.

McCanless had the chance to come to see her sister and needless to say it was an emotional wreck for us to have her here for a night an then have to send our daughter home again – without us – for week three. Kerri is in pieces and is beyond ready to go home and have her family together for the first time at the creek house.

Updating has taken a backseat on the weekend due to the small workspace and added traffic of feeding every 3 hours, having vitals every hour, and then rounds and such.

What makes this all-the-more hard is that today my wife turns 30.

Happy Birthday from your loving husband, Melvie, McCanless, Mary Clare, and the crew of the USS Cardiac.

Suck, Swallow, and Breathe

Today Mary Clare passed her swallow study with flying colors. Her EKG of her heart repair looked well also. We are continuing to compress her feeding into an hour’s time while increasing her consumption volume. Tomorrow it will be reduced to thirty minutes.

*Big News: Tomorrow we get the opportunity to try bottle feeding for the first time, and as her intake increases she will graduate to breast feeding. This sounds like a simple thing to do until you realize that it will take the next two weeks, every three hours, to get her to learn to do this.

*More Big News: The bandages on her chest are off and her pacing wires were pulled from here heart wall this morning. All we have left is an IV and some telemetry feeds on her back to monitor her heart rate and saturation level.

We are still doing well in our little 8 X 8 cabin here on the cardiac cruise ship. When Kerri gets tired of me she makes me sit in the bathroom. Mary Clare has also been sleeping the entire day and waking like a raccoon at night, staring into the darkness with her teeny little eyes. She gets her night tendancies from her father. We’ll let you know how bottle feeding goes tomorrow.

Re-Post

Notice when my wife says we finally get to change her diapers and act like real parents, then notice the time of this post. Guess who slept all day today and will be up all night?

McCanless visits her baby sister…

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This is the Children’s Atrium, which is on the 7th floor of MUSC Children’s Hospital…where we are now!! We have graduated to 7C!!

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This was just before we moved up to 7C!

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Now Mommy and Daddy can hold Mary Clare anytime we want!! What a wonderful day!!

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Mary Clare continues to do exceptionally well. She is still on her feeding tube and will continue to eat this way for now. Tomorrow, she will have her swollow study, and if all goes well, after the study we will begin to use a bottle a little bit each day!

Mel and I are settled into our new 7C room, which is wonderful because we finally are able to be real parents to our baby girl. We have to get up with her at night, change her diaper and best of all we are able to hold and comfort her, FINALLY!!

Delay of Game

We are anxiously awaiting the removal of the IV to her right atrium of her heart. We were told earlier that we would be moving out of PC ICU today but then got word that the beds are all full upstairs. It looks like we will have one more night without “Scooter”.

We had a great time visiting with McCanless this weekend. She had the opportunity to see her baby sister again for a few brief minutes and it was a riot. McCanless kept saying “Oh, she’s a sweetie.” “I will teach her how to swim mommy.” I can only imagine by the way that McCanless drags her cat, Ballie, around by the neck in a choke hold that we will surely lose sight of Mary Clare for a brief moment to find McCanless dragging her by the head out to the lake for swimming lessons.

Another funny observation was McCanless in the children’s room here at MUSC called the Atrium. They have a realistic looking albeit pretend medical kit. Complete with surenges, antibiotics, dressings, and feeding tubes. McCanless had the baby duck-taped-up, and had a feeding tube inserted, all-the-while giving her baby shots and telling her “Shhh, this won’ hurt a minute.”

Mary Clare is doing well. She is a strong little girl much like her mommy. She sleeps most of the day and is now taking more and more breast milk through her feeding tube. We have new photos and I will do my best to add them to the page tonight. After a swollow study today, we will know more about her progress in learning to feed. An ENT doctor visited yesterday and so far things look great. Once we move upstairs, eating will be her next hurdle. She has been doing exceptionally well, according to the nurses, as she is taking milk well, and sucking on her “passy.” Apparently these babies have a hard time “re-learning” to suck, swollow, and breathe simultaneously, and it usually takes most of them a while to get the hang of it. Mary Clare is well on her way and a bit ahead of the game.

*I wanted to thank all of you that follow our progress here. Thank those of you who have sent flowers, and cards, and left messages. While we may not be able to respond to most of these right now, please know that your words of encouragement and your support and most importantly – knowing that we are not alone throughout this process, evend though we are alone at times here – have ment the most to us. It chokes me up to see how many of you make the effort even though you don’t have to.

And as not to sound all soppy and emotional – back to the humor which keeps us sane –

** I Especially wanted to thank those of you who have offered to bring food and remind you that due to my dietary allergies, I have been notified by Dr. Areephanthu that I should shy away from ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT come in a pizza box, wasn’t prepared at Ruth’s Drive-in, or come from those who prepare meals of the latina persuasion. For health reasons he also mentions that casserols and anything containing vegetables may be life threatening to my system. I know that this may seem rare but I frequently meet 15 year old boys infected with this every day.

All the best and we will continue to update now that the weekend is over. We look forward so much to getting back to the creek house and being with our family, seeing our friends, and getting back to normal.

Next Update: Est. 8:00 p.m.

Moving On Up.

So we got word that we may be moving upstairs tomorrow afternoon. This means that they will take out her femmoral lines and her supplimental oxygen. The last thing she will keep will be the pacing lines for her heart. The IV into her heart will also come out monday.

Monday also marks the beginning of our swallow study for Mary Clare. Teaching her to swallow again will be the main hurdle that keeps us here or sends us home. We have some family and friends down for the day and have been busy visiting and tending to “Scooter” (McCanless’ new nickname for the baby) It is hard to update during the weekend due to lack of internet access, but we’ll do our best to keep you informed. As always, thanks for all of the emails and such. See you in a few. +P

Soup’s On

The feedging tube is now in her nose and filling her little tummy with small doses of pedialite. It makes her sneeze from time to time. Baby sneezes are funny. We hope to have some photos uploaded tonight. She is doing well for now!

Next Update: 10:00 p.m.

Ventilator Schmentilator

Good News! The Vent was removed this morning. Mary Clare is now wide eyed and breathing with just the assistance of an oxygen line under her nose. While she still sleeps most of the day, she has been weened off of her last bit of Morphine and Dopamine. She is atempting to cry a bit and grunting like a normal baby from time to time. We are giving her a passy and trying to teach her how to use it. Tonight she will have a nasal line dropped into her stomach to begin feeding her small doses of pedialite. I told them that we’re a Gatorade family but apparently they were all out. She will continue to try and eat the small doses of pedialite and then we will begin bottle feeding in a few days from now. The next hurdle will be eating and learning to swallow.

*Side Note: Please feel free to send baby aspirin to Mary Clare. She will be on it every day for the rest of her life. I have contacted several companies about volume discounts. From our lazy math, we figure a tractor trailer load of pills would last her about five to ten years! (Only kidding about the aspirin – send cash instead)

We look forward to seeing all of you very soon, and we can’t thank each of you enough for the emials, messages, flowers, texts, and raises (worth a shot). Your support has been most kind and we couldn’t have made it this far without you.

Next Update: EST 3:00 p.m.

Early Update

Because of the nurse shift change from 7-8:30 we have to be out of the PC-ICU so they can do updates and rounds. Before we left, they were able to remove the drain tubes from her chest. This is a great step forward for us and she is continuing to run her “C-Pap” breathing tests well. We should be able to remove her from the vent tomorrow if she continues to improve throughout the night. We will be returning around 8:30 to check on her and will update you again at the scheduled 10:00 p.m. update.

**On a side note. McCanless is not pleased that we’ve hijacked her website for her babysister so we should give you a brief update on her as well. She is with her great aunt sherrill, nonnie, and kate in Florida on vacation. She went to Sea World the other day and loved seeing the dolphins. She has finally learned to swim without any flotation device!!! And finally, she has offically nicknamed her baby sister “Scooter.” We will begin the developing stages to get each daughter their own portion of this blog.

Steady as she weens

Today we are beginning what they refer to as “Pap trials” where she tries to breath on her own for short periods of time. She has the tremmors which they assure us is completely normal although it is rather uncomfortable for a parent to sit and watch. She is slowly coming off of her meds over the next day or so and we hope to be off the vent tomorrow night if she continues on the track were on right now.

We haven’t been able to spend as much time as we would like today because they keep bringing in new patients from the O.R. and we have to be out for the hour that they stabalize them.

Mary Clare is opening her eyes from time to time and yawned once today. She is sleeping most of the time and she has been holding daddy’s finger today.

Next Update: 10:00 p.m.

Closing time

Sorry for the delay in this update but we’ve been spending alot of time in the PC-ICU with Mary Clare. At 10:00 a.m. they began the procedure to close her chest from the heart surgery. It took about two hours and then we could sit with her again. Later tonight she began to come out of her sedation and open her eyes. We sat with her and she held our fingers and we talked for a while. She drifts in and out and sleeps a lot. She has pretty blue eyes! We will get up early tomorrow to go see her now that she can open her eyes as to not leave her all alone in the PC-ICU.

From here we look for the next hurdle: Weening off of her meds, getting off the vent, removing her chest tubes, taking out the pacing wires. It seems like a lot to accomplish but after heart surgery everything seems rather easy comparitively speaking. Also, since we have been spending most of our time in the PC-ICU, my phone stays off, so feel free to text us (we haven’t checked voicemail in about a week now.) I am only checking emails at night also.

I’ll be sure to give more timely updates tomorrow once the waiting room opens again and we can access a computer during the day. All is well so far, we look forward to seeing some familiar faces again real soon.

Next Update: 11:00 a.m. Thursday

A photo of baby girl…

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This photo was taken before surgery.

She was a bit swollen after surgery and looks better and better with each passing hour. We can’t wait to post a photo of her when the swelling is down, so you all will be able to see more of her beautiful face! We’ll post them soon, hopefully!

Bumps in the road

We slept last night for more hours than we have in a while. Entering the PC-ICU this morning we find that she is hitting the bumps along the road. Of course they assure us that this is normal of post operative babies and that her body is tolerating the higher heart rates, lower blood pressures, etc.. Good news is she is coming off of the paralytic medicine today and tht is a big step to recovery. She is very swollen today as to be expected and that is hard to deal with. We haven’t seen the cardiologist today to get a report but most of her tests run this morining are coming back good.

I’ll certainly keep you updated throughout today as we find out more on her progress. Kerri certainly sends her love and gratitude to all of you for the calls, cards, and prayers.

*We especially wanted to let the Mayor know that even though she is curently a resident of Charleston, Mary Clare will certainly be moved to Darlington County before the ’08 election cycle. (Some times you have to laugh to keep from crying.)

Best to you all.

See you this afternoon.

All Clear – for now

Mary Clare made it out of surgery in good time and was doing well according to the surgeon and the cardiologist. She is stable and doing well. Her chest will remain open for about 24 – 48 hours and she will continue to swell. The main point is she is doing well.

*My father was impressed by the fact that there are about 400 Hypoplastic left heart syndrome babies born in the U.S. each year. About 1 in 150 babies has some sort of heart defect (of those less than 1% are hypoplastic)

**Dr. Bradley does about 20 of these surgeries a year. The survival rate of the first surgery is 85%. While we’re certainly not out of the woods, were glad to be out of the surgery.

Kerri is resting now and has held up phenominally over these emotionally draining, sleep deprived, worrisome days. She’ll be glad to see some familiar faces in a weeek I’m sure.

Next Update: Later tonight.

11:00 a.m. Update

Word from the O.R.- She is now off the Heart-Lung machine and seems to be doing fine. (She will still be on the ventelator as not to confuse you to being taken off the other machine.) They will now observe her and make sure that she doesn’t bleed too much (she has a normal amount of bleeding now.) It is hoped that she will be returned to the PC-ICU in 1-2 hours so that we can get her situated, stabalized, and we can visit briefly.

When she returns to PC-ICU she will be swollen beyond anything that would make any parent comfortable to see their child. We have been debating on weather or not to post photos of Mary Clare online. We have now grown accustomed to seeing the ventilator tubes and all of the wires and tubes and such. We were worried that not everyone would want to see her like that, nor feel comfortable with it. We still haven’t decided and in her present condition we’re still waiting to see.

More updates forthcoming.

10:00 a.m. Update

We just received the hourly update. Not much news from surgery. Mary Clare is listed as “Very stable.” We are also at the half-way mark for the surgical part. I wish I had more to share on this update, but as they say in the PC-ICU: “Boring is beautiflul,” and “No News is Good News.” See you in an hour.

9:00 a.m. Update

We just received the first update from surgery via a text pager from within the surgical suite. Mary Clare is now on the heart-lung bypass machine which seams to be quite a hurdle in the first hour. Her anesthesia also went smoothly. I spoke with our cardiologist friend, Dr. Andy Atz in the PC-ICU and he had been back to check in on Dr. Bradley and the team. He said that this was the first hurdle. Dr. Bradley will begin to operate on Mary Clare’s heart and start bypassing and shunting for the next hour. He will then take some time to observe and make sure that the surgery is taking and that no site is leaking.

We just revieved our McCanless (In Florida with Nonnie) Update. McCanless stayed in the pool last night until 9:00. (way to stick to the 8:00 bedtime Nonnie!) Apparently after water-logging and sinking to the bottom, McCanless felt it might be time to get out and go to bed.

I’ll see you all at 10:00 for the next update. Mel

Surgery Day

Mary Clare went into surgery this morning aournd 5:30 a.m. We stayed with her last night until just after midnight, then returned this morning around 4:30 a.m. to visit with her. We walked with her back to the surgical area and then kissed her goodbye for now. We are now located in the PC-ICU waiting area on the 4th floor of MUSC MAIN waiting for our first update. Updates will come every hour beginning at 9:00 a.m. and I will be updating the website shortly thereafter. Mel

Update from MUSC…

i know that it probably seems crazy that I am able to update this blog from my hospital bed just after delivering my baby, but it really is a source of comfort and just something to fill the space that I’m not with Mary Clare. We are allowed to see her most of the day, but I guess I’m just in “new mom” mode and I still wake every couple of hours as if she were in my room. I visited her this morning, just before morning shift change (one of the few times we are not allowed in the PCICU) She looks adorable! She had her first bath last nihgt and she has a tiny pink bow in her hair! The PCICU weighed her last night and we all discovered that she weighs 7 lbs, 2 oz, not 5 lbs 14 oz as we were originally told! (Not sure how that happened) I thought those cheeks were way too big for a 5 lb baby!!

Last night I had a terrifying moment with Mary Clare. I was visiting her, and she stopped breathing on her own. The simple fact that she was breathing on her own was a great feat for her in and of itself, they told us, but they knew that it wouldn’t last, or it usually doesn’t last too long with these babies. The same drug that they are giving her to keep her valves open, also slow everything else down.

She now has a breathing tube, which will remain until after her surgery. It was very scary, especially since I was right there with her when she turned blue, but today she looks comfortable, very pink, and the swelling from birth has gone down. (The chubby cheeks are still definitely there!)

She has a tiny friend in the PCICU near her. He is also a HLHS baby and is 8 months old, and in for his second surgery. Apparently he has his days and nights confused and was watching Barney from his huge flat screen tv rolled up beside his station. (This was 5 AM this morning!)

Not sure if I’ll get a chance to update much. I’m waiting on shift change right now, but I’m trying to spend as much time with Mary Clare as possible. Feel free to call us, we love to chat and brag about her! She is simply precious and I could just eat her up!!

We’ll find out about the “plan of action” today hopefully, but it still looks like surgery is still a few days away. Please continue to keep her in your prayers! She is a spunky little fighter already, and we know that she is so loved by many people!

Happy Birthday Mary Clare Blaylock Pennington!

She is Here!!

Okay, now that I am able to sit up a bit…with extreme caution, just wanted to let the world know that Mary Clare is here and is completely stable right now! Looks llike her first surgery will be early next week, but right now she is beautiful and doing well!

We had her at 10:39 AM today. She looks nothing like McCanless, has chubby cheeks, light brown hair, weighs 5 lbs, 14 oz and 19 inches long! She is adorable!! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to hold her, but I was able to see her just before they took her to PCICU (Pediatric Cardiology ICU) It sounds like she is definitely going to be a fighter. One of the ped cardioloy nurses told us that she pitched a fit when they were trying to put a diaper on her. She has a tiny IV in her little hand and a few tubes running through her umbilical cord. Other than that, for now she looks like any other newly hatched baby burrito! We are already so lin love with her! She is simply perfect!

Labor was very quick (she was here after pushing through 3 contractions) and we all did well! (Including Mel) We were able to take a few pictures and will post them as soon as we get a chance!

MUSC update 2…

Did I mention that I love epidurals? Once the petocin drip was begun, the labor and delivery nurse asked me if I wanted to go ahead and have my epidural. I came into the hospital at 4cm, so there was no reason not to go ahead and get one!! Although, I have been having contractions for several months now, I have yet to feel any of them, and I’ll never have to!!

We have met so many wonderful people down here, and once again feel so confident in their abilities. Everyone is so kind and so compassionate! We are definitely blessed to have MUSC right here!

They say that Mary Clare is doing beautifully so far. She has been moving all night and her heart rate is perfect. Mel just woke up and has already managed to get to know most of the very large labor and delivery staff. My first L&D nurse, which happens to be a very beautiful, very young (most of the staff is, by the way), and talented nurse, even gave Mel scrubs. He has “wooed” everyone already …as usual.

Update from MUSC…7:30AM

Hard to believe that I’m able to update our blog from our hospital bed and even harder to believe that Mary Clare will be here in a few hours.

The doctors had a well thought out, well orchestrated plan, but it seems that Mary Clare is going to be like her sister and do things her way.

We arrived at the hospital at 6pm, checked in, and after a few hours of monitoring, a petocin drip was begun, which is a drug to help progression.

The plan was to begin the petocin, break my water at 6am and hopefully have her by lunchtime. After petocin was begun, my water broke, on its own at 2am, and I had quickly begun to progress, much to everyone’s surprise. The nurses stopped the petocin, and Mel and I got a few hours sleep. It is now 7:30am and they have begun the petocin once more…we’ll see how quickly she wants to arrive!

The Big Sister!!

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Although, I’m sure Mary Clare will have plenty of hand-me-downs, I wanted her to have a few of her own things! I ordered new bedding for her crib and the cradle, which happens to be Mel’s great grandfather’s. I’ve had time today and yesterday, because McCanless is with Mimi, so I’ve been wandering around the house trying to figure out what to do. Thought I’d take a few pictures of the girls’ room. (I don’t know what we did before we had children!!)

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Yes, the girls will share a room! I couldn’t give up the play room just yet.

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This is the dressing table/dresser that Mel built for McCanless.

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The cradle is in our room. I’m determined to have McCanless sleep in her room and when Mary Clare is older and sleeping through the night, they both will be in their room. (We’ll see how it goes. Mel swears that we all four will be in our bedroom before it is all over.)

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Something McCanless didn’t have…a Moses basket!

Passing through the playroom…yikes, too much “stuff”!

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Mel also built the window seat and bookshelves on either side. (He can be quite a handyman, sometimes…when he wants to be!)

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Cruising on the kayak with BB and Papa!

BB, Papa and McCanless went out in BB’s new kayak this weekend!

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That is BB, Papa and McCanless way out there. McCanless is in front of BB.

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Sometime along the trip, McCanless moved to Papa’s kayak. She is behind him. You can see her arm reaching out for a lily pad!

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McCanless LOVED it!

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My little photographer…

Lately, McCanless has been fascinated with taking photos of everything. I’ve been trying to teach her how to use my camera. (I’ve GOT to get her a cheaper, child-friendly version soon!) Some of her photos, specifically ones of me getting out of the shower and others of me dressing, had to be deleted quickly, but these are some of her work so far…

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This is Papa’s hat as he was coming in on his kayak Saturday morning.

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This is Daddy telling her to move her fingers from in front of the camera.

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Mommy’s big belly…if you can’t tell. She was trying to get my face!

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Not a great angle for me!

Swimming with Daddy…

McCanless, Daddy and I love to ride the golf cart down to Prestwood in the afternoons to swim a bit.

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Update…

We are still on for Tuesday 6pm! We had an ultrasound yesterday at MUSC, but Mary Clare was so big, you couldn’t really see much, and her head was so far down, and face to my back that we didn’t even get a good picture of her face. We could see her dark hair floating through the amniotic fluids, so it looks like she has hair!! She weighs 7lbs 9oz at this point and has chubby cheeks, the ultrasound tech said.

They also monitored her heart and my contractions. Her heart rate looked great and I had lots of contractions, just not in any consistent pattern. In fact, another pregnant lady beside me, also being monitored and also 38 weeks along, kept telling me when one was about to happen, and kept asking me if they hurt. (Her contraction line was a completely straight line…she was amazed.) Of course, I didn’t feel a thing, but as soon as she told me a big one was coming, I would think it hurt a bit. It reminded me of Mel, eyes glued to the monitor in the delivery room with McCanless telling me that I was about to hurt in 5..4..3..2..1 seconds….as if I didn’t feel it myself.

Mary Clare update…

Mel and I will head down to Charleston this Thursday for one last visit before our scheduled induction on Tuesday, June 26. Thursday, we will have the usual OB visit and monitoring, but they will also do another ultrasound to check her out one last time and get her weight. Mimi will pick up McCanless this weekend to stay in Hilton Head for a while.

I have to be at MUSC at 6pm on Tuesday night, so hopefully Mary Clare will be here by Wednesday!! We are taking the laptop, and hope to be able keep updates on the website. (emphasis on hope…we’ll see)

Keep us in your prayers, especially Mary Clare! We are so excited and so happy to finally be able to see our precious baby girl…in less than a week!!

My Little Pony Tea Party!!

During all of our summer activities, we found a bit of time to see “My Little Pony World’s Biggest Tea Party” with Nonnie and Kate!!

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McCanless was so excited! I didn’t tell her until that day because I knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything else! (Her hair was still wet from swimming lessons!)

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We were right on the floor level!

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Look who we found during the intermission…Lakyn!

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She loved interacting with the show…she was dancing, singing and having a ball! She wasn’t afraid (at all) to jump up in front of everyone and show off a bit.

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..in no time, there were other little girls who joined her.

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She even made a new friend…

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After a $22/seat show, a $7 program, a $10 star light wand, a $5 balloon, $10 snack, an $18 pink pony and a wonderful time…we headed home. What a priceless night!

Gymnastics Camp…

McCanless and her friend, Lakyn, have been in gymnastics camp this week…
I drop her off at 9am and I pick her up at 12, we have a quick lunch and then it is on to swimming lessons! Needless to say, she has been sleeping pretty well this week!

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…and just for the record, Mommy didn’t put her leotard on inside-out! Apparently, after a trip to the little girl’s room, McCanless was able to get the tag in the back, just on the wrong side….I guess we now need to work on tags going on the inside, too.

Beach Picture…

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A typical night in our house…

Last night as I was soaking in the tub, I thought I’d ask McCanless to jump in with me. She and Mel were in our bedroom on the bed watching their favorite cartoon, Sponge Bob Square Pants, much to my dismay.
Here is how our conversation went…

Mom: McCanless, come take a bath with Mommy.
McCanless, yelling… I was in the pool all day today… I don’t need to.
Mom: Yes, you do.
PAUSE
McCanless: The pool has chlorine. (giggle, giggle)
PAUSE
McCanless: Chlorine kills bacteria. (giggle, giggle)

As I finally realized what was going on, I continued: McCanless, you must take a bath tonight!

McCanless: Baths are for wussies!

I got out of the tub and walked into my bedroom to find Mel and McCanless on my bed with their heads tucked into a pillow laughing hysterically. Obviously, Mel had been feeding her words to say.

How am I going to teach her anything!?

My little athlete…

While playing in the yard yesterday, I thought I’d take the opportunity to snap a photo of McCanless’ new “running” shoes.

It may sound like cruel and unusual punishment, but lately McCanless has really enjoyed running after/beside the golf cart in the evenings when we take our usual “family” cruise. Neighbors give us the most concerned look when they see us smiling and waving from the cart as a breathless, red-faced McCanless jogs her little heart out on the street. She actually surprises us at how far she can go. I guess she is taking after my aunt Sherrill!

(So, of course, I had to buy her new running shoes…a girl can only run so far in her Crocks or Keds!!)

I’ll take the camera along next time and get her in action!

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A flower for “Mom.” (as she now calls me)

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The trick to clearing puddles…arm leverage.

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Think she’ll make it? What an athlete!

Cross your fingers!!

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A new bathing suit was all it took to convince McCanless to try out swimming lessons once more! She loves swimming, just not when and how someone else tells her!! But yesterday, day two of lessons went very well! So well in fact, that “Miss Gretta,” her instructor, said that she would definitely be swimming on her own before the end of this summer!

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I thought she would never give up her “water wings!” …but for some reason, she trusts this little belt…now if only I could!

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Day 3 of lessons went just as well…although, she was a bit chatty today. Here she is showing off a “boo boo” to one of her swimming buddies…

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Summer is here!!!

Now that we are both out of school, McCanless and I have really been having fun! We have already been going to the pool, we visited Mimi and Bapa on Daufuskie, went to Surfside Beach with Nonnie and Kate, and just this week began swimming lessons!! …and next week we begin gymnastics camp!!

(today was the first day of swimming lessons and things didn’t go so well…I’ll keep you posted)

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Surfside Beach…

Every year, Mel asks me to apply sunscreen for his first annual sun “tan” outing. Every year, Mel gets a sunburn, no matter how I apply. Every year I get blamed for his “tan.” Funny how McCanless never gets burned!! (I don’t know what I do wrong…maybe this year it was the spray on sunscreen!)

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Chuck E. Cheese…

Mommy and Aunt Kate took McCanless to Chuck E. Cheese last week…

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What happened to my cute little girl who loved to pose (with a sweet smile) for my camera??

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Trip to Daufuskie…

McCanless spent a long Memorial Day weekend with Mimi and Bapa on Daufuskie. Unfortunately, I didn’t get out my camera much, so I’m hoping Aunt Liz will send a few pictures our way soon!

Here we are on the way home on the Ferry…

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Update…

Mel and I just got back from Charleston today….

I met yet another OB on this visit who wanted to do things a bit differently. (I have loved each and every doctor I have met, it just seems that they each have their own idea of what is best…BUT we got it all straight today, for now anyway.) While I am still about 2 cm dilated (no further progression) Mary Clare is still tucked securely and shows no sign of arrival… this week anyway.

The new OB from today, Dr. Christopher Robinson and our cardiologist, Dr. Forbes and I had a phone conference to discuss planning the induction. It seems to get her as chunky as possible we are all willing to wait until June 27. (The more body fat she has, and the more developed she is before surgery will be best.) I just hope she holds out!!! If not, they have all assured me that all will be well, we’ll just be transported to Charleston before delivery!

I will have OB visits twice weekly now to monitor any progression…Tuesdays in Hartsville, and Thursdays in Charleston, just in case! If it seems that we need to bump up the induction, they will.

McCanless and I have been busy so far this summer. I’ll post pictures as soon as I get a minute; I just wanted to keep everyone updated on Mary Clare for now…

Still no Mary Clare yet…

I’ve had several people call and leave messages asking if Mary Clare had been born….not yet! We were on Daufuskie for a long Memorial Day weekend, and have been busy and out of the house, so it seems that we are never around.

Mel and I go back to Charleston on Thursday. I’ll keep you posted!

Mary Clare’s Progress…

Yesterday, Mel and I went to MUSC for our last cardiology appointment before delivery. (I’ll continue to have weekly OB visits) Her heart was much larger and Dr. Forbes could really see much more on this visit. We met with “Dr. Tony” on our last visit, and were a bit disappointed that we didn’t see him, but Dr. Forbes turned out to be just as wonderful as Dr. Tony! He was another young, very positive doctor! He was extremely knowledgeable and told us, in so many words, that this is a “classic” Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome case. I know that we have know this all along, but there is always that tiny glimpse of hope that one day I’ll wake up and her heart will be perfect.

The surgeon did say that she had no fluid around her heart and that her normally functioning valves had no leakage, which was a great sign. (So really, she is a strong baby and we have the best case scenario, as far as a baby with HLHS.) These valves will be used to re-route the blood flow. He had lots of other “surgeon verbiage” that I can’t even begin to remember. Mel was a bit helpful. He remembered some of the names of the different valves and vessels, etc. from school. The surgeon also told us that by the end of all of this we will know more about the heart and heart surgery than we have ever wanted to know!

He also gave us a tour of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for “heart babies.” (He personally walked us down and explained everything, which I thought was wonderful. The simple fact that he cared enough to take time to show us around was a simple gesture that meant the world to me.) We walked down the hall to a large spacious room with a huge nurses station in the center. On the left was a row of 6 baby cribs and many machines. On the right were smaller, open rooms for more chronic patients.

There were three babies on the open side, where Mary Clare will be after surgery. This was probably the most difficult thing for me to see and to realize so far. Mel was more interested in what different machines were and how they worked, the hours of visitation for us, etc. and all I could see were the precious babies in the cribs. One even had HLHS; I knew because asked Dr. Forbes. Mel asked me later why I wanted to know if any of the babies had HLHS, and I couldn’t tell you. I guess I just felt a bit better knowing that she wouldn’t be the only HLHS baby there.

Of the three babies, there were two dads sitting with them. Thinking back, it was probably a good thing I didn’t see a mom there at that time. I know that there were three moms who were just as worried as I will be, but for some reason, maybe a shower, lunch or just a break, they were out at the moment. I already feel a camaraderie with those moms who are going through the same thing, so to see them worried and hurting along with their babies probably would have been too much for me yesterday.

It was very difficult, but I’m so glad we had an opportunity to visit before actually seeing Mary Clare there. It is a brand new facility and each of the nurses and doctors that we saw were extremely knowledgeable, concerned and caring. We are so lucky to have MUSC so nearby.

I also had an OB appointment later yesterday afternoon. Believe it or not, I’m already about 2 centimeters dilated, which really doesn’t mean much because I’m not in “active labor” yet. They monitored Mary Clare’s movements, heartbeat and any contractions that I may be having. Her heartbeats were strong, she moved LOTS (which I knew anyway) and I had one contraction in the 30 minutes that they monitored me. I’m 34 weeks along and they really want her to be as strong and as big as she can be as a “heart baby,” and go as long as possible, so they want me to watch things and “take it easy.” (they obviously don’t know McCanless or Mel) Hopefully, I won’t have her too soon, but if I haven’t had her by 38 weeks, which is the week of June 18, they will induce.

I know I’ll never be fully ready for this, but every day as it approaches I feel a bit more secure and a bit stronger. I already know that she will be a fighter and I know that God is with her and with us. We feel sure that in about 3 years, we’ll be complaining about her sassy mouth and attitude, attending never- ending dance recitals (to see 2 minutes of stomping tap shoes), and love to “mush- mush face” with her just as we are with McCanless right now!

Our Dancing Queen!

McCanless’ dance recital was last night! Mommy, Daddy, Mimi, Nonnie & Bubba, BB & PaPa and three aunts were there all cheering our dancing queen on!

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This is our little Rockin’ Robin getting ready for the night!

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Lakyn and McCanless…I was praying that the recital night would go smoother than earlier this week. Lakyn and McCanless had a fight on stage during rehearsal night!! (literally, a shoving a match)

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Daddy, Mommy, McCanless and Mary Clare! (under McCanless)

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A girl can never have too many aunts!
(Kate, McCanless, Kacy and Liz)

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On to Sonic for an after recital ice cream treat!! Yes, we are on the golf cart…Daddy loves to “cart” around town. McCanless is still quite the clown as she tries to give her Daddy bunny ears…after all these years, Mel has finally met his match!

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…Aunt Liz, McCanless and a big vanilla cone! A perfect night!

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We are so very proud of you, our little Rockin’ Robin!!

Should I be concerned?

When I try to dress McCanless, she always has to change something. She wants to switch pants, shirts, shoes, etc. She never wants to wear what I want her to wear. Usually, I end up compromising. Today, I thought I’d see what she would do with complete control and no help from Mommy or Daddy. I sent her to her room to dress, and this is what I found about 15 minutes later.

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Purple t-shirt, jewelry, pink pj bottoms, jewelry, glitter makeup, jewelry and rainbows. She was too busy with her makeup application to stand to allow me to get a full shot.

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…Pink glitter nail polish for her toes…

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…she was a bit tired of the camera at this point!

First Baptist Kindergarten Music Program

We thought it might be best if we “hid” behind other parents. We weren’t sure how McCanless would react to being on stage in front of so many people as it was, especially if she actually spotted us!

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The 2K class is in the center. McCanless is on the top row, 2nd from left, in the blue dress and blue bow!

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She spotted us right away, but just waved and smiled!

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She even found it necessary at certain points in the program to stand up to perform. (I think the director was about to flip because she thought they would fall off of the stands)

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She and her friend, Aiden, began a conversation half way through the program. They were too cute! They would chat and laugh at each other and point to the audience and laugh out loud. I would love to know exactly what they were saying!

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I had to post this one although it is a bit blurry…probably because I was laughing so hard. She began to peek out from under her dress! Good thing she wasn’t on the front row!

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Mary Clare Update…

These ultrasound photos were taken two weeks ago at our last appointment at MUSC. She was about 4 lbs already at the time, and the ultrasound tech told us that she was definitely a chubby baby already!

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Yes, she has one eye open in this photo!

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We are already 32 weeks along!! (I had McCanless at 36 weeks, so it may not be too much longer!)

Already??

Just wanted to post this so when McCanless is a teenager and I wonder where in the world she came from, I’ll have a reminder that she was born this way.

Lately, when, after being told a thousand times not to do something, she will simply reply, “I didn’t do it, my (fill in blank here) did.” (arm, leg, sister, etc.)

For example, after repeatedly throwing a few paint samples out of our shopping cart yesterday at Lowes and watching and laughing at a very pregnant mommy grimmace as I bent over to gather them, I sternly told her not to do that one more time, or mommy was going to be very, very angry.

She gave me one of those “duh-looks” and said, “I didn’t do it, Mom. My hand did.” Is it just me or is age three a bit young for this? Where does she get this?

2007 Disney Trip-Day 1

On Easter Sunday night we boarded the train to head for Orlando.

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This is McCanless clapping just as she heard the train toot before we took off!

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It was very difficult getting to sleep; we were so excited!

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…at breakfast the next morning in the “Dining Car” on the train.

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On Monday, after a night on the train, we wanted to take it easy. (Mommy did, anyway) We went to Downtown Disney right across the street from our resort. It reminds me of Broadway at the Beach only Disney-style. McCanless had fun because everywhere you turned was a Disney themed store, statue, exhibit, etc.

She was thrilled to even see statues of her princesses…we kept thinking, “Wait until tomorrow!!”

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Of course, she had to go shopping and buy a Jasmine outfit right then and there. (and put it on right then and there) Hmmm, in Disney for a few hours and already she has turned into a Princess.

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We even ate at a Disney McDonalds!

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After a quick stop at our resort, we headed to Disney’s Boardwalk.

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There is always a moment in a family vacation when you think the trip may be ruined or take a turn for disaster…this was it. McCanless, while watching sea gulls and ducks rather a bit too closely, got her head stuck in the rails! Luckily, after a brief panic attack, a few screams later, a check from a vacationing pediatrician that just happened to walk by, and ice cream, all was well.

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We even took a ride down the beach boardwalk in a covered buggy bike.

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Daddy and McCanless were watching a magic show while we ate pizza.

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After pizza, popcorn, funnel cakes and lots of fun, we headed back. We couldn’t wait to see her face the next day when we walked into the Magic Kingdom!

2007 Disney Trip-Day 2

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After an early breakfast, we headed for the monorail and the Magic Kingdom!

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…Daddy and McCanless on the monorail. I guess it was still a bit early for pictures for McCanless.

First reaction to Disney…

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After running around in Ariel’s Grotto, McCanless got wet and of course HAD to change!

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…poised and ready to go with her new autograph book and pen…

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After seeing Minnie’s house, she wants to paint our house pink.

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A ride on the Disney train…

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After riding “It’s a Small World,” “Peter Pan,” “Winnie the Pooh,” and having lunch at Pinocchio’s, we realized that silky was no where to be found!! The only thing to do was find the closest, most overpriced silky that McCanless now owns!! (It does, however, have “Princess” embroidered on it.)

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For those of you who don’t know, this is what McCanless does with her silky. She finds a perfect corner and twists it until she has it just right, then she sucks on it. I thought she was going to fall asleep standing…

After a moment’s rest in the stroller, she was ready to go again. (she never fell asleep, by the way…too much going on)

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…here she is after choosing a pair of purple Tinkerbell Ears, on the floor of the store, watching a dancing Sleeping Beauty snow globe. Daddy didn’t like the Tinkerbell ears at all and bought the traditional ears with her name embroidered on the back. She still hasn’t worn them.

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…McCanless making friends as we waited for the 3D Movie..At this point I asked her to, “smile with your new friend.” I got one of these looks, one might expect from an annoyed teenager, as if my request was just too unbearable.

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McCanless didn’t like the movie much, she was afraid of the objects “flying” toward her. It was really amazing. Not only was the movie 3D and extremely realistic, we got sprinkled with water, wind gusts and even various smells throughout. I laughed as McCanless batted objects away and finally, frustrated, took off her glasses! However, she did put them back on for Jasmine’s magic carpet ride with Aladdin.

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Even a bit of rain didn’t stop our fun! It was actually nice because it had gotten so warm.

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2007 Disney Trip-Day 3

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Wednesday, Mel simply asked and we were able to ride in the front of the monorail with the “pilot.” In this photo, McCanless is admiring the monorail “co-pilot” license she received. We decided to head back to the Magic Kingdom early to find a few more Princesses.

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She wanted to make sure we got the autographs, but McCanless didn’t like Goofy or Pluto at all!

Below is a photo of McCanless as she watches Belle sign other girls’ autograph books…She was in awe.

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This was the highlight of our entire trip…

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After a morning of meeting princesses, we decided to head to Epcot for lunch. We boarded the Disney ferry and took off…

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Daddy was having a good time, I promise!!

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Striking a pose in Mexico…

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After lunch in Italy, McCanless fell asleep…

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France…

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Morocco…

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What a surprise to wake up to Sleeping Beauty!! If only she could come to our house every morning. McCanless was simply in heaven! (not her usual “just awake” mood at all)

On the ferry ride back to our resort, I tried to get a photo of McCanless’ new freckles…needless to say, she was a bit of a ham for the camera.

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Once we got back to our resort, we decided to take a swim…it was hot, hot, hot!!

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…this is how I usually saw Mel and McCanless as I hobbled down to the elevator. They loved to run down halls and play “catch me” …every time we came or left!

2007 Disney Trip-Day 4

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Donning “skun scream” and swim suits, we headed to Typhoon Lagoon!!

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The scariest three minutes of my life were spent waiting at the bottom of this slide. (over and over again) McCanless is now tall enough to go up the “big kid” slide alone, although she looked like the youngest. As soon as she would zoom down, she would swim over to the “mountain” and climb back up again.

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up the mountain…

The only problem is, once she started up the mountain, I lost sight of her until she came sliding down…I would watch her walk up as far as I could see her, run/wade over to the bottom of the slide, pushing all of the other moms out of the way, (this was easy, given my current state and size) and just wait, holding my breath. There were several kids in hot pink swimmies that I almost grabbed. I’m sure their moms thought I was crazy.

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Does this look like the face of a line-breaker?

After watching her partway up the mountain, Mel informed me that the only reason she came down so quickly was because, as she ascended up the mountain, she would pass all the other kids, smile, nod as if to be giving an “it’s okay” and nudge her way up to the top using her swimmies as leverage.

Oh well, the lifeguards at the top never seemed to notice as far as I knew.

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Yes, even mommy had to cool off in the wave pool a bit!

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After lunch, a long nap on the beach, a few more slides and many freckles later, we decided to change clothes and get ready to head home. (Daddy was turning purple at this point)

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Mel’s cousin, Tim, took us to the train station and as you can see, McCanless was a bit tired/bored as we waited for our train.

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At 6:00 PM we boarded the train to head for SC, and although McCanless was ready to see her “blue house” she wasn’t thrilled to be leaving behind the princesses.

Goodbye Disney!

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After waving goodbye to Disney and dinner in the dining car, we were all ready to go to bed!!

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Happy Birthday Steve Spurrier

Daddy’s pants were given to Coach Spurrier for his birthday by the Darlington County Gamecock Club. Mrs. Spurrier got a new Stadium Skirt too!

www.stadiumpants.com

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We’re famous…

Check out the first family under ‘portfolio’ on www.steveroos.com! There are even a few of McCanless under ‘children’

Easter Morning 2007…

Unfortunately my camera is broken, so we had to borrow PaPa’s for the day and for our trip to Disney. (thanks, PaPa!) These pictures are of McCanless after church at our Easter egg hunt and at home later, post lunch at Grandmother Redfearns, post nap on top of Aunt Liz, hair tangled, and somewhat of a mess.
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Heading to Disney World!

That’s right! We are heading to Disney on Easter Sunday night. Mel and I decided that we wanted to take McCanless now while she is so into all of the Disney Princesses and to have one last “family of three” hurrah! We’ll board the train out of Cola Sunday night, be in Disney Monday morning, Tuesday, Wednesday and ride back to Florence on Thursday. We are staying in the park, and have plans to go to Typhoon Lagoon, visit the Bibbity-Bobbity-Boutique and of course lunch with the Princesses! McCanless is thrilled!

McCanless loved the train ride to Florida last summer, so we had to do it again! We are getting a sleeper car again so we’ll have plenty of space, sleeping quarters and private potty quarters, which is great with a 3-year-old. She loves “camping out” with Mommy and Daddy and eating on the train, so we are all very excited about the train ride, too!

I’ll post pictures as soon as we return!

McCanless’ first portrait…

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I’ve been meaning to post this for a while…just now dug it out of her “McCanless’ 2-year-old project box.”

McCanless drew this back in November and has since gotten a bit better. She did this one day at home without any direction from me at all. …and those circles on the side of the head aren’t ears, as I assumed. They are cheeks, she quite frankly told me.

Obsessed…

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This is McCanless riding a pony at a birthday party in February. Now she asks everyday for a pony and is obsessed with all things ridden. (the purple horse coin machine at Wal-Mart, real ponies, “My Little Ponies,” mommy’s back, etc.)

If you are wondering…

We are intentionally spelling Clare without the I…

My grandmother’s (mom’s mom) name is Joan Clare, not sure why she goes by Joanne (?) now…and Mel’s great-aunt is actually Mary Clare. My great grandmother’s name was Mary Jackson Byerly. I also had a great aunt, Mary Elizabeth….not to mention so many other Elizabeth’s in the family. (so we are covering lots of ground)

After researching a bit I think C-L-A-R-E is the “old-fashioned” way to spell the more modern/recent “Claire.”

Check out Daddy’s new skirts at P&B…

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“Stadium Skirts” with many different school logos (this is just our favorite) and the “Palmetto” line…

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Go to www.stadiumpants.com to see more!

We are proud of you, Daddy!

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Mary Clare’s update!

She is definitely growing, and I am too! I’m about 25 weeks right now, so over half-way!! We go to see the pediatric cardiologist on Monday at 10 AM, and will know so much more after that visit! We’ll keep you all informed!

A weekend with Mimi and Aunt Liz…

McCanless recently spent a weekend in Columbia with Aunt Liz and Mimi. They always have so much fun together!! They went out to eat, shopping (at McCanless’ request) and even to Edventure, a children’s museum. McCanless always has so much fun with Mimi and Aunt Liz! She even tried to “smuggle” home a pair of Aunt Liz’s Jimmy Choos! Mimi found a pair of the shoes buried in one of McCanless’ bags. (at least I know she has good taste)

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Thanks for a great weekend, Mimi and Aunt Liz! We love you!!

Isn’t it ironic?

You learn that when you have kids, you have to roll with the punches, laugh often, worry less about personal issues and unfortunately worry more about someone else…your child.

That being said, I’ve been working on Mel. He is usually a guy that takes anything that comes his way, makes it work to his advantage and keeps on going, no matter what.

BUT, he is so very anal about my car, so much so, that doesn’t fit his personality AT ALL. He says that he can’t understand how I can be so anal about the house but couldn’t care less about the car…ie french fries in the floor, trash in the passenger side, suckers stuck in the carpet, tongue “licks” on the windows, toys, clothes, shoes, books, etc. etc. all in the car.

Once a year, Mel has my car completely cleaned. (for his own sanity) The seats are taken out, carpet shampooed, washed, waxed, the works! I’m very grateful, but it really isn’t necessary. He doesn’t understand that when you have a child, it is a given: you have a dirty car. My mother taught me this. Her car was always a mess and my car will be too, as long as I have children carted around in it. I feel it is almost a rite of passage as a mom.

This week was my Tahoe’s chance at becoming a gleaming, clean, as new as it can get SUV once again. Tuesday night Mel came driving up in the driveway, beeped the horn to show off our car and as McCanless and I jumped in the back seat, he began his speech:
-No food in the car
-No candy EVER in the car
-Only necessary items will be left in the car at the end of the day
-The Tahoe will be vacuumed out once a week.
-ETC., ETC

That is until about 3 miles down the road, McCanless looked at me from her middle riding car seat and said, “Mommy, I need to go home. I think I have to throw….”

It only took a few seconds for Mel to realize that the massive stream of fluid and spaghetti-O’s flying by him was from our toddler. He sat in silence as his speech came to a hault. I quickly unbuckled her and again she was sick, but in the back seat this time. As Mel turned the car around and pulled into the funeral home parking lot, I heard him just sigh. I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t help it. I burst into laughter. I couldn’t control myself, and eventually McCanless began to laugh too. Mel, however, never laughed. He only began to clean out our car at the back of the funeral home. I think he did smile once as we watched McCanless, who was so sick a few minutes earlier, run around screaming and laughing, obviously feeling fine.

Maybe this taught him a lesson!

The Woodham crew…

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This was taken this fall at Holden Beach. (Cannie & Me with my sister, Kacy, my sister, Kate and baby brother, Alston) I’ve been meaning to post it for a while…been busy!

Her first mug shot…

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Thought you may enjoy seeing this. This was taken at school for a “Lost Child” identification card. Mrs. Jordan told me McCanless was NOT happy to have the picture taken at all…obviously!

Inappropriate Language…

I have been trying to teach McCanless that certain words are not nice to use, some we even call “potty words.” It has turned out to be somewhat of a game, and now when she hears the words stupid, dumb, poo-poo, etc..she will raise her eyebrows, widen her eyes, and very sternly say, “YOU DON’T SAY THAT!”
(EVERY time she hears one of these words, she repeats this….you don’t realize how often you actually hear them in cartoons, movies, in public, family, etc.) McCanless is now very quick to point it out!

That being said, I’ve also warned Mel that he shouldn’t use inappropriate words around her. Every now and then I have to fuss at him and of course, you’ll hear my echo repeating and fussing at her daddy. Mel rarely says this, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but he has been known to say, “Jesus Christ” in a moment of forgetfulness, and frustration. McCanless has only heard him say this once, and once was all it took. Mommy was certain to correct this and explain to her that we only pray to Jesus, not use his name in this way. (I could forsee that I would eventually be getting a call from the First Baptist pre-school teachers telling me that McCanless would not be allowed to return to 2K after cursing Jesus Christ as she spilled her paint)

I, however, failed to mention that sometimes we use his name when we are talking about Jesus, as our priest did yesterday in church. All I remember is wanting to sink into my pew, as I so often do on Sundays, as I heard her quite loudly exclaiming to Father Michael that, “NO, YOU DON’T SAY THAT,” after hearing him refer to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Valentine’s Day…

I guess having a 5 months pregnant wife and a three-year-old warrants Mel a “free pass” for Valentine’s Day. He did however, treat McCanless and me to a burger at Hardee’s and flowers! I was also treated to a rose petal bath…too bad it was McCanless’ idea, and away went my beautiful flowers and quiet, solo bath.

She had so much fun “swimming” with her flower petals that I think we’ll make it a Valentine’s Day tradition for her! Daddy tried to get a picture of her in her pink bikini with all of the pink rose petals around her in the tub, but for some reason, my little McCanless was modest last night! (if you can imagine that)

…and yes, she continues to bathe in her bathing suits! She pretends to be Ariel and sings away in the tub every night, before taking a “slippery bath” when I make her strip down.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Every year, I try to use a picture of McCanless for her Valentine’s Day cards. I thought it was appropriate to use her on her trampoline that she LOVES!

outside…

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inside…

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Meet Baby Pennington Number 2!!

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…and she is a girl!

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We are so excited to announce that our next little bundle will be a girl! Sorry Daddy, looks like you’ll be way out numbered now! She is perfect in every way, except for her little heart. We have had to go to a pediatric cardiologist for this pregnancy, and will continue to monitor her progress. We will know much more after our next appoinment in March. We’re hoping she is as strong willed as her big sister and will be just as healthy!

McCanless continues to have inputs as far as her name goes…

We mentioned Mary Clare (my grandmother’s name) to her, and she thought for a minute and told us that she “likes Mary Poppins much better.” So lately, she has been refering to my belly as Mary Poppins.

McCanless is thrilled to be a big sister, I guess. I know she is happy that we are having a girl, but I’m not quite certain how she will feel about having another “baby” in the house. She continues to blame “her sister” when she gets into trouble and she is forever “hiding” her toys from her…let’s hope this gets better!

I usually don’t do this kind of stuff…

but I was actually bored the other day while I was waiting on McCanless to wake up from a nap. I was playing around on the internet and found this (after answering a few rediculous questions):

What Madame Zaritska predicts for your birth: The day you deliver will be blustery outside. You will deliver in early evening after a 5 hour labor. Your baby boy will weigh 8 lbs, 5 oz and be 18 1/2 inches long. Your child will have dark brown hair and brown eyes and have lots of hair.

Although it sounds like I’m having a short African-American baby on a “blustery” day in the South on July 4th, which seem a bit unlikely, well see how accurate the Madame is!

Update on McCanless’ names for the baby: The last time I asked McCanless what we were having, of course she said girl. Rarely does she say otherwise. She was dressed in her purple “Gypsy” princess gown. (She thinks it is similar to the gypsy (Demi Moore) outfit on Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dome.)
After I asked what we should name her, she looked up at me, then eyes to the side, a contemplating look on her little face and seriously stated in her little high pitched princess voice, “Goat.”

She wants to name the baby, Goat. The pet/side kick of the gypsy.

My 3-year-old McCanless

A few things that I would love to remember about McCanless as a 3-year-old…there are probably many that somtimes I’d like to forget… nonetheless, I’ll post both.

McCanless is a very strong willed child. (I know,I know so many people have strong willed children, but I have actually had several people suggest that I buy Dobson’s book, The Stong Willed Child.) Some of the people that made the suggestion knew us, some didn’t, just happend to see us out and about. She isn’t disrespectful, just very determined right now.

She minds me (as much as any 3-year-old minds), but Daddy doesn’t know how to handle her AT ALL!! She knows exactly how to get to daddy! She has him right around her little finger!

At this age she seems to be the leader in most of her play circles. She never does anything that she doesn’t want to do, no matter who is doing it. Most of the time, I see her leading the pack.

She is still obsessed with the color pink and any princess. She loves to play dress up, and now will keep her voice in a high pitched almost squeal talk. If you call her by name, she insists that her name is Princess Ariel, Princess Ann Elise, etc..or whoever she is at the moment.

She loves to dance, and paint and continues to love books and music.

She can sing every word to every song in the movie, Annie. As she sings, she will usually act out whatever is happening. She is pretty good with the notes, too.

She loves to talk to her dolls, and play teacher. She will line up her dolls and ask if they, “want to read the book in my left hand, or read the book that my right hand is pointing to?” which is obviously something her teacher does.

She is extreme in every form of the word. When she is happy, she is extrememly happy, when she is mad…extremely mad. Hungry…extremely hungry.

She can turn on and off like a light switch. One minute she can be the sweetest, most mild-tempered, most quiet (believe it or not…although rare) loving child, then up out of my lap, loud, running around laughing with no regard to “rules”…just so carefree.

When she wants something, it is now. When she is tired, she is a nightmare!

She definitely has her Mimi and Daddy in her. She is a night owl. Her ideal schedule would be to sleep to 9, take her time waking up, eat breakfast around 10, late lunch, nap around 3:30, sleep for 2 1/2 hours, then bed around 10:30. Trust me, I have fought this hard. I never would have thought that people actually had this kind of internal clock until I met Mel. I always thought he was just lazy!! I had to give birth to his clone to realize that they were born this way. They both are so alert and alive after 9 PM, which is when my clock turns off!

I know the real world is going to be hard, so I’ve tried to adjust her internal clock a bit, but when I wake her when she is not ready, all hell breaks loose. She takes forever to “wake up.” I never understood why Mel wouldn’t just jump up with me in the morning ready to go at 7 am??!! Now I know!

She has a great personality. She is fun to watch, and fun to be around. She loves people and loves being around people at all times!

She loves music and has her own little CD collection. In the car, she will flip through her CD case and find exactly what she wants. Then she will sing at the top of her lungs, but gets angry at me if I try to sing along with her.

She has great facial expressions. I think one day she will work in drama. I swear, she is the most dramatic 3-year-old. Even her teacher tells me that!

She loves school, except for the being there at 9 am part!

I’m not sure how she will accept the new baby. Somtimes she speaks of her sister doing this or that, but I’m not really sure she is talking about the baby. I think she is pretending or just “talking.” She told her teacher that she had a baby in her belly and had to go to the hospital to get it out. I really don’t know where she heard that!! Mel swore that they didn’t have the conversation and I know I haven’t told her that!

My little McCanless is so much fun, I couldn’t imagine her any other way! I love it all: the good, the bad and the ugly…and the all of the wonderful in between!

3-year-old McCanless

These are the photos that Steve Roos took this fall. The quality look a bit off because I scanned them in. Once again, we love everything Steve has done!!

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…and of course, our Christmas card photo.

A link to his website is on the left.

Birthday Party…round two!

We went for a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party this year!! It was a hit!

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This is a picture of the birthday invitation that I created…all was tied up with a ribbon, using a wonderful picture of McCanless that Steve Roos took! (Not a great photo of the invitation, because I can’t find the copy on my pc, but you get the idea)

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Of course, we still had to throw in the pink for McCanless!

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The cameras are up, ready for the “Happy Birthday” song…

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…and she is NOT happy!! (every year this happens??!!??)

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Parker and his daddy driving away!

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Happy 3rd Birthday, McCanless!!

Birthday Party round one…

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On the morning of her birthday, McCanless woke up to a battery-powered Princess car from Mimi and Bapa! (too bad Daddy didn’t charge it before she opened it)…and an electric Barbie guitar from Nonnie and Bubba. (Thanks for that one, mom…Mel and I love it) By the way, if you couldn’t tell from the picture, McCanless dresses herself for bed! …and her shirt reads, “My Dad ROCKS!”

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One last headache before taking her to school…

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“Who is ready for a birthday party?” Ms. Jordan asked the kids. Of course McCanless was the first to jump! Daddy (in the birthday hat) is still a bit resentful about me not throwing him a 31st surprise birthday party in December…he waits for one every year. Poor Daddy!

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Guess she wasn’t as ready as she thought! This is the birthday princess as EVERYONE was singing, “Happy Birthday” to her. (she did the same thing at her 2-year-old birthday party last year..and again at Chuck E. Cheese at her 3-year-old birthday party this year)

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Then on to McDonald’s for a birthday lunch with Mommy and Daddy! We told her she could go anywhere she wanted, and of course she chose Mickey D’s with the play yard!! McNuggets, McApples, and McApple juice! Yum! (I guess we should enjoy the cheap birthday lunches for now, as I’m sure the expense of birthdays will increase)

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Nice face, McCanless. (with a nugget hanging out of her mouth) Her daddy teaches her these things! I’m working on both of them!

My Pinkalicious 3-year-old!!

McCanless is obsessed with her new book (from Mimi), Pinkalicious! Mommy and McCanless even attempted to make the same pinkalicious cupcakes (that are in the book) for her birthday party at school.

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…and as if she wasn’t already obsessed with the color pink enough, she now must take pink baths! (I found cute Crayola bath color “dotz” at Target)

Jumping around on the new trampoline!!

Finally it’s dry enough to jump on her new trampoline! I thought we would both go crazy waiting to try out Santa’s gift!

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Forgive me…

Please excuse any typos, wrong word choices, misspellings, crazy/sappy/no one would really care because she isn’t their child stories from me…

Number one: I’m preggo…enough said if you have ever been in this condition before! (the sweet baby sucks the brain right out of you, I swear) …not to mention I’m a wee bit emotional…just ask Mel. So the sappy stories will continue, as will the grammatical errors!

Number two: The only time I can usually devote to this blog is in the wee hours of the morning…when I have Mel and McCanless out of my hair…so I’m usually almost asleep or should be!!

Sorry guys! I’m sure there will be more in the future…please overlook!

Silly big sister to “bee!”

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The Thirty Days of Christmas…

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…helping Mommy and Daddy with the Christmas tree.

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Clowning around…as usual…

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I asked Mel to take McCanless for the day so I could get a bit of shopping done. As I drove through Florence, I looked to my left and saw McCanless and Mel cruising along in the van heading in the same direction. “Meet us at the Civic Center,” was all Mel said. Little did I realize, we all would be flopping around on ice that afternoon. We rented ice-skates and took off! I still never know what to expect!

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McCanless did extremely well to my surprise.

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Have you ever seen such cute ice skates???

The Hartsville Christmas Parade 2006

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Nonnie asked McCanless to ride on the Mutual float with her again this year. McCanless waved like a beauty queen! (although she doesn’t look thrilled in this picture)

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Daddy was in charge of the parade again this year and was cruising around in our golf cart with his entourage the whole time. After her debut as Mutual parade princess, McCanless jumped on the cart with daddy and continued as Deputy Parade Boss.

Tap Dance Class Christmas Party

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Thought I’d actually post a picture of her doing something. (3rd from left-black and pink) When parents went into the room to “observe,” McCanless stood there waving and smiling at me, but wouldn’t do a thing! I caught this one just as I walked in. (let’s hope she does a bit more at the recital)

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2-year-old kindergarten Christmas Party!!

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Visiting “Daddy Santa” again this year…

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Mel helps out Santa every year and plays the part for the local YMCA. Last year McCanless sat on his lap and chatted away. We thought we had her fooled until we left and she casually mentioned, “Bye Daddy.” This year was a different story. She did NOT like daddy in Santa’s clothes…AT ALL!

Christmas Eve with Mel’s family…

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..and to the limo (funeral home limo) to see all of the wonderful Hartsville Christmas lights…while singing with the Disney Christmas CD with the whole family!

Christmas morning..opening Santa’s gifts!!

Sorry, Mimi! I tried to get her to wear her adorable Christmas PJ’s that you sent, but these days anything pink and obnoxious takes precedence. (like the hot pink, velvet-like princess gown she had to wear)

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Too bad it was raining all morning and McCanless didn’t get a chance to jump on her new trampoline! (Santa must have spent FOREVER assembling the night before)

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painting Daddy’s nails…(good thing Santa reads the Hartsville Messenger. He wouldn’t have known that McCanless wanted pink nail polish, otherwise. Apparently the Messenger stopped by McCanless’ kindergarten class to ask what Santa was bringing!

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McCanless had to think when I asked her what her favorite gift was…

On to Nonnie’s Christmas day…

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McCanless remained in PJ’s all day!!

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After a long day, and several pj’s later…(she couldn’t help herself, if someone gave her new pj’s, she had to put them on)…she had had enough!!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Daddy Duty!

I wish I had a picture to post of this, but I don’t, so a quick story will have to do. (I must record this for posterity)

Last Thursday, I promised a dear friend that I would pick up her child from 2K because she was in a bind and didn’t have a way to get him. I thought it would be no problem because McCanless is in the same class and we would just go eat and play for the afternoon…until I realized that I was giving an exam on that Friday and wouldn’t be finished until around 1:00!

I knew Mel had off, so I reluctantly asked him. To my surprise he agreed without even one complaint. He even sounded a bit cocky as if he could handle it even better than I could. Fine, I decided. “I won’t be home until about 1:15,” I told him.

To my even greater surprise, when I called to check on him around 12:30, he had not two toddlers, but three. Another friend of McCanless’ cried when she saw that Mel was taking McCanless and Parker, so Mel offered to take her along for the day! I guess Mel made a great impression on her. (Apparently, Mel didn’t take McCanless to school this day, but showed up to pick up Parker at 11:00 and stayed and played with the kids and “helped” out with the play dough until 12:00, time to go home)

Laykn’s mom quickly accepted Mel’s offer and the four were off. Mel was left to fend for himself…in McDonald’s at lunch hour, with three, three-year-olds!

I was so very proud of him, especially after he called me at 1:20 on the dot to see where I was. By this time, he had made it through check out, ordered all three the exact same thing (coke included, which McCanless has never had to my knowledge, except what my mother sneaks her on a few occasions) AND had taken them all to the bathroom at the exact same time, which he said happened just as they all sat down to eat.

When I got home, Mel had taken Lakyn home and had McCanless and Parker in the bed with him…trying to take a nap. McCanless and Parker were talking, laughing, kicking the covers up, and making faces at each other.

Mel was on the very edge of the bed sound asleep.

Surprise!

This is how we told everyone our news!! (The Christmas card below…from the four of us!) We just decided it was easier to tell all of the grandparents at once, and everyone else for that matter.

McCanless will be a big sister in June…and yes, I sent them out the day before Mel’s birthday! Sorry, Mel. I think you already knew that you are way down on the totem pole these days anyway!

Happy 31st birthday, “Daddy!”

By the way, so many people have asked…the picture is taken in our front yard on the swing that Mel built a few summers ago.

Merry Christmas!

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Thanksgiving on Daufuskie Island…

Road trip to see Mimi and Bapa for Thanksgiving!

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…on the road,

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…on the boat!
“Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go..”

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We visited Mimi’s school and watched the Daufukie Island Elementary School kids practice for their performance at the Gullah Festival.

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Playing with Mimi’s school kids at the Gullah Festival on Saturday.

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Even McCanless got a Daufuskie Dolphins t-shirt to wear!

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McCanless shopping around…

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and shushing other kids while a low country author was telling a story.

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Santa even visited Daufuskie!!

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Second attempt…

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McCanless felt more comfortable watching Santa from Daddy’s shoulders.

Thanksgiving 2006…

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Thanks for cooking, Nonnie!

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We got there a bit early. (everyone was still in pj’s) So, McCanless watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade while we all “helped” mom!

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Kacy’s attempt to help!

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“Kacy and JoJo”

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Baby brother, Alston, and Nonnie!

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“The girls” (yes, McCanless changed into her pj’s…before thanksgiving dinner)

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Nonnie, McCanless, “PA” and me! (McCanless is wearing an old early 90’s prom dress…she can’t go long without playing dress up) Good thing mom saved all of our old ugly prom dresses!

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She thought it was the MOST BEAUTIFUL dress she had ever seen!

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She decided to show off her new dress. She walked into the den and pranced around in front of the television that the boys were trying to watch!

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Thanksgiving Party at School!!

McCanless’ class made adorable Indian costumes for their Thanksgiving party. Ms. Jordan decided to give each student a “fitting” Indian name to each child. The day before the party, I was admiring each costume and Ms. Jordan came up to me laughing as she held out McCanless’ little tunic which read, “Morning Dove.” “How sweet,” was my first thought, untill I noticed Ms. Jordan laughing hysterically. Then I realized what she really meant, as I too began to laugh.

I knew McCanless wasn’t the most cheerful toddler most mornings, but I didn’t realize that everyone else noticed too. Apparently, Ms. Jordan can be a bit sarcastic. By “Morning Dove” she really meant Morning Bull.

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After turkey,mac and cheese, and the works, McCanless’ class went to the music room to sing their “Turkey” songs. McCanless was really a ham for the day. She jumped in the middle of the circle, danced and did everything she wasn’t supposed to do, especially sing. Ms. Jordan told me McCanless usually sings loudly and knows all of the songs. Not this day!

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Parker smiled for me, but I couldn’t get my little turkey to stand still.

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…this is all I could get!

Playing with Emmie…

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McCanless loves to accessorize these days. (and she tries to get Emmie involved)

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Bowling!!

McCanless, Mel and I went bowling last Saturday night!

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“Nice form, Daddy!”

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Here she is trying to kick the bowling ball.

Trick or Treating 2006…

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Cruising with the neighborhood girls…

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With my little bag, I walk down the street.
I knock on your door and say, “TRICK-OR-TREAT!”
…This is McCanless’ new favorite song she learned at school.

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Trick or treating at PaPa’s house.

Carving our pumpkin 2006…

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Checking it out on the porch…

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THA Halloween Carnival

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Thank goodness for makeup day…

McCanless was able to get her school pictures made on a make-up day; but as you can see, she doesn’t look thrilled to be having it done.

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I can’t believe it!

Although McCanless has been potty trained for a while, she continues to wear a diaper at night and usually for naps. Last night, I noticed that we didn’t have a diaper anywhere in the house. It was 9:00 and the first chilly night, so neither Mel nor I wanted to venture out to buy more diapers. We decided that we would “try” the no diaper thing. It worked, although I did wake up around 12 to check on her and I made her go to the potty. But this morning, she was still sleeping soundly in a dry bed!!!! Hurray!

NO MORE DIAPERS!!! I don’t have to buy one more pack of expensive baby diapers!!! I can’t remember NOT buying them at the grocery store. Who would have ever thought such a seemingly small accomplishment would be such a huge deal! Way to go, McCanless!

Look out Mel…

Lately, McCanless has been fascinated with “married Cinderella,” as she says. She loves to dress up and wear her veil.

She has been asking me to marry her along with her daddy. I tried to explain that Mommy and Daddy were married as I showed her my wedding album. She was amazed and asked if she could go to our wedding.

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Here she is showing me her “married ring.”

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Another first…

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I put her first pair of knee socks on her today, and she didn’t mind them, but now she wants to wear all of her socks up to her knees. (even the short frilly ones)
She looked ‘really cute’ after I took this picture. She put on her Cinderella bride dress complete with high heels, veil and frilly white socks pulled up to her knees. I couldn’t get a picture of her because I was laughing so hard. Of course she became so angry, she threw her veil at me because I was laughing at her!

Sneak Peak at Halloween…

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We were so thrilled that McCanless finally decided that she wanted to be Dorothy again, that I showed her the costume that I’ve been hiding for a few weeks now. (A while back when I ordered it, she changed her mind and has since changed it each day.) She would not take it off and has worn the shoes everyday. I did make her take them off for school, and hid them from her. (and Mel)

State Fair 2006

This year it seemed that everyone wanted to go to the fair with McCanless! (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.,etc.) Which is great, but we decided that Mommy, Daddy and McCanless needed a little bit of family time!

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She doesn’t look so thrilled in this photo, but McCanless loved “Dakota,” the pony she was riding! She screamed when she had to get off!

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We had a wonderful time. McCanless especially loved all of the animals!

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…and we all loved the food!!

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Daddy and McCanless are fearless! Mommy was so nervous!

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…after all of the rides, numerous trips through the animal barns, and a few hot dogs later, we all were exhausted! (We ended up having to go to the closest Target to find a silky because during all of the fun, we lost her favorite pink one!!)

…and as most of you know, she CANNOT sleep with out silky!

Lunch Date with Parker…

McCanless and Parker enjoy a lunch date at McDonalds this week.

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So many play dates, so little time…

“Sleeping” Snow White…Shhhh!

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Just had to capture this. This is my “sleeping” Snow White. When I find McCanless on the floor, bed, etc. like this, I must kiss her to wake her.

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Ripley’s Aquarium

Kacy, Mommy and McCanless went to the aquarium last week. It took a while for McCanless to warm up to the whole “fish” thing, but as soon as she realized that Ariel, the little mermaid, loves fish she didn’t mind them at all. In fact, she didn’t want to leave!

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This is a picture of Kacy and McCanless looking up at the huge shark swimming over us. McCanless didn’t like it at all. (doesn’t look like Kacy does either) McCanless said the shark had ugly teeth.

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Go Foxes!

We love taking McCanless to the Red Fox games. (even though Daddy played football at Heathwood Hall and Mommy cheered at REL) Oh well, when in Rome…

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McCanless and her friend, Lakyn, loved cheering with the Red Fox cheerleaders!

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Our little Red Fox cheerleader!

The First of Many, I’m sure…

This is a picture of McCanless with her new school firends at the first birthday party of the year.

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Chuck E. Cheese is always so much fun!

McCanless’ first school picture day…

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Well, she missed it thanks to Daddy! Arriving to school 45 minutes late in 2K means you miss pictures. Oh well, I guess there’s always 3K picture day.

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I thought I’d take a few pictures myself…and of course McCanless had to ham it up! She is way too much like her daddy and it’s beginning to scare me!

Pumpkin Patch 2006

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October 2006

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This is McCanless’ kitty, Bally, a stray kitty that “found us” in October 2003, just before McCanless was born. They love each other! McCanless drags him everywhere and he allows her.

Daddy’s turn again..

Back to school means Daddy is in charge of mornings again. This year I’ve been especially mindful about getting clothes out for McCanless in the mornings. Usually, I leave her clothes, panties, socks, shoes, hair brush, bands, and bows all on her bed, and her book bag on the floor in front of the door.(you never know what Mel may forget)

Lately, I’ve also been fixing her breakfast, juice, and toothbrush before I leave my two sleeping beauties. (McCanless is no longer going to Ms. Susan’s house, so we…no, Mel doesn’t have the luxury of having Ms. Susan dress and feed her in the mornings.) She is in First Baptist 2-K five days a week now!

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The one morning I didn’t have her clothes waiting…Mel dresses her in a summer dress, hot pink Crocs and didn’t bother to brush her hair. (probably didn’t get to the teeth for that matter) I hope he fed her!
Let’s hope this gets better…

Forgot to mention…tomorrow is PICTURE DAY!!

Cinderella put on a show!

Last Friday night, Mel, McCanless and I had dinner at Biggs. (The Peach Farm in McBee) There were a couple of guys singing and playing their guitars, and McCanless took it upon herself to help entertain the crowd.

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It wasn’t long before she had others dancing along with her!

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Still a ham, just like her daddy!

We’re getting ready!

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When I mentioned going to the attic to get out the Halloween things soon, McCanless was so excited, we had to get them out tonight! We had fun playing with the make-up from last year.

McCanless and Mommy on Daufuskie

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We did it!

Today was McCanless’ first day of 2-year-old kindergarten!

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McCanless had to pack a few “friends” to take along with her.

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A brief “McCanless” moment, and we were back on track and ready to go!

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Things were going well! McCanless was excited and even had a flower to give Ms. Jordan.

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Well, until we got there! As we pulled into the parking lot, McCanless looked at me and firmly said, “I’m not going to see Ms. Jordan.” I looked at Mel and knew that she meant what she said. I was ready to turn around and take her back home. Mel wouldn’t let us go. “She will be fine..she’ll love it,” he said.

Each step closer to her room, she held onto me tighter and tighter. I had to do what I once thought was the most horrible thing a mother could ever do. I had to pass her on to her teacher and walk out of the door with her screaming, “MOMMY!”

I was so upset…with Mel for not letting me take her home…with that teacher who wouldn’t know how to hug her the way I could…with my dryer for not having her silky dry enough for her to take to school…with that woman in the hall that said, “wait until she goes to first grade…then wait until she goes to college.” Was that supposed to make me feel better?

I was about to turn around and get my munchkin when I noticed that she wasn’t crying anymore. One day down…and guess what? She absolutely loved it and cried to stay when I picked her up. She sang, “Little Bunny Foo Foo” all day and spoke of her friends and of painting, and beamed when she showed me her folder with the most beautiful First Day of School drawing.

Dancing Queen…

McCanless started a 2-year-old tap class this week and LOVED it! Here she is showing off some of her moves.

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Labor Day on Daufuskie…

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McCanless and I spent Labor Day weekend on Daufuskie with Mimi and Bapa.

Daddy’s little girl… or so he would like to believe!

I had to buy this little shirt to boost Daddy’s ego!

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I always knew Mel dreamed of a cutie in boots and “hot pants”…unfortunately, that isn’t me!

Meet the Teacher day!

Today Mel and I took McCanless to meet her new 2-year-old kindergarten teacher, Ms. Jordan. She was so ready and so excited to show off her new bookbag.

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That is, until we walked into the classroom. She latched onto me, pouted and began talking in “baby talk.” As we chatted with Ms. Jordan and signed all of the necessary forms, McCanless began playing with all of her supplies that were in her bookbag. I thought, “Okay, maybe this isn’t so bad…now Ms.Jordan will see her sorting, stacking and building with the various size boxes. She will DEFINITELY be impressed with her creativeness and logic!! (wink)…and hopefully overlook her short lived little “mood.”

As I smiled and settled back into the list of mom duties, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the box of wipes go hurling through the room. She began throwing each and every ‘McCanless’ labled supply across the room. As she flung herself onto the floor and screamed, I noticed another mom raise her eyebrow, as if to silently reprimand me. I was horrified. What a great first impression.

The irony is McCanless began to cry as soon as we walked out of the room. She wanted to go back to school.

YEE HAW!

We took McCanless to the Rodeo in Hartsville last week. See for yourself what a wonderful time she had!

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BPA sponsored the Rodeo and ironically, the sign was on the gate held in the bulls. (One cowboy got hurt, but they ended up calling the ambulance instead of BPA, thank-goodness)

Aunt Kacy and Me…

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Go Cocks! The Gamecock Kick-off Party!

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Early in the evening, when she wasn’t too sure about Cocky.

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Of course, Ms. Susan was there. (a big Gamecock herself) McCanless had to sit with her for a while, too!

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Last night, Mel, McCanless and I went to the annual Gamecock Club Football Kickoff dinner/meeting. (complete with Cocky and USC cheerleaders) I dolled up McCanless in her finest USC dress, bow and all. Mel, of course, wore his Gamecock Stadium Pants and I in black and white…a truly spirited family!

At first McCanless was a bit timid and wouldn’t talk to many of the crazed fans, especially not Cocky or the cheerleaders. After a brief encounter with Cocky, a picture or two with the cheerleaders, and dinner, she was ready to roll. Literally. As the “meeting” was going on, McCanless was a bit restless and wanted to get closer to the cheerleaders.

She cautiously walked over to them and for the next hour, McCanless sat in the middle of the USC cheerleaders and put on her best show yet. She rolled, exposing the frilly panties she had on. She cheered. She showed off her new dance moves. She talked about Matthew and Jacob and all of her friends at Ms. Susan’s. She even asked them if they could spin like her. Before I knew it, half of the USC cheereleading squad was teaching her how to skip! They were all lined up, hand in hand, with McCanless right in the middle while the garnet and black sea of fan listened intently to Tommy Suggs rant and rave about the upcoming season. She was in bliss! After the speech the girls grabbed McCanless and ran up to the front to cheer. She stood right in front of the crowd, clapped her hands and cheered along with them! They even picked her up to lead the infamous “GAME….COCKS” crowd cheer. They held her up and swayed her back and forth to lead the crowd.

She was in heaven….uhhh, or maybe I was. Regardless, we all had so much fun, but as luck would have it, my camera battery died just before she got up the courage to go talk to the cheerleaders. Oh well, there is always next year…

…spoken like a true Gamecock! Go Cocks!!

P.S. There may be pictures of her on the Gamecock Club website soon!
(click on the green underlined Gamecock Club, mom)

A new trick!

McCanless can snap! Not only did she learn to sing “A Spoon Full of Sugar” watching Mary Poppins, she now thinks she can clean up her toys or complete various tasks with just a snap of her fingers. (hope she doesn’t keep up this snapping thing, people who don’t know, think she snaps at me)

Choo! Choo!

McCanless took her first train ride in late July this year! Unfortunately, we were traveling to Florida for a family funeral, but we all enjoyed the train as much as McCanless did! Mel has always loved trains, and has such fond memories of riding trains with his family as a child. He wanted McCanless to have that same happy experience he had growing up.

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The only thing you can count on with a train is it being delayed! We arrived at the train station at midnight ready to jump on our sleeping car and have a good night sleep. Our train didn’t arrive until 3 AM! (And yes, McCanless was up the entire time!) She is definitely her father’s daughter.

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Daddy slept up top and Mommy and McCanless snuggled down below.

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A tired momma (sans makeup) after a very long night!

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We got up, had breakfast and were almost there!

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This was taken on the way home. I guess we were both excited! We boarded the train just before lunch, had lunch in the dining car, took a nap, had dinner and we were home that night.

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On this trip, McCanless took a nap up top.

The Byerly Bunch…

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All of the Byerly cousins gathered together for one last summer beach trip. We all stayed at Aunt Betty and Uncle Byron’s beach house in Surfside.

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McCanless’ First “Real” Haircut!!

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She was a bit nervous and thought that it would hurt!

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Next was Daddy’s turn! McCanless took this after she told him, “it won’t hurt, I promise.” She even held his hand and told him it would be alright!

McCanless’ First Trip “Up the Creek”

Last week Mel, McCanless and I took a trip around Prestwood and down Black creek. McCanless loved seeing our house from the boat, and surprisingly loved the 2 1/2 hour ride.

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It has been a while since Daddy did this. (He had a boat as a child and loved summers in Hartsville)

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Our house from the creek!

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My Aunt Sherrill ties the knot, FINALLY!!

Mom, Kacy and I went to Florida this weekend for Sherrill and Kurt’s wedding party. We had such a great time!! McCanless spent the weekend with Daddy…and they both survived!

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My aunt Hayley, aunt Sherrill, Nonnie, Kacy and Me.

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These are Hayley’s sons, Daniel and little Noah. (our little surfer cousins…they live in Pawley’s)

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We danced all night and had so much fun!

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…doing the family “Fig Newton Dance.”

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Kacy felt the need to serenade the new couple.

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Our new “Uncle Kurt.” Congrats, Sherrill and Kurt!!

Showcase Day at “Miss Brenda’s”

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BB and PaPa came to see what McCanless has learned this summer! McCanless stopped during one “performance,” pointed and explained to her friend that, “that is BB over there.”

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The best of buds… usually!

McCanless and Anne-Hackett have always been great pals. (more like sisters…they love each other one minute, then fight like siblings the next)

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July 2006 visiting Anne-Hackett.

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June 2005

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February 2004

Cross your fingers!! (and a small plug)

Mel just sent out about 300 post cards to potential buyers (upscale men’s clothing shops all over the southeast) for his new collegiate apparel line aka, stadium pants. His partners will be showing the collection in NY and Charlotte this month. Wish us luck!!

If you haven’t yet, go see his website. Mel did it all! (I even took the photos of Mel in his pants, in our den! I should show you the photos uncropped!)

Mel and Tygh’s webiste: www.stadiumpants.com or www.penningtonandbailes.com

Sales from the website are picking up everyday, which is great considering the guys weren’t expecting much this soon from the website! Thanks for spreading the word!

Also, if you have time, check out their partner’s website www.castawayclothing.com. Mel worked on their website also. Neat guys, and great clothes.

McCanless loves dance!!

These pictures were taken very quickly, because McCanless wanted me OUT! The first day of dance, Mel took her and he said he dropped her off by her room and sat in the waiting area with the other moms, feeling a bit out of place in his dark suit and bow tie. I guess I forgot to tell him that this dance class is really for toddlers AND moms or dads!!

Needless to say, she marched right on it and didn’t need mommy or daddy there, and remains that way. She doesn’t want me there, much to my dismay! It kills me to listen to the music and tiny feet stomping and not be able to watch her. I begged the dance instructor to put in a one way mirror. I’m sure I’m not the first mom to request it!

“Ms. Brenda” did tell me that during one class she asked all of the girls to sit in a circle and on their turn, tell her their name and also an animal that she would like to be. As each mom and child contemplated very carefully, all ended up quietly mentioning a kitty or puppy, somtimes a fish here or there. McCanless was near the end of the circle, so I thought sure “Ms. Brenda” was going to tell me she repeated what the other girls said. She stood up said, “Can-Ness and I want to be an ELEPHANT!” Only McCanless! Who knows where she got that from?!?

Next Monday is “showcase” day, where we will get to see what she has learned. As usual, McCanless will probably be the only one there with 15 grandparents/aunts/relatives. Someone else has GOT to have another child in this family!

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McCanless is in a toddler “dance” class this summer, and LOVES it!

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Daufuskie Days…

We all spent a wonderful weekend on Daufuskie with the Haarlow clan last weekend.

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McCanless, Molly, Andrew and Bapa “Lady Riding.”

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Hi Molly!!

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This was the morning Mimi all got us up and all dressed alike for a family photo. (Can you imagine trying to get 9 adults, 3 toddlers and an infant to all look in the same direction, AND smile?)

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Daddy took this after a short lived “time-out” session. (It’s hard to time out on the beach..but McCanless hugged me and PROMISED to be good)

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Needless to say, McCanless and Andrew had a better idea. (They quickly shed their cute matching white outfits and found more fun)

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Daddy and Aunt Liz even got a little sun!

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On the last night, Mimi and Bapa loaded up all the grandkids on the golf cart and headed out…parents did too! We had a nice, child-free dinner! Thanks Mimi and Bapa!

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We couldn’t quite figure out where to stick baby Sophia!

Fourth of July fun…

McCanless and I spent the fourth of July in Surfside with my mom and sisters. We always love to watch the golf cart parade. This year we were ready for the carts with water guns!

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Kacy was determined to get them back!

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McCanless got “squirted” by a water gun and had to go change. We handed over our guns to the neighbors. (because for some reason, when anyone saw that we had them, we got soaked!)

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We made cupcakes!! Yum, McCanless’ favorite!

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That night, we went to the beach to watch the fireworks. McCanless loved them!

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…and what’s the 4th without ice cream!?

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She LOVES it!

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There she goes again, streaking down the beach! (That’s Nonnie trying hard to catch her)

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Playdate with Parker…

Parker’s mommy couldn’t find a babysitter yesterday, so he came to play with McCanless! They were both so excited about going to the pool, they put on their bathing suits and swimmies at 9:00 AM and were ready to go! Good thing it took me about an hour to pack up my entire house for the pool trip because the pool opens at 10.

We had to strip out of the swim suits (that were on wrong anyway), apply sunblock with a fight from McCanless, fix hair..another fight from McCanless because she wanted Parker to wear a bow, put swimmies back on, pack snacks (which made them both want a snack…and resulted in a “mine” fight), pack balls, tea set, dive sticks, rubber ducky, baby doll, towels, baby sunscreen, face block, a change of clothes for each and finally, we were ready. As we loaded up the golf cart, Parker announced he had to go potty….For those of you with twins…I not only admire you, I am so, so thankful that you have them and not me!!!

It actually was a fun day, and McCanless had an amazing discovery when I took both of them to the pool potty! As I stripped Parker down, and held him up to the potty, McCanless grabbed her mouth with both hands and started laughing hysterically! I thought, “well, this is the first time she has seen a “boy” go potty, I guess.” When I asked her what was so funny, she replied smiling, “Look mommy, he has a ponytail” and laughed out loud.

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They were both going after the ball here. Notice McCanless has her “claws” in Parker’s back. She had quite a difficult time sharing.

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I could NEVER get them both to look at the camera at the same time!!

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More Bible School Pictures…

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McCanless and NJ…best buds!

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McCanless at the clay table, her favorite!

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McCanless loves cheesing!

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I think that is a cupcake in her hand and on her face??!!

Bible School at St. Bart’s

McCanless and I are both in bible school this week! I signed up as a volunteer, and expected to have to drop off a crock pot of taco meat, or a dozen cupcakes or so. Turns out, I wear a big blue Jewish robe, have a tribe of 8 pre-teen boys and a girl or two each night that I “lead” throughout a mock Jerusalem marketplace. It really is fun and McCanless is having a ball, even if she is in the nursery. They peek out every so often to sing with the group and walk around watching the “big kids.”

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McCanless and her friend, Nancy Jane (NJ) are the only 2’s in the group. They get to have their dinner in the nursery and decide when they want to join the rest of the bible schoolers in the parish hall. Most of the time, they would rather play in the nursery. Tonight they made two big lumpy balls out of brown clay. I’ll definitely have to find a place to showcase her first bible school art project.

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I’ll have to get more pictures from the church. There was a sweet one taken of McCanless and Nancy Jane singing with the big kids and copying their arm movements. They stood in awe and tried so hard to do what everyone else was doing.

Connor Newsome’s 2nd Birthday Party at Prestwood!

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Mati, Connor (birthday boy), McCanless and little Connor

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Parker, too!

She did it!

We can’t believe it, but our munchkin is potty trained! Just as I thought, McCanless had to decide when and how she was going to do it herself. Several weeks ago, we bought her princess panties and that was all it took. She by-passed the pull-ups, and told me one day she hated her diapers. (which still poses a problem at bedtime…we aren’t quite ready to go all night) I have to fight her to wear a diaper every night. I am so proud of her. She has only had a few “mess ups,” which are usually when she is too busy to think about going to the potty. I’m amazed at how easy it was for her, my little independent one.

Still my little princess…

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New friends…

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McCanless met a few new friends at the mall. They had a great time together!

At Mimi’s playground in Hilton Head…

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Prestwood pool…

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I was trying to take a picture of her new freckles.

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It’s summer!!

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We have already had such a great summer! McCanless and I have been to Surfside with Nonnie, we went to Hilton Head to visit Mimi and Bapa with Daddy and we go to the Prestwood CC pool almost everyday!

We have pig tails!!

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Silly girl!

Visiting Mimi and Bapa on Daufuskie Island…

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On the ferry to Daufuskie…

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Even Berry rides the ferry! McCanless and Berry are such great friends!

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McCanless loves Bapa!

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A snack for the ride!

One of her new favorites is a “peanut jelly” sandwich.

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Yum, yum!

A turtle in our yard!

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Happy Graduation, Kacy!

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All of the siblings together. (Kate, Me, baby brother, Alston and the new grad, Kacy) McCanless spent a long weekend with Mimi and Bapa on Daufuskie.

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She wore my USC graduation cap and gown! School isn’t over for her yet, though. She will begin grad school classes in a couple of weeks.

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This is how we found her!

The Easter bunny visited McCanless!!

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She especially loved the Elephant game! (the trunk shoots little butterflies out of his trunk and nets are used to “catch” them)

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McCanless and Daddy had to go and try out the new pink princess fishing pole from the Easter bunny!

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Aunt Liz came over to see what the Easter bunny brought her!

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Ready for church!

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Egg Hunt at St. Bartholomew’s

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Okay, enough of all this egg hunt stuff…McCanless became bored hunting eggs and took a break on the swings.

Lunch at Grandmother’s House (Grandmother Redfearn)

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Uncle Michael and Pa-Pa

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BB hid almost 50 eggs just for McCanless!

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Hogan found some too! (with Aunt Michael’s help)

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Easter Dinner at Nonnie’s house

After a long nap, McCanless and I went to Nonnie’s house for dinner. (Daddy was on call and had to work all day)

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Kate and McCanless dying Easter eggs.

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Outside with Nonnie

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Stargazing outside at Nonnie’s.

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Mommy, McCanless, Alston, Kacy and Kate

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Gone Fishin’

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McCanless LOVES to go to fishing with her new pink princess fishing pole!

Saturday at the beach

Aunt Kacy convinced Nonnie, McCanless and I to go with her to the beach for the day on Saturday. McCanless had such a great time!

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Nonnie and Kacy napping in the sun.

The Easter Bunny will be here soon!!

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Poor Daddy! He is still working on the kitchen!

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Spike ‘Canless!

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While Daddy continues to work on our kitchen, McCanless has a little fun!

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Peek-a-Boo in the new cabinets for Mommy!

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…practicing her arabesque!

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Look at those legs!

Alston and McCanless

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McCanless and “Uncle Alston” love to watch cartoons together!

Quack, Quack!

Now that it is getting so warm, McCanless and I feed the ducks almost everyday. She grabs a bag of bread, and runs out the door yelling, “Come on ducks!”

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My playset is finished!! (almost)

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We still have one slide and a rock wall to attach!

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So many playdates, so little time!

A Sonic playdate with David!!

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Hi MOM!!

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Chuck E. Cheese’s with Tripp and Parker!

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Tripp

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Parker

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The many moods of McCanless…

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To explain the Band-aid…Yesterday, while McCanless I were in the yard, she became bored of simply swinging as high as I could push her on her new swing set. As I pushed her one last time, she turned to look at me and threw her arms out and yelled, “Look Mommy, I’m flying like a bird.” As soon as she said this, her little body flew backward, she flipped 360 under her swing and hit the ground on her stomach with solid THUG! I couldn’t help myself, and I began to laugh hysterically, which only made her more upset. “It NOT funny, Mommy!” She really didn’t hurt herself at all but the princess Band-Aids bandaged her pride.

OKAY, what about this one?

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This is me at age two. Does it look like McCanless? (Or am I just in denial, and reaching at nothing?)

“You get on my nuts”

Sorry it has been so long since I’ve updated the blog! So much has been happening lately. Mel’s pants company, Mel’s political fundraising, Mel’s visit with the Vice-President, Mel deciding to rip out my kitchen and remodel it…hmmm is there a trend here?

McCanless’ vocabulary has really taken off lately. She comes up with words I can’t even believe she has heard, much less knows the meaning of. She is usually on target with the context of words, but sometimes she gets it all wrong and ends up frustrated with me because I’m laughing hysterically.

The other day, I made her clean up all of her puzzles and she shot me a mean, slanted eye look and said, “You get on my nuts, Mommy.” I had to laugh as I realized she mixed a phrase she so often directs to Mel, “You get on my nerves” and one she has heard me say probably too often, “You are driving me nuts.”

Happy Valentine’s Day…

What a Valentine’s Day. We had an early dinner at Sub Station II. (Mel is on a diet and was starving by 4:30), went home to watch “Zoe’s Dance Moves” (Elmo’s sister) and watched McCanless dance in front of the television for 1/2 an hour.

We did give McCanless a beautiful pink Sleeping Beauty dress with a hoop skirt and all, but she cried because she didn’t have the Sleeping Beauty slippers and refused to wear the Cinderella or Snow White slippers. She got over the shoes and wore purple fluff shoes, but cried when we had to pry the dress off of her for a bath.

We did have a romantic moment…we (all three) went outside to see the beautiful full moon and had a sandwich kiss.

Mel ended up sleeping with McCanless. Sleeping Beauty didn’t want her prince to leave her.

Our two year old beauty queen…

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Back Track…to the birthday

This was the invitation that Mel and I created…

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outside sleeve

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inside picture…this was taken this summer in our yard.

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Everything was pink!! We had pink lemonade, pink cake, pink straws, pink ice cream, pink balloons, and even pink “McCanless is Two” coozies! McCanless had a great time until the kids arrived! As we all sang Happy Birthday, she pouted and yelled, “Don’t sing that!” What a great day!

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Later that night, with all of her new birthday presents on and around…

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Hurricane McCanless hit!

Daddy was awarded!!

Click below to read the article in the Hartsville Messenger!!

Business Man of the Year

A Visit to see Mimi and Bapa!

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McCanless loves to ride the Ferry over to Daufuskie Island to see Mimi’s school! McCanless stayed with Mimi and Bapa on Hilton Head this past weekend while Daddy and Mommy went to Jekyll Island, GA for Aunt Michael’s wedding.

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McCanless in Hilton Head with Mimi.

A stroll in the yard…

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McCanless always wears her sunglasses when the sun is “TOO BRIGHT.”

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…and a girl must always have her purse.

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McCanless loves Bally, her kitty. Not too sure that Bally loves her…

Splish, Splash! I was taking a bath!

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McCanless loves to “cook” Daddy sandwiches!

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This is the kitchen set that Mimi and Bapa (Sarah and Bob) gave McCanless for her birthday! We had to put it in her room. Her playroom is running out of space!!

It isn’t saying much for me, but I don’t think she understands how the stove works. When I ask her to cook for me, she immediately places pots in the microwave.

I’m still working on getting birthday pictures to post…I was so busy at her party, that I only took one picture! (hint, hint…anyone that has birthday picutres please email them to me!!)

YES, this is me…

I know this isn’t the greatest picture of me as a child. Only mom would disagree with me on this one. Don’t you think this looks a bit like McCanless?
Maybe just the hair…

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What a year!!

We have been so busy with Christmas, a 2nd birthday and a cruise, and not to mention McCanless has definitely entered the terrible two’s!! I have barely had time to think straight, much less update the website…sorry. I’ll do better.

I have her birthday pictures and our cruise pictures to post, so keep up!

Catch up on a few Christmas pictures…

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Christmas #1…The Haarlows at Aunt Liz’s house!

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Cousin Molly and McCanless

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#2…The Pennington’s at BB’s house!

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We even rode in the BPA limo to see Christmas lights! (Christmas Eve)

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Santa visited our house!!

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Santa brought McCanless so much, but the biggest and best of all was the wooden play set!! Daddy still has to put it together though!!

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Then on to Nonnie’s house for breakfast!!

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A movie with Uncle Alston…

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What a day!!

McCanless loves playing dress up!

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Welcome home, Daddy! I dressed up just for you!

1st Christmas present!!!

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“Sissy” (Aunt Sherrill) sent McCanless a cow, her favorite animal! McCanless LOVES it! She is trying to ride it here.

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What does the cow say, McCanless? “MOO”

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THANK YOU, SISSY!

Hope you are having as much fun as we are this Christmas!

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McCanless’ Christmas Trees

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She has her very own mini-PINK Christmas tree in her room!

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Dancing with her baby in front of our big Christmas tree.

The Hartsville Christmas Parade

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Nonnie and McCanless rode on the Mutual float in the Christmas parade. I couldn’t get a closer picture because as soon as McCanless saw me, she wanted to get off!

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Daddy was even in the parade! He was in charge of it this year, so we saw him zooming by on our golf cart several times.

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She loved watching the horses!

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I think the bands were her favorite, though! She danced and bounced to the beat!

We visited Santa at the mall…

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Too bad this was the only picture we could get. She isn’t too fond of Santa this year. She waved and blew him kisses and told him that she wanted a slide, but she would not sit with him.

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She loved the Santa bear though!

Daddy is 30!!

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McCanless sang, “Happy Brithday to ‘Jew!'” all day long!

I pulled my old rocking horse out of the attic…

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McCanless LOVED it just as much as I did!

Biggs Reunion

To see pictures of the 2005 Biggs Reunion, go to www.biggsreunion.shutterfly.com!

To order pics…

go to www.mccanless.shutterfly.com!

Trick or Treating…

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First stop was to Mutual to visit Nonnie! (Cleopatra)

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Then to the funeral home to visit Pa-Pa!

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…then on to see BB!

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We drove down to Anne-Hackett and Peyton’s house on the golf cart and they went trick-or-treating with us!

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Here is our “neighborhood bunch” playing around!

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We had fun at Grandmother’s house, too!

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Alston even “dressed up” for the night!

“Pickin’ Cotton”

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Kacy collected cotton for her classroom so we went along. McCanless loved touching the cotton.

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More Halloween pictures coming soon!

The Thomas Hart Academy Halloween Carnival…

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My little pumpkin!

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One of McCanless’ friends, Nancy Jane was at the carnival too! (McCanless calls her N.J.)

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Sherry, Shea, Daddy and McCanless!

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Every so often, McCanless would duck into the cake walk, circle around a few times and then leave. I think she liked the music! (The cake walk is a bit like musical chairs. Music would play and everyone would walk around the cake table. When music stopped, everyone would freeze and a number would be pulled out of a hat. The person who landed on that number would win a cake from the table) I don’t think McCanless was concerned about winning a cake. She was just as happy with her bag of popcorn.

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Jacob and Caleb Caldwell!

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This isn’t a costume contest! McCanless just wanted to jump up on stage and dance with the “big girls.” Music was playing and some of the little girls were performing dance routines, and just playing around. Of course my little ham had to get up there. Not only did she dance with them, she grabbed a cowboy hat that was on stage for decoration, tossed it on top of her head and got right out front! My little chunky pumpkin was bobbing away in front of everyone!

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Halloween costume playdate!

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Nonnie gave McCanless this kitty costume. McCanless loved playing with her “tail.”

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McCanless made Halloween cupcakes for school…

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I’m still stepping on sprinkles in the kitchen!

Carving our pumpkin…

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McCanless wasn’t too sure at first about touching the “yucky” pumpkin.

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Once she saw Mommy scooping it out, she had to do it!

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Her First Trip to Riverbanks Zoo!

McCanless loves animals and we knew she would love the zoo!

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The elephants were her favorite!

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McCanless didn’t like feeding the giraffes at all! As we walked away from them, she said, “Bye-Bye cows!” (as if to say good riddance) Maybe that is why she was afraid of them..she thought they were strange cows!

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She even fed the goats. After she held out her hand to feed them, they licked it. She turned to me and said, “they licked me” then she smiled and licked it too. oh well…so much for germs.

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PINK “FA-Mingos!” as McCanless said. She loved them, but I think she was a bit confused at first because they quack like ducks. She also had fun trying to stand on one leg as they were doing.

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We rode the carousel over and over! She loved it, and cried when we had to get off. (actually, it was more of a fit)

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What a day! Mommy and Daddy had a nice, quiet ride home.

A visit to Mimi and BaPa’s house!

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Just outside…McCanless’ favorite place to be!

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To order pics, go to www.mccanless.shutterfly.com!!

Cheese!

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It never fails, when we undress McCanless for her bath, she takes off running around the house!

Little mommy…

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McCanless still loves her babies! Here she is teaching her doll how to play the piano. She grabbed her doll’s hand and pressed down on the keys. She is so funny with her dolls. I feel like I’m watching a mini me. I’ll say, “Come on McCanless, let’s go to the store.” A few minutes later I’ll hear in a high pitched -little voice, “Let go, baby….REA-DY?” She’ll tuck her baby and a baby bottle under her arm and follow me out of the door.

Her first pedicure!

“Miss Chrissy” at school decided to give McCanless a pedicure! Daddy wasn’t too thrilled, but McCanless loved them. She didn’t want to wear shoes for two days!

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Splish, Splash! I was takin’ a bath!

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The latest…

Recently, I was in the yard with McCanless and began my usual pity party. I was almost in tears watching her run all over the yard in her little pumpkin dress, and thought that surely by tomorrow she will be graduating from med school 😉 and married by the end of the weekend and my life will be over. My prissy tomboy toddler will be grown and gone forever. My bow laden chatterbox sidekick will no longer need me. Then with her scratched knees and disheveled hair (yet another bow lost) she walked right up to one of our very old, very tall pine trees. She began at the base of the tree and slowly began to follow the bark right up to the top. She threw her head back, arched her back and pointed her dainty finger as if to trace each branch.

In that instant, I realized how tiny my precious “big girl” really is. Her little body was staring up at the massive tree. She seemed so small and fragile at that moment. I wanted to scoop her up and hold her and protect her from the big giant world.

I ran up to scoop her up as my “daydream” had allowed. I wanted to hold her and never let go, I wanted to stop the clock… but she heard me coming. She sheepishly grinned at me and took off running as fast as she could, assuming that I was playing chase, as we so often do. As she giggled and yelled, “Can’t catch, can’t catch,” I laughed and played her game. I always let her think that mommy just can’t catch up with her. Suddenly our game of chase ended with a tree stump, a scratched knee and a face full of dirt. My “big girl” needed me. As I scooped up the screaming mass of pumpkin dress, legs and sweaty hair, I realized that my “big girl” really isn’t growing up too fast. She will still need me for a while to come.

Besides, who else can apply pink elephant “BanG-aids” in just the right spot?

The Hartsville Homecoming Parade 2005!

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McCanless loved the band! She actually sat and watched the parade from her stroller!! (A major accomplishment…she never sits still in her stroller)

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Update From Daddy

It’s pretty bad that I have to make a guest appearance on my own website but here goes! Tonight for the first time McCanless slept in her big girl bed without mommy or daddy having to get in bed with her until she fell asleep! Just thought that you might want to hear the good news. Now if we could only work on potty training a bit!

Labor Day…

McCanless and Mommy had a great Labor Day at the pool. Daddy joined us later on for lunch.

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Go Cocks!

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Pictures of McCanless’ friends at “Miss Susan’s”

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McCanless, Matthew and Charlie…The “two” crew. (Charlie and Matthew are already two, though. McCanless isn’t too far behind)

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McCanless loves this slide!

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This is Charlie!

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“The Crew”

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McCanless loves to take care of the “babies.” She talks to them in a cute, little high pitched voice.

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The Wild Men….would you want to keep these two!??

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This is Jacob, whom McCanless talks about everyday! She names all of her baby dolls Jacob.

Think she will drive away?

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She tries!!

The latest…

Just for kicks, I recently viewed my archives and was amazed at how far we all have evolved. McCanless is a person and Mel and I are parents. It still amazes me sometimes that I can actually say that. Mel and I are parents.

Today, I thought it would be fun to take McCanless to Burry’s Bookstore downtown. After a long nap and with diaper bag and snack in tow, we headed out the door. Proud mom and smiling toddler hand in hand, counting the steps leading off of the porch, I thought, “Yes, this is a great idea…a great learning experience and a fun outing.”

Thirty minutes later as I browsed the fiction section, McCanless sat quietly on the reading bench with her new Baby Moods book imitating various moods. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She was smiling, pouting and even sticking her tongue out at her book and peering at the mini mirror on the last page. She was laughing and talking out loud to her new friends on the pages and would often yell out, “MOMMY LOOK!”

It only took a few times of grabbing every Elmo book on the children’s shelf and a few runs around the store to get to this point. Everything was great.

Until the wind blew or the tides changed or whatever force of nature caused my little angel to immediately evolve into a “terrible two.” All of a sudden, she yelled at the top of her lungs, “I NO LIKE” and threw her book and herself onto the floor. She actually kicked and screamed and beat her hands and head on the floor. She even rolled over a few times. (Just like in the movies) Where was my sweet, innocent baby girl? I tried to find her under that screaming toddler. I tried to hold her only to get kicked in the face and every time I tried to scrape her off of the floor, she would “noodle arm” as Mel and I call it, and just melt out of my grasp. So I did what any good mother of a toddler does, I just ignored it and began searching for my book again. Of course there were glances from others in the store and I’m sure they were wondering when I was going to acknowledge my screaming child on the floor below me. (Clearly, they had NEVER raised a toddler) I was almost proud at that moment. I am a parent of a toddler, a serious triumphant feat.

I had now become a member of that elite group of experienced parents who would always look at me with my sweet baby girl, McCanless and smile and say, “Just wait.” So this is what they were talking about.

A few pictures taken By Steve Roos.

Below are just a few of many shots that Steve took after our real photo shoot by the lake. McCanless and I were running and playing in the front yard while Mel and Steve were just talking. It is amazing how he catches such great expressions and we didn’t even realize he was taking most of them.

(Plug: Steve’s website is below under LINKS..we LOVE Steve and his pictures! He is a fabulous photographer! You should see my album of McCanless!)

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Mel was chasing McCanless in the photo above.

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Miss Priss…

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Aunt Liz gave this chair to McCanless this summer. She loves to grab a juice, wrap up in “silky” and watch Elmo! (Of course we have to pull her chair out in the middle of the den and watch it with her) This is her wind down time…sometimes it works.

Day four of the new potty…

The novelty is definitely wearing off, so Mel and I aren’t going to force the issue. She still goes everytime we put her on her potty which is really only once or twice a day, but now she wants to clean it up quickly after. She hates to have anything in her new potty. She immediately says, “DIR-TY” and wants to clean up her “mess.”

Day two of the new potty…

I knew after last night, McCanless would never use her potty again. I was wrong! This morning, before Mel dressed her, he sat her on her potty and she went again!!!!!

She also said, “I love you” for the first time today! It actually sounded like “I-lus-shoe.” Mel was walking out of the door and yelled out, “I LOVE YOU” and McCanless just yelled it back to him!

Looking more like me??

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Mom says that this picture looks just like me as a child…so I had to post it! (Finally, she is beginning to look like I could quite possibly be her mother)

My big girl…already?!

I really didn’t expect this at all but lately, McCanless has been telling us when she goes “poo” or “tee tee” in her diaper. (Sorry about the baby talk) So just for fun, today I hauled the baby potty out of the attic. (Sarah gave it to McCanless a while back when I assumed potty training was far, far away)

I thought she would just play with it and think it was a new toy, so tonight when she actually used the potty, I just about had a stroke! It was the first time she sat on it with her diaper off. I’m sure it was pure luck, but nonetheless, SHE USED THE POTTY! I almost cried. I jumped up and clapped and she clapped and kept repeating, “tee tee in potty, tee tee in potty!”

I’m almost 100% positive that this potty training thing can’t be this easy, so although she has used the potty once, it may be 4 years before she does it again. I’ll keep you posted…

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It is quite the fancy baby potty with a magazine rack and TP holder!

Happy 4th of July!

We spent the 4th of July in Hilton Head with Mimi and Bobpa!

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McCanless’ first fireworks show! She loved it! “BOOM” she would say!

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This was earlier in the day. We went to a children’s show on the harbor. She had a great time singing and dancing with all of the children.

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Miss Priss …

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McCanless loves to play with her “jewels”

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Little piggies…

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She gets so silly sometimes…she loves to hear herself laugh.

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The Latest…

McCanless and I have been so busy this summer. I have many more pictures to share with you, but these days I’m finding very little time to do anything. I’ll get them posted at some point.

McCanless is all over the place! She is growing so tall and is beginning to put words together to form sentences. Today, she was attempting to shove her doll in her stroller and became very frustrated. (I’ve noticed lately that she has NO patience) She looked at me with a very stern face and said, “Baby too big.” She loves to find bugs and look at them, but wouldn’t dare touch them or get too close. She says, “oooooooh gross!” and “BUUUUUG”

Today, as we were about to flush a spider that we found, McCanless said, “Kick, Kick, Kick in POOOOOOL.” I guess she thought the spider was having a nice swim in his pool.

She is a social butterfly and such a chatterbox! She waves and speaks to anyone that passes her. She will suddenly stop anything that she is doing and say, “HI DADDY…HI DADDY…HI DADDY..etc…” until Mel looks at her and says, “HI McCanless.” When she tells you hello, you must look at her, acknowledge her and return the gesture! What a little bossy thing she has become.

McCanless loves to dance and Mel says she looks like a drunk performing an African tribal dance, but it looks like beautiful, graceful baby ballet to me!

She is so sweet and loves to give hugs, kisses and zerberts! What a fun, cutie pie she is! We love her so much!

McCanless and Mommy love to go to the “POOOOOL”

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Art Class with Mommy…

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First, you start with a bit of paint…

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and get it everywhere!

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at least we were on the front porch!

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Our New Toy!

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McCanless LOVES her new golf cart, almost as much as Mommy and Daddy!

Beach Bound

Mommy, McCanless, and Nonnie are headed on a two week vacation at the beach in Surfside, Charleston, and then on to see Mimi in Hilton Head. We will be posting sunburned buns from the road. Happy 4th of July!

So many playdates so little time!

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Anne-Hackett and McCanless always have fun together!

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Daddy’s new project…

Mel has a new hobby..check out his weblog @ melpennington.com. He just couldn’t stand it; he was so jealous of McCanless’ site, that he had to create one of his own!

McCanless loves being on vacation!

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“Tee-toes” are her favorite!

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…what a hard life.

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Room service, please…

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McCanless wasn’t too impressed with the room service. She prefers her mother’s mac and cheese!

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In the kitchen with Mommy

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As you can see, McCanless loves to be in the kitchen with mommy. She wants to “shee” everything.

Fancy Shoes

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McCanless still loves to prance around the house in her fancy shoes.

McCanless is going to miss school this summer!

McCanless had fun her last week of school…Miss Susan even brought out the big BANZAI slide! (Mommy forgot to pack her bathing suit and cover up..oh well)

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What are McCanless and Charlie doing back there!?!

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Miss Susan said that McCanless and Charlie were too afraid to try the BANZAI slide, so they just hung out by the pool.

McCanless’ cousin, Molly…

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This is Molly, Jeff and Casey’s little girl!

The Latest…

McCanless is beginning to “put it all together.” Her vocabulary is expanding and she has been saying two and three words at a time. She even said, “I ON KNOW” and held out her little hands the other day when I asked her where her blanket was.

Mel and I were in D.C. this weekend for a friend’s wedding. McCanless went to the beach with my sisters and mother. Mom said McCanless met a “friend” on the beach. He was 19-months-old and a bit afraid of the water. McCanless, being the water baby that she is, placed her hand on his back and urged him to go with her in the water and would say to him, “Whee.” (which is what she would say each time a wave passed by) She loved the water and even went under a few times. She would jump right up and wipe her eyes off, smile and want to go right back in! Mom said she finally had to drag her out of the water kicking and screaming.

The Latest…

…did I mention McCanless has entered the “terrible two’s” already? NO is her favorite word these days. She will even say, “NO MA-MA.” She is a bit stubborn at times and get frustrated easily…hummm, did she get that from Mel?

She really amazes me at how many words she recognizes now. She attempts say many words, but I think I’m the only one who actually knows what she is saying. She loves to go “side” and see the “LAAAAA.” (outsde to see the lake) She also loves to help me get the “MILL” (mail) everyday. She also calls our puppies, “EMM-EMM-EMM” and “MILL MILL.” (Emmie and Molly) She definitely understands yes and no. She will bob her head up and down or shake it from side to side in response to a question.

She loves to “REEEEE” her books now, too. (over and over and over) She has one book of animals, and she loves to point to the animal and make the sound.

She continues to amaze both of us with how much she learns everyday. She listens to every word we say, and will stop and stare at our mouths as we say them. It is as if she is just studying our lips and trying to figure it all out.

Playing outside with Daddy!

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In my playroom…

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A new trick!

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Miss Priss with new shoes from BB!

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Ready for church!

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McCanless in Hilton Head with Mimi!

These pictures were taken by Bethany Saleeby. Bethany is an art teacher in Hilton Head with Mimi. (Her family lives in Hartsville)

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Happy Easter

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The Easter Bunny visited McCanless!

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The egg hunt at church had to be moved inside…

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McCanless found one egg…and daddy found one for her too! McCanless was too busy trying to open her egg to look for more. Oh well, better luck next year.

Playing outside…

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This is the sandbox that Mimi gave me!
(Mimi is Sarah)

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Everytime McCanless hears a loud noise, she makes this face and looks so surprised. I think she heard an airplane when I took this picture.

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McCanless is calling for her puppies to join her on the deck.

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..a girl can’t be without her purse. (McCanless will throw anything with a strap over her shoulder and carry it like a purse. Last Sunday, she was “wearing” my heels around on her little arms.)

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Swinging with Kate and Nana on the swing that daddy built her last year.

This is McCanless’ new house!

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Mimi helped sew it together, and mommy and I decorated it!
(now we just have to find a place for it)

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

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McCanless made a shamrock necklace at “school,” but ate all of the Apple Jacks that were on it!
Oh well!

McCanless loves to play outside!

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The Easter Bunny!

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We ALMOST Have Ponytails!!

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1st Dental Appointment!

Today, McCanless had her very first dental check-up! She met the dentist this year when she went with mommy, but today was her very own appointment!

Teeth were great; McCanless was not! She didn’t mind Dr. Gardner, she just HATED sitting still! She wanted to run around the office and check out the other patients. She especially loved the sounds! (all of those buzzing, and hissing sounds that make make most of us cringe)

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This is just before we left. I was trying to get her to show off her smile, but I should have taken a picture BEFORE I told her we were going. As soon as I mentioned the word “go,” she was so excited and headed for the door.

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Look mom, no cavities!

McCanless’ First Milkshake!

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Yum, Yum! McCanless loved it!!

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McCanless LOVES pasta!

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She wanted to give me a taste!

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First Birthday Pictures

Steve Roos of Ashcraft Studios in Hartsville took these pictures of McCanless!

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Sweet Girl!

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A new outfit from Nana!

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My Little Love Bug!

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Do not get soap in my eyes!

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Although it doesn’t look like it in this picture, McCanless loves bathtime!

What a busy girl!

McCanless loves to play in her playroom!

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McCanless finds her shadow!

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My Sweet little Valentine!

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Can the terrible two’s come early?

…one minute this way

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and the next minute so very sweet!

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McCanless’ school party!

Miss Susan emailed us pictures of McCanless and her friends at her “school” birthday party. Mommy and McCanless made confetti cupcakes for the occasion!

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Her chalkboard table…

McCanless and mommy decided to paint the playroom table with chalkboard paint. McCanless just loves it!
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McCanless’ First Birthday Party!

What a day! McCanless had such a great 1st birthday party! She had eight grandparents, nine little friends and lots of other “big people” at her party who love her dearly!
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January 5, 2005

We celebrated McCanless’ true birthday at Rancho Grande with Carl, Brucie, Tommy, Terri, Kacy, Kate, and Alston! Afterwards, we went home to open the first round of birthday presents! Her birthday turned out to be a week-long event!

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Playing around…

After her birthday party on Saturday, McCanless had a great time before Grandmama and Granddaddy headed back to Hilton Head.

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Our little princess is one!!

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Almost One!

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McCanless will be one on January 5, 2005!

Happy New Year!

McCanless didn’t quite make it to see the ball drop, but she had fun anyway!
(McCanless loves her sleep, and rarely stays up past 7:00)

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SHE IS WALKING!!!!

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McCanless has been able to take a few steps at a time for about a month now, but she has really taken off lately! I think is began when she became very frustrated one day. She was holding her dolls and trying to get across the room. She couldn’t hold on to both of them and crawl at the same time, so she just walked! Now she walks everywhere! (or attempts to walk..she still hasn’t mastered it yet, but she is getting there)

McCanless playing with her dolls…

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McCanless is such a girly girl. Her most favorite thing to do is sit in my lap in the mornings when I put on my make-up. She loves to plunder through my makeup bag, which is why Aunt Kacy gave her a makeup bag for Christmas! McCanless will brush her hair, and “put on her lipstick,” and even dry her hair with her new battery operated hair dryer!

McCanless also has a silver bracelet that her grandmama (Sarah) gave her. She wears it everyday, and will hold out her hand to put it on every morning!

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She is kissing her baby.

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This is McCanless finding her doll’s “EYE.” She can point out eyes, nose and head, and is beginning to recognize many other words. She looks at the fireplace and says HAAAA, which means HOT. Any time she sees a small dog or cat she says KEE KEE in a high pitched voice. (I think this is because she hears me talking to the pets in a higher voice???) She can also sign for the word MORE. We began teaching her a bit of sign language, and she really caught on quickly. We just need to keep up with it!

McCanless’ First Christmas!

We had such an exciting Christmas this year! We visited Grandmama and Granddaddy in Hilton Head, we spent Christmas Eve at Great Na Na’s house, went to PaPa and Brucie’s house on Christmas morning and then to Nana’s house on Christmas day! McCanless loved it all!

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McCanless even helped pick out our Christmas tree.

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She loved the lights!

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We watched the Hartsville Christmas parade too!

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Christmas morning…

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McCanless loves to be outside!

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McCanless’ first Thanksgiving!

McCanless, Mel and I went to my mother’s house for Thanksgiving this year.

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My sisters and mom worked to get everything ready while McCanless sat and watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

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This is a picture of me, my sister Kacy, my mother, and my sister Kate.

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McCanless helped say the blessing.

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We also took Thanksgiving dinner to “Doll Baby,” who has helped mom around the house for a very long time. She was so happy to see all of us and loved seeing McCanless. What a wonderful Thanksgiving!

McCanless’ first USC/CU game!

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McCanless was very excited…good thing she didn’t really know what was going on!

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The “McCanless Kiss” to make daddy feel better about the game.

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The latest…

No more bottles! McCanless is a big girl now! She just began to refuse her bottle a couple of weeks ago, and is much happier with her sippy cup. I loaded up all of those hard-to-find, expensive Dr. Brown bottles and sent them to the attic. I can’t believe how quickly she is growing. What a personality she has, too. She is very strong willed and quite full of herself…hmmm, who does that sound like.

What a happy girl!

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We surprised Grandmama and Granddaddy last weekend!

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McCanless loves to visit Grandmama!

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McCanless liked Grandmama’s much better…

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and Aunt Liz’s even more!

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We had a great Halloween!

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McCanless’ First Halloween!

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Wow! What a busy weekend we had with our little bumble bee! McCanless had a costume playgroup, went to the Thomas Hart Halloween Carnival, and “Trick or Treated” all over town!

Halloween Playgroup!

It seems that all of Mommy’s high school friends had babies this year!
We all got together for a Halloween Costume Playgroup!

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This is Tripp and Parker…Elmo and Humpty Dumpty!

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Except “Aunt MiMi”… she brought her beautiful niece, Gracie!

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Always the joker, just like her daddy! I guess she should have been a clown!

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Mr. Connor “Blue” Newsome

THA Halloween Carnival

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McCanless loved the Halloween Carnival! She was so excited to be apart of it all!
She loved watching all of the little monsters, pumpkins and devils running around!

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Scary McCanless!

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McCanless still loves to take a bath!

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A Visit to the Pumpkin Patch…

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We found the perfect one!

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McCanless’ first State Fair!

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McCanless was so excited to be at the fair!
She loved all of the sights, sounds and people!

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We realized that McCanless will eat anything!
She tasted everything that we ate, and loved it all!

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Nana, Kacy and mommy took McCanless to the fair!

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McCanless loves her aunt Kacy!

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This is Grandaddy Tommy at the lottery booth.
Grandaddy loved that Kerry sticker on McCanless!!
(I don’t think her Daddy will)

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Make a wish, McCanless!

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She loved watching the baby ducks slide down into the water!

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We saw chickens…

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and bunnies…

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and cows!

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After a quick nap, she was ready to go again!

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Kacy won “Nemo” for McCanless!

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This is McCanless’ cousin Andrew!

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Andrew turned a year old in July.

The Latest…

McCanless now refuses to eat her jar baby food! One week at grandmama Sarah’s and its all over! She now eats mashed potatoes, fruit, grits, any meat and just about any vegetable. I guess I’m going to have to start cooking now!

She is so much fun! She still laughs all of the time and smiles at everyone. One of her favorite things to do is look at books and pictures of faces. She loves “chatting” with people in the grocery store. She is still such a social girl.

Her grandaddy Bob taught her how to play “Where’s McCanless…there she is!” (kinda like peek-a-boo) She is so cute when she plays…she hides her face and pops up and giggles! What a fun age! We are having so much fun with her.

The Latest…

McCanless spent the night away for the first time this week, which was a bit traumatic for me. McCanless was fine. Mel and I met her grandmother Sarah and grandaddy Bob Tuesday night to spend the rest of this week in Hilton Head! She got in her car seat smiled and waved bye, bye.

I am having wisdom teeth extracted and knew I couldn’t keep up with McCanless. She is such a busy body. Even her granddaddy Bob says she is much like her grandmother and Mel…always into everything and such a “people baby.” Sarah and McCanless have already been shopping and playing, visiting friends and having a wonderful time! I wonder if she’ll want to come home!??

McCanless and Daddy playing a tune…

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McCanless and Nana are ready for Halloween!

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Her first pair of “Big Girl Shoes”

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Crawling?

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Although McCanless has mastered crawling, she would much rather stand…or “crab crawl.” (as we call it) Not quite sure how she does it, but she loves to scoot around just as she is above.

McCanless is pulling up on EVERYTHING!

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Getting started… usually the tricky part

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Getting there…

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Almost…

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TA DA!!

Go Cocks!

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McCanless loves bathtime!

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She can still fit in the sink! (not for long)

“DA DA DA DA” is all we hear now!

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McCanless is a very “vocal” baby!
She gets very excited and shouts, “DA DA DA!”

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It is getting tougher to put McCanless down for a nap!

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McCanless loves her Uncle Alston!

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The latest on Lillie McCanless…

McCanless is growing so fast…too fast! She now has 8 teeth and is tasting everything she can get her hands on…fruit, toast, cheese, cake, dirt…everything! She loves pulling up and has mastered crawling, she just doesn’t care for crawling much. She would much rather stand.

She was fitted for her first pair of “real” shoes this week, and hated it! (Although she loved the little bells they put over her laces) She kept her feet curled up and cried the entire time. I think it is going to take a while to get adjusted to “big girl shoes.”

Our sweet little girl…

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The latest… 7 months and counting!

McCanless is so much fun! She is always smiling, laughing and “talking” to us, and anyone who looks her way. She has 6 teeth and several more about to pop up.

I began teaching again last week and McCanless is staying at a home daycare with 4 other young children. I’m teaching part-time, so she is only there from 8-12 everyday, but she loves it. She really enjoys the other children and is always so excited to see them. Mel takes her every morning and I pick her up…it is working out well for all of us.

She hasn’t started crawling yet, but is very independent and wants to go…constantly! (such a busy-body) She has begun to pull up, and still prefers to be standing or sitting rather than on her belly…who knows if she will ever crawl?!!

I swear she called out “ma-ma” recently, but Mel thinks I’m crazy. She still “sings” often (which is a high pitched squeel) and laughs at herself when she does so. Usually she “sings” in restaurants, the grocery store and church…
what fun!

July Beach Trip

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What a sweet baby!

A dress and a cap?!

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Musical Baby…

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She loves making “music”

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McCanless has a great time trying to feed herself!

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McCanless loves to show off her new teeth!

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We visited our cousins in Pawley’s in July…

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Noah and Daniel Rourke…(Hayley and Fred’s children)

Happy 4th of July!

We spent the 4th out at the Redfearn Cabin. Here is McCanless with her grandaddy Carl…1…2…3! (a little trick he loves to play with her)

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More pictures coming…soon!

The latest…

McCanless is growing so quickly, we can hardly keep up! She is so much fun and is very happy and playful. She weighs 19 lbs and is 28 inches long! She has 4 teeth already and another on the way. At times we can tell her gums bother her, but overall teething hasn’t been so bad. She is still such a good baby, always sleeping through the night and napping well. She constantly reaches for things….everything, and is always on the go, or wanting to be. (wonder who she gets that from) She can’t quite crawl yet, but she seems to want to move so badly. She gets very frustrated when she is on her hands and knees…we think she may walk first!!! We’ll see…

With all of her new teeth, McCanless is ready for bigger and better things!

My first taste of toast…

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I’m ready for the 4th of July!

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McCanless has a new friend!

Meet Connor Thomas Newsome… he was born on June 13, 2004 and weighed 7 lbs 13 oz.

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Wow, he looks so small!

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By the way, his parents are Will and Ashleigh Newsome!

The latest…

McCanless is now sitting up pretty well and loves to move about. She scoots around on her belly in her crib, but can’t quite figure out what those arms are for…she places her arms beside her and wiggles around and pushes up her bottom. She looks like a fish out of water!

She has also begun to scream out loud. We guess she has realized how to make noise intentionally, and she does often and quite loudly. She loves eating…which is probably why she is a healthy girl of 18 lbs now. One of her favorites is still sweet potatoes,but she absolutely LOVES bananas!

You’ll see below a picture of her pulling up (with help, of course) She loves standing! I’m afraid she is going to be just like her daddy, wanting to be on the move at all times.

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McCanless and mommy have so much fun together!

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Daddy and McCanless at work…

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I still love my “Exersaucer”

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McCanless has so much fun eating!

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Oh my, what a cry baby…

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Our June Photo Shoot!

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Not a happy girl…

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What a sweet baby…

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McCanless can be so silly!

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McCanless loves her “Aunt Liz”

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McCanless…

McCanless is getting so strong! She loves to hold on to our hands and pull up.

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McCanless is such a happy baby!

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Sleeping Beauty still sucks her thumb.

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Our little sailor!

McCanless loves to go outside!

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McCanless and Daddy love to read together!

But look at what they read…

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Our special little girl!

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Lounging at Myrtle Waves…

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Our first trip to Myrtle Waves!!

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McCanless and her new Exersaucer!

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Kate’s Senior Prom

Wow, May is a busy month! McCanless loved watching Kate and Alston get ready for prom!

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Kacy’s Birthday!

Happy 20th Birthday Aunt Kacy! We had a small birthday/going away dinner for Kacy. She will be in Sheridan, Wyoming all summer long, working on a dude ranch!

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McCanless and the Car Seat…

This is McCanless on her way to church. She does not like to ride in the car seat now! We have to turn up music for her and sing and talk to her while she is in the car! (Makes for LONG drives)

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Aunt Bee’s Birthday Luncheon!

This is my great great Aunt Bee!

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McCanless and her friend, Tripp Strange. (Tripp was born in January, too!)

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Look, they are holding hands!

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Pouty Little Girl

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Mommy and McCanless

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McCanless & Parker

Meet her newest friend, Parker Edwin Wilkes. Born April 9th, 2004 to Lee and Chad Wilkes.
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Bouncy Seat

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Boppy Play

Here is McCanless on her boppy!
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First Easter

The Easter Bunny visited us last night!!
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McCanless in her new dress and bunny ears from Aunt Liz.
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She didn’t like her Easter Bonnet.
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Our favorite photo

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Our little girl is growing so fast!

McCanless is already 14 lbs and 9 oz!
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She smiles often and is beginning to laugh out loud.
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McCanless Finds Her Thumb!!

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McCanless sucks her thumb at night just like her mommy and daddy did as babies!
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Hiney

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The Flower Towel

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My First Pair of Shoes

McCanless would rather go without shoes, but if she must… these pink tulip slippers are very in!
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Not Happy!!

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The Bouncy Seat

McCanless doesn’t travel anywhere without her “bouncy seat.”
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Who does she look like?

The battle continues over which parent McCanless looks more like? To cast your vote click on the link!
www.babypennington.com/test.php

The three amigos

Group beauty sleeping has become the hot new item this year.
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Mommy & McCanless

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Night On The Town

McCanless, Bennett, and Anne-Hackett. The best of friends.
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McCanless & Anne-Hackett

The new girls on the block met for tea and gossip this weekend, McCanless was asking Anne-Hackett what she had missed on Days Of Our Lives in January.
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She then admired Anne-Hackett’s mommy’s decorating skills and took notice of how soft and nap-able the furniture was.
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Sleeping in the big bed

In a desperate attempt to stay out of the crib, McCanless pretends that she is sleeping so that mommy won’t move her.
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A Dog’s Life

Molly snuggles up with McCanless…(Emmie still can’t quite jump up on the couch.)Molly_01.jpg

Nap Time!

She’d rather play than nap.
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Bunny Hands
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I’m awake!
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Little Bunny Foo Foo

Little Bunny Foo Foo is napping. She loves playing dress up with mommy.
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Bath Time!!

Daddy Gives McCanless a bath in her portable jacuzzi.
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Uncle Buddy

Alston drops by to visit McCanless.
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Happy Valentine’s Day!!

This is McCanless with her new Valentine cap! Mommy and McCanless spent Valentine’s Day in Hilton Head with her grandmother Sarah and grandaddy Bob.
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Our little girl

We refer to her lately as: Pumkin, McNuggets.
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Sleeping Beauty

Don’t let her fool you…she is wide-eyed around midnight.
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Midnight Feedings!

I think we can all agree that a man’s work is never done!

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Baptism

Mommy and McCanless sitting after the luncheon at BB & CC’s.
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Baptism Luncheon

Mommy and Daddy with their newly baptized Episcopalian
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Baptism Day

McCanless was baptised at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church on Sunday. We had a small reception at CC’s house (Carl & Brucie) with family and the funeral home. It was a very nice event to get all of the “Now Officially Old” grandparents around and just enjoy watching McCanless.

One Week Old

At one week we have come to expect her to be fussy when she is either ready to be changed or ready to feed. We have begun our quest to find the perfect formula…Powder or Liquid, water or prunes, rice or apple juice… To no avail, we think that only time will help this pass. Mommy says that she gets it from her daddy (who is full of it.)
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CC & Daddy

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Daddy and McNugget

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Hairlow family

Here is the Haarlow family together at the hospital to welcome McCanless into the world!
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The Penningtons

Mommy and McCanless with CC, BB, and Aunt Michael.
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The Woodhams

Aunt Kate sits with McCanless and Mommy and Uncle Alston.
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The Penningtons

Great Aunt Deb and Great Grand-Nana pay McCanless a visit in the hospital.
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Aunt Kacy

Here is McCanless and Aunt Kacy.
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Happy Birthday!!

Delivery day is here! Lillie McCanless Pennington was born on January 5, 2004 at 7:51 AM and weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches!
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